READ TAGS + RULES BEFORE INTERACTING. this is a private / selective multi muse roleplay blog feat. ๐๐๐๐ฎ๐๐จ. [ . . . ] inspiration for all muses are taken from a vast majority of existing medias as well as headcanon and the source. any work that is not mine, i will credit appropriately.
๐. understand that i have a life which sometimes leaves me away from tumblr for weeks. so very often i am on hiatus without mention, and i will not apologize for it. if this isn't something you can handle, then do not follow me. i mean it. i will go 8 months not answering your thread and pick it up like no time passed. if that isn't something you can handle, then do not follow me. i will not entertain guilt-tripping behavior.
๐๐. i don't always do follow for follow. if you're mutuals with one of my close friends then there is a much higher possibility.
๐๐๐. i do not practice exclusivity with people i hardly know. i am much more open to mains. however, i do not collect muses. if i am writing with a certain character already, i will not seek out other writers of this character.
๐๐. i love writing pre-established dynamics, often if someone sends in a ask before we have written, i will make my muse speak as if they know each other and we can fill the details in later. i will always ask if something is okay if i feel like it might be over stepping. i am okay with first meetings as well. i love writing shippy things, however i do not ship easily if we are not friends. i would like to actually have a friendship with the person i am shipping my muse with, that being said, i am perfectly okay with unrequited dynamics. on a side note, i do not do pre-established family dynamics unless we have plotted intensely.
๐. everything that i create here is mine unless i state otherwise. i understand being inspired by other writers, but i would appreciate it if you did not steal or copy anything from me.
๐๐. do not interact with me if you use AI in anyway to roleplay. i will block you.
๐๐๐. listen, if you follow me first and i follow back and you make absolutely no effort in trying to communicate with me and i find out you soft block me. i will hard block at this point to avoid accidentally following you again, because at this point you have shown me you have no interest and no desire to write with me, and i will give you the same energy back. so please do not attempt to follow me again or connect with me again on any of your other blogs either. like i mention before, i do not always do follow for follow, so if i follow you i have an interest in writing with you, however if you have read my rules you will know that work keeps me away from tumblr most of the time, so if you do not follow me with the intention of reaching out to me, then do not follow me at all. they'll be no hard feelings, but if you soft block after i follow you, then i will close further communications with you. i have no space for impatience, lack of communication or just bad energy.
he nodded along to jades words. his life before he came here had been hard. not just after the murder. both murders. but before โ heโd spent his life pushing his sadness down until it became anger; anger well hidden by a smile until it spilled over. he had scars on his knuckles from the fights. heโd broken relationships his own included; he felt guilty about paddy mostly. heโd left his little brother to go through the same cycle he did, he only hoped that naomi, wherever she was, would keep an eye on him. and if not her, someone. anyone. โ ta. โ he lifts the glass to jade.
he wished that his hands didnโt shake when he thought of it. he wished he were different โ but he wasnโt special in that accord, everyone wished they could change something or other about themselves. cook just hated every bit of himself that all the hate consumed him. he was buried beneath the sorrow that he carried with him. โ i donโt think i could if i tried. โ he said, breathing heavy. โ itโs not that interesting โ just stupid mistakes. โ crimes. โ and drugs. dealing. using, you name it. โ and running. so much running. even now, he was retreating into himself it showed by way of body language. both hands now holding his glass steady. โ have you everโฆ done something bad? like, really badโฆ โ
๐ฃ๐๐๐ ๐ก๐๐๐งโ๐ญ ๐๐ฑ๐ฉ๐๐๐ญ๐๐ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐๐ก ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ๐ข๐ฅ๐๐ง๐๐, ย ๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ก๐ ๐๐ข๐๐งโ๐ญ ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ ๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ก๐ ๐ฌ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐ก๐๐ฏ๐ ๐๐ฑ๐ฉ๐๐๐ญ๐๐.ย ๐ญ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ช๐ฎ๐ข๐๐ญ ๐๐ข๐ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ซ ๐ฃ๐๐๐, ย it was the weight of the words that loomed over their heads like dark clouds.ย tension of something that wanted to be said, ย but fear and anxiety twined around them like vines.ย jade was grateful for the brief broken silence by cookโs toast before drinking his liquor.ย jadeโs mouth pulled taut a crossed his face and he raised his glass as well and took a long drink, ย his face pulled into a grimace soon after.ย he would never get used to the taste of it.
โ really badโฆ โ jade repeated the words aloud and glanced up as if he could see his memories on the ceiling of the bar.ย jade had done plenty in his past, ย and that all felt like a lifetime ago.ย there were still memories competing in his mind for the spotlight, ย and he didnโt know which one would help ease cookโs mind.ย he was possibly the worst person to come to with these sorts of things, ย but he did like cook, ย so he wanted to help him in whatever way he could, ย โ i was in fact using before i got hereโi would still be using if i could.ย โ jade gave a dry laugh and shook his head, ย โ and the really bad thingโฆ well, ย it all depends on what level of really bad weโre talking about.ย โ jade looked to cook and gave a vague shrug, ย โ sounds to me like youโre being way too hard on yourself.ย โ jadeโs eyes softened a bit and he put a hand on cookโs shoulder, ย โ bad people donโt contemplate over the bad things theyโve done, ย just so you knowโwhich by that logic means you canโt be a bad person.ย โ
๐ฃ๐๐๐ ๐๐ข๐๐งโ๐ญ ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐๐ซ๐ ๐ ๐๐ญ๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐จ๐จ๐ค, ย ๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ก๐ ๐ฐ๐๐ง๐ญ๐๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ค๐๐๐ฉ ๐ญ๐ซ๐ฒ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ข๐ง ๐๐๐ฌ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐ข๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ญ๐ข๐ฆ๐ ๐๐ข๐๐งโ๐ญ ๐ ๐๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก.ย he took another long drink of his liquor, ย finishing it and putting it back on to the counter, ย โ you canโt let your decisions of your past dictate who you are in the futureโi mean look at me.ย i was a big shot, ย right? now, ย i am holed up here trying to figure out a puzzle that doesnโt make any fucking sense.ย โ jade glanced back to cook and took a deep breath to reel himself back before he went on a pointless rant about his frustrations regarding their situation.ย now wasnโt the time.ย โ my point is, ย cookโฆ you arenโt a bad person for whatever it was that you did.ย no matter what it was.ย โ jade made sure to empathize that point, ย because it was true to jade.ย he wouldnโt care no matter what cook said he had done, ย he had no right to judge someone of their past when he could not even come to terms with his present.
โ my brother has a girlfriend that neither me or my family have ever metโฆ yet we hear all these stories about her. โ portia blew out air and shook her head, โ i think sheโs definitely not wanting to meet us and probably only has bad intentions with nicky. โ portia shrugged then leaned over to cook , โ do you have any family? i donโt think i ever asked. โ @griefhaunt
โ i feel like you never said what your story was. ย โ fatima canted her head as she looked at him. ย she almost regretted asking when she saw the way he seemed to retreat inside himselfย ,ย ย โ you can tell me when youโre comfortableย ,ย ย donโt worryโฆ and no judgement from me. ย โ fatima smiled and put a hand on his arm for reassuranceย ,ย ย โ no rushโฆ sometimes small talk ends up being a little too deep for some peopleย ,ย ย but i donโt want to pry on anything you donโt want to tell me. ย โย
โ thankfullyย ,ย ย they didnโt scratch too deep and you got out of there on time. ย โ kristi finished wrapping the bandages around cookโs chest and gave his arm a light pat. ย โ i will need you to stay here for a couple of daysย ,ย ย just so i can make sure it doesnโt get infectedย ,ย ย and alsoโฆ you need to get rest. ย โ kristi knew cook wasnโt likely to sit still regardless of the doctors ordersย ,ย ย but she would still try to issue themย ,ย ย โ do you want some meds for the pain? โย
โ ย you're ย alive... ย oh ย my ย god.ย โ ย kristi ย wrapped ย patrick ย in ย a ย tight ย embrace, ย tears ย pricked ย her ย eyes. ย she ย felt ย him ย struggling ย against ย her, ย and ย she ย knew ย it ย was ย simply ย because ย he ย was ย not ย used ย to ย this ย sort ย of ย behavior ย from ย her, ย โ ย i ย thought... ย โ ย kristi ย took ย in ย a ย deep ย breath ย and ย felt ย it ย hitch ย in ย her ย throat. ย she ย frowned ย and ย felt ย hot ย tears ย start ย to ย stream ย down ย her ย face, ย โย i'm ย sorry, ย i ย just... ย i ย thought ย the ย worst ย for ย you...ย after ย hearing ย about ย everyone ย else... ย โ ย kristi ย had ย been ย overwhelmed ย with ย guilt ย when ย she ย heard ย what ย happened. ย she ย had ย wished ย there ย was ย someway ย she ย could ย have ย been ย there. ย her ย heart ย ached ย for ย those ย who ย were ย lost, ย and ย for ย those ย she ย thought ย she ย lost.
๐ก๐ ๐ก๐๐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ก๐ข๐ฆ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐ ๐ฅ๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ง๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐ฎ๐ง๐๐๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฆ๐จ๐จ๐ง,ย ย ๐๐ญ๐ก๐๐ง ๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐จ๐ง๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ ๐ซ๐๐ฆ๐๐ฆ๐๐๐ซ ๐๐ข๐ญ๐ฌ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฌ๐ง๐ข๐ฉ๐ฉ๐๐ญ๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ก๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐๐ง๐๐ ๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ๐จ๐ค ๐จ๐ฏ๐๐ซ.ย he was grateful that he discovered that he was immune to the infection,ย ย because the beast went rampant and made contact with so much blood. ย his eyes were still closed and he felt around his body and realized he would need to pull a change of clothes from his camp and find another change for when it happened again. ย he opened his eyes to the blonde man standing curiously over him. ย ethan wondered if he looked like one of those things right now.
โ you need something from me? โ ethan groaned and shifted up to a siting position. ย he looked over the man and gave a vague wave to him,ย ย โ i havenโt seen uninfected people in a long timeโฆ whatโs your story? โ he felt caution set in him. ย he was never sure how people would react,ย ย and right now he was very vulnerable,ย ย โ you got a name? mineโs ethan. โ he decided against his last nameโsurnames were irrelevant now in this dying world.
โ no one believes me. ย no oneโฆ this baby feels wrong,ย ย and theyโre something here,ย ย even if their machines canโt see it. โ fatima felt overwhelmed by the violence she felt inside her,ย ย and the sorrow mixing and shifting into one thing. ย she wanted someone to see her and stop this from happening,ย ย but the reliance on technology and itโs accuracy made her look insane. ย if not a baby,ย ย then there was something worse growing inside of her and she wanted to rip it out,ย ย โ i donโt want to dieโฆ but i donโt want this thing inside of me any longer. โ fatimaโs eyes were wet with unshed tears,ย ย she was trying so hard to be strong,ย ย to be someone who could smile through the shadows,ย ย but the darkness was not through with her,ย ย โ can you help me?โฆ help me get rid of it? โ
โ weโve all sort of tried to make this feel as normal as possibleโฆ it helps with those who arenโt mentally strong enough,ย ย you know? โ fatima sat by the edge of the lake near colony house that they called โbrundlesโ,ย ย she smiled as she watched people jumping in and laughing with each other,ย ย โ so have you decided where youโre going to stay yet? or does that decision belong to someone else with you? โ fatima canted her head,ย ย a smile still on her face,ย ย โ donna would welcome you all to our big happy family if you chose to stay at colony house. โ
โ believe it or not,ย ย but iโve started sobering up. โ jade made a gesture to the counter of full bottles of clear liquid,ย ย seemingly untouched. ย โ the taste has started to make me sick,ย ย so unless someone comes up with a new flavor,ย ย i think iโm off of itโfor now. โ jade smiled briefly and small laugh slipped,ย ย โ truthfully,ย ย iโve just been so focused lately. ย i donโt have time to wallow now that things have started to become more dangerous here. โ jade took a seat at the counter and shook his head,ย ย โ i feel terrible for tabitha and her kidsโฆ i wish i could have stopped jim from wandering off by himselfโฆ โ tabithaโs words echoed inside his head and he frowned,ย ย โ he didnโt deserve to die. โ jade lowered his head,ย ย and suddenly felt himself wanting a drink after all.
โ youโre here. โ sara approached the small shed that was on the outskirts of town with caution. ย she had a backpack on her shoulders that had very few items she would need to survive for as long as she could handle it,ย ย โ i thought you were a hallucination or just something my mind made up so i didnโt feel so lonelyโฆ but youโre not. โ sara took a few cautious steps forward before stopping altogether,ย ย โ i thought that if you lived out her and away from town,ย ย there must be other places that are safeโฆ i canโt be there anymore. โ
โ itโs youโฆ the man with the golden mask. โ sara took a few steps forward; she was mindful of the dangers that her presented to her,ย ย so she would need to convince him of her usefulness quickly before he decided that she was better off as another crater in the ground. ย โ amelie spoke to me,ย ย she told me to find youโshe wants me to aid you. ย my dooms allows me to see premonitions of the future. ย she said this would be helpful for you. โ it was hard to know if her words were making sense to him or edging her closer to her doom,ย ย โ she said that i should stay in a shelter that you have access too and try to make a connection with the bridges team sent out to connect america and make it whole again. โย
โ thanks for coming to visit. โ sara smiled warmly,ย ย she was always happy to have him nearby. ย it wasnโt just because he kept everyone from giving her dirty looks,ย ย but beneath the harder exterior was a poet. ย when sara had been down and thought about ending her life to save herself from all the guilt,ย ย hurt,ย ย shame and defeat,ย ย paddy had come to her and shown her that she was not as alone as she felt. ย he hadnโt even known how much of an impact he had on her life,ย ย โ i wanted to ask you something,ย ย and i promise itโs nothing sappy or weird. โ she giggled at the look of wonder and how it came about crossed on his face,ย ย โ i wanted to know if you would live here with me,ย ย in town. โ she felt hopeful that he would accept,ย ย but she also knew how much he hated some of the folks in town,ย ย but it couldnโt be as bad as colony house was at times.
โ i think i just decided to embrace the fact that everyone thinks iโm terrifying. โ sara sat with her mug between her hands and gave a vague shrug,ย ย โ iโm only doing what i think we need to do to surviveโฆ and at least now,ย ย no one thinks i was just crazy. โ sara frowned,ย ย the memory of her brother would never fade away from her mind. ย even now,ย ย after so much had happened,ย ย she wished that was the one thing she could undo,ย ย โ i never wanted to kill nathan,ย ย and in never wanted to kill ethanโฆ but,ย ย i was willing to do those hard things in order to get homeโฆ iโฆ i donโt think everyone else can say the same. โ sara looked up to buck,ย ย quite surprised by her own boldness,ย ย but she felt safe in this space. ย buck had never been critical of the hard tasks needed to be done in order to get home. ย in fact,ย ย he understood her more than anyone had ever tried to.ย ย ย
โ sorry about the mess. โ jade said aloud as he heard someone enter the bar,ย ย which he had assumed was patrick,ย ย but he still stole a glance towards the doorway just to be sure. ย โ it was a visual for the tunnels,ย ย to help us find the childrenโs bones. โ jade slumped into one of the booths and sighed,ย ย โ boyd really doesnโt want any risksโฆ he wants to get everyone home. โ jade scooted to make room for patrick,ย ย โ and i understand,ย ย i doโฆ but what if weโre doing too much coddling? โ jade knew he should have no say in who goes down to find the childrenโs bones,ย ย because chances were he wasnโt going on the missionโbut perhaps if he volunteered,ย ย then maybe boyd would take him more seriously,ย ย โ what if i went to get the bones? it was my visionโฆ i feel anxious about it being wrongโฆ โwhat if iโm wrong? โ all of the rejection from boyd was making jade start to feel doubtful of what his mind was trying to communicate with him.
โ heyโฆ sorry about last night. โ kristi leaned against the door that he had propped open,ย ย โ marielle and i just had a disagreement about something,ย ย i didnโt mean to get so loud. โ kristi sighed deeply and started to walk inside and checked for his permission,ย ย โ do you mind? โ when randall didnโt decline,ย ย kristi walked inside and sat on one of the chairs. ย another sigh escaped,ย ย โ things havenโt been the same for usโฆ and she keeps pulling away every time i try to just listen to her,ย ย and nudge her to open up about what happenedโฆย โย
