Gore May

no fuck off

[somebullshitusername]

Fucking legend

[somebullshitusername]

This one time at my swim team it was raining out and some kid was getting picked up from practice by his older sister and he told her 'dont get out of the car, you'll melt'

And ithink about that sometimes

[somebullshitusername]

A toaster waffle

Soft and damp on the outside

Frozen on the inside

Clam chowder is poured deliberately over it

Lumpy and pale

You grab a hot dog and peel the skin off

Cutting this meat casing into ribbons that twirl down upon the meal

There is a flavour missing

Perhaps something sweet...

Cotton candy?

You search for the delectable spun sugar...

But to your dismay, none can be found

It's time to improvise

Peeling back the drywall

You grab a handful of fiberglass insulation

Perfect.

[somebullshitusername]

Use your schizophrenia wisely

[sixmapleleafs]

I found this on tiktok and I laughed so hard so I thought I’d share on here

It’s so chaotic I love it

[the-privateer]

just so you guys are all aware, the only reason gritty exists is allegedly because the NHL made a rule that every team HAD to have a mascot and were apparently assholes about it. so the fliers made him as a chaotic fuck you. hell the first tweet made on his official account was a "sleep with one eye open" threat towards another mascot for making fun of his design

[0v9]

are we not going to talk about how he launched an entire sheetcake into that man’s face, probably killing him?

[lavender-truth]

[lavender-truth]

He also collects crystals

[somebullshitusername]

[somebullshitusername]

[somebullshitusername]

A doughnut

crisp and soft

Icing caked on top like a sweet blanket

It's a jelly doughnut

But inside its not filled with jelly

Oh no

Its loaded with beans

Oozing into the soft pastry

Salty and warm

You realize with growing amazement that what you first perceived to be icing

Is actually mayonaise

Likely expired judging by the lumpy consistency

This is just full of surprises.

And theres one more

Those sprinkles perched on top of the doughnut?

They're rat poison.

[somebullshitusername]

I'm dummy without the thicc

[somebullshitusername]

This is why I hate public school

[somebullshitusername]

Throwback to that one Halloween when we put a rotting elk head in a wedding dress

The hands were deer hooves too lol

[somebullshitusername]

Pizza dough

In a rough, oblong circle

A pineapple pizza

But that isn't the only fruit present

Banana slices ring the pizza like a beautiful, mushy necklace

Trout is the meat of choice this evening.

Bones and skin included

A delightful crunch to combat the soft dough

In the center, like the nucleus of a cell

Lies a sunny side up egg

Undercooked

Runny.

The pizza will collapse under it's own weight if one tries to eat it in the customary style

So we must get creative

Rolling a delicious triangle into a burrito and sliding its softly into a cup.

Grab your spoons.

[somebullshitusername]

This whole stock market shit gives me insane amounts of serotonin

[somebullshitusername]

An endless cycle....

[somebullshitusername]

Time to gut my bank account ig

[somebullshitusername]

A bundt cake

A thick ring, with a scalloped edge

But the inside is not flour and sugar,

no

Its macaroni and cheese

Burnt orange in color, combined with gelatin to form a viscous layer around the cheesy pasta

It shines a bit

Like plastic packaging

on that second copy of 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘌𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘩 that you accidentally grabbed and now you're too embarrassed to return one even though your teacher has mentioned that she is a few short and if anyone has an extra they should bring it back.

The bundt cake quivers slightly

Begging to be eaten

Over the top

Ketchup is drizzled in a grid-like pattern

Your spoon sinks into the jello

You take a bite and close your eyes

It needs salt.

[somebullshitusername]

Yummy nummy rat poison