@soft-summer-skies @soft-summer-skies - Tumblr Blog

worthless-misery

Dear diary...

I am not okay.

But I always have to pretend I am. And it's exhausting.

I don't know how much longer I can do this.

becherdireinen

i’m so private that my own family don't even know me like that.

inksplit

worthless-misery

"I'm so lost. I'm barely here... I wish I could explain myself, but words escape me."

Blink-182, "Stockholm Syndrome"

sa-dnesss

I think I have reached the point in life where I really don't care what happens to me anymore.

becherdireinen

as 2025 comes to an end, and everyone is posting their achievements, or their personal news like engagements, pregnancies, first house bought. i need you to know, sometimes just surviving the year is the achievement. sometimes just pushing through the heavy dark days is enough.

sa-dnesss

Can’t sleep. Can’t wake up. Can’t remember the last time I felt like myself. My thoughts are loud but my mind is empty. Food doesn’t taste the same anymore. Conversations feel far away, like I’m watching my own life happen without me. I’m tired in a way sleep doesn’t fix. Days blur together until weeks disappear. It’s Monday, then somehow it’s Sunday again. Everyone else keeps moving forward, and I’m standing still, pretending I’m okay while quietly losing pieces of myself I don’t know how to get back.

becherdireinen

to be so understanding and never understood is draining.

sa-dnesss

and just like that, I’m back in the same place I fought so hard to get out of

becherdireinen

they should invent a brain that doesn't whisper bad things to you.

ewaneneollav

a child who is persistently alone & does not want to be alone does not learn that they on occasion have time to themselves during which they can do whatever they want, they learn that occasionally they will have time to themselves throughout which they will do nothing except exactly what they do not want to do - something that is synonymous with that duration of time. if they were being made to do some or other unpleasant thing, like hold their hand on a hot stove, that would not be synonymous with the duration of time, it would be something occupying that duration of time. when they are made ito be alone, the fact that they are alive & conscious is felt as a profound lack rather than the fundamental opportunity atop which all other opportunities are built, & the passage of time becomes something to be endured because it continually implies their continued existence & awareness. life for them then becomes organized not around exploration nor seeking enjoyment or fulfillment, but around strategies for continually enduring the fact that they exist

frirye

This explains so much. WTF

becherdireinen

detachment is quiet. it's not slamming the door. it's just... not knocking anymore.

stuckinapril

Just try your best, get off your phone as much as you can, honor your hurt feelings and also the hurt feelings of others, favor sincerity over nonchalance whenever it’s appropriate to, reach out to people you miss, let go of people when it’s time, operate from a deeply rooted self respect rather than from a lens of what people think, try your best to read the room, sit in the sun on overcast days (with sunscreen on), drink lots of water, pursue everything you want aggressively, accept that your timeline will be different, welcome detours if circumstances call for them, hold both yourself and others accountable, try to move your body as much as you can and you will be okay diva