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Back Detail: Christian Siriano for Kleinfeld Spring/Summer 2017 Bridal Collection.

5/1/16

Today I realized how fast I have grown up. I can still remember sitting in my mom’s van, my first day of high school, terrified to get out because I thought I would get lost. Now I’m sitting in my half empty dorm room, about to finish my freshman year of college.

If you would have told that scared little freshman about my life now, she would have been shocked. First, because she didn’t plan on making it to college. I’ve struggled with loving myself, and loving life, for as long as I can remember. Overall I’ve gotten better, but I still have my days. I wouldn’t trade my life now for anything. I go to a huge State University, have a great job, great friends, a huge support system from my sorority, a loving family, and an amazing boyfriend who loves me when I don’t love myself. I have my ups and downs, but I’m not taking anything for granted.

Freshman year taught me more about myself than I could have imagined. I made mistakes, struggled, but in the end I made it. There were days when I honestly didn’t see the point of going on anymore, but I’m glad I’m here. I’m not suicidal, I’m trying to love life, and I love my family and friends more than anything in this world. Loving myself is the problem, but I’m trying.

I’m going to miss this little dorm room, and all the memories with it. This is where I cried when my hometown boyfriend dumped me, this is where we got ready and pregamed for tailgates and frat parties, this is where I spent hours studying and gossiping, this is where I spent hours painting coolers, this is where my boyfriend told me he loved me. I’ll be back in less than 3 months, but I’m really starting to think Raleigh is my home now and I couldn’t be happier.

#journal

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i love people who get excited about stars

ruinedchildhood

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jewlsies

those little things on ur nose aren’t blackheads, don’t try and get rid of them they’re sebaceous filaments and they’re permanent and literally everyone has them

every girl has that little pouch of fat on her lower tummy, despite what magazines try n show u, you have important organs there that need to be protected don’t try and get rid of ur pouch

ur body is smarter than u think and it knows what to do when u eat more than normal. one bad day, or even week, of eating poorly isn’t gonna ruin anything at all I pinky promise

if u think u look good up until u try taking a selfie, it’s not ur fault - our faces are asymmetrical and when u see ur face flipped it will look unnatural to u, since u don’t see it that way when u look in the mirror. to everyone else it looks perfectly fine

no one’s stomach looks the same at 8pm as it does at 8am. no one has a chiseled six pack after a day of eating, not even the super fit people u see on tumblr, because ur stomach naturally expands after eating and expecting to have a flat tummy before bed is very unrealistic

no one notices if the bags under ur eyes are bad today. no one pays attention to the bump in ur nose or the zit on ur chin or the piece of hair that u missed when u were straightening. literally no one notices these things except you so stop worrying about it ur gonna be fine

sometimes u just gotta get over urself

atlasri3ing

this made me cry I needed it so bad