i'm sick and tired of seeing all these fluffy ass best friends to lovers fics because real best friends to lovers isn't that simple.
sure it has the longing pining stretched over multiple years or decades even but it's not JUST "oh im in love with this guy/girl, i don't think they like me back tho so i won't confess" NO.
sometimes it's that but there's always this underlying feeling of "if i fuck this up, i've ruined the most important relationship in my life." so who fucking cares if i love this person so much that my heart feels like ripping into shreds, if it means that it'll be guaranteed that i'll always have them in my life, so be it.
along the way you'd think that you've moved on from each other, maybe there's the subtle (or not so subtle) flirting, pda, etc, but "that's just how we act, we're just friends. nothing more." and with that mindset, you begin to see other people, you begin to see them with other people yet something just doesn't sit right with you. the most perfect person could be sat across from you at the bar yet, it's just not them.
and when you hear that they'd gone on a date with someone else or they'd messed around with a stranger the night before, it sits uncomfortably with you, maybe it even pangs the heartstrings just a little too much than it should.
but that's weird. cause you're just friends, right?
and it begins to cloud your thoughts for the next few weeks, "did they end up seeing them again?" "did they find them more attractive than you were?" but wait, why am i so BOTHERED about this?
do i... like them? or who am i kidding, did i ever even stop liking them in the first place?
there you fall down the rabbit hole of despair, going back and forth on the thought of having a crush on your best friend, whether they still reciprocated your feelings, whether it was worth ruining your friendship.
but you'll have an epiphany. the one that asks, "would you rather leave with the regret of never trying it out and losing them to another person or see the potential?"
once you figure out that you couldn't bear living with the what if, you'd confess. whether it be the most awkward conversation ever or you end up breaking down in tears talking about your past together and apologising for being so hesitant before, it goes well.
now you lie beside your best friend, the soft morning sunlight seeping through the crack between their curtains, legs intertwining each other and the tangled sheets, their arms wrapping around your torso, and shy giggles sounding from the top of your head.
"i'm really glad you said something that day," they may whisper as their warm lips meet yours.
whether you choose to reply or just hum in response, there's a warm sensation in your chest, reminding you that life couldn't get better than this.
areudirty
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