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@soft-catastrophe96
Call me nothing. Judge me nothing.
30, Unavailable.
Photos. Cats. English. العربية. Poetry. Whatever crosses my mind.
This is probably the darkest version of me, also the most honest.
I'm terrible at conversations, so I write instead.
I collect quotes, fragments, and the thoughts that refuse to stay quiet.
Some words are borrowed. Most are mine.
18+
في عيون بتنحبّ وفي عيون بتتقدس وفي عيون قالت عنهم فَيروز : مُش فجأة بينتسوا .
"There are eyes you fall in love with, eyes you hold sacred, and eyes Fairuz sang of: 'They are not forgotten overnight.'"
أتعلمين أن لديكِ عينين جميلتين؟ لا أمل من تأملهم أبدًا آه! أغرق بهم كلما رأيتكِ ولا أرغب بالنجاة
"Do you know that you have beautiful eyes? I never tire of gazing into them. Ah! I drown in them every time I see you, and I have no desire to be saved."
123
Europeans have never been independent. Never. Not politically, not economically, not intellectually, not spiritually, not materially.
Europe was never some self-made civilization standing alone on the edge of history. Europe was a peninsula of Asia, surrounded by older worlds, fed by older trade routes, instructed by older sciences, enriched by older labor, and rescued again and again by people it later pretended were beneath it.
And that did not stop when Europe crossed the ocean. The United States was not independent. It was a European settler colony built on Indigenous land, African labor, stolen Mexican territory, Caribbean extraction, Asian exclusion, Pacific expansion, and global empire. It declared "independence" from Britain while depending on enslaved Africans to produce its wealth, Indigenous dispossession to expand its borders, and imported European political myths to justify itself.
Australia was not independent. It was a British settler colony planted on Aboriginal land, built through invasion, massacres, forced removals, stolen children, prison labor, imperial law, and the fantasy of terra nullius. They called it "settlement" because "organized theft with a flag and bad paperwork" sounded too honest.
Canada was not independent. It was a French and British settler project built on First Nations, Métis, and Inuit lands, held together by treaties broken by the state, residential schools, resource extraction, and a monarchy still sitting in the background like a powdered-wig landlord pretending to not smell the basement.
New Zealand was not independent. It was a British settler colony imposed on Māori land, wrapped in treaty language, land courts, military campaigns, and colonial law, and polished into a postcard so the theft could look scenic.
South Africa was not independent. Dutch and British settlers did not build freedom; they built racial capitalism, land theft, mining empires, pass laws, apartheid, and a whole architecture of domination that needed African labor while denying African humanity.
Rhodesia was not independent. It was a settler colonial tantrum in a stolen house, declaring sovereignty over land that was never theirs, and then acting surprised when history came to collect rent.
Israel is not independent in the way settler states pretend to be independent. It depends on displacement, militarization, Western backing, U.S. aid, European guilt, colonial borders, and the constant denial of Palestinian existence.
Every European settler state carries the same contradiction: they scream independence while depending on the people they dispossessed. They wave flags over land they did not create. They build capitals on graves, write constitutions over theft, call invasion "settlement", call dependence "sovereignty", and occupation "civilization".
The USA, Australia, Canada, New Zealand, Rhodesia, Israel, and every other European settler project inherited Europe's oldest habit: surviving off the world while pretending the world owes them respect.
Europeans were never independent. They were networked, supplied, taught, fed, financed, carried, protected, settled on stolen land, enriched by stolen labor, armed by empire, excused by myth. And when the world remembers that, the whole settler colonial fantasy starts shaking.
transcript from the video by Jorge the Vanguard
الرغبة في كتابة كل موقف أو حدث بشوفه، وبعدها أرجع أمسحه، بقت تقريبًا حاجة يومية. يومياتي دلوقتي فيها أكتر من 3720 قصة، أو موقف، أو شعور، أو شيء محدش ينفع يعرفه، ومحدش هيعرفه.
مش عارف ليه بكتب. وقفت فترة، ورجعت أكتب، ورجعت أكتر من الأول. بحكي أحيانًا من طرف تالت، كأني POV لشخص تاني خالص، شخص واقف بعيد وبيبص عليّ وبيحكي عني.
الغريب إني أحيانًا بشوف نفسي كشيء شيطاني، رغم إن مفيش أي دليل حقيقي على كده. مفيش حاجة تثبت إنني الشخص اللي عقلي بيصوره. لكن فيه شيء جوايا أقوى من كل الأدلة، بيقولي إني شخص سيئ.
يمكن عشان كده أنا دايمًا بعيد عن أي حد.
بكتب هنا لأن محدش يعرفني. ولأن فيه حاجات مستحيل أقولها بصوت عالٍ، وحاجات حتى لو حاولت أشرحها، مش هعرف.
فهيفضل دايمًا فيه جزء مني أنا الوحيد اللي أعرفه، وجزء تاني هو اللي بيحكي.
ومحدش هيعرف الفرق بينهم.
The sky decided to show off.
3:53am
No sleep....
normalize saying “unfortunately you’re no longer a safe person for me and I refuse to continually sacrifice my nervous system to make you feel comfortable”
“شعرتُ أن لا جدوى من أن أُخبر أحد بأيّ شيء كان يجري في داخلي”.
- كريستا فولف، Crista Wolf
"من الصغر وأنا أصل إلى ما أريد ، ولكن أصل وأنا منهك بالقدر الذي لا يجعلني أفرح، وكأنني أصل لأستريح ، لأستريح فقط"
"Since my youth, I have always achieved what I set out to reach, but I arrive so exhausted that no joy remains—as though I arrived merely to rest, and nothing more."
"I thought I would never make it through, yet I crossed; I thought I would never move past it, yet I overcame; I thought I would never arrive, yet I reached; and I thought there was no salvation, yet I survived."
3:53am
No sleep....
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