Sometimes I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear

And I can't help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear take the wheel and steer

[solemninsomniac]

Tommy Verona ~ Moodboard

[solemninsomniac]

darkestofwynters:

“I, uh… I didn’t speak, sorry…”

Tom instantly recognized the girl as the one he had bumped into in the hallway. Even then she had seemed this quiet, not that he was thinking it a bad thing. "Actually...maybe it's just upstairs." He spoke more so to himself.

[solemninsomniac]

ghostofyoshi:

“Oh, I didn’t uh —- I didn’t say anything.”

"I thought you..." There was a pause as he considered what he'd heard. A real noise or just his sleep deprived imagination? "My bad, sorry."

[solemninsomniac]

"What was that...?"

[solemninsomniac]

tayenantonio:

Her brown eyes stayed focused on Tommy as he swam closer to her. By now, her breathing was starting to slow down, and her intakes became more regular. Tayen could feel the adrenaline starting to leave her body and that wasn’t a particular feeling she wanted to feel at that moment. Still, with a smile beaming on her face, the girl gently splashed some water with the palm of her hand. “Wouldn’t you have an unfair advantage?” The question left her lips as she arched her brow in question.

Though without waiting for a response, yet again, Tayen jumped on top of Tommy, dragging him underwater with her. If that was another thing they were going to do, there was no way he should’ve had time to prepare. Taking both of his hands into hers. She curved her legs to her chest, hoping that it would help her, and them, stay down longer. This times her eyes stayed opened, watching her friend from under the water. The feeling of adrenaline started to kick in again, though it was of a different kind this time. The longer she stayed under, the more it felt that her lungs started to expand and blood started to heat up inside of her, as if the water around them was boiling up. The feeling of a struggle, a battle that her muscle was starting to fight, was creeping in. But Tayen didn’t move. Her eyes stayed on Tommy’s as her lips curved into a smile, letting out some of the oxygen she was holding in. If I don’t faint, I don’t die. She mouthed to him.

He turned his face to the side in a failed attempt to dodge her splash. The droplets ran down his cheek and he wanted to shrug, even wanted to pull a playful face at her question, but didn't. Instead he concentrated on staying afloat, but she had a fair point. Technically he could drown himself, right? Then come back. But he wasn't talking about either of them dying. It still would hurt him to push the limits. A good hurt. "Well there's that--"

His agreement got cut short as she flung herself on him. Gravity had them consumed by water and with his mouth open he fought to not cave the challenge so quickly. Oh, Tayen--gotta enjoy her methods. He felt the intense burn in his chest already, but he held onto her hands as if the tighter he could the longer he could stay under. His eyes stung from thr chlorine, but he blinked and kept watching her. The water caused her hair to slowly fan out and now he could feel his back skim the bottom of the pool. What little oxygen he had managed to store before she surprised him was slowly let out. He only caught bits and pieces of what she was trying to say, his eyes prickling as if his surroundings were growing darker. Being the one to suggest the little game, he didn't want to lose. But the pain tightening in his torso made him grit his teeth and his arms almost flailed with a mind of their own.

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[solemninsomniac]

tayenantonio:

As soon as she pushed off the roof, Tayen felt breathless. Everything that was always so clear and vivid was lost, leaving only vague colours to grasp if one really concentrated. But there was no reason to think. The quick air brushing her cheeks created, for a split second, the feeling of flying and falling at the same time. It was as if there were two things for her to choose from. One was flying, which could lead into the so called light. And the other was falling, in realisation as of what was happening. Yet, of course, there wasn’t time to choose and her body chose for her. As if it was programmed to fight.

Next, she felt her body slammed into something hard, almost like concrete, only to be swallowed up by in in the next millisecond. Tayen felt the icy touch of water creeping up from her toes, all the way to the very end of her head. Her heart started to thump in her chest as the realisation that she had reached the water settled into her head. And even though every fibre of her body was craving more oxygen, she stretched her arms out, fighting to stay in the sensation as long as she possibly could.

It wasn’t long before her body’s need for oxygen won. Tayen swam back to the surface of the water and took in the biggest gulp of air she could master. Her whole body was tingling with pleasure, fear, angst. It felt as if it could, her body would turn inside out, taking in life as it came. Letting out a laugh, she spotted Tommy and stretched out her arms at him. “ Well that was fucking awesome.” There was nothing else she could think to say, just that she wanted to do it again. Be even higher. It felt like the rush of heroine moving around in her bloodstream, telling her she needs more. That there is no way, or reason, to stop.

Seeing that she was still in one piece allowed him to fully accept the next wave of euphoria. You can say that again. But instead of voicing his thoughts, he exhaled the way someone does after taking a hit from a needed cancer stick. The exhale was a way to cleanse his system and latch onto the remaining adrenaline from their jump. His gaze turned to the roof, amazed that they once again risked it all and pulled it off, more so Tayen than himself. The cool water was just beginning to smooth from their splash and Tom turned onto his back to float. "I wouldn't mind doing that again." Not too many times, in order to avoid burning out the feeling it created, but it had been wildly fun.

He was drifting closer while stretched out, occasionally moving his arms to keep him up. It was the drenched clothes that still fought to pull him under again. It might have been a distrubing thought, but there was something he liked about the pressure of that possibility--the weight of the water and how tired his limbs were, even while relaxed. He got another thrill by treading that dangerous line between living and sinking away from oxygen. "I bet," He began, turning to face her now. "I can hold my breath longer than you can."

[solemninsomniac]

tayenantonio:

The adrenaline was the only the only thing that had kept her alive, herself, all those years. Constantly, Tayen had memories playing through her mind. From when her own mother brought her to the foster home. Leaving a helpless child with strangers. Then later, people who were supposed to her for her, looking like she was a helpless cause. Every time she would walk by, maybe deciding that this day was the day she would become more human again, she’d hear the whispers behind her back. Oh look at that poor little reject. No one will take her like this. She is just not worth it. Those words rang in hear ears for many years but for different reasons. It was why she became different, stronger. Strong enough to be on her own.

Now, as Tayen walked to the very end, the very tip of the roof and looked down, she finally started to feel what she was craving for. As mall amount of sweat started to form on her forehead, the feeling of sharp, tingling goosebumps on her arms and especially her scalp. Her breathing felt constricted, as if there was a huge weight on her chest. It felt like she was experiencing dizziness, some kind of mild vertigo. It was moments like these where she didn’t need to feel anything other than her heartbeat. The brunette knew how some ghosts looked at her sometimes. Like she had this whole life ahead of her. That she needed to live her life fully. But for her, risking everything was the true meaning of living.

Turning her head back to Tommy, she smiled. She caught his almost smile. “Would we even be what we are now if we didn’t do things together?” She asked, and without any warning, taking Tommy’s hand, jumped, not aiming towards anything.

As he waited a beat for her to respond, he felt a surge of impatience. As if they were about to stick needles in their arms and shoot up, he couldn't wait. He could taste the wind wanting to beckon him over the ledge, feel his pulse steadily increase, and suddenly felt weightless. There was no headache, no sore eyes, no memories clawing at the inside of his skull, and...no Ali. Just this moment. This moment with Tayen. A deeply selfish moment that pushed out all else the way that nothing ever could. It was the very reason he had become addicted to these antics.

Time froze for several seconds when she spoke. He looked at her, a pang striking his chest for what they were about to do. It was that slight jolt that reminded him he was taking a stupid chance to injure himself, or worse. But wasn't that the up side to already being dead? Testing extremities. Just like that, Tayen pulled him to reality in the best way possible. Without a countdown, just open air. All he could do was inhale as gravity took it's course. Tom could feel her with him, sharing the thrill, and his legs kicked out on their own without the support of something below. The drop suddenly seemed too short because he could hear the splash they created, which quickly became muffled as the water consumed him. The impact was the first thing he felt. The gigantic slap against water that had him shutting his eyes and made his skin burn. As soon as he was under, his legs had curled instinctively, a small attempt to not hurt them had he tragically crashed or moronically hit the shallow end.

But he had made it in one piece. Tommy's mistake was not getting a good breath before hitting the cold water. With his heart wanting to burst from his torso and unable to think straight other than knowing they hadn't missed the pool and splatted, the heaviness that returned all at once wasn't strictly mental. It was the clothes he had on creating the illusion of being dragged down. He needed air, which made him swim to the surface as if it'll make the shock clearer. He gasped for breath, his arms clumsily splashing as his chest heaved. They might as well have been thrown into ice cold water, at least that's how it felt--the adrenaline. Blinking the droplets from his eyes, he held onto the rush and even wanted to laugh, to let out any sound because the elation was bursting like the sun through drawn curtains. "Oh my..." Ignoring the lingering sting from initial impact, he floated since it was the best way to catch his breath. Only then did he realize he had let go of the brunette's hand. "Tay?" He couldn't remember when it had happened, when they hit or when he swam up. Now his gaze sought for her, but not necessarily in a panic. The ghost was still stunned in bliss.

[solemninsomniac]

tayenantonio:

She was used to the silence that hovered around them most of the time. It didn’t bother her, in fact there were times she welcomed it more than anything else in the world. Maybe it was something from the past that stayed with her. Being excluded from the groups. Shaking the thoughts, Tayen took a deep breath. Why the fuck are you thinking about this. Again. A growl escaped her lips, as her hand curved around some wooden thing that was in her way. She was clenching it so hard she could almost feel the wood pieces sticking into her palm.

“Walking on the roof?” She repeated his words as she glanced back at him. “Come on, Tommy. You can do better.” Releasing the pressure from around her hand she walk up straight to the window and shoved it open. There was no help needed. Leaning her body out from the window, she stepped out into the side of the roof and started climbing to the top of it. “I say we jump.” She stated, while waiting for her friend to get up there with her. “ I mean there’s a pool down there, and all we have to do is aim straight at it.” Just the thought of jumping that high made hear heart jump. It might have been a crazy thought, but it was definitely the one to have at that precise moment.

His silence was accompanied with her own, not that he minded. It gave room for him to think and listen; he could pratically hear the wheels in her head turning with all the options they had. And she was right, he could do better. Ninety percent of the time he would be indifferent to the outcome, but that ten percent left over would sometimes slip through his mind like poison. They bonded in not being careful, in being risky. Sometimes he couldn't help that protective nerve though, the tiny voice at the back of his head reminding him an afterlife here would be an unfortunate one for her. He wouldn't have chose it himself.

It was important to consider how fragile being human was, but right now, especially when she spiced up his simple idea, he wanted nothing more than to focus about the high he craved. Tom had reached the landing of the attic and was out the window as soon as his companion was making her way up. He felt awakened with her spontaneity and knew this was not only what he needed, but what she needed as well. To suggest such a move hinted at her current mindset. Then again, something internally must be going on to be an andrenaline junkie. He was all too eager to get up there now, almost losing his footing in the process. Ghosting next to her would've made it easier, but the shortcut would defeat the purpose. His breathing was already a bit labored, stomach flopping, as he positioned himself to sit beside her; however, a moment later he was slowly moving to stand at the dangerous height. "And aim for the deep end." He mused, which was all the confirmation that he was for the plan. He took a look down and felt his heart leap into his throat. There was a cool breeze that was refreshing while up there and he could see no students lingering about the backyard. No one to watch the show. He glanced at her, a rare smile wanting to make an appearance, though he subconsciously covered it up with licking his lips. "Ladies first or...together?"

[solemninsomniac]

tayenantonio:

The wheels in her head were already turning as they started to leave the kitchen. There has do be something they still haven’t done. “We could always summon ghosts?” She said, turning her head back to look at him and flashed him her white teeth. Tayen never minded the fact that Tommy was so blunt, or not cheerful enough. She wasn’t one to judge. The fact was that they accepted each other the way they were. There was no need to be someone they were not, and that was perfect. “Why don’t we head to the roof first? “ Not waiting for his answer, the brunette was already heading for the stairs. As they reached the doors to the attic, she jumped up to get the stairs up from the ceiling. It almost seemed like a scene from some horror movie. But there were no spider webs, no dolls creeping from the upstairs, no weird sounds.

There were times Tayen expected something unrealistic to happen. There wasn’t an explanation for it. Just the feeling of something shocking her, something that made her feel surprised. These days every day felt like a routine, with no purpose what so ever. It was the reason why she liked doing anything that made her blood rush with Tommy. “If you’ve got ideas, feel free to hit me up.” Another smile tugged at her lips as she started to climb the stairs.

A brow quirked at her propsal. Was that supposed to be funny? Perhaps he would've laughed, but instead he shook his head. Summoning ghosts might seem thrilling to outsiders, but being one took that adrenaline away before any ritual could start. Besides...there was nothing--no one--interesting to summon, unless they were looking for trouble. And no, Tommy would not have anything to do with bringing in a malicious spirit, especially with Tayen in the same room. He had nothing to lose, whereas she still had her life to gamble.

The roof? There was an idea. He wasn't opposed to it, but remained silent nonetheless. Leaning his shoulder against the wall, he briefly waited while she pulled down the ladder. He could've stepped in, but the brunette took matters into her own hands. Besides, he didn't want to offend her by lending a hand when she proved she was capable of doing things herself. "How about walking across the top of the roof?" It was his first thought, reminding him of those balance beams Ali could never do at the playground he took her to. The difference was if they fell, well, it would be quite a drop to the lawn.

[solemninsomniac]

owleyedolivia:

Olivia nodded at the boy’s silent okay, trying to quietly open the bags and pull out the items at a quick rate, not wanting to bother him. Once everything was out, she began finding all the stuff she needed to cook; a tall pot, a cutting board, a large spoon, a knife, a spatula, and skillet. The witch set down the cookware on top of the stove and the board and utensils on the counter top before making her way to the pantry. The bracelets on her delicate wrists clanged together as she pulled out a few seasoning bottles, her blue eyes stopping at the sight of her silver tin, filled with tea bags. She grabbed that as well before making her way out, setting the items down on the counter.

Olivia opened up the tin and eyed the contents, pausing to look up at the tired spirit. ”… Do you like tea?“ She asked hesitantly, hoping she wasn’t bothering him. "I have sleepytime, earl grey, some others, too, if you’re interested.”

He considered up and leaving her to cook without his watchful eyes, but quickly decided against it. At least he could pass time here before drifting to a different section of the house and doing things all over again. Not concealing the way his gaze moved with her around to the different cabinets, like a mini scavenger hunt for each item, he only got stopped by the sight of the knife. It locked his attention, what with it's innocent disguise as something to make food with. Just like a snap of someone's fingers, Tom found an uneasiness creeping up like an invisible fog.

His opposite finally broke his concentration with her question. It was only then that he realized she had stopped walking around. Tea was one of the very few things he actually loved. By default, that meant he would never admit it to a soul. It was the type of personal fact he kept under wraps, but he could always phrase it differently. His brown hues were fueld with intensity with one glance back at the knife laying on the counter top. Yes...tea would help. "I can make some." He abruptly declared, lowly while standing from his spot at the table. "Is lemon okay?" It was his tea of preference, not that he usually made it from one of the bags in the tin she held.

[solemninsomniac]

tayenantonio:

“Well, have you thought about buying one of those pillow things?” She asked, taking another sip of her water. “ You know, the ones that go around your neck, and are supposed to make you feel more comfortable? “ Shrugging her shoulders. Tayen put the water bottle down on the table and smiled. It was easy to be herself around Tom, cheeky, maybe less protective of the world around her. It was nice. “How many have you tried so far? “ Her eyebrow arched in question. Hearing the last words out of his mouth, Tay narrowed her eyes at him. “Maybe I have, what is it to you?” Jumping off the chair she walked towards him. “ Come on, now since I found you, and you’re not sleeping anymore…Not that you ever are…” The girl grinned at him as she pushed him gently with her shoulders. Her body was still shiny from the sweat and her heart was beating fast. Pitting on her most sophisticated voice, Tay straightened her features as she looked into her friends eyes. “ Tommy Verona, would you do me the honours of risking my life today? “

It was beyond him to buy a fancy pillow for it to be like the rest. With his luck, it would make his dilemma worse. "I haven't. Maybe I'll get around to it." Instead of shutting the idea down, which he had done mentally to avoid any minor, possible persisted dispute, he left it open. The option floated around with the other few he had while being trapped on the property, coated by an indifference that would keep him from prodding the idea unless Tayen made a point in making it seem necessary. How many, she asked? Hm, there was the kitchen, the bathroom, the attic, more than one hallway... "A fair few." Simple Tom was, and to the point. A man of few words, or a bore to some. Somehow Tayen had stuck around--still does hang with him. He normally didn't care what others thought or when they left, but now he couldn't make sense of whether he liked her company. He certainly was never bothered by it, but it was like pulling an arm and leg from him to admit anything he enjoyed. Only giving a lazy shrug in response, his nose briefly wrinkled at the sound of his full name, though more to the five year old sounding Tommy. But he knew what was coming. Even as fatigued as he was, he hoped for it. A pick-me-up was long overdue. "I thought you'd never ask." Though his feet wanted to resist, he was already standing and taking a moment to stretch out his stiff muscles. To an outsider the hint to their hobby might be something to awkwardly chuckle at. Little did anyone know, they were deadly serious.

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[solemninsomniac]

tayenantonio:

Running. Running was one of the only things that Tayen religiously did every day, no matter what time. Sometimes she ran twice a day. It always depended on her mood. It was the only thing that made her feel numb. Sometimes, when waking up after dreaming memories of the past, she’d jump out of bed filled with the need to run. It soon became like an itch, something she needed to do constantly. Today was one of those days, so when she came back into the house her clothes were drenched in sweat. Checking the time, a small growl escaped her mouth. She’d been running for three hours.

Entering the kitchen, Tayen straight away noticed Tommy. Though this time it was obvious he was asleep. Good. He needed whatever time he could get. Slowly, she moved over to the fridge and started to make a sandwich, though stopping mid way, her lips formed a frown and she threw it away. She wasn’t hungry. Grabbing a water bottle instead, she sat opposite Tom and watched him start to come back to life. “So.” She started, taking a sip from the water bottle. “ How comfortable is the kitchen for naps? Do I need to change rooms?” A grin spread across her face.

Tayen. He found himself unable to sit with that internal grumpiness for long since it was her. She had welcomed herself to the empty spot across from him, making him again wonder how long he'd been out and how long she'd been there. "Sure, if you like waking up numb and with a kink in your neck." This chair and table wasn't a five star hotel, but he didn't want to be mistaken for complaining about dozing off here. "Actually...it's the odd places that are easier to fall asleep in, so..." Running a hand through his hair and leaving it there, elbow now propped up on the table and the side of his head resting against his palm, he took in her sticky appearance. "Been to a sauna lately?" For someone who was serious, his sense of humor occasionally kicked in. It just lacked a smile and had a monotone quality to it.

[solemninsomniac]

darkestofwynters:

It was as if all of the smaller girls vocabulary had vanished, and now she stood there, in front of the other being, mouth open just agape as she just couldn’t seem to find the words to apologize a million times due to just how embarrassed the curly haired spirit was. “I, um, n-no, it-it’s fine. I’m just.. a little jumpy, is all.” Wynter let out a soft, nervous, and awkward chuckle before letting it fade quickly.

The more he stood there in awkward agony, the more he realized this girl might have a tougher time with social interactions than himself. "That's understandable." People who weren't jumpy were somewhat suspicious, maybe even the type to be avoided. One could never be too careful within the confinement of these walls.

[solemninsomniac]

owleyedolivia:

Olivia shuffled into the room, the rustle of grocery bags echoing alongside her steps. While the house had been decently stocked with foods, the witch couldn’t decide on what she wanted to eat. So, instead of making food from what was in the pantry or going out to lunch by herself, she decided to cook - not one of her strongest suits, but she figured following a recipe from an article titled, Easy Summer Recipes! wouldn’t be difficult.

However, as she set the groceries onto the countertop, Liv noticed the guy at the table - ghost, she could tell, and a tired one, judging from the bruised-hue of the circles around his eyes. “Sorry,” she murmurred softly, offering him a soft grin. She started opening one of the bags, but the loud, crinkling sound from the plastic made her stop. “Is it okay if I cook in here?” The witch asked, head tilting lightly to the side. “You can have some of it, too, if you’d like."

The rustling bags were wanting to make him clamp his hands over his ears. Sounding louder than they were to the sleep deprived male, Tom momentarily buried his face back into the solitude of his arms. If only he could silence the world now. There was no use pretending there was hope to catch more sleep, so he looked up again.

Resting his chin atop his wrist, he could tell none of it was intentional. He gave a small shake of his head as a silent it's okay. The smile wasn't returned. These days it felt like his muscles were incapable of offering such a simple thing to anyone. Nodding to her first question since it wasn't his kitchen, he stifled a yawn. The offer came unexpected and was automatically declined, this time with his actual voice. "No, thank you." He wasn't hungry, not that he would've accepted had he been.