mas o menos

don't be offended if i seem absent-minded; just keep telling me facts and making me smile.

[kateoplis]

[nprfreshair]

Don’t look down.  

by Cai Guo-Giang

[sat-ch1t-ananda-deactivated2018]

“Let the mind be like the lake that reflects all of the clouds passing over it without any sticking to it” ~Zen proverb

[sat-ch1t-ananda-deactivated2018]

[psychotherapy]

“Questions about happiness generally assume that we know what a happy life looks like. Happiness is understood to be a matter of having a great many ducks lined up in a row — spouse, offspring, private property, erotic experiences — even though a millisecond of reflection will bring to mind countless people who have all those things and are still miserable.

We are constantly given one-size-fits-all recipes, but those recipes fail, often and hard. Nevertheless, we are given them again. And again and again. They become prisons and punishments; the prison of the imagination traps many in the prison of a life that is correctly aligned with the recipes and yet is entirely miserable. The problem may be a literary one: we are given a single story line about what makes a good life, even though not a few who follow that story line have bad lives. We speak as though there is one good plot with one happy outcome, while the myriad forms a life can take flower — and wither — all around us.

Even those who live out the best version of the familiar story line might not find happiness as their reward. This is not necessarily a bad thing. I know a woman who was lovingly married for seventy years. She has had a long, meaningful life that she has lived according to her principles. But I wouldn’t call her happy; her compassion for the vulnerable and concern for the future have given her a despondent worldview. What she has had instead of happiness requires better language to describe. There are entirely different criteria for a good life that might matter more to a person — honor, meaning, depth, engagement, hope.

…Other eras and cultures often asked other questions than the ones we ask now: What is the most meaningful thing you can do with your life? What is your contribution to the world or your community? Do you live according to your principles? What will your legacy be? What does your life mean? Maybe our obsession with happiness is a way not to ask those other questions, a way to ignore how spacious our lives can be, how effective our work can be, and how far-reaching our love can be.

There is a paradox at the heart of the happiness question. Todd Kashdan, a psychology professor at George Mason University, reported a few years ago on studies that concluded that people who think being happy is important are more likely to become depressed: “Organizing your life around trying to become happier, making happiness the primary objective of life, gets in the way of actually becoming happy.””

–Rebecca Solnit, “The Mother of All Questions” (Harper’s, October 2015)

[somedumbelixer]

[somedumbelixer]

[somedumbelixer]

[somedumbelixer]

If a sense of belonging is basic necessity; In context, it’s logic, the appeal of mob mentality. Because I know it’s hard to be the only one who believes what you believe in a room full of people you love but who will always disagree.

I’m scrappy about, receive bits and pieces of comfort spread out by an ever oscillating social network, diverse and divided. 

We don’t want to think it, but maybe they are doing the best they know how to. Your guess is as good as mine when we refuse to invest in the groundwork of investigative understanding. (because) It would cause too great a debt in self-sacrifice and empathy, disrupting well built ego boundaries. No one wants that responsibility, and so they couldn’t pay us enough to live even one day in peasant shoes in their countries. 

[somedumbelixer]

[somedumbelixer]

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

10 Steps to Self Care

1. Be aware of, and respect, your emotional limits. 2. Don’t be a people pleaser. 3. Take control of your thoughts. 4. Listen to your heart. 5. Be kind to yourself; don’t tear yourself down. 6. Learn to take control of, and to manage, your time. 7. Let go of those things you can’t control. 8. Stay away from drama and negativity. 9. Say “yes” to those things that are important to you. 10. Get plenty of sleep, and make time for solitude.

[somedumbelixer]

[somedumbelixer]

[somedumbelixer]

[somedumbelixer]

[themostcuteanimals-blog]

[automatic-weapons]