lumi @snowangeel - Tumblr Blog

Chris wip because i got bored and have a problem.

#fanart of chris from polterkisst #i doubt ill finish this so theres shiny and less shiny asshole poltergeist idiot #i hate him with love #polterkisst #remina

Got nice demonias from vinted, exactly my size too. Lowkey wanna post actual outfit photo with these but whatever.

#been dreaming of this kind of shoes since i saw the pahalapsi shoe video years ago lol #now i finally have them #and theyre surprisingly easy to walk in too #i love how tall they make me #first time i wore them i walked thru the entire grocery store just looking at the top shelves because i cant normally reach them #got these for 40€ when people usually sell demonias for closer to 100€#i love feeling tall lol

This chilling devotion obsession is getting bad

#havent been so into a fucking “dating sim” for a long time #but the metal and folklore elements got me #cant resist loser long hair metal men #even if theyre fictional #cant wait for day 3 #cant believe someone actually made a game for people exactly like me #been drawing jim in my fav bands hoodies #ik it isnt canon but he is so finnish coded

Been feeling triggered (like always on xmas time) but still not giving up this time. Ive been eating well and on time. And i try to feel normal about it.

#holy shit i wanna relapse so bad #but i have to succeed this time #i have professional help and im getting old for this #and also fucked up my teeth and other health stuff already #cant afford that #literally i have no money for health issues lol #(not even for already existing ones yay so fun fucking hurts)#kinda vent but not rly??#im doing fine #and im not gonna relapse #also just being able to talk about this is a good sign!#this time ill actually get better #(i know that it is now or never)#(recovery now or ill die of this)#(so kinda have to)#(but im doing so well which feels scary but also good)#lol sorry

Alright im drinking and cleaning the apartment (yes it is 11am but i woke up at 5ish in the evening and this is just my natural schedule) because some BEST LONG TIME friends (who i mostly talk to online despite knowing each other for years) are visiting for a few days for new years and im so excited to see them.

#i swear i still dont have an alcohol problem against all odds it is just the holiday times now #im almost done #just have to do some dishes and laundry later today but ill get this room done and then sleep a little

I might have a type tbh and right now im fangirling over a game character

#it is loser metal guys #cant wait for new chilling devotion chapter #some things literally never change ig #already drew cd oc lmaooooo im pathetic #pathetic like the men i like so it is fine

Me (real)

#eel #eel posting

Using my real first name online feels so dangerous

#nettietiketti rule breaker

Im still into sally face lol

#been bored so i draw #sally face #larry face #i dont think i ever even posted about games that much just music #i had the fuckass sideblog for that lmao #gotta spam all here now idc

Ed tw i guess but i think im finally in successful recovery!! Got doctors involved and all and ive been very consistent. Kinda struggling still but i do feel much better already.

#probably one of the biggest reasons ive not been online is that ive been so depressed and deep in the ed bs that i didnt have energy #also school and life got into way #now im jobless piece of work and maybe doing better so whatever #(the employment situation is HARD for all so at least it isnt my fault)#lowkey vent but positive too??

This feels so weeeiiird lol

#i dont even recognise yalls pages anymore either #fuck tumblr but omg ive missed it

Idk if i should make a new tumblr or totally rework this one. Maybe a new one.

My bio still says 18 and im turning 21 in half a year, maybe it is time to update this account or something (i dont rly use socials atm, just mostly cat pics on ig but i stalk yall maybe once a year here lol)

Happy birthday bro!! 💖

Im so late BUT THANK U!!

How are u?<3

snowangeel

Never wouldve guessed this day comes but ive boy problems for real

snowangeel

it escalated and now ive a boyfriend

snowangeel

He left me. He feels that he likes me more as a friend and i get it. But why did he let me fall in love and then left me and broke me? He still wants to see me and be close friends and i do too, we match as people in any way. I just thought i finally got to be happy and someone liked me and then it changes in a few days

#he said he PROBABLY wont change his mind but this came so fast and after we didnt really see for a while that i think he might think again #i know it is stupid to hope that but fr. maybe he still wants me back some day #it just doesnt feel real or fair that first he wanted to be with me and then just left me #im not even mad at him. we still care about each other but his feelings just arent romantic i guess #he didnt even hug me for two days otherwise than in his sleep/half asleep. means nothing but is he really sure about this??#if he fucking hangs on me when he sleeps but doesnt even touch when awakw #idk #im just so endlessly sad because i thought i deserved happiness and then it just ended #i will always love him. and theres this stupid hope thay he changes his mind #i just hate myself for trusting someone and letting them in like this just to be left #it is not even his fault really. he made me happier than ever for these maybw two months. i just hope it couldve lasted a little longer #but still. what if he takes me back? what if he realises that he likes me anyways and wants to try again?? it means nothing but do you #really show that kind lf affection to person you dont like in your sleep?#of*#it was so stupid to imagine someone could love me. i wish he never wanted to be with me. now im the one left feeling like this #and he wants to still watch movies w me and hang out and stuff. i hope he at least lets me hug him as a friend #thw fact is that we get along as friends too. as people. if i believed in soulmates (platonic or other) he would be mine #im sorry im just so very broken rn #i will never be happy again

snowangeel

Turning 18 in two days and what the fuck

snowangeel

Im an adult now

#jk ill be a child next ten years. child with a permission to drink and drive (not at the same time)

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