I want to give up.

"this is your tumblr, and you can fill it with whatever you want"

[everythingstartsfromsomething]

[melisica]

[inferior]

[fr0gt4nk]

everytime my mother speaks she activates my fight or flight response 

[growingupdissociative]

growing up dissociative is

being unsure if you actually slept, or if you just dissociated really hard for like six hours

[closedforgoodbyelol]

[asitaangel-deactivated20220323]

[destroymylife]

[volcanicpoetry]

excerpt from my poem, THE DOUBLE EDGED SWORD OF SURVIVAL, (han hyland)

[traumabites]

could it be, my mental illnesses define me?

[mother-ofplants]

Stay far away from people that can never own up to their own actions and can never say sorry. They are manipulators that will turn the entire thing around on you and make you feel like shit for feeling mistreated.

[opioide]

[withoutyourwalls]

[protobacillus]

Hydromedusa

[neurodivergentaf]

PTSD Gothic

You walk along a food aisle in a supermarket. You are suddenly six years old and helpless. You continue walking. No one looks at you. When you get into your car you cry and cry and cry.

Your friend introduces you to someone. They smile and offer their hand. You think that their face looks a little familiar. You don’t take their hand. You feel like screaming.

You watch TV, you clean your room, you listen to music, you read, and you count the dots on the ceiling. Sometimes you do all of this at the same time. It’s still not enough.

A friend is retelling a joke and playfully smacks you. They continue with the story, but you won’t be able to move or speak for the next six hours.

Someone is talking to you, and you politely nod along. There is a child with them. They proudly state that the child is theirs. You look at the child and resist the urge to take them with you. Their eyes haunt you for the rest of the day.

You are alone in a room. Someone is here with you. Someone is always here with you.

[solum-stella-erratica]

People who had stable childhoods will never understand how much of an advantage they have. People who have never had to try to actively work against their formative behavioural conditioning, who have never had to learn to work against their own trauma adapted personality, will never understand how fortunate they are to be able to exist as themselves. To have a self that was not first formed by trauma, and to not have to learn the rest later.

Part of me will always want to find somewhere dark and quiet and alone, to scream and cry and rage for what was taken from me. For the me that never got an opportunity to develop.

[galacticsonder]

Reblog if you're a trauma blog

I recently started my trauma recovery/vent blog and I need people to follow. If you post primarily any of the following

-abuse in general -emotional abuse -child abuse -csa -ptsd/cptsd -self care -mental health with a trauma focus

please reblog so I can follow you/check out your blog