sicc nasty brah

romancing the fine line between insanity and poeticism for 24 years and counting

[consecuences]

[infected]

Miguel Carbonell Selva (1854-1896) - Death of Sappho, 1881

[solemn-stardust]

I’d rather have you think I’m vile and boring and dumb than to be in love with you and have you just be lukewarm about me.

I’d rather believe you hate me than to let myself fall in love with you and then find out you don’t feel the same way.

I’d rather be hated than unloved.

[solemn-stardust]

at 17 I made out with a boy bc he rapped the fast part of “rap god” flawlessly

at 23 I let a man fingerblast me in a parking garage against the hood of his car bc he looked like a vampire

it’s called evolution sweetie <3

[solemn-stardust]

boys r dumb all my homies hate boys

[solemn-stardust]

in others news id love to get railed rn

[dikotur]

[solemn-stardust]

boys r dumb all my homies hate boys

[specialopz]

[disease-deactivated20210414]

Aleksandra Waliszewska

[memewhore]

[state-of-nature-blog]

me to me: you stress me out

[solemn-stardust]

“yeah I’m gonna not drink or do any drugs for a few days :)”

*consumes so much caffeine that I get chest pains and throw up*

[caucasianmale]

[soulofthebloodofthewolf-deactiv]

honestly missionaries are evil. the idea of traveling the world to tell people Who Didnt Fucking Ask that their beliefs are wrong in the hopes that theyll adopt your beliefs seems sinister

[kittyinhighheels]

The Christians in the notes whining are so absolutely stupid

[ajunlost]

I don’t even want to talk about how they specifically target poor people and hold basic necessities over their heads in exchange for faith.

[cowboymalewife]

“I read about an [Inuit] hunter who asked the local missionary priest, ‘If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?’ ‘No,’ said the priest, ‘Not if you did not know.’

‘Then why,’ asked the [Inuit] earnestly, ‘did you tell me?” -Annie Dillard

(edited to remove slurs/dated language)

[bullydyke-deactivated20210902]

My culture and our religious practices (Inuit) have been decimated by Christianity and I fucking hate pretending its a neutral thing.

[piya-re]

Christians in the notes still don’t get it. They’re saying that missionaries aren’t that bad bc they’re just trying to save all ppl and they’ve started quoting bible verses and whatnot but here’s the thing: I. Don’t. Believe. In. That. Like your beliefs and scriptures are non applicable to me (and everyone else who isn’t Christian, or at least abrahamic) bc we’re not christian and I literally don’t care if you think we “need to be saved from Satan” or smg bc frankly, it’s not your business and that “well meaning, innocent” intention is still forcing your religion onto us. OP is right. Missionaries are evil. Leave other religions tf alone.

[wiisagi-maiingan]

One half of my family is Native Christians via forced conversion.

The other half is white Christians, including missionaries.

I can tell you that missionaries don’t just invalidate other religions (mainly indigenous religions) to try to convert people, they blatantly hold valuable resources hostage to convert people.

They’ll provide books to communities with low literacy rates… but all the books are bibles or otherwise Christian-centric.

They’ll host free meals for the whole community… but the people have to attend a church sermon before they’re allowed to have food.

They’ll host events and groups for kids… but all the education and activities are about Christianity.

Missionaries blatantly take advantage of scared and vulnerable communities, who are like that because of Christian colonialism, to forcefully convert them and kill off their religions and cultures.

[lifewithchronicpain]

And then christians feel offended when you don’t say “merry Christmas”

[solemn-stardust]

April 2018-December 2019 (last 7 pics being within the last 5 months.)

The first pic is from late April of 2018, the second is from about a quarter of the way through May of 2018, and the third is from late May of 2018. In my final months of high school, I relapsed harder than I ever had, and I thought it was the most instense relapse I’d ever have.

I got a lot better in January of 2019, but last semester gave me a relapse that damn near killed me.

I’ve been teetering back and forth about posting this for a long time. Every NEDA I think that it would be a good time to post something about my struggles with disordered eating. I’ve become a lot more open and honest about it (and at points have straight up done a cry for help,) but it never really feels like the right time. Maybe it’s something that I should keep to myself, but I worry that doing that will only fuel my constant invalidation to myself that I don’t need help because I’m “really not that sick.” I haven’t had a BMI low enough to fall into an anorexic bracket since 2013, I don’t fit the mold of the skeletal textbook pictures of eating disorders we were shown in middle school, I can still go out to restaurants and pretend to have a good time, I sometimes have weekends where I eat whatever I want and don’t weigh myself 3x a day like I usually do (only to end up starving myself for days after to make up for it.) I use these facts to invalidate myself and my therapist, but at the end of the day, the harsh reality is that I have an eating disorder (OSFED).

I’ve ALWAYS had struggles with my eating, but the past 2 years are the worst it’s ever been. If I keep invalidating myself and comparing “how sick” I am to others who do fit the mold we all think of when we think of ED, all I’m doing is invalidating others who go through the same struggles I do. I’m even invalidating those who DO fit the stereotypical mold of someone with ED.

If you are currently struggling with an eating disorder, regardless of your BMI, your diagnosis, how visible it is that you’re living with ED, just know that you are heard. You are heard. I care about you. You are valid, and I’m so so sorry that you’re going through this. There IS a light at the end of this tunnel, and we’ll get there 💛

[solemn-stardust]

girly u were anorexic

[must-to-be-perfect]

[danger]

via weheartit