It’s 1:13PM and I’m laying in bed after a morning of movies with my black cat Harper. My mind has been running a mile a minute so I decided to purge these thoughts so that hopefully, I can take this nap I’ve been trying to take for about 39 minutes.
This past week so much has happened. I won’t even get into a lot of it because it is a moot point. Once again I have not found what I am looking for lifestyle wise. But I have seen something so disturbing that it has changed my view on whether or not I am even going to go any further with it.
A young lady lost her life trying to set up a scene with a Dom. It was discussed on social via Facebook. But what I have found to be very disturbing is that instead of people having a heart for the young lady, they are blaming her for her own demise. The total lack of empathy for me was heartbreaking.
What I have come to realize is that people in the lifestyle care more about protecting the lifestyle, rather than the people in it. Yes there are red flags and common sense but what ever happened to caring about humanity? It’s s shame that we have become so consumed with satisfying our kinks that we have lost basic human compassion.
As a woman I find it even more concerning that most of the people who were berating the young lady were women. She could have been any one of us. There is no 100% fool proof method of protecting ourselves in this lifestyle. So to bring up what she “should’ve” done is totally insensitive and cold hearted to say the least.
I am left to question some of the people who I respected and revered for their years of experience in the lifestyle. I’m now even considering just leaving it as a whole and if I am lucky to find someone to share my life with romantically, they will share some of the same wants and desires as I do.
All I can do is continue to be me and distance myself from such people because if they lack the compassion for a complete stranger then I know they have none for me. This lifestyle is one where your safety is at risk and a burden to bear alone.
That is such a harsh reality to deal with but in this world, it is the only one that will keep you safe. I live to love and protect me and those who I hold dear. I am an empath and it’s impossible for me not to have a love for humanity.
Precious by Esperanza Spaulding
“Love me or leave me but please don’t deceive me
And say you love me how I am
You love the way I fit some ideal
Not the real woman you’ve yet to understand
See, love ain’t all heaven, and I am no angel
You always wanted something more from my body
And said you needed something more from my loving
But all you got was me and that’s all that I can be
I’m sorry if it let you down
Now it’s no nice excuse but all the magic was used
Some kind of tame, flattering persona
That soon enough was getting real old
It takes more than pressure to change rock to diamond
Slipping through your fingers
You always wanted something more from my body
And said you needed something more from my loving
But all you got was me and that’s all that I can be
I’m sorry if it let you down
But I’m not gonna sit around
And waste my precious divine energy
Trying to explain and being ashamed
Of things you think are wrong with me
And waste my precious divine energy
Trying to explain and being ashamed
Of what you think is wrong with me…”
Today is October 31, 2017 and these are my sub confessions…
baratheonpilled
jacobvanloon
discoholicmusic
theartofmadeline
stormborns
tangentwithtanner
izzy806
titsay
yousharknotpass
germansingergirl
romaincrisis
