there was something to be said about attending a birthday party for someone you don't know well. while ordinarily it would be a nightmare situation for william, he was without a doubt having one of the easier times that evening. he wasn't haunted by memories as he moved from room to room, the stakes were on the lower side for getting caught while snooping, and his small talk with minor characters from his childhood wasn't tinged with the same level of sadness as that of those who had actually been close to amelia.
that still didn't mean he was having a great time, but throughout the dinner, he'd been reminded that it could have been a whole lot worse. his list of complaints was on the shorter side.
of course, romy and juliette attending together was one of them.
he'd been keeping an eye out for juliette all night, eager to see her alone and give her an update on his personal life. but as the night stretched on and the festivities began to come to an end, he'd almost lost hope. until he wandered back into the backyard and stumbled across her.
"you know me. i love parties," he said instead of a greeting. an obvious lie. "as you can see from the smile on my face, i'm having a great time." a half-truth.
it had been a while since they'd gotten to speak, and he had entirely too much to say. however, he couldn't proceed until he checked in with her. "you?" he asked in return. "how've you been?"
juliette's whole body felt less tense when she was around william. no matter what happened, he was her person. she wouldn't have had it any other way either. there was no one who could ever understand her the way he did, and it made being here at this party a million times more manageable for her.
she knew she had to have that contagious smile she was always heard she had growing up when william joined her outside. there was so much she wanted to talk to him about. "you're the biggest and best partier i've ever met," she let out a chuckle as she made room for him to officially join her. "you're having a much better time than some people here." while her newfound joy was palpable, there was no denying that there was a morose sense filling the entirety of the castro's property.
"i'm okay," she answered with full honesty. "i know i'm lucky that i wasn't super close with her - god, lucky shouldn't be the word i use," she spoke. "but it's not like i lost the love of my life to who knows where. i feel terrible for everyone but i'm relieved i'm not one of them." she rambled, not feeling the need to overthink her words because... well, because it was william. rambling jumbled thoughts or well executed speeches, she knew he would always understand her.
The blonde slid into place next to her, always appreciative for an invitation; she was sweet. It's why Will liked her so much. And probably was why Liza had liked her so much - and why Romeo would? Well. Sure. They guessed.
Tonight must have been painful for her. If Justice was feeling awkward and no one was even thinking about them, Juliette must have been feeling humiliated by how clearly the Castros favored her boyfriend, the honored guest's ex, to Amelia's current partner (weirdly, Juliette's ex).
She nodded when Juliette voiced that it felt wrong. That was exactly the word for it. Maybe it'd been too late to cancel the caterer or something but... they could afford a cancellation fee. Unless they were absolutely convinced that this would be the ultimate temptation for Amelia to return: a party that doubled as a fun way for Alejandro Castro to remind everyone how rude he could be to his wife. "For people who act like they're better than everyone else, they're really showing us how strange and unstable they are."
Justice chuckled, then grimaced. "No, their daughter is missing. That was mean of me."
something in the air shifted when the blonde joined juliette. maybe it's because there was just another body out there with her, and one she felt comfortable with. maybe it's because juliette was assuming justice felt just as much like an outsider at this event as she did. but hey, juliette learned what they said about assuming from a very young age. for all she knew, justice could have been having the time of their life tonight.
"you think they think they really are better?" she questioned. she wasn't sure if she agreed. sure, they weren't shy about showing off their wealth or flamboyance tonight, but that didn't make them better than justice or herself. "there's definitely an argument to made that you and i are better than them," she said quietly, not wanting to unintentionally offend anyone. her opinion didn't come of malice, it came of the knowledge that anyone who has lost a child couldn't be that well off.
juliette laughed at the backtracking. "it's not mean." she said with a small shrug. "they are absolutely unstable. probably more than we know."
Justice had been ducking out of the door to escape the conversation they'd been overhearing - it was getting way too detailed on a mole that they truly could have gone their whole life with. In what felt like the exact moment they'd snuck out, they heard Juliette. Invisible to visible in a split second.
Hand to their heart, they took a deep breath. "Y'scared the shit out of me for a second."
For a moment, they pondered whether Will had asked Juliette to come first, and she'd have said no because she'd be coming with Romeo. Was their invite as a plus-one really just a last minute effort to have someone to go with? Were they the standby? Shaking the thought out of her head, Justice replied: "honestly, the vibes in there are a little off."
juliette couldnβt help but let out a small laugh at the reaction from justice. the idea of juliette scaring someone felt silly, but then again, she usually wasnβt the girl to hide out at party. βIβm sorry,β she said, scooting over from her spot to make room for justice. βscary isnβt what iβm going for, maybe moreβ¦β she paused for a moment to think. βsurprising?β she asked, though it came out with a laugh at the end. laughing had becoming one of her new strategies to hide how the party was really making her feel.Β
she nods in agreement at justiceβs similar ideas of the vibes of the night. βit just feels kind of wrong, i think?β her voice raises at the end, but sheβs not sure if it really is a question. βbirthdays are supposed to be happy. this doesnβt feel like the time for a happy celebration,β she says. justice was bound to have a more coherent viewpoint on the night than juliette. it was something she always admired about the person who had came to save her from her loneliness thatβd sheβd never admit to.Β
it was hard to breathe already, but even harder inside of the house. she felt like she was being suffocated with the reminder of how wrong this all was, with all the pictures of amelia frozen in time. liza had plenty of pictures of her own, ones where her amelia shined through. on the visor of her driver's seat and taped to her mirror and shoved in the back of her phone case and on her lock screen. being in amelia's space without her was devastating, almost unbearable, like she was just a tiny bit too far out of reach.
she's collecting gulps of fresh air when her eyes follow the voice to juliette, and for a moment her whole reason for going outside is for naught as her breath catches. there's a rush of guilt, though that was the standard when she saw her ex-girlfriend. she wants to pretend everything is fine, she doesn't deserve juliette's concern or comfort, but liza has always had a difficult time hiding her feelings with juliette.
juliette was in touch with her emotions enough to finally and slowly, agonizingly slowly actually, accept the fact that while the two of them may no longer be in love there will always be a part of juliette that loves liza. she had even come to terms with the fact that liza was in love with amelia. but god everything tonight felt like far too much. julietteβs shoulders were strong but even she had a point where she couldnβt bear it anymore. the air was pungent with the knowledge that in one way or another, amelia was gone; why was there a birthday party of all things being hosted?Β
βwhich one are you going to feel better telling me?β she hopes itβs the real one, but she probably deserves the pr one. especially tonight. but still, her mind wanders. liza deserves to have someone comfort her. amelia canβt do that obviously. she thinks, maybe, just maybe her shoulders can bear a little bit more for liza.Β
juliette tried really hard to figure out the word to describe the feeling she had upon entering the castro's home. even though she hadn't been forced to walk in alone, she hadn't been forced to be the primary target of small talk, she hadn't even had to hold her sympathetic smile for as long as she thought she would. but it all felt wrong. this wasn't where she was supposed to be, right? juliette didn't know how to hold a grudge and she would never say anything awful about amelia. maybe it'd feel better if she hadn't known amelia's real last known location.
her mind was going through a million thoughts a minute. it always did, this really wasn't anything new. the backdoor opening made her head snap to the person joining her outside. "hi," she welcomed the person to join her outside. "how are you holding up here? are you having fun?" she questioned, desperate for a distraction that would silence her wandering mind.
out of all the hearts she's broken, juliette had been the worst. really, hers is the only one liza truly regrets. she never should have gotten involved with her in the first place, especially not so fresh off of a heartbreak. but juliette had been there, so soft, so kind, so willing to give her all the things benji wasn't. juliette was the exact sort of person that would never, ever hurt her the way that he had. the sort of person liza had never had any business being with in the first place. she couldn't be trusted with a heart so fragile. for all of her own softness there was sharpness just underneath, always waiting to strike when she was frightened.
liza is surprised juliette is talking to her at all, let alone saying nice things about her. she doesn't know if she'd be capable of the same if she were in her ex-girlfriend's shoes.
"yeah, me too. that's why i did it," she admits, "doesn't seem like she agrees, though. i probably shouldn't have gotten in the middle of whatever is going on between the three of them."
juliette's therapist had once called her a "super feeler" and told her that she felt all her emotions, well, super big. every good thing truly did feel like she was on cloud nine and left her feeling elated. but god, the bad things? they were hard. harder than juliette knew how to cope with most of the time. she wished during the bad times that she could shut down and not care for just five minutes but then she wouldn't be juliette, she wouldn't be the super feeler. the break up with liza was hard, maybe the hardest break up juliette had ever had, but she had truly loved her more than words could've described. even now, with time slowly but surely healing the wound, she still cared about liza enough to not have that many ill willed feelings towards her.
"it just proves you've got a kind heart." juliette didn't know if she immediately regrets saying that. is that an appropiate thing to say to an ex even if it is true? "no," she lets out a soft laugh, "it definitely seems like there's a mess going on between all of them. i think i'm learning to just stay in my own little bubble anymore."
she's toeing a line, she's sure of it, asking about liza's own life but there would be more regret if she didn't ask. after all, she really did still care about liza, even if it was a different type of caring compared to one point in time. "aside from all of that," she gestures vaguely towards the entire beach "are you doing okay and all that? you obviously don't have to tell me," she says, trying to give liza an out in she just wants juliette to run off and leave her alone.
juliette's diary was probably the only one who knew how she felt about liza anymore. hell, it may even have a better idea of her feelings than juliette herself actually does. she doesn't believe in bad blood. she doesn't believe that liza's intention was to break her heart. she doesn't even think she fully blames liza for their relationship falling apart. there were days where juliette wished that she could be friends with liza. that wasn't insane, right? just because they were't in love anymore doesn't negate the fact that juliette and liza had a bond, a close one at that. but some days, juliette contemplated surrounding herself with people who didn't know amelia, who didn't know liza, who didn't even know juliette just yet. wouldn't that make life easier? to hide from her problems? it's a shame her parents put her in therapy so young and she's had the idea of 'you can't run away from your problems' instilled in her for far too many years.
so when juliette was on her way back to the bonfire after hanging out in the house and ran into liza, she froze for a moment. "hi," she said, taking a moment to collect herself. another one of her therapist's favorite coping skills was simply counting to five, and juliette had learned to love it. as she said the number five in her head, she spoke up again. "i'm sure you know but you did the right thing during truth or dare," she said. "not that i didn't think you would, but i would've been in tears if i had been in juni's position. i'm sure the kindness was really appreciated and all that."
ft. the empress @softishs
location. deck looking out at the beach
red cup clutched as tightly as it could be in large calloused hands, benji leaned against the railing. his cup simply had soda in it, something sickly sweet. anything to cover the bitter taste in his mouth. tearing a hole in his cheek so early on the night was a mistake, as it's only gotten worse throughout the night. almost too lost in his own thoughts, he almost missed juliette wandering out to the deck. he held his hand out, palm up, offering to take her hand and lead her to his little spot of isolation, "there you are, sweet girl," a genuine smile slowly grew across his features, "how's the party treating you?"
juliette's vice of choice was always going to be a fruity little drink that managed to taste more like juice than alcohol. after the game of truth or dare, she managed to find something that met her requirements but honestly? she needed a break. a moment to sip on her drink without taking on the emotions of the people around her. she hadn't planned, or even expected, benji to be on the deck but she was glad it was him of all people. "hi benji," her voice soft as she took his hand. she settled in to the spot next to him. benji had always been incredibly kind to her, and he knew the truth about her 'relationship', so she felt like she could let her guard down around him. "it's been a long night, that's for sure," she let out a soft laugh which surely was partially due to drink in her hand. she was the giggliest of drunks. "it's a nice night though. why are you up here alone?" an eyebrow raised as she questioned him. she would've never taken benji as someone who would escape from a party, she figured he'd want to be in the center of the action.
the first half of her night had been spent inside the beach house, playing games she hadn't played since she was fourteen years old. she left feeling like she probably should've never left the spot she intended stay all night, the bonfire. it wasn't like she didn't enjoy everyone else in the beach house, she really liked most of them actually, but they weren't her people. so when she found her person at her spot, she was absolutely elated. "are you having fun?" juliette asked as she found a spot next to him for her to settle in.
"i just played truth or dare," she recapped her night for him with a laugh. "what have you been up to all night? do you have any dire information that i need to know about before i go to sleep tonight?" she laughed as she nudged him with her shoulder.
π« : juliette mohan @softishs
π : leaving the bonfire
"there she is." it's like entering another universe, stepping into a circle of people weren't his disciples, eyes looking to him not with admiration but scrutiny, maybe wariness at best. still, romy flashes them a winning smile, takes juliette's hand to twirl her before an arm wraps around her shoulder "i'm just gonna steal you for a second, if that's okay."
when they'd started this arrangement, romeo thought this might be a problem. they were from completely different worlds. hell, she was good friends with his rival. but, if they wanted this to work, there was going to have to be compromise "look, jules, something's gotta give here." he ducks his head close as he leads her away from the fire, speaking lowly "come with me to the beach house, show face for a bit, then you can go hang out with sheldon, leonard, and the gang."
her head quickly turned at the sound of a familiar voice. a genuine smile formed on her face as her not-so-genuine date walked over. "you're here!" she said excitedly, knowing there was going to be a long debrief with her friends tonight. "of course," as he took her to walk off, she turned around and mouthed a quick apology to the people she had planned to spend the evening with.
juliette had been the more optimistic about their plan from the beginning, though she usually tended to always be the more optimistic one. "it's fine, i don't mind hanging out with you and your people," she said softly. juliette truly didn't even dislike any of them. the only downfall is that they weren't her people. though soon enough there'd be a time when romy was forced to hang out with juliette and will, she was sure of it. "be nice," she said, lightly and playfully slapping his wrist as they walked. "they're good people." she fought the urge to invite some of them to the beach house with her. not that juliette thought anything bad would happen, it always made her feel better to have someone who had her back around. "you guys aren't gonna do anything too crazy right?" she asked, not even realizing she was nervous about the situation until she felt her thumb rubbing against her ring finger.
a well loved teddy bear sitting in the front seat of the moving truck, the way the light fills a room through lace curtains, strawberries taste how lips do, puffy eyes from crying with a smile that still manages to be sincere, a diary that's seen everything from glitter pens to lipstick βΈ» or, otherwise known as juliette mohan
my fair warning before you read this is that i despise writing intros with my whole heart <3
about !
juliette made marilyn, the former ballet dancer, and isaac, a future hot shot lawyer, the happiest parents in the world on the gloomiest day of the summer. the mohans were overjoyed at the birth of their one and only child, but marilynβs mother may have been the most excited person in the hospital that day. no one ever expected either marilyn or isaac to settle down. they were both so career orientated but the day that marilyn came home with a sonogram to show isaac, the only thing she could focus on was giving her baby girl the best life possible.
marilyn tried to put a just freshly walking juliette into toddler ballet classes and that was probably the first instance of julietteβs chronic people pleasing disorder coming into play because the poor girl hated that ballet class more than anything. she didnβt move as gracefully as anyone, and she the tutu made her legs itchy. but every tuesday, wednesday, and thursday at 9:30am juliette cheered as her mother pulled into the dance studio parking lot and put on a big old smile until marilyn left. it took juliette about two years of dance before juliette spilled to her grandmother, affectionately called nana, about how she didnβt like dance. she never went back to classes after that. despite being all of four years old, juliette realized in that moment that nana would always have her back.
if you ask juliette, she will claim that she truly did have a mostly normal childhood! her dad worked a lot, but that was the only complaint she ever really had. for most of her life, the mohan family wasnβt well off but they werenβt necessarily struggling. julietteβs family vacations comprised of going a hour north and staying in a fancy hotel for two or three nights but even the thought of going to somewhere like disneyworld, or god forbid out of the country, was completely out of the question.Β Β
at one point in time, juliette started coming home from school every day in tears. her parents would try to ask her what happened and all juliette could manage to explain was that someone didnβt like her. and thatβs genuinely what it was. there was a group of two or three kids who found julietteβs overly loving and kindhearted personality annoying. they didnβt bully her. they didnβt say anything mean. they simply told juliette that no, they didnβt want to be her friend because they didnβt like her. and oh my goodness it sent her into an absolute downward spiral. how could someone not like her? what had she done wrong? what could she do to fix it? all she ever tried to do was be a good person and now sheβs being told by a group of her peers that sheβs the worst person ever to exist and her hair is ugly and sheβs terrible. (they said none of that. the groups of kids was actually really mature and as kind as they could be when they told juliette that they donβt like her. juliette is dramatic and a crybaby)
her parents decided that this was not a normal reaction to not being liked by some kids at school and immediately threw juliette into therapy and this was one of the only times where juliette didnβt want to spill her guts to a stranger. she had a negative view of therapy and frankly didnβt think she needed it, it wasnβt her fault that people were mean so why was she was the one being punished? obviously the mature and smart grown ups in julietteβs life knew it wasnβt a punishment and could realize that the full on mental breakdowns and crying for hours at a time is Not a normal reaction to not being liked.Β
it took about two years for juliette to accept that the people in her life were genuinely trying to help her and make her realize that it was okay for people to not like her but even to this day her first instinct is like βthis person doesnβt like me? i absolutely must find a way to get them to like me one way or anotherβΒ
while in high school, juliette really figured out that she loved people and that was probably the career path she would take in life. she wasnβt the greatest student but any of her social science electives that she got to take always resulted in an perfect grade on her report card. she couldnβt do math, and she couldnβt write a great essay, but she could talk to people and understand them.
also another high school timeline thing is that julietteβs dad won a massive corruption case, and he got a huge payout from it. julietteβs family went from being comfortable but they definitely stuck to a tight budget to living in a mcmansion and her mom got to retire early. suddenly julietteβs not perfect grades didnβt matter as much because her parents would pay her tuition in full, and maybe even make a sizable donation to the school.
juliette inherently felt guilty about basically overnight not having any financial stressors anymore so she talked to her favorite teacher who recommended she play golf. golf scholarships were plentiful and it didnβt require the most athleticism. surprisingly, juliette was actually fairly decent at golf and enjoyed it a lot. it didnβt hit her in high school but she cringes now thinking about how she got rich and immediately got really into golf.Β
she ended up majoring in sociology in college and is now in grad school for social work because she wants to be a school social worker so that she can help little kids, because really all juliette has ever wanted to do is help people
connections !
we must torture juliette and give her at least person who cannot stand her. it will destroy her and i crave it so bad
if it is not painfully obvious juliette is a Good Girlβ’οΈso i really would love someone who is the opposite of her and maybe they try to even each other out? maybe one tries to convert the other to the dark/light side? i have no idea but give me the polar opposite of julietteΒ
i dont think juliette is probably super duper huge on one night stands but like give me one anyways because what if she has a mental breakdown over it bc sheβs so lover girl coded but one night stands dont mean loveΒ
juliette is also very crybaby and i think itβd be very funny if she has someone who she facetimes everytime sheβs crying so they just only ever see her with tears and puffy eyes and a snotty noseΒ
i think every girly deserves an ex who she has a weird friendship with!!! like yes they dated yes juliette still calls them honey no they probably wonβt ever get back together,,, or will they omg who knows
