insideyourmind

invisible girl 27yo - nyc public diary of sorts/exploration of mediums

[someonesomewhere01]

[focus-55]

Tokyo Love: Spring Fever 1994 by Nobuyoshi Araki and Nan Goldin

[someonesomewhere01]

Staying here feels like holding on to dead dreams. Holding on to childhood fantasies. Holding on to naivety. There is no denying how my experiences of early adulthood have shaped me into someone that my younger self wouldn’t recognize. I’m not even sure she’d be proud of who we’ve become, but she thought she knew everything and oh how little did she really know. I cling to my past as if I owe something to her. Well I am my father’s daughter.

[someonesomewhere01]

i think my purpose in this lifetime is to be a vessel. in multiple ways. a carrier of burdens. of hopes and dreams. a vessel for healing. a womb for lost souls. empty and ready to be poured into. ready to be filled by others desires. to reveal truths to expose and to nurture. there is no me. only everyone else. i hope to find myself in death once i am finally at peace. while i am alive i must heal the rest. how can i serve you?

[someonesomewhere01]

What does is mean when you are such a light for others, yet the ultimate darkness for yourself?

[someonesomewhere01]

hard to find the will to live when everything feels like it doesn’t matter

[soracities]

“I want to infect you with the tremendous excitement of living, because I believe that you have the strength to bear it.”

— Tennessee Williams, from The Selected Letters: 1920-1945 (via victoriajoan)

[someonesomewhere01]

Just one of those days where I feel like I have made every single wrong choice ever which has amounted to the most difficult path possible for myself which is bad because I’m not strong enough to see it through. So now I’m just going to die here in this pain and suffering.

[someonesomewhere01]

I hope you have a pachanga with some cake.

Can you hope I have $20k with some cake? That would be really nice

[someonesomewhere01]

It costs too much to be alive. I’m tired. I’m too weak. I don’t have it in me to try harder. I try and I try and I try and for what? All I have to show for myself are failures. Please someone just put me down.

[someonesomewhere01]

new pussy new hair new everythinggggg watch out world!

[dailyrothko]

[dailyrothko]

Mark Rothko, No 1 (No 18) 1948

© 1998 Kate Rothko Prizel and Christopher Rothko 

[someonesomewhere01]

I hate fireworks. They scare the Unicorn's. 🦄

Sure

[mournfulroses]

Albert Camus, from a letter to María Casares featured in Correspondance, 1944-1959

[someonesomewhere01]

Who / what inspire you to write?

Nature people places…I feel like I approach a lot my writing from a very observational lens? My feelings about things guide me and I seem to have a lot of feelings. I think I care so much that I just don’t know where else to put it. I’m also definitely a dramatic person. I experience the world very romantically.

[someonesomewhere01]

cried so hard

I had a nosebleed

gushing blood

pouring out of me

blood everywhere

my guts spilling

my body bare

exposed embarrassed wasted

[someonesomewhere01]

Need a foot massage before bed daily like I know that would drastically improve the quality of my life