hala why there is a void in my heart
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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we're not kids anymore.
Sweet Seals For You, Always

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@sobrangantukin
hala why there is a void in my heart
"Your life can change when you trust Jesus, when you admit your mistakes and give them to him."
choose repentance over remorse. palaging piliin bumalik. palaging piliin ang Diyos
041122
wala ako naging klase today pero may mga ojt related ako inayos. i tried to study again for BLEPT as self-review. make notes and post it in my wall. nagtry din ako maghanap hanap ng review center na mataas yung passing rate syempre at pasok din sa budget if ever. almost tempted but nakapagpigil naman but still i need to continue resist it. tapos napansin ko parang nawawalan ako ng social skills :(( ayaw ko may ibang kausap kundi si marts lang tapos inooverthink ko din kung paano makakapagreview si martin kasi may problems sila financially. siguro one factor na din yon na di ako nasanay na magopen sa iba especially friends ewan ko mas gusto ko tinatago. tapos mamaya i'll try na magprint ng materials para habang nirereview ko yung LET notes ko ay nakakapagsagot ako ng q&a. yon lang :)
i'm here to give, to serve, and to love
don't make it as validation into your whole being
you deserve someone who’s gonna treat you like you matter everyday. Not just when it’s convenient for them.
"Whatever the future holds, I know You hold me. Nothing is impossible for You."
Panghahawakan ko ang dasal na to Lord. Ikaw na ang bahala sa lahat. You know my future
"I will place my hope in You at all times because You know all things, and You hold my life in Your hands. You are my strength in times of need, and You are my salvation.
So hold me close, Lord, and teach me to walk in a manner worthy of the calling You have given me. Direct my steps as You guard my life, because I want to glorify You."
this is the prayer and reminder my heart wanted. patuloy lalaban, patuloy pipiliin iovercome. help me Lord to continue pray this wholeheartedly so that my heart stays in You and not stray apart from You.
kinikilig pa din talaga ako nung binigay ni marts to hahhahaha <33
03192022
huhu i think im finally healing. pakiramdam ko no hard feelings na ako kay dianne kasi dati since na ayon nga nalaman ko yung ganon na pala tingin samin nasaktan talaga ako. pakiramdam ko nawalan talaga ako ng friend. but now ayon nagkachikahan kami about sa ojt namin. siguro di na mababalik yung dating friendship namin but okay na ako sa ganito casual friends lang ganon but not super close.
di ko alam kung napagpray ko ba ito sa Lord pero ang tanda ko inoverthink ko to na tama ba ang ginawa ko as a friend? pero inassure pa rin talaga ako ng Diyos na tama ang amin ginawa sa pagsupport sa amin friend. alam talaga ng Diyos kung ano yung nasa loob natin, yung kahit hindi mo sabihin sa Kanya ay alam Niya ano laman ng heart mo. di ko namalayan na naghihilom na pala ako. iba talaga kumilos ang Lord sa buhay natin.
03182022
paano ko ba sisimulan ang kwento ko for today's ganaps. bahala na.
my coop teacher decided na magmeet up kami sa sm kanina para na din maabot sa amin yung mga outputs ng mga bata. syempre excited ako kagabi ganyan pinagpray ko pa na sana madami macheckan ganon dahil medyo hindi loaded kami sa ojt basta parang di namin mafeel na ojt kami sa sobra tambay lang kami after ng actual teaching namin for a week. so ayon nga sinilip ko mga output ngayong gabi at naliyo na agad ako at halo halo huhu tsaka sobrang dami talaga hahahaha. irerecord ko pa din yon. tapos ito pa isang ganap, final decision na ilipat kami ng coop school dahil ang current coop school ko ay may limited f2f e ang sbc ayaw pumayag nakakainis. so ayon ililipat kami sa sbc shs pihido loaded kami once na nakalipat kami don.
kanina sa jeep noong pauwi na ako nagrreflect ako sa nangyari sa maghapon ko. grabe kagabi lang pinagdadasal ko sa Diyos na sana maistress naman ako sa gawain ko na ibibigay ng coop ko tapos ito sinagot ng Diyos. pero netong una parang naging hesitant ako na parang gusto ko sabihin sa Lord hinay lang hahahahaha dahil nagulat lang ako sa high possibility na ililipat na talaga kami sa sbc shs. pero narealize ko na okay din na dinala ako ng Diyos dito dahil namaximize ko yung ojt ko dahil nakaranas ako ng public teaching experience and soon sa private naman.
di na ako magkaugaga sa anong uunahin. sana makasurvive ako bukas at sa darating pa mga araw <3
09032022
i’m amazed how God works in our life. today’s devo is from the book of joshua. it has been days since i am back reading the Bible. and God’s message revealed today is He truly and surely will give rewards and make His promises fulfilled to those who wait with and in Him.
03042022- this season is truly the season of encountering God ❤️
"Sa paulit ulit na pagdarasal mo ay hinahanda ka ni Lord para sa mga magagandang nilaan Niya para sayo. Pray unceasingly and Hope shall abound in your heart. "
<33 grabe at ang gandang reminder po Lord
work silently! suprise them with your victory
02/14/2022
SENDING OFF CEREMONY
gulat ako kaninang umaga noong nalaman ko na today is our send off ceremony and one of the parts of the program is yung pin ceremony. yung nameplate ko nasa school pa, tinamad naman ako kunin kasi ang hassle ang layo ko sa city kaya naimprovise na lang ako pwede naman daw. then the program started later afternoon. nakakatuwa na ininvite talaga nung iba ko kaklase yung parents nila during the ceremony. nakakalungkot lang din kasi hindi ko masabi sa mama na ilagay sa akin yung improvised nameplate ko. i set aside my negative thoughts during that time and choose to be grateful kasi ito na malapit na ako maginternship!!! and we will be deployed tomorrow and hanggang ngayon hindi pa sinasabi ng supervising adviser ko kung saan kami iddeploy. dasal ko lang talaga na hindi na ako sa sbc, gusto ko sa new environment to meet new people and new mentor. i cannot grasp how big God has stored for me for this journey but i do trust Him and His plans for me.
WEEKLY DUMP-jan 24 to jan 30 2022
monday: back 2 school - start of 2nd sem
-anxious ang heart ko para sa aking future plans. should i look for a job right after graduation or do i need to look now? tapos napagusapan namin ni marts about future work namin na baka magldr kami if ever sa malayo siya magwork.
-i start reading bible again, i start reading book of numbers
tuesday: internship orientation
ang daming reqs pero oki lang. magkakaroon daw kami ng exit demo bago kami iallow maginternship sa school na pupuntahan namin.
wednesday: medical and lesson plan making
hay naiistress ako sa topic na pinili ko pero oki lang bago experience wow. buti lang talaga may deped tv medyo niadapt ko yung activity/motivation don sa isang video nila pero pinaltan ko naman yung content nung activity. btw natuwa ako itrack ang finance ko alam ko saan napupunta ngayon ang bawat piso meron ako <3
thursday: lesson plan and ims making
productive pagod i guess. was able to finish my tasks today then nagkaroon rin ng time to listen to a podcast kasi its been a while since the last time i listened to it. martin and i also watched the last ep of our beloved summer and sobrang kilig and satisifying ng ending because everyone's is healing on their own baggage.
friday: busy-friday, blessed beyond bounds, general assembly
full sched ang friday ko ang daming ganaps mapaschool and personal. nakakapagod pero masaya ako tinapos ko ang araw na ito kasama ang Diyos. it's been a while nung last time ko makaattend ng mfc-singles activities kasi hindi na ako nakakaattend usuall ng bible study namin pero thankfully nagkaroon kami ng chapter assembly this month. naremind na muli ako kung kanino ba ako tunay na nagseserve.
saturday: date day <3
martin and i had the time to have a date. 2 weeks kami di nagkita pero sobrang miss na miss namin ang isa't isa. ssweldo nga pala din dapat ako ngayong araw pero nagtagal kasi hindi agad na process pero makukuha ko naman bukas hehe excited na ako huhu.
sunday: love bears all things, received my first payout,
attended online mass and idk pero i feel empty :(( hindi katulad ng dati na naaenergize ako kapag naattend ako ng online mass para inspired and motivated ako kumilos ganon. di ko alam bakit ganito ang nararamdaman ko. then small win na rin siguro na nakakapagpigil na ako if ever nagagawa ko yung thing na yon yes nadadala pa rin pero when i convinced myself na mali 'to parang unti unti nakakapagpigil ako. i also received my first payout huhu lablab pa with martin huhu namiss ko talaga yon kahit kakakita lang namin kahapon hahaha. di na namin napigilan isa't isa pero hopefully makapagpigil na kami. simula na ng exit demo bukas idk kelan ako makakapagdemo but hopefully it will go well.