pairing: sim jaeyun x reader
genre: angel!jake x angel!reader, romantic tension, angst, religious themes, yearner!jake, silent admirer!yn, outcast!jake
warnings: profanity, major character death, jake is corrupted by his desires, kissing, 18+
synopsis: a life as an angel isn't what it's cut out to be. jake often found himself questioning whether or not this was everything heaven had to offer and he couldn't help but let his desires fester the more he yearns for something greater than what he had.
wc: 5395
āplease.. iāll do anything, justā please. just stop all of this.āĀ
the pleads of the angel arenāt anything but music to the darknessā ears. the darkness knew this is how everything would play out in the end and the darkness didnāt do anything to stop it. the darkness encouraged it, enabled it, promised it.Ā
the angel didnāt know this is what would happen.Ā
āwhat do you think the humans do down there?ā jaeyun asks as the two of you lay next to each other, eyes looking up at the vast whiteness that surrounded you. as angels, youāre often tasked with different responsibilities like looking after humans as guardians, working alongside the higher order, but most common; a lot of angels were just angelsā no direction or specific purpose. they just lived their lives like humans do but with greater restrictions.Ā
āiām not sureā you know, jaeyun. you have a real interest in humans. what do you find so interesting about them anyway?ā you ask, turning to your side so you could look at him. you can see jaeyun swallow as his neck slightly bobs, he blinks a few times before turning towards you, resting his hand on his propped up elbow.Ā
jaeyun hums unsurely with a pout. heās never understood why he had this fascination with humans. he liked to observe them, albeit he wasnāt a guardian angel of sorts, but he liked to study them. understand their habits and behaviors; he even found himself mimicking some of their actions once but immediately stopped when you questioned his new behavior.Ā
the two of you were just regular angels. you used to be a guardian angel but you couldnāt bear being assigned to a human because they never grasped the concept of living thoroughly. as an angel, youāve been alive for thousands of years; have seen the change of humanity through all of history and you couldnāt stand seeing how badly theyāve treated each other. you were only a guardian to one person before you begged the angels of the higher order to reassign you to something else, eventually just being a normal angelā but you didnāt mind it.Ā
you and jaeyun met on your first day after the end of being a guardian angel, he had told you that he was quite jealous because he wanted to be one and as hard and often he pleaded with the angels of the higher order, they simply told him that he wasnāt a great fit. they never explained what they meant by but jaeyun tried his best not to be offended.Ā
he was a generally curious person, always wanting to know the why behind the how; but lately his curiosities have gotten him in situations that he shouldnāt be in. jaeyun had recently been reprimanded for snooping in the grand hall library. it was a vast space filled with different books, scrolls, and scriptures of every moment in history about humans and angels alike.Ā
thankfully he was just left with a slap on the wrist but that didnāt stop jaeyun from wanting to know more and more. he just couldnāt help it.Ā
āyouāve really got to stop sneaking around to try to find answers to questions you donāt have jaeyun. youāre lucky they left you off with a warning but you shouldnāt push until you figure out what punishment theyāll have in store for you.ā you warned him, nibbling on your bottom lip as you watch jaeyun, analyzing his face for his reaction.Ā
his face is somewhat stoic but you can tell heās thinking about something. you just arenāt sure what could be going on in that head of his. you never really know.Ā
youāve been friends for a few years now, many of the angels often confuse the two of you as lovers but as nice as that sounds to you, jaeyun has never shown you interest in that way. your stolen glances, shy smiles paired with blushing cheeks often go unnoticed by jaeyun. you arenāt sure if anything would ever blossom between the two of you romantically, but youāre content with just being his friend as long as youāre by his side.Ā
ācome on, supper will start soon and we donāt wanna be late. i know how much you like the fresh bread they have.ā you say, standing up and dusting off your white dress. you reach out a hand to help jaeyun up and he stares at you momentarily. you blink at him as he takes in your features. had you always been this beautiful?
how had he not noticed before?Ā
jaeyun smiles at you as he takes your hand in his, a slight groan slips from your lips as you help pull him off the ground even though heās completely capable of doing it himself. the small interaction between the two of you sends electricity shooting through your body when jaeyun stands up on his two feet and slightly stumbles, causing the two of your bodies to gently collide together.Ā
you look up at him like heās got everything you need in his eyes. the moment is still and quiet, like the two of you were captured in the frame of a painting.Ā
āweā we should go.ā you whisper and jaeyun nods, moving first as his hand slips from your waist. the touch of his hands still lingering on your body.Ā
jaeyun often wondered if this was it. he had long grown tired of his usual routine as an angel. heād wake up, greet the other angels that lived in his district, heād meet up with you, then repeat it all over again. he was honestly grateful to have met you because before that he probably wouldāve gouged his own eyes out from boredom. at least with you he had someone he could spill his curiosities to. someone he could share his ideas and wonders; you never judged him for it either.Ā
sometimes youād look at him with a puzzled expression, one that he found cute, but he knew it was because you just didnāt know as much as he did. jaeyun prided himself for his knowledge which is why he had a natural ache to learn more, to ask questions, and to find answers.Ā
it wasnāt until just a few months ago when he managed to sneak into the grand hall library where he spent hours looking through different historical pieces of writing that only made him more and more curious. he would pair what he had learned from the worn down books to the way heās observed humans and create connections between the two. it was all so magical to him and fed his desire to want more.Ā
this couldnāt be all that heaven had to offer. the way angels and heaven were spoken about by humans and with the ink on paper through history; jaeyun knew there was more and he made sure to look for it. whatever it was.Ā
āhey, do you wanna go to the north quarters? jongseong and sunghoon will be there.āĀ
jaeyun looks at you with furrowed brows, since when did you start talking to jongseong and sunghoon? he thought you were his one and only friend.Ā
ājongseong and sunghoon?ā he asks, voice low.Ā
you nodded in response, telling him that you started to learn the harp from jongseong and sunghoonās always there because the two boys were practically connected at the hip. jaeyun hums in response and tells you that heās actually got something to do.Ā
āokay, then.. have fun. iāll see you at supper.āĀ
āyn. wait.. just be careful around those guys ok?ā
āthere isnāt anything to be worried about jaeyun, but thank you. you be careful too, ok? no more sneaking into the grand hall.ā you joked, jaeyun laughing at your joke as he waves you off. your figure getting smaller and smaller as you walked towards your destination.Ā
there was something inside of jaeyun that changed after that conversation. he didnāt know why but the idea of you being around other angels, specifically male angels, made his heart beat louder. his breathing quicker and he seemed to have an unidentifiable emotion brewing inside of him.Ā
was it jealousy?Ā
rage?Ā
he doesnāt know but he was going to make sure that you donāt slip away.Ā
āyn? you ok? youāve been zoning out since you got here.ā jay mumbles, pausing the strings of the harp heās playing. sunghoon looks up at the two of you from his position in the corner of the room. both boys waiting for your response.Ā
āsorry, i justā thereās a lot on my mind, i guess.ā you mutter and they encourage you to keep going. your friendship with them was fairly new and they hadnāt given you any reason to not trust them. they were both very kind and had pure hearts.Ā
you tell them that jaeyunās been acting weird. compared to his usual curious nature that would lead him to exploring things he shouldnātā there was just something different about him. you couldnāt quite put your finger on it but there seemed to be a specific force inside of him that was bringing him to untouched corners that remain untouched for a specific reason.Ā
like he had a desire inside of him that you hadnāt seen anywhere else besides the inside of a human that was led down the wrong path.Ā
ābut please donāt tell anyone. iām probably just thinking too hard. iām sure jaeyun is fine.āĀ
both of them nod at your confession, telling you that you neednāt worry and that your secrets were safe with them. sunghoon and jongseong didnāt particularly like jaeyun. jaeyun was like an outcast and kept to himself, that was until you became his friend. sunghoon never liked jaeyun, his parents had told him about how since no one ever knew where jaeyun came from that he should be wary of him.Ā
jaeyun didnāt have parents like all of the other angels. he just appeared one day, a small child with feathered wings on his back wrapped up in a cloudy white blank. the higher order took him in and ever since heās just been in heaven. no one knows where or who jaeyun came from but maybe thatās why he had an innate curiosity.Ā
a small boy from the unknown that searched for answers about things no one had been curious about before.Ā
the three of you walked together as you made your way to supper, jaeyun still heavy on your mind as the two boys beside you sent each other knowing glances. jongseong had no reason to dislike jaeyun but because he was sunghoonās best friend, he automatically disliked jaeyun out of responsibility for being sunghoonās friend.Ā
your eyes scan the large supper hall to see if you could find jaeyun but just as you think he didnāt show up for supper, he appears at your side, glaring at the two boys next to you. āyn, can we talk for a sec?ā he asks, grabbing hold of your wrist, already pulling you away from your friends. you stutter out a few words but sunghoon steps in out of worry and disdain for the boy youāre about to leave with. ānot going to have supper? you should eat, yn.ā he says.Ā
you look up at sunghoon, reluctance in your eyes but you reassure him regardless. you werenāt sure why jaeyun wanted to talk but you tell sunghoon and jongseong that itās fine and that youād eat something later. encouraging them to go eat supper.Ā
jaeyun drags the two of you away from the supper hall, glaring at the two guys who are now looking at each other with worried expressions. the three of you hadnāt been friends for long but your proximity to jaeyun was enough for them to worry about you. jongseong and sunghoon watch as the two of you walk away, both of them choosing to skip dinner and find one of the angels of the higher order to report their worries about jaeyun and your safety.Ā
you try your best not to stumble over your own feet as jaeyun drags you away, hand still gripping your wrist as he takes you to wherever. his pace is quick, like heās rushing off somewhere, afraid that itāll be gone by the time you arrive.Ā
or perhaps he was in a rush to get you away from the two boys who had intentions opposite of him.Ā
you notice the path youāre on with jaeyun. recognizing that the building you were about to enter was the old cathedral that the higher order used to have their conclaves. it was a tall, old, abandoned building that stood mighty despite being unused for the last century. the higher order had prohibited everyone from entering the building, but because it was everything that was forbidden, jaeyun gravitated towards it.
ājaeyun, slow down! we arenāt even allowed to be hereā yn. look..ā he says, coming to a halt as jaeyun drags you towards the back of a cathedral. a large wooden door in front of you both with an emblem you donāt recognize.Ā
āwhat is this?āĀ
jaeyun finally lets go of your wrist as he walks over to the door to explain what he had found. you rub your wrist, your skin tender and irritated from his grip. ālook.. i never noticed this door before until i saw a scroll with the same exact symbol and i knew it looked familiar.ā he says, pulling the crumpled up scroll from his pockets.Ā
ādid you take this? jaeyun, youāre going to get in so much trouble!ā you huff, taking the paper from his hands but he quickly snatches it back.Ā
āi donāt care! i want answers, ok?ā he says, chest rising and falling as he continues to tighten his fist around the paper. he closes his eyes to calm himself down and thatās when you notice just how exhausted he looks. his face was pale, eyes and cheeks sunken in, and lips chapped. it was like he hadnāt slept or eaten in so longā he looked drastically different from when you saw him just a few hours ago.Ā
while you were with jongseong and sunghoon, jaeyun had snuck into the grand hall library once again and found his way into a locked vault of more scrolls and books that jaeyun didnāt see the first time he had broken in. he read through as many as he could in the time that you were with jongseong and sunghoon. the books talked about an essence, one of knowledge and power that would give anyone who summons it everything they ask for, just at the price of something they hold dear.Ā
jaeyun knew that he didnāt have a lot in his life so the exchange wouldnāt be drastic to him.Ā
he realized that he had seen the symbol on the scroll before and tried to wrap his mind around where he had seen it. the old abandoned cathedral because he used to sneak into there to clear his mind when he couldnāt think straight. jaeyun quickly stuffs the scroll haphazardly into his pockets and runs over to the supper hall to find you because he didnāt know anyone else that would care as much as you did.Ā
you slowly walk over to him, his head is low and you can tell heās exhausted. everyone always had something to say about jaeyun and most of it was negativeā you were truly the only person who ever listened to him, cared about him, and was there for him. you were all jaeyun had and it hurt to see that everyone elseās behavior was starting to rub off on you with the way youāve begun to question his actions. your hand gently cups his face as you try to raise his head. āhey.. look at me.āĀ
jaeyun slowly raises his head and the two of you lock eyes. you held his gaze and jaeyun was starting to realize that everything he thought he needed was behind your eyes. you looked at him so tenderly, treated him with care, and was the only person to ever show him the closest thing to love.Ā
āi need you to breathe, ok? iāll listen to whatever you have to say, just.. just breathe.ā and you can feel jaeyun instantly relax into your touch. his hand now rests over yours as you caress his cheek, the feeling of your skin on his enough to bring him down and soothe the storm that was previously brewing inside of him.Ā
jaeyun exhales like he had been holding everything in for so long and in a lot of ways he has but you were here now, so that means he could finally make the breakthrough he had been looking for and youād be here to witness the greatness of his discoveries.Ā
his wonders and the only person to ever care for him, it was perfect.Ā
āokay.. what did you find?āĀ
he looks into your eyes momentarily, a smile spreading onto his face the sound of interest, before walking over to the door, hands reaching out towards the symbol. jaeyun goes on to explain that the scroll was written ages ago and that the symbol marks desire. the one to summon the entity behind the symbol is able to be granted what they want at the cost of a sacrifice.Ā
ājaeyun, a sacrifice? isnāt that bad..āĀ
āno, yn. i promise. it says the sacrifice is something that i hold closest to me and.. i have nothing. this transaction canāt be that bad..ā you gulp at his response, worry starting to settle in your stomach but because you cared about jaeyun and wanted to see this through, you chose to not push and let him continue.Ā
āwhat do you need to do? i meanā this building is abandoned and i never even knew this door existed.āĀ
jaeyun swallows the lump in his throat as he looks at the large door up and down. unsure of where to even start. the scroll only says that those with a desire so great shall be able to summon the entity. the entity was described as an essence, a source of knowledge and power that exceeds physical body and spiritual planes. it rang bells inside of jaeyunās head because finally, it felt like he was on the cusp of something and would be able to get what he had been looking for.Ā
ālet me see that.ā you say, walking over to grab the scroll from his hands.Ā
the words on the paper didnāt provide you with any new information, it was all the same as what jaeyun had said but you noticed that the symbol on the paper was circled by an ancient text. characters that you didnāt recognize and when you looked up at the symbol on the door, those characters were missing.Ā
āwaitā look at this.ā you say, getting jaeyunās attention as you point out the difference between the two symbols. āthatās it! maybe we need to write that around the symbol and itāll activate it somehow.ā he says enthusiastically, smiling wider and wider.Ā
āyouāre a genius, yn! i could kiss you right now.ā jaeyun says absentmindedly, not realizing what he had just said while he takes a look around the cathedral from something to write the text. you stood still for a second as you registered his words. did he mean that? or was he just speaking out of excitement..
either way the thought of kissing jaeyun didnāt seem like such a bad idea. his lips were beautifully shaped, you had often focused on them when he was talking about his ideas and curiosities. they looked soft and it made you wonder how soft theyād feel against yours.Ā
āokay, all done.ā jake says as he writes the last character at the bottom of the symbol. youāre surprised at how fast he was able to do that but because jaeyun was determined, you knew that heād get it done in no time. you walk over to him and jaeyun mindlessly entwines your fingers together as you wait for something to happen. you look down at your hands, yours in his, and it makes you smile. such a small yet intimate connection.Ā
youāre taken out of your thoughts when a low rumbling starts to emit from the cathedral. dust and old concrete particles fall from the ceiling as the rumbling continues and just as youāre about to suggest to leave, the symbol on the door begins to glow. the both of you are completely enamored by the glowing light, eyes glued to the door until it slowly swings open.Ā
the room behind the door is dark but alluring. there was a quiet whispering coming from behind the door and as you stood in your spot, jaeyun soon started to walk towards it. your hand being pulled in front of you as jaeyun gets closer and closer to entering the door and as much as you tried to stop him, to stand still and pull him back, you find yourself walking through the door just like jaeyun. your hand still in his.Ā
jaeyun had a natural curiosity but as an angel that came from nowhere, a lot of the angels always judged him. said that he was from somewhere unholy as much as it was unknown. he questioned the higher order and why angels should follow their instructions, who made them in charge, and why no one knew where jaeyun is from.Ā
but not you.Ā
you always admired how intelligent jaeyun was, he was thought provoking, brilliant, and challenged your thinking. you appreciated how much he wanted more out of life, how his desires always stemmed from curiosity, and how he never let anyoneā despite their judgemental comments, stop him from what he wanted to do.Ā
the two of you would spend hours in each otherās company where jaeyun would talk endlessly about his deepest desires and what they mean to him and how it can open up the world more than we know it. it was insightful and although you didnāt fully understand what he was saying most of the time, you couldnāt help but smile at everything he said and did.Ā
jaeyun on the other hand, loved that you listened to him. you never judged him when he would talk your ear off about what was on his mind recently, youād just sit to the side while smiling at him; encouraging him to keep going with his thoughts whenever he felt like he was talking too much or youād ask questions when he would stop talking altogether. another way to encourage him to keep going because you didnāt mind it one bit.Ā
even when jaeyun was deep in his thoughts and rambling about what discovery he was on the cusp of, he was still attentive towards you. while you paid attention to the growing thesis of his words, jaeyun paid attention to your kind eyes and how they welcomed every thought heās ever had. he paid attention to the color of your skin and how it glowed, the curvature of your lips, and most importantly; how you smiled at everything he said and it wasnāt the type of smile that heād get from other angels whenever he greeted them and theyād just smile so jaeyun would leave them alone.Ā
your smile was different. your smile made him feel appreciated, understood, seen, and loved.Ā
jaeyunās hand tightened around yours as the both of you walked into the darkness. a singular light source peeking into the dark room but it soon leaves the both of you in complete darkness when the door randomly shuts behind both of you with a long creak and an eventual thud.Ā
the slamming of the door causes you to jump but jaeyun is quick to pull you close to him. he rubs your knuckles with his thumb to calm you down but despite his efforts to calm you down. you were surrounded by darkness but you forced yourself to keep walking besides jaeyun, unsure of where the two of you were even going.Ā
a low whispering fills the room as a cold chill sweeps by the both of you when a large flame suddenly blazes in the far distance, the light of the flame bright enough to cast fiery hues across both of your faces. jaeyun drags the two of you closer to the flame but even though you were starting to become afraid, jaeyunās presence was enough to help you keep going.Ā
just as you approach the large flame, a low roaring voice booms through the room.Ā
ājaeyun.. iāve been waiting for you.āĀ
you look over at him, confused as to how it knew jaeyunās name. you didnāt even know what āitā was. was this the entity? the essence that jaeyun was talking about from what heās seen from all of the pages of pages and scrolls he had read.Ā
āiāve been watching you, my child. iāve seen you grow into the angel you are now. propagated your thoughts like soil and seeds, nurtured the curiosity inside of you into action, and allowed for your desires to fester inside of you.
iām glad you finally found your way to me.āĀ
you looked over at jaeyun once again and heās completely hypnotized by the essence. the flames in front of you made his eyes glow like he was looking up at the north star. his lips were slightly parted and you could see the genuine delight in his eyes. youāve never seen him look at anything or anyone like that before, not even you.Ā
āiāve been waiting for this opportunity.. i canāt believe itās true, i thought all of this was just ink on paper butā this is real.ā jaeyun breathes out, his grip on your hand unmoving as he has the conversation with the entity. you swallowed the fear in your throat and you didnāt know what to do. you couldnāt call for help but you also knew that you couldnāt drag jaeyun out of here because he was deeply involved whatever this was.Ā
āare you prepared?āĀ
jaeyun nods in response and his hand suddenly loosens over yours. your eyes drop to your hands on the sudden loss of contact, unsure why he had let you go. ājaeyun? prepared for what?āĀ
āremember when i told you about the deepest desire and how summoning the entity will grant them what they wanted?Ā
this is that.. iāve summoned it and now my greatest and deepest desires will come true.āĀ
jaeyun talked about a lot of things that you didnāt fully understand and this moment was one of those times. you couldnāt fully grasp what was going on between the two of them, like there was some unspoken agreement that they only knew and you were a bystander, witness to the obscurity of jaeyun speaking to nothing but the scorching inferno.Ā
ājaeyun.. what does that mean..?āĀ
he suddenly turns towards you, grasping onto your hands once again and placing them on his chest. you could feel his heart beating, it was steady but it was hard, you could tell that this was something that was riling him up.Ā
āi need you to listen to me. ok, yn?ā you slowly nod, still unsure of what is happening.Ā
āiām finally going to get my answers. everything that iāve ever wanted and moreā i just need to make a sacrifice and then everything will be mine.āĀ
you shook your head at him, he wasnāt the same jaeyun you knew anymore. the jaeyun that you had begun to fall in love with was long gone. he had a dark desire in his eyes, the brightness long gone but replaced with a type of darkness that made his eyes look like black holesā the longer you looked into them it was like you were being sucked right in.Ā
āno no no.. please listen.ā he says, grabbing your face with his hands so that you couldnāt look into his eyes. āplease, believe me. youāre the only person who has ever listened to meā believed me, seen me.Ā
please..āĀ
āokay..ā you managed to whisper and jaeyun smiles in relief, pulling you into his chest as his arms wrap around your body but before youāre able to wrap yours around him, youāre suddenly snatched away from jaeyun as a black smoke wraps itself around your body and pulls you away from him.Ā
āwhat? what are you doing! give her back!ā jaeyun screams as youāre pulled away from him, the black smoke holding you in the air above the inferno that seemed to only grow bigger, brighter, and hotter. āput her down!āĀ
the entity laughs at him like he was stupid. āitās time, jaeyun. your sacrifice must be made.āĀ
jaeyun furrows his brows in anger at the voice, unsure what you have to do with it until he realizes his grave mistake. the scrolls explained that the person who summons the entity to make their desires come true had to make a sacrifice and since he didnāt have anything because he came from nowhere, jaeyun thought he could cheat the system and find a way to not have to sacrifice anything.Ā
but he was gravely wrong.Ā
he had grown very close with you. your relationship blossoming behind closed doors and secret conversations away from the rest of the angels. jaeyun had fallen in love with you and he hadnāt even realized it.Ā
but the darkness did.Ā
jaeyunās eyes watered as the black smoke lowered you closer and closer to the flame. the fire begins to burn the edges of your white clothes, black staining the fabric as you begin to feel the scalding heat of the fire.Ā
āplease.. iāll do anything, justā please. just stop all of this.ā jaeyun pleads, his lips quivering as tears fall down his face. you scream in pain as the fire becomes more and more painful, pleading for all of it to stop, begging for jaeyun to help but he is frozen in place.Ā
his eyes were dark as tears made them glisten, the image of the fire reflecting in his eyes as he continued to watch you burn in the inferno that he created. the darkness knew this all along. it watched as jaeyun fell more and more in love with you and once he had finally figured out how to summon the darkness, it knew that jaeyun would bring you along.Ā
jaeyun himself hadnāt known it until it was too late. you were an angel with a bright aura and golden light inside of youā but in the darkness, you were his sacrifice. you no longer had the ability to scream or cry as the last of your being was burnt by the flame. a singular tear running down your face as jaeyun falls to his knees before the fire.Ā
ājaeyun.. tell me. now that your sacrifice has been made; what is it that you want? what do you desire? declare your deepest desires to me, my child.āĀ
heās silent. head low as his knees begin to ache. besides the aching in his chest, he felt empty. he didnāt know that this is how everything would play outā if he had, heād never brought you here. he loved you but maybe that was the issue.Ā
if he hadnāt loved you then you wouldāve never been sacrificed. if he never met you then this wouldāve never happened.Ā
jaeyun slowly raises his head as the inferno continues to intensify in a frenzy. he swallows the dryness in his throat before declaring his wish.Ā
when jaeyun leaves the room, the same old wooden door shuts behind him, although now the symbol disintegrates into ash. he walks with his head low, feet dragging on the concrete as he makes his way out.Ā
ājaeyun!ā someone calls out. he raises his head and sees jongseong and sunghoon running towards him. urgency on their faces as they see jaeyun, rough and alone.Ā
āwhereās yn? what did you do?ā sunghoon asks as they approach him. jaeyun just blinks at them like he was in a daze. like he wasnāt completely conscious and was fighting to stay upright.Ā
ājaeyun! answer us, where is yn?ā jongseong says, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him in frustration.Ā
jaeyun shoves them off of him before speaking, āwho is yn?āĀ
the unscripted lines where the boyfriends lie - teaser
Synopsis: The city that never sleeps doesnāt quiet down for grief. Instead, it roared right through it: the restless noise of New York, the constant hum of cars, the rattling of subway trains, the sharp cry of sirens at midnight⦠Then, there was the quiet ache of returning to your childhood bedroom, only this time with the ghosts of āforeverā and the wilted flowers from your late boyfriendās funeral. While drowning, youāre desperately trying to convince your family ā and yourself ā that youāre okay.
And there he is. The last person you ever wanted to see, let alone share space with: your best friendās older brother. Once a child star, currently a tarnished name hiding from the spotlight. When an accidental run-in leads to a viral photo, the lie begins ā one of fake love, media pressure and careful smiles. All while grief and guilt simmers beneath the surface for both of you.
pairing: actor!enhypen jay x reader
Genres: actor AU, (childhood) enemies to lovers, best friendās older brother, faking dating, slow burn
Warnings: grief and loss, mental health struggles, mentions of depression-like symptoms, relationship issues
Word count estimation: ~ 15k
a/n: ahhh i cant wait to share with you a piece of my mind, i have been working on it since forever. this was purely for me, but then i decided to share it. i wont be working on anything else besides this... so i hope this teaser would explain the lack of fics during this time. pls do take the warnings seriously, the last i want to do is to trigger someone. take care <3
Taglist: @heestoleurgirl @stariekis @jaehoodies @morganaawriterr @luvashli@kireistrawberryjayla @annovaz @bambieheeseunglee @firstclassjaylee @flowerwinds @veilstqr @hoonslvr @cunty4hee @hazelira @sumsumtingz @bxcndd @sunnygirl-kait @amazzwon @hoonieyun @yeokii @stercul1a @ikeulove @kikidoul @k1ttyjwon @sumzysworld @deluluscenarios @sofiafromvenus @fancypeacepersona @donttellmymomlol20 @fruitchill (comment if you want me to add / remove you from the list <3)
SYNOPSIS āŗ In a world where vampires and humans coexist, Dracula defies tradition by marrying a mortal ā his human lover from long ago. From their union, you are born, but despite your fatherās powerful bloodline, you arrive in this world as a human. Or so it seems. A prophecy reveals that one bite could awaken a strength to rival Draculaās own. On your twentieth birthday, your father hosts a grand two-week event to find the perfect suitor who will shape the future of the vampire world. Among the contenders are Sunghoon, Jay, and Jake ā three powerful and captivating men chosen to fight for your hand. But with power, love, and destiny at stake, the question remains ā who will you choose? And what will you become?
AUTHOR'S NOTE āŗ ITS FINALLY HERE OH MY GOD!!! I like this story so so so so much you guys have no idea! I've been planning it for weeks, writing plot ideas and making notes. I hope you guys enjoy this first chapter, and I promise the next ones will only get better! Likes and reblogs are always appreciated. Thank you so much! There's a catch about this story! Every week you guys will vote for the boy you liked more in each chapter and the most voted one will be the reader's choice in the story! Masterlist
The light filtering through the tall windows was a blend of pale grays, casting a soft, diffused glow over your serene bedroom. You sat on a wooden chair in front of your vanity, anxiously brushing your long hair with a soft hairbrush. Your gaze shifted from your hair to your reflection in the oval mirror atop the table. Your expression was serious, lips pressed into a thin line.
Your anxious heartbeat was unmistakably loud, and echoing within the vast space, reverberating off the stone walls. You couldnāt help itāyour destiny rested in your own hands. Just thinking about it made your stomach churn, nervousness spreading through your body like a deadly plague. Your fingertips trembled slightly as you set down the hairbrush, your eyes scrutinizing your dress once more.
A soft knock on the heavy wooden door made your head snap up, your gaze darting toward the entrance. āCan I come in?ā You recognized your motherās voice.
āYes,ā you replied softly.
She entered the room with a warm smile on her crimson lips, her lustrous brown hair swaying with every movement. The sound of her heels clicking against the floor grew louder as she approached. Then she stopped, standing before you.
āAre you okay, darling?ā your mother asked, bending down to meet your eyes. The anxiety on your face was prominent, and as a mother, she wished she could erase it with a mere snap of her fingers.
āYeah, I am,ā you whispered, knowing full well it wasnāt true. But you didnāt want to worry her, understanding that this wasnāt easy for her either.
A heavy silence settled in the room once again, and the muted light from outside perfectly mirrored your emotions. You didnāt mind the lack of sunshine; in fact, you preferred it. The sun was often overbearing, making you sweat and feel uncomfortably warmāa sensation you despised.
Your dark eyes avoided your motherās, instead drifting to the cloudy sky outside. Its somber hue offered a sense of familiarity you craved deeply. But she didnāt let you retreat into your thoughts for long. Her warm hand reached for yours, gently pulling you to your feet as her attentive eyes admired the dark dress you wore.
The dress was sleek and long, black with a corset inspired by bat wings, pointy at the neckline. Under it, you wore a flowing, silky shirt adorned with intricate handmade details at the wrists. Around your neck rested a heavy choker, also black and embellished with obsidian stones. Silver rings adorned your fingers, their weight and black accents complementing your elongated, crimson nails.
āYou look stunning,ā your mother complimented, her hand brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. Her long, pointed nails grazed your skin lightly, sending a faint tickle through you.
āThanks, Mom. Do you think theyāll like it?ā The question felt petty, but insecurity wasnāt something you often battled.
Today, however, was different. It was the first time youād meet the three candidates your father had chosen for you, and you wanted to make a memorable first impression.
āIām certain they will, darling,ā she assured you with a tender smile, her white teeth gleaming. You loved that she remained human, just like you. āWe should go; everyone is waiting outside.ā
With that, she stepped away and headed for the door. āIāll go first. You have two minutes.ā And just like that, she exited, closing the door behind her.
You took one last look at your reflection, ensuring your dark eye makeup was still flawless. Youād created a sharp winged eyeliner over a shimmering smoky eye, then lined your waterline with black to accentuate your nearly obsidian irises.
You reapplied your burgundy lip gloss, pressed your lips together, and took a deep breath before stepping out of your sanctuary, feeling the comforting aura of your room fade away. The stone corridors seemed shorter than usual as you walked through them, the sound of your thin heels echoing with each step. Your eyes wandered over the towering walls and windows, their corners adorned with delicate details. This castle was undoubtedly your favorite of the three your father owned.
When you opened the door to step outside, you were met with more people than youād anticipated, all dressed elegantly and sipping from tall glasses. Every eye turned to you as the door creaked shut. Yet, their gazes didnāt feel judgmental or oppressiveājust observant. You tried to ignore them as you descended the final staircase leading to the garden.
āOh, YN, there you are! I was looking for you,ā your father, Dracula, called as you approached.
āIām here, Father,ā you replied with a small smile, your eyes meeting his. But you couldnāt help stealing a quick glance at the vampires standing beside him.
A familiar face immediately brought a smile to your lips, his presence easing the tension that had gripped you.
āI wanted to introduce you to the gentlemen before the official announcement,ā your father said, gesturing with a flourish of his dark red cape. āThis isāā
āJake!ā you exclaimed, your eyes widening in disbelief as they locked onto your best friend. He opened his arms, inviting you into a hug, and you stepped forward, embracing him warmly.
āThatās the surprise I was planning!ā your father added, a smile playing on his lips as he watched your expression transform at the sight of Jake.
āSurprise!ā Jake joked, flashing one of his charming smiles. His brown hair had grown considerably, now falling just below his eyes.
You turned to your father, a teasing tone in your voice. āYou didnāt choose him just because heās my best friend, right?ā
āOf course not. He was one of the top candidates, alongside these two,ā Dracula explained, gesturing to the other two tall vampires standing nearby.
To your dismay, you immediately recognized one of them. His teasing smirk was all too familiar.
āJayā¦ā you muttered, rolling your eyes as he flashed you his signature grin. You wanted to roll your eyes again, but you couldnāt help the corners of your lips curling up at his striking features.
āMy lady,ā Jongseong bowed, his platinum hair catching the muted light of the overcast sky.
āYou two know each other?ā your father asked, raising an eyebrow.
āUnfortunately,ā you replied with a feigned smile, hating the smug look on Jayās face.
āUnfortunately?ā he interjected. āIām honored to know you, and I donāt regret a single thing Iāve done,ā Jay teased, but you simply rolled your eyes again and turned your attention to the quiet vampire in the middle.
His piercing blue eyes met yours, sending a shiver down your spine. Unable to hold his gaze, you looked back at Dracula.
āThis gentleman is Sunghoon, from the North,ā your father introduced.
āMy queen,ā Sunghoon bowed, his deep voice strangely familiar.
He fell silent after his greeting, but his eyes never left you. You could feel them even when you werenāt looking at him, burning into your very being. Your father observed the interaction closely, taking mental notes and watching for any signs of discomfort on your face.
āItās time to make the announcement. Letās go,ā Dracula declared, reaching out to hold your warm hand as he stood by your side. Together, you walked toward the small podium where the news would be revealed to the world.
Behind you, the three vampire men followed in silence, equally aware of the eyes fixed on them. After all, they were the best among thousands, chosen for the chance to win your heartāDraculaās only daughter. They could all detect the scent of your blood from a distance; its aroma is uniquely human. It was still hard to believe you were entirely human. Your father was the most fearsome and powerful vampire alive, yet your motherās human genes had prevailed over his.
Even you had struggled to accept it. When you first realized you werenāt like those around you, you despised yourself. You detested your human fragility and the vulnerability of your body. You hated being different. Though your childhood memories were hazy, everything intensified during puberty. The bullying became unbearable, the hormones of adolescence ran wild, and everyone seemed to grow crueler.
Now, as an adult, youāve come to terms with your humanity and even learned to cherish it. It was a gift from your mother, and you could never hate her. Part of your self-acceptance came from the unwavering support of your parents and Jake. He had always been there for you, listening as you poured out your feelings and cried until you had no tears left. He never judged you. Instead, he held you close, ensuring you felt understood and loved.
Your thoughts quieted as you stood at the podium with your father and mother beside you, gazing at the crowd of subordinates who seemed eager to learn more about the three men who had passed every test. You glanced at them briefly, noting how they stood tall and composed, exuding a powerful aura. Sunghoon was the tallest, but Jakeās broad shoulders made him appear the strongest. Jay, as usual, wore a flirtatious smile, his fangs just visible, and he seemed relaxed despite the gravity of the occasion.
āWe are gathered here today in my castle to announce the official start of the two-week event to find the most suitable vampire for my daughter, now that she has reached the age of twenty,ā Dracula began, his voice deliberate and commanding. āAs you all know, I defined tradition by marrying a human, and so my daughter was born. YN Dracula possesses unique blood. Though fully human, she has the potential to become the only being strong enough to rival me with just a single bite. Her value is immeasurableānot only as my firstborn and the future heir to my throne, but also as the one who could become the most powerful vampire in existence.ā He paused, allowing his words to resonate. āAfter countless combats and rigorous tests, the three strongest and most intelligent vampires have been chosen for the chance to win my daughterās heart. These gentlemen will face three final trials, and the victor of each will earn the opportunity to spend time alone with the princess, striving to win her affection. Ultimately, the final decision will be hers.ā
You nodded as your father outlined the rules, his deep voice carrying across the vast green fields as the crowd watched intently. You hadnāt been entirely fond of his decision to structure the process so formally. Youād wanted something simpler, more naturalālike the love story between him and your mother. But he had explained the weight of your role in this world and the responsibilities you carried, and so you reluctantly agreed.
When Dracula mentioned your name, all eyes shifted to you. Your heart raced, pounding against your ribcage as if trying to escape, unaccustomed to such intense scrutiny.
āThe three vampires are: Park Sunghoon from the North; Sim Jake, son of the Elder vampire; and Park Jay, the only son of our armory supplier and king of the East,ā your father announced, gesturing for the vampires to step forward and bow to the crowd.
The audience erupted into applause, the sound overwhelming even your fatherās commanding voice. They were thrilled to witness the unfolding of this grand event. You were their beloved princess, admired across all kingdoms for your grace, beauty, and intellect.
Your mother stepped forward, smiling warmly at the crowd before turning to glance at you.
āIām confident our daughter will make the right choice, especially since all three men seem well-suited for the role of a worthy king. So, without further delay, let the trials begin! Tomorrow, the first test will be announced. May the one who makes her feel safe and secure emerge victorious!ā As she concluded, the crowd broke into applause once more.
You turned to your parents, who smiled at you reassuringly. As your father wrapped your mother in a tight embrace, you joined them, craving the comfort of their hug to soothe your nerves. Your mother cupped your jaw as you pulled away, her eyes brimming with pride and joy. You returned her smile and soon felt your fatherās lips press a gentle kiss to your forehead. Their love, as always, succeeded in calming your restless heart.
An hour had passed since your mother announced the official start of the event, and youād spent it greeting familiar faces and politely bowing to everyone who caught your eye. You desperately craved a glass of the wine everyone else seemed to be enjoying, but you could barely move an inch before someone reached for your hand and struck up a conversation.
āOh, itās such a shame my son came in fourth place; you wouldāve adored him!ā an older woman remarked, her cold skin sending goosebumps across yours as she clasped your hand. āHe loves wearing black too, and heās so stylish and strong. He just couldnāt beat these three because theyāre much older and more experienced, you know.ā
You offered her a kind smile. āI understand. Itās truly a shame. Iād love to meet him somedayāā
āCan you believe it? Sheās my future princess, and I havenāt even had a chance to speak with her yet.ā A familiar voice chimed in beside you, his arm slipping around your waist.
You turned your head to see Jay smiling at the woman, his grip on you almost possessive.
āMind if I steal her away?ā he asked with a smirk, glancing at you briefly. It was enough to notice the forced smile on your face.
āOh, of course! Go ahead, Iām sorry for keeping her so long!ā the woman joked kindly, winking at you before she walked away, eliciting a soft giggle from you.
You waited until she was out of sight before yanking his arm away. āWho said you could touch me?ā you snapped, irritation clear in your voice.
āThat dumbass Jake did,ā Jay retorted, raising an eyebrow as he stepped in front of you.
āYeah, that dumbass is my best friend. Heās allowed to touch me,ā you shot back, the urge to slap him growing stronger. But you knew better. Everyone was watching, and you had a reputation to uphold, so instead, you started walking toward the wine table.
āThatās not fair. If heās already close to you, youāll just choose him,ā Jay insisted, trailing behind you.
You stopped abruptly, shooting him a look of disapproval. āThat doesnāt mean anything,ā you said curtly before continuing your mission.
As you reached for the last glass of wine, a hand from behind you snatched it away. You closed your eyes, took a deep breath, and turned around to find Jay smiling at you once again.
āLooking for this?ā he teased, waving the glass in front of your face before holding it high above his head, out of your reach.
āGive me that!ā you demanded through gritted teeth, your blood boiling.
āThen tell me how itās fair that you already know and like Jakeā¦ā Jay pressed, leaning closer until his face was level with yours.
His warm breath brushed against your parted lips, sending a shiver through your body. His cologne was intoxicating, and though youād never admit it, Jay looked undeniably handsome. His platinum hair swept back to reveal his forehead, his red suit exposing just enough of his chest, and the silver necklaces dangling near your face only added to his allure.
You bit your lip to suppress a smile as a plan formed in your mind.
āI donāt owe you an explanation. Now, give me the glass! I deserve it!ā you protested, furrowing your brows and glaring at him.
āNo explanation, no wineāā Jay began, but you cut him off.
āThereās nothing to explain. Heās just my best friend,ā you said simply, knowing full well heād twist your words. Just as you expected.
He was as easy to read as an open book, fortunately for you.
āWait, so youāre telling me you friend-zoned him?ā Jay blurted out, stunned. His mouth hung open, and his arms dropped slightly. Seizing the opportunity, you snatched the glass from his hand, proud of your successful distraction.
āItās not like that,ā you replied without looking at him, busy filling your glass and hiding a sly smile.
āOh, thatās fantastic news!ā Jay exclaimed, his voice louder than necessary. You turned, resting the rim of the glass against your lips, your eyes locked on his as you took a slow sip.
Jongseong watched intently, admiring the subtle movement of your throat as you swallowed. He had always thought you were the most beautiful woman heād ever seen, but you managed to surpass his expectations every time. The way the corset hugged your figure and the heavy choker accentuated your neck drove him to the edge of madness.
āThat doesnāt mean anything, Jay. I still hate you,ā you said, your voice low and sultry. Before he could respond, you pushed him aside and walked away.
You could feel Jayās gaze lingering on you as you disappeared into the crowd, but you maintained your composure. Meanwhile, Jay leaned against the table, a self-satisfied smile playing on his lips. He knew his behavior wasnāt exactly proper and that you had every right to dislike him, but his intentions werenāt malicious. He was confident in his charm and certain youād change your opinion of him soon enough.
As you moved further into the crowd, your body began sending signals that you needed a moment alone to recharge. Your throat tightened, and your palms grew sweaty. Keeping one eye on your parents to ensure they didnāt notice, you slipped away from the gathering.
You take a deep breath, finish the last sip of wine, and leave the glass behind as you venture further from the crowd, stepping into the serene garden at the back of the castle. The stillness envelops you, instantly easing the tension in your body. Your shoulders relax, no longer feeling stiff. Under the gray sky, you pause to admire the vast green fields stretching endlessly around the castle. Without hesitation, you bend down, slip off your heels, and step onto the grass.
The coolness of the grass sends a pleasant shiver through your body, further calming your nerves. You leave your heels on the stone path and walk in the opposite direction, letting them behind. The breeze brushes against your warm face and tousles your long hair, making it dance in the wind. A smile spreads across your lips, savoring the sense of freedom it brings.
Youāre not sure how much time has passed, but the castle looks majestic surrounded by the empty fields. Eventually, you find yourself sitting on the ground, gazing at it in awe. Itās hard to believe youāre already twenty; the last four years flew by in a blur. You let yourself fall back onto the grass, closing your eyes and soaking in the tranquility of nature.
Everything is peaceful until you sense someone approaching. Soon, their shadow falls over you. You keep your eyes shut, waiting for a clue to identify your visitor. His familiar chuckle gives him away, and you canāt help but smile.
āWere you following me, Jakey?ā you tease, opening your eyes to see your best friend.
Jake grins and sits beside you, your heels in his hands. āI wasnāt following you... exactly,ā he tries to explain, but bursts into laughter as you give him a skeptical look. āI saw your heels in the garden, and when I looked further, I spotted you walking through the fields. Your dress and hair swaying in the wind.ā
āOh, so you did follow me,ā you say with a playful smirk.
āYeah⦠I guess I did,ā Jake admits, flashing you that adorable smile of his.
You notice how his gaze softens as he looks at you, and your heart skips a beat.Ā You break eye contact and lay your head back on the grass. Jake follows suit, lying on his side to face you.
āDid it weird you out that I applied to be your future husband?ā your best friend asks, his eyes lingering on your face.
You turn to face him. āNot weird. Just surprising⦠I thought we were just best friends.ā As soon as the words leave your mouth, you notice his smile falter slightly, though he quickly masks it with an even brighter one.
āI mean, Iām still your best friend,ā he reassures you. āI just thought it would be an honor to stand by your side and rule with you forever,ā Jake adds.
His words carry an unexpected weight, a raw and honest confession. You sit up, facing him directly. Though vampires canāt blush, you can tell heās shy, his hazel eyes avoiding yours. You reach out and tuck a strand of his hair behind his ear, hoping to comfort him.
Jake finally meets your gaze, his eyes heavy with an emotion he canāt quite name. It feels like the air has been sucked from your lungs, leaving you breathless. His presence feels suddenly overwhelming, his breath close to your lips and his hands resting delicately on your lap.
āIād love to have you rule by my side,ā you whisper, your chest tight. āBut to do that, youāll have to win all the tests!ā you tease, trying to lighten the heavy atmosphere that has settled between you.
Jake laughs and turns his head away, embarrassed by your sudden playfulness. āI canāt promise thatāthe other two are really good,ā he admits with a boyish grin, his fangs peeking out. āBut I can promise to be the best partner if you do choose me.ā His warm brown eyes lock onto yours, as if sealing his vow.
You want to respond, but the words catch in your throat. Jake notices heās caught you off guard and gives you a gentle nudge.
āDonāt act all weird now,ā he complains with a pout.
āI wonāt. Thatās my promise,ā you reply with a smile, letting your head rest on his shoulder as your gaze returns to the castle.
The silence between you grows, but itās comfortableāno more words are needed. Your breathing slows, and you notice Jakeās does too.
āWe should head back. They might be looking for us,ā Jake suggests, breaking the quiet.
You donāt respond verbally, simply nodding and standing up. You wait for him to do the same, then begin walking back toward the garden, Jake trailing behind with your heels still in hand. All too soon, the garden comes into view.
You take a deep breath and wait for Jake to return your heels. He sets them down on the stone path, and you carefully slip them on, brushing the grass from your socks. Together, you walk silently back toward the gathering, and to your surprise, many of the guests have already left.
āOh, Jake, Iāve been looking for youāā your father says excitedly, stepping aside to reveal Jakeās father. āYou have a visitor!ā
You bow politely to the man and step away, leaving your best friend with his dad. Despite the quiet moments with Jake, you feel the need to be alone once more. From a distance, you spot your mother speaking with a few people and decide to walk to her.
āMom, Iām heading inside. Iāll be in the painting room if you need me,ā you murmur softly, close to her ear, feeling the weight of peopleās gaze on you.
āOkay, darling. Take care,ā she reassures you, her lips curving into a gentle smile. You bow politely to the others and make your way back into the castle, craving a warm cup of tea and the solace of painting.
And thatās exactly what you do. You slip off your heels once more and quietly tiptoe into the expansive, rustic kitchen. After a quick glance to ensure no one is around, you head straight for the tea jars. Your fingers glide over the glass containers before stopping at the hibiscus flowers.
You scoop some into your hand and drop them into a large cup. To your surprise, water is already boiling over the fire, so you pour it over the flowers. Watching the water turn a deep crimson, you wait a few minutes before filtering the tea and carrying it to your painting room.
The familiar space brings a smile to your face, your body relaxing once again. You step inside quietly, greeted by the strong scent of drying paint, your favorite. You walk to the tall, stained-glass windows and push open the curtains, allowing the faint light outside to cast colorful shadows across the room. Slowly, you bend down, remove your stained socks, and then undo the corset, leaving you in just the long skirts and the flowing white blouse.
āAh⦠this feels nice,ā you murmur to yourself, feeling the tension in your chest ease.
Humming softly, you reach for the paints and brushes, then settle onto the tall chair in front of the unfinished canvas. The girlās incomplete face stares back at you. You let your creativity flow, painting with slow, deliberate strokes. Occasionally, you reach for the warm tea, savoring its bitter flavor.
Youāre not sure how much time has passed, but the paint on your pallet is beginning to dry. You yawn and rise from the chair, reaching for more paint before the current batch dries completely. But youāre startled by the sight of a tall figure leaning against the doorframe.
His blue eyes are soft yet intense, and he appears calm and composed. āSorry, I didnāt mean to startle you. I was passing by and couldnāt resist peeking in,ā Sunghoon explains, running his fingers through his hair.
āItās okay. After all, youāre the only one I havenāt spoken to today,ā you reply, gesturing for him to step inside.
Sunghoon moves slowly, his eyes scanning the room, utterly captivated by the beauty of your artwork.
āYou made these yourself?ā he asks, his voice deep and smooth.
āYes, Iāve been painting since I was a child,ā you explain, smiling warmly, pleased that he seems to appreciate your creations.
āI remember thatā¦ā Sunghoon murmurs, more to himself, but you catch it, and confusion flickers across your face.
āWhat?ā you ask, eyeing him curiously.
āOh, noāI mean, it just feels familiar,ā he stammers, his voice faltering. But youāre too tired to press further, so you let it go.
Sunghoonās gaze lingers on you longer than usual, his eyes tracing your nose and cheeks as if committing every detail to memory. What you donāt realize is that heās struggling to contain his joy at finally seeing you again, realizing how little youāve changed. His intense stare makes your cheeks flush, unaccustomed to such attention.
āDo you have something to say?ā you ask, hoping to break his focus. It works, and his eyes shift from you to the canvas.
āNot really,ā Sunghoon dismisses. āI just wanted to watch you paint. I know you probably prefer peace and quiet while you work, so Iāll just sit here and observe. If you donāt mind, of course, my queen.ā
A giggle escapes your lips, and you roll your eyes. āIām not a queen yet.ā
āYou will be.ā
After his words, your eyes meet briefly, and you quickly look away, laughing softly as your cheeks grow warmer under his piercing blue gaze. Sunghoon seems to notice and moves to the back of the room, settling onto the small sofa. His presence behind you makes it easier to focus on your painting.
A comfortable silence fills the room, broken only by the sound of brushstrokes and your steady breathing. As night falls and the room grows darker, Sunghoon stands and lights the candles in the corners, restoring warmth to the space.
Then he approaches you quietly, standing just behind your chair. His presence is unmistakable, and your heart rate quickens. Heās the same height as you while youāre seated, and suddenly, his breath is close to your face, fanning over your ear and cheek.
āIt looks mesmerizing,ā Sunghoon compliments, his voice low and dangerously close.
You swallow nervously and lean back slightly to turn and face him. āThank you,ā you reply, so close that youāre sure he can feel your breath against his lips.
āI thinkāā Your eyes lock with his again, those deep blue irises seeming to peer into your soul. āI think Iām done for today,ā you finish, your chest tightening as you struggle to breathe.
āGood, itās late. I was going to suggest you take a break and rest,ā Sunghoon says, stepping back and extending his hand to help you down from the chair.
Your warm fingers gently grasp his cold ones, and you slowly step down, your feet meeting the hard floor.
āAre you always this warm?ā he asks, pressing your hand to his freezing cheek, savoring the comfort it brings.
You stand there, speechless, your heart pounding as if it might burst. Sunghoon looks at you, waiting for an answer, but all he finds are your flushed cheeks and wide eyes, stunned by his boldness.
Embarrassed, you pull your hand from his grip and quickly gather your things, desperate to leave the room and find fresh air to calm your racing heart.
āWait, YNāā he begins.
āIāll see you tomorrow. Good night,ā you say hurriedly, stumbling over your words as you step out of the painting room and slam the door shut.
As the moon glows brightly in the vast, dark sky, you sigh and lean back against the edge of the tub, your eyes closed as your mind races. After spending time with the three men today, you thought it would make your decision easier, but it feels like thereās still so much uncertainty ahead.
Your mind replays fragments of your life as you sit motionless. You see yourself as a child, carefree and blissfully unaware of what was to come. Then, the memories shift to the bullying you endured for your rosy cheeks and warm skin, as if it were a sin. Even now, the sting of judgment lingers in your heart during moments of vulnerability, and you despise it. But just when you felt utterly alone, Jake entered your life, showing you the beauty of being mortal and warm, of having blood coursing through your veins. That was when your fear faded, and you began to embrace who you are, finding solace in painting.
You can still vividly recall the night Jay saved your life and how the very next day he mocked you for what he called your āweak human body.ā Though heās since grown and apologized, the memory still haunts you whenever you see him.
Then thereās Sunghoon, who stirs an odd sense of nostalgia and familiarity you canāt quite place. Itās as if heās an old friend, someone who has known you forever, yet you have no memory of meeting him. The fact that he lives in the north only adds to the confusion. He couldnāt have crossed paths with you, given how far away he resides.
You notice the bathwater is beginning to cool, but the thought of calling a maid and having to engage in conversation makes you decide to endure it. You open your eyes and shift in the water, turning your face toward the window to admire the full moon in all its glory.
Sunghoon is the first to occupy your thoughts once again, having been the last one you spent time with. Your mind replays his actions in vivid detailāhis long, cold fingers holding your warm hand against his cheek. You can still picture his closed eyes, slightly parted lips, and serene expression. The moles scattered across his face like a painting only add to his allure.
Then, Jake pushes Sunghoon away from your mind, his endearing smile and familiar warmth making your heart skip a beat. You know Jake is sincere with his words, and that makes his promise feel all the more genuine. His brown hair has grown longer, framing his face perfectly and enhancing his already striking features just the way you like.
Against your will, Jay soon enters your thoughts too. His confident smirk, his intoxicating cologne, and his confident demeanor are infuriatingly tempting. Youāre certain you hate himāhis reckless behavior, his sharp tongue, and the trail of rumors about girls and trouble that seem to follow him everywhere. Yet, thereās no denying his attractiveness and undeniable talent.
You roll your eyes and pout, your head beginning to ache from the relentless thinking and the weight of the decision looming over you. But you know this is only the beginning, and the choice will only grow more difficult as time passes.
The water has turned completely cold now, raising goosebumps on your skin. You close your eyes, slide deeper into the tub, and submerge yourself entirely. The chill of the water soothes your headache almost instantly. You remain still for a few moments, the silence beneath the surface bringing you a fleeting sense of peace.
Important Note; There's a catch about this story! Every week you guys will vote for the boy you liked more in each chapter and the most voted one will be the reader's choice in the story! It starts, today! So, read this post and vote on your favorite boy based on this intro!
BOUND BY BLOOD AND VENGEANCE ĖąØą§āļ½”Ė ā l.hs
ć In the kingdom of Aethera, the shadows whisper tales of revenge, betrayal, and forbidden magic. A cunning witch with a flair for deception, has spent years honing her craft for one purpose: avenging her parentsā deaths at the hands of the King. Disguised as a visiting princess from a distant realm, She charms her way into the castle, weaving lies and illusions to mask her true intentāmurdering the king. Her plan is flawless, or so she believes, until she crosses paths with Heeseung, the brooding captain of the royal guard. Tasked with protecting the "princess," Heeseung finds her insufferable, too sharp-tongued and confident for his liking. But as theyāre forced to spend time together, her wit begins to spark something deeper in him, despite his better judgment.
š¤š¢š«šÆš¢ Ā» smut Ā» fantasy Ā» forbidden romance Ā» angst
warnings Ā» smut, oral fem rec, angst, gore, death, murder, dark themes, dark magic, mcd, angst, parental death, 1500s royal ideologies (not entirely accurate), blood, graphic depiction of some death scenes, mainly in reader's pov second person "You" but some scenes in Heeseung's pov, longing, lots of longing.
ONCE UPON A TIME⦠In a land far far away, where the treetops touched the soft clouds of the sky, and the water sparkled under the glowing sun. Where mountains rose high and in which long, deep caves ran. Where the sea met shore in a collision of tall waves. Where the undead walked among the living. Where the winged flew above the finned. In a land where things beyond any reason and rhyme existed. And amongst those very beings, within the veils of Aethera, there wasā¦Ā
Prologue.Ā
The midnight sky hangs heavy over the sprawling coven hall, its black-stone spires clawing at the heavens like skeletal fingers. The air inside is thick with incense and whispered spells, a choking blend of power and menace. You stand hidden among the crowd of robed witches, your heart hammering as your aunt, Mira, ascends the obsidian dais at the center of the room. Mira moves with the precision of a predator, her sharp features twisted into a mask of triumph. Her voice rings clear, cutting through the murmurs of the assembly like the slash of a blade. "Let it be known," Mira declares, her tone dripping with venom, "that my sister, Esme, was a fool. Her lust for power led her to defy the councilāto act alone, recklessly, against the king. And now, she is dead."
The word strikes you like a physical blow. Dead. The room blurs as tears sting your eyes, but you refuse to blink them away. You can still picture your motherās fiery gaze, her defiant smile. Gone? It doesnāt seem real. Miraās voice rises, commanding the attention of every soul present. "Esmeās actions have left a stain upon this coven, a mark of disgrace that threatens to unravel all we have worked for. The council must act wisely to ensure our survival. As her successor, I motion that we abandon this foolish vendetta against the royal family. Let the king and his ilk live." A wave of murmurs ripples through the hall. Your fists clench at your sides as you listen to the witchesā agreement. Your aunt, the woman who had coldly informed you of your parentsā deaths only hours before, now calls your mother power-hungry and selfish.Ā
"My sister sought glory and brought ruin upon herself," Mira continues, her lips curling into a cruel smile. "Let her fate serve as a warning to those who would seek to defy this council." The crowd erupts in murmured assent, some nodding gravely, others casting wary glances at one another. You shrink further into the shadows, your nails digging into your palms until crescent moons of pain etch into your skin. Your mother wasnāt power-hungry. She wasnāt selfish. She had been brave, determined to rid the world of the tyrant king who had oppressed your kind for decades. How dare Mira speak ill upon her only hours after her death. The councilās seal burns bright upon Miraās palm as she raises her hand, swearing her oath to uphold the covenās decisions. The crowd roars its approval, but your ears ring with the sound of your own heartbeat. You watch your aunt with burning eyes, feeling the injustice of it all sear into your very soul.Ā
They are cowards, every last one of them. But not you. You wonāt let your motherās death be in vain. You step back into the shadows, your heart a furnace of grief and fury. One day, you vow, you will finish what your mother started. You will avenge your parents and bring the king to his kneesāeven if it means standing against the coven itself. As the council hall fills with chants and the rustle of robes, you slip away, unseen. Your path is set, your purpose clear. The kingās days are numbered, and you will stop at nothing to see justice served.Ā
The cold night air bites at your cheeks as you sneak through the hidden tunnels beneath the coven hall. Every step echoes in the silence, but youāre too determined to let fear stop you now. The moonlight above guides your way as you slip out into the open, the dark forest swallowing you whole. Youāve heard whispers in the covenārumors of a royal procession. The king is welcoming a princess from a neighboring kingdom to learn the traditions and history of Athera. The thought is your first glimmer of a plan. If you can reach the castle, you can get close to the king. And if you can get close to the king, you can kill him.
The journey to the village square is long, but youāre light on your feet, moving through the shadows like a wraith. When you arrive, your pulse quickens at the sight of the royal carriage docked outside the saloon. Its intricate gold detailing gleams in the torchlight, and the sound of boisterous laughter drifts from inside as the guards enjoy their meal and drinks. You approach cautiously, your heart pounding. The guards are distracted, but you canāt afford any mistakes. Muttering a quiet incantation under your breath, you weave a charm spell, your words wrapping around the nearest guard like a silken thread. His expression slackens, and he gestures for you to pass, oblivious to the danger. What a punk. So easily taken down, is the king so stupid as to not have his guards under protection that wavers spells. Amateur. You scoffed at your hatred for him.Ā
The carriage door creaks softly as you open it. Inside, the princess sits on a plush seat, her gown shimmering like moonlight. Her eyes widen in alarm when she sees you. Her blonde hair bright under the minimal light seeping through the closed curtains of the carriage. Her chest heaved at the sight of you, clearly frightened. Just how you liked it. A scared little privileged girl who had not even the slightest idea of how cruel the real world is. Growing up with a king for a father and a queen for a mother, spoon fed with a gilded spoon. You tsked at the thought. It made your next move all that easier to accomplish. "Who are you?" she demands, her voice trembling. "Guards!"
Before she can scream again, you lunge forward, your dagger flashing in the dim light. Sinking the knife into the side of her chest without so much as another protest. The struggle is brief, her cries fading into silence. You catch your breath, staring at her lifeless form. Thereās no time for hesitation. Stripping her gown, you exchange your rough clothes for her regal attire, pulling the hood of her cloak low over your face. With practiced efficiency, you shove her body to the far side of the carriage. Youāll deal with it soon enough. Moments later, the guards return, oblivious to the change. The carriage lurches forward, and you wait until the village lights are distant before opening the door and pushing her lifeless form out into the night. You had no regrets. None. This is what needs to be done, for your parents. The world is now rid of one less pretty princess who had lived and loved ten times more than you ever had. You fought a smirk from gracing your lips, pure evil instincts kicking in.Ā
The muffled thud of her body hitting the ground is followed by distant shouts of alarm. You donāt look back. The screams of the villagers grow fainter as the carriage speeds toward the castle, carrying you closer to your destiny. You sit back against the cushioned seat, your fingers tightening around the dagger hidden beneath your cloak. Soon, the king will pay for everything. For taking your parents far too early. For being an arrogant, no good tyrant. You couldn't wait to spill his blood. You were actually giddy. The towering gates of the castle loom before you, their iron bars glinting in the moonlight. The carriage comes to a halt, and the driver announces your arrival with a booming voice. You steady your breathing, keeping your head bowed as the door opens. A pair of guards escort you inside, their armored boots clanking against the stone floor. The grand hall is a marvel of opulence. Chandeliers dripping with crystals cast a warm glow over gilded walls and intricate tapestries. Your eyes catch every detail, memorizing the layout as your heart pounds beneath the layers of the princessās gown.
The king and queen stand at the far end of the hall, their regal presence commanding the room. The kingās sharp eyes study you as you approach, his mouth curling into a welcoming smile. The queenās gaze is softer, but no less piercing. They are everything you expectedāand everything you loathe. Tall, graceful. As hard as stone. Your heart leaped in your chest but you would not allow the disease of anxiety to plague you. You were stronger than that. "Welcome to Athera," the king says, his voice rich and commanding. "We are honored to have you here." You forced a snarl down at his voice alone.Ā
So instead you curtsy deeply, keeping your expression demure. "Thank you, Your Majesties. It is an honor to be here."Ā
"You must be tired from your journey," the queen says, her voice as smooth as silk. "We have arranged for a nursemaid to attend to you. She will show you to your chambers and ensure you have everything you need."Ā
"You are most kind," you reply, forcing a polite smile. Your hands are steady, but the weight of the dagger hidden beneath your cloak reminds you of your true purpose. The king steps closer, his imposing frame towering over you. "We look forward to hearing about your homeland and sharing our traditions with you. Tonight, you will dine with us. It will be a chance to begin your education in the ways of Athera."Ā
"I would be delighted," you say, inclining your head. The thought of sitting across from him at the dinner table, so close yet unable to strike, makes your blood boil. But patience is a weapon, one you are learning to wield. Even if your hatred for him is at an all time high you must remind yourself of the ultimate goal here. Not only do you want to kill the king, you also wish to make him suffer, in the most unimaginable ways. You had never known how your parents died, or what the nature of it was but based on the horrifying stories told about the king's prisoners you could only assume the worst. You were dealing with pure evil, good thing you had been made straight from hell clawing at the cage of your soul to pull him down there with you. A maid appears at your side, bowing low before gesturing for you to follow. You allow her to lead you through the labyrinthine halls of the castle, your mind racing with possibilities. Each step brings you closer to the moment youāve dreamed of: the moment the king pays for his crimes. For now, you must play the part of the princess, but soon, the mask will come offāand the real game will begin.
The maid leads you to your chambers, a room so grand it feels like stepping into a dreamāor a trap. The ceiling arches high above, painted with scenes of celestial beauty, and the furnishings are fit for a queen: a massive canopy bed draped in silk, a polished mahogany desk, and a window seat overlooking the sprawling castle gardens. You fight to keep your expression neutral, though the opulence threatens to overwhelm you. "This will be your room during your stay," the maid says with a bow. "A bath has been prepared for you. Shall I assist you, or would you prefer privacy?" You had never had someone to dote on you, even when your mother was alive. You sure as hell wasnāt going to start now.Ā
You give her a small, dismissive wave. "I can manage for now. Thank you." She nods, retreating with a final bow. Once alone, you let out a breath, shedding the heavy cloak and feeling the weight of your dagger hidden in the folds of your stolen gown. The luxurious bath beckons, but you remain cautious, examining the room for anything amiss. When youāre satisfied that no prying eyes or hidden spells lurk, you strip off the dress and slip into the steaming water. The warmth eases the tension in your muscles, but your mind remains sharp, replaying every moment since you entered the castle. The kingās piercing gaze. The queenās soft, calculated smile. They seemed so at ease, so secure in their kingdom, but that security would be their downfall. When the water begins to cool, you step out and wrap yourself in a robe. A knock sounds at the door before the maid returns, this time with a tray of delicate bottles and brushes. You're especially jumpy. Learning to be extra cautious. You were in enemy territory completely undetected.Ā
"Iāve come to prepare you for dinner," she says, setting the items down. She moves with practiced efficiency, brushing and arranging your hair into an elaborate style that feels foreign on your head. Her hands are gentle, but the intrusion feels invasive, a reminder that every moment here is a performance. You could never be fully comfortable, fully relaxed. Not under the watchful eyes of the royals and all who serve them. "Do you like it?" she asks when sheās finished, holding up a gilded mirror.Ā
You glance at the reflection of a girl you barely recognizeāpoised, elegant, nothing like the witch who crouched in the shadows of the coven. "It will do," you say curtly, standing to allow her to help you into another dress. This one is finer than the last, adorned with jewels and embroidery that shimmer in the candlelight.Ā
When youāre finally ready, she steps back with a small smile. "You look lovely, Your Grace. The king and queen will be most pleased." You nod, hiding the dark satisfaction that simmers beneath your calm exterior. Let them be pleased. Let them believe I am harmless. A pair of guards and the nursemaid walk you to the dinning hall where your dinner will take place. The dining hall is a spectacle of wealth and grandeur. A long table stretches the length of the room, laden with golden plates and crystal goblets. Servants move like shadows, ensuring every detail is perfect. The king and queen rise as you enter, their smiles warm and inviting. "Ah, our honored guest," the king says, motioning for you to sit beside him. You glide to the seat, each step measured and deliberate.
"Thank you for this generous welcome," you say, your voice soft but steady. The king studies you as you begin to eat. His questions come slowly at firstāpolite inquiries about your homeland and upbringing. You answer carefully, spinning a web of half-truths and vague pleasantries.
"And what do you hope to learn during your time in Athera?" he asks, cutting into a piece of roasted meat.
You pause, as though considering your words. "Your Majesty, I wish to understand the traditions and history that make this land so revered. To gain the wisdom that only a kingdom as ancient as yours can provide." The queen smiles at this, but the king narrows his eyes slightly, as if testing the sincerity of your response. Before he can press further, he gestures to a man standing near the far wall.Ā
"This is Captain Lee Heeseung," the king says. "He is my most trusted guard and will oversee your safety during your stay." Heeseung steps forward, bowing slightly with an air of quiet authority. His dark eyes meet yours, and you sense heās already assessing you, searching for weaknesses.Ā
"An honor to serve, Your Grace," he says. His voice is steady, but thereās a spark of curiosity in his tone. You incline your head, feigning disinterest. "The honor is mine, Captain." The king seems satisfied with the exchange and continues speaking. But when you inquire about magic in the kingdom, his expression hardens. You ask of magical beings he has here, perhaps prying too far but you did not care much. Being here meant making sacrifices.Ā
"Magic is not a matter for you to concern yourself with," he says, his tone firm. "Your focus should be on diplomacy and tradition."Ā
Your lips tighten, but you force a smile. "Of course, Your Majesty. Forgive my curiosity." You bit back every harsh wish you could utter at him, biting your tongue almost to the point of bleeding. The conversation drifts to other topics, but your mind lingers on his dismissal. Magic is none of your concern. The words echo in your thoughts like a challenge, feeding the embers of your anger. Youāll prove him wrong. Youāll prove them all wrong. Magic was your entire being. It coursed through your veins at this very second. Born and bred a witch, the king didn't know the true first thing about what Magic truly was. Not unless the asshole possessed it himself, which he didn't. As far as you heard he did his bidding in the creatures he held captive in this very castle. He was a coward.Ā
The evening wears on, and when the meal concludes, the king rises to offer a toast. His words are full of pride and hope for the future, but you hear only arrogance. You lift your goblet, hiding your true thoughts behind a mask of gratitude. One day, this kingdom will bow to you. One day everyone will know of the Bloodborn witch who outsmarted and conquered the tyrant king. For now, you bide your time. Tonight, youāve taken your first step into the heart of Athera. Soon, the real work will begin.Ā
After dinner you're more than eager to get out of the confines of your room, you were just itching to scope out the castle and what it entailed. There was just one tiny problem. Your guard dog Heeseung was permitted to walk with you every step you took. The moon hangs high over the castle as you step out onto the garden path, the crisp night air brushing against your skin. The opulent gardens are a labyrinth of perfectly trimmed hedges, vibrant blooms, and marble fountains that glimmer under the silvery light. It should be peaceful, the perfect setting for you to gather your thoughts and refine your plan, but the sound of boots following closely behind shatters the illusion. "Is this truly necessary?" you ask, throwing a glance over your shoulder at Heeseung, who trails a few paces behind.Ā
"The king insisted," he replies, his tone clipped. He doesnāt bother to hide the annoyance in his expression as his dark eyes meet yours. "I donāt particularly enjoy babysitting, either."Ā
You huff, turning away from him and focusing on the path ahead. "I hardly need a babysitter."
"Then why am I here?" Heeseung mutters under his breath. You fought the urge to crack him over the head with a tight closed fist. You didn't need a low life guard treating you like some weak girl who couldn't hold her own head up. Fuck that.Ā
You shoot him a sharp look. One laced with venom, and ash laden tongue. "Because the king is clearly overprotective."Ā
"And because you're a guest," he counters, his voice edged with sarcasm. "Guests donāt wander around royal gardens unescorted, no matter how stubborn they are."Ā
You stop abruptly, forcing him to do the same. "Stubborn?" You crossed your arms over your chest, your nails digging into the skin of your arm to stop yourself from lashing out on him and doing something irreversible. Heeseung folds his arms across his chest, just like you had.Ā "Thatās one way to describe it. Most princesses would relish the chance to stroll under the stars with the captain of the guard. You seem more annoyed than honored."
"Honored?" You scoff, your eyes narrowing. "To be followed around like a child who canāt be trusted to think for herself? If thatās what you call honor, Iād rather not have it." Heeseungās brow arches, and for a moment, his irritation gives way to curiosity. "Youāre not like other princesses, are you?"Ā
"Perhaps thatās because Iām not as complacent as they are," you snap, taking another step forward. "Iāve seen enough of this world to know that women are treated like ornamentsādelicate, fragile things meant to be admired and controlled. Itās infuriating." His gaze sharpens, and a faint smirk tugs at the corner of his lips. "Strong words for someone dressed like a jeweled ornament herself." You let a low hiss leave your lips at your growing frustration.Ā
Your hands clench at your sides, but you hold your ground. "This gown doesnāt define me. And neither does your opinion." Heeseung chuckles dryly, though thereās a flicker of something else in his expressionārespect, perhaps, or maybe amusement. "Youāve got spirit, Iāll give you that. But spirit doesnāt mean much in a place like this." He was giving you some kind of rundown you hadn't asked for, treating you like an idiot.Ā
"And why is that?" you ask, your voice icy. Your body cold from the fury swirling in your veins. "Because this kingdom isnāt built on ideals. Itās built on power, control, and tradition." He steps closer, his tone dropping to something quieter but no less intense. "If you want to survive here, youād better learn to play by the rules."Ā
"I make my own rules," you reply, lifting your chin defiantly. Youād be cursing yourself for your behavior later, but now you couldn't help but let the spit fire fall from your lips. The tension between you crackles like lightning in the air, but neither of you looks away. Finally, Heeseung sighs and takes a step back, his expression hardening again. "Youāre going to make my job difficult, arenāt you?" he says, shaking his head.Ā
āYes.ā was all you responded with. And you'd give no other explanation to it. Heeseung probably wondered what kind of trivial trouble he faced ahead but he surely didn't know it was much more dangerous than that. This wasn't just some head strong princess fighting to stay somewhat afloat in a world akin to men. You were a bloodthirsty, wishfully avenging witch who would stop at nothing to see her enemy, the King, dead. He had not even an inclination of a clue. The silence stretches between you as you continue your walk, the gardenās beauty muted by the clash of wills. Heeseung doesnāt speak again, and youāre grateful for the reprieve. Every step solidifies your resolve, every glance at the castle walls a reminder of the kingdom youāve infiltrated. Heeseung might think he understands power and control, but he knows nothing of the storm brewing inside you. Let him underestimate you. Let them all underestimate you. Soon, theyāll realize the true extent of your willāand the price of underestimating it. When you finally return to your chambers, you glance back at Heeseung, who remains at the door, his expression unreadable.
"Goodnight, Captain," you say, your voice laced with the faintest hint of sarcasm. But also a bit of amusement.Ā
"Goodnight, Your Grace," he replies, his tone matching yours. As the door closes behind you, you canāt help but feel the night has been a small victory. Youāve made your first impression on the castleāand its people. And though Heeseung may prove to be an obstacle, heās also a challenge, one youāre determined to overcome. For now, you let your thoughts settle as you prepare for the days to come. The game has begun, and youāre ready to play it to win. The heavy oak door closes with a quiet thud behind you, sealing off the noise of the castle. Your chambers are grander than anything youāve ever knownārich velvet drapes, a bed large enough to drown in, and shelves lined with books whose gilded spines catch the flickering light of the fire. But none of it feels real. The luxury, the warmth, the illusion of safetyāitās all a lie.Ā
You slip out of the heavy gown, casting it aside as if shedding a skin that doesnāt belong to you. Your reflection in the ornate mirror catches your eye, and for a moment, you stare. The princessās face looks back at you, her delicate features framed by your freshly styled hair, but the defiance burning in your gaze is all your own. You turn away, pulling a well-worn leather satchel from beneath the bed. Its contents are simple but vital: a few personal belongings, a small book of spells, and a dagger youād hidden before anyone could search your things. The weight of the dagger is comforting as you place it on the bedside table, a silent reminder of your mission. The fire crackles softly as you settle onto the plush rug by the hearth, spreading a stack of books in front of you. Youāve managed to gather a modest collection about the castle, the royal family, and the kingdomās historyāenough to keep your mind occupied, or so you thought.Ā
Your fingers trace the faded ink of an old map of Athera, your lips silently forming the names of its towns and landmarks. But no matter how hard you try to focus, your thoughts keep drifting back to him. Heeseung. The way heād looked at you in the garden, his dark eyes sharp and unreadable, as if he could see through your every facade. The way heād dismissed you as stubborn and spoiled, as if you were no different from the pampered nobles heād sworn to protect. The way his words had challenged you, igniting a spark of defiance you couldnāt shake. You scowl, slamming the book shut with more force than necessary. "Infuriating," you mutter under your breath, as if saying it aloud will exorcise the thought of him from your mind. It doesnāt. Instead, you grab your spellbook, flipping through its pages with restless energy. The familiar symbols and incantations should be a comfort, but even your magic feels dull tonight. You murmur a spell to conjure a small orb of light, watching it hover in the air like a firefly, but the satisfaction is fleeting. The orb winks out, leaving you in the dim glow of the fire.Ā
Why does he bother you so much? Heās just another guard, another obstacle in a castle full of them. And yet, his words linger, needling at the edges of your thoughts. You hate the way he made you feelāchallenged, unsettled, seen. Shaking your head, you push the thought aside and return to the books. The king is what matters, not some arrogant captain of the guard. You remind yourself of the plan, of the vengeance that fuels you. Youāll learn everything you can about this castle, this kingdom, and the man who sits on its throne. Heeseung is nothing but a distraction, and distractions have no place in your mission. Still, as the fire dwindles to embers and the castle settles into silence, his voice echoes in your mind: āYouāve got spirit.āĀ
You grit your teeth, shoving the memory aside as you extinguish the lamp. Tomorrow will bring new challenges, and you canāt afford to let himāor anyone elseāget in your way. As you lay down, the shadows of the room seem to whisper promises of the chaos youāll bring to Athera. And yet, somewhere in the back of your mind, a quiet, infuriating thought remains: Heeseung may not be as easy to forget as youād hoped.Ā
-
The next morning arrives with the soft knock of your nursemaid, her presence dragging you from a restless sleep. The golden sunlight streaming through the tall windows feels almost mocking, a stark contrast to the cold determination that weighs heavy in your chest. You dress quickly, donning yet another gown far too frilly for your taste, and endure the nursemaidās fussing over your hair with forced patience. By the time you arrive at the study hall, youāre already in a foul mood. The room is grand, with floor-to-ceiling windows draped in fine silks and shelves brimming with ancient tomes. At the far end of the room, a frail man in scholarās robes stands by a chalkboard, his spectacles perched precariously on the tip of his nose. His presence is as unimposing as the droning voice that greets you. "Ah, Princess," he says, bowing stiffly. "We shall begin with a comprehensive overview of Atheraās founding and its noble lineage."Ā
You sigh inwardly, suppressing the urge to roll your eyes. As you take your seat at the front of the class, you catch movement out of the corner of your eyeāHeeseung, leaning against the wall near the door. His arms are crossed over his chest, his expression a mixture of boredom and irritation. Heās clearly as thrilled about this arrangement as you are. The scholar drones on, his voice a monotonous hum as he recites the kingdomās history. Something about treaties, alliances, and a war long past. You try to focus, but the words blur together, slipping through your grasp like sand. Your gaze drifts to the window, where the gardens stretch out in the morning light. The vibrant colors of the flowers and the rustling of the leaves call to you, a welcome escape from the suffocating walls of the study. He talks of magical beings. Dragons, werewolves, creatures in the sea, creatures in the sky. "Princess, are you paying attention?" the teacherās voice snaps you back to the present. His stern gaze pins you in place, and you force a polite smile.Ā
"Of course," you lie, straightening in your chair. But your mind is already elsewhere again, plotting and scheming. How could anyone care about the history of treaties when the present holds so much more promise for chaos? In the corner, Heeseung shifts, his boots scraping lightly against the stone floor. His gaze meets yours for a fleeting moment, and you catch the faintest glimmer of amusement in his eyes. Is he laughing at you? You bristle, sitting up straighter.Ā
The teacher drones on, oblivious to the silent exchange. "And so, The Kingās unification of the eastern territories laid the foundation for the peace we enjoy today..."Ā You stifle a yawn, your gaze flicking back to Heeseung. He looks as disinterested as you feel, his hand resting on the hilt of his sword as he leans against the wall.Ā
"Do you find this as thrilling as I do, Captain?" you mutter under your breath, barely audible.Ā
His eyes narrow slightly, but the corner of his mouth twitches upward. "Riveting," he murmurs back, his tone laced with sarcasm. "Though I imagine itās more tolerable when youāre not staring out the window." Your cheeks heat, and you turn your attention back to the teacher, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of a retort. The exchange leaves you flustered, though you canāt quite decide if itās from embarrassment or irritation. The lesson drags on, and by the time the scholar finally sets down his chalk, youāre convinced an entire day has passed. "Weāll continue tomorrow with the origins of the royal familyās insignia," he announces, as if thatās something to look forward to.Ā
You stand quickly, smoothing your skirts as you prepare to leave. Heeseung falls into step behind you, his presence a constant shadow. As you walk through the corridors, the silence stretches until you canāt bear it any longer. "You seemed awfully comfortable back there," you say, your tone sharp. "Do you always hover like a ghost, or is it just for me?"Ā
Heeseung glances at you, his expression unreadable. "Itās my job to keep you safe. I donāt have to enjoy it."Ā
"Safe from what?" you scoff. "The dust on those books? The unbearable monotony of castle life?"Ā
He stops abruptly, his dark eyes locking onto yours. "Safe from whatever danger your enemies might bring. Or," he adds, his voice low, "whatever danger you might bring yourself." The weight of his words hangs in the air, and for a moment, youāre at a loss. Then your lips curl into a smirk. "Iāll be sure to keep that in mind, Captain." You continue down the hall. Heeseung may be a nuisance, but heās also observantāand that makes him dangerous. Youāll need to keep your guard up around him, even if heās nothing more than an obstacle in your greater plan. The day isnāt over yet, and you still have work to do.Ā
After the lesson, you wander down the grand corridors of the castle, the heavy weight of boredom pressing against your chest. The day has been insufferableāyet another dull recounting of history delivered in a monotonous drone, the same names and dates hammered into your skull until they blurred together. Youāre not sure if itās exhaustion or frustration that drives your next decision, but the thought of retreating to your chambers feels unbearable. "I want to go to the library," you declare suddenly, glancing back at Heeseung, whoās trailing behind you with the enthusiasm of someone heading to their own execution.Ā
He raises a brow, not even trying to mask his irritation. "The library? What for? Didnāt you just spend hours listening to all that history nonsense?"Ā
"I didnāt ask for your opinion, did I?" you reply sharply, spinning back toward the hallway ahead. "Some of us like to expand our knowledge." There was a lot you needed to learn about the king and more specifically this castle if you were going to properly find a way to kill him. "You mean some of us like to make other peopleās lives harder," he mutters, loud enough for you to hear.Ā
You stop abruptly, turning to face him with an arched brow. "Oh, Iām sorry. Is being my guard not entertaining enough for you? Should I organize a parade in your honor?" Heeseung rolls his eyes, falling into step beside you instead of keeping his distance. "Entertaining is the last word Iād use to describe this job. Babysitting a princess who doesnāt act like one isnāt exactly the highlight of my career."Ā
"Good," you say with a saccharine smile. "Because Iām not a complacent little princess who needs constant coddling." You held your hide with triumph. Heeseung was just another man who had thought you weak, he was in for a rude awakening that was for certain. "Thatās obvious," he mutters, but you catch the hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. When you reach the library, the grandeur of the space strikes you all over again. Towering bookshelves stretch to the ceiling, their dark wood polished to perfection, and the scent of parchment and old ink fills the air. Itās quiet, serene, and exactly what you need after the grating monotony of the lesson.Ā
"Stay there," you order, gesturing vaguely to a corner. "Youāll ruin the atmosphere if you breathe too loudly."Ā
"Believe me," he says, leaning casually against a pillar, "I have no desire to ruin whatever grand intellectual pursuits youāre pretending to have." Ignoring him, you approach the nearest shelf, your fingers grazing the spines of the books as you scan the titles. But after a moment, your curiosity gets the better of you. "Speaking of pursuits," you say, casting a glance over your shoulder, "why is it that no one here seems to talk about magic?"Ā
Heeseungās posture stiffens slightly, the smirk fading from his face. "Why do you care?" It was an odd reaction, one you were watching closely. Why did everyone seem to tense up when magic is talked about? Isn't Aethera filled with endless amounts of magic and creatures unhuman. This was not something that was taboo, it should be normal. "Because itās fascinating," you say, turning to face him fully. "Magic is power, creation, mystery... Why wouldnāt I care?" You knew everything about magic, how much of magic did Heeseung really understand? It was obvious he did not possess any magical abilities and unless he could shapeshift into a man it didn't seem he was a magical being at that.Ā
"Itās dangerous," he replies curtly. "Thatās why." The answer was short and it annoyed you. Who was he to tell you? You had to remind yourself that he didn't know who and what you really were. "Everything is dangerous," you counter. "Swords, fire, ambition. That doesnāt mean we ignore it. Iād think someone like you would understand that."Ā
"Someone like me?" he echoes, his eyes narrowing. "Youāre a soldier, arenāt you? A protector. Surely you see the value in power," you press, taking a step closer. "Unless, of course, youāre afraid of it."Ā
Heeseungās jaw tightens, but he doesnāt take the bait. Instead, he crosses his arms, his tone clipped. "Magic has its place. But you seem a little too interested in it."Ā
"Why shouldnāt I be? Donāt you ever wonder about it?" you ask, watching him carefully. "Or are you just another guard who sees the world in black and white?" He doesnāt answer immediately, and the silence stretches between you. Finally, he sighs, his gaze hardening. "I donāt have magic, if thatās what youāre asking."Ā
The admission doesn't surprise you, causing a laugh to bubble up inside of you "None at all? Thatās... unfortunate." The corners of his mouth twitch downward, and his eyes darken. "Whatās that supposed to mean?" You decided to tease him, to rile him up a bit.Ā
"It means," you say with a shrug, "I wouldāve thought someone with your... demeanor might have at least a little magic. Even the tiniest spark."Ā
"Not everyone needs magic to survive," he says sharply, his voice lowering. "Some of us rely on skill and discipline. But I guess you wouldnāt understand that."Ā
"Skill and discipline?" you echo, unable to resist pushing further. "Is that what you tell yourself while others wield power you canāt touch?" As far as he knew, you didn't possess a magical ability but still teasing him was the highlight of this dreadful day. His glare is sharp enough to cut, and he takes a step forward, closing the distance between you. "I donāt need magic to be stronger than most people youāll ever meet. And I donāt need it to see through people like you."Ā
"People like me?" you ask, tilting your head. You were appalled at his blatant candor. It was almost insulting. "You hide behind clever words and fake smiles, pretending youāre better than everyone else," he says, his tone as biting as his stare. "But youāre just as flawed as the rest of usāif not more."Ā
His words hit harder than you expect, and for a moment, you falter. But then you square your shoulders, lifting your chin. "At least Iām not afraid to reach for power when I see it. Unlike you." Heeseung exhales sharply, his frustration visible in the tight set of his jaw. "You think you know everything, donāt you? But let me tell you something, Princessāpower without control is just chaos waiting to happen."Ā
"And control without power is just cowardice," you shoot back. Your blood boiling, heat soaring through your veins, heating your cheeks. The air between you crackles with tension, neither of you willing to back down. Finally, Heeseung turns away, his voice quieter but no less firm. "You donāt know what youāre talking about."Ā
"Maybe I donāt," you say, retreating to the shelf you were examining. "But I know enough to see that youāre scared of something you canāt admit." He doesnāt respond, and when you glance over your shoulder, you catch the faintest flicker of something in his expressionāresentment, maybe, or something deeper. It vanishes just as quickly, replaced by his usual stoic mask. You pull a heavy tome from the shelf, the weight of it grounding you as you carry it to a nearby table. As you settle into the chair and open the book, you steal another glance at Heeseung. Heās still by the pillar, arms crossed, his gaze fixed on a distant point in the room. For once, the thought of irritating him doesnāt bring you any satisfaction. Instead, his words linger in your mind, echoing louder than the scratch of your pen against the paper as you take notes. You tell yourself it doesnāt matter. Youāre here for a purpose, and nothingānot even an infuriating guardāwill distract you from it.Ā
-
The sound of boots against marble echoes faintly as Heeseung strides through the castle halls toward the kingās private chamber. He moves with purpose, his posture straight and disciplined, but his mind is far from focused. The conversation with the princess in the library still lingers, her biting words replaying in his head like a song he canāt escape. "Power without control is just chaos," he mutters under his breath, as if reaffirming the truth to himself. He shakes his head, forcing the distraction aside. There are more pressing matters to deal with.Ā
The guards stationed outside the chamber bow their heads as he approaches, stepping aside to allow him entry. Heeseung pushes open the heavy wooden door, the warmth of the kingās study enveloping him. The room is richly appointed, filled with books, maps, and the faint scent of parchment. The king sits behind a wide desk, his imposing frame leaning over a document, but he looks up as Heeseung enters. āHeeseung.ā the king greets, gesturing for him to approach. "What news do you bring?" Heeseung crosses the room, bowing slightly before standing at attention. "Your Majesty, the witches have remained quiet for now. The council is still fractured after what happened with Esme. Most of them are cautious, unwilling to draw attention."Ā
āāThe king leans back in his chair, his sharp eyes narrowing. "And the daughter?" Heeseung hesitates for a fraction of a second, his expression tightening. "She went missing not too long ago. No one knows where she is or what she looks like. The coven has done an exceptional job of erasing her trail. Weāve searched the surrounding areas, sent informants to neighboring regions, but nothing has turned up."Ā
The kingās lips press into a thin line, and he drums his fingers against the armrest. "That girl is a threat. Her bloodline alone makes her dangerous. If sheās anything like her mother, sheāll be biding her time, waiting to strike when we least expect it."Ā
"I understand, Your Majesty," Heeseung says, his voice steady. "Iāve increased surveillance on the coven. If they make a move, weāll know about it immediately." The king rises from his chair, pacing slowly across the room. His hands clasp behind his back, his expression thoughtful. "Good. But I want you to remain vigilant, Heeseung. The witches are not as divided as they may seem. Their hatred for this crown runs deep, and I will not let another insurgent rise under my watch."Ā
Heeseung nods, his fingers twitching slightly at his side. "Understood, Your Majesty. Iāll continue monitoring them closely." The king stops in front of a display case, its glass gleaming under the warm light of the room. Inside rests a single weaponāa dagger with an obsidian blade that seems to absorb the light around it. The hilt is engraved with ancient runes, and the very air near it feels charged with power. "You havenāt had to use it yet, have you?" the king asks, his voice carrying a hint of curiosity as he nods toward the blade.Ā
"No, Your Majesty," Heeseung replies, his gaze briefly flickering to the weapon before returning to the king. "Not yet." The king exhales, his expression hardening. "Good. Letās hope it stays that way. But if the girlāor any other witchādares to challenge us, I expect you to use it without hesitation. That blade is our safeguard against their kind. Itās the only thing that can cut through their spells and end them before they wreak havoc."Ā
Heeseungās hand unconsciously brushes against the hilt of his sword, though he feels the weight of the kingās words more than his weapon. "You have my word, Your Majesty. I wonāt let them get close."Ā
"See that you donāt," the king says, turning to face him fully. His gaze is sharp, his tone commanding. "The witches are not to be underestimated, Heeseung. Their magic is insidious, and theyāve infiltrated kingdoms before. We donāt even know how many of them might be near us, hiding in plain sight. Keep your eyes openāand your blade ready."Ā
Heeseung inclines his head. "Of course, Your Majesty." The king studies him for a moment longer before nodding in dismissal. "Go. Report back to me if thereās any sign of activity from the coven." Heeseung bows deeply before turning on his heel and exiting the chamber. The weight of the conversation settles over him like a shroud, the kingās words ringing in his ears. As he makes his way back through the castle, his thoughts drift to the princess. Her sharp tongue, her probing questions about magic... and the way her eyes seemed to burn with a defiance he couldnāt place. He shakes his head, pushing the thought away. She was a complication he didnāt need right now. The witches were still out there, somewhere, and one of them could be closer than anyone realized. Heeseung tightens his grip on the hilt of his sword, his jaw set. He couldnāt afford to lose focusānot now, not ever.Ā
-
The morning sun spills golden light across the castle grounds as you stand by the grand entrance, waiting for your reluctant escort. The crisp air carries the distant hum of the city waking beyond the castle wallsāthe sound of merchants setting up stalls, the laughter of children, the scent of fresh bread drifting from the bakeries. You can almost taste the freedom of the outside world. Almost. But, of course, you arenāt truly free. A sigh escapes your lips as you hear the familiar sound of armored boots approaching. Heeseung stops beside you, arms crossed, looking as thrilled about this excursion as he has about every other time heās been assigned to you. His expression is one of pure exasperation, like heād rather be facing a horde of assassins than babysitting a foreign princess in the city streets. "Letās get this over with," he mutters, adjusting the sword strapped to his hip. "Where exactly do you need to go?"Ā
You tilt your head, feigning innocence. "I heard thereās a traveling carnival near the market today. Iād like to see it." His brow furrows. "A carnival?" He looks you up and down, as if trying to decide whether or not youāre serious. "You mean to tell me you want to waste time with games and fortune tellers?"Ā
"You say āwaste time,ā I say ācultural experience,ā" you counter, offering a saccharine smile. "It would be a shame to visit Athera and not witness such a grand attraction." Heeseung sighs through his nose, clearly debating whether or not to argue. "Fine," he grumbles after a long pause. "But donāt wander off." You hum in agreement, already planning exactly how youāll do just that. The carnival is a whirlwind of color and sound. Performers juggle flaming torches, musicians play lively tunes, and vendors shout over the crowd, boasting their wares. Children run past, their hands sticky with honeyed treats, and silk-clad fortune tellers beckon visitors into their tents. Itās an assault on the sensesābut more importantly, itās a perfect place to disappear.Ā
"Stay close," Heeseung warns, scanning the crowd with practiced vigilance. You pretend to admire a display of glass trinkets, then gasp as if something catches your eye in the distance. "Oh! A mirror maze!" You turn to him, feigning excitement. "Letās go in!"Ā
Heeseung groans. "Youāve got to be kidding me."Ā
"Oh, come now," you say, grabbing his wrist before he can protest. "Surely a fearless captain of the guard isnāt afraid of a few reflections?" His jaw tightens. "Iām not afraid of anything."Ā
"Then prove it," you challenge, pulling him toward the entrance. His grumble is lost beneath the laughter of passing carnival-goers as you drag him inside. The moment you step into the maze, youāre surrounded by endless versions of yourself, your reflections stretching infinitely in every direction. The air is thick with the scent of candle wax and aged wood, and the flickering lanterns overhead cast eerie shadows along the mirrored paths. You take a slow step forward, the sound of your boots muffled against the carpeted floor. The maze is designed to disorient, to make one question whatās real and whatās merely a reflection. Even the flicker of candlelight bends strangely, making it hard to tell if the passage ahead is truly open or just another illusion.Ā
Heeseung exhales sharply behind you. "This is ridiculous," he mutters, glancing around warily. His reflection appears hundreds of times over, each version of him scowling in frustration. You canāt help but smirk. "Whatās the matter, Captain? Losing your sense of direction?"Ā
He glares at you through the glass. "No. But I know a trap when I see one." You press a hand against one of the mirrors, watching as the pressure sends a ripple through the illusion. "And yet, you walked right in with me," you tease, stepping forward with confidence. "That means either you trust me or youāre a fool." Heeseung doesnāt reply, but his silence is answer enough. The two of you move deeper into the labyrinth, the paths twisting in unpredictable patterns. At one point, you think you see the exit, only to step forward and bump into cold glass. Another time, Heeseungās reflection appears beside you, making you joltāonly to realize heās actually several feet away. The maze is playing tricks, forcing both of you to second-guess every turn.Ā
But unlike Heeseung, you know exactly what youāre doing. You let your fingers graze the mirrors as you walk, feeling for subtle shifts in temperature and texture. Itās a trick your mother taught you long agoāhow to sense when an illusion is stronger, when the air bends just slightly differently. Your way out is clear. You just need to make sure Heeseung doesnāt follow. "Stay close," he orders, his voice firm. You smile to yourself. "Of course." Your voice like silk as you mutter the words.Ā
You take a sharp turn, slipping through a narrow passage where the reflections fold over themselves like endless corridors. You move faster now, ducking under one of the low archways of glass, letting the maze do its work. Heeseung hesitates behind you, briefly lost in the overlapping images. Then, you act. You dart into one of the mirrored alcoves, pressing yourself against the cold surface. The way the mirrors are angled makes it seem as though the passage continues straight, even though youāre standing just off to the side. Heeseung rushes past you, too focused on keeping up to notice that youāve stopped.Ā
āāA few seconds pass. Then, his footsteps fade. You let out a slow breath, stepping out of your hiding place. The reflections shift again, swallowing Heeseung deeper into the maze while you double back toward the hidden exit. By the time he realizes heās been tricked, youāll already be gone.Ā
You slip through the narrow streets of the market, weaving between clusters of merchants and townsfolk, the scents of roasted nuts, spiced cider, and fresh bread thick in the air. The colorful banners overhead sway lazily in the breeze, casting shifting shadows over the cobblestone path. But your focus remains sharp. You know exactly where youāre going. Behind you, Heeseung is pushing through the crowd, his irritation palpable. He hasn't realized yet that you lost him in the mirror maze on purpose, only that youāre suddenly too far ahead for his liking.Ā
You pick up your pace, slipping into a cramped side alley where a wooden sign hangs above a darkened shop. The paint is faded, but the symbol etched into the wood is unmistakableāan open palm with an eye in the center. The sign of an apothecary. You step inside, and immediately, the scent of dried herbs and aged parchment wraps around you like a cloak. The shop is dimly lit, with shelves stacked high with jars of powders, roots, and liquids. Small bundles of lavender, sage, and bloodroot hang from the ceiling, their fragrance mingling with the faintly acrid smell of something more potent.Ā
A hunched old woman stands behind the counter, her fingers gnarled like tree roots as she grinds something into a fine powder with a mortar and pestle. She doesnāt look up as you approach. "You're late," she rasps.Ā
You hesitate for only a fraction of a second. "Am I?"Ā
Her milky white eyes flick up to meet yours. "No. But I like to keep customers uneasy. It keeps them from wasting my time." You smirk despite yourself. "Then I wonāt waste yours."
You lower your voice, leaning in slightly. "I need something strong. A poison. One that can kill quietly, without immediate suspicion." The old woman tilts her head, her sharp gaze scrutinizing you. Then, with slow deliberation, she sets down her pestle and shuffles to a shelf behind her, running her fingers over rows of tiny glass vials. "Death comes in many forms," she murmurs. "Painful or painless. Swift or slow. Do you wish them to suffer?"Ā
āYes.ā You answered honestly. āI want it to hurt.ā The words leave your lips like a blade unsheathed, sharp and final. The old woman pauses, then turns slightly, considering her selection. "Painful, then. I have something fitting." She plucks a dark glass bottle from the shelf, turning it in her hands before setting it on the counter between you. "Widowās Thorn. It seeps through the body like fire, tightening the lungs, sending agony through every nerve. A slow, excruciating death. He will beg for it to end before it takes him."Ā
A cold smile tugs at the corners of your lips. "Perfect." The woman watches you for a long moment. "You carry great hatred in your heart, girl." Her tone was not that of judgment but of curiosity, and i bit of understanding. You meet her gaze evenly. "And he carries greater sins."Ā
She hums in approval before placing her gnarled hand over the vial. "It is not cheap," she warns. "Nor is it a toy." You slide a coin pouch from your sleeve, setting it on the counter with a soft clink. "I understand." The woman studies you for another long moment before removing her hand. You pick up the vial, feeling the cool glass between your fingers.Ā
"Youāre no ordinary noble," she muses. "Your eyes are too sharp. Your hands too steady." You meet her gaze evenly. "And you ask too many questions." You hiss, your jaw tense. The old woman chuckles, a dry, rasping sound. "Perhaps. But take care, girl. Poison is a cruel death, and cruelty has a way of staining the soul." You slip the vial into the folds of your cloak, nodding once before turning toward the door.Ā
As you weave your way back through the winding streets, the hum of the carnival grows louder, the scent of roasted nuts and melted sugar filling the air. Lanterns sway overhead, casting flickering patterns along the cobblestone paths. You slip effortlessly into the crowd, blending among the laughter and shouts of eager festival-goers. Just as you step past a fire-breatherās act, a strong hand clamps around your wrist. You spin, already knowing who it is.Ā
Heeseung glares down at you, his jaw clenched tight, his dark eyes burning with irritation. āWhere were you?ā You tilt your head, feigning innocence. āI was right where you left me.āĀ
His grip tightens slightly, not enough to hurt, but enough to make his frustration clear. āDonāt play games with me,ā he hisses. āYou disappeared.ā You pull your wrist free, dusting off your sleeve as if his mere touch sullied it. āMaybe you were the one who got lost.āĀ
His brows furrow, the muscle in his jaw ticking. āI wasnāt the one who suddenly vanished into thin air.āĀ
You smirk. āThen maybe you should be better at your job, Captain.ā Sending him a mocking nod just to further piss him off. Heeseung exhales sharply, stepping in closer, lowering his voice so only you can hear. āDo you think I donāt know what youāre doing?āĀ
Your smirk doesnāt falter, but inside, a flicker of unease coils in your stomach. āAnd what exactly am I doing?ā He studies you, his gaze raking over every inch of your face like heās trying to decipher some hidden code. Then, he shakes his head. āI donāt know yet,ā he admits, voice low and firm. āBut I will.ā You hold his stare, refusing to be the first to look away.Ā
Then, with a casual shrug, you turn on your heel, striding toward the heart of the carnival. āTry not to lose me again, Captain,ā you call over your shoulder. His sigh of frustration is lost beneath the clamor of the crowd, but you donāt need to hear it. You know heās fuming. And you relish it.Ā
The vial of poison sits heavy in your pocket, the glass cool against your fingertips as you walk through the dim corridors of the castle. The evening hums with quiet activityāservants moving about with trays of food, guards standing at their posts, the murmur of distant conversations blending into the ambiance of wealth and order. You keep your pace measured, controlled, your heart steady even as anticipation thrums through your veins. The kitchens are alive with motion, filled with the mouthwatering aroma of roasted meats and warm bread. Flames crackle in the hearth, casting flickering light over the bustling staff. No one notices you lingering near the long oak table where steaming pots of stew are being ladled into bowls for the servants' evening meal. No one sees the small flick of your wrist as you pull the vial from your sleeve, tilting just enough for a single drop of the deadly liquid to disappear into the bubbling broth. it dissolves instantly, colorless and scentless. Perfect. Satisfied, you slip away, vanishing into the corridors before anyone can notice your presence.Ā
Dinner in the grand hall is an affair of indulgence and formality. The king sits at the head of the table, the queen beside him, both of them poised in their regal authority. The table stretches long, lined with glistening silver and crystalline goblets brimming with wine. Candles flicker against the polished surface, casting an intimate glow over the lavish setting. You are seated further down, close enough to play the role of the polite, eager-to-learn princess, but not too close to draw unwanted attention. Heeseung stands by the wall, arms crossed, his sharp gaze sweeping the room. You can feel him watching you, though you do not meet his eyes. Your hands rest lightly in your lap, your fingers curling against the fabric of your gown as you wait. And then it happens. The sound of hurried footsteps. A muffled cry from the hallway.Ā
āāThe heavy doors burst open, slamming against the stone walls. A maid stumbles in, her face ashen, her apron twisted in her trembling fingers. Her breath comes in sharp, panicked gasps.Ā āYour Majesty!ā she cries, eyes wild. āA-a servantāhe collapsed! Heās dead!ā The room stills. The queen sets down her goblet with quiet precision. The king barely moves, his gaze turning toward the distraught woman as if she were little more than a nuisance.Ā
āWhat did you say?ā His voice is calm, almost lazy, but there is an undercurrent of something elseāsomething cold, something dangerous. The maidās throat bobs as she swallows. āT-they say⦠it was poison, Your Majesty.āĀ
You suck in a breath, widening your eyes just enough to sell the performance. A low murmur rises among the nobles at the table, whispers of concern and speculation threading through the air. āPoison?ā you echo, your voice trembling ever so slightly. You place a delicate hand over your chest, as if the very notion disturbs you. The king exhales slowly, setting his goblet down with deliberate grace. He does not look surprised. He does not even look angry. He looks bored.Ā
He lifts his fingers, and the nearest guard steps forward. āBring me the chef.ā The murmurs grow louder as the order is carried out. The tension in the room tightens, a string pulled taut, ready to snap. Servants shift uncomfortably, the flickering candlelight making their faces look gaunt and uneasy. You sit perfectly still, your posture straight, your expression frozen in careful distress. Minutes stretch long before the doors open again, and the head chef is dragged into the room, his face pale with sweat. His apron is still dusted with flour, his hands trembling as he is forced onto his knees before the king. The silence is suffocating.Ā
The chefās lips tremble. āYour Majesty,ā he gasps, bowing his head so low his forehead nearly touches the marble floor. āI swear upon my life, I would neverāā The king tilts his head, studying the man as one would study a fly that has landed in their wine. āDo not lie to me.ā His voice is quiet, but the weight of it crushes the air from the room. āA man is dead. Someone is responsible.āĀ
The chef shakes his head violently. āIt wasnāt me! I have worked in this kitchen for years! I would neverāā The king lifts a hand, a simple flick of his wrist. The command is unspoken, but the nearest guard knows what it means. Steel flashes in the candlelight. A single stroke. A sickening, wet sound. The chefās head hits the polished marble floor with a dull thud. Blood pools in thick, slow streams, spreading out like ink on parchment. A servant gasps. One of the nobles flinches. But no one speaks. You inhale sharply, letting your fingers tremble as you press them to your lips, your eyes wide with horror. Inside, your heart racesānot with fear, but with something else. Power.Ā
The king sighs, as if exhausted by the whole ordeal. He picks up his goblet and takes a long, unbothered sip of his wine before turning his attention back to the table. āMy apologies for the disturbance,ā he says smoothly. āShall we continue?ā And just like that, the feast resumes. Conversation stirs back to life, noble voices rising once more, the clinking of silverware against porcelain filling the void left by the dying manās last breath. You lower your gaze, the picture of a shaken princess, but inside, your mind is alight with possibility. The poison worked. Now, all thatās left is to decide when the king will drink his own dose. And when he does, you will make sure his suffering is slow. Painful. Unforgettable.Ā
The morning light filters softly through the high windows of your chambers, casting delicate golden patterns across the marble floor. The events of last night linger in your mind like the ghost of a dream, the image of the chefās head hitting the cold stone floor replaying itself over and over. The kingās lack of hesitation, the way the entire room returned to feasting as though nothing had happenedāit only fuels the fire within you. Today, you will continue your plan. After dressing, you step into the hallway where, as expected, Heeseung is not waiting for you.Ā
Instead, another guard stands in his placeāa man taller, broader, but lacking the quiet sharpness that Heeseung always carried like a second skin. His armor gleams, freshly polished, his stance stiff and professional. You slow your steps, letting irritation seep into your voice. "Where is Heeseung?" you ask, folding your arms as you tilt your chin up slightly.Ā
The guard, clearly not accustomed to being questioned, hesitates for a moment before responding, "Captain Heeseung is taking a personal day, Your Highness." Your brows lift in surprise. "A personal day?" The words feel foreign in relation to Heeseung. He never struck you as the type to take time for himself, not when he carried that ever-present scowl and duty as if they were armor.Ā
The guard shifts slightly, looking uncomfortable under your scrutiny. "Yes, Your Highness. He did not say when he would return, only that he would be back when needed." You study the man, noting the slight tension in his stance, the way his hand stays a little too close to the hilt of his sword. Youāre not the only one unsettled by Heeseungās absence. āInteresting,ā you muse, keeping your voice light, as if this information does not bother you. But it does. Something is off. Heeseung doesnāt just disappear. He doesn't get days off. And though you should welcome the reprieve from his constant watchful presence, you find yourself⦠unsettled. Not because you miss his companyācertainly notābut because Heeseungās absence means unpredictability. And unpredictability is dangerous.Ā
For now, you will play along. You give the guard a measured look before sighing dramatically. āWell, I suppose that means you will have to endure escorting me today.āĀ
The man straightens. āIt would be my honor, Your Highness.ā Annoyingly polite. You roll your eyes. āHow unfortunate for you.ā And with that, you turn on your heel, already planning your next move. Wherever Heeseung is, you will find out soon enough.Ā
-
You had to get away from this guard. He was dumb, unmoving. He didnāt speak and barely moved. You could outsmart him, escape. Thereās no time to waste. āIām going to the washroomā You spoke quickly, not giving him much time to respond. āWait-ā The guard said, hand stretched out.Ā
āWould you really stop a lady whoās in her bleeding from using the bathroom guard?ā You had made uncomfortable with your talk of women's duties. He bowed his head, eyes not meeting your own. Coward. Pathetic coward. What kind of man gets squeamish at the thought of blood? The guards stationed outside the hall barely acknowledge you as you sweep past them, your head held high, posture regal. The trick to sneaking around isnāt to skulk in the shadowsāitās to make people believe you belong wherever you are. And right now, you belong anywhere you damn well please. The deeper you go into the castle, the more the corridors narrow, the lavish decorations thinning out as you approach restricted areas. You slow your steps, eyes scanning for anything usefulāan unguarded door, an overlooked passageway, something that will lead you closer to the kingās private quarters.Ā
You turn a corner and pause. Through an open archway, the scent of steel and sweat lingers in the air. The sound of a blade slicing through air, followed by the heavy thunk of metal embedding into wood, echoes through the hall. You step closer, careful to keep yourself hidden behind a pillar, and peer inside. There he is. Heeseung stands in the center of the training room, sleeves rolled up, his tunic damp with sweat. His usual pristine appearance is goneāhis hair tousled, his expression hard with focus. But itās his hands that capture your attention. A dagger twirls effortlessly between his fingers, moving so fluidly itās as if itās an extension of his own body. He flicks his wrist, and the blade slices through the air before burying itself into the target at the far end of the room.Ā
Bullseye.Ā
Without hesitation, he pulls another dagger from his belt. Spins it. Throws. Another perfect hit. Again. And again. Each throw is precise, calculated, deadly. You watch in silence, captivated despite yourself. Youāve seen skilled fighters beforeāyour own mother had trained you in combat, in magicābut Heeseung moves with an effortless grace that is as infuriating as it is impressive. You wonder if he even realizes how dangerous he looks right now. Then, as if sensing your gaze, Heeseung stills. Your breath catches. For a split second, you think heās caught you. But he only exhales, rolling out his shoulders before retrieving his knives from the wooden targets. The tension in your body eases slightly, though your mind remains alert. You shouldnāt be here. You should be searching for the kingās quarters, not watching the irritating captain of the guard train like some entranced fool. The rhythmic thunk of steel embedding into wood echoes through the training yard. Heeseung moves with effortless precision, each throw of his blade landing dead center on the target. His stance is steady, his expression unreadable, but thereās a sharpness in his eyesāa quiet intensity that speaks of years of discipline.
You watch from the shadows, hidden behind one of the stone pillars framing the open-air training ground. He doesnāt notice you at first, too focused on the fluidity of his movements, the weight of the blade in his grip. But after a few minutes, his motions slow. His shoulders tense ever so slightly. Then, as if some unseen force pulls his gaze, he turns. His eyes lock onto you, narrowing the moment he registers your presence. For a flicker of a second, surprise flashes across his face, but itās quickly replaced by something sharperāanger.Ā
āWhy are you alone?ā he demands, striding toward you. āWhereās your guard?ā You shrug, feigning nonchalance. āSomewhere, I suppose.ā Heesseung looks angry; you wouldn't tell if the redness was from his prior workout or anger. His jaw tenses. āAnd he just let you wander off?āĀ
You offer him a lazy smile, tilting your head. āI suppose he did.ā Heeseung exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair before shaking his head. āUnbelievable.ā His voice is low with frustration as he moves to usher you back inside. āCome on, letās go. You shouldnāt be out here.ā But you donāt budge. āNo.āĀ
His steps falter, his brows knitting together. āNo?ā You cross your arms. āI want to spar.āĀ
He scoffs. āAbsolutely not.āĀ
āI insist.āĀ
āI donāt care.āĀ
You tilt your head, eyes gleaming with something he canāt quite place. āAfraid I might win?ā
His expression darkens. āAfraid Iāll break you.ā
You step closer, raising your chin defiantly. āTry.ā For a moment, he says nothing. Thereās a war in his gaze, hesitation battling irritation, but something about your confidenceāyour audacityāchips away at his resistance. Finally, with a heavy sigh, he relents. āFine,ā he mutters, rolling his shoulders. āA few rounds. Thatās it.ā
The sparring circle is a wide-open space in the center of the training grounds, enclosed by a low fence. Heeseung steps in first, rolling his sleeves up as he retrieves two training daggers. He tosses one to you without warning, but you catch it easily, twirling it once in your grip. He eyes the movement with quiet appraisal before stepping into position. āTry to keep up,ā he says.
You smirk. āLikewise.ā Then he moves. Heās fast, striking without hesitation. You barely dodge his first attack, sidestepping at the last second before blocking his next strike with your blade. The clash of steel rings through the air. Heeseung doesnāt let up, forcing you backward, testing your reflexes. You knew he was skilled, but thisāthis is something else. Every move is calculated, precise. Heās relentless, but so are you. You donāt fight like a princess. You fight like a survivor. And soon, Heeseung realizes that. The match intensifies. You anticipate his strikes, dodging just enough to throw him off balance, forcing him to adjust. He sees it nowāthe sharp intelligence behind your movements, the way you donāt just react, but plan. And then, just as he thinks he has you corneredāyou outmaneuver him.
With a sharp pivot, you twist out of his reach, knocking his blade off course. Before he can recover, you close the distance, pressing your dagger against his throat. Heeseung stills. The only sound is your heavy breathing, the pounding of your heart, the weight of the moment hanging between you. His dark eyes search yours, something unreadable flickering in them. Then, his voiceālow, measured. āWho are you?ā You tilt your head, pressing the blade just a little closer, enough to make a point. Then, voice soft, you ask,
āI donāt know. Who are you? Do you ever truly know who you really are?ā The question lingers between you like smoke, curling into the air. His breath is shallow, his gaze locked onto yours, and for a momentājust a fleeting momentāyou both forget yourselves. Your faces are close. Too close. The sharpness of the fight melts into something else, something neither of you acknowledge but feel all the same. His eyes flicker to your lips. Your grip on the dagger tightens. But before anything can happen, before the tension snapsāyou pull away. Slowly, deliberately, you lower the blade, stepping back just enough to let the moment pass. Heeseung exhales, something unreadable in his expression. You smirk, tossing the blade back to him. āGood match.ā Then, without waiting for a response, you turn on your heel and walk away, leaving him standing in the circle, breathless and utterly at a loss for words.Ā
That night, the castle feels different. A hush has settled over its grand halls, a silence deeper than usual, as if the walls themselves are holding their breath. A storm churns in the distance, flashes of lightning illuminating the arched windows, followed by the low rumble of thunder rolling across the land. The wind rattles against the stone, whispering through the cracks, but inside, everything remains still. It is the perfect night to disappear. Hushed whispers of a ball being thrown had been thrown about the castle like a plague. Every staff member was occupied with making it as grand as possible for the king and queen, no one would even notice you moving throughout the castle like a wraith in the night. You move like a shadow through the corridors, your cloak wrapped tightly around you, masking the movement of your form. The guards are stationed at their usual posts, their movements predictable, their patterns unchanged. Youāve studied them, memorized them, and now you slip past with ease, ducking into alcoves and timing your steps to the rhythm of their shifting patrols.Ā
The grand halls of the upper castle give way to narrower passageways as you descend, leaving behind the golden glow of chandeliers for the dim flicker of torches. You pass cold stone walls lined with forgotten paintings, their gilded frames dulled with dust, their subjects long since faded into irrelevance. Down here, the air is thick with something ancient, something heavy that clings to your skin and settles in your lungs. You need to go deeper. You recall the books you pored over in the library, the pages that spoke of the castleās underbellyāof vaults hidden beneath layers of stone, of corridors long abandoned by those who walk in the daylight. The king is a collector, a hoarder of power. His vaults hold relics of immense magical strengthāartifacts stolen, bought, or seized by force. Somewhere in this castle, he has hidden them away, locked behind spells and steel, guarded by something more fearsome than any soldier. The thought of it quickens your pulse. A kitsune.Ā
The old texts mention it only in passing, never in detail. A fox spirit of great power, bound to the king by means unknown. A guardian of his most prized possessions, watching over them with an unwavering gaze. The mere idea of it is enough to make most people turn away, abandon their curiosity. But you are not most people. Your fingers brush against the cool stone wall as you tread carefully down a spiraling stairway, your ears straining for any sound beyond your own heartbeat. The deeper you go, the more the castle shifts. The polished grandeur of the upper levels fades, replaced by something older, something untouched by timeās gentle hand. Here, the walls are raw, uneven, carved by those who built the kingdomās foundations centuries ago. The torches burn lower, their light flickering against carvings worn down with age. Whispers of history cling to the very air, as if this place remembers all that has passed within its depths.Ā
Then, a feeling washes over youālike a change in pressure, like stepping into the eye of a storm. Magic. It hums in the air, subtle yet undeniable. The taste of it lingers on your tongue, thick and electric, coiling through the corridor like an unseen force. You are close. Your breath is steady as you move forward, every step measured, every sense heightened. You know better than to rush. Whatever lies ahead is more than mere locked doors and guards with steel. This place breathes magic. And somewhere in the depths of this castle, hidden behind layers of spellwork and shadow, the kitsune waits. You continue in the shadows until you come upon a door. The heavy door looms before you, thick with iron reinforcements and etched with sigils of protection. Itās unmistakableāthis is where the king hides his most treasured artifacts, his most dangerous secrets. But itās not unguarded. Two men stand at either side, their hands resting lazily on the hilts of their swords. Theyāre not expecting troubleāwhy would they? No one should be foolish enough to wander this deep into the castle, let alone pose a real threat. That works in your favor.Ā
You take a steadying breath, smoothing out the frantic beat of your heart before stepping forward, letting panic seep into your features, widening your eyes, letting your breath hitch as if you've been running for your life "Please!" Your voice is rushed, desperate. "Iā I think Iām lost. I donāt know how I got down here, I was just trying to find my way back, and thenā" You swallow, letting your hands tremble. "There were voices. I heard something. I got scared."Ā
One of the guards furrows his brow. "How did you even get down here?" He eyes you warily, shifting his stance. "Iā I donāt know," you stammer, stepping closer, your body language frantic. "I was exploring, and then I took a wrong turn, and then suddenly I was just⦠here." They exchange glances, their suspicion flickering into something softerāconcern. Youāve played your part well. "You shouldnāt be here, Princess," the other guard says, his voice gruff but not unkind. "This area is off-limits. Weāll escort you backā"Ā
Before he can finish, you move. A whisper of power curls from your lips, the incantation slipping through the air like a snake through grass. The first guard barely has time to react before his head jerks violently to the side, the sickening crack of bone snapping echoing through the stone corridor. His body crumples to the ground. The second guard recoils, horror flashing in his eyes. "Witch!" he bellows, drawing his sword and charging at you. You barely have the strength to lift your hand, but you donāt need much. Another whisper of your spell, and his charge is cut shortāhis neck twists sharply, and he collapses in a lifeless heap beside his comrade. Your breath comes ragged and uneven. Magic floods through your veins, but it takes from you as much as it gives. Your limbs are heavy, exhaustion pressing down on your shoulders like a weight. The price of your power. You donāt have time to dwell on it. Stepping over their bodies, you press a hand to the iron door. Magic thrums beneath your fingertips, woven through the metal itself. The king is cautiousāhe wouldnāt leave his treasures unprotected. But you are not just anyone.Ā
Summoning what little energy you have left, you press your palm against the seal and begin to whisper another spell. The lock trembles. The air crackles. Then, with a final pulse of energy, the door groans and clicks open. You push forward, slipping inside, knowing your time is running out. The chamber hums with power, its air thick with ancient magic, the weight of centuries pressing down on you. The sconces along the walls flicker with eerie blue fire, casting shifting shadows over the stolen artifactsādaggers humming with curses, crowns still stained with dried blood, vials of glowing liquid that pulse as if alive. Your fingers skim over them, barely paying attention. None of it matters. None of it will help you kill the king.Ā
Then you see it. A small glass case, set apart from the others. You step closer, your breath catching in your throat. Inside the case, a severed finger rests on a velvet cushion. For a moment, your mind refuses to understand. The skin has shriveled with time, the bone just barely visible beneath. But your eyes lock onto the ringāsilver, inlaid with dark opal that shimmers with hues of deep purple and green. It was your mothers ring, your mothers finger. A sharp inhale stabs through your ribs. You know this ring better than anything. You remember tracing the intricate metal work as a child while curled up in her lap. You remember the way she twisted it absently when she was lost in thought, the way candlelight flickered against its surface as she cast spells in the dead of night. And now, it sits before youāsevered, encased, displayed like a grotesque trophy. Your hands shake as you press your fingers against the glass, breath fogging up the surface. No. No, no, no. A cold, empty feeling spreads through your chest, then morphsāgrowing hotter, sharper. Your vision blurs, rage and grief mixing into something unbearable.Ā
Your fist slams against the case. Nothing. Again, harder. The glass doesnāt even crack. "Open," you whisper, voice raw. "Open, damn you." The magic inside you stirs, a furious storm barely contained. You summon it, let it coil in your palm before slamming your magic against the case. Sparks crackle against the glass, but it remains untouched. Spell-locked. A sob of frustration bubbles up, but you swallow it down. Hot tears slip down your cheeks, your breathing ragged. They mutilated her. Desecrated her. Took her apart and locked away a piece of her like some sick prize. You grip the edges of the case, nails digging into the wood. The weight of loss, of helplessness, crushes down on you, threatens to drag you under. You want to destroy everything in this room, rip apart the shelves, burn this entire wretched castle to the ground. But you donāt have time. Not now. But soon. Your motherās ringāher bodyāwill not remain here. You will come back. You will tear this place apart if you have to. But first, the king must die.Ā
Your shoulders heave as you force yourself to turn away, scanning the shelves with red-rimmed eyes. Then, something catches your attention. A slender vial, shimmering deep crimson in the dim light. You reach for it, your fingers brushing over the cold glass. The moment you pick it up, you feel the power insideādense, ancient, raw. Dragonās blood. A weapon unlike any other. Your grip tightens around the vial. The grief clawing at your chest hardens, sharp and unyielding. This will have to be enough. With one last glance at the caseāthe last piece of your mother left in this cursed placeāyou turn and slip out of the chamber, your pulse a war drum in your ears. You donāt look back. But you swear, with every shattered piece of your heart, that you will return.Ā
The next morning, the castle is a different place. Tension clings to the air like a storm about to break. The usual murmur of servants and guards is replaced with sharp orders and hurried footsteps. Every corridor you pass seems to hold hushed voices, uneasy glances, hands gripping weapons a little too tightly. Something is wrong. When Heeseung arrives at your chambers, his expression is carved from stone. His dark eyes, usually filled with a mixture of irritation and exasperation when he looks at you, are unreadable. "Get up," he says shortly. "You're expected at breakfast."Ā
You stretch your arms above your head lazily, feigning disinterest, but you study him closely. His jaw is tense, shoulders rigid beneath his uniform. "Whatās with the fuss this morning?" you ask, tilting your head as you sit up. Heeseung doesnāt answer right away. He exhales through his nose, as if debating what to tell you. Finally, he settles on: "There was an intruder in the castle last night." Your stomach twists, but you keep your expression neutral. "An intruder?" you echo, feigning mild curiosity. His eyes flick over to you, sharp and assessing. "Two guards were killed. Their bodies were found near the lower levels of the castle."Ā
You force yourself to frown as if this is just terrible news and shake your head. "How awful," you murmur. "Who would be foolish enough to break into the kingās home?" Heeseung is still watching you. Too closely. "They donāt know yet," he says after a moment, his tone carefully measured. "But the king is furious. Heās ordered every entrance locked down. No one enters or leaves without permission."Ā
You hum, slipping out of bed. "Good thing I have no reason to leave, then." Heeseung scoffs, shaking his head as if he finds you exhausting. "Just get dressed," he mutters. "You're not skipping breakfast." As you move to change, your back turned to him, your mind races. They're already searching. They're already tightening security. If they realize why someone broke ināif they even suspect it was for the vaultāyou might not have as much time as you thought. You press your lips together. No. It doesnāt matter. The plan hasnāt changed. If anything, this only confirms what you already knewāthis kingdom is built on blood and fear. You need to be careful, but you wonāt stop.Ā
As you fasten the last piece of your attire, you catch Heeseung watching you in the reflection of the mirror. He looks as if he wants to say somethingāhis brow furrowed, his mouth pressing into a lineābut he says nothing. You turn to him with a smirk, masking the unease curling inside you. "Lead the way, my dear guard," you say lightly. Heeseung rolls his eyes, but he doesnāt argue. You follow him out into the castle halls, stepping into a kingdom on edge.Ā
You stand before the ornate mirror in your chambers, staring at your reflection. The grand dress draped over your body is a masterpieceārich fabric embroidered with delicate golden threads, dark as midnight yet shimmering under the candlelight. You look every bit the part of a royal guest, a princess attending a grand ball. But beneath the surface, beneath the layers of silk and jewels, you are something else entirely. Tonight, you are a weapon. Your fingers tighten around the small vial hidden in your palm. The Dragonās blood. The forbidden elixir, the essence of an ancient and untamed power. You uncork it carefully, the scent metallic and sharp, like the crackle of fire before it engulfs everything in its path. Slowly, you tilt the vial, letting a single drop roll onto your tongue. The effect is instant. A current of heat rushes through your veins, not burning, but igniting something deep within. Your magic, once a slow ember, roars to life, curling through you like smoke, like lightning trapped beneath your skin. Your fingertips tingle, your senses sharpen. You feel more. More alive, more powerful, more capable. The exhaustion from the night beforeāthe drain of breaking into the kingās vaultāfades into nothing.Ā
You exhale, gripping the vanity table to steady yourself. You had been unsure, hesitant even, that you were strong enough. But now? Now, there is no doubt. Tonight, you will make your move. You turn back to the mirror, watching as your expression settles into something unreadable. Calculated. Regal. Deadly. The ballroom will be filled with nobles, lords, ladies, and dignitaries from far-off kingdoms. A perfect spectacle. A perfect place for a queen to fall, for a kingdom to be thrown into chaos. For a tyrant to meet his end. Straightening your posture, you give yourself one last look. This is it.Ā
The ballroom is alive with opulenceāgolden chandeliers dripping with light, polished marble floors reflecting the grandeur of silk and velvet swirling across them. The music is intoxicating, the scent of perfumed nobles and honeyed wine thick in the air. Laughter rings out, conversations swirl around you, but you hear none of it. Your mind is elsewhere. Your pulse pounds like war drums beneath your skin. You move through the crowd with effortless grace, a smile painted onto your lips as if you belong here. As if youāre not plotting the death of a king. But Heeseung is there. As always. His presence is suffocating, shadowing your every step like a second skin. His dark eyes flicker over you, unreadable, his stance tense yet controlled. He doesnāt speak much, but his gaze tells you enough. Iām watching you. You raise your chin, offering him an easy smile before returning to the conversation at hand. A nobleman drones on about trade routes, his voice a low hum beneath the sound of the orchestra. You nod, feigning interest, but your thoughts are far from politics. You need a distraction. Your fingers twitch at your side, hidden beneath the folds of your gown. You reach for the magic simmering beneath your skin, feeling it coil and tighten, waiting to be used. Just enough to pull Heeseung awayāto make him focus on something else. You cursed yourself for the tiny bit of shame you felt for using magic on Heeseung but you had to do it, you had no other choice.Ā
You glance toward the great dais, where the king sits, adorned in his gilded robes, his expression that of a man who believes himself untouchable. Disgust coils in your stomach, but you keep your expression neutral. Soon, he will fall. You slip away from the conversation, weaving through the guests, searching for the right moment. The right opportunity. The plan was simple: a small, unseen pulse of magic. A subtle stroke of power, like a whisper through the wind, meant to strike the king down where he sits. Undetected. You reach deep, letting the dragonās blood hum within you, amplifying the magic you summon. Your lips barely move as you utter the incantation beneath your breath, sending the spell toward the king, unseen and deadly. But something is wrong. The moment the spell leaves your fingertips, something repels it. A force stronger than your ownālike an invisible wall caging him in. Your power slams into it, rebounding with such force that the air crackles, sending a ripple of energy through the room.Ā
And thenā The chandeliers flicker. The music halts. A gust of unseen force whips through the ballroom, unsettling gowns and ruffling hair. A gasp spreads through the crowd like wildfire, confusion crackling in the air. The king is unharmed. And your magic has failed. Panic seizes your chest. All around you, nobles murmur in confusion, their gazes darting about the room, trying to make sense of the disruption. Chaos brews. Guards immediately rush forward, swords drawn, shouts echoing against the gilded walls. The tension is thick, palpable, the scent of fear curling through the air. "Find the culprit!" someone yells. Your breathing is unsteady, your pulse racing. This wasnāt how it was supposed to go. And then A hand clamps down on your wrist, strong and unyielding. Heeseung. And before you can say another word heās pulling you outside towards the grand doors of the ballroom amongst the chaos. The night air is crisp, wrapping around you in cool tendrils as Heeseung all but drags you out of the grand ballroom. His grip is firm but not bruising, a silent urgency radiating from him as he pulls you through winding hallways and out into the open garden. The moment your feet hit the damp stone path, the doors click shut behind you, muffling the panicked voices and frantic movements inside.Ā
Moonlight washes over the garden, casting silvery shadows across the sculpted hedges and trickling fountains. The scent of night-blooming flowers clings to the air, but thereās no time to admire the beauty around youānot when Heeseung turns to you with that sharp, assessing gaze, his chest rising and falling just a little too fast. "Sit," he commands, his voice clipped and breathless. You scoff, arms crossing over your chest. "Excuse me?" Instead of answering, he steps closer, his eyes sweeping over you with meticulous precision. He looks frantic, almost wild, like a man searching for something just out of reach. His hands hover, unsure, before finally settling on your wrist, fingers pressing against your pulse as if to confirm that you are, in fact, still alive. "I'm fine," you snap, trying to pull away, but his grip tightens just enough to stop you.Ā
"Stop," he murmurs, and this time, his voice is different. Lower. Almost pleading. Something in you hesitates. His hands move with surprising gentleness, brushing over your arms, ghosting across your shoulders, grazing your waist. Every touch is clinical, preciseāsearching for wounds, hidden injuries, anything that could explain the tension in his jaw, the way his brows remain furrowed even as he finds nothing. A strange warmth pools in your stomach. You shove it down. "Youāre acting like you care," you say, the words sharper than you intend.Ā
His jaw clenches, his fingers twitching before he pulls away like you've burned him. "Donāt flatter yourself," he mutters, raking a hand through his tousled hair. Your lips curl in amusement despite yourself. "Then stop acting like you were about to have a heart attack over me." His gaze flickers, something unreadable passing through his expression before it hardens. "You could have been hurt," he grits out, like admitting it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. You blink. The sincerity in his voice catches you off guard. A beat of silence stretches between you, thick and charged.Ā
Then, slowly, you step closer, tilting your head up at him. "Were you worried, Heeseung?" His throat bobs. His eyes flicker down to your lipsājust for a second, barely noticeableābefore snapping back up to meet yours. "I'm doing my job," he says, but the words sound hollow even to him. You hum, unconvinced. "Are you?" Silence. The space between you feels impossibly small. Heeseung is still close, his breath warm against your skin, his scentāsomething dark and woodsy, laced with steelācurling around you. Your pulse pounds in your ears, the remnants of adrenaline mixing with something else. Something more dangerous. For a fleeting moment, you wonder what would happen if you reached up, if you closed that final inch between you. If you tilted your chin just a little higherā no.Ā
āYes, doing my job.ā He said again not meeting your piercing gaze. You scoff. "Your job? Is your job doting on me like Iām some fragile, innocent, doe-eyed princess?" You take another step toward him, closing the space heās put between you. "Why are you so obsessed with making sure Iām okay?" Heeseung clenches his jaw, his eyes dark and unreadable. For a moment, you think he wonāt answer. But thenā "Itās my duty," he grits out. "As the kingās guard, itās my responsibility to protect the people."Ā
You roll your eyes. "The people. How noble of you." You cross your arms over your chest. "That doesnāt explain why youāthe ever-dutiful Heeseungāseem to be more concerned about me than anyone else." He stares at you, his nostrils flaring slightly, tension coiling in the set of his shoulders. His lips press into a thin line like heās fighting something, some war within himself. Then, finally, he exhales. And when he speaks, his voice is lower. Rougher. "Because I care about you." Your breath catches. His confession hangs between you, raw and unguarded. He looks almost regretful for saying it, as if the words left his mouth before he could stop them.Ā
You swallow, heartbeat hammering. "Youā"Ā
"I care about you," he repeats, like heās forcing himself to admit it, to say it out loud. His brows knit together, frustration laced in his voice. "And I hate that I do. But I canāt stand the thought of something happening to you." You should say something. You should throw some quip back at him, something sharp and taunting. But the way heās looking at you nowādark eyes flickering with something intense, something dangerousāsteals the words from your tongue. The air between you shifts. Neither of you move, but the gravity between you pulls tighter, like a thread stretched to its breaking point. You can feel the heat of his body, the restrained tension radiating from him like a caged storm. His gaze dips to your lips. You donāt think. You just act. You grab the front of his shirt and pull him down to you. His lips crash against yours, rough and unrelenting. Itās not soft. Itās not slow. Itās desperate. You hadnāt been touched for what seemed like forever, the feeling of a man's hands running up and down your body had felt foreign. You were not experienced but you weren't a virgin eachother. Action was hard to come by in the coven believe it or not. Heeseung makes a low sound in the back of his throat, something between frustration and need, as he presses you back against the stone wall. His hands are on youāgripping your waist, sliding up your arms, fingers pressing into your skin like heās trying to ground himself, to remind himself that youāre real.Ā
Your own hands tangle into his hair, pulling, needing him closer, needing more. He growls against your lips, his grip tightening on your hips as he pushes against you. The warmth of his body seeps into yours, and you swear you can feel his heartbeat pounding just as wildly as your own. The kiss deepens, turns hungrier, more fevered. You nip at his lower lip, and he exhales sharply, his fingers tightening on your waist. His control is slippingāyou can feel it in the way his breathing turns ragged, the way his hands grip you like heās afraid to let go. For a moment, the rest of the world ceases to exist. There is no ball, no king, no duty or vengeance. Just this. Just him. His hands grip your waist, fingers pressing into your hips as he backs you against the cold stonewall of the secluded garden. Your breath hitches as the contrast between the chill of the stone and the heat of his body sends a shiver down your spine. Heeseung feels itāhis grip tightening, his fingers curling into you as if he wants to pull you closer, eliminating the space between you entirely. You donāt speak your tangle of tongues and teeth speaking for you.Ā
You respond in kind, your hands sliding up his chest, over the rapid rise and fall of his breaths, until they find their way to his hair. You tugāharder this time, just to see what heāll do. Heeseung groans against your lips, the sound reverberating through your bones, and in retaliation, he presses his body flush against yours. A gasp slips from you at the overwhelming sensation of himāhis warmth, his strength, the way he fits against you so perfectly it almost feels inevitable. Youāre drowning in him, lost in the way his lips move against yoursāurgent, searching, like heās trying to memorize the taste of you. The air between you crackles with something electric, something undeniable, something that neither of you can ignore anymore. His hands wander, sliding up your sides, over the delicate fabric of your gown. When his fingers skim the bare skin of your arm, you shudder. Heeseung notices. He pulls back just enough to look at you, his dark eyes flickering with something unreadable, something dangerously close to reverence. "You shouldnāt do that," you murmur, your voice breathless. "Do what?" he asks, his lips hovering just above yours, his breath warm against your skin. "Look at me like that." Heeseung exhales a quiet laugh, the sound tinged with something like frustration. "Then stop making it so damn hard."Ā
Your heart stutters. And then his lips are on yours again, softer this timeālingering, savoring. His hands cradle your face like heās afraid youāll disappear, his thumbs brushing gentle strokes along your jaw. Itās different nowāless rushed, less desperate, but no less intense. He pushes you up against the moss covered wall of the royal garden, his breathing slightly labored. āWe should stop.ā He pants out his breathing hitting your face, his lips hovering over yours.Ā
āWe should.ā You nodded, āBut I don't want to.ā You muttered. You reattach your lips to his refusing to acknowledge the world around you, to ignore the fact that you very well could get caught in this garden with the captain of the king's guard lips attached to yours. You found it hard to care, not when his hands were roaming your body like he owned it. Like he wanted to eat you whole and youād let him. Youād let him skin you alive, picking at you layer by layer until you laid bare in front of him. You didn't have the time for that. No matter how badly you wanted to take your time with him you simply couldn't. You had to be quick and you had a sharp feeling that wouldn't bother Heeseung much.Ā
āI want you.ā You hissed out. Your hands reach to cup his face. āLet me have you.ā Heeseungās face changed from shock to lust in such an instant you thought you might have imagined the change.Ā
āThis is wrong.ā He shook his head, stepping back not even an inch. It looked like it pained him to move even the slightest. Like it would kill him to not be touching you. You felt the same. āWho cares.ā Your voice was light, airy. It almost sounded desperate, a tone you had never heard from yourself. You didn't know whether to be embarrassed or not. Standing here begging a man to take you. You had never been so vulnerable before and it scared you. This wasn't what you were here for, you had one mission and that was to kill the king not fall in love. Your mouth and body seemed to have a mind of its own. You shook your head, stepping forward, your hand landing on Heeseungās arm.Ā
āItās Okay.ā You whispered. āDo you want me, Heeseung?ā You asked, your voice stern as your eyes searched his.Ā Ā
āI-ā He started out but you shook your head, asking him once again. āDo you want me?āĀ
āYes.ā Heeseung said without much more hesitation. His lips were back on yours before you could utter another word. His tongue mingled with yours. It was exhilarating and mind numbing, a great escape away from everything that plagued your mind as of late. His hands pawed at your skirts, inching them up slower and slower. It was if he was hinting at it, like you both hadnāt just agreed to do this. Your hands reached for your skirts pulling them up hastily.Ā
āDonāt beat around the bush.ā You pant. āFuck me.ā Your words served as a catalyst for Heeseungās growing lust. His hands worked on his belt and then his pants yanking them down just enough to free himself. Your chest heaved up and down feeling constrained in your very tight corset. āYouāll have to pull out. I cannot become with child Heeseung.āĀ
Heeseung nodded his head but said nothing, almost as if he wanted to ignore the topic. You understood that completely. You didnāt want to stop and think of what the two of you were actually doing and what it would cost if you were caught, no that would be disastrous. It would ruin your entire plans and everything you had worked so hard for you. You shook the thoughts away, you didn't need to over complicate things now. Heeseungās lips met your neck in a haste. His lips trailed down the column of your neck until it reached your collarbone and lower. His mouth attaching to your cleavage and hands cupping your breasts over your dress.Ā
āAre you ready?ā He asked you, his eyes meeting yours. You nodded at him. You needed him to do something, now. You watched only his face as you felt him lift your skirts a bit more for more access. His hands sliding over your bare thighs. His eyes flicked down only for a moment before you felt him at your entrance. The two of you were silent but the sound of your silence was loud enough. You didnāt need words, not when your need for each other spoke for you. You felt him slide into you with slow ease. His breath catching but his eyes never leaving yours.Ā
āOh god.ā You muttered out. Your voice was wispy and almost airy but you couldn't help it, just the initial stretch of Heeseung had felt like a tiny piece of heaven that you hadn't known you needed until you got it. āIs this ok?ā He asked as he made shallow thrusts into you with only his tip going in and out of you.Ā
āYes.ā You hissed. āMore.ā Heeseungās hips moved faster against yours. You tried your best at keeping your noises low in your throat. You didn't know if guards were wandering around the garden or not. Heeseungās soft moans are the main source of noise between the two of you as he hurriedly rutted into you like a ravaged dog in heat. Your back bumping against the moss covered all over and over as Heeseung worked himself over you.Ā
You looked up at Heeseung with doe-like eyes. Sweat dripped from his brow, his mouth slightly agape. āThat feel good?ā You asked him with a slight smirk. Heeseungās eyes met your own with a bewildered look.Ā
āSo fucking good.ā He grunted, slamming his lips against yours more rough than before. A squeak left your lips at the contact bracing your hand behind you on the wall. āSuch a pretty pussy for a pretty little princess too.ā His words caught you off guard, he was dirty talking to you. And it was so fucking hot.Ā
āYeah?ā You asked breathily, running your hands over his clothed chest. āYou like using my tight little princess pussy donāt you? Fucking me so good.ā Heeseung groaned, groping at your ass over your dress. His thrust became less coordinated, more rushed.Ā
āFuck. Yes.ā Heeseung grunted each snap of his lips bringing you that much closer to your end, heat bubbling in your core ready to explode. And explode it did, like a blinding light you reached your end convulsing around Heeseungās cock like a starving whore. Your hand stuck to your mouth to cover the sounds that spilled from your lips. Heesung watched you intently, his eyes drinking in your haze of lust like he was under a spell and he didn't care. Soon Heeseung was pulling away in a haste causing a gasp to leave your lips. His hand moved up and down himself, a groan leaving his lips as he spilled his spend all over his hand, making a mess of himself.Ā
Only silence hung in the air after as the both of you caught your breath. Heeseung washes his hands off in the fountain in the garden. Heeseung turns to you, his face flush, he reaches a hand out to you cupping your cheek gently, still no words fading between the two of you. Still, youāre silent, so silent you could hear a pin drop. You stared up at him watching as his eyes intently bounced around your face, probably taking what had just happened between the two of you. You could feel the shifted energy between the two of you. Things have changed, no matter how much you didnt want them to, they did. A distant noise from the castleāa door opening, the faint sound of voicesāpierces through the haze, snapping you both back to reality. Heeseung tenses first. He pulls back slowly, his breathing heavy, his lips still parted as if he might say something. But he doesnāt. Instead, he releases you and just like that, the spell between you breaks. You stare at each other, caught in a silence thick with unspoken words. Then Heeseung swallows, straightens his posture, and takes a step back. "We should go inside," he says, his voice rough. You nod, though your body still hums with the memory of his touch. Neither of you say anything else as you make your way back toward the castle, but one thing is clearāwhatever just happened between you, whatever this isā¦itās far from over.Ā
The war room is thick with tension, the air heavy with the weight of failure. Heeseung stands rigid before the king, his jaw clenched, hands behind his back in a position of forced composure. Across the long table, the king and queen sit side by side, their expressions carved from stoneāone of fury, the other of calculation. "How," the king begins, his voice dangerously even, "was there an intruder in my castle, undetected, and yet none of you useless guards managed to catch them?" No one dares to answer. The other high-ranking guards are present, standing along the edges of the room, their heads slightly bowed in shame. The captain shifts uncomfortably beside Heeseung, but he too says nothing.Ā
The king slams a fist onto the table. "A witch," he seethes. "We know it was a witch. What we don't know is how they got in, how they killed my men, and what the hell they were looking for!" Heeseung remains silent, staring ahead at the flickering torches along the stone walls. His mind replays the scene over and overāthe slaughtered guards, their twisted bodies, the power that had killed them. It was magic. Dark magic. "We found no trace of them," The captain finally says, his voice tight. "No lingering presence of a spell, no indication of their path in or out. It's like they vanished into thin air."Ā
"They used magic," The queen interjects coolly, her eyes sharp as a dagger. "That is what witches do." Her tone had Heeseungās skin prickling with a sense of fear. "Then why didn't we sense it? Why didnāt our barriersā" He started.Ā
"Because they are getting stronger," The king snaps. His gaze falls to Heeseung now, pinning him in place. "You have been keeping tabs on them, have you not? Watching their movements, ensuring they donāt have the power to rise again? Did you fail me, Heeseung?" The weight of the kingās words settle deep in his chest, heavy and suffocating. Heeseung straightens. "No, Your Majesty," he replies firmly. "We have been monitoring the council and the remaining witches closely. There has been no sign of a rebellion, no whisper of an attack. If there is an unknown witch at work, then they are acting alone."Ā
The king's lip curls. "And yet they managed to infiltrate my home." Heeseung has no response to that. The king exhales sharply, pinching the bridge of his nose. He is furious, but there is something else beneath his rageāsomething colder, something more dangerous. A deep-seated hatred, burning just beneath his skin. The queen tilts her head, studying Heeseung carefully. "And what of the stolen artifacts?" she asks. "Has there been any sign of what was taken?"Ā
"A vial of dragonās blood," One of the guards answers. "Nothing else was missing." The room goes deathly silent. Heeseung curses under his breath. The king's fingers twitch against the table. "Dragonās blood," he murmurs, his tone turning sharp. "And you all think nothing of this? Do you not know what that blood does?!" A shiver rolls through the room. Everyone knows. Dragonās blood enhances magic. Strengthens it. Sharpens it. The king rises from his seat slowly, his gaze flickering toward the shadows of the room. "This was no ordinary thief," he says, more to himself than anyone else. "This was a witch preparing for something." His voice hardens as he turns back to them. "Find them. I donāt care what it takesādouble the guards, search every crevice of the castle, and burn every witchās den in this kingdom if you have to. I want their head."Ā
A chorus of "Yes, Your Majesty," follows. Heeseung says nothing, simply inclining his head. He should be agreeing. He should be vowing to track this witch down, to put an end to this threat before it grows. And yet, Something gnaws at the edges of his mind, an uneasy whisper he refuses to acknowledge. The magic. The precision. The cleverness. His thoughts flickerājust for a secondāto her. To the princess. To her uncanny way of maneuvering around the castle, her endless curiosity, the way she always asks about magic, as if she understands it more than she lets on. The way she had moved against him in their sparring matchācontrolled, sharp, deadly. And last night. The way he had kissed her. The way she had felt against him when they were intimate. Could it beā? No. He shoves the thought away before it can take root. Itās impossible. The princess was raised in the east, far from the magic-infested ruins of this kingdom. There is no way she could be tied to witches. No way she could have been the one toā No. Heeseung forces the thought from his mind, locking it away. Itās just a coincidence. Thatās all. Nothing more.Ā
The castle is restless the next morning, an undercurrent of tension crackling through the air like a coming storm. Servants rush about, their voices hushed, their movements careful. Guards patrol every corridor, hands tight around their weapons. The nobles murmur amongst themselves, their eyes darting toward the throne room as whispers slither through the grand halls. "A witch," someone hisses near you as you glide past. "Inside the castle. Undetected. Can you imagine?" Another voice responds just as high pitched "Brazen enough to try and kill the king!" You roll your eyes, a smirk on your face. "They should burn them all, just like before." Your jaw tightens, your nails pressing into your palms so hard they nearly break skin. You keep walking, silent, unassuming. But with every step, the whispers become harder to ignore. Thenā words that would make any daughter break. "Itās just like what happened years ago... with herāwith that whore of a witch."Ā
Your breath halts. Ahead of you, a gilded sitting room lies open, sunlight spilling through arched windows onto plush velvet furniture. A small group of noblewomen are gathered there, draped in silks, laughter like chiming bells. They sip from delicate porcelain teacups, their words laced with venom, utterly unaware of the storm they are inviting upon themselves. "She thought she could kill the kingāthought she was worthy of a crown instead.āĀ
"And look where she ended upāstripped of her magic, betrayed by her own people, her head taken before she could even beg for mercy." The edges of your vision darken only anger simmering in your blood. You step closer, silent as a shadow. "They should have burned her body instead of scattering it like filth." Your blood roars in your ears, your heart pounding in your chest. "At least the king took a trophy," one of the women sneers, swirling her tea idly. "That ring of hersāhow pathetic. As if a simple bauble could ever make a witch a queen." The world around you stills at the realization. Your mother. They were talking about your mother. Your breathing slows. The fire inside you, carefully stoked and contained for so long, now flares into something feral, something uncontrollable.Ā
But they don't know. They don't know who you are, what you're capable of. They don't know that your anger speaks for itself and that your magic is the greatest weapon you yield, but they were about to find out. A slow, measured breath slips past your lips. The air hums with power as you lift your fingers, just enough to let your magic slither through them. Invisible. Deadly. The woman in the center, the one with the sharpest tongue, freezes mid-sip. Her teacup hovers just below her lips. She gasps, eyes going wide but then her whole body stiffens. A shudder rolls through her frame, the muscles in her throat working against an invisible force. The porcelain cup slips from her fingers, shattering against the floor. A single crack, and thenāsnap.Ā
Her head jerks violently to the side, the sickening sound of bone breaking echoing through the room. She crumples instantly, collapsing forward onto the table, lifeless. There was a moment of silence, a fleeting moment you quite enjoyed. But thenā screams. Blood curdling screams that brought you only joy. The other women scramble back, knocking over teacups and trays in their blind panic. One of them shrieks, hands clamped over her mouth as she stares in horror at the limp, twisted form before her. You let the sound wash over you, slow satisfaction curling through your chest. Without a word, you turn on your heel and walk away, your steps light, effortless. The wails of the noblewomen ring through the corridor behind you, a discordant symphony of fear and hysteria, but you don't look back. You donāt have to. Because for the first time in years, you feel like your motherās daughter.Ā
Evening descends upon the castle, casting long shadows through the stone corridors. You sit by your vanity, absently tracing the rim of a goblet with your fingertip, waiting. The distant sounds of hurried footsteps and hushed voices in the halls tell you the kingdom is still shaken, still trying to piece together what happened this morning, and at the ball. A knock raps at your chamber door and you already know who it is. You can sense, feel him. "Come in," you call, voice smooth, controlled. The door creaks open, and Heeseung steps in, his usual composed demeanor in place, but thereās something tense about the way his shoulders sit. His eyes flick over youāyour carefully arranged hair, the gown draped over your form, the utter calmness in your posture. His gaze lingers on your face a beat too long before he clears his throat. "Dinner," he says simply.Ā
You arch a brow. "Just us?" This would be the first time since youāve arrived where you wouldn't be having dinner with the King and Queen. "The king and queen are otherwise occupied. Security measures." Heeseung mutters his gaze avoiding yours. "How intimate," you remark dryly, standing and brushing past him. His scent lingersāleather, steel, something faintly smoky. You donāt miss the way he exhales sharply, as if steeling himself, before following after you.Ā
The dining chamber is much smaller than the grand halls youāre used to. The table is modest in comparison, only set for two. Silver candleholders flicker between the untouched dishes. The air is thickātoo quiet, too heavy with something unspoken. You take your seat, watching Heeseung as he settles into his own across from you. Heās stiff, guarded, too preoccupied with the food before him to even look at you. You let the silence drag, waiting for him to say something. But of course, he doesnāt. You stab a piece of meat with your fork. "Are we going to pretend it didnāt happen?" His eyes snap up to you narrowing slightly as if to dare you to keep going. So, in turn you do. Testing the limits was your favorite pastime after all. You tilt your head, feigning innocence. "The sex," you clarify, twirling the utensil between your fingers. Heeseung tenses. "This is neither the time nor the place."Ā
"Then when is, Heeseung?" You lean forward slightly, voice laced with challenge. "After another failed assassination attempt? Perhaps over breakfast? Maybe I should schedule it between my courtly duties and plotting treason." His jaw tightens. "Donāt," he warns. His cool tone had you hot. You had to remind yourself that this was not the time for that. You roll your eyes, exhaling dramatically. "Youāre being ridiculous."Ā
He sets his knife down with a sharp clink, the muscles in his arms flexing as he pushes his chair back. "Come with me." You blink, caught off guard as he stands abruptly and moves to your side. Before you can protest, his fingers curl around your wristānot harsh, but firm. "Heeseungā"Ā
"Not here," he mutters, already dragging you from your seat. You follow, your pulse a slow, deliberate thrum beneath your skin. He doesnāt let go, guiding you through the corridors with determined strides, past watchful guards and dimly lit hallways. Then, The library doors swing open, swallowing you both into the quiet expanse of towering shelves and candlelight. The scent of parchment and ink wraps around you, thick and familiar. Heeseung doesnāt stop until youāre deep inside, far from any prying eyes. He finally releases you, exhaling sharply as he runs a hand through his hair. "You shouldnāt talk about it so carelessly." You cross your arms. "Why not?"
"Because itās dangerous." His voice is low, but edged with something raw. "Because it shouldnāt have happened."A slow smirk tugs at your lips. "But it did." Heeseung looks at you thenāreally looks at you. His expression flickers between frustration and something else, something that makes your breath hitch for just a fraction of a second. "Tell me," you continue, stepping closer, forcing him to meet your gaze. "Are you regretting it?" His lips part slightly, but no words come out. His fingers twitch at his sides, as if resisting the urge to reach for you. You tilt your head. "Or are you afraid of what it means?" His silence is answer enough.Ā
The tension in the library crackles like a storm on the verge of breaking. The dim candlelight flickers, casting shadows across the towering shelves and the ancient tomes lining them. Heeseung is still standing stiffly before you, arms crossed, jaw clenchedālike if he lets himself relax for even a moment, everything will spiral out of control. āWe canāt,ā he says finally, his voice tight, like heās forcing the words out. āIf anyone caught usāif the king found outāweād both be dead.ā You let out a soft, amused laugh, tilting your head. āIs that what youāre so worried about?ā You take a step closer, watching the way his body reactsāhow his breath shortens, how his fingers flex. āDeath?ā His brows knit together. āItās not funny.āĀ
āOn the contrary,ā you murmur, your voice teasing, edged with something darker. āItās absolutely hilarious. The great Heeseung, right-hand to the king, reduced to a nervous wreck over a kiss and a quick fuck.ā His eyes flash with irritation. āThatās notāāĀ
āNot what?ā Youāre in front of him now, close enough to catch the faint scent of steel and cedarwood clinging to him. āNot true?ā He swallows hard but doesnāt move away, anyone could see that he wanted you just as much as you wanted him. He craved you and you were in no position to deny him of that satiationĀ
āWe canāt keep doing this,ā he grits out, though the way his gaze flickers to your lips betrays him. āItās dangerous.ā You hum, tilting your head, running your fingers down the front of his shirt like youāre smoothing out invisible creases. His breath catches. āDangerous is what makes it exciting,ā you whisper, fingers drifting lower, pressing lightly against his stomach. His muscles tense under your touch, like heās fighting himself, fighting this, fighting you. āStop,ā he breathes, though he makes no move to actually stop you.Ā
You smirk. āYou donāt want me to stop.ā His hands clench at his sides, a war waging within him, but you know youāve already won. You can feel it in the way his body leans ever so slightly toward yours, in the way his breath turns heavier. āTell me to go,ā you challenge, your voice softer now, but no less daring. āTell me you donāt want this.ā Silence. And suddenly, A sharp inhale, a flicker of something feral in his eyes. And then his hands are on youāgripping your waist, pulling you forward in one swift motion until your back is pressed against the bookshelf behind you. Your breath stutters just as his lips crash into yours, no hesitation this time, no careful restraint. Itās all heat and desperation, months of tension unraveling at once. He kisses you like heās trying to memorize every inch of you, like heās making up for lost time, for all the times heās told himself no when his body screamed yes.Ā
Your hands tangle in his hair, fingers pulling, dragging him impossibly closer. He groans against your mouth, the sound vibrating through you, sending heat pooling low in your stomach. You press up against him, feeling the way his body shudders at the contact. His fingers dig into your hips, bruising, possessive, like heās trying to imprint himself onto you. Itās reckless. Itās foolish. And neither of you care. Too caught up on the feeling of one another to carefully consider what you could lose, only what you could gain. The library was quite save for the two of you. Your heavy breathing the only sound in the grand room. Heeseungās hands gripped at your skirts much like he did the other night.Ā
He lifted them high enough to expose you. āIāve been thinking about this pretty little pussy since the other night.ā He grunted. āWe donāt have enough time but I think I can take a little taste canāt i?ā You were nodding before he could even get the words out, your head bobbing up and down in excitement. Pure unadulterated excitement. It was comical, almost pathetic but you didn't care, you needed him anyway you could get him. Heeseung fell to his knees, your skirts still tightly gripped in his hands.Ā
āI love when a man kneels to me.ā You snicker, a laugh falling from your lips in a cascade. āJust a second ago you were pulling away, now look at you.ā You were teasing with him, toying around with him. His small smile told you he didn't really seem to mind your teasing, if anything it fueled his desires for you.Ā
āI may be kneeling princess but soon you're going to be the one begging like a peasant.ā He smirked up at you, the edges of his mouth slightly curved sexily. The heat simmerring in your belly only heightened your need for him and soon you were whining, lifting your hips to show him just how much you needed him to do just something, anything. āDonāt you worry.ā He tsked āIām going to take such good care of you.āĀ
Without another words his mouth was on you, his tongue lapping at you like no tomorrow. Your hands found purchase on his shoulder as you steadied yourself. āOh my god.ā You hissed, biting your lip to keep your noises at bay. Heeseung groaned against your core, the vibrations sending tingles up your spine and furthering the pleasure coursing through your veins. His hands found your hips gripping them tightly in his hands under your gown skirts.Ā
Your hands made their way from the bookshelf behind you down your own body until they reached your breasts cupping them in your hands for extra stimulant, Heeseungās tongue explored every inch of your most sensitive bud sucking on it like his life depended on it. You tried your best to keep your noises at bay as you occasionally let a squeak and small moan out here and there.Ā
Heeseung continued to suck and lick at you, your end hearing like a freight train. āI-iām almost-ā You gasped, finding it hard to cough the words out. āI know.ā Heeseung said smugly as he came up for air. Your legs shook, thankful for Heeseungās hands holding you upright. If it weren't for that you would surely be a puddle of yourself on the floor before you. It took almost no time for your end to slam into you. A single squeak left your lips before you're clamping your hand over your mouth to silence yourself. Heeseung continues to work on you throughout your orgasm granting you a spectacular end.Ā
Heeseung let go of your thighs, straightening himself out as you caught your breath. Much like the garden the two of you only stared at each other in silence, not daring to utter even a single word. The silence was short lived as the sound of rustling outside the library tore the two of you apart, breaking the haze you were currently in. Luckily whoever was outside didn't feel the need to enter the library but the noise itself had Heeseung on edge. āWe should get you to your chambers.ā He mumbled, reaching a hand out for you to take. You stared at it for a moment as if it were a foreign object you had never seen before. You took his hand in yours letting him guide you out of the library doors.Ā Ā
The candlelight flickers in Heeseungās chambers, casting restless shadows against the stone walls. He lays on his back in bed, eyes trained on the ceiling, his body exhausted but his mind refusing to quiet. He knows what theyāre doing is reckless. Stupid, even. He runs a hand down his face, trying to scrub away the memories of herāher scent, her warmth, the way she pressed against him in the library as if she knew exactly what kind of power she had over him. Heeseung has always prided himself on his discipline, on his control. But with her⦠He groans and turns onto his side, staring at the dying embers in the fireplace. His duty is to the kingdom. To the king. To law and order. If anyone found out about thisāabout themāthere would be no mercy. No hesitation. The king would have his head on a spike, and hersāhers would be paraded through the streets as a warning.Ā
His stomach churns at the thought. But then, a far more dangerous thought slithers in, unbidden. What if they ran? The idea is so ridiculous he almost laughs. He doesnāt run. He doesnāt abandon his duty. But then he thinks of her againāof the fire in her eyes, of the way she moves like she belongs to no one but herself. Sheās different. Not just from the princesses heās knownāmeek, obedient, trained to be silent. No, sheās different from everyone. The way she speaks. The way she carries herself. The way she looks at him like sheās measuring him up, testing him, waiting to see what heāll do next. The way she knows thingsāthings she shouldnāt. A seed of suspicion takes root in his mind.Ā
What if sheās not who she says she is? He thinks of the whispers, the rumors in the castle, the kingās paranoia about witches. He thinks of the way the attack at the ball had no clear culprit, no weapon, no trace. And then he thinks of herāof the way she smiles to herself when she thinks no one is looking, like sheās keeping a secret the world isnāt ready for. No. Heeseung shakes his head, as if to physically push the thought away. Heās being ridiculous. Sheās just⦠unpredictable. Stubborn. Impossible. But not a witch. He refuses to believe that.Ā
The next morning, the castle is alive with tension. Servants whisper behind cupped hands, guards double in numbers at every corridor, and the heavy clang of armor fills the halls. At breakfast, the king and queen stand before the court, their expressions grave. The kingās voice is sharp, cutting through the uneasy murmurs. "Until we discover the source of this treachery, the castle will remain under lockdown. No one leaves, no one enters without my explicit permission. Anyone found conspiring against the crown will be executed on sight." A chill runs through the room. Your grip tightens around your fork until your knuckles ache. Lockdown. The word presses against you like an iron cage, closing in.Ā
This means you're getting closer. The king is scared. He knows his time is running out. You just need one final way to get to him. But then, your mind betrays you. Because instead of the king, instead of strategy and bloodshed, instead of magicāyour thoughts drift to him. Heeseung. You can feel his eyes on you, watching from across the room. Even now, you know heās keeping track of your every move, shadowing your steps in silence. You remember the way his touch lingered, the way his lips felt against yours, the way he made you forgetājust for a momentāwho you are, what you are meant to do. And for one foolish, fleeting second, you let yourself wonder. What if things were different? What if you werenāt bound by revenge, by the weight of your motherās legacy? What if you were just a girl, and he were just a boy? But you are not just a girl. And he is not just a boy. You shove the thoughts down, swallowing hard. You call yourself a fool for falling into something so dangerous, so impossible. For even considering the possibility of anything beyond this mission. You are here for one purpose. And soon, the king will be dead.Ā
The silence between you is louder than it has ever been as you walk to your rooms. The castle corridors stretch long and empty, the flickering torchlight casting your shadows against the cold stone walls. Each step echoes, the sound ringing in your ears, a cruel reminder that this night is slipping away too fast. Heeseung walks beside you, quiet as ever, his posture rigid with something unreadable. But you can feel it. The weight of the things left unsaid. The hesitation in the way he slows his pace just enough, like heās not quite ready for this walk to end. Neither are you. And yet, the door to your chambers appears before you too soon.Ā
You stop. Heeseung does too, standing just a breath away, his gaze unreadable in the dim lighting. Your heart hammers against your ribs. It feels unbearableāthis thing stretching between you. The knowledge that the moment you step inside this room, something will shift. You wonāt be able to undo it. So you do the only thing you can. You grab his collar and pull him to you, crashing your lips against his.Ā
Heeseung tenses, his breath catching against your mouth. For a fraction of a second, he doesnāt move, stunned by your sudden desperation. Then, he breaks. His hands find your waist, gripping tight as he kisses you back with something raw, something close to ruin. Itās not soft, itās not slowāitās everything youāre both afraid to say. Itās everything youāre about to lose. our fingers tangle in the fabric of his shirt, anchoring yourself to him, trying to pull him closer, closer, closerābecause this is the last time. You feel it in the way his hands tremble against you, in the way his breath shudders when he pulls away just slightly, his forehead pressing to yours. "Waitā" he starts, his voice hoarse, hesitant, but you shake your head instantly, your grip tightening on his shirt. "Donātā" your whisper barely makes it past your lips. Your eyes burn, your throat tight. "Please donāt say anything."Ā
Heeseung swallows thickly. His hands twitch at your waist before they slowly fall away. You take a step back. Then another and the distance feels unbearable. Your fingers ghost over the doorknob, hesitating for a fraction of a second before you turn it, stepping inside. You donāt dare look at him again. You canāt. The door closes between you with a soft, final click. You lean against it, pressing your forehead to the wood, your breath shaking as you squeeze your eyes shut. On the other side, you know heās still there. You can feel him. Standing in the hallway, hands clenched into fists, fighting the same war you are. Seconds pass. Then minutes. And thenāhis footsteps, Slow. Hesitant. Fading. When he finally walks away, he takes a piece of you with him. And when you slide to the floor, pressing your trembling fingers to your lips, you wonder if youāll ever get it back. You wonder if what you were doing was worth it, and you determine it is. This was bigger than you, bigger than what you felt for Heeseung and you had to continue no matter how much it hurt.Ā
You sit there for what feels like hours, your back pressed against the door, your fingers still tingling from the ghost of Heeseungās touch. You curse yourself. How could you be so stupid? Falling in love with the captain of the guardāthe kingās most loyal soldier. It was reckless. Dangerous. A mistake you never should have allowed to happen. You clench your fists against your dress, trying to push away the warmth still lingering on your skin from where his hands had been. But no matter how much you tell yourself it was foolish, your heart still aches. Because for a moment, just a moment, you had allowed yourself to feel. You shake your head, jaw tightening, because love just wasnāt enough. Love wasnāt enough to stop you, it couldn't be. Not when the weight of your motherās death still sat heavy in your chest. Not when the memories of your people being hunted and slaughtered played over and over in your mind like a curse that would never leave you.Ā
The king needed to die and you needed to be the one to do it. If not for your mother, then for yourself. You push yourself up from the floor, shaking off the weakness trying to sink into your bones. You werenāt weak. You werenāt fragile. You were ruthless. A damn good witch. No matter what your aunt had said. No matter how the coven had doubted you. No matter how Heeseung had looked at you as if you were something to be protected, when all your life, you had fought to stand on your own. You move across the room, mind already calculating. You would need to act fast. The castle was locked down, but that meant the kingās guard would be scattered, spread thin. You could use that. You could use them. A smile, slow and sharp, spreads across your lips. No matter how much your heart screamed against itāno matter how much Heeseungās face haunted youāyou would not falter. Because this was your destiny and you would see it through to the end.Ā
Morning light filters through the grand windows of your chambers, casting golden streaks across the floor, but you donāt move from the edge of your bed. Your plan is set. You should feel ready. Steady. But instead, your hands wonāt stop trembling. You press your palms against your lap, willing the weakness away. A knock sounds at your door. You know who it is before he speaks. āPrincess.ā Heeseungās voice is firm, but thereās an underlying softness beneath it. āI brought you breakfast.ā You force yourself to stand, moving with a measured slowness as you approach the door. You canāt afford to falter now.Ā
āāWhen you open it, heās standing there, tray in hand, gaze unreadable. His dark eyes search yours for somethingāmaybe a sign that youāre okay, maybe something more. You donāt give him anything. You reach for the tray, but before you can grab it, Heeseungās foot moves forward, blocking the door from shutting in his face. You sigh sharply. āMove.āĀ
āNo.ā His eyes narrow, suspicion creeping into his voice. āYouāve been locked away all morning. Whatās going on?āĀ
āāāNothing.ā You hiss, silently begging for him to just leave. Heeseung scoffs. āYou expect me to believe that?āĀ
You glare at him. āWhy do you care?ā He steps inside before you can stop him, setting the tray on the nearby table. Then, without hesitation, he turns to you and takes your hands in his. You stiffen. āLet go.ā He doesnāt. His grip is warm, steadyājust like it was the night before when you tried to push him away. āTell me the truth,ā he says. āWhatās wrong?ā You grit your teeth. āI told you, nothing isāāĀ
āI donāt believe you.ā You yank your hands away, stepping back. āThen youāre a fool.ā Heeseung exhales sharply. āMaybe I am.ā You scoff, crossing your arms. āEverything we did was a mistake.ā Something flickers across his face, quick and sharp. Hurt. Good, it's better this way. Youāve been selfishly allowing yourself to fall in love with someone you can never truly have. You lift your chin higher, forcing yourself to deliver the final blow. āI used you, Heeseung. You were convenient. Thatās all.āĀ
His jaw tightens, but he doesnāt move. He doesnāt lash out. He doesnāt give you what you want. He just looks at you. It infuriates you. āYou should be angry,ā you snap. āYou should hate me.āĀ
āI donāt.ā He argues, his voice rough with unshed emotion. āWhy not?ā You asked. You were desperate for him to stop, to give up. But he doesn't. āBecause I know you.ā His voice is quiet now, but thereās an undeniable strength beneath it. āAnd I know youāre lying.ā Your breath catches.Ā
Heeseung steps closer, gaze never wavering. āIf you want to hurt me, youāll have to do better than that.ā You clench your fists. āI donāt care about you.ā His lips twitch, and then he laughs.Ā Heeseungās laugh was a melody you wished you could bottle and keep forever, in a tiny little vial tucked away to keep the memory of this moment and how you felt in it alive. Even if fleeting, it would be worth it. To remember that even when you wished he would give you up and leave, he wouldnāt. āYou really expect me to believe that?āĀ
āYes.ā He just stares at you. Unmoved. Unyielding. And then he does something unexpectedāhe lifts a hand and gently cups your cheek. Your entire body locks up. His touch is careful, hesitant, like heās waiting for you to pull away. But you donāt. His thumb brushes along your cheekbone, voice dropping lower. āTell me you feel nothing, and Iāll leave right now.ā You swallow hard. The words are right there. You can say them. You should say them. But your throat closes up. Silence stretches between you. Heeseung exhales, a ghost of a smile tugging at his lips, but thereās no humor in it. Just quiet understanding. āYou can lie all you want,ā he murmurs. āBut not to me.ā His hand falls away. You donāt realize youāre holding your breath until he steps back. āIf you donāt want me here, say the word,ā he says. āAnd Iāll go.āĀ
āDonāt go.ā The words slip from your lips before you can stop them, quiet but heavy with meaning. Heeseung freezes. His hand, which had been reaching for the door, stills. The tension in his shoulders tightens as he slowly turns back toward you, his dark eyes searching yours. He looks almost hesitant, like heās bracing for something. He waits for you to take it back, for you to tell him he misheard. But you donāt do that, instead you stand there looking at him like heās the only thing keeping you tethered to this world. And maybe, for tonight, he is.Ā
Heeseung crosses the room in a heartbeat. His hands come up to cradle your face, his touch firm yet gentle, like heās afraid youāll shatter. And then his lips are on yoursāhot, desperate, claiming. You kiss him back just as fiercely, your fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him impossibly closer. You can taste the longing, the fear, the hunger between you, and it terrifies you how much you need this. How much you need him. Clothes fall away, fingers trace over bare skin, mapping out the parts of you no one else has ever touched. His lips leave a burning trail along your neck, your shoulders, your collarbone. Every kiss feels like a promise neither of you can keep. This is different from the garden and the library. The emotions are stronger, the need more than just lust. He lays you down with a reverence that makes your chest ache, his body covering yours, warm and solid and real. And for a little while, just a little while, you allow yourself to forget. Forget why youāre here. Forget what you have to do. Forget that youāll never get to have this again. Forget that, that thought scares you more than anything else. And when itās over, when youāre lying in his arms, listening to the slow, steady rhythm of his heartbeat, the weight of reality crashes down on you.Ā
Tears slip from your eyes before you can stop them. Heeseung notices immediately. He shifts beside you, propping himself up on his elbow to look down at you. His fingers trace lightly over your cheek, catching a stray tear. āWhatās wrong?ā His voice is hoarse, gentle. You shake your head, forcing a small, unconvincing smile. āNothing.ā Cursing yourself for looking so brittle, so weak. His brow furrows, unconvinced. āYouāre crying,ā he says, brushing another tear away with his thumb. āThatās not nothing.āĀ
You inhale sharply, turning your head away. Because if you look at himāif you really look at himāyouāll break. You canāt afford to break. Heeseung shifts again, his body warm against yours. Then, out of nowhere, he says something that steals the air from your lungs. āLetās leave.ā Your breath catches in your throat. You turn your head back toward him, your lips parting in disbelief. āWhat?āĀ
āLetās leave,ā he repeats, his voice surer now. āTonight. Right now. Just the two of us.ā You sit up, clutching the sheet to your chest. āHeeseung, you donāt know what youāre saying.ā Leaving would mean that coming here was for nothing. You couldn't do that, you needed to see this through for your mother. āYes, I do.ā He sits up too, his hands reaching for yours. āWe can leave this place behind. Disappear. Go somewhere no one will find us. Weāll figure it out. Together.ā
Your heart clenches so hard itās painful. He means it. He really means it, and youāre going to have to deny him. You can see it in his eyes, the unwavering sincerity, the quiet desperation. Heās not just saying it to comfort you. He truly believes you could run away, start over, be free. And for a fleeting moment, you want to believe it too. But you canāt. You squeeze your eyes shut. āYou donāt know the real me, Heeseung.ā He exhales a soft, disbelieving laugh. That goddamn laugh. āOf course, I do.āĀ
āNo,ā you whisper, shaking your head. āYou donāt.ā Heeseung lifts your hand, pressing a lingering kiss to your knuckles. His lips brush against your skin as he speaks. āI know that you hate being treated like youāre fragile. That you sneak out just because you can. That you act like you donāt care, but you do. More than anyone Iāve ever met.ā His voice lowers, softer now. āI know you pretend to be heartless, but youāre not. Youāre stubborn and reckless and the smartest person Iāve ever known.ā Heeseung tilts your chin up, forcing you to meet his gaze. āI know you,ā he says. āAnd I love you.ā Your breath shudders.Ā
Heeseung has no idea how much those words shatter you. Because for all the ways he knows youāfor all the truths heās uncoveredāheās still blind to the one that matters most. You swallow against the lump in your throat. āI canāt.ā His brows draw together. āCanāt what?ā You donāt answer. You canāt. He studies you for a long moment, realization flickering in his gaze. āThereās something youāre not telling me,ā he says quietly.Ā
You close your eyes, gripping the sheets beneath you. Heeseungās voice drops lower. āWhat is it?ā Silence stretches between you, thick with unspoken words. Then, finally, you whisper, āPlease⦠just go.ā The pain from the moment was unbearable. Having to turn him away when you didn't want to. When your heart screamed at you to pull him close and never let go. Pain flashes across his face. His jaw clenches, his throat bobbing with the effort to swallow whatever he wants to say. He stands, gathering his clothes in silence. You stay where you are, gripping the sheets, digging your nails into the fabric to keep from calling him back. Before he leaves, he pauses at the door. He turns his head just slightly, his voice barely above a whisper. āI love you.ā Then he walks out. And this time, you let him go.Ā
Something was wrong. Heeseung could feel it. Being called to the Kingās quarters almost immediately after returning to his rooms after his night with the princess. Something was wrong. Heeseung barely makes it to the kingās quarters before the weight in his chest starts to crush him. The halls are lined with guards, their grips tight on their weapons, their expressions grim. The air crackles with tension, heavy and suffocating. It feels like a noose tightening around his throat. He forces himself forward, each step heavier than the last. The moment he steps inside, he sees them. The King, the Queen And a group of high-ranking officials gathered around a long table, their faces drawn in grim lines. The candlelight flickers ominously, casting eerie shadows across the room. The doors slam shut behind him and Heeseung swears his heart in his stomach bile rising up his throat.Ā
āMy king,ā he greets, bowing his head. He was trying to be graceful, trying to mask the pure terror coursing through his veins. The king doesnāt acknowledge the gesture. Instead, he lifts his gaze, sharp and knowing, and says, āCaptain. Tell me⦠what do you know about the princess?ā Heeseungās heart stutters in his chest. He swallows thickly, keeping his voice steady. āWhat do you mean, Your Majesty?ā The king doesnāt answer right away, furthering Heeseungās racing heart. Something was wrong. Instead, he picks up a folded parchment from the table. Heeseung notices the broken wax sealāan unfamiliar crest pressed into the dried crimson wax. āThese letters,ā the king begins, āhave come from her kingdom.ā His tone is measured, calmābut thereās something deadly lurking beneath the surface. āThey have been arriving for weeks. All addressed to the princess.āĀ
Something cold curls in Heeseungās stomach. āThen⦠why hasnāt she responded?ā Heeseung asks carefully, forcing the words past his lips. āThat is the question, isnāt it?ā the king muses. Then he slams something onto the table. Itās a portrait. The parchment unfurls slightly from the impact, revealing a detailed oil painting of a young woman. Heeseungās breath catches. Itās her. Or at least⦠itās supposed to be. But it isnāt her. Not the woman he kissed. Not the woman he made love to. Not the woman he held in his arms. His stomach twists violently. The girl in the portrait has the same regal posture, the same air of nobility, the same crown resting atop her carefully styled hair. But the features are all wrong. The shape of her nose, the curve of her lips, the sharpness of her jawlineānone of them belong to the woman he knows.Ā
The realization crashes into him like a blow to the chest. āNo,ā he breathes, shaking his head. āThatās notāā āNot the girl staying in our castle?ā The King finishes, his lips curling into something almost amused. The room feels like itās closing in. His lungs wonāt fill properly. His ribs feel too tight, too constricted. His world is breaking apart piece by piece. How could she have lied so long? To everyone. To him? Is that what she meant when she said he didn't know the real her? The king leans back in his chair, tapping his fingers against the wooden armrest. āThis is the real princess,ā he says, voice laced with cruel amusement. āThe one we were supposed to receive.āĀ
The blood in Heeseungās veins turns to ice. His ears ring. His heart pounds so loudly itās deafening. āSheās an imposter,ā The King states plainly, his voice hard and unwavering. The Queen makes a disgusted noise. āNot just an imposter,ā she sneers. āA witch.ā The word slices through Heeseung like a blade toppling his world over. Shattering his entire being. A witch? No. It couldn't be. Something.is.wrong. He doesnāt move. He doesnāt speak. He canāt.Ā
āSheās been hunting me,ā the king continues, his voice dripping with satisfaction, as if heās already won. āPlanning my execution under my very roof.ā Heeseung wants to deny it. Wants to fight it. Wants to claim itās impossible. But deep down, something inside him unravels. Because it is possible. It makes sense. The late-night disappearances. The questions she never answered. The flashes of power he felt but ignored. The way she always seemed to have a secret buried behind her eyes. The realization knocks the air from his lungs. He had suspected. He had wondered. But he never believed. Because believing would mean losing her. And nowāNow, he has lost her. A sharp breath rattles through his chest. He forces himself to stay still, to keep his expression unreadable, to keep the pain from showing. But itās there. Itās tearing him apart from the inside out.
He can still feel her touch, still taste her on his lips. Still hear the way her voice broke when she told him she couldnāt. She had known this moment was coming. Thatās why she kissed him like it was the last time. Thatās why she cried. She knew. And she let him love her anyway. āFind her,ā the king commands, dragging Heeseung back to the present. āSearch the castle. The kingdom. I want that witchās head.ā Heeseung stiffens. The words are an execution order. His pulse roars in his ears. He forces himself to bow, to keep his voice steady as he murmurs, āYes, Your Majesty.ā But his hands tremble as he clenches them into fists. Because for the first time in his life, he doesnāt know what to do. His loyalty is to the king. His duty is to the crown. But his heartā His heart belongs to her. And no matter how much he tries to bury itāno matter how much it kills himā It always will. Heeseung feels like heās standing outside of his own body, watching the scene unfold as if itās happening to someone else. The kingās voice slices through the thick silence.Ā
āThe body that was found, dumped from the carriage that nightā¦ā He leans forward, his expression grave yet victorious, as if heās piecing together a puzzle heād been struggling with for too long. āIt was her. The real princess.ā A sick, suffocating weight crashes down on Heeseungās chest. He remembers that night. The gruesome discovery. The way the body had been barely recognizable, left for the elements like discarded waste. At the time, they had assumed it was the work of bandits, of those who wanted to send a message to the crown. But it wasnāt. It was her. She had done it. She had killed the princess. Taken her place. Deceived them all. She had deceived him. Heeseung sways slightly, his grip tightening at his sides.Ā
āāāCaptain.ā His head jerks up at the kingās call. The king watches him carefully, expression unreadable, before he asks, āDo you have it on you?ā For a moment, Heeseung doesnāt understand. Then the king clarifies. āThe witchās knife.ā The words nearly send Heeseung to his knees. His fingers twitch at his belt, where the blade sits, unseen but ever-presentāa weapon forged to cut through the magic that ran through the veins of people like her. He feels sick. Heeseung grits his teeth, schooling his expression into one of careful indifference. āYes,ā he says, forcing his voice to remain even. āI have it.āĀ
The king hums in approval. āGood,ā he says. āThen itās time to put it to use.ā The words ring through Heeseungās skull like a war drum. āBring her to me,ā the king orders. āI want that witch dragged before me in chains.ā His gaze flickers to Heeseungās belt, where the blade rests. āAnd you will be the one to strike her down.ā The world tilts. Heeseung can hear his own breathing, shallow and uneven. He has killed before. It is his duty. His purpose. His role. But never like this. Never her. Never the only person who has ever made him feel. He forces himself to nod. It is the only response he can manage without his voice betraying him. The king smirks in satisfaction, leaning back in his chair. āGo,ā he commands. āFind her.ā Heeseung turns stiffly, barely hearing the murmurs of approval from the gathered officials, The Queenās quiet mutter of disgust. He walks toward the doors, each step heavier than the last. His fingers brush against the hilt of the knife. The one meant for her. The woman he kissed. The woman he loved. His heart cracks wide open, but there is no time to bleed. Because the next time he sees herā He will have to kill her. Something was wrong.Ā
The air is thick with dampness, the scent of mold and stone clinging to your skin as you navigate the winding tunnels beneath the castle. Your heart pounds against your ribs, steady and strong, the only thing grounding you as you press forward. You donāt have much time. If everything goes according to plan, the king wonāt see the next sunrise. The thought steadies you. You move like a shadow through the catacombs, tracing the steps you memorized, hands gliding along the rough walls. You can feel the pulse of magic thrumming in the stone, remnants of old spells woven into the foundations of the castle. If you close your eyes, you can almost hear whispers, ghosts of the past murmuring secrets only the dead could know.Ā
You shake off the feeling. Thereās no room for hesitation. Not now. Your plan is simpleāefficient. Slip into the kingās chambers through the passage hidden beneath the castle, snap his neck, and vanish before anyone can piece together what happened. No spells. No weapons. Just you. Just justice. The idea of feeling his life slip between your fingers, of watching the fear dawn in his eyes when he realizes his power canāt save himāitās almost intoxicating. But then he flickers in your mind. Heeseung. For a single, damning moment, you think of the way he looked at you last night, the way his hands held you like you were something precious. How his voice had cracked when he told you he loved you. And how you said nothing in return. Your throat tightens, but you shove it down. Love is not enough to stop what must be done. You push forward. The tunnels twist and stretch before you, endless in their darkness, but you know exactly where you're going. The passage that leads into the kingās private chambers is ahead. Youāre nearly thereā Cold steel presses against your throat.
You stop. Your body tenses, every instinct in you screaming to move, to fight, but the blade is firm, unforgiving. A single wrong move could end it all before you even reach the king. You feel power coming from it. Radiating off of it. It stung like poison. Was this a witch killing knife?Ā
"Going somewhere?" The voice is low, familiar, and it guts you. Your pulse jumps. Slowly, carefully, you tilt your head just enough to see him. Heeseung. Oh god it was Heeseung. His face is carved from stone, eyes dark, unreadable. The knife in his hand does not waver. He looked destroyed, shattered against beyond repair. But he also looked angry, he knew. He knew who you were and even though that should scare you it didn't. You had oddly felt a sense of overwhelming relief. You weren't hiding from him anymore. Your breath comes slow, measured. āMove.ā
He doesnāt. You try again, this time sharper, steel behind your words. āMove, Heeseung.ā His grip tightens. āTell me where youāre going.ā His voice is quiet, but thereās something underneath it, something raw. A slow, careful inhale. āYou already know.ā There was no use in lying to him anymore. You refused to do it, you owed him that much at least. His jaw tenses. A muscle in his cheek jumps. But he doesnāt move the blade. The cold metal seeping into your skin stinging you and boiling your blood. A small part of you knew you deserved this. For lying to him for so long, for allowing yourself to fall in love with a man who you could never have. A man who would hate the person, the thing you truly were. He didn't know the real you. You had warned him. for the first time since you entered the tunnels, doubt creeps in. Not in your plan. Not in your abilities. But in him. Would he really stop you? Would he reallyā would he kill you?Ā
The reality hurt. Youād kill him if you had to, no matter how much you didn't want to. No matter how much it would hurt you, end you even. You'd do it. For your mother and her legacy you'd do what you had to do. It's what you came here for. āYou donāt want to do this,ā you whisper, softer this time. Heeseung exhales sharply through his nose. āDonāt I?ā The words land like a blow. Your fingers twitch at your sides. You could use magic. Could throw him back, run before he can get up. But you donāt. Instead, you say, āI know you.ā Heeseung flinches. Not visiblyāno, no one else would noticeābut you do. You see the slight hitch in his breath, the way his grip falters for just a moment. Then, in a voice barely above a whisperā āYou donāt know me at all.āĀ
The words sink into your skin, cold and unrelenting. Your chest tightens. And for the first timeā You wonder if you've already lost. No matter what happened in this tunnel you were losing. The blade at your throat is trembling. Not steady. Not certain. Not like Heeseung at all. His breath is ragged, uneven, as if the very air around him is too thick to swallow. His grip on the hilt of his knife is white-knuckled, his knuckles straining under the force of it, but itās not just from anger. Itās something deeperāsomething fragile, teetering on the edge of breaking.Ā
āIs it true?ā His voice is hoarse, almost quiet, but the weight of it crashes into you like a tidal wave. You donāt answer. You canāt. Not when you knew he already knew the answer. Vocalizing what he already knew would make it too real for him. You were a betrayer, a murder, a witch. His chest rises and falls too quickly, his breath coming in sharp, uneven bursts. His fingers flex around the knife, and when you still donāt respond, something in him snaps. āIs it true?!ā His voice cracks, raw and agonized, and it cuts through you like a blade sharper than the one at your throat.Ā
Your heart hammers against your ribs. Your mouth is dry. Your hands are shaking, but you force yourself to meet his eyesāhis desperate, frantic, broken eyes. You should lie. You should tell him no. You should take the last remnants of his belief in you and hold on to themābut itās too late for that. The truth is already there, clawing its way out of you, forcing itself into the space between you. You canāt lie to him anymore. You wouldnāt. Your lips part. Your voice is barely a whisper. āā¦Yes.ā The silence that follows is suffocating. Heeseung stares at you, wide-eyed, as if youāve just struck him. His grip on the knife wavers, but he doesnāt lower it. He doesnāt move. He doesnāt breathe. His Adamās apple bobs as he swallows thickly, his gaze never leaving yours. He looks at you like he doesnāt know you. Like everything you were to him has just unraveled at his feet, piece by piece, until thereās nothing left but the ruin of whatever you were. āWhy?ā His voice is barely there, hoarse and hollow.
The lump in your throat grows, threatening to choke you. You donāt want to tell him. You donāt want to tell him. But thereās nothing left to hide. The weight of your past has already reached him, coiling around his throat just as it has yours. Your hands tremble, your nails digging into your palms, as you force yourself to speak. āHe murdered my mother.ā but he knew that already? Didnāt he? The words taste like ash on your tongue. You watch as Heeseungās entire body goes rigid. His expressionāpain, anger, disbeliefāflickers for only a moment before he schools it into something unreadable, something distant. But you can still see it. The horror. The realization. The unbearable ache. Your voice wavers. āThe king ordered her death. He butchered her, Heeseung.ā You take a shaky breath, one that barely fills your lungs. āHe tore her apart. Took her from me. My father too.āĀ
Heeseung doesnāt speak. He doesnāt move. You take a step closer. He doesnāt retreat, but the hand holding the knife lowersājust slightly. āI was just a child,ā you whisper. The words crack at the edges. āI had no one. My coven abandoned me. I had to make my own way in this world, and every single day, I have had to live with what he did.ā Your breath shudders in your chest. Your eyes burn. āI was never going to be a princess, Heeseung.ā There is no anger in your voice anymore. No rage. No fire. Just grief, raw and aching, an open wound that never healed Heeseung clenches his jaw so tightly that the muscles twitch, his hands trembling at his sides. His grip on the knife loosens. He looks at you like heās trying to understand. Like heās trying to see you through the haze of betrayal. Then, after what feels like an eternity, he whispers, āIāll let you go.ā Your stomach plummets. His gaze is pained, torn apart at the seams, but he holds it steady.Ā
āIāll tell them I couldnāt find you.ā His voice shakes. His lips press into a thin line as he swallows down something thick and heavy. āIāll let you escape, justāā He takes a deep breath, ragged and uneven. āJust leave. Never come back.ā Your heart pounds, hammering against your ribs with a force that steals the breath from your lungs. His hand twitches. His free hand almost reaches for you, but he stops himself, curling his fingers into a fist instead. āSo I donāt have to hurt you,ā he murmurs, voice breaking. His eyes flicker over your face, memorizing you. Holding on to the pieces of you he still recognizes. āPlease.ā You should take the offer. You should run. But you canāt. Not anymore. You were way too far in. You werenāt a quitter. You werenāt weak and youād fight until your dying breath. Killing the King was the only option for you. Not running. Youād never run. Never.Ā
The silence between you stretches like a bladeāthin, sharp, and deadly. Heeseung is still trembling, his breath unsteady, his fingers twitching as if he doesnāt know whether to reach for you or push you away. His body is tense, wound so tight it looks like it might snap under the weight of what youāve doneāof what youāre about to do. You can see the war raging behind his eyes. The part of him that wants to trust you. The part of him that still loves you. And the part of him that has been trained his whole life to protect his kingdomāto protect the king who raised him. He takes a step closer. The knife is still in his hand, but his grip is loose, uncertain. āOne last time,ā he says, voice cracking under the weight of it. āIām begging you. Please. Just leave. Disappear. Run. Iāll make sure no one follows you. Iāll say you vanished into the night, that I searched and searched, but I couldnāt find you.ā His voice wavers, but the desperation in his eyes is unwavering. āPlease,ā he begs again, quieter this time. He might as well be on his hands and knees.Ā
For a second you imagined a life where you agreed where you left and lived a hate free life. Where you lived a life not plagued by an unruly anger for the one who took your mother from you. How would it feel to hide away from the rest of the world and be content. Maybe in a small cabin, under the mountains. With Heeseung. Heeseung would be there. And you'd be married with so many children you could never be bored. That life wasn't possible. Youād be an idiot to have such fantasies because life was never fair. The ache in your chest is unbearable. You wish you could lie to him. You wish you could tell him what he wants to hear, just to take the anguish out of his voice. But you canāt. You take a shaky breath, trying to steady the storm inside you, but itās impossible. āI canāt.ā He flinches.
āIām sorry, Heeseung,ā you whisper, your throat thick with emotion. āI canāt leave. Not if heās still alive.ā His expression twists, pain flashing through his face like lightning across a stormy sky. His hands clench into fists, his whole body trembling, and for a moment, you think he might drop the knife. But he doesnāt. His jaw tightens. His breath shudders in his chest. āWhy?ā His voice is barely a whisper, but the agony in it cuts through you like a thousand knives. āWhy is your revenge more important than your life?ā You swallow hard, blinking back the tears burning in your eyes. āBecause itās all I have left.ā The words hang in the air between you, suffocating. Heeseung stares at you, his face unreadable, but his eyesāhis eyesāthey are shattered, hollowed out by something deeper than just heartbreak. His grip on the knife tightens.
āMy mother deserved better than to die screaming, being torn apartā you whisper, voice shaking. āShe deserved justice. And if I donāt do thisāif I let him liveāthen I am nothing. I will have nothing.ā Heeseungās face twists with something you canāt quite name. And then, in a voice so low and broken it barely reaches your ears, he murmurs, āAnd what about me?ā Your breath catches. āWhat am I to you, then?ā He swallows hard, his Adamās apple bobbing. āAm I nothing?ā The tears youāve been holding back finally spill over, slipping silently down your cheeks. āYouāre everything to me,ā you choke out.
And itās the truth. Heeseungās face crumples. His shoulders shake. His entire body is wrecked with the weight of those words, of what they meanāof what they donāt mean. Because love isnāt enough. Not for you. Not for him. Your need to fight for your motherās memory is stronger than the love blooming between you. And his dutyāhis oathāto protect his king is stronger than his love for you. It has to be. It has to be. Heeseung lets out a choked breath, somewhere between a sob and a broken laugh. He drags a hand through his hair, gripping at the strands like heās trying to rip himself out of his own body, as if he canāt stand the weight of his own thoughts. āTell me you hate me,ā he whispers suddenly. You stiffen. āTell me you used me.ā His voice is thick, unsteady. āTell me none of it meant anything, and Iāllāā He shakes his head, voice trembling. āIāll let you go.ā You squeeze your eyes shut. You could. You could say the words and make it easier for him. You could cut him open and make sure he never has to grieve you. You could turn him against you so he doesnāt have to hurt when this ends. But youāve already hurt him enough.
You open your eyes, looking at the man who has made you question everything. The man who, against all odds, made you feel again. The man you loveābut can never have. And you shake your head. āI wonāt lie to you.ā A tear slips down Heeseungās cheek. He doesnāt wipe it away. And then, after a long, shuddering breath, he lifts the knife once more.Not trembling this time. Not uncertain. Because if love isnāt strong enough to stop either of youāthen neither is hesitation. The dagger slides between your ribs, sinking into your flesh with a slow, devastating finality. The pain is instantāwhite-hot, searing, an agony unlike anything youāve ever felt before. But what truly breaks you isnāt the blade. It isnāt even the poison, creeping through your veins like liquid fire. Itās the look in Heeseungās eyes. So devastatingly beautiful. So, broken. You broke him, you are exactly who youāve always been. A monster. And you were going to die the death you deserved, in the arms of the man you loved but by the hands of the man you loved.Ā
Tears stream down his face, his lips parted in silent devastation. His hands tremble as he lowers you gently to the ground, cradling you like youāre something fragile, like you arenāt already breaking apart in his arms. āIām sorry,ā he chokes out, his voice barely more than a breath. He presses his forehead against yours, his body shaking with grief. āI had to. IāI didnāt have a choice.ā You can feel the poison sinking its claws into you, stealing the strength from your limbs, making it harder to breathe. The world around you begins to blur at the edges, fading like a dream unraveling into nothing. You reach up with what little strength you have left, your fingers curling over his. Heās still holding the dagger, his grip tight like he canāt bear to let go. Blood spills between your fingers, warm and thick, but you donāt care.Ā
You squeeze his hand. āItās okay,ā you whisper, voice weak, shaking. āThis was the only way to stop me.ā And it was the truth. You would only give him the truth. Heeseung lets out a broken sound, something between a sob and a gasp. His other hand cups your cheek, his thumb brushing over your skin like heās trying to memorize the feel of you before you slip away. āI wouldnāt have stopped,ā you confess, blinking through the haze clouding your vision. āYou know that, donāt you?ā You let out a sharp breath āBecause-..because you know me.ā You laugh a little, it's short and winded but it's a laugh and it was real. He nods, his shoulders heaving with every ragged breath. More tears slip down your face, mingling with the blood pooling beneath you. āYou did the right thing.āĀ
Heeseung flinches, his grip on you tightening like he can somehow keep you here. āNo,ā he whispers, shaking his head. āDonāt say that.ā his voice trembled, tears still falling from his eyes and down his cheeks. āBut you did,ā you insist, coughing as blood spills from your lips. You can taste the bitterness of it, the iron tang. āYou did the right thing, Heeseung. IāIām glad you did.ā Your chest rises and falls in shallow, uneven breaths. The darkness is creeping closer now, curling around the edges of your vision, but you fight to keep your eyes open. Just for a little longer. Just to see him one last time. āI love you.ā The words come out in a fragile whisper, but they are real. They are everything. A sob tears through him, raw and wrecked. He presses his lips to your forehead, his tears falling against your skin. āI love you too,ā he breathes, voice shaking.Ā
You smile, just barely. And then your body stills. Heeseung feels it the moment you slip away. The last breath leaving your lungs. The way your fingers relax, the light in your eyes dimming until thereās nothing left but the hollow, empty silence. His heart shatters. A broken, strangled cry rips from his throat, and he pulls you into his arms, holding you against him as if that will bring you back. His whole body shakes with grief, his face buried in your hair. The dagger is still in his hand. The blood is still warm. And the weight of what he has doneāthe weight of losing youācrushes him whole.Ā
Epilogue.Ā
Heeseung kneels before the king, head bowed, hands clenched so tightly at his sides that his nails threaten to pierce his skin. His face is carefully composedāstoic, unreadableābut inside, he is unraveling. āI failed, Your Majesty,ā he says, voice low, heavy with carefully measured regret. āThe witch is gone.ā Silence falls over the throne room, thick and suffocating. The kingās fingers drum against the armrest of his gilded throne, his expression dark with fury. Heeseung does not flinch beneath his gaze, does not waver even as the weight of his own lie threatens to crush him.Ā
āGone?ā the king finally echoes, his tone sharp. āHow?ā Heeseung lifts his head slightly, just enough to meet the kingās eyes without betraying the storm of emotions raging inside him. āBy the time we reached the catacombs, she had vanished without a trace. The guards and I searched the tunnels, the corridors, the perimeter of the castle. There was no sign of her.ā The queen scoffs, folding her arms across her chest. āAnd you expect us to believe that a single witch, after all the effort she put into infiltrating our home, simply decided to flee?āĀ
Heeseung forces himself to nod, his jaw tightening. āYes, Your Majesty.ā The king exhales sharply through his nose, his displeasure clear. He shifts in his seat, fingers stilling against the polished wood of his throne. āNo trace at all?ā
āNo.ā The lie tastes like ash on Heeseungās tongue. The king curses under his breath before waving a dismissive hand. āFind her.ā Heeseung bows his head again. āYes, Your Majesty.ā He doesnāt wait to be dismissed. He knows the conversation is over. The king is furious, but he believes him. Or, at the very least, he has no choice but to. Heeseung turns on his heel and strides out of the throne room, keeping his shoulders squared and his pace steady. Every step feels heavier than the last. Because the truth is buried deep beneath his feet.Ā
-
The forest is quiet, the only sounds are the whisper of the wind through the trees and the distant calls of night creatures stirring from their slumber. The moon hangs low in the sky, casting silver light over the clearing. Heeseung stands at the edge of the earth he has disturbed, his breath unsteady as he looks down at the freshly turned soil. This was where the king had left her mother to rot. A shallow grave in an unmarked place. Forgotten, discarded like she was nothing. Heeseung couldnāt give her justice. He couldnāt save her. But he could give her this. He had carried her here himself, long after the dagger had stolen the last warmth from her body. He had cleaned the blood from her skin, brushed the hair from her face, whispered apologies that she would never hear. And then, with shaking hands, he had laid her to rest beside her mother. Not in an unmarked grave. Not forgotten. He had carved a name into the wood he placed at the head of the mound of earth. Not the name of the princess she had stolen, not the lie she had lived. Her true name.
The name that had been taken from her the night the king slaughtered her mother. Heeseung takes a shaky breath, sinking to his knees beside her grave. He presses a hand to the cold ground, his vision blurring. āIām sorry,ā he whispers, the words barely a breath. The wind moves through the trees, rustling the leaves like a sigh. Heeseung closes his eyes. For the first time in his life, he wishes he had never been born in this kingdom. That he had never sworn an oath to the king, never pledged his loyalty to a crown soaked in the blood of innocents. For the first time in his life, he wishes he had been brave enough to run away with her. But there are no second chances. No rewinding time. So he sits in silence, keeping vigil over the woman he loved, mourning the life they never got to have. And when the sun begins to rise, painting the sky in shades of gold and crimson, Heeseung finally forces himself to stand. He does not say goodbye. Because he knows he will return. Because he knows he will never stop loving her. Because even in death, she is the only truth he has ever known.Ā
HARD HOURS - enha reaction when you wont let them sleep because you're too needy.
cw (MDNI): breeding, explicit activity, super filthy, face sitting, spitting, mean language, swearing, squirting, oral m!receiving, oral f!receiving, harmless choking let me know if theres anyth i missed!
AN: i had a stroke brought back to life and produced this.
wc: 10K
Heeseung is dead to the worldāor so it seems. Heās sprawled on his stomach, head half-buried in the pillow, blankets barely hanging onto his hips. You can tell by the slow, heavy breaths that heās on the edge of deep sleep. In other words, the perfect target for your mischief.
You start small: a soft kiss against his ear, teeth gently dragging along the shell. Nothing. Heeseung barely stirs, only letting out a faint groan. You smirk, inching closer until your body is pressed flush to his back.
Then, you whisper your first sinful line:
āGod, Hee, I canāt stop thinking about you filling me up⦠Wanna feel your cum dripping out.ā
A slight twitch of his shoulders. Still not enough. You drag your lips lower, biting softly at his earlobe, letting your breath fan over the sensitive skin. This time, you feel his entire body tense, a quiet grunt rumbling in his chest.
āMm⦠baby,ā he mumbles, voice muffled by the pillow, āwhy are you so⦠fucking horny?ā
You grin into his ear, hooking your leg over his calf to keep him from rolling away. āBecause youāre so goddamn hotwhen youāre half-asleep,ā you purr. āAnd because I know you love the idea of breeding me.ā
Heeseung freezes. Then, a soft exhale that sounds suspiciously like a groan. āShit⦠not this again,ā he complains, though his tone betrays a hint of intrigue.
You trail your hand beneath the blanket, grazing the waistband of his boxers. āYes, this again. Donāt pretend you donāt get off on the thought of knocking me up.ā You canāt help the wicked smile curling at your lips. āThink about it, Hee⦠Iād be so full with your babyāeveryone would know you fucked me so good thatāā
āStop,ā he grumbles, face still squished into the pillow, but you hear his breathing pick up. āDonāt talk like that when Iām⦠trying⦠to sleepā¦ā His words are disjointed, lazy from exhaustion, but thereās no mistaking the twitch in his boxers.
You press closer, cupping him through the fabric. Heās already half-hardādespite how desperate he is to stay asleep. āFeels like you donāt really want me to stop,ā you tease, giving him a firm squeeze. āCāmon, Hee, you can breed me in your sleep if you want. Iāll do all the work. Just fill me up ātil Iām pregnant with your baby.ā
Heeseung lets out a muffled curse, finally rolling onto his side to face you, though his eyes are still lidded with exhaustion. āYouāre⦠so fucking⦠relentless,ā he mutters. āI was literally about to pass out.ā
You just tilt your head, giving him your sweetest, most innocent smile. āWell, if you canāt handle it, guess Iāll justāā You start to pull your hand away, as if giving up.
But the second you try, Heeseung catches your wrist, pressing your palm fully against his length. āShut up,ā he mutters, brows furrowed. āYou started this. Now youād better take responsibility.ā
You arch a brow. āResponsibility?ā The corner of your mouth twitches. āAs in⦠riding you ātil you pump me full?ā
He swallows hard, cock throbbing beneath your hand. āIf thatās what it takes to get you to let me sleep afterwards,ā he growls, though the sleepy rasp in his voice makes him sound more needy than threatening.
You canāt help the rush of arousal pooling between your thighs. You slip your hand under his waistband, fingers closing around the hot, stiff length of him. He gaspsāquietly, but itās enough to confirm youāve got him.
āFuckā¦ā Heeseungās eyes flutter, half-lidded, teeth sinking into his lower lip. āFine. But donāt⦠donāt expect me to do all the work. Iām literally about to pass out.ā
You laugh softly, sliding your leg over his hip until youāre straddling him. āI told you,ā you purr, leaning in to nibble at his ear again, āIāll do everything. You just gotta lie there and let me use that gorgeous cock. Let me fuck your baby into me.ā
A trembling exhale leaves him, and for a second, you think he might actually fall asleep mid-conversation. But then, he ruts upward, desperate, jaw clenched. āDonāt⦠say that if youāre not serious,ā he warns, voice cracking from both arousal and exhaustion. āYou know how I get when you mention⦠that.ā
You smirk, shimmying your sweats off, aligning yourself with him. āWho says Iām not serious?ā Another deliberate roll of your hips, letting the tip of his cock slide between your folds. āWanna see you get all possessive, Hee. Wanna watch your face when you realize you canāt help but fill me up ātil Iām stuffed with your cum.ā
He hisses, fists gripping the sheets as you sink down on him. His eyes squeeze shut, a low groan vibrating in his throat. āYouāre⦠so fucking wet,ā he mutters. āGod, babe, youāre insane.ā
You start a slow grind, rolling your hips to coax him deeper. āMm, blame yourself,ā you tease, leaning in to brush your lips against his ear again. āYouāre the one who made me this wet by⦠existing. By being so fucking adorable even when youāre grumpy.ā
He exhales a laughāsomewhere between a scoff and genuine amusementāthen clutches your hips, fingers digging in as he tries to thrust up. But you quickly pin him, reminding him of your promise that youāll do the work. He shudders, letting his head fall back into the pillow, letting out a string of curses when your pace increases.
āFuck⦠youāreāā he starts, but the words catch in his throat as you slam down harder. His hands slide up under your shirt, caressing your waist as he tries to hold on to some sense of control. But you can tell heās close to just letting go.
āYou gonna cum already, Hee?ā you taunt sweetly, nails scratching lightly along his torso. āGonna fill me up with your baby while youāre half-asleep?ā
He practically growls, eyes fluttering open to glare at you in a haze of lust. āShut up,ā he groans, āyouāre the one who startedāfuckāthis.ā
The slide of his cock is delicious, each wet smack of your bodies echoing in the quiet. His face contorts with pleasure, and you can tell from the shaky moans that heās right on the edge. Suddenly, he grips your thighs, forcing you down until youāre fully impaled, burying himself to the hilt.
A ragged cry leaves him. āShit, babeāIām⦠oh, fuckāā His eyes roll back as he spills inside you, warmth flooding your core. His entire body trembles, half-lidded gaze locked on the sight of you perched on his lap.
Panting, you watch him struggle to stay awake, a lazy grin spreading across his face. āGod, youāre soāfuckingādifficult,ā he gasps out, voice raspy with exhaustion. āBut⦠so good.ā
You gently stroke his hair, leaning down to press a soft kiss to his lips. āTold you youād like it.ā
Heeseung groans again, arms wrapping around your waist. āYeah, yeah. Now let me sleep,ā he mumbles, eyes already fluttering shut. āUnless you want me to⦠pass out mid-round two.ā
You laugh, settling over his chest, feeling the sticky warmth of his release still dripping between your thighs. āMm, maybe Iāll let you get some rest, big boy.ā
He half-smiles, nuzzling into your neck. āWhy⦠are you so⦠horny⦠all the timeā¦?ā
You just chuckle, letting your fingers trace random patterns along his spine. āMaybe itās because youāre so fucking irresistible, Hee.ā
He makes a small, pleased soundāsomewhere between a hum and a sighāand finally drifts off, still inside you, arms locked around your waist like you might vanish if he loosened his grip.
You won this roundābut at least he gets to sleep now⦠right?
Jay was out cold.
Face half-buried in the pillow, arms stretched above his head, lounge pants slung low around his hips. Heād come home dead tiredāonly to doze off in that weird position where his eyes stayed half-open, like he was on autopilot even in sleep.
Meanwhile, you were in the bathroom, freshening up⦠and slipping into a brand-new black lace lingerie set. The bra was sheer enough to flaunt your nipples behind intricate lace, a garter belt hugged your hips, and the star of the show? Crotchless panties that revealed you in all the right places. The plan was to wake him gentlyāor, well, not so gently.
When you crept back into the bedroom, Jay let out a sleepy grunt, barely stirring. You flicked on the bedside lamp to a dim glow, stepping into his line of sight. He blinked once, confusion painting his features. Then he actually registered the lace.
His half-lidded gaze roamed you from head to toe, lingering on the straps across your thighs and the mouthwatering curve of your hips. āMmph,ā he muttered, voice thick with sleep. āIs that⦠new?ā
You grinned, coming closer. āWanna see the best part?ā Without waiting for an answer, you lifted the edge of the delicate garter belt, letting him notice the open gap between your thighs.
His eyes snapped all the way open. āFuck, are those⦠crotchless?ā
āMhm.ā You tilted your hips, showing him exactly how very little was covered. The lace was basically framing your folds, leaving you entirely accessible. āThought youād like it, babe.ā
A soft exhale left him as he tried to push himself upright. Sleep still clung to his movements, but the desire in his eyes was quickly burning away any drowsiness. āYouāre so⦠fucking⦠I canāt even think.ā
You slid onto the bed, hooking a leg over his hip. āSo donāt think,ā you teased, brushing your lips against his ear. āJust do what you do best⦠service top, right?ā
He let out a quiet laugh, pressing a hand to his eyes. āGod, youāre gonna kill me. Iām supposed to be passed out right now.ā
Your answer was a playful nibble at his jaw. āBut you wonāt pass out. Because look at what Iām wearingāfor you.ā
He parted his fingers, peeking at you through them. āYeah, well, you know I canāt resist that.ā His hand dropped, sliding around to cup your ass, fingertips brushing the lace. āI mean, shit, youāre basically exposed but still so fucking sexy.ā He swallowed hard, blinking away the last remnants of sleep. āOkay, okay, Iām awake now.ā
Leaning back, you very purposefully let him see the parted crotch of your panties. āLetās put them to use,ā you murmured, your voice low.
Jay bit his lip, half a smirk forming. āYou really want me to devour you right now, yeah?ā
āYou say that like itās a question.ā A single tug at his lounge pants exposed the growing outline of his cock, straining for attention. You pressed a palm over it, feeling him twitch. āI want to feel that mouth of yours first, though.ā
He groaned, āFuck⦠I canāt say no to you, can I?ā Carefully, he pushed himself up, fluffing a pillow behind his head. The faint shadow of a grin on his lips. āCome here, let me see those crotchless panties up close.ā
Your stomach fluttered as you crawled forward, positioning yourself above himāstraddling his chest. You hovered for a moment, letting him admire the black lace hugging your thighs, the sheen of your arousal already evident.
His gaze flicked from your eyes to that sinful opening. āChrist,ā he whispered, āthey're so fuckingāā He shook his head like he couldnāt find the words.
Taking it as a cue, you moved up, planting your knees on either side of his head. His hands automatically flew to your hips, steadying you. The closeness, the warmthāit was intense. One of his hands slid beneath the lace, and his breath caught when he felt how soaked you were.
āDamn,ā he murmured, voice rasping with lust, āalready this wet?ā
You smirked, āIāve been thinking about this all night.ā Lowering yourself an inch more, you whispered, āYou ready for me to ride your face, husband?ā
A flash of pure hunger lit his eyes. āFuck yes.ā Then, half-lidded gaze locked on yours, he tugged you down the final distance, pressing his mouth directly to your exposed folds. The first caress of his tongue had you shivering, your entire body drawn tight.
āJayā¦ā you moaned softly, threading your fingers into his hair. The angle was perfect: he didnāt even have to remove the panties, just push the delicate lace aside with his nose, leaving you completely accessible to that talented mouth.
He started slowlyāsoft, deliberate licks that explored your folds. Each pass of his tongue was accompanied by a low hum of approval, a subtle roll of your hips. Then, gathering more confidence, he parted you further, letting his tongue delve deeper, swirling around your clit in lazy circles. You inhaled sharply, nails scraping his scalp, which earned a muffled groan from him.
Husband material, indeed.
āShitā¦ā you gasped, thighs trembling around his face. āGod, youāre soā so good at thisāā
His only response was a low chuckle, the vibrations making your toes curl. He pressed his tongue flat against your bundle of nerves, flicking it with just enough pressure to make your head spin. Each ragged breath, each swirl of his tongue, coaxed you closer to the edge.
Desperate to balance yourself, you gripped the headboard, half-riding his mouth in a rhythm that matched your ragged moans. The black lace framed his cheeks, reminding you again how easy it was for him to devour you in these crotchless panties. You bit your lip, panting harder.
He seemed to sense you edging near your climax, because he slid one hand up your thigh, hooking around the garter strap. With the other, he reached up to dig into your hips, urging you to bear more weight. And you obliged, pressing down, letting him bury his face fully against your heated core.
Your breath caught. āJay⦠Iām gonnaā oh fuckāā
He took that as permission, latching onto your clit with suction and a flick of his tongue that ripped a choked sob from your throat. The orgasm crashed over you, wave after wave of trembling pleasure, your thighs clamping around his head. He rode it out with you, licking and kissing through each aftershock.
When you finally released him, he gasped for air, lips slick with your arousal. But the grin on his face? Absolutely triumphant.
āFeel better?ā he teased, voice still rough with lust. Before you could answer, he reached out, tugging you down for a messy kiss. You tasted yourself on his tongue, a heady mixture of heat and satisfaction.
You pulled away, chest heaving, eyes glazed. āFuck, Jay⦠that wasāā
āYeah?ā he murmured, half-smiling. āThink you can still handle me inside you, or did I wear you out?ā
You let out a breathless laugh, āOh, I can handle you. Donāt forget who started this.ā Sliding off him, you kicked aside the sheets. āNow hurry up, big boy⦠youāre not going back to sleep until Iāve made you come at least twice.ā
A crooked smirk tugged at his lips as he positioned himself over you, hooking his thumbs under the waistband of his sweats to shuffle them off. āYouāre trying to kill me, huh?ā Then, leaning in to nibble your ear, he whispered, āGlad you woke me up for this, wifey.ā
Your only response was a blissed-out hum as he lined himself up, the crotchless panties conveniently parting to give him full access. Husband material? Absolutely. Service top? One thousand percent.
And you were about to enjoy every second of it.
šš¢š¦ šššš²š®š§
Jake lay on his stomach, hair damp from a rushed shower, half-naked in a pair of boxers that barely clung to his hips. The clock on the nightstand blinked an unholy hourāhe had football practice at sunrise, and heād been moaning for the last hour about how he needed rest. Yet the moment you snuck onto the bed behind him, hooking your fingers under his waistband, his body betrayed all that whining.
āStop,ā he mumbled into the pillow, voice muffled and trembling with fatigue. āIāswear, Iām dying, I canāt do this.ā Even as he spoke, you felt him twitch under your touch, a half-muffled groan escaping his lips. His half-lidded eyes flicked open, shooting you a watery glare. āYou... youāre so damn pushy.ā
With a soft smile, you trailed your nails along his back. āBut youāre already half-hard, Jake,ā you murmured, pressing a kiss just below his shoulder blade. āLook at you, complaining about sleep when your body obviously wants more.ā
He huffed a pitiful laugh, letting his head turn on the pillow so you caught a glimpse of his flushed cheeks. āIāI canāt help it,ā he stammered, eyes fluttering shut again. āIf you keep going, Iāll... Iāll do something insane. I canāt even stand.ā
A surge of excitement twisted in your belly. āThen eat me out from behind,ā you suggested, your voice carrying a teasing, sultry note. āIt wonāt take much movement.ā
Jake froze, letting out a ragged exhale. āGod, youāre unstoppable. Fine. But if I pass out mid-lick, itās on you.ā He rolled slowly onto his side, hooking his arm around your waist to nudge you into position. His half-dead eyes scanned your body as you shoved your shorts down, arching your back, cheeks aflame. āJesus,ā he muttered, voice shaky, āyouāre... so wet already. Are you really that needy?ā
A tremor ran through you at his drowsy, borderline mocking tone. āMhmm,ā you breathed. āAll yours, baby.ā
āDonāt call me that,ā he groaned, pushing your thighs apart as he knelt behind you. āIām too tired for sweet talk.ā He tugged your underwear free, letting it drop onto the sheets. The next second, his warm breath ghosted across your folds. āIf I say something messed up, itās your fault for pushing me this far.ā
And with that, he latched on, tongue dragging a wet stripe through your slick. The shock tore a sharp moan from your throat. āOhāJake,ā you gasped, fingers clenching in the sheets. āThatāsā oh godāā
āShut up,ā he slurred, half-laugh, half-growl. āYou asked for it.ā He pressed his mouth tighter, swirling his tongue around your clit in sloppy, uncoordinated but devastating motions. Every time you jerked or whimpered, he let out a whiny grunt, eyes barely open, jaw slack with exhaustion. āFuck, you taste so good. Hate you for making me do this when Iām half-dead. Youā you little whore, waking me up... oh, shit.ā
Your cheeks flamed at the nasty name, a sob-laced moan slipping out. āJake, oh my godāā
He let out a broken giggle, hooking an arm around your hips to pin you in place. āI told you,ā he muttered. āNo filter. Youāre basically my cocksleeve, right? Couldnāt even let me rest.ā Another swirl of his tongue, and you felt him bitelightly at the undercurve of your ass.
A startled cry left your lips. āJake, that hurtsāā
āShit, sorry,ā he said, sounding half-dazed. āIā canāt help it.ā Then, in a swift, delirious move, he latched onto the same spot, sucking until you knew itād bruise. āMarking you up. My messy little bitch.ā
Tears burned at your eyes from the mix of pleasure and stinging pain. Your nails dug into the mattress, breath coming in short, ragged pants. āN-never heard you talk like that,ā you managed, voice trembling with arousal.
Jake half-laughed, half-whined. āYeah, well, I never let myself go this far. Tired as fuckāmakes me nasty.ā He sealed his lips around your clit, sending a white-hot spark through your core. The sloppy suction and swirl of his tongue drove you to the brink in record time.
He let out a pitiful moan, half-lidded eyes threatening to shut completely. āHurry up,ā he mumbled, mouth dragging along your folds. āCome on my tongue so I can pass out. Youāre so fucking tastyā shit, I love this, but I might die. So hurry.ā
That final taunt threw you over the edge. You let out a wail, thighs trembling violently as a wave of ecstasy slammed through you. He groaned, lapping you through every aftershock until you collapsed forward, sweat beading along your spine, tears stinging your eyes from the intensity.
Jake pulled away, panting, chest rising and falling. āGod,ā he grumbled, pressing his forehead to your lower back, āthat was insane. I canāt believe the shit I just said. My brain is mush.ā
You gave a shaky little laugh, trying to catch your breath. āI... loved it,ā you admitted, cheeks aflame. But a surge of leftover arousal still hummed in your veins. Turning your head, you shot him a pleading look. āJake... I still want more.ā
He stiffened, letting out a half-yell of frustration. āYou want more?ā he nearly shrieked, voice cracking. āIām half-dead, woman. What else do you want from me?ā
Biting your lip, you shifted around until you were kneeling to face him. āLet me ride you,ā you whispered. āJust once. We can finish quick. Please?ā
He glared at you with watery eyes, fury warring with raw lust, cheeks flaming. āUgh, fine,ā he snapped, hooking an arm around your waist. āCome on, then.ā
He flopped onto his back, yanking down his boxers enough to free his cock. You saw how stiff he was, the tip gleaming with his own arousal. āDo it,ā he mumbled, voice slurring. āRide me. But if I fucking black out, thatās on you.ā
Heart racing, you straddled him, letting your knees frame his hips. Leaning down, you murmured a soft āThank you,ā but he just grunted.
āDonāt thank me,ā he mumbled, hooking his hands under your thighs. āUse me, you goddamn succubus.ā Another delirious laugh, then in a shocking move, he grabbed your chin, tilting your face down. āOpen,ā he commanded, half-lidded gaze glinting.
You parted your lips in confusion, and he spat lightly into your mouth, the humiliating shock making your entire body jolt. āThere,ā he slurred, cheeks aflame. āYou want filthy? Iām fucking filthy. Now move.ā
A stunned moan escaped you. You swallowed reflexively, your mind spinning at the primal gesture. Then, carefully, you aligned yourself and sank onto his length, a gasping cry tearing from your throat as you fully impaled yourself.
He whined, eyes rolling back. āFuck, thatāsā so tight,ā he whimpered, nails biting into your hips. āCanāt believe Iām letting you do this. You better ride me well, you sluttyā oh god, you see? I canāt shut up.ā
You started moving, thighs burning, the angle hitting deeper than you anticipated. He hissed, moaning loudly, half-laughing at how overwhelmed he felt. āShit, youāre so wet,ā he rasped, voice cracking into a higher pitch. āKeep going, keep grinding. I canāt do anything or Iāll collapse.ā
Tears clung to your lashes from overstimulation, your earlier orgasm making you extra sensitive. His filthy words poured out in a half-slurred stream: āThatās it, fuck, you ride me so good. My pathetic whore, always wanting more, canāt get enough of my cock, can you? Gonna make me come so fast, oh godāā
Your own breath stuttered, hips rolling faster, each bounce driving you closer to a mind-shattering peak. āJake,ā you sobbed, nails scraping his chest. āIām gonnaā oh fuckā I canāt believe how filthy you are.ā
He let out a pitiful yelp, hooking an arm behind your back to pull you down, letting his teeth graze your shoulder. āIām filthy because of you,ā he hissed, voice fracturing. āIā I want you screaming, baby. Scream for me.ā
It all came crashing down: your body locked up, a desperate scream tore from your lips, tears streaming as your orgasm blindsided you. Jake moaned brokenly, hips jerking up even in his half-conscious state. He spilled inside you with a ragged cry, arms trembling to keep you close.
For a moment, you both stayed locked together, hearts racing, sweat glistening. Then Jake let out a raw, shuddering breath, hooking his hand around your neck in a softer hold, pressing quick, frantic kisses along your jaw and collarbone.
āShit,ā he whispered, voice still high and whimpery but now laced with guilt. āOh god, Iām so fucking sorry, my baby,ā he stammered, the tears in his eyes no longer just from exhaustion but from sudden remorse. āDid I hurt you? Did I say something awful? Fuck, I bit you, Iā spat in your mouth, called you a whore. Iām so sorry, my beautiful wife, fuck, Iām so sorry.ā
Your heart flipped at the sudden shift. āJake,ā you breathed, wiping his sweaty bangs aside. His cheeks were glowing, tears threatening to spill. āNo, itās okay,ā you whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. āI liked it, I promise. You didnāt hurt me in a bad way. It was perfect for me.ā
He let out a shaky sigh, hooking an arm around your waist to bury his face against your chest. āI canāt believe I said all that. Mā just so tired, I canāt filter. Iām so sorry, my baby, my sweet girlā please forgive me,ā he mumbled between kisses to your collarbone, each one almost frantic with guilt. āI love you, I love youā Iām sorry, Iām sorry.ā
You cradled his head, tears pricking your eyes for a different reason now. āI love you too,ā you whispered, pressing your lips to his damp forehead. āIt was so intense and raw, but Iām okay, truly.ā
He let out another half-sob, half-laugh, relief flooding his features. āThank god,ā he murmured, letting his eyes finally drift shut as he clung to you. āYouāre my baby, and I called you all those namesā I justā oh my god.ā
āShh,ā you soothed, brushing his cheek. āWeāll rest now, okay?ā
He gave a small nod, exhaling the last of his tension. āRest,ā he echoed, voice spent. āI can actually sleep.ā Another watery chuckle, then he pressed a tender, lingering kiss to your lips. āI love you,ā he repeated in a near whisper, arms wrapping around you in a lazy embrace.
You settled against his chest, letting him roll onto his side so you both could fit under the covers. Despite the sticky heat and bruises youād surely find in the morning, a drowsy peace enveloped you both. He drifted off, still half-mumbling apologies, and you held him close, heart fullāknowing that no matter how filthy the night had been, the love that followed was unwavering and sweet.
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Sunghoon was drifting in that half-awake, half-asleep realmāeyes heavy-lidded, cheek pressed into the pillow, hair messy from tossing around. He had one arm slung across his stomach, the other dangling off the bed, looking like he might doze off at any second.
You, on the other hand, had far too much energy. And far too many thoughts about your craving for roughnessāparticularly choking. But rather than just blurt it out, you wanted to theorize, to talk about the deeper psychology behind it⦠with him, while he was half-asleep.
So you scooted closer, your knee brushing his thigh. He grunted, eyes flickering open to a sliver.
āSunghoon,ā you started, voice low, ācan we talk about something? Like, a deep⦠philosophical something?ā
He exhaled, shifting onto his back and letting out a low groan. āOh my God,ā he muttered, obviously not thrilled. āYou⦠want me to have a deep philosophical conversation right now?ā
You nodded, biting your lip. āItās about choking.ā
He squinted, brow furrowed. āChoking. As in⦠me choking you.ā His gaze darted to your throat, then back to your eyes.
āMhm,ā you confirmed, pushing a stray hair from his face. āIāve been thinking about why I want it. Is it about trust? About letting go of control? Or, like, the raw primal side of usāā
He let out a weary groan, rolling his head toward the ceiling. āYouāre a psycho,ā he mumbled, not even bothering to keep his voice down. āWho the hell sits here and tries to dissect choking kink like itās some academic thesis when Iām literally about to pass out?ā
You tried not to laugh, pressing your palm to his chest. āI just think itās interesting. I mean, itās not just āI want you to choke meāāitās why do I want you to choke me? Donāt you ever wonder about the deeperāā
āShut up,ā Sunghoon cut in, eyes pinching shut as if he could block you out. āSeriously. Iām too tired for your āfascinating deep diveā on kinks.ā
You arched a brow, half-smiling. āYou canāt just bury your head in the sand.ā
He let out a sharp exhale, turning onto his side so his back was partially to you. āYes, I can,ā he grumbled. āI can bury my head in this pillow. Then maybe I wonāt have to listen to you psychoanalyze choking.ā
Undeterred, you scooted closer, lips brushing the shell of his ear. āBut Hoonie, imagine how hot itād be if you pinned me against the wall, your hand around my throat, talking about how youāllāā
He jerked away, letting out a soft snarl. āYouāre seriously insane. Why the hell are you wanting a full lecture on me choking you? Justāshut up or Iāll⦠Iāll shut you up.ā
You blinked, pulse skipping at the edge in his tone. āThat sounds promising,ā you teased, eyes glinting with excitement.
āFuckās sake,ā he muttered, half-laughing despite himself. āYou want me to choke you so bad?ā
You nodded earnestly. āYeah. And maybe call me your little slut or somethingāā
He shot you a scandalized look, half-lidded eyes burning with a mixture of exhaustion and sudden arousal. āJesus,ā he breathed, raking a hand through his messy hair. āYou seriously donāt know when to quit.ā
You grinned. āNope.ā
For a moment, he just stared, seemingly debating whether to actually indulge you or roll over and pass out. Then, with a low grunt, he shifted, turning all the way to face you. His hand came up, fingers wrapping lightly around your throatānot applying pressure yet, just resting there.
āThis what you wanted?ā he mumbled, gaze flicking over your face.
Your heart thumped as you nodded, pressing your neck into his palm. āYes. I like it rough, and I trust you to not actually kill me,ā you said, half-laughing.
He let out a short, exasperated snort, a lazy smile tugging at his lips. āYouāre a menace.ā Then, without warning, he tightened his gripānot painfully, but enough to send a bolt of arousal straight to your core.
A surprised gasp escaped your lips. āHoonāā
āShut up,ā he repeated, voice suddenly dripping with that dark amusement youād been craving. āYou talk too damn much.ā
Your cheeks flamed, the mixture of slight pressure on your windpipe and his rough tone making your skin prickle. āSo you are interested in the āphilosophyā,ā you tried to joke, but he tightened his hold just enough to cut you off.
āI said shut up or Iāll do it for you,ā he whispered, eyes half-lidded with sleep but blazing with intent. āGuess the best way to keep you from yapping is by fucking you speechless.ā
Your pulse skyrocketed. āThen do it,ā you challenged, letting your hand curl around his wrist lightly in a silent sign of both caution and consent. āShow me how youād shut me up.ā
Sunghoon let out a soft grunt, hooking his free arm around your waist to pull you flush against him. You could feel the hardness beneath his boxers pressing into your thighāso apparently, he wasnāt too tired to get turned on.
āGod, youāre soāā he started, but cut himself off, leaning in to capture your mouth in a rough, hungry kiss. The hand at your throat stayed in place, a persistent reminder of his quiet dominance. Every time you tried to speak, he muffled it with his lips, swallowing your protests or giggles.
A muffled moan left you, your body arching into his. He parted from the kiss only to growl, āTurn over,ā voice heavy with drowsy impatience. āI canāt choke you properly like this.ā
You complied in a heartbeat, flipping to your back. He followed, pinning you underneath him, knee nudging your legs apart. The weight of his hand on your throat never wavering, though it wasnāt enough to cut off your airājust a firm, possessive hold.
āHowās this?ā he muttered, half-lidded eyes scanning your face. āBetter for your psycho talk?ā
You swallowed, breath shaky. āMmm, yes. Love it,ā you whispered, letting your hand cup his cheek. āNow maybeāā
He tightened his grip slightly, a cocky smirk curving his lips. āWhat part of shut up donāt you understand?ā
Heat pooled between your legs, your lips parting in a silent moan. āH-hoon,ā you stammered, cut off by a slight squeeze that halted your voice.
āStill talking,ā he teased, leaning down to brush his lips over yours. Then, he thrust his hips forward, letting you feel his erection straining through the thin fabric of his boxers. āYou want me to fuck you so badly, you canāt stop hammering on about it, huh?ā
A strangled whimper escaped you, nodding fervently. The pressure on your neck, the sleepy yet intense glint in his eyeāall of it was turning you on beyond belief.
Sunghoon snorted softly, sliding his hand from your throat to grab your jaw instead. āIāll do it,ā he murmured, hooking a thumb under your chin to tilt your head up, ābut next time, pick a better moment for your philosophical kink talk. Deal?ā
Before you could respond, he lowered his head, kissing along the line of your jaw while his free hand slipped beneath the waistband of your shorts. The chill of his fingers against your heated skin made you gasp, and he smirked at your reaction.
āGod, youāre soaked,ā he mumbled, eyebrows arching in mild surprise. āYou really do get off on this, huh?ā
You exhaled shakily, āMm. Yeah. Hard choking⦠your rough side⦠everything.ā
Sunghoon let out a quiet chuckle that bordered on an exasperated sigh. āYouāre fucking insane,ā he repeated, though he pressed a sweet, fleeting kiss to your lips that took the sting out of his words. āBut I guess that makes two of us, because Iām into it.ā
He parted your thighs, tugging your shorts down enough to expose you. Sliding himself free, he lined up, and in one swift push, sank into you with a low moan that made your toes curl.
He pinned you by the throat againānot enough to hurt, just enough to keep you from speaking easily. The sensation danced on the edge of adrenaline and euphoria, exactly what youād craved.
āYou want me to⦠slam you so hard you canāt think?ā he panted, voice shaky from both fatigue and lust. āāCause I can do that.ā
Your eyes fluttered, a wave of arousal washing over you. āYes, please,ā you gasped, reaching up to grab his wrist lightly, ensuring you could tap out if it got too intense.
He started thrusting, each roll of his hips pushing you deeper into the mattress. Your breathing stuttered around his hand, and it was glorious. Each stroke fed the craving youād asked for: that borderline savage, primal taking, balanced by the knowledge heād never actually harm you.
āOh God, Hoon,ā you moaned, nails raking down his bicep. āThis isāā
He cut you off with a tighter squeeze, delivering a sharper thrust that stole any chance of finishing your sentence. āI said shut up,ā he teased, though you could see the corners of his mouth tugging in a faint smirk. āDonāt you get it?ā
Your retort died in your throat, replaced by a series of moans as he slammed into you harder, faster. The bed creaked with the force, and every breath you managed was ragged, tinted with the exhilarating rush of being pinned at the neck.
It didnāt take long before your body tensed, that coil in your lower belly about to snap. Sunghoon mustāve felt it, too, because he groaned, eyelids drooping with pleasure. āFuck,ā he muttered, āyouāre so tightāgonna come too soon.ā
You tried to reply, but all you got out was a choked moan as the orgasm washed over you, limbs trembling. He followed in short order, a broken cry escaping his lips as he spilled into you, hips stuttering with each wave of ecstasy. His grip on your throat eased, letting you gulp down air.
Panting and spent, he collapsed half on top of you, one arm bracing him so he didnāt crush you entirely. āYou⦠are a fucking⦠menace,ā he breathed, voice rough. āBut God⦠that was so good.ā
You gave him a languid smile, sliding your hand up to brush his damp hair from his forehead. āThanks for indulging me,ā you whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek.
He closed his eyes, letting out a tired laugh. āYeah, yeah,ā he mumbled. āNext time, remind me not to call you a psycho or you might bring up a million more kinks.ā
You laughed softly, wrapping your arms around his neck. āAdmit it, you love that Iām psycho.ā
A half-snort. āMaybe,ā he teased, snuggling closer. āBut if you ever start another deep philosophical conversation about choking when Iām half-asleep, I might just choke you out of spite.ā
āPromise?ā you teased, eyes shining with amusement.
He kissed the corner of your mouth, letting his head flop onto your shoulder. āShut up and go to sleep,ā he murmured, voice drowsy again.
You both drifted off in that warm afterglow, your throat bearing the faintest trace of his gripāand your heart absolutely brimming with satisfaction. Because for all his complaints, Sunghoon had given you exactly the intense, borderline savage scene youād been craving⦠with all the trust and love behind it.
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Sunoo lay on his back, eyes half-shut, body sinking comfortably into the mattress. He wasnāt completely knocked out, but he was definitely hovering on the edge of slumberābreathing slow, shoulders rising and falling in a steady rhythm. From the dim glow of the bedside lamp, you could see his hair falling softly across his forehead, lips parted in a faint sigh. He looked adorable, all relaxed and unguarded.
A spark of arousal buzzed through you as you took in the sight of him, that subtle line of bare skin where his shirt had ridden up. You really wanted him, but not in the usual wayāthis time, you wanted your mouth on him. Swallowing the slight nerves, you slipped onto the bed, edging closer until you hovered just above his side.
āSunoo,ā you whispered, running your hand over his chest in gentle circles. āYou awake?ā
He breathed out a quiet exhale, lids fluttering open a fraction. āMmh,ā he responded, voice thick with sleep. āA little. Why?ā
āWell,ā you said, letting your palm drift lower toward his stomach, āI was thinking⦠I really want to take care of you tonight. With my mouth.ā
His eyes opened a bit more, revealing that soft, drowsy confusion. āYou⦠want to do that right now?ā he murmured, eyebrows lifting slightly. āIām kinda⦠half-asleep.ā
A smile tugged at your lips. āI know. But just let me do the work, okay? You can lie there and relax.ā
Sunoo let out a soft grunt, shifting onto his back more fully. āAlright,ā he conceded, the corners of his mouth curving in a faint smirk. āThough I canāt promise Iāll be, like, super talkative or anything.ā
You chuckled, leaning in to press a light kiss to his shoulder. āDonāt worry about talking. Just let me make you feel good.ā
With that, you lifted the blanket, revealing his waist. He was wearing a loose pair of boxers, and from the slight shape beneath the fabric, you could tell his body was already responding, if only a little. Your hand slipped under the elastic, wrapping around the warm length of him. He inhaled sharply, eyelids falling shut again.
āOh,ā he breathed, biting his lower lip in a subtle show of anticipation. āYouāre serious about this, huh?ā
āCompletely serious,ā you teased, stroking him with a gentle motion to coax him fully hard. āDoes it feel nice?ā
He let out a low hum. āYeah. Feels⦠good.ā He wasnāt whinyābut the light rasp in his voice suggested a battle between comfort and arousal. āI was, like, thirty seconds away from dozing off, but now⦠youāre making me want more.ā
āMm, thatās exactly what Iām aiming for,ā you murmured. āLift your hips a bit?ā
He complied, letting you slip the boxers down enough to free him. You settled between his legs, the blanket sliding down to pool around your knees, and watched as he dragged in a steadying breath. You couldnāt help but smile at how relaxedhe still seemed, even with the flush creeping into his cheeks.
Slowly, you lowered your head, pressing a soft kiss to the tip of his cock. Sunooās breathing hitched, and you heard him mutter something too low to catchāpossibly your name. Then, you licked a gentle stripe across the head, tasting the faint salt of his skin. His stomach tensed under your palm.
āS-still tired?ā you asked, voice quiet, lips ghosting over him.
He opened one eye halfway. āTired, yeah,ā he admitted, ābut Iām definitely not complaining.ā A lazy grin tugged at the corners of his mouth, and he let out a calmer breath. āKeep going.ā
You did, taking him in deeper, inch by inch, letting your tongue swirl around him. Sunoo parted his lips in a soft moan, not loud, but filled with enough warmth to make your blood race. His hand drifted to your hair, a gentle touch that neither pushed nor pulledājust a sweet sign of appreciation.
āFeels⦠amazing,ā he murmured, breathing more heavily now. āLike I could drift off, but also⦠canāt, because you feel too good.ā
Your heart fluttered at that. You began a slow, steady rhythmābobbing your head, stroking the base with your hand, letting each motion draw out another quiet moan or short, content sigh from him. He didnāt whimper or whineāhe just exhaled in these controlled, hushed groans, the edges of sleep still clinging to his voice.
āGod,ā he whispered, eyelids flickering shut again. āYouāre so good at that.ā
Encouraged, you took him deeper, relaxing your throat, letting him feel more of your warmth. His spine arched slightly, and you heard the sheets rustle as he bunched them in one fist.
āMm,ā he hummed, letting out a shaky breath. āYouāre⦠making it hard to stay calm.ā Even half-asleep, there was a sweet chuckle layered with arousal in his tone.
You smiled around him, pumping the rest of his length with your hand in time with each bob of your head. The slick sound of your mouth on him filled the quiet bedroom, and he exhaled in something that approached a groan, head lolling to the side.
When you glanced up, you saw that his eyes were still mostly closed, though his mouth formed a small āoā with each ragged breath. āYou good?ā you asked softly, lifting your head just enough to speak.
He nodded, letting out an unsteady sigh. āY-yeah, keep going. Please.ā Another short laugh. āI canāt⦠believe how chill this feelsā
You took that as your cue to slip him back inside your mouth, swirling your tongue against the underside. This time, he gave a longer, deeper moan, hips pressing up involuntarilyāthough not forcefully enough to choke you. You found a perfect synergy in that moment: him too sleepy to control everything, and you fully in the driverās seat.
Eventually, his breath grew more labored, each inhale trembling with need. The subtle push of his thighs told you he was close to the edge. You hollowed your cheeks, moving quicker, coaxing him toward that release.
āAhā oh, fuck,ā he muttered, voice taut, a slight tremor in his thighs. āIāmā I thinkā yeah, ām gonna⦠oh Godāā
His back arched off the bed, a sudden wave of pleasure making him jerk. He came with a few short thrusts, and you stayed with him, swallowing everything he gave you, feeling his entire body shudder beneath your hands. A breathy, almost disbelieving moan escaped him, half-lost in the pillow heād turned his face into.
The aftershocks lingered, and you eased off him slowly, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. He blinked up at you, eyes drowsy but deeply satisfied.
āThat wasā¦ā he breathed, a serene smile curving his lips. āGod, youāre⦠incredible. I canāt even form words properly.ā
You crawled back up to his side, pressing a gentle kiss to his flushed cheek. āYou donāt have to form words. Just rest. I got what I wanted,ā you teased softly.
A soft chuckle left him, and he slipped an arm around your waist. āYouāre so smug,ā he murmured, letting his eyes drift shut again. āBut Iām not complaining.ā Another quiet breath, and he nuzzled into your hair. āLoved it, truly. Thank you.ā
You snuggled closer, resting your head on his shoulder. āAnytime, Sunoo. Sleep well.ā
He let out one last contented exhale, drifting back toward that drowsy serenity. Because even if he was exhausted, heād let you do anything to keep you satisfiedāand you both wouldnāt have it any other way.
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Jungwon sprawled on the bed, face half-buried in the pillow, shirt ridden up around his ribcage, one foot sockless. He looked so done with the worldālike all he needed was unconsciousness to recharge his soul. The moment you crawled on the mattress, he let out a theatrical groan.
āDonāt,ā he muttered, voice thick with fatigue, ājustā¦donāt. Iām literally about to pass out.ā
You snickered, resting a palm on his exposed waist. āYou always say that, but then two minutes later, youāre losing your mind.ā
He nudged your hand away, letting his head roll to the side so he could half-glare at you. āBecause you never give me peace,ā he grumbled. āYouāre always whispering disgusting things until I canāt think straight. Iām exhausted, and youāre about toāā
You silenced him by lifting two fingers to his lips. He blinked, eyebrows arching in confusion, but parted his mouth anyway, letting you slip them in. The instant his tongue met your skin, a tremor of lust sparked in your belly. He sucked lazily, half-lidded eyes drifting shut like he might as well indulge before dozing off.
He popped them out with a soft, wet sound, cheeks noticeably pink. āI canāt believe you,ā he groaned, flicking a glance downward. āYou see this?ā He gestured at his shorts, where a distinct bulge now strained. āI was about to sleep. Now I have a boner. This is your fault.ā
A smug grin curled your lips. āYour body canāt resist me,ā you teased, trailing your hand to the waistband of his shorts.
He grunted. āNo, my body canāt resist your filthy mouth. Big difference.ā Then, with a dramatic sigh, he pushed your hand away. āIām so done. Done.ā
You let your palm slip lower, purposely brushing his stiffening cock beneath the fabric. He sucked in a breath, eyes widening. āStop,ā he hissed, half-laughing in exasperation. āGod, youāre unbearable. Just say your nasty line about wanting me to āfuck you ātil you cry.āā
You leaned down to whisper in his ear. āI want you to fuck me ātil I cry, Jungwon. Thatās exactly it. And I know you want that too, even if youāre too tired to admit it.ā
He twisted, half trying to turn away, half pressing closer. āI swear to God, youāre an actual menace,ā he spat. But you felt the twitch under your fingers, proving he couldnāt resist. āFine,ā he mumbled. āIf I ruin you, donāt come whining tomorrow.ā
In a flash of frustration-laced lust, he flipped you onto your back, pulling down your shorts in one yank. You barely had time to blink before he thrust inside youāharsh, sudden. Your eyes watered from the abrupt stretch. A startled cry tore from your lips.
āFuck,ā you gasped, clinging to his shoulders. āJungwonāholyāā
He exhaled shakily, setting a pace that felt half-punishment, half-lust. āYou asked for rough,ā he grumbled, each thrust knocking a breathy sob from your throat. āI was about to conk out, and now Iām pounding you. Donāt whine about it.ā
Tears already pricked at your eyes from the intensity, stinging and exquisite all at once. āD-donāt worry,ā you whimpered, voice hitching. āI love itāGod, youāre soāā
āShut it,ā he murmured, an edge to his tone, though his cheeks flamed red at the sight of tears spilling down your cheeks. āYou want to cry? Fine, cry for me.ā
The tension built alarmingly fast, each collision of his hips pushing you higher. Tears blurred your vision, your nails biting into his arms. Suddenly, that coil in your belly snapped, a hot rush of fluid spattering out. You let out a raw scream, mortified yet overwhelmed by pleasure.
Jungwon froze mid-thrust, eyes wide. āWhat theā?ā He felt the warmth drenching his thighs, and a flicker of disbelief crossed his face. āYou justā¦did you squirt?ā
Fresh tears streamed as you half-sobbed, half-laughed. āIāI think so. Oh my god, Iāve neverāā
āHoly shit,ā he breathed, blinking down at the slick coating your inner thighs and his stomach. āThatāsā¦ā A shaky laugh escaped him. āThatās fucking hot.ā
Without warning, he pulled out, ignoring your tremors, and shoved your thighs apart to inspect the wetness. You burned with embarrassment and leftover pleasure, tears still dripping. āJungwon,ā you started, but he was already leaning down, pressing a slow, messy lick to your oversensitive folds.
A gasp wrenched from your chest, oversensitivity slamming into you. āWaitānoāI canātāā
He groaned against your skin, lapping up the fluid with a low, humming satisfaction. āGod,ā he muttered, āI was so done with you, but I need to taste this.ā His tongue slid in broad, lazy strokes, ignoring your sobs of overstimulation.
You could barely see through the tears, your body twitching. āIāIām so sensitive, oh my godāā
āToo bad,ā he mumbled, pulling back at last, chest heaving. He looked at you with a crazed mix of exhaustion and pure, unhinged lust. āI canāt believe how unbelievably fucking hot that was. I didnāt even know you could do that. Didnāt think I could get so turned on by it.ā
Your cheeks flamed, tears still welling. āIāI didnāt know either,ā you whispered. āI thought you were tiredā¦ā
He snorted, wiping the back of his hand across his chin. āI am tired. But guess what?ā He nudged his still half-erect length, letting you see how it bobbed for attention. āYou just woke me up. And now, I want more.ā
A watery laugh escaped you. āYouāre unstoppable,ā you teased.
āApparently,ā he said dryly, hooking a hand under your knee. āNow, come here, baby. Sit on my face. Squirt on my face this time.ā
Your heart stumbled, adrenaline spiking. āYou canāt be seriousā I might actually die if I come again.ā
He flashed you a half-deranged grin. āThen die. Donāt think you can just do that once and get away scot-free.ā
Before you could form a coherent protest, he manhandled you upward, guiding your trembling thighs until you hovered above his mouth. Tears still clung to your lashes, the entire bottom half of your body throbbing. āCareful,ā you choked, bracing your arms on the headboard.
Jungwon gripped your hips, ignoring your oversensitivity. āNo complaining,ā he muttered, eyes gleaming with challenge. āIf you squirt again, it better be on my face. Understand?ā
You gave a weak nod, tears slipping anew. The moment you lowered yourself, he latched on, mouth devouring your slickness in messy, hungry motions. You let out a wail, overstimulation rocking your core. āJungā oh Godāā
He hummed a response against you, the vibrations almost too much. Your thighs shook, tears dripping off your chin. You felt his tongue swirl around your clit, each motion a jolt of borderline painful pleasure.
Sobs caught in your throat. āItāsā too strong, oh god, pleaseāā
He just pulled you down more firmly, his grip relentless, his own breath ragged. Even from above, you could see him half-rolling his eyes like, This is what you get. āWanted me so bad, wanted to cry,ā he murmured between licks. āDeal with it.ā
Surprisingly, you didnāt squirt again this time, but you came dangerously close, tears pouring as you trembled on the edge of blacking out. Finally, he released you, chest heaving, face shining with your fluids. He managed a tired smirk, eyes glazed with leftover adrenaline.
āLook at you,ā he said, voice low. āYouāre crying, youāre half-dead, and Iām still fucking hard. This is your fault.ā
You collapsed to his side, breath stuttering, tears still on your cheeks. āIāI know,ā you croaked, adrenaline crashing into exhaustion. āSorry, guess that means no sleep for either of us.ā
He snorted, half-laughing at the absurdity. āGuess so.ā
Then, ignoring every complaint heād had about being done, he buried his face in your neck. āYou mightāve awakened something in me,ā he muttered, eyes drifting shut with a lazy grin. āSo next time, watch your filthy mouth⦠or maybe donāt.ā
Despite everything, warmth spilled through you at his words. āI wonāt,ā you whispered, resting a shaky hand on his cheek. āI like turning you into this insane version of yourself.ā
Jungwon just let out a short laugh, hooking an arm around your waist. āThen donāt blame me when you cry and squirt all over the place again,ā he quipped, pressing a small, affectionate kiss to your temple.
Your entire body still hummed with leftover pleasure and oversensitivity, tears drying against your skin. But there, wrapped up in his arms, both of you wide awake and sticky, you couldnāt imagine wanting to be anywhere else. Sleep? That could wait.
Because with Jungwon complaining and you pushing every button, the night had only just begun.
Riki was sprawled face-down on his bed, still wearing his loose training shorts, hair damp from a quick shower. He looked done for the dayāexhausted posture, half-buried face in the pillow, letting out random grunts that signaled just how close he was to passing out. The bedside clock read 10:47, and he had to be up at 4 AM for football practice. Yet here you were, creeping onto his bed, brimming with a plan that definitely wasnāt āsleep.ā
He let out a muffled groan the second he felt the mattress dip under your weight. āDonāt,ā he mumbled, not even lifting his head. āIām a dead man walking in six hours if I donāt sleep. Whatever insane idea you have, can it wait?ā
You grinned, moving to sit beside him. āBut,ā you cooed, laying a gentle hand on his back, āI want to try your favorite position.ā
He froze for a second, letting out a short laugh that sounded half in disbelief. āMyāmy favorite position? Thatās what this is about?ā A resigned sigh left him, and he half-turned his head so one eye peeked out from the pillow. āYou pick now, of all times, to bring that up?ā
You shrugged, rubbing soft circles over the dip of his lower back. āI canāt help it. You talked it up so much, said it was the best feeling in the world. If itās your favorite, Iām curious.ā
He groaned dramatically, rolling onto his side, blinking up at you like he was the sole survivor of a disaster. āI do love it. But itās, like, reallyā¦involved. And I have to be up at four. If we do this, Iāll get, what, five hours of sleep max?ā
āAnd youāll be unstoppable on the field,ā you teased, sliding your hand up to his waist. āTrust me, youāll feel amazing.ā
He parted his lips to argueāonly to draw a sharp breath when your hand brushed dangerously close to the obvious bulge forming beneath his shorts. āYou see?ā he complained, half-laugh, half-whine. āI was literally about to pass out, but you had to show up with that filthy grin and mention my favorite position. Now Iām awake in the worst possible way.ā
Your grin spread wider. āWorst for your sleep schedule, maybe. Best for me.ā
He snorted, pushing himself up on one elbow. āFine,ā he muttered, dragging a hand over his face in exasperation. āFine. But I swear if you make me come so hard I canāt function in the morning, itās on you.ā He pressed his lips together, cheeks pink. āAnd if we do this, you better not bail halfway. My favorite positionās kindaāintense.ā
āDeal,ā you said sweetly, hooking a finger into the waistband of his shorts. āShow me. Or are you too chicken?ā
That got him. āOh my god, youāre the worst,ā he muttered, cheeks burning as he scooted onto his knees, motioning for you to get into place. āYou remember how I told you toāyeah, yeah, just turn around.ā He gestured for you to face away from him, then pulled at your clothes, yanking them free of your hips. āI still canāt believe Iām doing this. I should be unconscious.ā
You bit your lip, a flush creeping up your cheeks as you positioned yourself the way heād once describedāone leg bent, the other extended a bit, letting him fit behind you. āThen donāt think,ā you teased softly. āJust do.ā
He exhaled a half-laugh, half-groan, hooking one arm around your waist. āDonāt blame me,ā he warned, āwhen you canāt handle how good this is.ā Then, in a quick motion, he pushed his shorts down enough to free himself, pressing his cock against you. You shivered at the heat, bracing for the rush.
When he thrust in, it was sudden, deeper than expected, and you let out a shocked moan. He dropped his forehead against your shoulder, letting out a shaky exhale. āSee?ā he mumbled, voice vibrating with frustrated lust. āThis is why itās my favorite. Angles, controlā¦so good.ā A half-smile twitched on his lips, despite his annoyed tone.
You whimpered a bit, arching into him. āOkay, I get it,ā you breathed, heart pounding. āItāsāreally intense from this angle.ā
He let out a breathless laugh. āTold you. You said you wanted to try it.ā Carefully, he adjusted his stance, starting a slow, deliberate rhythm that made the muscles in his arms flex as he guided your hips to match him. Each motion was potent, a targeted friction that drew gasps from your throat. His tiredness seemed to fuse into this almost savage focus on the pleasure. āGod,ā he whispered, voice cracking, āyou feel soā¦holy crap.ā
You couldnāt form coherent words, overwhelmed by how every thrust hit that perfect spot. Your nails bit into the sheets, a half-laugh falling from your lips. āYouāre sure youāre about to pass out?ā you teased, breath hitching.
He grumbled, burying his face in the crook of your neck. āShut up,ā he whispered, laughter stirring in his chest. āIām so tired, but my bodyās going insane.ā He rolled his hips, hitting even deeper, and you let out a strangled moan that made him smirk. āMmm, yeah, thatās it,ā he mumbled, eyes fluttering. āThis is it. Best position for a reason.ā
Your body trembled, overwhelmed by the relentless strokes that seemed to find every nerve. It was filthy and comedic all at onceāRiki complaining about his schedule yet pounding into you like he had all the time in the world. Overstimulation built quickly, pleasure surging, your cries getting louder.
āR-Riki,ā you gasped, voice quivering on the edge. āIām so closeāā
āI can tell,ā he muttered, breath ragged. āGod, I can barely keep my eyes open, but I can feel you clenching. Thatās insane.ā He upped the pace, a low moan slipping out when you squeezed tight, your walls fluttering around him. His own voice wobbled with nearing release. āWeāre finishing this fast, okay? I canāt do a marathon tonight.ā
You nodded frantically, each thrust a jolt to your system. Overstimulation soared, your body threatening to snap. āIām close, Iāmāā
āMe too,ā he cut you off, letting out a soft whine of disbelief. āThatās what you get for messing with me right before bed. Gonnaāgonna comeāā He let out a guttural moan, hips snapping roughly as he lost himself in the final moments.
You fell headlong into orgasm with a cry, your nails scraping the sheets, body seizing around him. He followed you with a broken groan, spilling inside you as his thighs tensed. For a moment, you both froze, locked together, breathing ragged. Then he stumbled back, pulling out with a shaky laugh that wobbled in his chest.
āDamn,ā he panted, half-laughing through the haze. āThat wasālike, the best worst idea. Iām definitely half-dead now, but I canāt even be mad.ā
You let out a tired laugh, letting your arms and legs sprawl. āSoā¦worth it,ā you managed, face flushed, body still humming from the overstimulation. āYour favorite position is no joke.ā
He dropped onto his back next to you, chest heaving as he stared at the ceiling. āI told you,ā he murmured, a lazy grin on his lips, āIām unstoppable in that position. Good thing we went quick, though, ācause I can literally feel my eyelids shutting as we speak.ā He peeked over at you, cheeks still warm. āYou satisfied, demon?ā
āVery,ā you replied, wiggling closer to press your lips to his damp shoulder. āNow you can sleep, unstoppable football star.ā
He chuckled, letting his arm drape over your waist to tug you in. āIf I show up tomorrow and pass out mid-drill, itās on you,ā he teased, burying his face in your hair. āBut I guess it was worth it.ā
As you both settled under the covers, hearts still pounding, you marveled at how he remained half-lidded with exhaustion yet so unbelievably satisfied. Tomorrowās early morning might be brutal, but neither of you regretted diving into that comedic, filthy chaos for the sake of his favorite position. If anything, it just made the night that much sweeterāand the morning that much more hilariously challenging.
fin.
guys this was insane sorry abt that where did all thsi even come from
pairing: lee heeseung x reader š ą£ŖĖ Ö“Ö¶Öø ā”
synopsis: after a one night stand leaves you with a lasting memory of the boy you left behind in the name of your daughter, heejin. you finally decide that it was time to move back home to south korea after living abroad for the last 5 years. reuniting with your old friends was everything you could've wished for as they welcomed you and your daughter; but you don't think you could ever prepare yourself to face the father of your child.
warnings: profanity, kissing, suggestive, mentions of hooking up/one night stands, drinking, characters are in their late 20s, absent father!heeseung (but its not his fault) implying that they didn't use a condom (wrap it up!!), overall 18+
genre: single mom!reader x heeseung, old friends to lovers, kind of exes to lovers, one night stand, angst, romance, drama, hurt/comfort, slow burn-ish
wc: 16558 (idk what happened i swear i blanked out writing this)
hoonieyun notes: she's finally here djfkd it took so long to finish this because i didn't want to rush it and feel like i just had to get it done to get it done. i really hope you all enjoyed this piece of work, i loved writing it and i just want to say: happy valentine's day!! you are all so deserving to be loved and surrounded by those who love you <3
the days of being in seoul, south korea felt just like yesterday when you were a college student awake at 3am eating a hot bowl of ramen after a long night of studying. ramen was your favorite thing back then but as youāve gotten older, the days of being a broke college student turned into meticulous routine based days where all your focus went to raising your daughter, heejin.Ā
ramen was your favorite, past tense.Ā
you cut the habit of eating ramen so often because you needed to choose healthier options for yourself, setting an example for your daughter that although convenient and inexpensive, eating instant ramen so often wasnāt the healthiest for you.Ā
even though you were her mom, your daughter taught you a lot and you were constantly learning as you grew together. she taught you new habits that made living better like learning to take it easy and lounging around the house with your favorite snacks while watching your favorite show was the best way to clear your head and relax.Ā
you also learned that your previous lifestyle of putting others over yourself was something that would stay with you as youād do anything for your daughter even if it meant that you sacrifice things that are meant for you if it means that your daughter would have what she wanted.Ā
the air when stepping outside of the airport is crisp, the snow has melted into a thin layer of water coating the ground and itās slightly cold but nothing a puffer coat couldnāt fix. you looked over to your daughter who was fiddling with the zipper on her own puffer coat, ābambi, you have to keep your jacket on or youāll get sick.ā you softly tell your daughter as you crouch down to her level, zipping her coat back up and adjusting the hood of her hoodie that she had layered under. she pouts to herself but ultimately knows better than to argue because she knows mom is right and because she hates being sick.Ā
when heejin was 4 years old, she had gotten a cold for the first time and although she enjoyed being at home cuddled up under a fuzzy blanket with her favorite plush toy; she hated having a runny nose and being forced to take the yucky medicine, her words not yoursā although you agree.Ā
your phone rings and karinaās contact photo lights up on the screen, āhi, yn! iām here, what pick-up area are you at?ā she asks on the other end of the phone, slightly louder than usual so you assume sheās yelling into her carās built in phone call feature to avoid having to drive with her phone in her hand. you tell her that youāre at arrivals 12 and soon enough you can see karina driving up to you and heejin in her silver suv. karina is your best friend, sister even, you have known each other since you were little, even though she was only a few months older than you she was often that older sister you never had, guiding you through new experiences together and you just wished that when you grew up together, you realized sooner that she was also navigating those new experiences alongside you.Ā
āyn!! itās been so long!!!ā karina cheers as she steps out of her car, rounding the vehicle to give you a warm hug, rocking the two of you side to side as you wrap your own arms around her. ābeen too long.ā she says, emphasizing the words like you were away for a long time. in a lot of ways you were. 5 years is a lot of time away from someone but to you those 5 years went by so much faster.
āis this heejin?ā she asks, crouching down to your daughter so she can greet the child. āhi heejin, im aunt karina but you can call me rina, ok?ā she says, softly shaking heejinās small hand with two fingers. āhi auntie rina!ā heejin says happily, throwing her hands into the air with a smile.Ā
your daughter was probably the most cheerful and joyful child youāve ever met. she never threw fits, rarely cried after the age of 2, and was very social with strangers. flashing her cute smile that would instantly melt strangerās hearts garnering you a, āsuch a cute baby!ā every time theyād see her.Ā
karina stands back up straight and helps you pack your luggage into her trunk, āis this all you brought?ā she asks and you explain that you didnāt want to pack too many things because moving with a lot of belongings would make it difficult. you had only flown with 4 suitcases and had 2 boxes shipped over from your old home. opting to only take what truly was important and other material things could simply just be repurchased.Ā
you and karina share another hug before strapping your daughter into her carseat and taking a seat into the passenger side of the car. you and karina catch up like no time has passed, acting like you two were only separated for a few days when in reality it was 5 years. of course the two of you spoke on the phone every now and then while you were abroad but the time difference interfered.Ā
āhow was seattle? do you miss it already?ā she asks and you have to think about the question. do you miss seattle? or were you happy to be back.Ā
āi'm not sure to be honest. i donāt think ive been away long enough to miss it yet.ā you simply say and she nods, āwell i know you mustāve seoul. i know we missed you.ā she says, glancing over to youĀ
you smile at her remark and tell her that youāve missed korea and her a lot. those 5 years in seattle went by fast because of your daughter but being away from all of your friends and even your parents was tough. you stayed with your aunt and uncle who lived in seattle who so kindly opened their home for you and 2 years after giving birth to heejin, you had enough saved up to get the two of you a small but perfect 1 bedroom apartment. it was enough for the two of you but to your daughter it was like she was living in a castle; and thatās all that matteredā knowing your daughter was happy.Ā
āyou ok?ā karina asks and youāre brought back to reality. āyeah, just reminiscing i guess.ā you respond and karina chuckles.Ā
ādonāt tell me youāre already thinking about going back? you canāt leave just yet, iām not letting you go.ā karina retorts and the two of you burst out into laughter. you reassure her that you werenāt going to leave korea any time soon and that youād have ample amount of time together to catch up and make so many more memories.Ā
āplus, iāve got 5 years to catch up with my favorite niece. right, heejin?ā she asks, looking over to your daughter in the rearview mirror. āyes aunty rina!ā heejin says cheerfully. you laugh at them both and give karina a funny look, āsheās your only niece dude.ā you say and karina shrugs, āand? sheās still my favorite!ā.Ā
the rest of the car ride is filled with more chit chatting and laughing, happy that the two of you are finally reunited and that you werenāt separated by thousands of miles. soon enough karina is pulling up to your home and sheās quite impressed. while living in the states you had saved enough money to purchase a beautiful home here in seoul.Ā
itās not the biggest but it has everything you need for you and your daughter. it has 2 rooms and 2 bathrooms, an office space for your work, a big living room with enough space for your daughter to run around in and a backyard for the same reasons. you were happy to have gotten to this point in your life and you were so happy to have a life like this with your daughter.Ā
karina doesnāt stay long after dropping you off, only staying to help you bring in your things, and do a small tour of your home. āi promise iāll come back tomorrow! iāve just got some things i need to finish for work.ā she explains and you let her know that itās fine and thank her endlessly for picking up you and your daughter from the airport. you and heejin wave her goodbye as she drives away.Ā
you walk back inside still carrying heejin on your hip. āalright, bambi. itās just you and me, and our new home.ā you say softly and heejin smiles at you.Ā
ājust you and me mama!ā she says and it makes you smile as you nuzzle your nose with hers.Ā
āĖŹÉ
the next few days are filled with unpacking boxes, waiting for deliveries of furniture and food, and exploring the neighborhood and town. your car was delivered on your 2nd day back in seoul so thankfully you didnāt have to wait around at home or feel guilty of asking karina to drive you around places since she had her own fair share of responsibilities.Ā
your other friends have asked you when they could come visit, especially your cousin; jayā who said, āi canāt believe you let karina see my niece and sheās not even blood!ā when he found out karina met your daughter before your cousin.Ā
karina was like your sister but jay was actually blood. jay is your cousin on your momās side and you had stayed with his parents while living in seattle until you were able to get a place of your own. heās a few years younger than you but he was always the wiser of the two of you; he was like the angel on the shoulder of life while you were the devilā however you werenāt evil⦠just chaotic.Ā
you, jay, and karina all grew up together so you all had a bond that's unbreakable. people often made comments about how jay was the gentleman he is because of all the women he grew up around and youād agree. he was the kindest and most mature boy you know and even when he loosened up a bit and got chaotic like you, he was always the level-headed and mature jongseong at the end of the day.Ā
when you would sneak out with boys in high school, jay would cover for you.Ā
when you got in trouble for getting a C- on your chemistry exam, jay vouched for you and said that the chemistry teacher at your high school was sexist and punished all the girls in the class.Ā
when you found out you were pregnant, jay was the first person you called and was right by your side every step of the way up until you were boarding the plane to seattle.Ā
jay was your rock and you wished he was your brother but a cousin would suffice just as long as he was always there for you.Ā
youāre about 90% moving into your new home, the last thing that needs to be completed was just tossing out all of the trash and recycling that has accumulated from all of the items you bought or takeout that youāve been getting so you didnāt have to worry about cooking for the first week of moving back.Ā
youāve invited jay over for dinner after heās insisted on cooking dinner for you and your daughter, claiming that he wants to make a good impression on his niece so he wasnāt necessarily going to take no as an answer, and honestlyā a home cooked meal by jay sounded nice. he was a great cook, excellent even, you? not so much.Ā
you knew how to cook a variety of things but most of it was out of convenience so that you werenāt always eating takeout. your daughter was simple when it came to her taste buds and favorite foods, 80% of the time she just wants to eat chicken and thankfully she doesnāt complain much about having to eat vegetables. however, never brussel sprouts. she hates brussel sprouts.Ā
itās around 5PM when youāve finished putting all of your trash bags outside, giving you just a half hour to freshen up your daughter and you before jay would be arriving. he felt apologetic for not being able to help you move in but you told him that he had nothing to feel sorry for and that you knew he had a busy schedule ever since he took over his dadās company at the beginning of the year. jayās dad owned a construction company in seoul and although jay had different passions like music and fashion, he was the type of child to never refuse his parentās wishes and eventually accepted that he would become the owner when he grew up so there was no point in arguing with his dad.Ā
he was an only child so it was hard not to feel bad for him and see that he had so many things he wanted to do for his life but was often shortsighted and left responsible for whatever his parents wanted because he was their only child.Ā
that was probably why you often felt like you needed to bring jay out of shell and loosen up a bit. being so caught up with the responsibilities he had at home, you wanted to make sure that he still had fun as a teenager because his life as an adult was already planned out for him.Ā
when jay turned 16 you spent all of your christmas money on a guitar he had been talking about for months. jay rarely cried but you remember the pure joy and gratitude in his eyes when he unwrapped the box and saw the familiar leather case he had seen so many times at the guitar shop. you swore you could see his eyes glow from excitement when he unclasped the guitar case and finally saw the instrument on the inside. the fender eric clapton stratocaster electric guitar shined onto his face and youād never forget the smile on his face as he set aside the guitar next to him so he could get up and give you a hug. telling you how grateful he was and that no one would know how much that gift meant to him besides you.Ā
after changing yourself and your daughter into a fresh pair of clothes, jay was ringing your doorbell. he barely greets you when you answer the door, placing the bags of ingredients into your arms when you open them for a hug and instead he runs into your home to scoop up his niece into his arms.Ā
ājinjin!ā jay says as he carries her above his head. a nickname they both came up with whenever theyād facetime.Ā
āuncle jayjay!ā she says, giggling at him as he gently tossed her into the air and hugged each other. āyeah iām here too yāknow!ā you say, narrowing your eyes at your cousin as you put the bag of groceries down onto your kitchen counter.Ā
āyn-ieee!!ā jay says, setting your daughter down onto the counter next to the groceries and giving you a hug of your own. ābeen so long cousin!ā he says and you hum in agreement.Ā
āwell itās not like you couldnāt come visit me in seattle!ā you say teasingly and jay rolls his eyes, āoh, please! you wouldnāt even let me no matter how hard i triedā plus you know how busy i got after dad passed over the company.ā he says and although he didnāt mean it in that way, you felt a slight tinge of guilt.Ā
āi know, i know jong, just teasing. i missed you.ā you say, hugging him again but this time ruffling his hair like you used to do when you were younger.Ā
āso whatās on the menu today, chef?ā you ask as you help him unpack the groceries.Ā
āyeah, uncle. jinjin hungry!ā your daughter says and you and your cousin laugh at your daughterās remark. as sheās gotten older and has begun watching toddler shows, sheās picked up on their habits of speaking in 3rd person.Ā
āwell, jinjin. uncle jayjay is going to make you ravioli and meatballs. sound good?ā he asks, staring at your daughter with a box of ravioli pasta in his hand.Ā
āravioli?ā she asks and jay nods.
āright, youāre 5; you donāt know what that is.ā he mutters and you just chuckle.Ā
ācome on, heejin. why donāt we set up the table while uncle cooks, hmm?ā you ask and she nods eagerlyā always excited to be a part of the activity in some way or another just as long as sheās included.Ā
āi want the pink plate!ā heejin says as she raises her arms so you could pick her up off the counter and set her on the ground. while you and heejin were at ikea shopping for home supplies, she saw a pink plate with the face of a pig on the top and the tail on the bottom and just had to have it. and honestly, your daughter looked so cute looking at it that you couldnāt say no. as a matter of fact, the plate wasnāt even very expensive and it was cute so it wasnāt a hard decision to say yes.Ā
jay doesnāt take long to finish cooking dinner; knowing to choose something quick and easy to make so that he could feed the two of you and so he could have ample time to hang out with his niece.Ā
needless to say, heejin loved the ravioli and was completely baffled at how they got the cheese inside of the pastaā constantly asking jay how they did it as if it was some sort of magical spell to create a ravioli.Ā
after dinner is over and your daughter insists on dessert, the three of you enjoy some ice cream even though itās still winter and with jayās help in convincing you because āice cream tastes good in every seasonā. you offered to wash the dishes since jay cooked you dinner and although he insisted on washing the dishes, you told him that it was okay since he could spend more time with his niece insteadā to which he didnāt argue.Ā
the rest of the night was filled with giggles as jay got to hang out with his niece outside of a phone screen. learning so much about her and how similar he was to you. he even got the opportunity to put her to bed when she got sleepy after watching bambi, her favorite movie.Ā
ābambi, huh?ā he asks after the two of you quietly slip out of her bedroom.
āyes⦠bambi. itās her favorite movie so i nicknamed her bambiā¦ā you respond, trying to avoid his stare.Ā
āno other reason?ā he asks and you shoot him a glare. āalright alright. iāll drop it. itās a cute nickname anyway.ā he confesses and you mutter a small thank you, thankful that heās not prying any longer.Ā
āi know, sheās cute like a baby deer, what can i say?āĀ
you and jay find your way into the kitchen, putting away the dishes from the dishwasher and beginning a new topic of conversation.Ā
ādoes everyone know youāre back?ā jay asks genuinely, not intending to allude to a certain person from your past.Ā
āyeah, karina and ningning know. i spoke to jake and hoon yesterday and i told them iād come up with a day they could all come over for dinner.ā you explain.Ā
you had a close friend group going into college. you, karina, and jay all grew up together and early during college you had met ningning, jake, sunghoon, and another⦠friend.Ā
the seven of you were inseparable and were always together despite having completely different college majors. you, ningning, and karina all moved in together for the last half of your college career while the guys did the same. youāre all older now and have all of your own lives but most of them kept in touch with you after you decided to move away all of a sudden.Ā
opting to not ask questions out of respect but always making sure to check up on you every once in a while.Ā
āshould i reopen the groupchat? havenāt seen the silly seven back together in a while.ā and just as fast as the words leave his mouth, jay regrets it just as fast. he notices you tense up a bit as youāre putting some dishes away into the cupboard and he realizes heās made a mistake bringing up your original seven friend group. a certain member becomes a tainted memory inside of your heart that you wished to not remember but are forced to remember in the most endearing and loving way.Ā
someone you wished you could leave in the past but youāre glad you chose not to as the memory continues to live through your daughter.Ā
āum, iāll let you know. iāve got some things i need to finish up before i start reuniting fully with everyoneā plus i still need to get heejin caught up on all of her medical stuff for school soā¦ā you begin to say and jay catches on.Ā
āahh, donāt worry about it! just got a bit excited to see everyone back together again. iāll look forward to it when it comes.ā jay says, softly rubbing your back and offering you a smile that you return.Ā
āthanks jayā¦ā you mutter quietly as you try to avoid his gaze.Ā
āĖŹÉ
after three weeks of being back home in korea, youāve finally gotten somewhat of a routine down as youāve settled into your new home and neighborhood. youāve got pretty accustomed to being back in korea and although itās only been five years since the last time you were here; a lot has changed within those five years.Ā
youād wake up on weekdays around 6am to get your day started, making breakfast and your daughter's school lunch before you woke her up at 7am to get her ready for school. she hadnāt started school yet back in the states so you wanted to ensure that you enrolled her into school once you had settled into your home.Ā
she was surprisingly excited to start school and make new friends. her favorite part of kindergarten so far was break time when she and her classmates would spend 30 minutes a day at the playground. sheād come home with unruly hair opposite of the sleek bun or pigtails she had previously had when you dropped her off.Ā
when your daughter was at school youād spend the day cleaning around the home, finishing up the last parts of your move that had to do with papers and legal stuff, and would spend the rest of the time before your daughter got off school to run errands like going to the market or getting used to driving around your neighborhood.Ā
it's about an hour before your daughter is off of school so you decide to quickly freshen up before heading over to pick her up.Ā
today, you had plans to have an early dinner with karina as you hadnāt seen her since you had gotten there so it was due time to catch up now that youāve settled in for the most part.Ā
āĖŹÉ
āwhere are we going, mama?ā heejin asks as you help her into her car seat. āgetting dinner with auntie rina, remember?ā you remind your daughter and she cheers, excited that she gets to see her auntie rina again.Ā
āwhy are we eating early? i want chicken!ā she says and you just chuckle at her. āok, iāll get you chicken, ok?ā you say, kissing your thumb and putting it towards her and your daughter does the same, connecting your thumbs, at the same time the two of you turn your hands 180 degrees with your thumbs pointing downwards so that your hands make the shape of a heart.
it was a small gesture the two of you did, a small way to be connected with your daughter through a special handshake between mother and daughter.Ā
āĖŹÉ
dinner was filled with laughter as you watched your daughter and karina bond over chicken, your daughter having the time of her life with all of the different flavors of chicken; her favorite being the cheese flavored one.Ā
āso, when are we getting the gang back together?ā karina asks as she places another piece of chicken on heejinās plate, the both of you watching your daughter pick up the piece of chicken and munch on it like her life depended on it. you tried to tiptoe around her question, afraid that it would only lead to the inevitable that you were constantly postponing.Ā
karina waves her hand in front of your face as she realizes youāve somewhat spaced out and reiterates her question, āum.. iām not sure. i really want to see everyone but you know..ā your voice getting quiet at the end of your sentence as you realize only jay, your cousin, knew who heejinās father was.Ā
your friends knew of your longtime crush on heeseung when you were all in college and all somewhat knew that youāve avoided him because of some reason that you havenāt told them. there were theories amongst the friends of why you no longer spoke to heeseung but only jay knew the reason. your friends didnāt want to pry but curiosity always filled their minds whenever they would think about you or see the photos you posted online of you and your daughter. with all of the theories they came up with, no one seemed to put together the most obvious reason and youād rather keep that way.Ā
it wasnāt that you didnāt want any of them to know, you just werenāt ready for them to know and arenāt entirely sure when youād be ready. karina noticed your shift in behavior with her question and chose to ask any more questions. the rest of the dinner was karina giving you suggestions on things you and your daughter could do like activities, sports and extracurriculars, and whatnot.Ā
āiāll see you soon, ok?ā karina says while giving your daughter a warm hug. the two of you bid each other goodbye and go your separate ways. karinaās question weighs on your mind heavily as you drive home, thinking about how long you could keep this a secret from your friends and also hide the fact that you were back in town from heeseung who just seemed to constantly be on your mind since youāve arrived back in korea.Ā
a part of you wanted to see him, you missed him so much, the way he made you laugh, the way he knew you so well that he used to always bring you breakfast during your 8am lectures because you loved to sleep in until the last minute so you never ate breakfast, the way he knew when you were sad, the way he knew you were uncomfortable, everything.Ā
he knew you so well but that night, that unfortunate night, it seemed that he was the person that knew you the least in the world.Ā
āĖŹÉ
a few days after your dinner with karina and some encouragement from jay, you finally decided to send out invites to all of your friends to come over for dinner. your place was getting to a point where it was feeling like home and you wanted your daughter to meet some of the most important people in your life. you obviously werenāt going to invite heeseung but you thought about it and you quickly found yourself shutting down that idea.Ā
āhi guys! please let me know if youāre free this saturday around 6pm! iād love for all of you to come over for dinner and meet heejin! if itās okay could you all bring a small dish? heejin isnāt picky but she is allergic to fish so keep that in mind. sheās very excited to meet her uncles and aunties!ā
karina: iām always free for you!
minjeong: iāll bring the chicken hehe
jake: lets goo!! canāt wait to meet little yn!
sunghoon: i already know iām gonna be her favorite uncle
jay: yeah right iām her favorite already, nice try bro
all of their responses made you smile and for once you werenāt stricken with the anxiety of the past and how all of this could crumble down onto youā but you were dedicated to not letting that happen. you missed your friends dearly and being surrounded by your loved ones you havenāt seen in years was long overdue.Ā
āĖŹÉ
friday rolls around a lot sooner than you expected, which you didnāt mind because it was all you were looking forward to after spending the weekdays trying your best not to spiral. you were constantly thinking about what would happen if they brought up heeseung or if he miraculously showed up unannounced and uninvited. you made several dishes as the main course and set up your kitchen so that everyone could eat buffet style.Ā
there were rolls of kimbap that your daughter helped you prepare, tofu stew simmering low on the stove to keep it warm, and other food that you knew your friends and your daughter loved.Ā
as the day went by and the time that your friends would all slowly start arriving would come, you noticed that heejin seemed to be antsy. like something was bothering her, she was constantly squirming around unable to find a comfortable seat at the dinner table, the couch, or even her favorite bean bag chair designed to look like a peach. she was fidgeting with the hem of her dress so much to the point that she had pulled a loose thread, causing the dress to tear. you were more worried than upset, it was just a piece of fabric it didnāt matter if it broke, although you did keep a mental note not to buy from that store again; so you sat her down to talk about it.Ā
ābambi.. whatās wrong?ā you asked her as you helped her change into new clothes, something she had chosen and although it was more casual than the previous attire she had on; she was way more comfortable in it. she shook her head with a pout, indicating she either didnāt want to talk about it or that there wasnāt anything wrongā and considering her actions moments ago, it was the latter.Ā
āyou donāt have to tell me whatās wrong but just know mommy is here for you ok? i donāt want my little bambi to be sad or upset and feel like she canāt talk to mom about her problems..ā you told her softly, fixing her hair as it had gotten slightly messed up while you dressed your daughter. heejin was everything to you, she was your life and blood, she was your light and youād be damned if you ever made your daughter feel like she couldnāt fully be herself or come to her own mother to help her fix her problems.Ā
even though heejin was still young, you made sure to make an emphasis on communication with your daughter, teaching her to articulate her feelings and emotions in a way that was healthy to her and those around herā and for the most part, she did that. she often told you if she was uncomfortable or if she was feeling upset about something as small as her socks making her feel itchyā but right now; she wasnāt communicating to you why she was acting the way she was and it left you stumped.Ā
you werenāt necessarily sure how to go about it. you didnāt want to pressure your daughter to tell you what was wrong but the mother inside of you couldnāt continue without knowing what was bothering your daughter and how you could alleviate her troubles. āare you ok, heejin?ā you ask and she once again shakes her head.Ā
ācan you tell mom whatās bothering you?ā you asked, lightly patting your daughter's head as you finished doing her hair.Ā
she looks up at you with her big doe eyes and for a second you see the uncanny resemblance of her and her father. āmama, who is my dad?ā the question comes as a shock to you because although she had asked before, sheās never let the absence of her father trouble her the way it has now. your mouth slightly opens at her question but you quickly recollect yourself so she doesnāt notice your demeanor falter, afraid that your expression could cause her more worry if she was to realize how you reacted to her question.Ā
you so desperately wanted to comfort your daughter, tell her everything you knew about her father and how he lived only miles away; but you couldnāt bring yourself to do that. it may seem selfish, and it was, but you simply werenāt ready to have that conversation with your daughter. even if it broke your heart to see her pleading eyes begging you for a single crumb of information on her dad, you couldnāt do it. it caused you an immense amount of pain to deny your daughter something she seemed to want so badly.Ā
ābambi, why the sudden interest?ā you ask and she goes on to explain that when she was waiting to get picked up from school that day, she saw all of her classmates getting picked up by their dads and it got her thinking of her own, more specifically, the absence of her own father.Ā
your heart broke even more at her words but you chose to give her the answer that youāve given her several other times she asked in the past.Ā
ābambi, your papa may not be here but heās always in your heart, ok?ā and you were glad that it provided her some form of comfort because it seemed like she knew you were going to say that so she closed her eyes and gently placed her small hand over her heart. it was moments like this that made you question yourself as a mother. denying your daughter from someone who was half of her all because of your own selfish intention and pain that you arenāt able to heal from.Ā
the two of you share another tender moment as you engulf your daughter into your arms for a warm embrace and try your best to get her to smile, which was fairly easy as your daughter was very ticklish.Ā
just in time, your doorbell rings indicating that some of your friends have arrived so you decide to carry your daughter to your front door to greet everyone. you gently rub her back to further soothe her worries, hoping that the emotional and vulnerable moment the two of you just shared didnāt cause her anymore worries despite the fact that she still had that longing look in her eyes. waiting for the day she could get the answer she was looking for and the day sheād get to meet her dad.Ā
āĖŹÉ
youāre carrying your daughter in your arms as you open the door to welcome your friends and all of their eyes light up at the sight of you and your daughter. one by one they file inside of your home with a dish in their hands, greeting you and heejin with bright warm smiles. you return with a smile of your own as heejin waves at the strangers entering your home who she will grow to learn are the aunts and uncles that would love her and support her as she grows older.Ā
once everyone has gotten inside, you point to where they could all settle the dishes they brought and soon enough youāre setting heejin down to introduce her to everyone.Ā
āheejin, you know auntie karina and uncle jay, right?ā you ask her while you crouch down to her, she nods her head in agreement, slightly shy as she still doesnāt know the several other people in the room.Ā
āthis is uncle jake, he has a really big puppy, you like puppies right?ā and once again sheās nodding but this time with a smile as she gets excited at the mention ofĀ a dog. when heejin started to learn how to speak, one of the first words she spoke was ādogā and would later on constantly ask you to get her dog when she learned how to form full sentences.Ā
āheejin, iāll introduce you to my dog, ok?ā jake says with a smile and she cheers, happy that she finally gets to play with a dog since you wouldnāt let her get one of her own.Ā
āthis one is auntie minjeong, can you say hi to her?ā you ask and heejin shyly waves her hand and when minjeong waves back and asks if she can have a high five, heejin gives her one excitedly as youāve taught her that high fives were a gesture of encouragement and sharing a high five with a friend was a good thing so she instantly felt happy when minjeong asked for one, already identifying her auntie minjeong as a friend.Ā
lastly, you point to sunghoon, āthatās uncle sunghoon, you like the snow right? uncle sunghoon is really good at ice skating.ā you explain and her eyes and mouth widen at the thought of ice skating. āice skating? do you make snow angels?ā she asks and it causes the lot of you to laugh; to which sunghoon nods and tells her that heāll teach her how to make some of her own.Ā
introductions go very well and heejin is calling everyone auntie and uncle in no time, opening up and breaking out of her shyness once she chats with your best friends some more as she tries all of the food theyāve brought.Ā
āyn, all this food is amazing by the way but you shouldāve let us help more or at least bring more food so you didnāt have to cook so much!ā minjeong says as sheās putting away her dish into your sink.Ā
āyeah, yn. this is delicious but next time let us take care of all of it okay? weāll be sure to bring all the food that heejin likes. heejin, whatās your favorite food?ā jake asks her and she cutely raises the chicken wing in her hand and shouts chicken and once again the room is filled with laughter because of your daughterās cuteness. you were so happy to see your daughter being accepted by everyone, not necessarily because you thought they wouldnāt but because for the time that youāve been gone; you were afraid that this drastic change in your life would affect the dynamic between you and your friends.Ā
but it didnāt.Ā
at least not completely.Ā
jake is slurping on his noodles when he suddenly says, āyo, heeseung brought me these noodles one time; it was so good we should all go some time.ā and at the mention of heeseungās name youāre almost frozen in your spot at the table.Ā
the room is instantly silent when they notice your attitude shift after hearing heeseungās name. no one besides jay really knows what happened between the two of you and even then youāve left out certain details from the story because you couldnāt bear to relive the pain from that night just so that someone could fully understand why you did what you did.Ā
sunghoon shoves jake lightly at his careless action and he soon realizes why the room had fallen silent, he glances over at you with an apologetic look followed by a string of apologies, āiām so sorry, yn. i shouldnāt have brought him up- i wasnāt thinking.ā jake says and you shake your head explaining that it was okay and that he had nothing to apologize for.Ā
āitās fine, jake. he and i just donāt talk anymore.ā you leave it at that and everyone chooses not to pry because it was truly none of their business.Ā
before the night ends you all take a group photo with heejin in the middle, you decided to have her sit on your shoulders as your friends crowd around her with warm smiles that could be felt through the photo. you were so happy to see the happiness radiate through the image that you didnāt necessarily care that all of your friends were quick to post that photo, the possibility of heeseung seeing it nowhere in your mind because you were more focused on the love that your friends were giving you and your daughter.Ā
you bid goodbye to your friends but not before you pack them their own little containers with leftovers because it was way more than what you and your daughter could finish alone. heejin happily waved goodbye to her aunties and uncles and had long forgotten about the sad moment the two of you shared before this dinner.Ā
she was so happy to meet them and to her they were all just her friends. your friends are equally as happy to meet your daughter and be a part of her life and yours again.Ā
āĖŹÉ
on the other side of the city, heeseung is scrolling through his social media alone in his bed when he scrolls past the group photo you all took on several accounts. a pang of jealousy budding in his chest as he sees you in the center, happily carrying your daughter on your shoulders.Ā
heeseung couldnāt help but feel left out but all he could think about was why you hadnāt let him know you were back in town after disappearing for the last five years?Ā
so, he does what he thinks is right and opens the groupchat he has with the boys.Ā
āyo, you guys free tomorrow? wanna grab lunch?ā heeseung taps into his phone and presses send and in a few minutes, sunghoon, jay, and jake are all responding to heeseungās text.Ā
they all coordinate a plan to have lunch the next day. heeseung plans to let it come naturally, bring you up as smoothly as he can without coming off like he wanted to hang out with the guys just to find out information about you.Ā
but he knew deep down that he was going to get the information he needed one way or the other.Ā
even if it made him feel crazy because love makes you do crazy things.Ā
āĖŹÉ
when the next day rolls around and heeseung is making his way to lunch, he realizes that his dreams that night were filled with one thing: you.Ā
he dreamt about all the ways he wanted to make up for lost time, he dreamt of past memories, he dreamt of you and he slept soundly knowing that you were so happy in his dreams. only hoping that he could make you as happy in real life like how you were in his dreams.Ā
you were truly the girl of his dreams and now that you were back; he wasnāt going to let you go so easily like last time.Ā
āwhats up guys!ā heeseung says as he walks over to the guys who had gotten a table for the four of them. they were all browsing the menu when heeseung arrived and they all did their usual greetings, asking how one another was and all of the normal things.Ā
they soon order food and jay could tell that heeseung was a bit antsy, sending glances over to jake and sunghoon with a gesture to look at heeseung and they do; realizing his leg hasnāt stopped bouncing since he sat down and he was chewing on his nailsā something that heās never done in the past.Ā
heeseung could no longer wait, he just had to ask about you even if it made the air between all of them awkward. āso..ā he begins and jay cuts him off before he could finish.Ā
āheeseung, i know youāre going to ask about yn.ā jay says and heeseung stops in the middle of his sentence, his mouth slightly ajar as those words leave jayās mouth. heās shocked that they knew, was he being less subtle than he thought? or was he just that predictable.Ā
heeseung and you were inseparable when you were younger, you couldnāt take one without the other coming along, the true meaning ofĀ a package deal. but when you left, heeseung was left with so many questions, none of which could be answered by you as you cut off communication with him completely.Ā
the rest of lunch consists of the guys informing heeseung about you, small details that they thought youād be comfortable with sharing with heeseung, and although heeseung wanted to learn more; he was happy to learn anything new about you since youāve been gone for the last five years.Ā
they could tell that heeseungās love for you never died or diminished in any way possible. when you first left, heeseung was a wreck and if they didnāt think he loved you then; his reaction to you leaving solidified that. he didnāt sleep, he cried almost everyday and he would try to write you letters even when he didnāt have an address to send them to.Ā
it wasnāt until about a year after you had left that heeseung started to somewhat go back to normal. he stopped moping around and he returned to the heeseung all of your friends once knew. but deep down, he and all your friends knew that he would never be the same without you in his life. he threw himself into his work and other priorities to distract himself so he didnāt have to think about you but in the end, it always came back to you.Ā
heād be walking on the street and would pass by your favorite restaurant and heād think about you.Ā
a song would play and heād be reminded about all of the times you two would dance and sing along to it.Ā
heād see a cloud shaped like an animal in the sky and would remember all of the times you two would spend hours laying on the grass and spotting clouds shaped like whatever your mind could identify it as.Ā
everything he saw reminded him of you and although it hurt him to think about you, thinking about you was the only thing keeping you close to him when you were unknowingly so far away.Ā
when the four of them part ways from lunch, jay pulls heeseung aside for a quick chat before he leaves, āhey, i shouldnāt tell you this butā¦ā jay says, whispering something to heeseung and sending him a text. heeseungās eyes widen at the text and heās instantly bringing jay into a hug, thanking him for whatever it was jay had told him.Ā
āyeah, yeah.. donāt make me regret this, she is my cousin; iāll beat your ass if you fuck this up.ā he warns and although he was slightly joking; jay was speaking with some truth because he knew how much all of this affected two people that were so important in his life.Ā
heeseung slept with a smile on his face later that night, not only because he was excited to be able to see you in his dreams again, but also because of what he had planned for tomorrow morning.Ā
āĖŹÉ
āheejin! letās go, bambi!ā you call for your daughter as you slide your shoes on. heejin appears with her backpack dragging behind her, taking a seat next to you so she can put her shoes on to which you help her. youāre about to bring her to school, glancing at the clock near your front door when you realize youāve only got 20 minutes to get her there.Ā
when you open the door, however, youāre met with a face that you hadnāt prepared yourself to see, at least not for a long time from now.Ā
āheeseung?ā you ask as you look at him, standing at your front door with a smile on his face, flowers in his hand, and eyes as bright as they were when the two of you first met.Ā
āhi, yn.. long time no see.ā heeseung responds, a sheepish grin on his face as heās finally able to see you for the first time in five years. āsorry, i need to take heejin to school.ā you explain, slightly moving him out of the way to lock the door and make your way to your car.Ā
ālet me take you?ā he offers and although a part of you wants to deny, you know that heeseung has always been stubborn and that if you were to try to decline; the two of you would just be going back and forth and before you know it, heejin would be late to school.Ā
so, you reluctantly accept his offer; quickly grabbing her carseat from your car and setting her up in the back of heeseungās car. āmama, who is he?ā heejin asks and you explain that heās just a friend. āhow come he didnāt come to dinner?ā heejin continues with another question and you answer with something dismissive and tell her he was just busy.Ā
āready to go? donāt want her to be late.ā heeseung says and you look over at him and heās still got that smile on his face like he knew exactly what he was doing and was happy that you were going along with it. you give him a tight lipped smile as you place a kiss onto heejinās forehead before taking your seat at the front passenger seat next to heeseung.Ā
in the past whenever you two were in a car it would always be you in the front next to him because he trusted you the most with directions and music but mostly because he loved being able to see you next to him.Ā it was such a simple and innocent thing to be so close to you even if you were just sitting next to him but it never failed to make his heart race whenever you would look over at him, catching him staring at you when he needed to be focusing on the road.Ā
youād tease him by saying, āeyes on the roadā and talk about how youāll crash if he keeps staring at you and heād just respond by saying he would never hurt you or do anything that would put you in pain.Ā
heeseung tried to keep that promise and broke it without even knowing that he did.Ā
āĖŹÉ
ābye heejin, have a good day ok?ā you send your daughter off to school, watching her small figure skip away as she waves and greets the friends she sees as she walks into school. āsheās adorable.ā heeseung says as you turn towards him. a part of you slightly forgetting that he was there because all of your focus was set on your daughter.Ā
āthanks.ā you mutter, barely above a whisper.Ā
āwanna grab breakfast? my treat.ā heeseung asks, a cheesy grin on his face as if heās using his smile as a way to convince you to say yes; it worked⦠just a little bit.Ā
āfine.ā you say while rolling your eyes, a part of you only saying yes because you had nothing better to do and he was the one that drove. the car ride was silent, filled with awkward tension as you couldnāt get comfortable in your seat knowing that you havenāt seen heeseung in five years and had no idea where this was going to go. would everything be the way it was before you left? or would it be filled with boiling tension that would eventually blow up.Ā
heeseung was fiddling with the steering wheel, tapping on the leather of the wheel, messing around with the car compartments, and constantly clearing his throat to drown out the silence that was so loud.Ā
āso⦠howāve you been?ā heeseung asks, slightly looking over at you as if he was suddenly nervous to make eye contact, fearing for how youād react.Ā
āokay.. yeah iāve been ok.ā keeping your answer short so that you didnāt end up saying more than you wanted. you werenāt sure how comfortable youād become with heeseung, someone who you once wouldāve associated with the word ācomfortā now was more closely aligned with āunknownā.Ā
āthats- thats good..ā heeseung stutters.Ā
he doesnāt ask any further questions after heās taken notice that you werenāt inclined for small talk or maybe just talking to him in general. which he couldnāt blame you for, you havenāt seen each other in five years and he understood that things were a lot different than before.Ā
you and heeseung used to be able to talk about anything and everything, whenever one of you or both would be stressed; youād just talk for hours about anything to distract yourselves from whatever was troubling your minds. one time the two of you had even spent 63 hours on facetime, uninterrupted because you were both away from each other for the first time and couldnāt stand being that far away.Ā
the two of you were only separated for a weekend but it was too long for either of you.Ā
āorder anything you want, ok?ā heeseung says as he looks at the menu, browsing for what he wants to eat. you mirror his actions but you lift the menu a bit higher to cover your face because you were a bit shy. you didnāt know how to act around heeseung anymore and felt like shielding yourself away from.Ā
āare you two ready to order?ā the waitress asks and quickly jots down your order, coming back momentarily to drop off your drinks and returning about 20 minutes later with the food you had ordered. heeseung had ordered ramen for breakfast, it came on a small personal burner so that it remained hot as he ate. you slightly smile to yourself, trying your best to hide it because this habit of heeseung hasn't changed in that aspect.Ā
heeseung always loved ramen, it's his favorite.Ā
you had just gotten rice with some grilled meat and a fried egg, something simple but delicious. heeseung is busy slurping on his noodles when you decide to break the silence, āhow did you find me, heeseung?ā you ask, causing heeseung to choke a bit on his food at the random question.Ā
he quickly apologizes, grabbing a tissue to wipe his mouth before responding, āoh, yeah about that. donāt be mad but jay told me. itās not his fault though, i practically begged him.ā heeseung says, eye widening as if to prevent you from getting upset that jay had given heeseung your address without permission.Ā
you were a bit upset, especially because jay was the one that knew what happened with everything out of all of the people in your life. you made sure to bring this up to your cousin when you had the chance, keeping in mind that jay would get a piece of your mind about this.Ā
the rest of the breakfast was filled with the same awkward tension as you two ate your food in silence, every once in a while asking each other questions for some small talk but nothing that the two of you talked about did anything to cut through the awkwardness. when you and heeseung finished eating, he kept his word about taking care of the bill, and although you wouldnāt have cared if he didnāt, it was nice because it felt just like old times.Ā
back in college, when you and heeseung were little broke college kids; he always paid no matter what it was. a late night snack? heeseung paid. you were craving boba? heeseung paid. it was your birthday? heeseung paid. even when it wasnāt food, heeseung paid because he loved taking care of you even in small matters like paying for your things.Ā
a sign you shouldāve seen sooner that heeseung saw you as more than just a friend.Ā
āthanks for breakfast and dropping off heejin at school. have a good day, heeseung.ā you say while exiting his car. youāre startled by heeseungās sudden action when he shouts when and runs out of the car and around to your side, you give him a confused look from inside of the car as you watch him. heeseung closes your door and reopens it for you, āmadam.ā he says, while gesturing with his hand and a slight bow.Ā
you couldnāt help but laugh but when heeseung raises his head to look at you, your expression instantly changes because you didnāt want to give heeseung the satisfaction that you found it amusing. you were still upset at heeseung for something of the past and although itās been harbored inside of you for years on end, you couldnāt help but feel it slowly rising back to the top ever since you had returned to korea.Ā
heeseung walks slowly behind you as you make your way to the front door like a lost puppy and when you get to unlocking your door,Ā he clears his throat, gaining your attention.Ā
ālook⦠i know we havenāt spoken or seen each other in years, but iām not going to act like it wasnāt the hardest five years of my life. you kind of just disappeared without explanation and when i tried to reach out⦠i didnāt hear back.Ā
i had even asked our friends and they didnāt have anything to tell me, i mean- i knew jay wouldāve known because heās your cousin but he didnāt tell me anything.Ā
can we please just talk?ā heeseung was rambling and you felt bad because you could tell he was a bit anxious and probably rehearsed this in his head.Ā
āyn.. i missed you so much and i tried to practice what i wanted to say to you when i saw you again but iāve just thrown that all out the window.Ā
say something..? please?ā and you could feel yourself slowly falling back into that old familiar place. the one where you could look into heeseungās eyes and you could tell how he was really feeling even if he tried to mask it with his rambling.Ā
āheeseung, why donāt you come inside and then we can talk⦠not out here..ā you said with a chuckle and heeseung eagerly nods, a smile on his lips at the invitation into your home, a stepping stone back into your life.Ā
you donāt know where this conversation was going earlier and now that itās almost been two hours since you saw heeseung again, you still didnāt know what to expect.Ā
ācan i get you something to drink?ā you ask and he lets you know that water is fine so after a few minutes, you return to find heeseung standing in your living room, admiring the photos you framed of yourself and your daughter.Ā
āyou guys look so happy.ā heeseung comments as he joins you on the couch, setting the two cups of water in front of the two of you. āheeseung.. i donāt know what to say to be honest. thereās a lot iāve wanted to say to you and over the last five years, iāve only wanted to say more.Ā
i didnāt mean to disappear i just-ā
āthen why? why did you leave?ā heeseung says, interrupting you and his eyes have transitioned into one that expressed that he was pleading, begging, and waiting for an answer from you. an answer that he had been waiting for since the day you left.Ā
on the other hand, you were too. you had so many questions for heeseung but you knew that you couldnāt get answers without having to answer any of heeseungās questions. you werenāt sure how to answer heeseung. you wanted to be honest and tell him the full truth but you didnāt even know if you were ready to face that.Ā
it was five years ago but now, sitting in front of heeseung as he looked at you with tears threatening to fall from his eyes, you couldnāt bring yourself to relive those moments where you felt the most alone, unwanted, and misunderstood person in the world.Ā
you stuttered to answer and the longer you thought about the more complicated it became in your head. your breathing started to become heavy and your eyes were constantly blinking. you couldnāt look at heeseung any longer because it made you feel uneasy and nauseous, the anxiety of this moment having built up inside of you for so long that now that it was all happening, it was corroding the stability you had worked so hard to build in your head.Ā
āare you ok, yn?ā heeseung asked and his voice sounded muffled to you and as he scooted closer, the image of heeseung in your vision blurred and doubled like he was a mirage. you were starting to get light headed and that was when you knew that you were going to faint, the anxiety had taken over your brain and before you knew it your eyes were fluttering closed and heeseung was catching you in his arms before your body could fall over onto the coffee table.Ā
heeseung catches you instantly when you notice your body start to go limp, rocking back and forth. he wasnāt sure what happened but something mustāve been bothering you so much that you had fainted in his arms. heeseung tries his best to gently position you onto your couch in a comfortable position, moving your legs into place and softly setting your head on the armrest with a pillow propped up under.Ā
he admired your sleeping figure and if it wasnāt for the fact that you had fainted, he probably wouldāve found this moment cute. it reminded him of the first time heeseung had realized he liked you more than he thought he did. the two of you had gotten very drunk one night after failing your economics exam and you had a habit of getting sleepy when drinking.Ā
you were in the middle of talking when your head started to get wobbly and your eyelids had become heavy and before you knew it; you were falling asleep next to heeseung; your head softly landing on his shoulder like a makeshift pillow. he found it cute and he still does.Ā
āĖŹÉ five years ago
you had been texting with heeseung all night, he had been going through something and although you wanted to know what it was; you settled on just making him feel better. like a good friend would do. your crush on heeseung has something your friends had known about for a while and although youāve wanted to confess your feelings to him for a while now, you were too afraid of ruining your friendship and it potentially affecting your whole friend group.Ā
heeseung was currently on his way to your dorm and it was like you were waiting for a blind date. you fidget with the tassel on your throw pillow as you wait for him on your bed, running through the different scenarios in your head of whatās been bothering him.Ā
he was fine the last few days but today something had shifted; heeseung felt like he was carrying something heavy on his mind and it was showing. he had sent you a string of messages that represented someone on the verge of a crash out and all you could do was worry for him, eventually inviting him over so you could talk and find a way to make him feel better.Ā
to which heeseung accepted instantly as if that was what he was waiting for.Ā
after a few minutes, a knock on your door softly echoes throughout your dorm as youāre just about to text heeseung if he was alright. āhee-ā you say, getting cut off when heeseung storms into your room, breathing unsteady as if he had run over to you.Ā
āwhatās wrong, are you ok?ā you ask, worry settled onto your face as you shut the door behind you.Ā
heeseung is standing facing away as he tries to catch his breath, unsure of how to talk to you about what has been weighing on his mind heavily. a reality that heās finally chosen to come to terms with despite thinking it was all his delusions until recently.Ā
āhee?ā you ask again and he whips around to face you, your expression softening when you see that it looks like he hasnāt slept and looks absolutely exhausted. his eyes were red, cheeks a bit sunken, and the shadows around his eyes were more prominent. he looked like heās so emotionally and physically drained you couldnāt help but rush over to him, cupping his face in worryā rubbing his cheek with your thumb and you could feel heeseung melt into your hand.Ā
his eyes flutter closed as he breathes a sigh of relief; like your touch alone was enough to soothe his mind even though the reason for his distress partially had something to do with you. you guide heeseung to your bed and you canāt help but frown at his appearance, you didnāt know how long this has been going on but it seems that it was enough to reflect on his face.Ā
āhee? are you ok?ā you ask and he finally takes a deep breath before responding, āyn.. i just want you to know that i donāt want any of this to change us.. and i hope weāll be okay after this but-ā heeseung begins.Ā
āheeseung youāre scaring me..ā you whisper, anxiety building inside of you as heeseung tries to avoid eye contact with you.Ā
ājust- please listen.. i donāt want you to think of me any differently after i say this butā¦
i think i love you.āĀ
and when those five words leave heeseungās lips, everything goes silent.Ā
youāve been wanting to hear heeseung say those words for so long, wishing that he would reciprocate your feelings, confess his love to you the way youāve been too afraid to confess to him, and now that he has; you didnāt know what to do or say.Ā
heeseung was finally able to look into your eyes, looking for an answer because the silence after his confession had him thinking that he shouldnāt have said anything in the first place.Ā
āplease, say something..ā he whispers, voice trembling like heād be in tears at any moment.Ā
āhee⦠i just-ā when you try to respond even though you werenāt sure what to say, heeseung brings his hands to your face and brings it closer to his; āplease tell me you feel the same way or else i might go insane.ā he whispers, his lips just a few inches away from yours.Ā
heeseungās gaze trails from your eyes down your face and lands to your lips, heeseung absentmindedly licks his own as if it were a physical reaction to seeing yours. āi do heeseung-ā you begin but before you could finish your sentence; his lips are on yours.Ā
the dryness of his lips instantly disappears as your two lips dance with his. a kiss that both of you had been longing for since you two have first met, like there was tension between the two of you that could only be relieved with one another. everyone in the room could feel it but neither of you ever wanted to confront that no matter how badly you wanted to.Ā
heeseung pulls away for a moment, allowing the two of you to catch your breath; āiām sorry, i shouldāve asked but i just couldnāt wait any longer..ā heeseung murmurs, his bedroom eyes glued onto yours as you try to gather your thoughts. you had been waiting to share this moment with heeseung for so long but for some reason it wasnāt like how youād dreamt.
āheeseung, this is wrong.. what about your girl-ā youāre about to bring up heeseungās girlfriend but he just shakes his head. āyouāre the one i want.. itās always been youā he says, connecting your lips once again, the kiss being just as passionate and filled with hunger like youāre both deprived of the other.Ā
your dorm was soon filled with you and heeseungās pleasure, a craving that was finally satisfied after so many years; finally having you in his arms. you never thought this day would come and although you thought that it would never come; you were going to cherish this moment with heeseung.Ā
the next few days felt like a dream. you and heeseung were inseparable and itās everything you had hoped for when you used to think about how your life would be after confessing to heeseung about how you truly felt.Ā
only for him to confess first, leaving you shocked that he felt the same way.Ā
the conversation after that night in your dorm room was a bit awkward but the two of you quickly learned to laugh it off and move forward with your relationship. you had agreed that youād keep this between yourselves for now because you were unsure of how it would affect the dynamic of your friend group. you even held off from telling jay, your cousin, who you told everything to.Ā
it was hard for the first few weeks to hide your relationship with heeseung because whenever all of you were together, you wanted nothing more than to hold his hand or sit on his lap, the tension from before being converted to secret longing glances and smiles that you two would try to hide from your friends.Ā
the good lasted for only a few months, until the fateful day that would change your life forever. you had woken up feeling like a ton of bricks had fallen on top of you while you were sleeping. you were fatigued, nauseous, and spent the morning hunched over your toilet as you threw up your dinner from the night before.Ā
you werenāt sure why your body was suddenly feeling unwell so you made a trip to the pharmacy to grab some medicine, browsing the aisles to see what would help with your symptoms, and that was when your eyes landed on the sleek white box towards the end of the shelf.Ā
āpregnancy test: accurate results in just under 10 minutesā it read on the box in bright blue font. there was no way that could be the cause of your distress, you didnāt have sex with anyone else besides.. heeseung⦠that night.. three months ago.Ā
your mind starts to spiral as you think about the possibility that you could be pregnant with heeseungās child as that night replays in your headā now just remembering that the idea of a condom was absent from both of your minds as you were both in the heat of the moment, exploring one anotherās bodies.Ā
frantically grabbing a few boxes, you make your way to the cash register but are stopped in your tracks when a voice calls out to you; āyn?ā and when you turn around itās heeseungās ex-girlfriend.Ā
the conversation with her was short but awkward. she just wanted to clear the air, letting you know that she had no animosity towards you or heeseung and that she wished you two the best. which confused you because you certainly didnāt tell her and know that heeseung wouldnāt have told her without discussing with you first. when you asked her to clarify, her explanation only heightens the mental distress you were currently in.Ā
āheeseung and i broke up a few months ago and i just figured you two would be together by now..ā was all she said before walking away.Ā
the night that heeseung confessed his love to you and where you had shared one of the most intimate moments two people could experience together; also happened to be the same night that heeseung broke up with his girlfriend.Ā
leading you to believe that it was the only reason he felt so inclined to be with you. like you were just some rebound that heeseung knew would be waiting for him like a lost puppy who had been left at home all day, knowing that if he called out to youā youād come running to him.Ā
you were a rebound.Ā
did he even mean anything he had said to you or was it all just a way to get you to play along with his desires? did he even know you felt that way about him? and he used it as a way to get what he wanted?Ā
you felt disgusted knowing that the moment you shared with heeseung that you had been waiting for was merely just a way for him to get over his ex-girlfriend. a second option that he knew he could fall back on but not in the same way that he wouldāve been supported by his friends who he could fall back on during a hard time, but more so like you were just a stepping stone and a temporary fix for the despair he was in that night.Ā
using you to forget his ex if it meant that he would feel better at your expense.Ā
it feels like the ten minutes that you were waiting for the pregnancy test to be ready was the longest ten minutes of your life. āless than ten minutes, my assā you scoffed as the clock showed itās been ten minutes and the results werenāt being shown through the small indicator window yet.Ā
your head falls back in annoyance and to your surprise, the next time you look at the test, a giant plus sign is clearer than day. you swallowed the dryness in your throat, throwing the test into the garbage and ripping open into the two other boxes you bought to test again.Ā
refusing to believe that the first one was accurate, like it was a fluke, a false positive, anything to convince yourself that this was not happening.Ā
but it was.Ā
āĖŹÉĀ
when you wake up, about an hour later, you almost donāt recognize where you are until you realize youāre wrapped up in a blanket on your bed. you remember being on the couch but donāt recall how you ended up on your bed. you sluggishly roll out of your bed, eyes half open as you scratch your head and make your way to the living room; only to find heeseung sleeping soundly on your couch.Ā
shock shoots through you as the memories of what happened before you fainted return to your mind, remembering that you and heeseung had reunited after not seeing one another for the last five years when he showed up unannounced at your front door.Ā
you slowly walk over to him, momentarily admiring his peaceful face as he snoozed on your couch, clutching onto the small pillow with his arms. āi know youāre staring at me.ā heeseung murmurs, opening one eye to look at you; a grin on his face when he sees the annoyed look on yours.Ā
āwhat are you still doing here?ā you ask, crossing your arms and tilting your head to one side as you questioned him. āwow, already kicking me out? if we were in college you wouldāve begged me to stay while you tried to convince your roommate to leave.ā he says, sitting up straight with the same playful smile on his lips.Ā
āokay, if youāre gonna stay then i guess we need to have this talk donāt we?ā you ask, swallowing the lump in your throat as you try to muster up the courage to have this conversation after it led you to faint just an hour prior. you take a seat next to heeseung, much like how the two of you were positioned earlier and the night whenĀ he showed up at your dorm, both of you sitting on your bed; looking into each otherās eyes as if you were the only two people that existed.Ā
holding one another so closely like at any given moment one of you would be torn away from the other. only if heeseung knew that you would be torn away from him months after, maybe he wouldnāt have made the decision he did that night.Ā
but that night was nothing that heād ever regret.Ā
āso.. where do i begin.. you say trying to think of how you wanted to startāĀ
that night, when we hooked up in my dorm room; i know why you showed up. when you told me that you loved me it was everything that i couldāve hoped for. i feel like i started to fall for you the day we first met and every day since then i fell for you even more but i just thought that i wasnāt someone that you could ever love.Ā
so, even though it hurt me, i settled with being okay with just being friends; because it was better than not having you in my life at all.Ā
but when you told me you loved me that night, i was the happiest girl in the world. until i wasnāt. i felt like the few months that we were dating was the happiest moments of my life, obviously not compared to now because i have my daughter, but iāll cherish those moments forever because it truly made me so happy to be with youāāĀ
āthen why did you leave?ā heeseung pleads, begging for an answer as you somewhat tiptoe around it. āa few months later, i ran into your ex while i was in the store and i found out that the two of you had broken up the same night we hooked upā¦ā heeseung was now shaking his head in denial at what he was hearing.Ā
āheeseung, you used me as a rebound for your breakupā no, yn. thatās not true. i promise i would never do that to you.ā heeseung whines, shaking his head in frustration that youāve harbored this misunderstanding about him for the last five years which drove you away from him.Ā
āĖŹÉ five years ago, two days before moving away
āwhy have you been so distant?ā heeseung asks, his doe eyes looking at you as he pleads for your attention, lights reflecting in his eyes that made it look like he was tearing up, and he was trying his best not to cry in front of the girl heās loved for so long.Ā
you couldnāt bring yourself to tell him, this battle inside of you that youāve been going through on whether or not you wanted to tell heeseung the life changing news, your oversized hoodie covering up the secret you have.Ā
āheeseung, i just donāt think we can do this anymore.ā was the only thing you could say before having to do the hardest thing youāve ever had to do.Ā
walk away from the boy youāve loved for so long.Ā
heeseung didnāt know what he had done that led you to breakup with him but he held onto this idea that you hated him ever since. he respected you enough to let you walk away from him even though it took every ounce of strength inside of him to not run after you and engulf you in his arms. he wouldāve begged you to stay if he could, but he didnāt.Ā
not running after you and fighting for your love was his biggest regret.Ā
two days later, heād find out from jay that you left the country and although he begged and begged jay to let him know where you moved to, how to reach you, and to help him get in contact with you; jay respected you too much after learning what led you to leave to just set you back by allowing heeseung to waltz right back into your life.Ā
jay tried his best to not let his judgement of heeseung be clouded by what you told him, but he couldnāt help but feel empathy towards you. his cousin whoās life was going to change drastically because of his best friend and all he could do was support you from afar even if it meant helping you move into his childhood home where jayās parents would be there for you to help you throughout the whole thing.Ā
āĖŹÉĀ
āheeseung, this is all too much for me right now. i want to have this conversation, iāve thought about it every day for the last five years, but i donāt think iād ever be ready for it.Ā
i think you should leave.āĀ
and as much as heeseung wanted to stay, beg for you to let him stay and talk it out, but he respected you too much to fight with you.Ā
so just like that night, he walked away even if he didnāt want to.Ā
you sighed as you closed the door behind heeseung, peeking into the small window beside your front door to watch him leave, shoulders low and head hunched over as he walked to his car. you close your eyes and exhale before swinging the door back open and calling for heeseung, āheeseung!ā you shout and heās instantly whipping around at the sound of your voice.Ā
āheejinās birthday is in two weeks, youāre invited if youād like to come.ā and heeseungās attitude changes, a bright smile spreading onto his face as your words ring like church bells in his ears.Ā
āiāll be there.ā he says before waving goodbye and driving off.Ā
a small smile tugging on your lips as you tried your best not to feel like that young girl you once were whenever youād get shy around heeseung.Ā
āĖŹÉĀ
the next two weeks is filled with heeseungās endless attempts to make his way into your everyday routine whether it was showing up again unannounced to take heejin to school, to which sheād never deny because heeseung always brought her the juice box she really likes, or if it was him asking you if you needed help with anything for heejinās birthday.Ā
heeseung was going to find his way back into your life even if he annoyed youā but all you had in your mind was her birthday despite heeseungās attempts to occupy your every waking thought.Ā
the build up for heejinās birthday was filled with excitement and anxiety as you tried to make her 6th birthday something special because it would be her first birthday in korea. in the past, her birthdays in seattle was mostly just you and her, sometimes your parents would fly in town to visit but not often.Ā
and now that youāre back in korea and surrounded by so many people that loved you; you were going to make sure this birthday was something that she remembers. her birthday was in just 24 hours and everything was set in place.Ā
it was somewhat difficult to keep everything hidden from her because she was one curious girl and was constantly rambling about what she wanted for her birthday, unicorns, rainbows, the color pink, a cake that was chocolate but also vanilla and had strawberries, the color pink, a pinata that was shaped like bunny or maybe a unicorn, and oh, did i mention.. pink?Ā
pink was her favorite color and it showed with every since thing she always picked out for herself was pink.Ā
at midnight when the clock indicated that it was finally her birthday, you snuck into her room as she slept soundly with a small cupcake and a number six candle in the center. you gently walked over to her and softly sang happy birthday, waking her up and her eyes instantly widened at the sight of you.Ā
She was smiling from ear to ear and clapping her hands together in joy. āhappy birthday my sweet bambi.ā you said after singing happy birthday, softly patting her head as she makes a wish and blows out the candle.Ā
āthank you mama.ā her small voice coming out just above a whisper. āsleep now, okay? you have a big day tomorrow.ā booping her nose as she enthusiastically goes back to bed, eager to fall back asleep and wake up the next morning to her big day.Ā
birthday preparations started earlier for you as you made sure to do some last minute cleaning and organizing for the party. setting out all of the stuff in your backyard with the help of jay and your parents. your mom busied your daughter so that she wasnāt running around and to stop her from looking through every single thing at her party.Ā
she was so happy, a type of happiness you wished would stay with her forever.Ā
soon after, the preparations were complete and heejin was dressed in a sparkly pink dress, one that she had picked up several weeks in advance when the two of you were shopping together on a mommy and daughter date.Ā
your friends, sunghoon, jay, jake, karina, and winter had shown up with gifts that made your daughter smile so bright. her classmates had shown up, excited to celebrate heejin on her big dayā you watched from the side as you took in all of it. some of the people you loved most in one place to celebrate the person you loved most.Ā
seeing your daughter happy made you happy and that was all you could wish for.Ā
you took a gander at all of the people enjoying the party when a knock at your front door catches your attention. you jog over to the door and are met with heeseung, a cheesy grin on his face as he carries several boxes in his arms, peering from behind it to reveal himself.Ā
āi hope iām not too late?ā he says and you just chuckle, telling him that the party was just beginning. you invite him inside, instructing him to set her gifts onto the table in the far side of the kitchen as the two of you join everyone in the backyard.Ā
you can hear gasps coming from your friends as they see you and heeseung standing together, a sight that none of them thought theyād see so soon. āyo! heeseung, you made it man.ā jake says, standing up to shake his friendās hug as everyone follows to do the same.Ā
karina and winter send you a teasing glance, the two of them pointing to you and heeseung like you were all kids teasing their friend when their crush walks by, earning them an eye roll as you laugh it off.Ā
āwhereās the birthday girl?ā heeseung asks, still holding onto a small gift as he walks back to you. you pointed at heejin who was playing tag with her friends; unafraid to get rowdy with the little boys in her class. āheejin, bambi! come here, youāve got a gift.ā you shout and she comes running as she hears the word gift.Ā
heeseung crouches down to her size and hands her the gift, āhappy birthday heejin.ā he says with a soft smile, one that heejin returns. hugging him to thank him, ācan i open it mama?ā she asks and you gesture her to ask heeseung since it was his giftā earning an eager nod from heeseung who encouraged her to open it.Ā
heejin tears into the small box, a gasp escaping from her tiny mouth as she sees the box, the gift wrap revealing a soft brown deer plushie with a pink bow and blushing cheeks. she jumps up and down in excitement, her arms wrapping around heeseungās neck to show her appreciation for the gift. seeing heeseung hug her back pulls at your heartstrings as you watch all of it unfold, an image in your head that you thought youād never see.Ā
your daughter and her father sharing a tender moment with an embrace.Ā
āĖŹÉĀ
the party dies down once the sun has set and most of the guests have gone. the only people left were your parents, winter and sunghoon, and heeseung. your friends had offered to stay back to help you clean and because your mother was your mother, she wasnāt going to let you clean up alone even if you had your friends to help.Ā
heejin was in the living room with bright eyes as she looked at all of the gifts she had received, several gifts of stuffed animals, toys, clothes, and other presents that a small child would appreciate. āokay, bambi letās get ready for bed. you can play with all of your toys tomorrow, ok?ā and heejin nods, grabbing the deer plushie that heeseung got her and taking it with her as you help her get ready for bed.Ā
heeseung notices you and heejin walking away and excuses himself from your mother to which she just nods and tells him itās okay and sheāll take care of the rest of the chores in the kitchen. heeseung parted with a small bow as he makes his way to what he assumes is heejinās room.Ā
winter and sunghoon on the other are glancing at each other, having confirmation with just their eyes as they watch heeseung run after you.Ā
āyou know.. not to be a conspiracy theorist but doesnāt heejin look like.. heeseung?ā winter asks, whispering to sunghoon as she walks a bit closer to him. āno, i see it too. also, the nickname? we used to say heeseung looks like a baby deer all the time when we were in college and yn nicknamed her daughter bambi?ā sunghoon adds and winter looks at him like heās just spilled the deepest secret one can hold.Ā
sunghoon and winter send each other knowing glances as they both arrive at a revelation.Ā
āhey, you guys alright?ā heeseung asks while popping his head into heejins room with a soft knock. you tell him that youāre just her ready for bed when you wave him inside. āthank you for the gift, she loves it a lot. iāve been looking for that thing for months and i canāt believe you were able to find it.ā you tell him and heeseung chuckles.
āitās no big dealā he responds and you ask him about how he knew to get that for her. āshe talks about it whenever i drive her to school, she also mentioned that her mommy calls her bambi and i figured it would make the perfect gift.ā he explains, making it a point to reference the bambi part as he knew that was also a nickname he had within your friend group, one that you started.Ā
you hoped that you werenāt too obvious with that but chose not to dwell much longer on the nickname as it could just be coincidenceā although it wasnāt.Ā
āthank you for the bambi!ā heejin says as she walks back into the room in her pajamas. heeseung pats her small head as she climbs into her bed, tucking her into her blanket as you ask her about her dayā heejin rambling on about her favorite parts of the day which just turned out to be every single aspect of her party.Ā
you smiled at her as she went on and on, ābut my favorite is the bambi.ā she says while stretching her arms out with the plushie in her hands and then bringing it into her arms for a hug. āthank you dad.ā heejin says and it catches you and heeseung off guardā heejin herself doesnāt even realize what sheās said as she gets cozy in bed.Ā
there was a sense of awkwardness between the two of you at the comment by your daughter and it causes heeseung to start questioning things and putting puzzle pieces together. the possibility that he couldāve been heejinās dad hadnāt crossed his mind once and now that itās been brought up; itās all he was thinking about.Ā
āgoodnight, baby.ā you say before placing a kiss onto heejinās forehead and as youāre about to leave; she calls out to you. āmama, can you sing me a lullaby?ā she asks and even though you were exhausted, you werenāt going to say no to your daughter.Ā
ācan i?ā heeseung asks and you couldnāt bring yourself to say no when heejin looked so excited, so you nod and heeseung takes a seat on the bed next to heejin who was still hugging the deer plushie.Ā
heeseung then begins to sing a song to your daughter. you havenāt heard his voice in so long, the melodic trill of his vocals, a symphonic honey like sound that lulled your daughter to sleep in no time, her soft snores mixing with heeseungās beautiful singing.Ā
when the two of you were certain that she was sound asleep, you carefully walked out of her room and shut the door as softly as you could. as you try to walk back to finish some cleaning, heeseung holds onto your hand and whips you back around to look at him, his gaze filled with love and the same type of longing that has lingered inside of him for years on end.Ā
ācan we talk?ā heeseung says and you nod, letting him know to continue.Ā
āi know that i hurt you when i made it feel like you were just a rebound, but that couldnāt have been more wrong. it was always you, iāve always loved you and i would always choose you. my ex and i were constantly fighting throughout that week and the day i came running to you was when we broke up but i never told you whyā¦Ā
we broke up because she realized how much i loved you in comparison to her and it wasnāt fair that whenever i was with her, all i could think about was you.Ā
iāve loved you since the day i met you and i just never had the courage to say that, but i would write your name in the sand again and again after the waves have swept it away if it means that my love for you is shared across the seas.āĀ
tears streaming down your eyes as heeseungās hands gently cup your face, his thumb wiping your face of your tears. heeseung brings you into his arms for an embrace and when he feels your arms wrap around him, he breathes a sigh of relief knowing that he was finally able to get that off of his chest.
something that heās had weighing on him for so long and was so happy to finally profess his love for you. the girl he loves and will always love.Ā
when you pull away from him with a sniffle, heeseung wipes your tears again as you lock eyes, āis she mine?ā he asks in reference and you nod, finally telling heeseung the secret that youāve held for the last five years.Ā
tears sting heeseungās eyes at the information and he holds you even tighter in his arms when he hears the news. he couldnāt believe that the beautiful girl he just sang to sleep was his daughter. joy was an understatement to describe the emotion that he was feeling. the type of love only a family could share where theyād do everything to keep the family together and happy.Ā
you and heeseung spend the night sharing stories of what youāve missed in each otherās lives in the time that you were gone. tears, laughter, and tender touches shared between the two of you as you do your best to rebuild your relationship from scratch.Ā
āthank you for giving me another chance.ā heeseung whispers as you lay in his arms, the moonlight shining onto your faces, leaving a small white cast into the room.Ā
āthank you for not giving up on me.ā you respond, heeseung placing a small kiss onto your temple before you both drift off to sleep. a type of joy and delight radiating from your bodies that neither of you have felt in so long. something you would have only gotten from one another.Ā
āĖŹÉĀ
youāre awoken to the smell of grilled meat wafting throughout your home, your nose dragging you to the living room to find heejin and heeseung in the kitchen cooking together. āwhat do we have here?ā you ask and they turn to look at you, āmama! heās teaching me how to make pancakes and bacon.ā she says, running over to you and hugging your legs. you pick her up and walk back to heeseung who was setting the last pancake onto the plate.Ā
āletās eat.ā he says and you all sit at the table together and enjoy breakfast like a family for the first time. a moment that youāve always wanted to share as a whole family and now that youāve finally been able to share the truth with heeseung, itās everything youāve ever wanted.Ā
āheejin, i have something to tell you, ok?ā you tell her and sheās looking up at you with her big doe eyes, identical to heeseungās who was shyly sitting to the side. āremember when you asked me where your papa is?ā and heejin nods, a small pout on her lips.Ā
ābambi, heeseung is your papa.ā and youāve never seen heejin move so fast before as sheās jumping out of her chair and into heeseungās arms to which he welcomes her, hugging his daughter with so much love that you could feel it coming off of them. heeseung extends one of his arms to invite you over and as tears fall from your eyes once again, you join in on your first ever family hug.Ā
you didnāt know when this day would come and you were elated that it came sooner after you had been running from it for the last five years. the happiest moment of your life with the family youāve created couldāve never happened if you didnāt face heeseung and allowed for him to bare his soul and heart to you. something you shouldāve never been afraid of.Ā
heeseung waited for you every single day, thinking about the day that youād come back to him and when youād finally be his. to his surprise, you gave him a beautiful daughter that, although he has a lot of time to make up for, was so happy that he wasnāt too late to watch her grow and be a part of her life.Ā
no matter how hard you tried to run from having to face this hardship, heeseung was thousands of miles away back in korea waiting for you with only love in his mind. wanting nothing more than to have you back in his life and to never let you go like he had done the first time.Ā
the image of your broken face replayed in his mind every night when he slept, thinking about the pain he mustāve put you through without knowing the full capacity of what you had to experience alone. he wished he was there by your side through every single step, holding your hand in the delivery room, taking photos of you as your stomach grew, witnessing his daughterās first steps and first word, everything.Ā
but now that he was back, he was going to make sure that he didnāt miss anything else.Ā
you and your daughter instantly became the most important people in his life, knowing that heād love the both of you endlessly, unconditionally, and forever.Ā
forever.Ā
something that heād always associate with you because you are his forever and now, so is your daughter.Ā
love should be forever and you were forever going to be loved by him. it was like love and forever was synonymous with you because to heeseung, loving you is forever.Ā
synopsis. following your ex boyfriendās sudden disappearance, lee heeseung seemingly enters your life at the perfect time.
pairing. stalker bf!heeseung x fem reader
genre. dark romance, smut, light humor.
word count. 6.1k+
warnings. swearing, obsessive behavior, stalking, brief mention of drink spiking (doesnāt actually happen), mention of alcohol consumption, person held in captivity, mention of past infidelity, extremely brief mention of childbirth, smut [ consensual somno, oral (fem receiving), p in v, sex toy usage ]. this fic contains dark content and is not at all how i view these idols. minors and ageless blogs dni. 18+ content read at your own discretion.
featuring. hwang yeji & shin ryujin (itzy)
a/n. happy valentineās day babies!! wanted to do something cute and light but i fear it just wasnāt working out ⦠so this right here is for my dark romance girlies hehe enjoy! drew inspo from the television show āyouā! shoutout to bae @yangkkomi for beta reading
Lee Heeseung has the worst case of separation anxiety when it comes to you.
The mere thought of being away from you for too long is enough to send him into a spiral, and you barely even realize the effect you had on him. His naturally clingy nature raised no concerns to you; in fact, you relish in his borderline unhealthy infatuation with you ā seeing as your previous boyfriend of ten months disappeared on a random Tuesday afternoon, leaving nothing behind but a note claiming he needed to start a new life.
The week of Park Jongseongās sudden disappearance was agonizing. Yes, he assured everyone he was okay and simply was moving onto a new chapter in his life, and that no one drove him to make such a rash decision, but something about the situation didnāt sit well with you.
Jongseong wasnāt impulsive in the slightest, and you would argue he was one of, if not the most, mature, level headed men youāve dated. He was distant at times which often felt unsettling, but had his reasonings and assured you he couldnāt have been happier in the relationship. That was one of your favorite things about Jongseong, how he always knew just what to say to calm your nerves, and how he always had a rational explanation for everything.
Running away so suddenly was out of character for him, and a part of you feared that, despite the note left behind, there was something malicious going on that led to his disappearance.
Your older sister, Yeji, had just given birth and was in the midst of planning her wedding, while your parents deemed themselves as ātoo busy to deal with your issuesā, leaving you to become a shell of yourself without having anyone to confide in. Days turned into weeks of you locking yourself in your apartment, typing your ex boyfriendās name into the search bar over and over, hoping something new would pop up; but nothing ever did.
After a long, tiring day of Zoom meetings and doing more research on Jongseong, your eyes had begun to flutter shut when a knock on your front door wakes you. Expecting it to be your Doordash driver dropping off a greasy, million calorie cheeseburger and a can of soda, you yell out to leave it at the front door. The knocking persisted, and with a sigh, you dragged your feet all the way to the front door, certainly shocked at the man that stood before you.
You donāt even give him the chance to explain himself before youāre asking, āWhy do you look familiar?ā
He grins at you, absentmindedly drumming his fingers against the cardboard box in his hands. āUnless youāre a book lover we probably donāt know each other; Iām a manager of a bookstore downtown, Iām there all the time.ā
āIs it⦠Brookhaven? You guys have K-pop albums too, right?ā
āBook-haven,ā he corrects you with a polite nod, āand, yeah, we have albums. Have you been to the shop?ā
āA few times.ā You mumble, suddenly feeling very self conscious of your outfit choice. With the option to have your camera off during the Zoom meetings, you felt no desire to get dressed for the day, opting to work in your oversized sweatshirt and sleep shorts.Ā
The unnamed man wore casual clothing ā a grey North Face jacket atop a black t-shirt and white cargos ā yet, you felt completely underdressed in comparison to him. His gaze was piercing yet gentle, like he carried a certain confidence about himself in a way that didnāt come off as cocky or arrogant. Though, you really couldnāt blame him if he were the conceited type; he was definitely an attractive man.
The silver chain on his neck had been paired perfectly with matching earrings, including a silver hoop on his helix. His hair, though likely not his natural color, suited him perfectly; the subtle curls and waves giving him a classic, boyish look with bangs that fell just beneath his eyebrows.
You clear your throat, gesturing towards the package in his hands, āAre you dropping this off?ā
āYes! Uh, FedEx dropped off some packages at my store yesterday and it looks like this mustāve gotten mixed in,ā he explains, extending the package towards you, āI tried calling the number on the label yesterday but no one answered, so Iām just swinging by to drop it off.ā
You accept the package, rolling your eyes at the mixup. āFedEx is always doing bullshit.ā
He lets out a dry chuckle, āTrust, Iām fully aware. The driver for our block is this old-ass man; I once caught him asleep in his truck.ā
You laugh a little too loud at this, inwardly cringing at yourself afterwards as you tuck the package beneath your arm. āWell, thanks for bringing my packageā¦?ā You trail off, hoping heāll complete your sentence by offering you his name.
āHeeseung, Lee Heeseung.ā
āThank you, Heeseung, Lee Heeseung.ā You repeat, earning a grin from him.
āNo worries,ā he responds, fishing something out of his pocket, āand feel free to stop by the store sometime, especially now that you have a coupon.ā He says, offering you the small slip of paper from his pocket.
You accept it, eyes widening at the āBOGO FREE KPOP ALBUMā staring back at you. āIā¦is this real? You really donāt have to.ā
Heeseung shrugs, shoving his hands in his pockets, āItās no big deal, I keep coupons on me to hand out, anyway. Plus, weāre trying to make room for more stock.ā He says, slowly walking backwards down the hall as he inches away from your door. Like a magnet, your body automatically angles towards him, hoping heāll say something else.
āYouāll just have to request a manager when youāre ready to use it, regular associates canāt process certain coupons under their employee number.ā
You nod, free-hand gripping the doorframe as your eyes follow Heeseung, āWhat days do you work?ā
He shrugs again, āDoesnāt have to be me, I have two assistant managers that are there pretty often.ā
āRight, but, when are you there?ā
He pauses, titling his head at you before responding, āMonday through Friday, eleven-to-eight. Sometimes I stop by once or twice on the weekends to check in.ā
āWill you be there tomorrow?ā
āAll day, eleven-to-eight.ā
The following morning, you had the sudden urge to buy a K-pop album and get another one for free.
Heeseung had spent a good portion of that morning conversing with you from behind the counter, listening intently when you got on the topic of your previous boyfriendās disappearance. Itās still a touchy subject for you, and probably not the best thing to talk about while getting to know a guy youāre interested in, but Heeseungās question on how āsuch a pretty girlā like you was single required a truthful answer. Initially, you feared your response of āmy boyfriend went missingā would be enough to scare him off, but Heeseung didnāt seem phased in the slightest.
In fact, in the two-and-a-half months youād been dating Heeseung there was almost nothing you could say or do that would phase him to the point of genuine concern. Not how it took an insane amount of motivation for you in order to clean your apartment (he was fine cleaning it himself), or how often youād forget to take your very much needed medication (he was more than happy to remind you every morning and night, and even went as far as requesting a refill when the bottle was nearly empty and picking it up for you). Catering to your every need was just another simple task for him, and youāre more than grateful that the universe seemingly dropped him right in your lap when you needed it most.
Heeseung was patient, understanding, and was absolutely devoted to your relationship. In his eyes, you deserved nothing but the best, and was keen on making sure to provide for you.Ā
Cooking for you was probably his favorite task. He wasnāt the best at it per se, but improved with every attempt, and you seemed to enjoy his meals despite them not being to his liking.
Heād woken up early this morning to prepare a Valentineās day breakfast for you, planting a gentle kiss on your forehead as he slipped out of bed and into your kitchen. The original plan was to go all out and cook a ridiculous breakfast feast heād seen on TikTok that featured cinnamon rolls, sausage, and fluffy pancakes.
He burnt the first batch of cinnamon rolls and decided it best to simplify your feast down to eggs, bacon, and french toast sticks. Slightly disappointed that his original plan didnāt work out, your boyfriend sighs at himself as he pours a glass of cranberry juice before setting it on a wooden tray table. How he made it to your bedroom without dropping everything was beyond him, considering how he was still weak from sleep and could hardly keep his eyes open.
Heeseung pushed the door open with his foot, peeking his head in slightly and furrowing his brows at your sleeping figure. If not from the noise of clattering dishes, he was almost certain the smell of food would be enough to wake you up. He knew you were a heavy sleeper, but never realized how heavy.
āHow are you still asleep?ā He mumbles to himself with a sigh, setting the tray of food on your desk before retreating to your bed. He digs his knee into the edge of theĀ mattress, gently shaking your leg in an attempt to wake you. You donāt budge, your slumber remaining unaffected as the sounds of your light snoring continue to fill the room. His fingers trail down your leg until they reach the sole of your foot, his fingernails softly tickling the sensitive area until youāre jerking your leg away in discomfort.
āWeirdo.ā You say through a yawn, angling your body until youāre laying on your side.
Heeseung rolls his eyes at your insult, grabbing ahold of your leg as he responds, āA true weirdo wouldāve put their mouth on it, youāre lucky itās just me. Now get up, I made breakfast.ā
Waking you up was no easy task, whether it was seven in the morning or half past noon. Heeseung suspects youāre still recovering from sleep debt after all the nights youād spent lying awake researching Jongseongās disappearance. The nights you could sleep didnāt typically didnāt last long; itād either take hours until you finally drifted off, or youād wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare; leaving you unable to go back to sleep.
Your sleep schedule hadnāt gotten back on track until you met Heeseung, who made sure you were taking melatonin, iron pills, and just about anything that would help you sleep soundly and feel less tired during the day. And while the extra supplements may be working, there was still a lot of sleep debt you were recovering from; an almost concerning amount that made it difficult for you to get up most days.
You groan into your pillow when the smell of Heeseungās freshly made breakfast hits your nose, your mouth nearly salivating from the scent alone. As much as you wanted to sit up and start eating, your limbs were still heavy with exhaustion. āGive me twenty minutes and Iāll be up,ā you plead, āI promise.ā
Heeseung shakes his head. āY/N,ā he whines, ājust get up, I wanna spend time with you before work. You can go back to sleep after I leave.ā
Today was the release day of author, Shin Ryujinās, newest sapphic romance novel that Heeseung could not remember the title of; just that it featured a lot of smut, has over twenty-four chapters, and was highly anticipated. Her team had reached out to Bookhaven not too long ago, inquiring about hosting a Q+A session and book signing event on the day of its release. Initially, Heeseung had planned to reject the offer since it fell on Valentineās day and that type of event required his presence, and heād originally planned on spending the entire day with you. The payout of said event, however, was more than enough to get him on board.
Heād be leaving the shop and heading over to you around five, and have Sunoo or Jungwon close up, leaving him with just seven hours with you that heād planned to make the most of. All he needed now was for you to wake the hell up before he has to leave.
You still donāt budge, mumbling something incoherent before the snores resume and youāve drifted back to sleep.
āBabe,ā he says flatly, shaking your leg. āY/N. Baby. Dude, get up.ā
Still nothing, and Heeseungās on the verge of kissing your forehead and calling it a day, but there is one thing that could get you up.
Slowly, he peels the thick comforter off of your body, relishing in the fact that you chose to sleep in one of his shirts. Allowing himself further onto the mattress, Heeseungās hand reahes for the hem of your shirt, pushing it up just enough to reveal your lavender colored panties. He pauses, glancing up at you momentarily before lowering his head and nestling it between your thighs.
He starts off slow, placing a light kiss on your inner thigh before trailing his lips upwards. Pausing right at your hip bone, Heeseungās fingertips move to the core of your underwear, lightly scratching at your cunt through the soft material. Frustrated, he whines your name once more before slowly trailing your panties down and off your legs, discarding of them on the other side of the mattress.
Fingernails digging into your flesh, he grips your thighs as he repositions himself at eye level with your cunt, inching forward slowly until heās pressing his lips right against yours. Itās gentle at first, much like how heād kiss you any other time, a few gentle pecks until he was desperate for more.
Heeseung tilts his head slightly, and finally has his tongue fall flat against your entrance. The groan that escapes his mouth from the contact comes from deep in his chest, his fingernails leaving crescent-shaped indents on your thighs from how hard heās gripping them.
He licks a long, slow strip along your cunt upwards towards your clit, licking and sucking at the bud as if savoring the feeling of your taste on his tongue. He repeats his movements a few more times, growing desperate as the seconds pass by, each moan and whine from him becoming more desperate and whiny than the last. You shift around slightly, furrowing your brows a bit, but still not fully awake.
Another minute passes by and youāre still asleep. Your body automatically responding to Heeseungās touches, but theyāre still not enough to wake you. Heās not bored in the slightest, though, and would argue that he could probably go on for hours if thatās what it took; but he has to leave soon, and needs you awake as soon as possible.
With a sigh, he kisses your thigh once before twisting his body and reaching over to your nightstand, opening the bottom drawer and digging around slightly until his fingers brush against the rubber vibrator heād been searching for. Itās an air pulsing one youād bought before youād met Heeseung, and when heād discovered it in your room for the first time, heād insisted on implementing it into your sex lives as much as possible.
He turns it on, choosing to keep it on the first setting before pressing it directly on your clit. A sharp gasp escapes your lips at the contact, with Heeseung keeping his gaze fixed on your face. Gently massaging the toy against your cunt, your eyes slowly began to flutter open, a loud moan echoing through the room as Heeseung turned the toy up to a medium setting.
You grab a fistful of Heeseungās hair, yanking him forward until his mouth is on your cunt again. The sudden roughness takes him by surprise, but he doesnāt seem to mind it in the slightest; in fact, he can feel himself stiffening in his boxers from you gripping his hair alone.
Moaning into your cunt, Heeseung does his best to keep the vibrator pressed against you while he eats you out. His desperation was astonishing, his moans nearly being as loud and whiny as yours as he continued.
When youāre finally close, which doesnāt take very long; Heeseung discards the vibrator completely; mindlessly tossing it on the floor to lap at your cunt with his tongue. He presses it flat against you, dragging your wetness up to your clit before sucking the swollen bud between his lips.
You orgasm almost instantly at that, trapping Heeseung's head between your thighs as you come on his face with your back arching off the bed and swears pouring from your lips.
Youāre panting as you come down from your high, breath rigged as you drape your arm against your forehead, āWow.ā
āYou okay?ā Heeseung asks, voice muffled as you finally release his head was still trapped between your thighs.
āShit,ā you loosen the grip, āsorry, Hee.ā
āDonāt apologize. Oh my God, I couldāve died like that and wouldāve been okay with it.ā
Weirdly enough, you donāt think heās joking.
āAnyways,ā he continues, āyou okay?ā
You nod, pressing your lips into a thin line, āIām definitely up.ā
āYeah, me too,ā He responds, tapping on his painfully hard erection. āCan Iā¦?ā
āIf you do all the work, sure.ā
Heeseung scoffs, already moving to tug his pajama pants down, āAs if I ever let you do any of it.ā
Itās not a complaint, Heeseung was more than happy being the more assertive one when it came to your sex life. He didnāt mind doing most of the work as long as it meant you were getting off.
When he turns you to lay on your side you let him, resting your back against his chest as he teases his tip at your entrance. You bite down on your bottom lip, hand gripping the bed sheets when he finally does slide himself in. Heeseung grunts into your ear, placing a gentle hand on your hip, ā ām gonna go a little bit fast, okay? We donāt have a lot of time.ā
He wasnāt exaggerating, either.
At your confirmation, Heeseung pulled out of you entirely before pushing himself back in; his thrusts overwhelmingly fast but not painful or rough. You yelp when he bites down on your neck, though, a habit he picked up upon finding out you enjoy being marked up.
He was certain that neither of you will last long like this, so it doesnāt surprise him that after a few minutes youāre already creeping up on your orgasm. Heeseung takes this as a sign to speed up his already quick thrusts, his nails digging into your hip as he presses his head onto your shoulder.
You finish first with Heeseung just a few seconds behind you, squeezing your eyes shut at the feeling of him filling you up with his cum. As always, he keeps his dick buried in you for another minute longer, only pulling out when heās reminded of how little time he has.
Sitting up, Heeseung moves a few stray strands of hair out of the way to plant kisses on your face, but you stop him with the excuse of not having brushed your teeth yet before heās able to properly kiss you on the lips.
He scoffs, āYou just came on my face, do you think I care if you have morning breath? Donāt insult me.ā
āAt least let me eat first so I can get this weird taste out of my mouth,ā you counter, reaching over your shoulder to pat Heeseung on the cheek. āCan I do that?ā
Heeseung lets out a loud, dramatic sigh, āIf you insist. Let me clean you up first, though.ā
He stands from the bed, awkwardly pulling his boxers and pajama pants back up before excusing himself to your bathroom. He takes care of himself first before running a rag under the sink faucet and returning to your bedroom.
After cleaning you up with practiced ease, Heeseung discards of the rag in your bathroom hamper and slips back into your bedroom, finally delivering you the breakfast in bed heād been anticipating all week, a wide grin on his face as he sets the wooden tray down on your lap. āAll your favorites: french toast sticks, bacon, scrambled eggs with cheese, and a glass of cranberry juice. Bone apple teeth.ā
You chuckle at his joke, admiring the feast laying in your lap as you grab a strip of bacon, āWhereās your food?ā You ask, noticing there was only enough servings for one person.
Heeseung shakes his head, resting the palm of his hand on your bare knee as he sits across from you, āIāll pick up something on the way to work, didnāt have time to make enough for both of us.ā
With a pout, you take a bite of the bacon strip, āNow I feel bad.ā
Heeseung grins, reaching over to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, āDonāt, consider this part one of your Valentineās gift.ā
Youāve finished the first strip by now, moving onto the second one as you use your free hand to retrieve your phone from the nightstand. āWell, at least let me pay for your breakfast then.ā
He shakes his head at you, reaching for your phone that you manage to pull out of reach. āBabe, you seriously donāt have to.ā
āI want to,ā you respond, halfway through Venmo-ing him fifteen dollars, āthat should be enough.ā
āY/Nā¦ā
āDone! And donāt send it back or else Iāll be really sad, you know gift-giving is my love language.ā
He chuckles, using the fork and knife on the tray table to cut a piece of the french toast stick, āThank you, baby. You spoil me.ā He dips the fork into the container of maple syrup before bringing it up to your parted lips, cupping his hand underneath to prevent the syrup from dripping onto the bed sheets.
You hum, cupping Heeseungās face as you chew, āAnything for my princess. Also, you said this was part one of my gift?ā
Heeseung nods, cutting another square off the french toast, āPart two is still later tonight, once Iām off work.ā
āCan you tell me what it is now, please?ā You plead, clasping your hands together as you jutt out your bottom lip, staring up at him with a pout. For the past week, Heeseung had been teasing about this big Valentineās day surprise he had planned for you, claiming it would be the āsurprise of a lifetimeā.
He hums, feeding you another forkful. āIāll tell you this, when you have the time, youāre gonna have to pack an overnight bag.ā Your eyes light up, waiting patiently before speaking as Heeseung continues, āAnd, youāre gonna have to be dressed up once I pick you up after work. Nothing crazy fancy, just⦠something nice.ā
Heeseung can tell you want to bombard him with more questions, and brings another forkful of food to your lips before you have the chance. āIāll be picking you up around five-forty-five, ām sorry Iāll have to be at the shop most of the day.ā
You shake your head, picking up the glass of cranberry juice, āDonāt be, I hope the event goes well. If you have extras, can you bring me a copy of the book?ā
āFor sure, and Iāll see if I can leave any sooner so we have some extra time together.ā
āYou seriously donāt have to,ā you assure him, taking a sip of your drink, ābesides, I have some errands to run in the meantime.ā
Heeseung raises a brow at you, āOh? Youāre going out today?ā
You nod excitedly, setting the cup on your nightstand, āYeji and I are taking the baby to a Mommy-and-Me yoga class then doing some shopping.ā
Heeseung rolls his eyes at the mention of your sister, setting the fork and knife back onto the tray table. You frown at him, shoulders slouching as you tilt your head, āWhy do you hate my sister so much?ā
āI never said I hated Yeji.ā
āYou didnāt have to, itās pretty obvious. You never wanna talk to her when sheās around and you roll your eyes whenever I mention her.ā
Heeseung shrugs, āSheās just not my cup of tea, is all. Our personalities clash.ā
Of course thereās more to it than clashing personalities, but youāre not quite ready for the full truth just yet, so he decides to leave it at that. āAnyways, how are Jake and Jihan?ā
Your eyes light up at the mention of your future brother-in-law and nephew, āI talked to Yeji yesterday and she said things are good! Jihan is starting to roll over and Jake plans on asking his friend, Sunghoon, to be his best man. Oh, and Yeji says the baby is finally starting to look like Jake.ā
āReally?ā
You nod, āMmhm, Jake is so happy.ā
āGood for him,ā Heeseung mumbles, watching as you take a bite of the eggs. āGonna have to head out now, but I loaded my card onto your Apple Wallet, ākay? Use that while you shop.ā
You blink at him, āWhenād you do that?ā
āLast night, consider it part one-and-a-half of your gift.ā
āYou spoil me.ā
Heeseung grins, āAnything for you.ā
The drive to Bookhaven is quiet, with Keshi playing from the stereo as Heeseung made his way to the shop and parked by the employee entrance.
Stepping right into a pile of snow, he shuts the car door behind him before making his way across the street and stopping by his favorite breakfast cafe, Heavenās Treats. He ordered his usual: two bacon, egg and cheese sandwiches on croissants and two bottles of water; using your fifteen-dollar Venmo gift to pay and tipping the staff with a few dollars cash.
He heads back over to his shop afterwards, unlocking and entering through the employee entrance. Once inside, he unlocks his office door first, setting the bag of food down on his desk before heading into the main area of the shop. Taking a few minutes to wipe down tables and put away loose books, Heeseung hums to himself as he enjoys how quiet and peaceful the shop is. Shin Ryujin was sure to bring in a crowd later today, and he can already tell heād be leaving the shop with a headache.
Once finished, Heeseung retreats back to his office and shuts the door behind him, grabbing the bag of food from the desk before walking over to the closet door. With a sigh, he opens it up, pushing the file cabinet to the side to reveal the door to the hidden basement. His eyes jot down to the keypad under the doorknob, where he quickly types in your anniversary before twisting the knob and pushing the door open.
Staring down at the wooden staircase, Heeseung sighs once again, āLetās get this over with.ā
Carefully, he retreats down the steps and into the basement, looking over into the glass chamber and finding Jongseong, your ex boyfriend, sound asleep on his mattress. Heeseung chuckles once heās made it down the stairs, walking over to the pass-through attached to the glass chamber and opening it, sliding in the breakfast sandwich and bottle of water before shutting it with a loud click!
Heeseung retreats over to his desk and computer monitors that sat opposite of the glass chamber, sitting on his office chair before grabbing and turning on the intercom microphone. āSleeping in?ā
His voice comes out ten times louder in the glass chamberās speaker, jolting Jongseong out of his sleep as he presses the palms of his hands onto his ears. āJesus fuckinā⦠is the intercom necessary?! Youāre right there! I can hear you through the glass!ā
Heeseung shrugs nonchalantly, setting the microphone back on the desk, āYouāre a heavy sleeper.ā Jongseong sighs in response, rubbing his eyes as Heeseung continues, āBrought you breakfast, itās in the pass-through. Eat before it gets cold.ā
āHow do I know you didnāt do something to it? Sick fuck.ā Jongseong spits, arms folded across his chest as he stares at Heeseung through the glass.
āDo something like what?ā
āI donāt know, spike my drink like last time?ā
Heeseung lets out an agitated groan as he slumps in his chair, retrieving his own food from the takeout bag as he responds, āHow many times do I have to tell you I didnāt fucking drug you that night? You actually made everything a lot easier by getting blackout drunk at a fucking nightclub.ā
āYeah, and if I didnāt blackout? Then what?ā
āWho cares? It doesnāt matter, what matters is that youāre away from Y/N.ā
Jongseong shivers at the mention of your name, immediately looking away from Heeseung and focusing his attention on the food in the pass-through.
Around six months ago, youād showed up to Bookhaven hand-in-hand with Jongseong, and Heeseung had been enthralled with you ever since. He spent is every waking moment doing his research on you, which included doing a deep dive on the people closest to you: your immediate family, close friends, and stupid fucking boyfriend.
Heeseung knew the moment he laid eyes on Jongseong that he was no good for you, and was clearly putting up a facade when the two of you were together. Heeseung saw right through it, how quickly heād pull out his phone to snap a text when you were looking, how heād roll his eyes whenever you got too excited about something, how he almost never responded to your PDA ā he was the fucking worst, and you deserved so much better. You deserved Lee Heeseung.
Days leading up to Jongseongās disappearance, Heeseung had been watching him like a hawk; cyber-stalking him as closely as possible without being caught, until, finally, Jongseong decided to go clubbing one night.
Heeseungās original plan was to wait until Jongseong was slightly drunk and knock him out, but Jongseong getting blackout drunk on his own accord made things way easier for Heeseung ā all he had to do was pretend to be a friend to Jongseong and convince everyone else heād be getting him home safely.
Dumbasses, all of them.
Jongseong stands, scratching the back of his neck as he walks over to the pass-through.
āAnyways, itās Valentineās day,ā Heeseung says after biting into his own sandwich, āyou have any plans? Oh wait.ā
Jongseong rolls his eyes again, mumbling āFuck youā under his breath as he retrieves his food and drink. He inspects the sandwich thoroughly before taking a bite, chewing slowly as if trying to taste each and every spice and flavor.
āWait,ā Heeseung speaks, suddenly realizing something, āif you just woke up, that means you missed the show.ā
Jongseong rolls his eyes a third time, already knowing what Heeseung was getting at. āIām sure I didn't miss much.ā
Heeseung swivels around in his office chair to face the three monitors, each one surveilling different areas in your apartment. You were blissfully unaware of the hidden cameras heād set up in your home that have been recording your every move for months on end. Heās doing it for your own safety, really; keeping an eye on you at all times.
Youāre in the kitchen now, loading up the dishwasher with music playing from your phone, stopping every few seconds to belt out the lyrics or make an attempt at doing the choreography. Heeseung enjoys watching you like this, when you truly get to be yourself because you think no one is around.
He grins, switching over to the center monitor and hitting the rewind button until he sees himself entering your bedroom, āThere we go.ā Heeseung monitors himself closely, watching as he sets the tray of food down on your desk before walking over to your mattress.
He moves out of the way so Jongseong has a better view of the screen, a smug expression on his face as he watches the scene unfold in front of him. The monitors were on at all hours, meaning the only entertainment Jongseong had was watching you stroll around your house. Weirdly enough, it pleases him to keep an eye on you like this, making sure youāre still okay after all this time.
He can do without watching you and Heeseung have sex, though.
Jongseong turns his head away the moment Heeseung removes the blanket from your body, groaning in disgust as he takes another bite from his sandwich. āI donāt need to see this.ā
Heeseung shrugs, mumbling, āYour lossā as he speeds up the replay. He prefers to focus on the key moments anyway, like the face you make right before you come on his, or how your entire body tensed when he leaned down to bite on the nape of your neck.
As arousing as it was to play back all those moments, he primarily used it as a personal study guide on what you liked the most, so heād be better at pleasing you going forward. This behavior had started before the two of you even got together, if heās being completely honest. One simple, playful retweet from you about preferring to receive oral rather than give it had him ordering a pocket pussy the very next day to practice on.
The first time the two of you hooked up, Heeseung had spent approximately twenty-four minutes going down on you, only stopping when you expressed concerns about his jaw locking up ā not that he cared.
āWait a second,ā Jongseong pauses, crumbling the empty food wrapper into a ball before tossing it to the floor, āwhat happened to that big breakfast feast you kept talking about, huh? With the, uh, the pancakes and cinnamon rolls?ā
When Heeseung doesnāt respond, Jongseong continues taunting, āWhat, realized you couldnāt do it? That you can do something as simple as prepare a meal? Wow, are youāā
āShut up, dumbass.ā Heeseung interrupts him with a shake of his head, swiveling around in his office chair until heās facing Jongseong, āYou think youāre better than me because you know how to cook? Go on then, cook something. Go to the stove and prove youāre better at me than cooking.ā
Silence falls between the two, with Jongseong glaring daggers at Heeseung as he tightens his fists.
āOh, wait,ā Heeseung continues, tapping his chin, āyou canāt cook; youāre trapped in my basement while I fuck your girlfriend.ā
āWhatever.ā
āOh, now itās whatever, but just a second ago you were so much better than me for knowing how to cook ā you also know how to lie and cheat.ā
āWhatever, Heeseung, just drop it.ā
āHow do you think Y/N would feel if she found out you were cheating on her with her own sister? How old do you think Jihan will be before Jake realizes why they look nothing alike?ā Heeseung questions, tilting his chin at Jongseong, as if expecting a legitimate answer.
The mere thought of Jongseong and your own sister getting together behind your back is enough to make Heeseung gag; he couldnāt fucking believe two of the closest people in your life would deceive you like that. It was beyond disgusting, and he had a strong distaste for Yeji the moment he found out.
Ashamed, Jongseong turn away from Heeseungās gaze. āThatās none of your fucking business.ā
Heeseung rolls his eyes, turning around in his seat until heās facing the monitors, āAnything involving Y/N is my business, fuck-face, including you and anyone else that bothers her.ā
He navigates the surveillance controls until heās back to watching you in real time, the corners of his lips quirking up into a smile when he sees you facetiming someone. He shushes Jongseong, who hadnāt even been speaking, as he turns the volume up in order to hear you better.
āā¦and I think he looks just like you, seriouslyā¦Jake?ā¦I mean, I donāt knowā¦Iām not really seeing the resemblance yetā¦ā
Realizing who you were talking to and what the topic of conversation was, Heeseung clicks his tongue, āThey may even find out sooner than you think.ā
The sound of Yejiās voice through the speaker has him rolling his eyes as he turns down the volume, not that it mattered, considering you disappeared into the bathroom a few moments later.
āHey,ā Jongseong taps on the glass, ālet me ask you something.ā
āNo.ā
āWhy do you have a camera in every room except the bathroom?ā
Itās a genuine question, but it comes out more perverted than Jongseong had intended it to.
As if the answer was obvious, Heeseung raises a brow as he responds, āIām giving her privacy, pervert.ā
warnings : no strings attached, unexpected pregnancy (wrap it before you tap it), jay coded, dominant jay, mentions of being in reader raw.
work count : 5k
summary : Jay, a wealthy and dominant businessman, enjoys the arrangement has has with his sugar babyāyou. The relationship is clear-cut: luxurious gifts, expensive vacations, and a no-strings āattached agreement. But after one drunken night where the two cross a line, everything changes. A few weeks later, you realise youāre pregnant. Now, you must fact the terrifying reality of breaking the news to jay, unsure of how heāll react. Will he abandon the arrangement, or will this unexpected twist lead to something neither of you expected?
a/n : do not in any way plagiarise, translate my work to another language or claim my work as your own
The city lights blurred past as the sleek black car pulled up infront of your apartment. You sighed, kicking off your designer heels as soon as you stepped inside. The night had been long, filled with expensive champagne, laughter, and the familiar weight of jayās possessive hand on your lower back.
Jay was many thingsārich, powerful, and dangerously charming. He was also your sugar daddy, the man who spoiled you with lavish gifts and took care of your every need, as long as you followed the unspoken rules of your arrangement.
No attachments. No emotions. No complications.
But everything had changed three weeks ago.
Your fingers trembled as you clutched the pregnancy test, the two pink lines staring back at you like a cruel joke. You swallowed hard, your mind racing with memories of that drunken nightāhow jayās usually controlled demeanour had slipped, how his hands had roamed your body with more desperation than ever before. How he had whispered your name like it was the only thing keeping him tethered to reality.
And now, here you were, pregnant with his child.
Your stomach churned as you thought about telling him. Jay wasnāt the type of man to deal with unexpected surprises. He liked control. He liked things on his terms.
Would this be the end of your arrangement?
would he turn his back on you?
You took a deep breath and reached for your phone.
It was time to find out.
Your fingers hovered over Jayās contact name, your heart pounding so hard it drowned out all rational thought.
Just do it.
Taking a deep breath, you pressed call.
It rang once. Twice.
Then his smooth, deep voice answered. āDidnāt expect to hear from you this late, sweetheart.ā
You hesitated. How were you supposed to drop this bomb on him?
āJayā¦ā your voice wavered. āCan we talk, itās important.ā
A brief silence. Then, āAre you home?ā
āYes.ā
āIām on my way.ā
The call ended before you could protest. Your stomach twisted as you stared at your reflection in the mirror. You looked pale, anxious. The complete opposite of the poised, glamorous woman jay was used to seeing.
Fifteen minutes later, the familiar purr of his carās engine reached your ears. A knock echoed through the apartment.
When you opened the door, Jay stood there, dressed in his usual tailored suit, hands in his pockets, eyes scanning your face with a mix of concern and curiosity.
āWhatās wrong?ā he asked, stepping inside.
You swallowed hard. āI need to tell you something.ā
Jay exuded authority and confidence, but this was the first time youāve ever felt truly nervous into his presence.
He raised an eyebrow. āYouāre shaking.ā
āI..ā The words caught in your throat. Just say it. Rip off the band-aid. āIām pregnant.ā
Silence.
The air between you turned heavy, suffocating. Jayās expression didnāt change at firstāhis dark eyes locked onto yours, his lips pressing into a thin line as if he hadnāt fully processed your words.
Then, he let out a slow breath. āSay that again.ā
āIām pregnant,ā you whispered.
Jay took a step back, taking a hand through his hair. His usual composure cracked, just for a second. āAnd itās mine.ā It wasnāt a question.
You nodded. āWeā¦that night⦠we werenāt careful.ā
His jaw tensed. āYou shouldāve told me sooner.ā
āI just found out,ā you admitted. āI didnāt know how to tell you.ā
Jay exhaled sharply, pacing for a moment before stopping infront of you. āAnd what do you want to do about this?ā
Your heart clenched. āI donāt know.ā
You had expected anger. Indifference. Maybe even an offer to make this problem go away.
But instead, jay stepped closer, his fingers tilting your chin up. His voice was softer now, more serious. āI take responsibility for whatās mine.ā
Your eyes widened. āYouāre sayingā¦ā
āYouāre carrying my child,ā he muttered, his thumb brushing against your cheek. āWhich means youāre not doing this alone.ā
Jays words lingered in the air, thick with unspoken promises.
āYouāre not doing this alone.ā
You werenāt sure what you had expectedāmaybe cold detachment, maybe a check slid across the table to handle the situationābut not this. Not the firm resolve in his voice, the way his dark eyes held yours like he was already making plans in his head.
Your throat tightened, āwhat does that mean?ā
āIt means,ā jay said slowly, as if the answer was obvious, āthat youāre mine. And now, so is this baby.ā
His possessiveness sent a shiver down your spine. Normally, you enjoyed itāit was part of the reason your arrangement had lasted so long. Jay wasnāt like other men. He didnāt just throw money at you and disappear. He wanted control. Over you. Over everything.
But this was different. This was real.
You took a shaky breath. āJay, this isnāt just some business deal. This is a baby. A whole human being. You donāt just get to decideāā
āI do.ā His voice was firm, unwavering. āYou think Iād just walk away?ā
āI donāt know,ā you admitted. āWe never talked about this. We never even thought this would happen.ā
Jayās gaze darkened. āThatās my fault. I was careless.ā He ran a hand down his face, something almost frustrated in his expression. āI shouldāve been more careful. But now thatās itās happened, I wonāt run from it.ā
A lump formed in your throat. āSo⦠what do we do?ā
Jay was quiet for a long moment, his fingers tapping against his thigh as the thought. When he finally spoke, his voice was calm. Decisive.
āYouāre moving in with me.ā
You blinked. āWhat?ā
āYou heard me.ā Jay crossed his arms, his gaze locked onto yours. āYouāre not staying here alone. I want you where I can take care of you.ā
Your head spun. āJay, thatāsāā
āItās not up for debate.ā His tone left no room for argument. āI wonāt have you stressing over this by yourself. Youāll be taken care of. Anything you need, Iāll provide.ā
You hesitated. Living with jay? That wasnāt just changing your arrangementāit was crossing a line neither of you had dared to approach before.
āJayā¦ā you searched his face. āWhy are you doing all of this?ā
His jaw clenched. āBecause itās mine.ā His hand slid down to your stomach, his touch gentle, almost reverent. āAnd so are you.ā
Your heart pounded against your ribs. āThis isnāt what we agreed to.ā
Jay tilted his head. āThings change.ā
His fingers curled around your waist, pulling you closer. The air between you cracked with something unfamiliar. This wasnāt just sugar daddy jay speaking. This was something more. Something deeper.
And it scared you.
Because if jay was seriousā¦
Then you were in deeper than you ever intended to be.
He had already decided. In his world, once Jay made up his mind, there was no room for argument. That was how he operated in business, and now--apparently--in your life.
Your throat felt dry. "Jay, I can't just pack up and leave--"
"Yes, you can." He stepped closer, towering over you, his scent wrapping around you like a drug. "You're carrying my child. You think I'd let you stay here alone, stressing over this?"
You swallowed. "This wasn't part of our arrangement."
Jay's lips curled into a smirk, but his eyes held something softer, something unreadable. "We passed arrangements the moment you let me have you raw."
Your face burnt a bright red. "That was--"
"A mistake?" He raised an eyebrow. "You sure about that?"
You opened your mouth, but now words came out. Was it? A mistake? It had been reckless, unplanned, but the memory of that night was still burned into your skin--the way jay had touched you like he was unravelling, the way his lips had traced every inch of you, the way he needed you.
And now...this.
A baby.
Your fingers curled into your palms. "Jay... I'm scared."
Something in his face softened. He exhaled, reaching for your hand. "I know." His grip was warm, steady. "That's why you're coming with me. You don't have to do this alone."
You searched his face, looking for cracks in his confidence. Some sign that he was panicking as much as you were. But there was none. Jay had already decided, and if there was one thing about him-- you knew he never backed down from what he claimed as his.
Still, you hesitated. "What if this changed everything?"
Jay's thumb brushed over your knuckles. "It already has."
Your breath hitched. He was right. There was no going back to what you had before.
And maybe... maybe that wasn't such a bad thing.
A long silence stretched between you. Then, finally, you whispered, "Okay."
Jay's smirk returned, but this time, there was something dangerous behind it. Satisfaction. Possession. Like he had just won.
"Good girl."
His words sent a shiver down your spine.
You had no idea what you'd just agreed to. But with jay, there was no turning back.
Soft kisses turned into deep kisses. If Heeseung thought you were horny, he was even hornier.
PAIRINGS - soft dom!heeseung x fem!reader
GENRE - smut
WARNINGS - smut (mdni), p in v, pwop, protected raw sex, breeding kink, creampie, fingering, oral sex (fem receiving), horny ass mfs, pet names, Imk if i missed anything!
WC - 2k
A/N ā yall know what it is⦠another scene from my wattpad series "My Secret Lover.ā also⦠happy 200 followers, yay!!! lowkey poured 3/4 of my heart into this soā¦
"Heeseung," you muttered. "Hm?" He hums, still pressing light butterfly kisses on your neck. You let out a small whine, tugging on the back of his hair gently. "What is it that you want, love? Hm?" He's clearly teasing you, forcing you to tell him with words.
"Want you," you admit, barely a whisper but loud enough for him to hear. "Do you now?" you nodded, pleading. "Yes, please."
You watched as he pulled his t-shirt over his head in awe, admiring his upper body.
He raises his eyebrow, looking down at you. "Are you going to watch me or get undressed too?" You nodded shyly and started to undress yourself as he undressed his lower half.
You watched him with hooded eyes as he jerked his length against your bareness. He was doing this as if he was teasing you.
"Seung-ah," you called his name out in a whine. "Yes, love?" He answers you with a sly smile. He knew what he was doing. He knew it made you lose my patience.
He held his length against your core and slowly grinded the tip of his dick up and down your wet slit. Your eyes closed tight, squirming under him. "P-Please," you begged for more.
"Hm," He hums softly, still slowly grinding against you, spreading more slick. The head of his cock occasionally bumps your clit with every drag. "I think you need some prepping first, don't you think, darling?" He says, retracting from you.
You whine at the sudden loss of friction. "Shh, shh. I got you, baby. You'll get me soon," he says, spreading your thighs apart with the palm of his hand.
Slowly, he collects your wetness with his middle finger up and down before slipping the finger inside. The sudden intrusion made you gasp. Your hands immediately gripped his sheets under you.
He moved his finger in and out a few times before slipping a second finger in. You let out a shaky breath, followed by a soft moan as you felt the pad of his fingers massaging the inside of your walls.
The sopping wet sound echoed in the four-walled room as his fingers thrust in and out of your pussy every time. Your cheeks flushed pink feeling embarrassed, but it was slowly forgotten when the pleasure took over.
"You're so wet, baby. Who's all of this for? Hm?" He coos. "Y-You, for you," you gasped, arching your back at the feeling.
He pulled his fingers away and before you could complain, the warmness of his tongue came in contact with your pussy.
You gasped. Your hands that were once gripping the best sheets shot up to hold a grip on his hair. "F-Fuck, Heeseung." He hums against your core, flicking his tongue up and down your slit, lapping up your wetness.
You tightened your grip on his hair, causing him to groan against you. His arms were wrapped around your thighs, speeding up each lick. The sharp point of his nose continuously stimulated your clit. "T-Too much."
Heeseung pulls away with a string of salvia connected from your wetness to his lips. He used the back of his hand to wipe his lips before hovering over you again.
He leans in to kiss you again as his arms roam around your body. He pulls away briefly, still centimeters away from you. "Heeseung," you whisper. "Yes, darling?"
"I want you."
Heeseung looks at you with soft eyes before chuckling softly. His fingers tucked a few loose strands behind your ear. "You know I'm not doing this to get you back right? I genuinely want to be with you." You nodded, smiling softly at the boy.
"Only if you say yes, my love."
"Yes. Please, Heeseung."
He positioned himself in missionary position. He looked at you with worry. "Condom. Fuck, I left it in my car." "I'm on a pill today, it's okay," you assured him.
With no hesitation, he slowly pushed himself in. You squeezed your eyes shut, feeling the tip of his cock brush past your cervix. He groans once he's bottomed out completely.
"Fuck, so tight," he says with a shaky breath. You let out a mewl, feeling the veins of his cock with every drag. Your hands went to clutch his sheets, unable to take the pleasure.
He had wrapped his hands under your thighs, pulling you closer to his pelvis. Surely, marks will be left on your thighs, but that was the least of your worries right now.
His length got coated with your slick after every thrust. His pace gradually sped up, easily slipping in and out of you due to your wet arousal.
Your back arched at the immense feeling, your head throwing back into his pillow. "G-God, you're s-so good," you breathed out past your parted lips.
"Yeah? Does it feel good?"
"Yes, fuck yes it feels so good," you blabbered out, trying to surpass the moans that wanted to slip out.
His sweaty bangs covered his forehead, sweat threatening to drip. His eyebrows were furrowed as his parted lips let out stuttered moans.
Your own eyebrows furrowed not only at the pleasure but at how goddamn hot Heeseung looked right now.
"Fuckkk," you whined, trying to open your eyes again. You noticed how he would let out a small pant after his cock would slam into you.
"Shit, you're fucking dripping, darling," he chuckles softly, gently squeezing your thighs. "Rub yourself for me, baby."
You obeyed his order and slowly rubbed your clit. "Oh, f-fuck." Your eyes shot open, surprised at the new sensation. His cock head managed to hit your g-spot so well. You cried his name out in pleasure.
"You're not going to cum yet, are you, love? Hm?" he asks me, still lunging his cock in me. You quickly shook your head. "N-No."
"Good because I'm not done with you."
He releases his grip from your thighs and balances himself on your sides, chest to chest. Your arms moved to hold a grip on his back.
You felt his breath against the side of your neck with every thrust. The room was filled with your skin slapping and constant moans. You hated how quiet Heeseung kept himself.
"I wanna hear you too," you whispered in his ear. Heeseung let his bottom lip go from his bite and let out a sultry moan.
He then bent your right leg and pressed it up to your chest. His hips kept moving and never faltered. He would let out groans when he felt your nails digging into his back.
"My pretty perfect girl," Heeseung pants in the crook of your neck, snapping his hips against yours. You felt your eyes roll to the back of your head, feeling him hit every right spot. "Fuck, H-Heeseung, please, please, please," you cried.
"Are you close, baby? Do you want to cum?" He asked, almost teasing you. You answered him, nodding your head repeatedly. His hips somehow moved faster, fucking you faster to your climax.
Your body felt weak. You just laid there, letting him use you as a fuck toy.
"C-Cumming, Fuck, I-I'm cumming! H-Heeseung!" You cried out. Your high-pitched moans filled the room as you hit your climax.
Heeseung left soft kisses on your face as you calmed down from your high. "You didn't get to finish yet," you said in a soft tone. Heeseung smiled and stroked your head. "Think you can take more of me?" He asks in a teasing tone.
You simply nodded. You purposely clenched your walls around his hard cock in you, forcing a groan out of him.
He pulled out of you, causing you to let out a small whine at the loss of friction.
"Turn around for me."
You turned your body around and stuck your ass up. He positions his cock at your hole and massages your ass.
"Push it back on me, baby," he ordered you softly. You use your knees to push yourself back on him. Pushing his dick in yourself felt different, but good.
You whined into his pillow, breathing heavily at the stretch. You lifted your head up and turned your neck back, waiting for your next order.
"Come on. Fuck yourself on me. Make me cum."
The insides of your stomach turned at his lewd words. You start using your knees, fucking yourself back on his dick. His hands that were on your ass guided you with each thrust.
"F-Fucking shit, you're so good, baby," Heeseung sighs. From how weak his voice sounded, you already knew how he looked. His eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed. His teeth biting down on his lip to hold back his moans, wanting to assert his dominance.
You whimpered back in response, feeling every inch of his length move in and out of you. Your legs started to feel weak. You turned your head back, admiring the state Heeseung was in.
"Please fuck me," you begged him. "Tired already?" You nodded, biting the bottom of your lip, feeling him thrust into you slowly.
You dropped your head down and buried your face in his pillow. My loud moans and cries were muffled, allowing you to hear his groans and moans better.
"God, you're so wet. All for me, baby?" he asked you, panting. You nodded your head. "Y-Yes. All for y-you, Hee." "Fuckkk," Heeseung moans, gripping your waist tighter, slamming his hips against your ass.
"Shit! Just like t-that, fuck!" You sobbed out in pleasure. "Just like that?" he asks you, hitting that spot repeatedly. "Fuck! Y-Yes, yes," you moaned, sloppily moving your hips back on him.
As you got near your second climax, your walls clenched around him more frequently. His balls slapped against your ass after every hard thrust.
"You like me deep inside you like this, don't you? God, you're so fucking p-perfect. You're all mine, f-fuck," Heeseung babbles out as he moves his hips at a fast pace. You lay there, only being able to let out moans.
The more he talked, the closer it brought you to your climax. You managed to turn your head back again, wanting to see him.
"I-I'm close, baby. J-Just a little more, please," he moans out with closed eyes and clenched jaw. "You're gonna let me cum in you, right? Won't you, my pretty princess?" His pace never slowed down as he rambled out dirty words.
You didn't have the energy to respond. You only clenched around his thick length and moaned. "You'd like that, won't you, baby?" His hips started to stutter as he got close to his release.
"F-Fuck, you would like thatā me filling you with my cum," he answered for you. His words rather seemed to be guiding him closer to his climax.
"Please c-cum in me, H-Heeseung," you managed to speak past your stuttered moans. His hips moved faster and harder. The wet noise, moans, and slapping intensified.
"Oh godā fuck, Heeseung," you moan with a sigh, gripping the sheets tightly. His breath got shorter and shorter, his thrusts becoming sloppy.
"Turn around. I need to see your face when you cum for me."
You did as he said and he took no time to plunge himself back into you. "Fuck, your tight pussy is gonna make cum, baby," he moaned, throwing his head back as he thrusts into you.
"Please cum inside of me," you cried out, desperate for his cum. "Keep talking to me like t-that," Heeseung groans, his grip on your hips tightening.
"Want your cum so bad," you whimpered. You chewed on my bottom lip, holding back your moans, wanting to hear him when he cums. You watched as his eyebrows knit together again, his teeth biting down harshly on his bottom lip when the pleasure felt too good.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, I'm cumming. Fucking cumming in this tight pussy," his stuttered moans blended together with your high-pitched moans. "Cum with me, baby."
You felt him twitch in me before his warm cum painted your walls as you released with him. He pulls out and watches his cum flow out of you in awe.
You both panted heavily from the rough workout. Heeseung dropped his body beside you and pulled you close to him.
"Thank you," he whispered, rubbing the sides of your waist. "For what?" "For being a good girl for me," he giggles, rubbing the tip of his nose against the crook of your neck.
ex!jongseong x fem!reader
warnings: angst, smut(mdni), unprotected sex, cream pie, fingering, begging, hurt w comfort, petnames (baby, princess), mentions of intoxication, alcohol, heavy conversation around wanting children, badly written, reupload, anything else lmk!
w.c: 9.7k
synopsis: you never thought you would hear the name park jongseong again until you get a call from one of his friends begging for your help
a/n: hi! this is a reupload!! so if you think you've read it, that's because you have <3 i didn't edit this one and i think you will be able to tell since my writing is a little sloppy compared to now but i love this fic a lot. i was actually planning a new one today (sub jake) but i fear that one isn't finished yet! so please enjoy. as always, comments, feedback and reblogs are all welcome! love u <33
A sharp, jarring noise pierces your ears, the peaceful sleep you were in rudely disrupted. You groan out loud, covering your face with your covers but it does nothing to stop the ringing from your phone, it doesnāt even dull it a little, the little black device only echoing around the room louder.
Disoriented and groggy, you fumble for your phone on the bedside table, clumsily searching for it in the darkness. It isnāt your alarm, the usual peaceful tones of the birds chirping would be a welcomed sound, one that eases you into the day; no this was a phone call.
Finally grasping your phone, your eyes fight themselves open as you blink away any remnants of sleep, trying to find any sort of centre from your dizzy awakening. You look at the name on your phone but your vision is so blurred you canāt make it out but answer it anyway, knowing that whoever is phoning at this ungodly hour is clearly in need of your help.
āHello?ā you ask quietly, as if you donāt want to disturb the quiet of the night, unlike the person on the other end of the call.
āUh, Y/N? Itās Jake.ā His soft Australian accent drifts from your phone speaker into your ears. He sounds unsure whether he is supposed to be making the call, which to be fair, you understand because you havenāt heard from him in months, not afterā¦
Letting out a sigh, you rub your forehead with the base of your palm tiredly, āJake, why the fuck are you calling me atā¦ā you pull the phone away, inspecting the time now that youāre more alert, ā3.36am?ā you ask with a hint of disdain. Normally, you would welcome the boyās surprise call, after all, you did miss him. But considering he woke you up from a good dream involving you, Jeongin from Stray Kids, and a happily ever after; he wasnāt exactly your favourite person right now.
You can faintly hear some music in the background as he stays silent and you swear to yourself if this is to give him a ride home from a concert turned party, youāll have his head.
āListen, I hate to ask you this but can you come to Haven?ā
āThe nightclub? Why?ā Your earlier suspicions are proving to be right, he does want a lift home. That would be an acceptable request if you guys were actively talking every day and the best of buddies but he isnāt even your friend, not really.Ā
You can hear him shuffling around on the other end of the line, his voice can be heard trying to calm someone down but his words are obscured as if the phone is wrested away from his mouth, leaving only disjointed fragments of speech drifting through the receiver.Ā
This sounds like more than just a simple ride home and it causes you to snap to attention, your senses heightened with concern.Ā
Jake finally brings his attention back to you, letting out a sigh of discontentment, āItās Jay, heās a mess and heās calling out for you.ā
Jay. Park Jongseong.
Itās been so long since anyone has dared to mention his name to you that it almost sounds like a foreign word.
Seven months ago, you and Jongseong had decided to call off your six-year relationship, both of you reaching the understanding that it was for the best considering your battling differences and needs within the relationship.
It wasnāt easy, the furthest thing from it actually. You and him had been inseparable since high school and once you both got together in year 12, it was always you and him against the world. He was the love of your life, that once-in-a-lifetime kind of love that only happens in fairytales. Your souls were both painted from the same brush stroke.
But he wanted a peaceful, routine life - a classic white picket fence dream. Evenings would be spent with friends, savouring white wine and casual conversations over dinner. His heart was set on imagining the echoes of your future children's laughter filling your home, family trips to the seaside, and comforting them with kisses and band-aids when they got hurt.
And you craved spontaneity, to embrace life with vigour, travelling the world together was your dream, free from the responsibilities of parenting, cherishing moments just for yourselves. You longed for random midnight trips to Tesco for birthday cake simply because you could. All you wished for was to be with him, just the two of you.
Suddenly, your brain clicks into an important detail and you hurriedly check the calendar on your phone and the date makes you slump in your bed.
Today is Jongseongās birthday, well technically not anymore given the time, but that means he has lived his first birthday without you by his side in so long. You would always celebrate his big day by doing something from his handwritten bucket list he has had since he was a child. Over the years he has added more to the list, each birthday scoring one out to add another.
The list wasn't extravagant; it was filled with simple yet heartfelt desires. You bought him a bundle of guitar lessons and a Taylor 114e electric guitar to fulfil his wish of learning to play. When you noticed the Download Festival marked with gold stars on his list, you surprised him with tickets for the year Metallica was headlining. And when he expressed a desire to cook a meal from scratch for his mum, you gifted him a kitchen knife engraved with his name and took the time to teach him how to prepare her favourite dish.
His birthdays were the most precious when you were in them, and you werenāt there with him.
āY/N?ā Jakeās sweet voice draws you back to his attention and out of the memory lane swirl your brain has put you in. He knows this is a tough call for you to take considering you and Jongseong said to cut ties completely; itās better to act like you both didnāt exist than keep a thread tethered to one another that would only hurt you more.
As Jake and Sunghoon whisked Jay away for his birthday celebration, their intention was simple: to help him let loose and have a good time. Jay had been buried in overtime work lately, leaving little room for socialising. Since the breakup, the idea of going out without you - dancing together, stealing kisses in the taxi ride home - seemed unappealing.
Waking up that morning, Jay realised it marked the first birthday in six years without ticking something off his bucket list. The familiar, worn paper lay dormant on his desk, a stark reminder of your absence. He had no desire to celebrate today without you by his side. If he could fast-forward through the day to escape the weight of his birthday, he would eagerly do so.
Yet, with two very persuading friends and a whole lot of whiskey later, here he was, curled up outside Haven, yearning out for you.
āY/N please, at least come and convince him to get up and come home with us,ā Jake pleads. You can hear the cries of your ex-lover more clearly now as Jake kneels beside his friend, checking in on him.
With a resigned sigh, you nod, āOkay. Keep him warm, Iāll be there in 20 minutes.ā
Hanging up the phone, you quickly put a brush through your hair and change into a baggy top, one you bought for Jongseong before breaking up, and a pair of grey sweatpants. This is a bad idea, you know it is, but you also canāt leave him to wallow in the middle of the street. You donāt think you could live with yourself if you didnāt help and Jake wouldnāt call unless it was something he couldnāt handle.Ā
You donāt want to see the state Jongseong is in, his wailing cries that you could slightly hear over the phone already made your heart clench in hurt.
As you drive to Haven, your heart races in anticipation with each mile that passes. Is your heart ready to face him after all these months? Staring into the love of your lifeās eyes once again might break you even more. Youāve done a good job in keeping yourself together, at putting on a facade that everything is okay, when deep down you know that if one person asked you about Jongseong you would crumble and fall apart.Ā
He wasnāt the only one throwing himself into work to forget. Youāve worked hours and hours trying to keep your mind off the heartbreak, you thought that if you just focused and kept your head down, the phrase time heals all wounds would kick in and youād be free of the torment of losing your first love. But it hasnāt worked out that way, you know that now as you speed down the empty roads to console the one person you are trying to forget.
As you reach Haven, you can vaguely see three boys under the illuminating sign, almost as if shining a spotlight on them to add to the spectacle that Jongseong is making. Onlookers are watching as your ex-boyfriend cries on the pavement, wishing you would come home.
With a quick exhale, you step out of the car before doubts can creep in, determined to be there for him. Jake and Sunghoon's voices float to you, attempting to soothe him and inject some sense into the moment. Bracing yourself, you approach, ready to offer whatever comfort you can, despite the storm of emotions swirling within you.
Sinking onto the balls of your feet, you lower yourself to Jongseong's level, meeting his strained figure. Instantly, the sight of his distress instantly shatters your heart into a million pieces.
An abundance of tears cascades down Jongseong's reddened face, obscuring his features like a relentless waterfall. His clenched jaw and the prominent vein on his forehead portray the intensity of his distress as he struggles to draw each laboured breath. Curled into himself, his body seems to contort with the weight of physical agony, mirroring the emotional pain that ripples through his trembling form. Heās been keeping this in for so long that his body doesnāt know how to cope with it.
Reaching out to grab his clenched fist, you shuffle forward carefully, āJjongie?ā you say calmly, trying to pull him out of his dispaired state and avoid startling him. āItās me, baby, look at me,āĀ
Jongseong's body tenses at your voice and he slowly lifts his head, his eyes bloodshot and filled with an overwhelming mixture of sorrow and longing. For a moment, there's a flicker of recognition in his eyes before they cloud over again with anguish.
He doesnāt believe youāre actually here, considering the long nights where he has conjured up the idea of you, clinging to his imagination on the lonely nights he wishes for your touch. But as you squeeze his hand, he realises this isnāt a dream-induced sighting, youāre really here in front of him.
"Y/N..." he murmurs, his voice choked with emotion. Tears stream down his face in torrents, some landing on your hand that holds his. His cries reverberate through the air, each wail a sharp stab to your chest.
Cupping his cheek, you settle yourself between his legs, ignoring the stinging discomfort of the rocks beneath your knees, your focus solely on him. With a sad smile, you attempt to mask your own hurt, your touch a gentle reassurance amidst his storm of emotions.
"Hey, hey, enough of that now," you hush him softly, your voice a soothing melody in the tumultuous night. Using the pad of your thumb, you tenderly wipe away his tears, though they continue to flow unabated.
Jongseong leans into your touch, āI miss you so much, Y/N, please. Please,ā he pleads as you feel his warm breath against your skin. He desperately nuzzles into your palm, seeking solace in the familiar sensation of your touch, the very thing he has been yearning for.
Itās hurting you just seeing him like this, the man you once knew to be strong-willed and resilient, keeping his emotions under control unless heās sharing sweet vulnerable moments with you under the covers, is now a shell of himself, stripped bare by the weight of grief.
Turning to look at Jake, you offer him a small smile, āIāll take him home.ā
āYou sure?ā Jake asks with a raised brow, knowing that itās a dangerous game for you both if you do.
āYeah, I donāt think heās going to move unless I do,ā you chuckle sympathetically but thereās a bubble in your throat as Jongseongās whimpers flow into your ear from beside you, pathetic and distressed.
Nodding, Jake gestures to Sunghoon, silently enlisting his help in the task of ferrying the drunk man to your car. The weight of Jongseong's limp form proves difficult as you all struggle to navigate his dead weight, his limbs hanging heavily without offering any assistance.
"Let's get you home," you murmur softly, your hands pressing gently against Jongseong's chest to steady him, aided by his friends who lift him onto their shoulders.
His eyes lock onto yours, an intensity burning within them. "Please be real," he whispers, his voice trembling with desperation. Despite feeling your touch and catching hints of your scent, doubt gnaws at him. If this is merely a figment of his imagination, he knows he'll never forgive himself. You're so close, so tangible - it has to be you.
With much struggle, the three of you get him to your car, putting him gently in the backseat so he can lie down, but he wraps his arms around your waist as his legs stay situated outside of the vehicle, holding you close to him.
"Come on, Jjongie, lie down for a minute," you coax gently, guiding him to stretch out along the seats. But he remains unmoving, clutching onto you as if fearing you'll slip away if he lets go. With a soft sigh, you stroke the back of his head, your hands moving in a soothing rhythm. "I promise, I am not going anywhere," you whisper, your words a tender vow to him.
Yet, your attempts to reassure him seem to go unheard. His face burrows deeper into your stomach, his words muffled by the fabric of your t-shirt and the weight of his tears.
You exchange a worried glance with Jake and Sunghoon, āHow much did he have to drink?ā you ask, scared of the answer they will give. Your ex-boyfriend has always been so good at holding his liquor that it must have been a hefty amount if heās this bad..
āLikeā¦two weeks' wage worth,ā Sunghoon winces as he says it, his neck tightening as he looks at his best friend. It was hard to watch him, pound spirit after spirit, and be helpless in telling him to stop. Heās not exaggerating either, he must have spent at least Ā£600 in there. Each round was a triple, accompanied by a few shots to wash the Jack and Coke down.
"Oh, baby," you sigh softly, returning your attention to Jongseong. You press a tender kiss to the crown of his head, hoping to offer some comfort amidst his distress. In some way, the scent of his shampoo also gives you some ease within the chaos. His response to your affection is to cling to you even tighter, his sobs echoing against your chest as he seeks solace in your embrace. Thereās a crushing wave of empathy that you feel wash over you right at this moment. It hurts, seeing him like this and hearing of his struggles - ex or not - you care about him, and you also understand his pain.
You need to get him home. Heās a fucking mess and the longer he stays like this, the more itās going to wear all four of you out. So, with a gentle hand, you pull him back and lift his jaw up to look at you. It was probably the worst decision you could have ever made. He looksā¦broken.
"I've got you, Jjongie," you whisper softly, squeezing his chin as almost a gentle pinch, to prove youāre not letting him go. This instantly relaxes Jongseong, though, his hands still grip onto you for dear life. His friends go to help you, break him away and buckle him in the backseat, but you halt them with a firm gesture, "You guys can go, I've got it from here."
Sunghoon shakes his head, heavy concern etched on his face. "No way. He's too heavy, Y/N. You won't be able to manage him into the apartment without us.ā
But you stand your ground. This is your and Jongseong's mess, and you canāt let others help you clean it up. "It's okay. You guys have done your shift for tonight. Go home," you insist, your voice resolute and brooking no argument.
Reluctantly, Sunghoon and Jake nod, still teetering on the edge of arguing with you. But, they know better and bid you goodnight before going their separate ways home, leaving you alone with Jongseong and the weight of your shared history.
Taking a deep breath, you hoist him in, his body listening to you a little more now that youāve reassured him you arenāt leaving him. He sprawls over the backseats and lays still, the alcohol consuming him into some form of comatose. Youāve been in this state before too, so you can recognise the blackout glaze that heās trying to fight away as he keeps his eyes on you. Heās so scared youāll just vanish into thin air. āIām right here. Go to sleep.ā
Surprisingly, he listens to your reassurance, closing his eyes and drifting off, allowing you to slide into the driver's seat. You turn the keys as the engine begins humming to life beneath you. Glancing at Jongseong's slumbering form in the rearview mirror, you steel yourself for the journey ahead.
_____
Arriving at his house fills you with a nervous energy that tightens in your chest. This wasnāt just his flatāit used to be your shared home. For two and a half years, this place held countless, irreplaceable memories, moments you thought youād cherish forever.
You were the one who left, finding a new place closer to work and convincing yourself it was the practical choice. But deep down, you knew the real reason: you couldnāt bear the constant reminders of him that lingered in every room, every piece of furniture, every shadow of your life together.
Looking back now, it feels selfish. You left him here, surrounded by the remnants of your relationship, without considering how he might feel. While you escaped to a fresh start, he was left to live among the echoes of what you once had.
Lugging him into the flat, his legs are working in tandem with you now unlike before but he still isnāt proving to be the easiest person to carry. The last time you had to hold his weight like this was when he got drunk at your prom after taking sneaky shots in the hotel garden with his friends. It was funny, but you blame him for some of your back pain that youāve endured in your early twenties.
As you push open the door and step into the living room, a wave of nostalgia washes over you like a tsunami. Though only seven months have passed, it feels like a lifetime since you last stood in this space with him by your side. Everything remains unchanged, frozen in time since the day you left.Ā
The same couch sits in its familiar spot, adorned with throw pillows and blankets you bought for last season. Photographs of you both, captured during Christmases and holidays, adorn the walls, each one a snapshot of happier times when life seemed so simple and easy. Even the vase that his mum had gotten you both for your housewarming gift, one that you loved and he hated, remains in its pride of place on the mantlepiece.
You shake the thoughts away and guide Jongseong toward the bedroom. Each step feels heavy, as youāre encompassed with memories that surround you. Heās been living in a time capsule, and while youāre struggling to look at it all now, you wonder how he has managed to endure it for all these months.
His arm is slung over your shoulder as his weight presses down on you, however, itās the feeling of his nose brushing against your hair that nearly stops you in your tracks. He breathes in deeply, and for a brief moment, it feels like heās trying to ground himself in the familiarity of you.
You help Jongseong onto the bed, propping him up carefully. āIām going to grab you some clean boxers, okay?ā you say softly. He doesnāt respond, lost in his own haze, so you move toward the drawers on the other side of the room.
Walking over, you spot a familiar t-shirt lying crumpled on your old side of the bed. You make a b-line to investigate it and as you pick up the crumpled t-shirt, a flood of memories washes over you, transporting you back to simpler times. Your fingers trace the familiar fabric, still faintly carrying the scent of you, now mingled with his cologne. You piece it all together pretty quickly, the way it still smells faintly of you but is not starting to be overpowered by his cologne. He hugs it at night to find peace of mind.
āOh, Jjongie,ā you sigh, heart reaching out to him. Youāre no better, you have one of his hoodies that you snuck into your luggage as you packed and wear it when youāre at home. Just like your t-shirt, his hoodie is starting to lose its scent from the amount of times youāve hugged yourself to sleep in it.
Youāre no better, though. You think of the hoodie you tucked into your suitcase before you left, the one youāve worn so many times on nights when the loneliness felt unbearable. Its scent is fading too, just like this shirt, but you still cling to it, just as he clings to this. Both of you, in your own quiet ways, are holding onto the fragments of a love neither of you has been able to let go of.
Jongseong has always been reserved, his emotions carefully guarded behind a facade of reason and rationale. To see him like this, vulnerable and raw, strikes a chord deep within you. If he had always worn his heart on his sleeve, perhaps it would be easier to understand. But the complexity of his emotions only serves to deepen the ache in your chest.
You place the t-shirt back on the pillow before opening the dresser drawer and retrieve a clean pair of boxers, his favourite ones with the faded Hello Kitty print that you've always teased him about.
Gently, you begin to undress him while he rambles incoherent nonsense that you canāt understand between the mix of tears and drunk slurring. The top half is easy but the bottom half proves difficult as he only looks up at you, whispering pleas as he stares at you, keeping his bum firmly sat on the edge of the bed.
As you finally manage to remove Jongseong's jeans and boxers, leaving him naked, a new layer of vulnerability settles over the room. He sits before you bathed in the soft glow of the hallway light, his silhouette outlined in the darkness.
"Stay with me," he whispers, his voice a gentle plea as his hands begin to roam your sides, tracing the contours of your body beneath your shirt. Each touch ignites a flurry of sensations within you, sending butterflies fluttering in your stomach.
His beauty, illuminated by the faint light, is both captivating and heartbreaking. The familiarity of his form, once etched in your memory, now lays before you in the flesh, a tangible reminder of the love you still harbour for him. How could you not still love him? He was perfect in every way possible.
He pulls you onto his lap, your sweatpants becoming the barrier between his cock and your pussy. Yet, none of you are really thinking about that right now, all you both want is to hold one another again.
āJongseong, we broke up, and for good reason,ā you rationalise with not only him but yourself as you find yourself sinking into his touch as his hands roam your back.
Nuzzling his nose against yours, he begins to cry softly again, his face rubbing itself against yours as his tears transfer from his cheeks to yours, āPlease, baby, donāt leave me,ā heĀ
mumbles as his lips ghost over yours.Ā
He doesnāt just mean tonight, he means forever. A tear from your eye cascades down your face, getting lost in the mixture of his, your empathy for him overwhelming you because you feel the same way he does. You need him in every way, you need to be close to him, to feel his heart beating in synch with yours once again.
But you know better than this. Youāre both just prolonging heartache if you succumb to being with him again. You canāt give each other what you need.
āBaby, donāt do this,ā you beg him, knowing that he has the power to pull you back into his life with the click of his fingers, that resolve you have worked so hard to build up now hangs in the balance, āLet me get you changed and then into bed, yeah?ā
Reasoning with him is a lost cause, his arms now hugging you tightly like before as he ignores your suggestion. The last thing he wants is to put on those boxers because he knows when he does that youāll leave.Ā
"Please, baby," his voice is raw with emotion, his desperation palpable in the air between you. And as you look into his eyes, you see the depth of his longing mirrored in your own.Ā
His plea hangs in the air, a heavy weight pressing down on your already burdened heart. You feel torn between the overwhelming desire to give in to his request and the harsh reality of the situation.
With a deep breath, you summon the strength to gently extricate yourself from his embrace, feeling the weight of his disappointment lingering in the air. His hurt expression tugs at your heartstrings, but you shake your head firmly, "Just tonight, okay?" you assure him, your voice soft but resolute.
Curse you and your heart that caves into his pleas so easily.
You disregard getting him dressed and instead, remove your sweatpants and replace them with those very boxers you planned to adorn him with and swap out your t-shirt for the one on your old pillow. Jongseong clumsily climbs into his covers, getting comfortable and finding some happiness in the fact that youāll be in his arms at least for a little while.Ā
Once you climb into your side of the bed, he instinctively hugs you from behind, the comfort of your body pressed against his. He spoons you from behind, tucking his face in your neck as he exhales in contentment. This is all he has been craving since that night you left and he couldnāt be happier. All the turmoil and anguish from earlier slowly depletes as he finds himself sinking into a much-needed sleep.
You canāt deny you feel the same, his arms wrapped around you feel like home, like youāve been on a seven-month business trip and youāre now finally back where you belong. You sink into him further, relishing his skin against yours.
āHappy birthday, Jjongie,ā you whisper, bringing his hand up to kiss it before intertwining your fingers with his.
_____
Waking up, Jongseong feels like his whole body has crashed into a brick wall. His bones ache and his head feels tight, but there is a weight that feels so familiar yet foreign, his legs tangled around something and his arms holding it close. This feels different from the t-shirt of yours he clings to every night, this has more substance.
Please donāt be some random girl he thinks to himself, scared to open his eyes.Ā
Even if he wanted to open his eyes, he couldnāt - they were sealed shut, held together by something stubborn. Had he been crying last night? Wait, what did happen last night?
Fragments of the evening begin to resurface as he sifts through the haze: Jake and Sunghoon dragging him to Haven, the chaotic vibe of the bar, and the questionable decision to ride the mechanical bull. After that? A blank.
As he struggles to piece it all together, you watch him futilely attempt to pry his eyes open. Deciding to help, you gently swipe your thumb across his lids, clearing away the dried remnants of tears and sleep. His body tenses at your touch, his expression clouded with confusion.
Was he hallucinating? The sensation felt so real - too real. Or maybe the girl he brought home last night had a touch uncannily like yours. God, he hoped it was the first one.
Opening his eyes with your help, he blinks away the blur and sets his eyes on your face, his expression reading one of relief that quickly turns into astonishment.
āY/N? Baby?ā he whispers, his hands instinctively reaching for your cheek, āPlease be real.ā The same words he pleaded out last night leave his lips again. Jongseong has spent so many nights dreaming of you, wishing in an alternative universe that he can hold you again, so much so that this doesnāt feel real.
You donāt know what to say but obviously, you have to say something. It was one thing to confront drunk Jongseong who didnāt have a wit about him but now it feels like thereās a boulder on your chest as you try to conjure up the courage to speak to a sober, semi-alert Jongseong.Ā
All you can do is nod, no words escaping your dried lips. You look down to see you and his limbs mangled together just like they used to be, the feeling of his body pressed so tightly against yours almost feels like heaven.
He takes in the sight of you, the lines of disbelief on his features soften, replaced by a glimmer of hope. Slowly, almost tentatively, he reaches out to you, his fingers brushing against your cheek as if to confirm your presence.
The touch sends a jolt of electricity coursing through you, heās caressing your cheek so tenderly it reminds you of the time you had the shift from hell and Jongseong held you the whole night, whispering sweet words into your ear and stroking your tears away, just like this.
Except there are no tears this time, youāre all cried out - months of mourning the loss of your relationship will do that to you.
As Jongseong's eyes meet yours, a flicker of recognition passes through them, followed by a wave of embarrassment. His voice is soft as he speaks, a hint of uncertainty lacing his words, "What are you doing here?" he asks, his tone laden with confusion.
"You got pretty drunk last night," understatement "And Jake asked me to come pick you up."
You can feel the tension in the air as Jongseong processes your words, his expression a mixture of shame and regret, "Sorry, I don't usually drink that much," he murmurs, his voice tinged with remorse.
The explanation stings, not because Jongseong has been drinking more, but because of the distance it creates between you. It's as if he's explaining himself to a stranger, rather than to the person who once knew him better than anyone else. The past six years youāve known how he knows his limit and that he doesnāt tend to breach it, not subconsciously.Ā
All you do is nod, accepting his explanation as you slowly start to detangle yourself from him, āI better get going.ā
āY/N, please let's talk,ā he pleads as his voice wavers, his grip tightening around your waist, and his desperation palpable as he pleads for your attention. But you've made up your mind, and no amount of persuasion can sway you from the path you've chosen.
"Jongseong, please, let's not do this," you implore, your voice tinged with a mixture of sorrow and resolve, "We're only going to hurt ourselves again."
You both know the reasons behind your breakup are deeply rooted, immutable truths that cannot be changed. It's not a matter of cheating or petty disagreements - this is about fundamental differences in desires and aspirations for the future.
But Jongseong refuses to accept defeat, his forehead coming to rest against yours as he breathes his love out, "Princess, we can work it out, I know we can," he insists, his words heavy with sincerity.
You steel yourself against the onslaught of his love, knowing that to give in would only prolong the inevitable pain, "We want different things, Jjongie," you remind him gently, your voice tinged with regret.
āI can do without them. Itās you I canāt live withoutā¦I canāt breathe without you here by my side.ā His words are sincere and you know it, but you canāt accept it. When you both discussed your future, he looked so excited at the prospect of kids that your heart broke instantly. You knew right away that you couldnāt give him what he wanted most.
Closing your eyes and sucking in the bottom of your cheeks, you steady yourself to have this conversation yet again, āYou canāt give up the idea of having kids. Having the life you want is much more important than me. You can find someone who can give you that.ā
It hurts to say but you need to rip the bandaid off quickly.Ā
āYou think I want that life with anyone but you?ā His voice raises lightly, hinting at the anger rising into his chest. He needs you to listen to him, to understand him, āY/N, if itās not with you then I donāt want that life.ā
Shaking your head determinedly, you sit up, āBut I canāt give you that life, itās not what I want.ā You feel like youāre reliving the argument that ended it all those months ago.
āThatās okay-ā
āNo, Itās not,ā Itās your turn to get angry and interrupt him, your eyebrows lacing together as you try to read him. How can he say all of this so easily? Like he wasnāt trying to promise you that he would change his entire life plan just to be with you. Is it romantic? Sure, but itās also fucking stupid. No one should change just to keep someone they love because if they were meant to be, then their values would alignā¦right?
"It's not that simple, Jongseong," you argue through the silence, your voice tinged with frustration, "You can't just sweep aside your dreams for the sake of our relationship. What about what you want? What about your own happiness?"
Jongseong sits up, the covers hiding his naked lower half; he hadnāt realised he was naked and it only adds a new layer to his vulnerability. He is truly laying himself bare to you.
But Jongseong's gaze remains unwavering, his determination evident in the set of his jaw, "Since we broke up, I've realised that you are the life I want," he declares, his words carrying the weight of his conviction, "Whatever that looks like for you, I want it."
You feel his words like a pickaxe, slowly breaking away at the wall youāve spent months building around your heart and reason. A whirlwind of conflicting emotions sweeps over you. On one hand, his declaration of love sparks a glimmer of hope amidst the ruins of your fractured relationship. Yet, on the other hand, doubt claws at your insides, gnawing away at any semblance of certainty, the pure love that you have for him only wishes to make sure heās happy and gets everything he wants in life.
"Jongseong, I..." you start, your voice wavering as you grapple with the turmoil inside. How do you express the depth of your feelings?
Grabbing your face with his large hands, he kisses you, his soft lips now coating yours. Youāve missed him so much that you become overwhelmed by his actions, a soft tear leaking from your ducts.
So much for being all cried out, you think to yourself.
"It's you, Y/N, I only need you," Jongseong whispers against your lips, his urgency evident as he seeks solace in the warmth of your embrace, stealing kisses with a hunger born from longing.
In spite of yourself, you find your lips responding to his touch, drawn in by the familiar sensation of his mouth against yours. Your arms instinctively wrap around him, fingers grazing lightly over the muscles of his back as you hold him close; your brain is telling you to push him away but your heart is pulling him tighter to you.Ā
"It's not fair to you, Jjongie," you murmur, the words weighted with a sense of guilt and remorse.
"I'd rather be with you happily than with kids and someone else miserably," Jongseong confesses, his words carrying the weight of his heart's deepest desires.
Jongseong wishes you could see it from his point of view; of course, he has wanted kids and a comfortable life for so long but the idea of achieving that when you are not his wife seems fucking ridiculous. There is no one in this world he wants to be with other than you and if that means he has to be an uncle rather than a dad, so be it.
You are all he has ever wanted. To grow old with you, to experience each of your accomplishments together and have you close to him. He wants to protect you and look after you the way he knows he should and that is his new life goal. This isnāt a decision he has made lightly but a decision he wanted to make.
His hands glide down your sides, trailing over your thighs as his kisses continue, each touch a manifestation of the craving that has consumed him. His need for you is overwhelming, every fibre of his being yearning for you in every possible way. Another moment without you feels unbearable, as if he might die.
You surrender to his touch, sinking back onto the bed as he hovers above you, his grip on your thighs firm yet tender. The intensity of his desire leaves marks, but in this moment, you welcome anything he offers.
It's astonishing how the feel of his lips on yours dismantles your resolve, scattering your apprehensions like leaves in the wind.
Slowly, he removes from you the t-shirt that has absorbed his tears on countless nights and the boxers you borrowed from him, leaving you exposed beneath him. As he looks upon your naked figure, his eyes drink in every curve and contour, offering silent gratitude to the heavens for letting him have you like this. You are everything he wants and more.
āYouāre so fucking beautiful, Y/N,ā he whispers into your mouth as he presses his body hard against yours, his member rubbing itself against your folds.Ā
The feeling of him rubbing against you is enough to elicit a moan. No amount of toys was enough to satisfy you, not the way Jongseong could. Over the years you learned about one anotherās bodies so intimately that no one could ever know you the way he does, not even yourself.Ā
You couldnāt bear the thought of sleeping with someone else, even if you and Jongseong had broken up, your heart couldnāt do it. You never even considered a one night stand because deep down you knew that your body belonged to Jongseong and no one else.
He moves his hips, slowly rubbing himself against you, the bell of his cock grazing your clit teasingly. It feels like a dream for him to touch you this way again, and the fact that you were coating his cock with your wetness was enough to tell him that you need this too.
Kissing you desperately, his tongue darts into your mouth and swirls with yours as he seeks to taste you, his buds dancing along with yours. He moans into your mouth and acts as an echo of his love for you.
āI missed you so much,ā he whispers as his hips continue to move slowly, teasing your hole with his tip each time he draws back. Itās becoming increasingly obvious how much itās starting to irritate you, your need to have him inside you is evident in your whines of frustration.
"I missed you too, baby. More than anything," you confess, your hand finding his cock as you press against him, seeking to create greater friction between you. With each movement, the pressure builds, sending waves of pleasure coursing through both of you.
With each synchronised movement, the tension between you mounts, the desire for one another lingering in the warm air. His hips continue their slow, teasing rhythm, each brush against your core sending sparks of want up your heat and into your chest.
Feeling the urgency building within you, you guide his cock with precision, pressing it against your eager entrance. A soft gasp escapes your lips as you feel the head of his length dip into you only slightly, the anticipation of being filled with him heightening your senses.
"Please," you whisper, your voice laden with need and longing, a plea for him to take you.
With a teasing grin, Jongseong relents to your plea, but not in the way you expected. Instead of thrusting into you the way you want him to, he trails his fingertips along the curves of your body, igniting a trail of fire in his wake. His touch is light and tantalising, tracing patterns across your skin as he savours every moment. He wants to take his time with you, no matter how much his dick longs to be surrounded by your walls.
You like to be teased even for a little bit, the payoff at the end always hits the right spot.
You squirm beneath his touch, aching for more, but he continues with deliberate slowness. His fingers dance over your heated flesh, exploring every inch of your body with an intimacy that leaves you breathless. Each caress sends shivers down your spine, building the anticipation to unbearable heights. God, you missed his hands all over you.
As his right hand dips lower, he begins tracing circles around your sensitive clit and you can't help but arch your back in pleasure, a soft moan escaping your lips. The sensation is electrifying, sending waves coursing through your body as he expertly teases you.
Feeling your body tremble with anticipation, his touch becomes more urgent as he presses his fingers against your throbbing clit h and with practised skill, he begins to move faster, applying just the right amount of pressure to have you writhing beneath him.
āYou look so fucking perfect, all desperate and whiney like this, Princess,ā he says as he leans down to kiss you, breathing in deeply through his nose as he tries to fill each of his senses with you. It wasnāt just enough to feel you, he wanted to taste you, to inhale your scent, to hear you cry out for him, to see you unravel beneath him.
Your breath catches in your throat as the intensity of his touch sends you spiralling towards the edge of bliss. Each stroke of his fingers drives you closer to the brink, your body humming with the need to let go.
But just as you feel yourself teetering on the edge, Jongseong suddenly slows his movements, drawing out the pleasure with agonising slowness. It's a torturous tease, the brief moments of intensity followed by long, drawn-out strokes that leave you gasping for more.
āPlease, please, please, Jjongie,ā you whimper in frustration, your body aching for release as Jongseong continues to play you like a symphony, alternating between fast and slow, building the tension to unbearable levels. Just when you think you can't take it anymore, he finally gives in, his fingers dipping into your heat and thrusting into you at a rough pace, your pussy soaking his digits as he coaxes out your orgasm.
āYouāre clamping down on my fingers so hard, Baby, you gonna cum?ā he asks arrogantly, knowing that with each curl of his finger, he is watching your body lose control and surrender to him.
Nodding quickly, you pull him down for a long, searing kiss as his thumb joins the party and flicks your clit rapidly, āOh my god,ā you moan out into his mouth through bated breaths, āIām gonna cum, Jongseong, please can I cum?ā
āYou never have to ask baby,ā he moves his mouth to your ear and lightly nibbles your lobe, āCum for me, Princess,ā he gently commands.
Jongseong continues to work his magic, his fingers moving with expert precision as he guides you through the throes of ecstasy. Your vision blurs and every nerve in your body hums with pleasure as you reach the pinnacle of bliss.
With a final, desperate cry, you let go, your orgasm crashing over you like a tidal wave. You arch your back and cry out his name as pleasure consumes you, your body trembling with the intensity of it all.
His fingers remain still inside you, but his thumb maintains its relentless pace, each swipe sending jolts of pleasure coursing through your body. Your hips instinctively twitch in response, your nub throbbing with sensitivity and yearning for a respite. Yet, Jongseong shows no signs of letting up, his determined flicking only intensifying.
"You like that, baby?" Jongseong's voice is hoarse with desire as he intently watches your reactions. His eyes are dark with need as he continues to work you with wild desire.Ā
Your senses are overwhelmed by sensations pouring through you, so you can only respond with a gasping nod. Every single nerve in your body is buzzing with ecstasy, and all you can think of is the delicious agony of his thumb against your delicate clit.
"Tell me what you want, Princess," he asks, his voice a seductive whisper in your ear, "Do you want more?"
You can only make a frantic plea, your words barely comprehensible in the middle of intense pleasure. "Yes, please, Jongseong... More..."
Jongseong's lips curl into a wicked grin as he hears your plea, his confidence growing with each breathless gasp that escapes your lips. With a teasing twinkle in his eye, he moves his fingers again, pressing them against your contracting walls, his hot breath ghosting over your ear as he speaks.
"What do you want, Y/N?" he whispers, his voice dripping with anticipation, "Tell me, and I'll give it to you."
Your mind is a haze of desire, but amidst the fog, one thought stands out clear and demanding. You need him inside you, filling you completely with his presence. With trembling hands, you reach for him, your fingers curling around his cock, guiding him to where you need him most, pushing his hand out of the way.
"I want you," you whisper, your voice trembling with need. "I want all of you, Jongseong." When you utter the words, thereās a deeper meaning to them, a meaning that Jongseong is clinging to.
The way your fingers wrap around his rock-hard member elicits a hiss from him, your touch mixed with your words only fuels him to give you everything you need.Ā
Jongseong lets out a guttural groan, entirely surrendering to your touch and words. His eyes darken with want as he watches you take control, and his breath quickens with anticipation as you guide him inside you. His breath coming in ragged gasps, he looks into your eyes with a mixture of desire and adoration, "God, Y/N," he murmurs, his voice rough with need, āYou feel so fucking incredible. Iāve missed how you just suck me in like this.ā
You look down and watch as his entire length gets lost in your heat, his cockās head hitting deep within you. Youāve missed how he fills you up so much but you hadnāt realised just how badly until right now as he shallowly thrusts into you.
You respond with a low moan of pleasure, your nails digging into his skin as you pull him closer, urging him to go deeper. "Yes, Jongseong," you whisper, your voice laced with longing, "just like that. I need this so much, I need you."
With each thrust, he grunts in response, his movements becoming more desperate as he seeks to satisfy your every desire, "I'm yours, Y/N," he declares, his voice filled with raw emotion, "completely and utterly yours."
As he lifts your legs and closes them, gently draping them over his left shoulder, your warmth envelops his shaft, drawing him in closer. Jongseong relishes the sensation of your tightness, revelling in the snug embrace of your canal around him. And you too find delight in the pressure of his girth, relishing the way he stretches you further with every powerful thrust.
Each movement of his hips is deliberate, each one designed to bring you both closer to the edge of ecstasy. As his hands stroke your legs tenderly, contrasting with the intensity of his thrusts, you find yourself lost in the intoxicating rhythm of your bodies moving as one.
His jerks grow more intense, the pace quickening as he drives deeper into you, each stroke bringing you closer to the edge, "You feel so good," he groans, his voice filled with unrestrained passion, "so fucking perfect for me, Princess."
In response, you curve your back and meet his thrusts with equal conviction, the heat between you building to an almost euphoric level. "Jongseong," you exclaim, your voice a symphony of fulfilment, "don't stop, please don't stop."
Jongseong intensifies his efforts with a wild growl, each movement driven by a burning need to push you to the edge of satisfaction and beyond. At this moment, there is only you and him, burned by the fires of passion.
With a swift motion, your lover bends you in half, positioning your legs by your head as he quickens his already rapid pace. Lost in a whirlwind of desire, your eyes roll back and your hands instinctively grip his shoulders, your chest heaving with each forceful thrust of his cock. Your nails dig into his skin, leaving marks on his shoulder blades as you cling to him, lost in the intensity of the moment.
Feeling the sting of your nails, he grits his teeth and strains his neck, the veins in his temples pulsating as he fights the overwhelming urge to release inside you right then and there.
āFuck, claw my back, Baby,ā he growls, his voice thick with desire, āmake me yours again.ā With determination, he continues to pound into you, each movement bringing you closer to your shared orgasm.
After hearing Jongseongās go-ahead, you dig into his back, dragging your nails across his skin, leaving fiery red lines in their wake, just like he wants. It burns him in the most delectable way, making his cock throb inside of you.
Your breaths combine in the air, creating an ensemble of desire as you both reach the edge. The tension between you grows with each thrust, a crescendo of want reaching its peak.
As he slams into you furiously, his voice fills the room with urgency, "You gonna cum again, Princess? You want it?" His words are a mixture of want and domination, starting a fire inside you that threatens to consume everything in its path.
With a firm nod, you meet his gaze, your eyes brimming with want. "Yes, Jongseong, please," you beg, your voice a frantic appeal for release once again.
In response, he increases his efforts, his motions growing more frenzied as he propels you both to your orgasms. And then, with a final, strong thrust, you shatter, your body convulsing from the ferocity of your release. Jongseong follows closely behind, his own climax mirroring yours as he finds release within you, āFuck!āĀ
His body stills as he shoots his seed into you, the tremble of both your bodies vibrates the bed beneath you. Finding it hard to keep himself up, he falls onto you, moving his cock into you further, only drawing out a final moan from your lips.
After a couple of minutes, Jongseong rolls over, his chest heaving up and down rapidly. God, he missed the way you feel under him, he could go another ten rounds if you asked.Ā
But that would mean you would stay, and is that even something you want? He doesnāt want to ask, your answer being the deciding factor of whether he goes on his life with misery or happiness.
He knows he canāt force you into this relationship but he hopes he has done enough to convince you that you are all he wants.
āPlease be with me again, Y/N. I canāt live without you,ā he whispers into the air, not daring to look at you.
You on the other hand only want to look at him, to see if you can really try this again, āEven if it means no kids? No playdates with other parents? No family trips to Jeju?ā
āEven without all that.ā He does look sincere, his eyes now burning into yours with a new lease of determination.
The truth is, youāve missed him so much that it hurts. Behind the strong facade is just a girl who misses her lover. Being without him is like being in a fire with no escape, constantly fighting your way out of a blaze while your lungs collapse. Heās the clear path to fresh air you desperately need, there is no denying it. And clearly, he thinks the same about you.Ā
Seeing him last night so fragile and broken engulfed you in the flames, burning you alive because you know that you feel every ounce of hurt that he is. It was a mirror to how you were feeling and you donāt think you knew how badly you needed him until that moment. You were trying to be so strong about it all, giving yourself only a short amount of time to grieve that as you looked at Jongseong last night, you know he has done the same.
You need one another to extinguish the fire.
āJongseong, truly think about this, this isnāt me saying no to letting you go on a lads holiday, Iām denying you the opportunity to be a father,ā you plead with him one last time, giving him an out to all of this as you lay it all on the table.
āPrincess, I have had seven months to think about it. I am not compromising or altering my needs for you, this is a decision that I have made on my own. If I truly wanted the life I thought I did, I wouldnāt be begging you to be with me right now. I know this isnāt an easy choice but I have never been more sure about anything in my life.āĀ
Jongseong kisses all over your face, each one a receipt of his sincerity.
His words strike straight into your heart. Heās serious. A part of you wants to still feel guilty like youāre forcing him into this but on the other hand, heās right. Youāve given him a multitude of opportunities to leave and find a girl who will cater to him, but he hasnāt.Ā
He doesnāt need to because all he needs is you and your love, to Jongseong, that is all he needs in his life.
āOkay, but if you ever change your min-ā
He interjects with a kiss, one filled with so much happiness and love that itās almost intoxicating; either that or all the booze in his system has transferred its way into your bloodstream.Ā
You giggle as he rolls over on top of you again, peppering loud and wet kisses all over your face and neck akin to a dog licking you from utter joy. Your hands try to fight him off playfully, your laugh growing louder as he nuzzles into your neck.
āOh, wait!ā Your lover's sudden pause catches your attention, his eyes sparkling with excitement as he swiftly rolls off the bed and rushes over to the messy pile on the chair by his dresser.
Curious, you crane your neck to see what he's up to, watching as he retrieves something from the floor.
āWhat is it?ā you inquire, intrigued by his enthusiasm.
Turning back to you, Jongseong holds up the familiar torn sheet of paper that you recognise instantly, his smile lighting up his face. He grabs a pen from the desk and returns to your side, handing you both items.
āTick it off,ā he urges, pointing to the bottom of the page where a new addition was made yesterday morning. Despite his internal conflict about the list, he couldn't bring himself to tear it up. If he never saw you again, this would be a precious memory to hold onto.
So he added a new aspiration at the bottom.
Taking the pen from his hand, you read it slowly, āMake Y/N mine again..ā
You gaze up at him in awe, understanding the significance of this gesture and how much the list means to him, āYou wished for this?ā you ask, to which he simply nods at your question, āThen you need to tick it off.ā You push the pen and paper back to him but he stops you.
āNo, you made the wish come true, so you need to tick it off,ā he replies, the corners of his lips upturning slightly.
So, with the pen, you draw a line over the words, scoring it off once and for all as you beam proudly, happy that both of your souls are now joined together again. You pull him in for a long, deep kiss, the bucket list discarded as you lose yourselves in the moment once again.
āHappy birthday, Jjongie,ā you say, even if you are a day late.
SUMMARY. Remember that time you tried to get Enha to go one more round, even though it was going to make them late for practice?
GENRE. $MUT
AUTHORS NOTE. No Niki in this one ⦠Iām simply just not ready yet š this all started with Jungwonā¦.as always. I #needthat so bad omg. Iāll add a keep reading later!!! I use mobile 99% of the time lmfaooo.
HEESEUNG
Heeseung is halfway dressed, his shirt unbuttoned, exposing the marks you left across his skin. He should be leaving. His phone has buzzed twice with reminders for practice.
But you? Youāre making it impossible.
Lying there with that smug little smile, eyes heavy with mischief, legs tangled in the sheets like you belong to him and only him. His mind is at warāresponsibility vs. pure, unfiltered desire.
He exhales, rubbing his jaw before giving you that look. The one that makes your stomach flip.
āYouāre gonna make me late,ā he murmurs, his voice dripping with amusement.
You stretch, your shirt slipping just enough to tease. āMmm. And?ā
His tongue flicks across his bottom lip. He eats this upāthe softness of your skin, the dreamy way youāre watching him like heās the only person in the world. And that part of him that wants to ruin you for this? Oh, itās winning.
āYouāre dangerous, baby,ā he sighs, running a hand through his hair before he leans in, pressing his hands into the mattress on either side of you.
āIf you think youāll ever be able to tame me,ā you whisper, dragging your fingers down his chest, āyouāre wrong.ā
A slow smirk stretches across his lips. āGuess that means I have just enough time to teach you a lesson about playing fair.ā
His shirt slides off his shoulders. His phone? Ignored.
JAY
Jay grips the edge of the dresser, head bowed as he takes a very deep breath. Heās fighting demonsāno, you.
Because you know what youāre doing. Lying there, looking up at him with those wide, innocent eyes that are anything but.
He should be walking out the door, but instead, he turns, slow and deliberate, raking his gaze over you like heās memorizing every inch.
āYou,ā he starts, his voice lower than before, āare relentless.ā
You tilt your head, pouting just enough to make him twitch. āWhat?ā you murmur, dragging the sheets up like youāre shyālike you werenāt just begging for him an hour ago.
He exhales sharply, stepping closer, towering over you. āThis. The games. The teasing.ā His whole body is tense, like heās trying so hard to keep his control. āYou really think I have time for this?ā
Your fingers graze the waistband of his sweats, featherlight, and his whole body stiffens.
āYou always make time for me, Jay,ā you whisper, biting back a smirk.
His jaw clenches. His hands tighten.
āYeah,ā he mutters before flipping you onto your back with one rough pull. āI do.ā
JAKE
Jakeās halfway out the doorāhoodie thrown on, bag slung over his shoulder. Heās already late.
But then you giggle.
Soft, sweetādripping with amusement.
He turns on his heel, eyes narrowing. āWhat?ā
You bite your lip, stretching out across the sheets, giving him a look that makes him twitch. āNothing,ā you hum, ājust funny how you think youāre leaving me like this.ā
Oh, youāre playing dirty.
āYouāre unreal,ā he mutters, dropping his bag as he stalks toward you. āAbsolutely shameless.ā
You hum, tilting your chin. āThis is what you do to me, baby,ā you breathe, dragging your fingers over his wrist as he reaches for you, āand you love it.ā
His grip tightens. His breath hitches.
āGod, I do.ā
His lips crash against yours.
Practice? Long forgotten.
SUNGHOON
Sunghoon stands at the foot of the bed, arms crossed, his brow furrowed, a mix of frustration and desire flashing in his eyes. Heās trying to hold his ground, trying to convince himself that heās leaving and thatās that.
But youāre lying there, playing your cards like you always do. That teasing little smile, the way your body moves under the sheets, bare skin on displayāhe knows exactly what youāre doing.
āYouāre impossible,ā he mutters, his voice low, almost warning you. āYou know I have to leave.ā
You stretch slowly, arching your back just enough to make him forget every reason he had for walking out the door. Your eyes are half-lidded, lips parted slightly as you hum, āSo go.ā
The playful, sweet tone of your voice has a fire starting in his gut, but he tries to remain composed. āGo, huh?ā He swallows hard, the tension building between you two. His arms drop to his sides, but his fists are clenched, and heās battling with himself, trying to stand firm. āYou really think Iām just going to leave you like this?ā
You smirk, pushing yourself up on your elbows, your gaze locking with his. āIf you can,ā you taunt, voice dripping with the kind of playful arrogance that always gets under his skin.
His eyes narrow, and his body shifts, as though heās about to snap. āYou really want to push me, huh?ā His voice is deeper now, the usual calm replaced with an edge of frustration. His fingers twitch at his sides, aching to touch you but knowing itāll make him lose control.
āIs that what you want, Hoon?ā you murmur, sliding the sheets down your body just enough to show him what heās trying so hard to ignore. Youāre too much of a temptation. āYou want me to beg you to stay?ā
Sunghoonās eyes darken with something dangerous, something raw. He takes a step closer, his breath becoming shallow. He grips the edge of the bed, leaning over you. āI donāt want you begging for anything,ā he growls, his voice thick with need. āBut youāre making it damn hard to walk out of here. You know that?ā
You let your fingers trail up his chest, feeling the heat of his skin through his shirt, the tension rolling off him in waves. āThen donāt,ā you whisper, your lips brushing his ear as you push against his chest. āStay with me. Just a little longer.ā
He shakes his head, the small movement full of frustration. āYouāre too damn good at this, baby,ā he murmurs, his lips brushing against your neck as he dips lower. āBut I warned youāif you keep this up, you wonāt be able to walk straight when Iām done with you.ā
You shiver under his touch, your body burning with need as he pulls you toward him. His lips crash against yours, hot and desperate, with all the pent-up frustration heās been holding back. His hands move to your waist, pulling you closer, your body flush against his.
āYouāve got five minutes, Y/N,ā he whispers between kisses, his voice a mix of hunger and control. āBut I swear, if you keep pushing me, youāll never leave this bed.ā
SUNOO
Sunoo stands by the door, his hoodie half-zipped, fingers curled around the strap of his bag, but heās not moving. His eyes flicker to you, still sprawled on the bed, sheets barely covering the evidence of what just happened. He swallows, hard, but masks it quickly with a smirk.
āI know that look,ā he muses, leaning against the frame with practiced nonchalance. āYouāre trying to kill me, arenāt you?ā
You shift, stretching just enough to make his gaze darken. āMe? Never.ā Your voice drips with feigned innocence as you prop yourself up on your elbows. āBut you really think you can just leave me like this?ā
His smirk falters for a fraction of a second. Heās eating up the way youāre looking at himālike heās something to be worshipped. And he is, but God, youāre dangerous.
Sunoo clicks his tongue, shaking his head as he steps closer, the air around him shifting. āYouāre so spoiled,ā he murmurs, his fingers brushing against your jaw. āAlways wanting more.ā
His voice is low, teasing, but you see the way his chest rises and falls, the way his grip tightens like heās already lost the fight before itās even begun.
You lean into his touch, your lips barely grazing his palm as you whisper, āI canāt help that I know what I wantā¦and I always get it.ā
His breath catchesājust for a secondābefore he exhales a sharp laugh, his other hand finding your waist, pulling you against him in one smooth motion.
āYouāre so lucky I like my punishment sweet,ā he murmurs, his lips ghosting over yours, āor else Iād make you beg for it.ā
You grin against his mouth. āWho says I wonāt?ā
His eyes darken. His bag hits the floor.
Practice can wait.
JUNGWON
Jungwon stands at the edge of the bed, jacket in hand, hair still messy from what you just did to him. Heās tryingāreally tryingāto leave. But his knuckles are white around the fabric, his feet glued to the floor, because the way youāre laid out in front of him? Bare legs tangled in the sheets, skin still warm and glowing from before? Itās taking everything in him not to crawl back into bed and ruin you all over again.
āI have to go,ā he mutters, but itās weak. Half-hearted. Like he already knows heās lost.
You stretch lazily, rolling onto your side, the curve of your body on full display. āMmm, do you?ā Your voice is teasing, sweet and slow, curling around him like smoke.
Jungwon clenches his jaw, eyes dragging over every inch of you like heās committing it to memory. Like heās already regretting leaving.
āYou really think you can just walk out after that?ā You prop yourself up on your elbows, lips curling into a knowing smirk. āJungwon, baby, look at you. Youāre not going anywhere.ā
His Adamās apple bobs as he swallows hard, hands flexing at his sides. āYouāre unbelievable.ā It comes out like a whisper, a confession, his resolve hanging by a thread.
You stand slowly, letting the sheets slip just enough to have him sucking in a sharp breath. āAm I?ā you purr, stepping closer, your fingertips barely grazing his chest. āThen why do you look like you want to devour me all over again?ā
Jungwon exhales through his nose, like heās this close to snapping. His hands find your waist, grip tightening as his forehead drops to yours. āYouāre gonna be the death of me.ā
You hum, your fingers trailing up to tangle in his hair, tugging just enough to make him shudder. āBut what a way to go, huh?ā
His laugh is low, breathyāhalf frustration, half surrender. His lips brush against yours, teasing, lingering, almost giving in.
āGod, youāre so spoiled,ā he groans, but his hands are already pulling you flush against him, already betraying every excuse he tried to make. āYou know I canāt say no to you.ā
You smile against his lips. āYou never do.ā
And thatās it. Thatās the final thread snapping.
Jungwonās hands grip your thighs, lifting you with ease, pressing you into the wall with a heat that has your breath hitching. His lips find your neck, his voice rough, needy, wrecked.
āDo you even know what you do to me?ā he murmurs, biting down just enough to make you gasp. āHow fucking crazy you make me?ā
Your fingers tighten in his hair, a smug smile playing on your lips. āTell me.ā
Jungwon groans, his lips trailing lower, his body pressing you tighter against the wall. āYouāre perfect. Perfect, and you know it.ā His voice is almost desperate now, like he needs you to understand just how far gone he is. āI swear, you drive me insane.ā
You tilt his chin up, forcing him to meet your gaze. āThen show me,ā you whisper. āOne more time, Jungwon. Prove it.ā
His forehead drops to yours, his breathing uneven, his resolve completely shattered.
āYouāre gonna get me in so much trouble,ā he rasps.
But his lips are already crashing into yours. His hands are already gripping, pulling, taking. And when he growls āJust one moreā against your lips, you knowā
... ā¢ ā š¼šššāÆšš¼š¾š. astrology reading ā± JAY (04.20.2002) NOTE: im still learning about astrology (not an expert) but i promise you i have knowledge <3
FULL ANALYSIS
SUPER SUPER LOYAL & DEVOTED
"Forever kind of love" with his taurus sun, mercury, and venus, he's the kind of husband who doesnāt take commitment lightly. When he chooses someone, heās in it for the long run. Divorce isnāt even a thought in his mind. He wants stability, a lifelong partnership, and a home filled with love.
He makes his wife feel secure (not just financially) but emotionally. Heās not the type to throw around big romantic gestures often, but the way he consistently shows up proves his love more than words? omg (acts of service yeahh you hear me) He values tradition and consistency...the type to always hold her hand when walking together or make sure she eats before he does.
2. AFFECTIONATE but but in his OWN WAY
I'm not sure if he has a cancer or leo moon? he has deep emotions, but they show up differently depending on his mood.
If heās in a Cancer Moon phase, heās protective, nurturing, and sentimental.If itās Leo Moon energy, heās proud, warm, and loves to be adored. Either way, he needs reassurance...his love isnāt one-sided. He thrives when his wife shows him just as much love in return.
3. ACTS OF SERVICE OVER WORDS
I brought this up in the first bullet, but itās pretty clear heās the type to act like that since Iāve seen videos of him helping people. Have you all seen that one where a staff member (girl) was carrying a tray with a water bottle and he offered to help, but she said no but he really wanted to since it seemed heavy? BARK BARK BARK
His taurus mercury and venus make him a practical romantic. Heās not one to "sweet-talk" or write long, emotional texts but heāll fix things around the house.
Heās dependable and steady, making sure his wife never has to worry about anything.
If she ever doubts his love, heāll remind her through actions, not just words.
He prefers routine and reliability..heās the type to kiss her forehead before bed every night without fail.
4. PROTECT BUT NOT CONTROLLING
With cancer jupiter, he has a strong instinct to protect and nurture.
If his wife is stressed, heāll pull her into his chest and stroke her hair until she calms down.If someone disrespects her? he wonāt make a scene...but heāll handle it in a way that makes sure it never happens again. He doesnāt get jealous easily, but when he does, heās more passive-aggressive than confrontational.
5. Playful and Teasing ( But Knows When to Be Serious )
His gemini mars and saturn bring a fun, teasing energy.
Heās the type of husband who pokes fun at his wife but gets offended if someone else does.
He enjoys lighthearted arguments and playful bickering.
But when itās time to be serious, he instantly shifts gears and becomes the rock she can lean on.
6. Emotionally In-Tune ā But Doesnāt Like Feeling Weak
With pisces lilith, he has a soft, almost hidden side that only his wife truly sees.
He can get deeply emotional, but he hates feeling vulnerable in front of others.
If he ever cries, itās only in private with his wife.
If sheās struggling emotionally, heāll stay up with her, quietly holding her until she falls asleep.
7. Takes His Role as a Husband Seriously.. again bark bark bark
His Leo Juno means he sees marriage as something grand and meaningful.
He wants a wife he can be proud of, show off, and cherish.
He takes the idea of being a provider and protector seriously.
He believes a husband should lead with strength, but love with gentleness.
additional stuff cuz i cant keep my mouth shut
THIS HO IS SOOOOO SOFT FOR HIS WIFE, BUT WILL NEVER ADMIT IT...
Heās naturally more serious and composed, but when it comes to her? He has weak spots.He lets her get away with things others canāt.If she insists on something ridiculous, he acts annoyed but always gives in.If she falls asleep on him, he stays still, even if heās uncomfortable.
YK THE SONG BY NE-YO "MAD"? SPECIFICALLY THIS LINE? Girl, I don't wanna go to bed (Mad at you)
bitch i tell you Heās not the type to start arguments, but he also wonāt let things slide if it matters. If thereās a disagreement, he listens first...but if something truly bothers him, he wonāt back down.
He doesnāt raise his voice, but his serious tone is enough to make a point. BACK TO THE THING THAT I WAS SAYING BEFORE EVERYTHING I JUST DROPPED HE.... NEVER lets an argument last longer than it should.
He doesnāt like going to bed angry. READ THAT AGAINNNNNNN
ā Synopsis: There was no way of knowing if this was a house or an exhibition. Y/n, a sadistic vampire, liked to have her toys always in her sight. Jay was wrong to think he could get away from this, Y/N didn't accept rebellion.
Facts: Human blood is the best to feed a vampire. However, the exchange of blood between vampires always touches all the physical and mental senses and emotions. The blood of a newly transformed vampire is more intense, as it still has the energy of human blood mixed with that of a vampire.
ā Genre: smut
ā Warnings: unprotected sex, fingering, oral sex, praising, cum inside, making out, clit play, begging, hickeys, cum eating, overstimulation, gore, death, blood, torture, more. .
ā Notes: I'm new to this writing thing, and English is not my first language. Sorry for not writing so well, I wish to improve and bring better and well-written stories.
Everyone was tense in the mansion, they preferred to avoid Y/N's fury, so they chose to stay in their rooms, except Sunoo who was being the good boy he always was.
Y/N was sitting on her throne, with Sunoo sitting at her feet with his head in her lap as she stroked his hair. His fingers absently roaming her legs as she waited for Jay to wake up.
When Jay woke up, he was in a mix of anger and panic, he failed, he couldn't believe he was back there in that mansion, things would definitely be worse now, he knew she would be very angry.
Jay gathered courage and got up from his bed, his room, like the others, had everything to be perfect, it was big and everything suited his tastes, everything he liked was there, everything was incredible, except due to a detail that all their rooms had, all the walls that faced the large hall were made of glass, it was as if it were part of an exhibition.
As soon as she noticed that Jay had woken up, Y/N called Heeseung and ordered him to bring Jay.
Leaving his room, Heeseung went to Jay's. When he took the locks off the room and opened the glass door, Jay tried to leave, but Heeseung didn't let him.
- Sorry, just with the collar. - Heeseung said before attaching the collar to Jay's neck.
It wasn't new, she often only let them out on a leash, but Jay hated it, hated being humiliated and controlled.
Heeseung led Jay through the large hall. Y/N watched them expressionlessly, but her eyes glowed red that showed how angry she was.
- You can go, honey. - Y/N said to Sunoo, who got up.
Before leaving, he kissed Y/N on the lips. He always showed how useful a toy he was, he liked to be the favorite, always having privileges and receiving praise.
As he was led to Y/N, Jay looked around. Everything seemed normal, I could see inside the seven rooms that surrounded the hall, Y/N's throne was still in the corner right in the center of the wall, the stairs that circled behind it going to her room, the heavy white curtains were open , the antique table that was there in front of the window, the sofas full of cushions on the other side of the room, but the statues and decorations were all broken. It was obvious that Y/N had broken down in a fit of rage, it made him fear whether she had calmed down yet or he would be on the receiving end of her fury.
Heeseung apologized before giving Jay a small push to kneel when he arrived in front of Y/N.Ā
Y/N smiled when she saw Jay there at her feet, the collar around his neck, the ropes restraining his body and his hands tied.
- Did you really believe you could escape? - Y/N's tone was low and calm, but extremely threatening.
Jay remembered how Y/N found him so easily in the forest, even though he ran away hours ago, and how, on her orders, Sunghoon and Jake captured him so easily, while she, with just a movement of her fingers, did With his body being restrained by ropes and another movement of her hands, she made him suffocate until he passed out.
- What did you intend? Die alone? Or did you think you could survive without my blood? - Y/N laughed sarcastically.
It turns out that Y/N was a vampire, they were just humans when she captured each one, she gave a small amount of her blood causing a partial transformation, she prevented the complete transformation with a poison, so they would be even more under her control, They would need blood, but they could not have the powers or strength of vampires, and as they were not fully transformed and the doses of poison weaken them, they would die without her blood.
- It doesn't matter, it's too much to bear this humiliation, to be treated like a doll, humiliated, literally to be stepped on by you. - He knew he was taking a risk, but he wasn't afraid to confront her.
Y/N laughed loudly, giving him goosebumps, while with a slight movement of her hand, Jay's collar was pulled around his neck, making him come to her.
- Don't you like serving me? - She asked, a falsely offended tone, her hands now pulling on the collar, making him fall to his feet. - Tell me what you don't like? I don't give you pleasure? And that? Wow that's pretty offensive.
Jay didn't know how to respond. What didn't he like? It's not like he hated being there, it was just⦠he didn't like how everyone had to be submissive to her. Why did she control everything about them? As he thought he realized what angered him, it was her in control, he wanted to be in control, to make her pay for every humiliation, every time she made him beg for some blood, every time she pushed him to the edge. and then torture him. He understood that running away and dying wasn't what he really wanted, that was stupidity driven by anger, what he wanted was to make her pay, was to make her beg just as they needed to beg for her, was to ruin her.Ā
- I'm sorry, I don't hate you, I was just tired of being deprived of having you properly.
Y/N studied him for a moment, assessing whether the gleam in his eyes was really due to this desire or just anger. She realized it was true, she saw that his anger was about not being in control. She just laughed at him, he really felt offended that he had to be submissive to her.
- Oh oh, my poor boy. - She lightly tugged on his collar, making him come closer to her, so close that their lips almost touched. She made the ropes that bound him fall from his body and hands. - You really don't think you could ever have control over me, do you?
She then kissed him, it was a slow kiss, but it made his whole body burn. Damn, he could hate her, but at the same time, he loved what she did to him.Ā
Occasionally, she would tug on the leash, making him gasp each time she tried to tame the kiss.
When he towered over her and tried to touch her, she tugged harder on the collar, breaking the kiss.
- No my dear, you never remember, you can only touch me when and where I allow you.
Jay was angry again, he wanted to just pick her up and fuck her, but here she was again depriving him of doing what he wanted.
- You said you're tired of being deprived of having me as you want. How about I let you show me this? I will give you the chance to show me how much you love me, my dear, I will not interfere.
Y/N signaled for him to kneel again as she spread her legs, her short dress riding up, revealing her black lace panties.
Jay grabbed Y/N's leg, kissing her thighs as he slid her stockings down her legs, kissing along each now uncovered part until he reached her feet. He did this on both legs, meeting Y/N's eyes who were looking at him with anticipation, when he did the opposite, now kissing from her feet to the top of her thigh, he removed Y/N's already wet panties, running his fingers over her wetness, and then he bit her thigh, he heard Y/N moan when she felt him drink her blood, she normally didn't let them drink from her without her permission, he ran his tongue over the bite, stopping the trickle of blood that came out of your bite, Y/N gasping feeling his breath on her wetness but without touching her, teasing her. She was already starting to get irritated, when she felt her warm tongue run through her wet folds, she moaned in satisfaction.Ā
Jay held tightly to Y/N's thighs that threatened to close while he devoured her pussy, playing with her clit, his fingers inside her. Y/N's hands stuck in his hair, pulling silently asking for more. She was almost reaching her climax when he pulled away with a smile. After doing this a few times, teasing her, Y/N's eyes flashed with anger, he wanted her to beg, but she would never do that. He smiled, she might not be begging with words, but her expression of desperation was enough to inflate his ego.
A sly scream left Y/N's lips when Jay slapped her pussy, she involuntarily blushing under his gaze, his fingers moving inside her again, as he went back to eating her again, hungrier, his fingers more precise, his ego inflated with Y/N's moans and desperation when she finally came, I god fingers, he continued playing with her while licking every drop.Ā
Jay felt himself being pushed by Y/N, she was flushed and very angry, she regretted letting him play with her, tease her, she was furious that she had gotten to the point of almost begging him to fuck her. She was the one who had control over him, not the other way around. She couldn't look weak or desperate. She needed to remind him who was in power here.
Y/N stood up, adjusting her dress, and hit him, leaving a large red mark on his face before holding him down, her nails digging into his cheeks, making them bleed.
I hope you had fun, because this was the first and last time you might think you would have any control over me.
Picking up his leash again, she headed to her room, him right behind her being pulled. He watched, finding it both amusing and revolting at the same time, how someone as small as her could act so dominant over him. He wanted to fuck the arrogance out of that little body.
When they reached Y/N's room, she didn't even look at him as she moved her right hand, making ropes wrap around his wrists, pulling him and pinning him to the wall, his collar falling off. She came back to him with a blindfold in her hands.
- You are really brave, I can't believe you dared to drink my blood without permission. - Y/N said while controlling the blindfold to stick to his eyes.
- Oh, I think I hurt your pretty face. - Y/N said, running her fingers over the wounds left by her nails on his face.
Jay pulled his arms, trying to free himself, furious. But he wouldn't ask her to release him, that would be even more humiliating, as well as completely useless.
Running her sharp nails gently along his neck causing goosebumps, she went to his shirt, where with more pressure, she tore it in half, continued running her fingers over his chest and abdomen, several cuts appearing where her sharp nails passed. Jay was trying not to moan between the pain and pleasure of the burning of the cuts, but he couldn't hold back when he felt Y/N's tongue passing through his body, absorbing every drop of blood that flowed from his wounds.
She finished removing his clothes, exposing his erection, running her finger around the tip, spreading the precum before pumping it.
- Funny, you didn't try to run away from me? - She said, putting more pressure on her movements. - So, explain to me if you don't like how I treat you, why are you so hard?
Y/N continued her movements, Jay's moans made her laugh, she loved how she had control over him. Just as he was about to cum Y/N his hand, he growled in anger.
- Oh, that's right. - A tone of false sadness in her voice. - You don't deserve to cum, not yet, not after you ran away. I'm really very offended.
He heard Y/N's footsteps walking away, she was really going to leave him there in this state, trapped with his cock aching for release.
He felt his blindfold fall off as Y/N snapped her fingers removing it. She was sitting on his bed now naked watching him from afar, with a creepy smile on her face.
- Maybe I should call one of the others to satisfy me. - She said as she ran her fingers through her wet folds. - Oh Jay, you could be here with me now, but you ran away from me. You don't like to satisfy me, do you? Maybe Sunghoon can do that, he's been really good to me.
Y/N's eyes widened when, with a strong pull, Jay released her hands that were pinning him to the wall and angrily went towards her, who was too surprised to react.
- Did you forget that I haven't drunk the poison for two days? - He said, climbing over her, his hands firmly holding her waist as he pushed her to the center of the bed. - And you also forgot that I drank your blood earlier in the hall.
Y/N was too confused to think how much stronger he could be at the moment, probably not enough, she was still stronger, but it didn't really matter, she didn't want to react, she liked having him so threatening over her .
She didn't even care when he, without hesitation, simply entered her without any warning.
Nothing mattered to her, not while he seemed so powerful, making her realize how small and fragile she really was beneath him, not while he fucked her so ferociously, not while he let out the accumulated anger from so many times she humiliated him. .
He wanted to make her beg for him just like she made him beg so many times, but he couldn't take much more, he needed his release, and he got it, finally without hindrance, without torture. Y/N moaned, feeling him fill her with his cum. She couldn't take it and came soon after.
Y/N was lying on her bed, breathing heavily, when she noticed Jay picking up her clothes and leaving her room, leaving her there.Ā
- You're going to pay me for this Jay, don't think it's going to be like this. - Y/N shouted at him angrily, sitting on her bed. - You are my toy, you are just a doll, don't think you can have any power over me.
The others looked at Jay confused, surprised by Y/N's words, what could he have done to make her angry?
However, someone was smiling, perhaps it was time to execute his plan.Ā
- I think the time has come to make things fun. - Sunoo played with the small bottle in his hands.
Heeseung made you upset and had other plans to make it up to you⦠in the back seatā¦
PAIRINGS - big dick!heeseung x fem!reader
GENRE - smut
WARNINGS - smut (mdni), p in v, protected sex, riding, big dick heeseung, dirty talk, sex in the car⦠duh, Imk if i missed anything!
WC - 1k
A/N ā another smut chapter of my wattpad series "My Secret Lover." if you wanna know what happens next, go check it out at lheesluv on wattpad. thank you for 100+ followers already ahhh !!!
He pulled you in a needy kiss and pulled you to sit on top of his lap. "What do you want, pretty," he asked, whispering against your lips. "Can I ride you?" You asked in a faint whisper. A smirk grew on his lip, "Is that what you want, darling?"
You nodded shyly, looking away from his stare. He tapped your thigh and you got off his lap for him to pull his pants down. He leaned forward to the front seats and pulled out a condom under a compartment. Saying you were flustered was an understatement. You pulled down your shorts and you suddenly felt embarrassed.
"Don't be shy, love. Come here."
You hovered over his lap, holding onto his shoulders for support. You lined yourself up with his tip and slowly sank down. You bit your lower lip to suppress yourself. His hands ran up and down the slides of your body to ease you.
"Fuck," you breathed out, feeling full. "You okay?" he asked you with concern. You nodded. "You're just..." your voice trailed off, making him confused. "What is it, darling? You can tell me." you were about to embarrass yourself. "You're just... b-big, so it's justā"
His laugh cut you off. You knitted your eyebrows together with a small frown. "Why are you laughing?" "It's justā" He couldn't finish his sentence because he kept on laughing. "Hee!" "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. You're doing great, love."
His pet name made your stomach twirl in so many different ways. After you felt yourself get used to this position, you slowly lifted yourself up and sank back down on his length. It was slow at first, but he kept whispering praises to you.
Eventually, you found your pace and slid up and down his cock at a rhythm. You noticed his eyes were glued to your pelvis. He watched as his cock would disappear inside of you every time you went up and down.
His grip on your ass tightened when you focused on thrusting up and down around the tip of his head. "Fuck, Y/n, you're so good," he mumbled with a breathy voice. You couldn't help but let out a moan when you felt the tip of his head hit your G-spot every now and then.
"Gonna use me to make you cum? Hm? Won't you, love?" "Heeseung," you moaned his name out in response, gripping his shoulders tightly. You got weak and he noticed it. His hands held your waist to help you glide up and down his length. His lips were parted, his sweaty forehead, and his head was thrown back against the seat of the car. He looked too good.
You gasped when you felt his tip stroke past your spot. "You're s-so deep," you cried out, your forehead dropping on his shoulder. "You're taking me so well, pretty. So fucking well." You felt your wet walls clench around him at his words. A strained moan fell out of his parted lips at the pleasure.
You found yourself riding him harder and faster. His hips thrust up from below, your hips meeting in the middle. The pleasure felt too good and you wanted to release so bad. The feeling was unbearable. It felt too good. This new deep angle had you weak to your knees. He had you feeling pleasure in every way possible.
"Fucking hell you feel so good, baby," He gasped out then bit his bottom lip. Several moans fell out of your lips as the pleasure built up inside of you. You wanted more and more of him. You lifted your hips just enough for his tip to still stay in you then you thrust back down on his length and repeated the movement.
"Fuck, Heeseung," you cried out his name, bouncing up and down on his cock. The pleasure was too overwhelming. You threw your head back, eyes squeezing shut at the intense feeling.
The tinted windows were foggy and the sound of us moaning and panting was audible. The car would shake and the smell of sex filled the car. Constant skin clapping fueled the fire inside of you.
"Please don't stop," Heeseung said in a breathless voice below you. You felt yourself get turned on even more. His moans made you want to make him cum faster.
You felt yourself getting closer and closer to your release. "I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum," you desperately cried out, your legs giving up on you. Heeseung took over and thrust up into you from below, making you cry out in pleasure. "Cum for me, pretty girl."
As if it was on command, you came with a strained moan and dropped against his body. "I'm close, okay?" You tiredly nodded at his words and let him use you like a toy. "Shit, I'm so fucking close," Heeseung breathed out, holding you tightly as he pumped himself into you.
You had some energy left in you and decided to help him. You sat up straight and rode him with all the energy you had left. Your hips grinded back and forth on his cock to create friction. Heeseung relaxed his body underneath, warm hands holding your waist to guide you. You clenched yourself around him repeatedly, desperate for him to cum.
"Please, please, please," you whined in a whisper, pressing yourself down on him. "Fuck, I'm about to cum," he breathed out heavily, thrusting himself back up into you, chasing his release. "Oh, Y/n," he moaned out, gripping your waist tightly as he shot his hot load in his condom. That will surely leave a mark for the next few days.
Your breathing slowed down and found its normal pace. His grip around your waist loosened and so did your grip on his shoulders. You leaned in and pressed a soft kiss on his lips before hugging him. A small whimper escaped your lips when you felt him deeper in you. His arms wrapped around your sweaty body and kept you close.
"Are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm feeling better than okay," you breathed out and couldn't help but smile sheepishly. His hands softly massaged your waist. He pressed a few butterfly kisses on your shoulders before pulling you away to stare into his eyes. "You're so beautiful," he complimented you and tucked your loose strands of hair behind your ear.
His sudden compliment made your cheeks warm. "T-Thank you." He giggled at you and pulled you back into a hug.