Some people can really change your life, they know you more than you know yourself. They bring out your laughter, they make you feel at peace. They bring out sides of yourself — you thought you lost. They show you the importance of self-love and care. Their presence removes hurt as soon as they enter the room. They do this effortlessly. Without a doubt. Without knowing the positive impact they have on your feelings. They bring out sun in the middle of the rain.
I can’t even begin to articulate how I feel right now, because I have never lost anyone this close to home. I just saw you.....I feel like I swallowed a rollercoaster of emotions and it’s lodged between my heart, wanting to neglect everything and dwell in my solitude. Hoping that it will bring that good stuff that grows from it. I feel regret for not spending more time with you... Guilt, for not being able to be there to save you. Uneasy, that your family won’t able to see or hug you again. Most of all, as a mother a tremendous sadness that Josey won’t be able to cradle in his mommy’s arms, and tell her he loves her.
I also feel fortunate , to be touched by your energy + essence. You had this serene calm humility , poised and assertive; as if you had seen + experienced this world many times over before. Your soul was seasoned with so many layers of Bona Fide energy, and no matter what the circumstances were, you always prevailed. It was an undeniable confidence. Our friendship felt so familiar, as if we had been in an amalgamation of our past lives through + through. I feel more alive because of you; you unfolded my eyes to so many moments I would normally take to be insignificant, because you took your time. You always moved in a pace that made me want to slow down to see what you were seeing. I keep trying replay every memory of you, so I can store it securely in my heart. You loved a good adventure as much as I did, your need for it was like a helium-filled balloon that wanted to be untethered. I think that’s why our friendship was so vibrant from the beginning, you wanted more; to absorb, to experience, to evolve, to create — to be put in between the cosmos!! You were so naturally vulnerable , and permissible. You let me create and never doubted me,and it was such a beautiful feeling; Really. You put your trust in me unconditionally , knowing that I would never fail you. I love you my beautiful sweet angel Naya. I know you loved any body of water , whether it was the ocean, a river, a waterfall or lake. It’s ironic that you would lay fragments of your soul to float there. You loved Josey, Nickayla + your family wholeheartedly, I know this because you radiated their energy. You were born to be Mother, it was something that filled your heart and you would do anything for your baby. I promise to remind the world of you thru the images we took + share the bits you left behind with Josey. Till we meet again, I love you to the moon and back. 🤸🏾♀️🤍
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