If only I make it one more night

24 | PROUD SOLDIER | NYC GAL _______________________ Hey there! The name is Danielle Anna Harper, serving in The US army and currently based somewhere in the middle east. Biographies aren’t really my thing, but I’m a New York City gal all the way through. Born and bred. I’m a pretty friendly person, though I do know how to use a gun so there’s nothing to be afraid of. Also if you’re here to peep or creep, I don’t care – feel free to do both or neither. Whateves. Hit me up if you need to get your ask on!

[soldierharper]

SO IT BEGINS || DANTANA

[santanabackhome]

Dani,

I hope 2015 is the year we get to meet. Maybe even skype or something if you could get the chance or are allowed to wherever you are. It’d be nice to put a face to the person I’ve been writing to for the last few months. But don’t do anything that’ll make your Sergeant put you on patrol or anything. I’d rather you not get shot anymore.

New Years was great. I went to a party with my coworkers that was near Times Square because my parents left a few days before, and it was close enough to feel like we were part of the parties in the streets there without actually having to go and fight the crowds. Not even ashamed to say that I got way too drunk and was completely hungover for the whole day after. It was worth it though. I might have been wishing you were there so we could party together You should’ve been there.

I’m about halfway moved into my new apartment, and I’ll definitely be sending you some pictures after I’m done getting everything situated and decorated. It’s honestly amazing. The old apartment just felt like a place I was living in, but this is starting to feel like home. Plus I don’t feel like I’m gonna get mugged or broken into at 2am anymore, so that’s a good thing. 

I have to cut this one a little short, since I’m probably gonna be late to work dropping this letter off at the post office. So hopefully I’ll hear from you soon? How was your New Years, by the way? 

Santana.

[soldierharper]

Santana,

I like to believe that it will be. And I can promise you right now that you’ll be able to have a real conversation with me within our next few letters. We got ourselves a new phone, and since I’ve never had to use it for anything, I have a phone privilege now. So.. If you want to try and actually speak to me, instead of looking at my messed up handwriting, you should attach your number to the next letter and I’ll call as soon as I possibly can. And regarding the face thing, I’ll try to see if some of my friends back home can get me a picture I can send you, I won’t promise anything though. And I’ll also look into the Skype-stuff, because you deserve to see my face as well.

I don’t doubt that I should have, and I would have too if I could. I hope you know that. And I don’t even blame you, because my worst hangovers have always been on the first of January. It’s International Hangover Day, really. My New Years was okay, we got drunk and had some good dinner and stuff, played some poker (which I of course won), and that was about it. Nothing too fancy or anything.

That sounds pretty damn amazing, and I can’t wait to see the pictures. I’m really glad that you took my advice, because it makes me feel a little better to know that you’re safe. Because yes, I worry about you.

I hope your boss didn’t get mad at you, in case you were late.

Can’t wait to hear your voice,

Dani.

[soldierharper]

Ooc: OMG WHEN ARE THEY GONNA MEET!

OOC; Well….. It wouldn’t be any fun if we told you, now would it? But think of it like this - Dani’s away at God knows where, so it’s not like they’ll just bump into each other all of a sudden. I’ll leave you with that, but thank you for reading along nonners!

All of the love!

[soldierharper]

SO IT BEGINS || DANTANA

[santanabackhome]

Dani,

Why is it that I feel like I have to scold you about being shot and to be more careful, even though that probably wouldn’t help anyway, since you’re in a freaking war zone. Reading that last part of your letter definitely made me stop breathing for a second when you told me you got shot. I guess talking to you makes it feel like that type of thing wouldn’t ever happen because you’re sort of my friend? I don’t know, it’s hard to explain. Like, that type of thing doesn’t happen to people you know, it only happens in movies, you know? It’s weird when it becomes real.

I did have a pretty awesome Christmas. My parents surprised me and came to visit me in the city, instead of me coming to see them. And you’ll probably be happy to know that I took your advice and went to go see that loft that your friend was selling. I took my dad with me because he likes to help me with that sort of thing, and he actually helped me with buying this first apartment, and after we talked about money and my jobs, I’m pretty sure I’m getting a new apartment. So thank you. I honestly would still be in the ghetto if it wasn’t for you.

I’m glad that I could make you smile when you were having a shitty day. Was it the day you got shot? And wow, you’re just boosting my ego here, talking about how I saved you and everything. I knew I was awesome, but not that awesome ;). I’m just really glad you’re okay and semi-safe, considering you’re still… wherever you are. And I hope your Christmas was okay too. 

Santana.

[soldierharper]

Santana,

Because you care? Maybe? I don’t know? But yeah.. It probably wouldn’t help so much, plus my Sargent would laugh at my face if I told him that I couldn’t be out in the field, because my.. what are we? Pen-pals? Anyway, he would just laugh and put me on patrol within the blink of an eye. I’m sorry for giving you a minor heart attack, but no need to worry I’m all good and still alive. I did think about not telling you, but I felt like you deserved to know. I hope I’m not just ‘sort of’ your friend, because even if we’re thousands of miles apart, and haven’t ever met, I feel… I don’t know.. Connected? Maybe connected isn’t the right word. I really don’t know.. But yeah, I get the thing about the movie deal and stuff, my friends said the same the first time I went away.

I’m happy to hear that you got to spend Christmas with your family, it must have been lovely. You did? Santana, that’s amazing! I knew you’d love it, and I’m so happy that you can move out of that hellhole and be somewhere you can feel safe. Because I swear, that place is one of the safest neighborhoods in the US. Not that I know it or anything, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was like.. on the top ten or something.

It wasn’t the day I got shot, but the following one. Christmas Eve, actually. I kinda missed home, you know? Missed.. someone. Anyone. I love these guys, they’re my guys, but.. It’s not the same. And it’s not that I feel left out or anything, because I think I’m even more popular among them than I would have been at a work-place, but.. I just feel.. Lonely? I don’t know. And sorry for writing ‘I don’t know’ so many times in this letter, I honestly don’t know why I keep typing it. Or why I just did it again. One day I’ll tell you where I am, I promise. One day.

I hope your New Year’s Eve will be amazing, because you deserve it. Maybe 2015 will be the year we get to meet? Who knows?

Dani.

[soldierharper]

SO IT BEGINS || DANTANA

[santanabackhome]

Dani,

Wow. You honestly don’t have to pull any favors for me, but it’s great that you’d even offer that. I’m not sure if I’d want to move yet, but maybe it’ll happen, and if it does, then I’ll give your friend a call. I think I’ll wait a little while until I know for sure that the landlady is or isn’t going to do something about the security in the building before I make any decisions.

Gaydar doesn’t actually work through letters, so I can understand how you would’ve made that mistake. It’s okay though, I didn’t think you were gay either when we first started talking. And your parents don’t deserve to be part of your life if they reacted like that. Maybe I’m just biased because of how my parents reacted to me coming out, but I just don’t think you should’ve been kicked out because they found out who you really are. 

You don’t sound like a creep, Dani. I told you I was kidding about that like, four letters ago :). Plus, as much as we’ve been writing together, I think it’s obviously the next step for this, for us to meet I mean. Your letters are pretty much the highlight of my day, whenever I get them in the day. It’s pretty boring around here, besides my apartment getting broken into and all.

Be safe while you’re moving. I’m not sure what that really involves, or if there’ll be shooting or bombs or something, I’m just going off of what I’ve seen in war movies. But be safe.

Santana.

[soldierharper]

Santana,

I might not have to, but I want to. I don’t want you to live somewhere you’re not safe, and having six locks on your door tells me that it’s not the nicest surroundings either. Even if you don’t know if you’d want to move yet, then try to go and look at the loft. It’s a completely reasonable size and so is the price. I just don’t want anything to happen to you, so please go and at least check it out.

Nope, it doesn’t so I’m glad you understand why I was a bit confused at first. I’m glad you were lucky enough to have respectful and understanding parents.

I’m glad I haven’t managed to make you pack away your papers and pen, yet. And I really hope that you’ll still want to see me when I finally return. But as already mentioned, I have no idea of when that will be. You just made me smile despite having a shitty ass day, so thank you for that.

Yeah.. We had to move from one place to another, and in the process we have to both drive, sometimes fly, but we can also end up on patrols when we’re about to reach our destination – to make sure that there are only civilians and nothing more. I really did my best to stay safe, I promise but I ended up getting a little shot anyway. The bullet only brushed my shoulder so it’s nothing major, but it still hurt like hell. All of the guys made it out alive though, so there’s no need to worry. I just felt like you deserved to know and stuff, since I blame you for keeping me somewhat safe. I’ve never been the superstitious type, but I kept that picture you gave me in my pocket on my left side, the side where I also got shot. And I’d like to believe that the bullet only brushed me because of your photo. Wow.. It’s not until I actually write it that I realize how stupid it sounds.

I hope you had an amazing Christmas and that you haven’t been waiting for this for too long.

Waiting on your letter,

Dani. 

[soldierharper]

SO IT BEGINS || DANTANA

[santanabackhome]

Dani,

I’m currently writing you this from one of my friend’s apartments because I don’t feel safe in my own apartment currently. I knew I lived in kind of a shitty neighborhood, but I didn’t really think that people would be able to break down the door, even with it having 6 sets of locks on the inside of it. Whoever broke in didn’t steal anything very valuable… just some of my better blankets and some food. I don’t keep any money in the apartment, so there’s no way they’d have stolen any of that, so the police are guessing that it was just some homeless people or squatters trying to get warm and eat or something. Either way, I’m staying here for a little while until I get my door replaced and a better alarm system is put into my building by my landlady. Also, don’t worry about me. I’m safe and not hurt or anything, just in case you were worrying. Wow that sounded really dumb, like you worry about me. I’m just some chick you’re pen pals with. I mean, I wasn’t in the apartment when it happened, so nothing bad happened except for the actual crime. 

Yeah, I’m a huge lesbian living in NYC. Seems kind of stereotypical, but that’s the truth. Why wouldn’t you have guessed that I was gay? Although, my parent’s didn’t guess that I was gay either, no matter how much I invited my best friend over for homework study dates where our homework never actually got done. So maybe I’m just not that obvious. I’m sorry that you don’t want to be close with your parents anymore. They must’ve really fucked you over when you told them for you to never want them in your life ever again.

Yeah, I’m all for meeting new people, especially if we keep writing back and forth like this for however long it takes you to get your ass back here. OH! Pictures from Central Park and snow. Be jealous.

Santana.

[soldierharper]

Santana,

I’m really, really sorry to hear that someone broke into your apartment and that it has caused you to not feel safe in your own home. It’s not right in anyway, even if all they took were some blankets and food. I’m glad to hear that one of your friend’s opened up their home to you, and I really wish there were something I could do. And don’t think that I won’t worry, because I don’t want you to feel unsafe in your own home. The one place where you should be able to feel safe, no matter what. If you want an apartment a better, safer place, then let me know okay? Because I have a few friends around town that owes me some favors. One of them owns some lofts in Brooklyn, I don’t know if it’d be something you would be interested in, but his name is Christopher Warden, in case you want to try and look at it? Just tell him that I sent you and I’m sure he’ll give you a fair price. Something bad happened, Santana. They took away your feeling of safety, and that is not right.

Like me being in the army isn’t stereotypical? I know what you mean, though. I don’t know, I of course haven’t watched you in person which might would have triggered my gaydar. You picture just didn’t strike me as being gayish? No offense of course. Those study dates sounds a lot like those I used to have with my chem partner, I guess it’s a thing? I didn’t even have a chance to tell them.. They found me making out with said chem partner in our basement; they kicked me out before I had a chance to even talk to them. My father gave me an hour to pack my stuff and that was it. They’re dead to me, really. Sorry for ruining the mood.

Really? Like, you don’t have to or anything. I just think it would be nice, you know? Oh God I sound like a desperate creep or something… I’m sorry. And I hope that we’ll continue these letters, they kind of give me something to look forward to. We’re going to move our base in a couple of days, so if it will be long before you get my next letter, don’t dare to think that I’ve forgotten about you. Central Park is gorgeous… I envy you like crazy and wish I could be there right now.

Will do my best to give you another letter as soon as possible,

D.

[soldierharper]

SO IT BEGINS || DANTANA

[santanabackhome]

Dani,

Calling would definitely work better for my type of sarcasm. That way you might be able to hear it better and I don’t cause you to have a panic attack for a whole day.

Sorry about your parents. That’s a sucky reason to not be talking to you anymore. Have you tried getting back in touch with them to see if they’ve maybe changed their view on things? I came out to my parents when I was 16, but they were all mushy about it and told me they’d love me no matter what and all that good stuff. And I’m not too worried about the friends that stopped talking to me when I moved. It just shows me that they’re fake bitches and I don’t need them. 

It sucks that you’re gonna be gone for that long. I honestly don’t know if I’d be able to stay away from home for so long, but I guess I thought that about moving away from my parent’s house in the beginning and I got over it. Oh, and I planned a trip to central park with a few of my friends here so you should expect some pictures soon of the awesome snow there. 

I’m sorry this letter’s so short. I’m working a few extra shifts this week, so I’m writing this right before work. But I promise next time it’ll be better.

Santana

[soldierharper]

Santana,

I think it would be a lot easier, yes, but I have no clue of how to get permission to use our phone. I know some of the guys have called home a couple of times before, but how they’ve been allowed I don’t know. If it’s something you’d want to try, then I’ll look into it for you? For us? I don’t know what to call it.

No need to feel sorry, they don’t mean anything to me anymore. They haven’t for quite some time. I know that they tried to reach out to me once before. I received a letter, and the address marked on the back was theirs. I never opened it, but send it straight back to them. They’re no longer a part of my life, and they never will be again. They had their chance seven years ago, they don’t even deserve another. You’re gay? Or bi, even. I did not see that one coming, I must admit. But I’m glad they took it okay, or more like supremely well? You shouldn’t be, they don’t deserve your attention, Santana. Not even one bit.

I guess, but at the same time I’m doing something important for our country and it’s all worth it in the end. Maybe when I come home, we could meet up? I know there’s seven months left, if not even more, but maybe? That trip sounds amazing, and I can’t wait to see the pictures.

It’s all okay, I hope there wasn’t too many douche-bags at work. Until next time,

Dani.

[soldierharper]

SO IT BEGINS || DANTANA

[santanabackhome]

Dani,

Oh my god. I should really keep the sarcasm and joking to a minimum if we continue to talk through letters. I’m sorry for scaring you. I guess I use sarcasm a lot daily and forgot that it doesn’t transfer over into written form so well. 

I’m sorry you and your family aren’t close anymore. Is it too much to ask why? You can just feel free to not answer that question if it’s hard to talk about or something. I won’t mind at all. But I get what you mean about friends not talking to you as much because you aren’t there. When I moved to the city, I lost about half of my group of friends from my hometown. For some, it was because they just got busy with their own lives, but for a lot of them, it was just because they only wanted to be friends if I was there to add to some status on facebook or a picture on instagram, and once I was gone, I wasn’t useful to them anymore. I get it.

That sucks you won’t get any snow there. Are you going to have to stay wherever you are for very long? I’d try to send you some snow in a care package, but I’m pretty sure it would melt before it even got to you. I haven’t been able to get down to Central Park lately, or I would’ve taken some pictures there too. I’m sure it looks amazing with the snow covering it.

Until next time,

Santana. (Your sarcastic bitch from the city)

[soldierharper]

Santana,

Never keep the joking to a minimum. Just try not to give me a heart attack the next time, please. And I hope we’ll continue, maybe I’ll even be able to call you at some point. Sarcasm can be a bitch and end up causing you so much trouble when you try to transfer it.

There’s nothing to be sorry about, they’re a couple of D-bags if anything. It’s never too much to ask why. I’m gay, if the solder-thing wasn’t already kind of giving that away considering people’s way of making stereotypes. Anyway, they found me making out with a girl in the basement when I was younger and all hell broke loose. So I grabbed my guitar and never looked back. It sucks that so many of your ‘friends’ stopped talking to you after you moved, but look on the bright side. At least you know that they’re only ‘friends’ and not true friends you would want to hold on to.

Yeah, I’d really love it if I could just have a snowball fight or something like it. There might always be next year, depending on whether or not I’m home by then. I’m not really sure when I’ll be back, to be honest. I just extended my contract, so I’m going to be here for at least seven more months. It depends on a lot of things, actually. If my entire team decides to stay for longer, then I would look really fucking bad if I didn’t extend as well. It probably would melt before you even shipped it, but it’s the thought that counts. No need to rush anywhere for my sake, just remember that. I’m sure it looks stunning, too. And I envy you so much for being able to see it.

Counting the days until the mail-man arrives again,

Dani. (The one who doesn’t believe that you’re a bitch)

[soldierharper]

SO IT BEGINS || DANTANA

[santanabackhome]

Dani,

Wow, you’re such a creep.

Just kidding. Definitely totally kidding. Wow I probably shouldn’t have tried to be sarcastic because the tone doesn’t really come across well in writing. I feel like an idiot for not actually including a picture in the first place, but I’ll send you one along with this letter. And I’ll probably send you a few of the fresh snow that we keep getting. 

My family and I are really close. We try to call or skype with each other at least once every week, less if we’re busy, but you get the picture. They were kind of against me moving here to the city, so they’re always making sure that I’m okay here and not homeless or sick or something. It was a little annoying at first, but I’ve learned to love it. Does your family know where you are and send you letters too?

I’m guessing that you don’t get very much snow where you are. Why can’t you tell me where you are? Are you actually in the CIA and not really in the army? Are you a spy… I have to admit, that’d be pretty freaking awesome if you were a spy. 

Until next time,

Santana 

[ATTACHED PHOTOS]

[soldierharper]

Santana,

I don’t think you realize how freaked I was when I read that first line. In a second you managed to freak me out so much, that I put away your letter, went for a run, and didn’t read it until later that same night. So please, try to behave just a little, kay? Even if it’s not in your nature. That was me trying to be sassy I think, it’s been a while. You aren’t an idiot, it’s just different to send mail than something online. I mean, we’re so used to finding out everything about each other online, so I think this is pretty special actually.

Skype is amazing isn’t it? One of the guys’ wife gave birth to a baby girl the other day, and he saw her tiny little face for the first time through a screen. It shouldn’t have been that way, not at all, but life’s not always fair I guess. About my family.. I don’t speak to my parents any longer, haven’t for seven years. I do get a few letters every once in a while from my friends back in NYC, but that’s about it. It’s surprising how you can mean the world to someone while you’re with them, but nothing once you leave, right?

I don’t get any snow at all, and I’m sorry to disappoint you – but I’m not from the CIA. No matter how cool that’d be. I’m somewhere in the Middle East, and all I know is that I’m not allowed to tell you more. Simply because it could be dangerous or something, I don’t really know. But I definitely won’t put you in danger, so let’s settle for the ME, shall we?

Man.. Those pictures got me too emotional; I miss that city so freaking much. And I see that I wasn’t wrong about you either. You’re gorgeous.

Waiting on your letter,

Dani. (Your creep from the ME)

[soldierharper]

SO IT BEGINS || DANTANA

[santanabackhome]

Dani,

I don’t care how long your letters get. You could probably write 10 pages to me and I’d read it all. 

I wasn’t able to go home this year for Thanksgiving. Money issues and all that fun stuff. But I skyped with my parents and they said that they had a small family dinner between the two of them, so it wasn’t like I missed much. I got a turkey breast from the store since I’m not about to eat a whole turkey by myself, no matter how sad I get. 

Christmas will be better, I think. Even at my lowest, that time of year seems to cheer me up, even just a little bit. It snowed last night. I should’ve taken some pictures so I could’ve sent them to you with this letter, but it looked so quiet and amazing outside when it first happened. It was about 2am so there was no one outside to leave their footprints in it, or make it all turn gray by driving through it. 

I don’t care what you tell me about, but I can understand you not wanting to have to talk about what goes on wherever you are when you’re writing to me. Especially since you have to be exposed to it nonstop.

By the way, would I be able to send care packages to you?

Santana.

[soldierharper]

Santana,

I probably could, yes. I wouldn’t want to bother you though, so I probably won’t. Just the fact that I got someone from the real world to talk to, helps me in ways you can’t imagine.

I’m really sorry that you couldn’t afford going back home to be with your family, are you close with them? I figure you are, since it would be strange to want to go back if you weren’t. I hope that made some kind of sense, and my army brain hasn’t kicked in too much, yet. A turkey breast is a turkey breast, that’s what counts, right?

Christmas will be amazing. And I don’t think you can even imagine how much you made me smile by mentioning snow. It’s pretty hard to imagine it, considering where I am, but I don’t judge you for not sending a picture. I’m sure it was too beautiful to even try to capture in a photograph. I wish I could have seen it. I’ve always had a thing for snow, and it’s only grown stronger as I’ve gotten older. Not that I should be allowed to say stuff like that since I’m only 24, but still.

It’s not so much the fact that I don’t want to talk about it; I just don’t want the problems down here, to be the only thing these letters are about. I’d rather hear about your plans for what I’m sure will be an amazing Christmas. About the care packages, then yes. I received the first one you send, so I can’t image why I wouldn’t be able to receive another. Without this sounding really creepy, and I’m really sorry if it does, but do you think you could possibly add a picture of yourself? Yeah.. that sounded creepy. I promise to keep it away from the guys and stuff, but I’d just like to put a face to your words, if that makes any sense? Unfortunately I won’t be able to give you one back, but it would be nice with a familiar face.

Feeling like a creep until I get your next letter,

Dani.

[soldierharper]

SO IT BEGINS || DANTANA

[santanabackhome]

Dani,

Have you ever gone to the Thanksgiving Day Parade? I’m only asking because Thanksgiving is a few days away and I guess I’m weird about wanting to know all about you. That’s what pen pals do, right? 

A lot of people don’t seem to realize that even though this city is huge and alive and always moving, that it can actually be one of the loneliest places on the planet. Everyone’s so closed off, and granted, so am I most of the time, but I’m not used to a billion more “me’s” walking around me and ignoring me. 

In a lot of ways you’re right about my job. I’m behind the bar, having to produce things for ungrateful, asshole customers, and there’s usually orders being yelled at me from a boss that doesn’t even work with us. He just sits back in his office and counts his money. I wouldn’t say I enjoy it; there’s a few good nights where things go great and I make amazing tips and customers aren’t as douchey as normal, but I’d say that happens about once a week. It’s just a job to have so I don’t lose my apartment.

Even if you are smaller than them, use that to your advantage. If they forget you’re there, make them remember that you are by winning all their money over and over again. Be the baddest bitch there and soon, no one will forget it.

Waiting on your letter,

Santana

[soldierharper]

Santana,

I used to go there with my ‘rents when I was younger. I’m an only child, so it was always just me and them. As I grew older, things had changed, so I’ve never been all that crazy about Thanksgiving as a grown-up. I used to sneak into one of the buildings close to the parade, to watch it all from above but that’s about it. Thanksgiving here wasn’t the best, but we had a lot of fun and got drunk as fuck. So I guess it was pretty decent. What about you? And yeah, I guess that’s what pen pals do. Or whatever to call us.

NYC is tough, it’s colder than you would first assume but I don’t doubt that you’ll still make it. Even if it all seems unbearable right now. If they ignore you, then they aren’t worth of your attention. And I don’t doubt that more people notice you than you believe.

You don’t deserve to be treated that way. Not one single bit. I hope it will get better, and that Christmas will be something you can look forward to. I think Christmas is what I miss the most. I envy you like crazy to be honest. New York covered in a small white blanket, all of the millions of lights and just.. It’s amazing. I had this spot in Central Perk I used to go to, it was beautiful.

It’s not hard to become the baddest bitch, when you’re the only woman but believe me I’m doing my best. It’s quite the advantage to be small in combat, but I won’t go into details about that one. Too much heavy stuff, I guess.

These letters only keep getting longer and I honestly can’t stop writing once I start. I hope you’re doing okay and that this didn’t take too long to get to you.

Dani.

[soldierharper]

SO IT BEGINS || DANTANA

[santanabackhome]

Dani,

I just felt like saying that I was lonely would’ve seemed selfish coming from me, who’s here in a city with a million people, while you’re off in god know’s where with the same people you see every day. It just seemed a little weird, but I’m glad you can see why I might be. The fact that you’re actually from NYC and not just another immigrant like half the population here is really cool. I bet you got to do New Years Eve in Time Square pretty much every year.

I can get what you mean. I’d probably join something like the peace corps or something if I didn’t hate change or even if I was just more comfortable getting out of my comfort zone. And you’re only half wrong about my job, by the way. I definitely don’t want to do it for the rest of my life, but I don’t work behind a desk. I’m a barista during the day and a bartender at night, living the typical paycheck to paycheck life. And before you even ask me, I’m not exactly sure what I want to do with my life. I’m just sort of living it a day at a time.

You can play poker? And win without cheating? What are you, some kind of god or something? I suck at poker. And I’m sure those guys are thanking me in some cosmic way that I’m letting them keep their money for however long it takes you to write your letter back to me.

Santana.

[soldierharper]

Santana,

just because you’re surrounded by people, it does not mean that you aren’t allowed to feel lonely. We’re like some kind of strange family here, which I’d wish I could tell you where is. We are bound together by what we do and we got each other’s backs. I’ve done the Times Square thing a couple of times, but I prefer small gatherings. Always have, always will. Not that I don’t like partying, but I prefer intimacy.

Damn it. Here I thought I handn’t lost my ability to read people. In some way I was right, though. A desk or a bar? There’s not that much of a difference, right? I should at least get some brownie points. I bartended for a couple of years when I was younger, so I see why you would enjoy it. You don’t need to know what you want with life, in order to live it. So there’s no need to worry.

Sapphic goddess, yes, poker goddess? Not really. I guess they just tend to forget I’m there, you know? Since I’m half their size and easily hides behind them. They keep annoying me actually, as they want me to turn off my light. They can kiss my ass, because I’m not going to do it before I’m done. Which I guess I am now.Take care until next time, Santana.

Dani.

[soldierharper]

SO IT BEGINS || DANTANA

[santanabackhome]

Dani,

I didn’t think I’d get a letter back so soon, honestly. 

The reason why I chose to start writing to you is because… I guess I’m lonely. Wow that sounds horrible and selfish when I actually wrote it out, but it’s true. I’ve been kind of in a bad mood for a few years now, and it’s because I moved to New York to start my life and it hasn’t actually started yet. One of my coworkers suggested I take up a pen pal, or someone new to talk to just so I wasn’t doing the same thing over and over again, so I asked the local recruitment office here if they had anyone that I could write to. 

So I guess I’ll start with the obvious. Why did you choose to go into the army? 

That should be easy enough for now, and I don’t want to take up too much of your time, just in case you’re busy wherever you are. I hope to hear back from you soon.

Santana Lopez.

[soldierharper]

Santana,

being lonely is never something you should feel selfish about. Never. So please don’t ever think so about yourself. It’s impressive that you aren’t ashamed of admitting it, and to a complete stranger that is, which tells me that you’re a strong person. I’m envying you for being in that city, because I miss it like crazy. I’m born and bred in NYC and you can take the girl out of the city, but you can’t take the city out of the girl – that much I know. That coworker of yours sounds pretty smart, so give him/her credit.

Why did I join the army.. I think I’ve always been impressed by their work and the fact that they, or maybe I should call it we, try to make the world a better place. We don’t fight just to fight, but to make sure that peace will be created. At least I like to think so. Let’s just say that a lot of stuff happened to me and the army was my wake up call. So what about you? What does a Santana Lopez from my lovely city do? I have an idea of you being behind a desk, but it’s not really what you want with your life. Excuse me if I’m wrong, but I just had an idea and had to take the shot.

You can’t take up too much of my time, since it’s either writing this to you – or beating some of the guys in poker. And they aren’t all that happy about me winning their money all the time. So thank you for preventing my ass from being kicked, after I cheat and steal all of their money.

I don’t actually cheat. My humor is weird. Sorry.

Dani Harper.

[soldierharper]

SO IT BEGINS || DANTANA

Dear Hi I don’t think Hello Santana.

I honestly don’t have any idea of when or how you managed to send this to me, but I am more grateful than I can put into words. It is not often that someone takes time out of their life, to do something as special as you’ve done for me. So thank you. Even if I don’t feel like those words are enough, even if they probably never will be, I still feel the need to write them and let you know that I received your care package together with your letter.

I’m still not sure of why or how you found me, what your motives behind all of this might be. But I hope that it must have been out of the goodness of your heart, or something along those lines. I don’t have a lot of time on my hands these days, but I still feel like you deserved some kind of answer for your kindness. Any kind of answer. As already mentioned, I have no idea of when, or if, you’ll even receive this, just know that I’m really grateful for what you have done and that I’d love to thank you some day. Maybe. If that didn’t sound weird.

Dani Harper.