object of desire

[snsoohyun]

a beautiful flower has blossomed! hiii you can call me calla (18+, she/her). this is kang soohyun (he/him/his, 24, the follower skeleton), a local rich boy genius turned university lecturer and burned out former gifted kid. give me a like or a dm to plot, or if you have discord, add me at calla#9998. tldr under the read more!

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background

the only child to two wealthy parents, who love him a lot, but not the way he wants them to

got the "gifted" label when he was pretty young, which made his parents ecstatic. loved nothing more than showing off their genius son, who was ahead of all his peers in academic and artistic matters

skipped ahead in school! was the puny youngest in his class forever! 

the girls thought he was kind of cute because he was the baby but he also quickly developed a target on his back for topping the class rankings all the time and kids and parents alike hated that for him!

the pressure to perform was constantly mounting and everyone expected him to be constantly showing exponential growth and one-upping himself or else he was "stagnant" and "not that impressive anymore" which only created more pressure and by the time he got to high school he was on the highway to burning out

at what point is a genius no longer a genius? he's wondered, for days, weeks, months, and years, when the label that had consumed him with leave, barely sated and hungry for another victim. maybe it's a lifelong parasite, one that will leech him of his blood and heart until he's nothing but dust.

the most interesting thing in this dull world is the deviant, the lighthouse in the midst of a grey night, the lifeline that brings him back down to earth.

aimlessly, obediently followed the path his parents set out for him, but suddenly now there's someone who looks past the luster and shine of a prodigy to see kang soohyun in the flesh, as mortal and fallible as he may be, and still find worth there

people might find it disappointing or pathetic, for him to so easily slip into the shadows behind a bully, a villain, the iron fist that terrorized school hallways from 8 to 4. there's something comforting in it though, that soohyun, for all his knowledge and schooling, has never been able to put into words.

currently works as an artist who puts on exhibits drawing inspiration/utilizing traditional techniques, which makes him popular with the old school folks and traditionalists! 

also guest lectures at local schools and universities

a buttoned up, stone cold, pretentious bitch if you’re not let into his inner circle

[snsoohyun]

the message is written on a white note, as compact as a business card, passed on to the kang butler. on the front, in black ink with the bleed of a fountain pen, reads ‘I wonder how daddy likes it?’ red lipstick is kissed onto the back.

Even though Kang Soohyun lived a 'separated' life from his parents, the tendrils of their influence and wealth still stained him. The high-end apartment in a part of the city most people can't even afford to look at, the knowing look in people's eyes when he introduces himself, and of course, the scattering of staff who swear they aren't reporting his movements and whereabouts to his parents every Sunday morning. He's learned to stop fighting the bad attempts at familial espionage and just start testing the limits to how much bullshitting he can feed the butler they've sent him until they snap and try and call him again.

When he received the note, no bigger than a business card, he thought it was another vague attempt at reaching out to him again. He didn't bother looking up from his morning cup of tea when he reaches for it, waving away the butler so he could focus on his breakfast. Mr. Kim shuffled back to the living room, leaving Soohyun alone in the dining room. He barely registered that it was written in a fountain pen, with all the flourish of someone very much used to the writing instrument.

The note is ignored until he is nearly finished eating, metal chopsticks reaching for the last piece of kimchi to finish his bowl of rice. It's only then that he truly processed the words.

I wonder how daddy likes it?

Soohyun wasn't the type to jump to conclusions, but ever since that black box showed up on his doorstep, on Woosung's doorstep, he's found himself second-guessing everything that found its way into his lap.

He thought of the secret slipped into his inbox, the note that says do with this what you will. He thought of an appointment with a psychologist, the slip of his tongue leading to an admission of guilt. There wasn't a name, just hints. Enough for someone with a brain to piece together something damning.

So the note wasn't something just for him. So this wasn't just him.

He crumbles up the card, dropping it in his lukewarm tea. He watches as the paper wets and disintegrates in his cup. He picks up his teacup and throws it at the wall and screams.

.

.

.

No.

That wasn't right. That would be reckless and stupid.

He looked down at the pristine card in his hand with its annoying little message, the porcelain teacup with cooling tea. He imagined setting the note on fire. He imagined being cruel and forcing someone to eat it. He imagined tearing it into pieces and leaving it for someone else to clean up. He imagined screaming expletives loud enough for a noise complaint.

No. He couldn't afford to be reckless. He wasn't—

No. He stared for a moment longer. He flipped the card over, revealing a bright red lipstick kiss. A calling card. Or a taunt. If he knew more about makeup, he might be able to recognize the name of the color, maybe even attach it to a person. Instead, he thought of crucifixes, bloody hands, and the smell of perfume that isn't his own.

Secrets. Terrible little things.

Hm.

So the game begins.

"Mr. Kim. Who gave you this note? I want a name."

[snsoohyun]

circa 2011

When Soohyun was first placed next to Hwang Taeyi, he thought the older boy was more than a little bit dumb. Maybe not academically, all things considered. His name never strayed too far from being close to the top of the rankings. Soohyun knew his parents got along with Taeyi’s, although he had never really spent time with the older student at events outside of class. His first real memorable introduction to Taeyi was when the older boy poked his cheek during Korean Literature and proceeded to stage whisper ask Soohyun what he got on the first question of the worksheet they were working on. His second real memorable introduction was when the older boy proceeded to take a nap during a transition period and asked Soohyun to wake him up when the teacher came back.

He had not waken up when Soohyun tried to wake him when the teacher came back.

Hilarious looking back at it now, as Soohyun paid for an extra snack and drink at the school’s snack shop for the currently sleeping Taeyi. The older boy seemed to take every opportunity to nap; he had perfected the art of stealth napping despite their desks being in the middle of the classroom. 

Maybe his initial reaction to Taeyi had been a bit harsh. Soohyun was pre-disposed to be overly cautious about boys in his class who tried to act friendly with him. They usually had an ulterior motive. Sometimes they wanted to peek at his exam questions ( which quickly stopped after the third time Soohyun stood up in the middle of an exam and proceeded to grab the offender’s exam and dump it in the trash ), sometimes they wanted to poke fun at how much smaller he was than everyone else ( hilarious, a 13 year old was shorter than the 15 year olds ), and sometimes they just hoped sticking close to him who shield them from Woosung’s anger ( ugh, as if ). 

Taeyi was surprising, and the fondness and friendship that grew between the two seatmates was even more shocking. Altogether way too sincere in how he smiled and the way his voice lilted around his most favorite nickname: Kkoma-yah!

If asked, Soohyun would not say he liked the nickname. But then again, anyone who saw how he smiled would know he was lying.

Soohyun placed a carton of chocolate milk and a plastic wrapped bun onto Taeyi’s desk before sitting down in his own seat. Stabbing his own banana milk open, he took a long sip before tapping Taeyi on the head to wake him up. “Hyung, you have five minutes before break ends and the teacher comes back. You should eat a snack.”

@sntaeyi​

[snsoohyun]

snwoosung​:

woosung can imagine the smug look on soohyun’s face already as he sets his phone down upon shooting off a couple of messages, eyes rolling as he sets his eyes on the box once again. it’s surely a mistake, he thinks, for there would be no logical reasoning for something dawning such a luxurious look to appear on his doorstep. especially when placing the neighborhood he resides in into consideration. it isn’t korea’s shabbiest neighborhood but when his neighbors mainly consist of university students making minimum wage and office workers who can barely afford their rent, he’s certain that one or two eyes must have widened as they walked past his door. he wonders how long the box had been sitting there, and most importantly, how is it still sitting there untouched. 

his thoughts are interrupted at the buzz of his phone, replies coming through from soohyun, words that he had expected. he chuckles, quickly tapping a few words out as a response before he sets his phone down on his wooden coffee table that also serves as a dining table and migrates towards his kitchen. which, in all honestly, is only a whole five steps from the small space he calls a living room. 

( kkt: kang soohyun ) shut up 🙄let yourself in when you’re here, you know the code anyway.

there, he pours himself a cup of hot water from the previously boiling kettle, cursing out loud as bits of water splash onto his thumb. “shit!” he almost drops the cup but he’s careful enough to set it down on the counter, albeit roughly. it isn’t bad and the burn is barely noticeable but to be on the safer side of things, he runs his thumb under cool water from the sink as the redness subsides. he sighs, turning off the water after a couple of minutes, holding his thumb up and taking in the red and callus skin, callus being the all due to his job. the cup, now forgotten, remains on the counter top as he switches gears and walks to his bathroom instead, making a beeline for the first aid kit that sits behind the sliding glass door of a cabinet. he unzips the kit and rummages through for a small bandage, just big enough to cover the surface area of his thumb. he finds one a tad too large but it will have to do, he thinks. 

having then completely forgotten about the hot water he had wanted to make tea with, he settles himself onto his couch. it’s a bit too soft for his liking, the couch, but it was on sale and who is he to deny a good deal? the sound of his door unlocking catches his attention and his eyes divert to the doorway where he spots his best friend and the box, the actual main character of this entire thing.

“took you long enough.” he says. 

he’s teasing, his way of showing affection to one of the only people he cares for in the world.

The drive to Woosung’s apartment is one Soohyun could probably do asleep. It’s a familiar set of left and right turns, a comforting transition from the skyscrapers and blinding lights to a cozy neighborhood that would fit in the backdrop of a feel-good coming of age drama. He’s painted the drive in pieces, fragments of memory that remain unnamed and unpublished. A personal collection, as if he would forget the feeling if it was shared with another person. At a stoplight, Soohyun paused to glance at black box that had ignited the visit in the first place. 

What could it be?

The premise was intriguing enough, sure. Since Woosung’s text, he’s played the words on the invitation over and over. It reminded him of a book he read once, some child’s mystery novel he had read when he was meant to apply his English lessons to something more tangible than practiced sentences in a workbook. A group of strangers are gathered for the opportunity to win the leadership of a profitable company and riches of a newly deceased millionaire. What was the title?

He turns onto Woosung’s street, circling for a parking spot before squeezing between two cars that have definitely seen better days. The walk up to the apartment is a short one, and the code comes to himself without much thought. 

The answer to his earlier thought comes to him as he unlocks the door to Woosung’s apartment. The Westing Game. He smiles to himself before pushing the door open, making eye contact with his best friend on his couch and lifting his hand to shake the black box like a treat. “Should I have broken some traffic laws for you?” 

He fits himself next to Woosung on his couch, melting into the soft cushions. The differences between his own apartment and Woosung’s is stark, but there’s a comfort and a coziness that silences the buzzing in his brain. An irreplaceable feeling of peace. His eyes flit down to the bandaid on Woosung’s thumb. It wasn’t there earlier. He isn’t sure when he started the habit of counting and tracking every bruise and cut that appeared on the older man, but by now it happens automatically. A sorry practice for someone whose best friend is a personal trainer. “What do you say?” His lips quirk up in a smile. “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours?”

[snsoohyun]

circa Winter 2018

With the way the snow blew in without warning, the number of guests at the gallery dwindled quickly. Soon it was just Soohyun and the gallery attendant on shift, a kind but strict older woman named Hana. After the fifth time Hana glanced between the empty gallery and the chilly outside, her hands crinkling her long slacks, Soohyun pushed himself away from the pamphlets he had been fiddling with to pass time. 

Miss Kim, you can go if you like. I’ll close up. Your husband is probably waiting up on you. 

There’s a wordless follow up, the knowledge that settles between the two of them. There is no one waiting up on Soohyun. 

It took only a few minutes of shallow push and pull for the older woman to pack up her things. She puts up a fight, half-hearted, a puppet show for an audience of two and the snow. It’s to be polite, a hardworking career woman’s falsities before she makes the long drive home. It’s only a small amount of tiresome, but Soohyun finds the smile he returns as they say good bye to each other to be genuine. 

As the door shuts behind her, he deposits himself on a bench in the center of the front of the gallery, poised in front of the centerpiece of the exhibit. The Familiar Reflection. He remembered sitting in front of the canvas for hours, fingers stained black and blue and red. There was very little familiar about the brushstrokes staring back at him, but the response had been alarmingly, unsurprisingly positive. He stares for a moment longer when movement to his left distracts him. There’s a girl, small, loitering outside. She’s framed only by the snow and street lights, every other storefront on the block closed. 

She looks cold.

He stands without thinking, walking and pushing open the door to the gallery. It’s technically closing time. Miss Kim will forgive him. “Hello,” he pauses, fingers already growing cold, “would you like to come in?”

@snjaein​

[snsoohyun]

snwoosung​:

words, retracted ft. @snsoohyun - present day, after invitations were sent out

lavish is oh, but a lifestyle.

pretentious is oh, but a word.

their commonality lies in a certain group of beings, the top percentile of korea that live a life most can only dream of. a life woosung has seen up close, but never close enough to partake in. he has one foot in through his best friend but it’s likely that that will be the closest he will get. it doesn’t bother him, at least not enough for it to matter. he makes jokes about soohyun’s lifestyle on occasion, poking fun at the tidbits of rich culture that he sees yet cannot participate in; call it a defence mechanism.

exhibit a reveals its head when they spot a black box on soohyun's doorstep.

"did you order something again?" he had asked. no judgement, a simple question.

it turned out to not be another custom-ordered luxury good, but an invitation of some sort to "the business venture of lifetime".

“that’s even more pretentious, and i didn’t think that was possible. you fucking rich people and your novelties, ay?”

unbeknownst to him, there would be an identical black box on his own doorstep which he found later that evening. mentally, he curses himself for making fun of soohyun, for he now is offered the same fate. an ominous black box with an even more ominous greeting inside. though there's no way this can be correct, no one on their right mind would mark him a rich guy. he's middle class at best, and that's on a good day.

he's almost certain the invitation in his hands read identical to the one at soohyun's home but he's too proud to admit defeat without verifying the actuality of the scenario.

( kkt: kang soohyun ) remember that box earlier? can you bring it over?

( kkt: kang soohyun ) i think the same one is somehow at my doorstep…but before i admit my defeat and eat my words, i need to be certain lol

As eventful as most of Soohyun’s peers like to make out their lives to be ( flights to foreign countries on a whim, secret relationships just begging to be asked about outside of polite circles, and self-made disasters for the sake of entertainment ), the real life of a spoilt rich kid wasn’t actually as exciting as they all wished it was. Another thing the dramas get wrong. However, the arrival of a plain black box on his doorstep was definitely out of the ordinary.

He brushed it aside after opening it with Woosung. It had been interesting while the other man was there, mouth turned into a smile as he made fun of the expensive looking invitation and air of mystery around the surprise package. It was probably a showy prologue to some other wealthy individual’s showcase or retirement announcement. Or maybe just a badly thought out scam. Who is to say?

It’s a wonder we never run out of things to do in our spare time, he had replied to Woosung’s teasing. Rich people and our novelties indeed.

The box sat in the middle of Soohyun’s kitchen table, closed, as he scrolled through Netflix for something to play in the background while he painted. Just as he clicked open some top 10 drama to fill the buzz, his phone flashed brightly with a new text.

Setting his iPad down, he unlocked with phone with an amused laugh. Another black box? There goes the rich kid theory. Perhaps something to do with their high school? Although the he and Woosung were best friends, the two were very different on paper. Soohyun hummed, tapping out of Kakaotalk and opening the old high school group page he had muted years ago. Scrolling through, he couldn’t find anyone else mentioning a black box or invitation.

( kkt: a woosung ) i do have some recollection, yes

( kkt: a woosung ) i’ll be over in a few

( kkt: a woosung ) kind of hilarious to imagine two different people leaving black boxes in front of doorsteps, but i’ll humor your pride~

[haoranghae-archive]

jeonghan — rock with you