How to Hermit: Coping with Back to School
Welcome to this week’s How to Hermit! God knows everyone is trudging back to high school, quietly sobbing that the next ~180 days of their lives are going to be spent in a linoleum and brick hell.
Even I, the wise and beautiful Resident Asshole, cannot save you from this terror. I can, however, help you get your shit together enough to exist for another school year without dropping out to work with the ‘circus’ in the abandoned parking lot two weeks a year.
Get Your Wardrobe Right, Child
I’m not asking you to get all fancy with it, I’m just asking you to make sure you have what you need, so you don’t have to deal with the bullshit of not knowing what you’re going to wear. That could take you well over ten minutes, AND YOU’RE LOSING PRECIOUS SLEEPING TIME. So you can either get Yonce ready like some person who gives a fuck,
Or you can, you know, not be a disgrace to hermits everywhere and not change out of what you slept in
Learn the Secret to Boredom
Your teachers may kick ass,
Or they may be horrific excuses for humans in and of themselves, let alone for a teacher.
But, here’s the trick: zone out. Chances are, if you have a horrifically boring teacher, they’re not going to call on you for some ridiculous question you don’t know the answer to. Just keep your eyes open and count down the minutes. I can still tell you, almost four years later, what time lunch started. 11:36, in case you were wondering. It’s literally the only thing that kept me going through 2nd period.
Don’t worry, my lovely loners. It’ll be over before you know it, and then you’ll spend the rest of your life talking about how shitty it was.
2087
gummygunk
ellievsbear
andulkaphoto
snowghoul
jbbartram-illu
