solacemygame

lone wanderer. book lover. amateur artist. photo enthusiast. steady. sentimental. classic. i leave too many things unsaid.

[solacemygame]

Happy birthday to you and your mom… wishing you all the happiness.. i hope your hearts are full today..

[solacemygame]

still happiest when i was with you.. i hope you are doing great wherever you are..

[solacemygame]

it will always be you.

[solacemygame]

She asked me about my truth. And all i could think about was how much i love you. How much i still do. Sometimes, it is all the truth i know. I will always love you.

hate me for it if you will. This is my tragedy.

[solacemygame]

i still say good morning to you, you know.. or at least to the picture of you in my mind.. first thing in the morning when i wake up.. I don’t need to conjure you up, you are just always in my thoughts. With your easy laugh and smiling eyes.. i still hear the sound of your voice..

sometimes it gets unbearable.. this grief.. this missing someone while they are still alive..

i hope you slept well last night.. i hope you have a good day..

[solacemygame]

i miss you. :( i miss our conversations. I miss being able to laugh from the heart. I miss our connection. i miss making you laugh. I miss our witty banters and our comfortable silences.. I miss being genuinely happy with you. Because it was only with you i felt that way. I miss myself when i was with you..

i am still waiting for everything to make sense. I’m sorry.

i hope you are well. I hope you are happy.. always take care of yourself..

i will always love you..

[solacemygame]

hey! It’s me again. I know you’ll never read this so i’m not exactly bothering you, but the past days had been heavy. I know i should not be thinking about you anymore, but you’ve never really left my thoughts.. i hope you are doing alright.. i missed you a lot. Been thinking about our late night talks. Been looking at our pictures and the few clips i have of you just to hear your voice again. We were so happy then. I know i’ll never be as happy as i was than when we were together.. I miss hearing your voice and your laugh. I miss your smiling eyes.. it hurts that i’ll never see them again. I know you’d rather not remember me at all.. and I understand. i hope you are doing ok. I’m sure you are.. i wish i can still be there for you. To keep you company on your late nights when you have to finish a deadline, or to read something you’ve written. I’ll always be your number one fan with or without conversation. But i’m sure you have someone else now, to keep you company and to talk to at night.. i hope he gives you the love you deserve.. i know you’re happy now. And i should be happy for you.. i wish you all the happiness. You deserve it.

I know eventually i’ll have to stop looking back.. forgive me if I can’t just yet.. But i am getting there.. i will always love you..

[solacemygame]

i hope you are ok. I wish i can still be there for you. To listen to all that you have to say, and to all that you are feeling, so i can feel them with you. You can unload all your cares and i will bear them with you.. I wish i can read you again like my favorite book. To trace the lines of your smiles and frowns or just get lost in the depths of your eyes and the sound of your voice.. i wish i can still be there for you. Because i am still here for you.. i hope you are ok..

[solacemygame]

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A post shared by Whitney Hanson (@whitneyhansonpoetry)

”if my writing feels repetitive, you can now imagine how it feels in my head.. welcome to the ferris wheel that never ends, come run your fingers along the scars that never really heal, come sit in my exhaustion, come feel how i feel, come watch the same scenes play and rewind, play and rewind..”

@whitneyhansonpoetry on IG

[solacemygame]

My eyes are sore and heavy. I can’t remember a day when I don’t find myself breaking down at random times, heart heavy with the thought of you. i know i should have moved on by now. I am long dead and buried to you. but you have taken roots in my heart so intricately that it is impossible for me to extricate you from my life, even if i never see you again.. You were everything my heart wanted. And i am still in love with you. You are still in my every waking thought.. and still the last one i think of at night. Everything still leads back to you. But i know i am dead to you..

I no longer hope.. i have accepted the fact that you will never want to see or hear from me again.. but my heart will always mourn the loss of you. It will always seek you out in a crowd. Will always picture you beside me in every place i visit with your hand holding mine.. Like a flashback, a phantom memory of an alternate universe where we ended up together and we have worked things out. A picture of what could have been. And the love, oh the love will ever be felt.

i will always love you..

[solacemygame]

These past days had been heavy. Heavy with the thought of you. You have never really left my thoughts.. there is a hollow in my heart that only you can fill.. an ache borne of longing for a home i know i can’t return to. i guess i will always live with this emptiness. I miss you.. i’m sorry. I hope you are taking care of yourself..

[solacemygame]

“I miss you.. To say that doesn’t even begin to capture the despair your absence has brought me but i will cling to this weird version of grief because it’s all i have left of you, that and this ache that grows each time your name is murmured in my presence. My mother asks me what i really know of love & heartache and all i tell her is this: You will never not be loved by me, and i will never be loved by you..”

@maeswrites

[solacemygame]

Finished reading “The one that got away” by Charlotte Rixon. It was a painful read. My heart is heavy with the thought of you. Too many parallels. At least they get to reconcile at the end. I wish we had a better ending. But it seems you wish we never happened. :’(

i miss talking to you. About everything. I wonder if you still stay up late to the wee hours of the morning finishing up your writing. I wonder if you’ve found someone else to keep you company. You most probably have. I hope he makes you happy. He probably does. I miss your laugh. I miss making you laugh. I miss laughing with you.. I hope he always make you laugh. You deserve all happiness..

i know i’ll never be as happy as i was than when i was with you. I have resigned myself to this fact. But i deserve this. for all the pain i put you through. I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to lose you. I was also breaking my own heart when i chose to let go. At that time, i felt my feelings doesn’t matter anymore and i had to do what i had to do. And we both suffered for it. You more so. And i’m sorry. I’m sorry i was damaged and conflicted. But the lines between what is right or wrong has become blurry. Anyone will say i was right to let you go, given the circumstances, but why does it hurt so much? at what cost? :’( i lost the most precious person in my life. I deserve this pain.

i know you have moved on. I know you’re happy now. Perhaps happier than you’ve ever been with me. And you deserve it. I wish you all the happiness.. i pray everything will fall into place in your life.. i pray you get the love that you deserve.

i pray in time i learn to forgive myself. For what i have done to you. For what i have done to myself.

i will always love you.

[solacemygame]

the most painful thing i ever had to do to myself was to let you go. You will always be my love at first sight. My deepest love. The only one i know i was fully in love with.. Letting you go was my greatest regret..

i know i’ll never feel this way about anyone again.

[inanotherunivrse]

In another universe, I fought for you. I fought for our love. I never really listened to the people around us. In another universe, our love isn’t a sin, and the world isn’t cruel.

[solacemygame]

Hello.. how have you been? i hope you are doing well. I hope work’s fine and that you don’t get writer’s block and are able to meet your deadlines. I’m sure you always do. You’re awesome like that. Last minute come throughs. :’) i hope someone is always checking on you.. there probably is. I hope you’re eating well and drinking a lot of fluids. I hope you’re getting enough sleep. I hope your mom is well too. I wish i got to meet her.. i hope Bailey isn’t giving you headaches. I wish i was able to meet him too. But i know i’ll never get the chance now.. I’m sorry. :( i guess i just wanted to say i hope you’re always taking care of yourself.. you are always in my thoughts..

[solacemygame]

Always..