10 ways I became anxiety free.
To overcome anxiety you need to put in the work, this is not some click-your-fingers-and-its-gone shit. You need to return home to yourself and learn to live in alignment with your truth and not what society expects from you. I went from years on years of crippling anxiety and panic attacks to living completely anxiety-free for many years now, here’s what I did....
1 ) I fucking paused. I created a space for myself daily to meditate / journal. I stopped listening to the outside world and started tuning into me. I noticed the voice in my head and all the was it was kicking me down at every given opportunity. I noticed how I worked a job that was so far from everything I loved and valued in life, I started noticing the men I was choosing and how they would fuel my anxiety by giving me scraps of love which I accepted and tolerated for years. I noticed the ‘friends’ who’s energy I felt off around, I noticed my vices, drinking alcohol even dabbling in drugs and smoking for release. In pausing I really got to see how my life was so far from love, and this distance manifested as anxiety as a signal for me to come back home to myself.
2) I stopped talking / obsessing over my anxiety. The more I read about it, spoke about it, the more it could live within me. I was feeding it each day the more I focused on it. I stopped giving anxiety my energy. I accepted it was there, and focused on feeling better.
3) I got help. I found a therapist I trusted and could understand me (it can take some time) and this was a game changer. I did a course of cognitive behavioural therapy for 3 months (which I privately extended to 9 months) and learnt all the ways my childhood wounds had been playing out in my adult life. I would choose men that would validate my belief that I was not worthy, something I believed as a child from my dad. There was a long list of old beliefs that I was playing out in my everyday life triggering my anxiety at every opportunity.
4) I moved my body, I did regular exercise, dancing, yoga, running, pilates, walking. In order to get that uncomfortable feeling out my stomach, it was crucial the energy in my body was being moved otherwise I was energetically stuck.
5) I learnt how to connect with my inner child, I found out what I needed, where I was neglecting myself, and this was huge for my anxiety relief. I read Susan Anderson for steps on how to do this.
6) I got new friends. I changed my circle, and with this my energy changed. I spent time with women who inspired me, educated me, lifted me up, and this took time. There were periods I had no friends but I knew it was more important to be alone than be around people who were not aligned with me, and my values.
7) I stopped dating unavailable men, as my self love and worth grew I was no longer interested in men that rejected or treated me like an option. I choose men who treated me as I desired, with respect, care, interest, love and affection. Hot and cold men held no place in my life and this helped shift ALOT of my anxiety as my father wound was a huge part of the anxiety I was feeling on a daily basis. A man ignoring me for 3 days would trigger severe anxiety until I heard back.
9) I choose a career and jobs in alignment with my truth. I said no to jobs not paying me enough, jobs with toxic teams. At interviews I learnt about the culture and asked questions to see if I was a good fit for me.
10) I poured into my passions and built my confidence, I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and proved my limiting beliefs wrong. I travelled alone, I learnt to enjoy my own company, I read books, attended retreats, listened to music that made me feel good, I helped other people, I switched off my phone.
All of the above was a huge process spanning over 10 years, it required time, energy, determination, heaps of self love and commitment, financial investment (self-funded), and an overwhelming desire to heal the parts of me that my anxiety was attached to.
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