You've never been good at "reading" other people.
At least that's what you've been told. She repeated it over and over again, along with assurances that your little head is suitable only for wearing tiaras and cute hats - not for complicated thoughts. You've been told that you shouldn't think about many things: she'd do it for you instead. Her silhouette always loomed somewhere nearby, like damocles sword in human form. Her hand could land on your shoulder at any moment, piercing your muscles with frost - you knew that it was just an involuntary gesture, unintentional, accidental manifestation of her powers. At least that's what you've been told.
You've long suspected that La Signora is watching you, even when she's not around. But how could you doubt her? You've never been able to analyze more than a couple of steps ahead; Lady Harbinger always beat you at chess, slowly moving pieces across the board, just as she used to manage human lives. Just like she used to manage your own life.
You understood that La Signora leaves her flame moths next to you for a reason. As soon as one of them broke a wing (you weren't even involved in it), you saw coldness in her condescending gaze for the first time. It only appeared there for a second, instantly changing to a understanding (after all, she could create and replace flame moths endlessly), but... Could she have replaced you in the same way if something had finally broken in your psyche, too?
La Signora would reply that it was out of the question. You were her darling princess, her little songbird, the best rose in her garden. But this princess was locked in a tower, the bird was trapped in a cage, and the rose had all its thorns cut off long ago. It didn't happen in a flash; Rosalyne knew perfectly well how to cut off all your connections slowly and methodically, how to take you deeper into her moth cocoon. She insisted that it was for your own good -the world around you was full of dangers that you simply couldn't handle. The Harbinger herself was drstically different - a noble lady coming to protect you like a twisted guardian angel. You should be grateful to her for every minute you spend next to her - just a few people are honoured by her presence, and being loved by her is an even greater treasure.
You always thought you knew what "love" means. Giving yourself whole to your partner, sharing tenderness and affection, soft smiles and quiet conversations in the evenings by the fireplace, feeling the desire to always be next to them. La Signora was always there for you until you became her shadow. La Signora was beckoning you over, waiting for you to settle down next to her, silently watching the flames in the fireplace. La Signora usually gave you a condescending smile, as if you were nothing more than a silly child trying to escape from their parents' house. La Signora was giving herself whole to you - or at least that's what she was diligently putting into your head. Which meant you had to respond with the same devotion.
Wear a dress that she likes. Drop your business and escort her to the theater. Keep quiet until it is allowed to speak. To be in her bedroom at the snap of her fingers. That was true love, an equivalent exchange for her feelings and protection, which you signed up for yourself. What's wrong with staying in her manor under guard until she gets back? After all, you've never been able to cope with what this world presents to you. What's wrong with hanging on to her every word, wondering about her momentary mood swings? After all, all of this is attentiveness and care, qualities that you had to show to her. What's wrong with nullifying objections and doing what she wants? Isn't that what people do when they're in love?
Rosalyne loved you and did everything to make you love her back.
At least that's what you've been told.
tangentwithtanner
andulkaphoto
gracieabrams
blakekathryn
amandla
baratheonpilled
pixelskylines
dailybridgerton
