Trust no one. @solsburyrain - Tumblr Blog

“good Christian honk” sounds like a euphemism

I was talking about this, or something similar with other non-married friends a while back. We discussed that if we’d married young we wouldn’t have been mature enough for it. It’s not that we weren’t mature in many ways, but long term relationships are a big commitment; marriage even more so. Perhaps if we’d met the right people for long enough, we might have been, but the way things went? Yeah, it’s for the best that we didn’t marry. And in most cases the partners we had then were totally not compatible. And we’ve all changed a lot since then. I don’t know anyone who regrets that they didn’t marry their partner from their early 20s. I do know people who got married when they were young, and some of them are getting divorced - that’s just the way things are. It’s OK to be with someone and then realise that you’ve changed and are no longer compatible. There should be no shame or stigma to divorce - on the contrary it’s almost always a very responsible decision that makes people happier. And some people lucked out and found someone great that they were compatble with early on in their lives. But even then, most of my friends who met their partner young dated for quite a long time (5+) years before engagement. The problem is, a lot of people still feel a pressure to marry ASAP. It’s still expected to a degree in many communities. I read columns etc about human lives, relationships etc, and the number of times young people write in (especially young women) being like “I’m 21, my boyfriend is 22, we’ve been together for 6 months/1 year, why isn’t he proposing yet?”, as if marriage is some kind of race you HAVE to achieve ASAP when you’ve been with someone tolerable. Often there’s a really good reason why things are not moving super fast like life circumstances that need to be addressed (studies, work, finances, long distance etc) - and the difficulty arises because one half of the couple isn’t paying attention to the needs of the other half to go more slowly. And a lot of people who divorce had serious reservations before the wedding, but went through with it - which is why it’s important to take your time and address concerns before committing. Whilst I agree with moving on if you’ve been with someone for a long time and they can’t see a future together, or have different aims, I find it bizarre when I see relationship experts say ‘give them a year or two, tops, *in total* then move on’. Yes, have a time frame in mind, but really, for most people the time frame probably shouldn’t be very short. You’re interviewing someone for the most important role in your life. Someone you’ll be sharing many meals with, making countless financial decisions with, spend a lot of your free time with, someone you’ll be most intimate with, and whose social circle will become your own. I’d never marry someone in that timeframe and honestly out of the people I know, those getting married in a hurry are in the minority. Maybe it’s because my circle (medics, college educated women) are marrying pretty late in general. But it’s also because I’m a cautious overthinker who needs to be 100% sure, and taking my time has been central to my dating process. Which is why it grates when my relatives are all like “why aren’t you married yet?” as if snagging someone (anyone) is much more important than making sure you’re with someone you can build a life with. Why are we encouraging this? Rather than letting people know the important thing is to enjoy dating, and really get to know each other, build strong communication and work out if you’re on the same page, we’re adding to the pressure to lock down ASAP. It’s important to give it a chance for things to go from the acute ‘can’t keep hands off each other’ honeymoon phase to the ‘comfortable around each other’ phase and the part where you truly learn to be yourselves around each other, and deal with the reality of the person when they aren’t on their best behaviour. A relationship isn’t about moving through milestones as soon as possible, like a game you can win if you mash the right buttons and complete the ‘partner’ objectives. If if feels right, for both people that’s a different matter, but there should never be any rush. Particularly if you’re young, because you’re changing so much, and learning a lot about who you are.

That’s not to say I don’t feel wistful - when I see my 90 year old patients who’ve been married for like 70 years, I wonder what that might be like (I’ll never experience it), and wonder if I’d met someone sooner whether we’d have been able to share much more of our lives together. I do feel sad that I’ll have missed out a lot of potential good times with a loved one - the later you settle down, the bigger the chunk of their life you haven’t witnessed or shared. What it must be like to settle down at like 20 and live 70 years together! And yet, that’ll never happen for most people, and that’s OK. Ultimately I don’t regret the life I’ve had - it’s been fun and full of good friends and happy times. So I can’t say I’d change it. Nor would I rush through things.

#dxdates #dx dates

hoppip

Big world! With its valleys and nooks!

berniesrevolution

IN THESE TIMES

You’ve been fired. According to your employer’s data, your facial expressions showed you were insubordinate and not trustworthy. You also move your hands at a rate that is considered substandard. Other companies you may want to work for could receive this data, making it difficult for you to find other work in this field.

That may sound like a scenario straight out of a George Orwell novel, but it’s the future many American workers could soon be facing.

In early February, media outlets reported that Amazon had received a patent for ultrasonic wristbands that could track the movement of warehouse workers’ hands during their shifts. If workers’ hands began moving in the wrong direction, the wristband would buzz, issuing an electronic corrective. If employed, this technology could easily be used to further surveil employees who already work under intense supervision.

Whole Foods, which is now owned by Amazon, recently instituted a complex and punitive inventory system where employees are graded based on everything from how quickly and effectively they stock shelves to how they report theft. The system is so harsh it reportedly causes employees enough stress to bring them to tears on a regular basis.

UPS drivers, who often operate individually on the road, are now becoming increasingly surveilled. Sensors in every UPS truck track when drivers’ seatbelts are put on, when doors open and close and when the engines start in order to monitor employee productivity at all times.

The technology company Steelcase has experimented with monitoring employees’ faces to judge their expressions. The company claims that this innovation, which monitors and analyzes workers’ facial movements throughout the work day, is being used for research and to inform best practices on the job. Other companies are also taking interest in this kind of mood-observing technology, from Bank of America to Cubist Pharmaceuticals Inc.

These developments are part of a larger trend of workers being watched and judged—often at jobs that offer low pay and demand long hours. Beyond simply tracking worker performance, it is becoming more common for companies to monitor the emails and phone calls their employees make, analyzing personal traits along with output.

Some companies are now using monitoring techniques—referred to as “people analytics”—to learn as much as they can about you, from your communication patterns to what types of websites you visit to how often you use the bathroom. This type of privacy invasion can cause employees immense stress, as they work with the constant knowledge that their boss is aware of their every behavior—and able to use that against them as they see fit.

Lewis Maltby, president of the National Workrights Institute at Cornell University, tells In These Times that the level of surveillance workers are facing is increasing exponentially.

“If you look at what some people call ‘people analytics,’ it’s positively frightening,” Maltby says. “People analytics devices get how often you talk, the tone of your voice, where you are every single second you’re at work, your body language, your facial expressions and something called ‘patterns of interaction.’” He explains that some of these devices even record what employees say at work.

(Continue Reading)

sabot-sister

Stop this.

paganinpurple

This was reported by both the Guardian and the Independent so it’s very much a reality

blackfemmejeanvaljean

so not to be marxist on main but the workers need to seize the means of production

Time flew so fast that whenever I hear someone has been sick, I'm like 'uh? it's only July and people are already that sick?'

iwouldhavefollowedyou

Big fan of this nasty bastard.

pastelputa

little tip for guys complaining about girls having saggy tits or stretch marks: die lol

miseducatedmelanicmuse

#1 #6 #9

we-are-europe

Minsk, Belarus 🇧🇾

Belarus is a landlocked country in Eastern Europe bordered by Russia, Ukraine, Poland, Lithuania, and Latvia. Its capital is Minsk. Over 40% of the country is forest. Major economic sectors are service industries and manufacturing. Until the 20th century, different states controlled its lands, incl. the Principality of Polotsk (11-14th centuries), the Grand Duchy of Lithuania, the Polish–Lithuanian Commonwealth, and the Russian Empire. In the aftermath of the 1917 Russian Revolution, Belarus declared independence as the Belarusian People’s Republic, which was conquered by Soviet Russia. It’s the last country in Europe using the death penalty. Its Democracy Index rating is the lowest in Europe with it being by far the worst country for press freedom in Europe.

In 2000, Belarus and Russia signed a treaty for greater cooperation. Over 70% of the population lives in urban areas. The country has 2 official languages: Belarusian and Russian. The Constitution does not declare an official religion, although the primary religion is Eastern Orthodox Christianity. The 2nd-most widespread is Roman Catholicism with a much smaller following; nevertheless, Belarus celebrates both Orthodox and Catholic versions of Christmas and Easter as national holidays.

As of 2016, the population was 9.49 million. Belarusians constitute 83.7%, minorities are Russians (8.3%), Poles (3.1%), and Ukrainians (1.7%). Like other eastern European countries, Belarus has a negative population growth rate and a negative natural growth rate, but experiences slightly more immigration than emigration. The average life expectancy is 72 (67 for men, 78 for women). Over 99% of Belarusians aged 15+ are literate. Belarus was once a major center of Jews, with 10% of the population being Jewish, but since the mid-1900s, their numbers have been reduced by the Holocaust, deportation, and emigration, so today it is a very small minority of less than 1%. The Lipka Tatars, numbering over 15,000, are predominantly Muslims. Belarus has no official religion. While the freedom of worship is granted, religious organizations deemed harmful to government or social order can be prohibited.