pairing: kim mingyu/mingyu x gn!reader
genre: soft angst, slice of life, don't kill me I had this dream myself a few weeks ago and I couldn't not keep it just to myself.
tags: established relationship (yall married you're welcome), softness, angst but soft, thunderstorm outside
Something unknown had brought you out of your sleep. Something you couldn't decipher no matter what in those split seconds that you awoke from. And it instantly bothered you, but in a way, instantly feeling as though something was missing.
You opened your eyes to the other side of the bed to find it empty. The sheets dipped and wrinkled in ways that gave away a recent presence had just left it. Especially the sharp yet comforting scent that remained somewhat.
In your mission to find the answer to your sudden question, "where is he?" in your mind, your eyebrows furrowed as you sat up. The duvet above you sliding down from your shoulders down to your waist, exposing the skin to a somewhat cool air. Dressed in only your inner garments, with a simple tank top over your chest and an underwear, you found yourself sliding out of the bed and setting your feet to the marble floor. The familiar cool stone sent a plethora of goosebumps all over your skin. But even the coolness of the marble was unable to deter you away your main goal: looking for him.
Pursing your lips, you made your way down the hall, away from the bedroom and towards the dimly lit living room. Usually, Mingyu prefers a light in the house on that could let him sleep - something you had to get used to over the time you've spent with him. However, the only lighting on would have been the bedside lamp that was also left on.
"Mingyu?" You called out in a loud whisper, afraid of using your own voice in the middle of the night. Perhaps from also disrupting whatever lurks on the night, unseen in this house and beyond it. Honestly? You wouldn't say you cared given the heavy rain pouring outside. Maybe you had to raise your voice a little.
Glancing around as soon as you entered the living room, you breathed in to call out a little louder but a figure standing by the large window pane halted you.
You stepped closer, concern shooting through your tired self, surely woken up by the somewhat huddled figure.
Carefully heading towards him, his towering figure looked... small all of a sudden.
You didn't like this. You can feel it. Something strong from the way his shoulders and head fell forward. So still.
Your heart was not feeling any better.
"Mingyu...?" All you heard was a hum in response.
Your arms found their way in a familial manner around his waist, pulling his large back to your chest. Forehead resting on his shoulder blade. From where you peeked out, you can see the side of his face: eyebrows clearly etched, lips pulled into a form of a frown. Troubled.
"Why aren't you in bed, baby?"
You were met with silence.
"I don't want to talk about this." He huffed out, taking a sudden step away to evade your touch. This was too foreign. You instantly hated the denial. You can clearly see how it pained him from his posture.
"Please, Y/N. I don't... want to talk about this."
You stepped closer to him and your hands found easy purchase to his cheeks. Wait. Were those tears—? "Y/N." He tried to demand again, sternly. But his voice broke. Almost as though your heart did the same. Panic was already setting in and your mind was in a frenzy. What's going on? What hurting him? Why is he hurting?
You demanded him to hush and forced him to look at you. It took him forever to finally look at your eyes and when he did, you wouldn't be surprised if your own waterworks of tears broke right then and there. Those warm eyes held something. Things you wanted to understand. But your mind could only work so much without worrying over what his reddened eyes have.
"Easy. Breathe in. Deep. Yes, just like that. Now, out." You'd lie if you didn't catch your own voice quivering. Swallowing, you held him tighter. Nodding with an encouraging smile, it only dropped when Mingyu held your wrists and pushed them down. To your sides.
"Please... I— I need... space."
"Uhm... yes. Yeah, okay." You said shakily. You cleared your throat and, with all the might you could muster in that moment, you took a step back. Your fingers squeezed together into a fist as you focused on pulling back tears, turning your head away, "take your time." baby.
Why were you overreacting? Is this overreacting? Why wasn't Mingyu sharing his worries as he always did? What held him back? When did this start? It can't all just happen in one night, can it?
What was going on inside that beautiful brain of his?
You wanted to know, oh so badly. But he needed space. Surely, time too.
"I'll see you in bed." You whispered.
Mingyu pursed his lips and nodded, a frown ever etched onto his face. You can tell the strong guilt that set in, but there was something else eating at his mind to apologize or consider to compensate.
You had a strong urge to lean to him and kiss his cheek, or his nose. But this... sudden disruption to whay was a norm for the longest time? It was surely holding back usual comfort that you always sought in one another.
And your heart... you cannot even begin to mention what is happening.
And this was the first time... was it? Last time this occurred was ages ago, usually such moments were dealt with instantly.
You made your way down the hall with heavy steps. Once, you turned but his back remained a silhouette down there. Your lips turned down further.
Getting into bed was the strongest and most horrible feeling. Emptiness. Concern. Guilt (what guilt? What were you guilty for? None of this was your fault. But here you were). Most of all, this sadness you want to grab out of your heart. It was light, but fucking awful.
You didn't realise how long time has passed; it remained to rain heavily over the night. You didn't fall asleep. You couldn't. You didn't want to. Not until Mingyu was alright. Not until he came back to fall asleep. Or if he decided to sleep inside. It was... his choice after all.
You needed to respect that.
Laying at your side and curled up under the duvet, you faced the pristine white wall ahead. Losing track of time once again. So far, at the edge of the bed, if not almost falling off.
You didn't realise you've dozed off, almost jumping out of your own skin to feeling the other side of the bed dip. Your heart pounded in your ears, unable to formulate thoughts or words, even to ask if he's alright. His gentle movements were enough to let you know he was being considerate and careful as to not wake you up. Unbeknownst to him, you were awake. Just silent.
A deep sigh escaped him as he finally stilled. Pulling the duvet over him, you could feel the warmth seep instantly against your slightly exposed back. He inched closer. Closer. Until finally, you felt an arm snake around your waist. It was expectant, you waited. There. Finally, his chest landed against your back, his chin ontop of your head.
Out of reflex and care, your brought your hand to wrap it around his own that lay against the bed on the other side of you. You shifted your hamd silently to interlock your fingers and his together and pull his hand to your chest, bringing him close to you.
"I'm sorry, baby." He whispered. You almost broke.
You reassured him with a tight squeeze before raising your clasped hands to face his knuckles to your lips. "Sleep, love."
Did you feel better? Yes. Was it because you finally had him by your side? Yes. Was it partially selfish? Maybe. But he was here. Next to you. It seemed as though he understood what he had done. But you knew until he opens up, it'll be time.
"Do you trust me?" Your heart almost dropped at that.
You twisted around and stared at him. He gazed down at you, frowning.
"Always, Gyu." Your own frown was there, but far less. "Whatever it is that is going on in your brain, take all the time you need to figure it out. But, please, Gyu, love, my life, please, know I'm always here to listen, to hold you, to care and respect as I have vowed."
The guilt was there in his eyes that you could easily read from the dim lights.
You sighed and tilted your head up to plant your lips against his. It was as though he needed it, searched for it and finally found it. He kissed back. Even in those brief moments, he spilled his thanks and love for you. You both pulled away with the smallest smiles. You brought your free hand up to brush aside the few stray long strands from his face, tucking them behind his ear. You fingers moved to card through the back of his head, down his long hair, to his neck. You cupped his cheek and pulled it down to plant a delicate kiss to his forehead.
Your smile widened in reassurance. "Always."
You returned to your previous position, back pressed against his hard chest, his legs finding yours to wrap around. He planted a few soft and lazy kisses to the back of your head before finally nestling enough to be comfortable to sleep.
Just before sleep found you, you heard him whisper, "I love you, Y/N. Where would I be without you?"
You drifted to sleep with your heart swelled: love and care far more evident than before, easily replacing the ugly feelings not too long ago and ready to be give the best to the man you love most. Always.
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