~Dana~

[She/Her] "Slowly learning that life is okay..." Mostly tlou related stuff

[somefandomss]

I just read if you're anything like me for the first time and im not okay.

"If you're anything like me

You've grown to hate your pride

To love your thighs

And no amount of friends at 25

Will fill the empty seats

At the lunch tables of your past

The teams that picked you last

But Darling, you keep trying"

Like how dare you taylor swift.

[somefandomss]

SHAKING AND CRYING

[flyingfanatic]

Another wee ficlet. This time: Ellie and Joel’s time in Jackson from Tommy’s point of view. You can blame this one on @hatosaur‘s bus thoughts.

.

When he came back with the girl, it was mostly Maria took care of her. At least at first. I could tell things were off with Joel. Something he was holding back. He’d tell me, he always did. Just gonna take his sweet time about it.

Takes a few weeks until he does. Insists on dragging me outside of Jackson to do it, as if he can’t speak the words inside the walls.

When he tells me, I understand why.

When I see the way she watches him from time to time – that wary, side-eyed way – I know she doesn’t believe him.

I mean it, when I tell Joel I’ll take his secret to the grave. But I make another promise, a silent one.

That I’ll be there for her when she figures it out anyway.

Seguir leyendo

[millsheat]

EXCUSE ME!? 8 SEASONS!?

[silenthearts]

Love your recent tlou fics. How about dina accidentally stumbling across Anna's note? (The note Ellie's mom wrote before she died). To preserve the old piece of paper, she puts it in a little photo frame for ellie to keep.

Dina had been tidying for what felt like days, the house had been nothing short of a mess and with so much going on, bone of them had had time to actually clean or tidy anything.

Her forehead was sweaty and her hair tied up in a scraggly pony tail as she struggled up the stairs and opened the door to the last room she needed to clean and tidy, Ellie's studio.

She knew she probably should leave it to Ellie, but she also knew that Ellie would never actually bother to clean or tidy the room herself, so she had to get her hands dirty. Dina started by clearing the stray crumpled papers on the floor, followed by the ones on her desk. She also tried to sweep and mop the floor, in hopes she could get rid of some of the paint stain, but to no avail.

Just as Dina grabbed a bulk of stray papers covered by drawings and poems, one of the notebooks that she was already holding fell on the floor with a big tud and various loose pieces of paper scattered across the floor.

"Fuck's sake" she sighed. At least the floor was already dry. Dina wiped the sweat on her brow and got on her knees so she could gather the pieces of paper all over again. After grabbing quite a few of the stray pages, she came upon a very beaten up and old page. It was slightly yellow and the corners of the page had started to split. Many stains adorned the page and and It looked like it had been folded inside this notebook for quite sometime. Dina pondered if she should open it and see what it was.

"I'll just put it back" she told herself and shoved it with all the others inside the notebook again. But as she put it down, her curiousity took the better of her and she grabbed the old book again and searched for the folded beat up piece of paper.

She took it in her hands and opened it up. Inside there was a letter, the handwriting was slightly smudged and it looked like it had been written in a rush. Dina still hesitated in reading it. Maybe she shouldn't... But she was already here so what the hell. Dina sat on the window seat and got comfortable.

*Ellie, 

I'm going to share a secret with you, I'm not a big fan of kids and I hate babies. And yet... I'm staring at you and I'm just awestruck....*

Dina's throat closed, and hot tears already made their way to the brims of her eyes. This was from Ellie's mom... Her birth mother not Marlene .. her mom.

Dina took a deep breath and with her heart tighter than a knot, she kept reading

*You're not even a day old and holding you is the most incredible thing I've done in my life - a life that is about to get cut a little short.

Marlene will look after you. There's no one in this world I trust more than her. When the time comes she'll tell you all about me. Don't give her too much of a hard time. Try not to be as stubborn as me."*

"Now I know where she gets it from" Dina whispered to herself just as the first tear made its way down her cheek.

*I'm not going to lie, this is a pretty messed up world. It won't be easy. The thing you always have to remember is that, *

Dina took a shaky breath and turned the page to read the rest of the note. She didn't know why she was so emotional, but perhaps it hit too close to home.

* life is worth living! Find your purpose and fight for it.

I see so much strength in you. I know you'll turn out to be the woman you're meant to be.

Forever... your loving mother

Anna

Make me proud, Ellie! *

Dina was full on crying now, like ugly crying. Fuck.

She didn't know what to do with this information, but one thing she was sure of, Anna would have been proud of the strong woman Ellie had grown up to be. Maybe they'd even be alike.

Dina couldn't just let this letter be hidden away inside a dusty old notebook, so with her heart feeling full and her cheeks hurting from the salty tears and ugly crying, she found a photo frame. The frame was made of glass entirely which allowed both sides to be visible.

She placed it on the console of their bedroom, maybe the words of encouragement could do Ellie some good once in a while.

That night she didn't mention the letter to Ellie , nor did she mention that she framed it , and after she had gone to sleep, Ellie entered their bedroom and her eyes fell on the new frame immediately.

She walked slowly towards it and with a caring smile she picked it up and read the letter for the first time in years.

*Make me proud Ellie!*

" I hope I did Mom..." She whispered and sighed. She didn't know how Dina found it but she was very glad she did.

****

I'm sorry this took me so long! This was so fun to write, thank you so much for requesting 🥺❤️

[somefandomss]

I just got my heart, yet again, crushed by a game

[pedropascal24-7]

[skribbz]

oh you know how after joels funeral theres all those flowers in front of his house? theres also a lot of letters. my first thought was people doing it as a nice gesture to show how loved he was. but as far as i know, people generally dont leave cards for the person who died. so what if

people were leaving those letters for ellie. to support her

she of course doesnt read them before leaving for seattle. so what if she came back and joels porch is all cleaned up, maybe by maria, and all those letters are sitting on his table, gathering dust.

of course she still cant bring herself to read them, so as theyre moving joels things that ellie took into the farmhouse, she just shoves the letters into a box, and over time theyre just forgotten

after santa barbara, and after shes had time to heal, she goes back to the farm to get a few things, and as shes going through her stuff, she sees them. she debates on leaving them, it still hurts her a little to think about joel. but maybe dina is there and encourages her to take them in case she wants to read them one day. maybe jj is a few years old by this time and wants to see what all the mystery envelopes are. or maybe she just wants to know how other people feel about joel. but either way, she decides to take them.

one night, maybe that night, or maybe months later, she finally decides its time to read them

instead of the empty condolences she was expecting, she finds heartfelt words of sympathy for herself

theres plenty of “im sorry for your loss"s and “we’re all here for you"s

but also so many sharing their stories of all the things joel did for jackson and its people. stories of what a kind and caring man he was. how proud he was of ellie, how much he bragged about her to everyone in town.

by the time she gets through them, her eyes are red and theres a puddle of tears on the table in front of her, most of the letters are stained with her tears. but it reminds her that, for all the horrible things joel did, he was still a kind and loving man that cared so deeply for the people that mattered to him. especially her. 

[dissonantdreamer]

You ever just, months after the game, wanna cry thinking about everything and hoping against all odds that Ellie and dina end up okay

It takes them some time as love always does. They heal separately for a while. After all, how can you put your pieces back together when they broke even more while you were apart? It's not easy, Dina has trust issues, for a while, leaving feels like a goodbye every time they part. They talk now, really talk. Build up and break down in each others arms. It's like when she's working on a radio these days, you have to test the parts, bend metal, re-wire, find the dead parts and replace them. Eventually, the radio gets puzzled out and when she hears a voice on the other end for the first time it feels rewarding beyond words.

Ellie stays.

Ellie opens up and doesn't stop, she tells the nurse stitching her wounds together she's here to stay. She tells Maria everything that happened in Santa Barbara, asks for help to move on. She tells Tommy that it's over they can't kill what's left of Joel, what's left of themselves. She tells Dina anything and everything she can. She tells her with her words and her actions. Each conversation punctures a hole in her tightly sealed memories enough to let them spill out. She screams some nights, some days she presses herself into a corner and lashes out, always they end in measured breaths and gentle hands over hearts held long enough the beats sync up.

Each time they part feels like a goodbye in a new way.

There are moments when they fight, out of fear. They yell and push each other because their pieces don't fit as easily as they once did wondering if they ever will. If this is all an exercise in futility.

But love is work and love takes time.

Together over the years they sand down the edges and glue themselves back together. Ellie finds a pottery book and reads about kintsugi, breakage and repair is part of every objects history. What's broken can transform, not disfigure a piece. Together they pour gold in the cracks of what they've built, lacquer over what broke them in quiet reassurances at night, raising a son together, relearning each other inside and out, cherishing the old parts they loved while allowing the new parts to grow on them. To fall in love with imperfection.

Effort, choice, time. It's all love.

They love harder each day. Themselves, each other.

It's not perfect, it's not what it was, but in the end that's okay.

Because what they have is theirs and nothing can truly break what love can fix.

[dissonantdreamer]

Say for some reason in part 3, Ellie and Dina have to go to Boston. Something is making them go. Do you think Ellie would avoid the mall entirely? We don’t know what happened to Riley, but Ellie does.

During Part I the Fireflies we’re kinda useless in overthrowing FEDRA in the Boston QZ, however there were a lot of things happening that would lead to big changes since Ellie left. Including the civilians reaching a breaking point where they no longer wanted to live under FEDRA’s rule. I think there would be a final fight for the QZ in that time that Ellie is unaware of.

The mall was already abandoned, watched over by Winston until his death, forgotten thereafter by all. Personally, In my head, Ellie locks Riley in the halloween store. The gun didn’t have any bullets left, but Riley went ahead, giving Ellie a choice. She laughs when they realize Ellie isn’t changing and she is going to get every last second with Ellie, she couldn’t give that up. It’s been something I thought since before Part II and her dislike of the Halloween decor in Seattle confirms it with great bias.

As always, something more under the cut:

Ellie goes to the mall with the intent of opening that door, facing whatever Riley has become. If the body that once was hers taken over by infection, even was still there. Ellie has told Dina everything about Riley. Once she opened up it was like whiskey, spat out in shock.  How she was a fucking force she felt drawn to. A pull she couldn’t ignore. The first person she loved and the first person she lost. The guilt of surviving and the guilt of leaving Riley behind. She wants to see the mall. Unsure if she wants to go inside, she’s spent years of her life talking and healing and feels sure she can at least see the building.

Then they get to Boston. And it’s quiet. No thunder of humvee wheels over old cobblestone roads. No orders shouted from the tops of walls. No gun fire. The thing that strikes Ellie the most is the lack of walls. They’ve been destroyed, bombed. Turned to rubble and fine powder that dusts her shoes and clings to her jeans. She and Dina are careful, Ellie remembers Pittsburgh, Dina remembers various stops her mother brought her and Talia to. They both can’t relax. The North End is mostly gone. The golden dome of the state house gleams brightly from it’s new home on the steps of the former statehouse, itself partially submerged by rising waters. Tess. Gone. Ellie squeezes Dina’s hand as they tuck into the shadow of a building. Standing still in the open feels like an exposed nerve.

Ellie takes them to where the burned remains of her final Prep school stand. A charred gravestone marking the worst years of her life, saved by the best person she could have asked for. Certain Corporal Dickhead had her things destroyed long before whatever happened here Ellie toes at the charcoal underfoot. Still she searches for something, anything left of her past that isn’t already hanging around her neck. Dina watches over them while she sifts, and exercise in futility that she’s allowing herself to go through. In the end, as it’s been since she left Boston, there’s nothing left of her time here but a cool circle of metal and her memories. She has to keep moving. Dina holds her for a while when they feel safe. A few infected roam the streets. None of them in a blue shirt. As if time would have given her that, it’s been long enough if Riley got out the clothes she wore would have fused with the infection or fallen off entirely. Maybe they had already met again. She can’t think like that, but she does.

She doesn’t remember how she gets them to the mall, what’s left of it. Her feet carried her there sure and true like it did over a decade ago. The mall is missing several walls and she can see straight to the center. Where the carousel sits a lighthouse high upon a rocky shore. Through her scope she can see the track is off-kilter entirely, the roof caved in, several horses scattered around the area. A corpse of her childhood. She decides to go, drawn to it like a sirens call. It will never turn on to ward her off. As the enter through large crack where two walls fell on each other. Crooked teeth in the mouth of the last bastion of teenage freedom this world had seen. Cautiously she leads Dina to carousel, it groans under their weight but holds. Ellie’s old stead, dusty and missing his face is still attached and she swings a leg over and sits. Dina sits in front of her. They close their eyes and sit until Ellie is ready and she starts up the carousel. With her words the track is fixed the roof no longer half collapsed upon itself lights up and it begins to turn next to her she hears Dina’s quiet laugh. Minutes later the ride stops. Holding hands they make their way to the final stop.

This half of the mall where the second floor had merged with the first is where Ellie finds an old rubber vampire mask, next to a few broken Skeleseers. She kneels to pick the mask up, but time has dried it out and made it brittle. A strange powder in her hands, the store is gone, and she hears her. A whisper in her ear, Now roar. Ellie chokes and her shaky fingers tighten on the grip of her revolver as she pulls it from her waist band. She hears her again real as anything.  Ellie. Really? Fucking roar.

She roars with all the years of loss she’s held in. She roars until she is lightheaded and her throat feels like she ate a handful of glass. The world is muffled like a cheap Halloween store mask and she hears her one last time.

There she is!

Ellie rises ready to face the consequence and waits...

And waits.

And waits.

And waits.

She’s fourteen all over again, waiting to turn as her best friend tells her not to be stupid. That she’s special. That she needs to get to Marlene because if there is a chance she could live, she’s going to take it, without Riley.

The echo of her roar ends in silence. Nothing moves. Nothing screams. In the place where she lost everything. Nothing is left.

She’s never going to turn she realizes.

She is going to change.

She has changed.

Ellie leaves then, climbing back out of the mall with tears on her face for the final time. She and Dina are in Boston for a reason and this isn’t it. They have a mission and she’s not dying in fucking Boston.

She has lost and learned and loved and lived.

Riley would be fucking proud of her. The fucking Brick Master.

Riley isn’t here in this tomb of the past. She’s in the sun on her good days. She’s the crack in her voice when she sings. She’s the joy in finding another comic.

Ellie might have left Boston, but she never left Riley.

She has been with her all these years, and Ellie can leave this place behind.

[dissonantdreamer]

When I try to go to sleep at night I’ll think of an Ellie who only knows of a Joel who been dead longer than he was in her life.

She doesn’t realize it for a while. After all she’s spent her time getting better and finding a way to live for herself. Five years out she stands at his grave and tells him about everything that’s been happening, like she does every month. How Tommy and her had a break through and he burnt their stew because they hugged for so long. How big JJ’s getting, able to name all sorts of dinosaurs, more than they say in the museum. How Dina took her out to the darkest point in Wyoming and asked her to get married under the stars.

Six, seven, eight years out she doesn't think about it cause she's healing and healing she’s not trapped in her past as much. A decade passes and it still hasn’t hit her.

Then one night in bed it hits her that she's lived without him longer than she's knew him. That she has stayed alive longer than she knew him. At first she waits for the guilt that would settle in her chest and ambulate her around for days on end after she realized she forgot something this big, but not this time. Not when JJ is growing up playing one of Joel's guitars. Not when she and Tommy meet up to talk, he gives her shit and smiles in that old Miller way. Not when she and Dina got married in a night ceremony and a moth landed on her shoulder. Not when she presses iron to wood and her favorite chord sounds true. Not when, despite his absence, she finds him everyday in the little things she never had chance to appreciate.  He's there in hard times, when she watches her patrol partner get bitten and the days after where her heart weighs heavy with guilt. He’s there in the pull of the trigger when she has to kill to protect Jackson, protect her family. He’s there in the late nights, at the bottom of the stairs when she’s exhausted and the shadows take form. 

 She rolls over the moment she realizes it, faces Dina as her mind starts to race. The sting behind her eyes kept at bay as she tries to focus on the way Dina’s back rises and falls. She fails, the urge to get up leave the bed rising within her. An old itch she hasn’t scratched in a long time. Just as her chest tightens, she finds herself choking on old fears. Her world dissolving into darkness around, her and on the edge of her consciousness, a creak in the corner of the room startles her. She looks over to where a moon beam cuts through the curtains, creating a spotlight over the photo of her Joel and Shimmer, she keeps on her dresser.  A calm settles over her, warm and firm, like an old forgotten hug, and she stays. Shifts closer to Dina. Rests a hand on her back, and counts her own heartbeats in between Dina’s breaths. Ellie fights, finds something to anchor her in the moment. Because that's what Joel would want for her. That's what he'd do. He'd stay, and many ways she knows, Joel has stayed.

So she does too.

[dissonantdreamer]

You know how in Ellie’s journal she wonders if Joel was comforted by her being there.

What do you think? It’s entirely possible that he’s in so much pain that he can only register it’s Ellie and not much more. Yet there’s a side of me that wants to believe that seeing Ellie one last time was sort of his dying wish. Just being able to see her might have brought him closure.

Gosh I’m sad now

Okay okay so this scene has so much more depth and I’ll split this response into two sections I’m going to give my initial thoughts and then I’m gonna refer to the behind the scenes from a few interviews on the scenes because the process and the insight to the internal dialogue we don’t see that makes it all a real fuckin’ stab in the gut, twist the knife of emotion.

Gonna make myself real fuckin’ sad under the cut:

That scene, for me. That was all about Ellie, her trauma, her pain. What breaks her and pushes her over the edge into the darkness. Joel’s brain is mush. He’s firing on one cylinder. The body is pumping blood, the lungs are taking air in and out. The light is all gone. He hears her say his name, seemingly responds, moving his hand and breathing in. If he processes anything with Ellie, it doesn’t last, he stills. I personally don’t think he had the capacity to understand exactly what was in front of him. Not with the way his head was bashed in. At least in a way that would be gratifying and wholesome. In a way where he sees her and is at peace. I don’t think there was much of Joel left in that body. Because that is realistic. That from personal experience, when someone is on their way out, they don’t always know who or what is in front of them, they, they see whatever their brain is producing to ease this pain, to ease the mind as it shuts down. And you want, more than fucking anything to believe that you just being there helped in some way. That they’ll fade with you on their mind. It’s not like the movies. The only person that could be comforted by that thought is you and it’s a lie you can keep telling yourself if you want. No one will question that.

Joel did however, in my opinion, have a moment of clarity long before that moment, surrounded by this group of people he thought he was helping, when he realizes that his past has come back to kill him. A moment where he reflects and concludes that it was worth it, he got five years with Ellie. Four of them in a place of safety where he got himself back, got the man, the father, Sarah saw, back in some capacity. I believe he didn’t think he was ever going to see Ellie again, and found some final comfort in the love he had for her before the club even hit his head.

Now for some actual insight Troy (and Neil) shared taken from two podcasts worth givin’ a look see if you haven’t already.

TLOU2 Spoilercast

and Let’s Get Into It

Troy Baker has a podcast and he interviewed Neil on it and they talked about the scene and one thing that Troy fought Neil on changed literally everything in the scene. Joel’s gone he’s barely there, his neurons are barely firing and in an earlier draft they wanted him to hear Ellie and say, “Sarah” because she is part of his story (she’s kept alive in other ways in his home). They filmed two versions, one where Joel does say “Sarah” and the version we see. Neil agreed that it was more powerful without him referring to Sarah. That led them to shave off some other dialogue in Ellie’s house where Sarah would be mentioned, that Joel wouldn’t follow after the WLF, because he could have easily hunted down the officer that ordered his daughters death, but he didn’t he stayed with Tommy and did what he could to keep them both safe. Because that’s the real Joel, the Joel that would protect what family he has left.

Troy shares something about Joel’s mental  process during the scene in another interview, where he has been hurt he knows he’s going to die. The line of internal dialogue that Troy believes he didn’t articulate, didn’t convey wordlessly through his acting,  has stuck with me for months, “this is what happens when you drop your guard. I allowed myself to trust. I allowed myself to love. I allowed myself to feel. I allowed myself to be safe. And this is what you get.” Joel sees it as a moment of regret. Troy goes on to say that despite that regret, just like on the porch, Joel would fucking do it all over again. For Ellie. Because he got to have that life with her however brief. It was worth it.

I can’t say for sure she brought him closure when she broke down that door. Not when he was so close to death. I believe that every moment up until his lights dimmed, Joel took comfort in knowing Ellie. That while he may have Sarah to look forward to, in this moment, in this brief blip of his life, his kiddo brought him back to himself. Gave him a better final run than he could have ever asked for.

I think in a way, that is more comforting, to face down your own death with someone you love on your mind. To let go of fear knowing that he loved and was loved by Ellie in her own way. That she wanted to try and fix what was broken, that she came to him, that he could still be forgiven another time. It’s just that time ran out and he was content with that, because in his life, through all his struggles, he kept surviving. He kept fighting. Kept looking for his next reason to fight.

In the end, he found that reason to keep fighting, and for him?

After everything he had done?

It had been for something. 

[heygaymayday]

Ellie x Dina Week, Day 7–Infinite

Another belated Ellie x Dina week entry that just wasn’t gonna get finished, but I hit the song Visions of a Troubled Mind by J. Tillman last night and broke my own heart. I don’t even totally know what the lyrics are but it’s completely to blame for this, for the record.

—-

Nothing lasts forever.

But this—it lasted long enough.

The blood goes

pip

pip

pip

as it leaves her fingertips, hits the cool concrete.

It’s okay. It’s quiet. It’s fine.

Maybe it didn’t last long enough—she wouldn’t have turned down a few more years. A few more days. One more hour on their porch, all painted in amber and gold by the last of the sun. One more hour of living to the sound of guitar strings and the laughter of JJ’s girls, chasing fireflies in the tall grass after dinner.

Wasn’t long enough but it was more than she ever expected. More than most people got. More than Joel.

Wouldn’t it be something for him to see now—how her life had been all filled up with love. With people. With little feet on the stairs and sticky hands and learning to bear the joyful, terrifying burden of being the person. The one they’re all looking to for answers. For safety. For a model on how they oughta move through the world. She’d never been so scared as the moment she realized JJ was gonna learn how to love people, or not love them, by watching her.

She wasn’t even good at loving people. But she had to figure it out, how to love without fear and—more importantly—how to love herself. Because whatever whip she held to her back—JJ was gonna grow up and hold it to himself, too.

But she did it. She did. All those days bled together and it took a long time. It took days and months and then—then thirty years had come and gone. And one day she was holding her first granddaughter and thinking how funny these kinda moments are—the moments when you can feel it, can feel the shift as it’s happening, can feel the future as it becomes the present. And it can make you a little sad because you know some new thing has started, some new part of your life, and you’re not even sure you did the last part quite right. Not sure you enjoyed it quite enough.

But there’s joy in watching things bloom. She was just a broken kid who walked out of Boston with a bite and a knife and a man she didn’t know. Who could know she’d help lay the groundwork for these few, precious lives. For this beautiful, fragile, fierce garden.

She and Dina built a home, and things grew there. Not the fetid, corrosive fungi growing in the rest of the world—no, they grew good things. Green things. Things that giggled and sprinted and asked for second helpings of dinner. Things that climbed and jumped and wanted books read at night.

And it started with Joel. If not for him, she’d have been dead a hundred times. Even if she’d lived, without Joel—she wouldn’t have been able to do this. She wouldn’t have been able to love. She wouldn’t have known how. She wouldn’t have been the same.

But because of Joel, she got to spend thirty years with a woman who still made her crazy every day. She got to raise a son, who became a capable, gentle man. She got to see two granddaughters, wild as the day is long and dead ringers for their grandmother, with all their long, dark curls and easy smiles. Talia, passing letters to her during dinner that just said things like, “GRANDMA ELLIE TEACH ME TO SHOOT ARROWS DAD SAYS NO BUT I SAY YES.” And little Jessie, passing notes that are actually just drawings of cake—because Jessie really likes cake. And cookies. And, more than anything, the apples dipped in honey.

Because of Joel, Ellie got to see Dina getting soft around the edges. Her hair going gray at the sides. She thought it made her wife look very distinguished and capable and a little mysterious—not a whole lot of people made it to their age. Having gray hair was a wonder and a mystery and a privilege and Dina wore it like a badge of honor. A challenge. A testament to all their hard work.

And they’d worked hard. They really had. There were problems and fights and there had been fear and blood because there was always fear and blood in a world like theirs. But they’d taken a shell of a place at the end of everything—and they found sun. And warmth. And good soil. They found moments of perfection together, all of them—moments that swallowed up everything bad and made it seem like something so small. The fear and blood seemed very, very far away when she was sneaking an extra cookie to Jessie.

If blood was the toll she had to pay to get here, then it was worth every ounce.

Which might be the actual amount she has to pay today.

Her coat’s sticky with all those ounces. But at least she can feel the wind. Can see the way the night’s starting to burn away, giving over to all those deep, lovely shades of thalo and cobalt and Prussian blue. A little cadmium red. Gold ochre. Dioxazine purple at the edges. Pulled right from the wrist with a little fan brush. Give it a small flourish at the end of the stroke to make it lay just right. Yeah.

At least it’s not a basement. She always thought it would be a basement. A rooftop’s much better. Open and clean and cool.

She always thought she’d be alone, too. She always thought she’d leave the world the same way she came into it—alone.

And maybe there’s no one here. Just here, and the windswept rooftop getting swallowed up by the fragile, inevitable new morning light, all lines of gold and honey.

But she’s not alone.

Her people are out there.

And they’re in here.

They’re everywhere.

And she’s not alone.

In the end.

[hatosaur]

First off your artwork is absolutely brilliant! Also I'm feeling some angst, I apologize in advance. Hurt Ellie with JJ. Like Ellie took JJ out on his first patrol and everything went wrong and now JJ is trying to help his injured mom.

Absolutely no pressure. Please feel free to ignore or say nope way too angsty. Again your artwork is truly fantastic.

you said first patrol but for whatever reason, i went on auto-pilot and drew a younger-than-patrol-age jj so uhhh...imagine they got jumped during a simple hunting trip.

neither thought it could go this wrong.

[igodownwithmyshipz]

@hatosaur this is so amazing! Truly brilliant artwork. You inspired me to write a little ficlet I hope that's oksy.

One moment everything was perfect. He had his shot lined up, arrow notched, bow string taut. His mom whispering, reminding his to breath, keep his eyes on his target. And then the moment was broken.

A tree branch snapping behind them. His mom turning, rifle sliding from her shoulder. His world erupting into chaos. A man with wild eyes. His mom stepping between him and the man. The crack of gunfire. The man collapsing, dead.

He laughs, a short stressed huff. "That was..." he never finishes his sentence. He watches his mom topple over, the scene playing out in slow motion. The sound she made as she hit the ground playing on repeat in his mind as he rushes forward. "MOM!"

There's so much blood!

"We....we.....gott....a.....J....JJ....Jack....son...ge...t..to"

He's frozen as his mom tries to get back up, stumbles a few steps and tries again.  "...J.....JJ...." she's reaching for him.

"Mom?" He's crying. He doesn't know what to do. He helps his mom stand and she starts pushing forward. Gasping. Struggling. Each stop a little weaker.

The go a hundred yards. And he doesn't understand. What's he supposed to do?

"Mom???"

They take another step foward.

"C.C'mon please say something"

His mom's getting heavier and he's not strong enough. His mom is the strong one. His mom and his momma are the strongest people he knows. But his momma's not here. And mom....oh god what is he going to do?

"I ...I...don't" his sobs are mixing with the sound of his mom's choking gasps.

"You gotta tell me what to do!!!"

[hatosaur]

First off your artwork is absolutely brilliant! Also I'm feeling some angst, I apologize in advance. Hurt Ellie with JJ. Like Ellie took JJ out on his first patrol and everything went wrong and now JJ is trying to help his injured mom.

Absolutely no pressure. Please feel free to ignore or say nope way too angsty. Again your artwork is truly fantastic.

you said first patrol but for whatever reason, i went on auto-pilot and drew a younger-than-patrol-age jj so uhhh...imagine they got jumped during a simple hunting trip.

neither thought it could go this wrong.

[somefandomss]

I teach music to little kids and today one of them gave me a drawing 😭💖

[silverislander]

DAY TWO: dawn

ellie and dina are counting down the days, and everything is soft at the edges.