🌀Absurdist🌀

Worst blog ever?

[somerandomabsurdist]

Hello folks!

I’m absurd (no, really) but just call me “A” or “Ash” is fine. Previously Ralphlastnane.

Now get ready for a poorly thrown together introduction post!

(!MINOR!)

Male and He/Him pronouns

Pansexual! 🌀

Somewhere in my teens 🤑

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Fandoms:

-Lord of the Flies 🐚🏝️

-Animal Farm 🐖🐴

(I’m reading 1984 please be patient ✌️🥹)

-Squid Games 🟥🔴🔺

-Danganronpa🏫🔪

-Death Note 📓🍎

-RDR2 🐴🤠

-Harlan Ellison works 🖥️⏱️🐦‍⬛5️⃣

-I like HH and HB but are NOT in those fandoms. (I can have interests without being in the fandom right?)

More, but I can’t think rn 😛

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Music is cool!:

-Michale Romance 🫡

- The Offspring

-The Taxpayers

-Overtonight

-McCaffetry

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And because I don’t stare at a wall all day, I like:

-Acting

-Debating

-Reading (I find it difficult help)

-Writing

-Cooking

-Exploring forests and abandoned spaces

-Rambling ✌️🥹

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I WILL always be down to debate any subject so I don’t have a DNI list apart from NSFW content is not allowed.

(I’m honestly just stumbling my way through a new tumblr acc so please be patient 😭)

Alright, that’s bout it for now

(And for those wondering @therealralphlastname is the new Ralph ask and rp acc ^^)

[piggy-i-broke-the-conch]

Jalph is love, Jalph is life

[*WARNING- NSFW*]

I was only nine years old.

I loved Lord of the Flies so much, I had all versions of the book and all the movies (except the 1990 one- that one can go die in a fire).

I’d pray to William Golding every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I’ve been given. “Jalph is love”, I would say, “Jalph is life”.

My dad hears me and calls me a fujoshi. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Jalph. I called him a wanker. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I’m crying now and my face hurts.

I lay in bed and it’s really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It’s William Golding. I’m so happy. He whispers in my ear, “Sucks to your assmar”. He grabs me with his powerful author hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for William. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Jalph. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please William. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love.

My dad walks in. William Golding looks him straight in the eye, and says, “Jalph is canon.”

William Golding leaves through my window.

Jalph is love. Jalph is life.

[somerandomabsurdist]

do you study lotf at school? i just did my gcse on it and it honestly ruined my love for it

My school is very odd in the way that we studied it, but yes I did. Honestly I didn’t like it too much when we first studied it, but later I got really into it. I never had a huge unit or test over it so, that’s probably why I still love it.

I’m sorry it got ruined for you lol, I promise it’s only a little boring 😭

[somerandomabsurdist]

Thank you for being a The Offspring fan

Yooo The Offspring is peak!!

[somerandomabsurdist]

you all ur interests are sick bruv

i like so many of these as well!! ur genuinely so cool

( @iiralphii )

OMG TYTY you seem pretty awesome too!

Bro if you ever wanna talk my DMs are open!!

[somerandomabsurdist]

Every pin below this is essentially the og Ralph archives? Idk, but I’m not deleting them 🤷

[somerandomabsurdist]

HULLO FANS AND FOLLOWERS!

It is with my great sadness that this account will cease to be entirely Ralph themed and become more of a personal account.

HOWEVER!!

Not all hope is lost seeing as I will be converting @ralphlastname into a sub-blog.

I just have other interests, and would like to have a personal non Rp/Character acc. Lowk kinda getting tired of Ralph being my one and only thing lol.

Hope ygs understand!! ✌️🥹

(Also, I’m starting the tag for myself “#you killed Ralph for this?” To remember what this acc once was)

Love each and everyone of Yall /p

-(formerly) Ralph

[somerandomabsurdist]

My birthday isn't anytime soon but what if I ask for a Raliggy birthday cake 😳 that'd be so tuff wouldn't it say yes if you agree

Absolutely the most tuff thing ever IF you invite me to your very distant birthday ✌️🥹

We love raliggy here!!

Yes!!

[somerandomabsurdist]

Were you rescued on October 2nd, 1952?

🤷

[somerandomabsurdist]

HULLO RALPH!! :D. PLS PLS PLS PLS MAY I CONE TO YUR WEDDING???? 😌😌

Of course!!

Your seat is C5 in the left side!

[somerandomabsurdist]

I'm a time traveler, I have a report from the future

WAIT HOLD ON THIS IS ADORABLE OMFG

@misha-chichirkin you’ve been formally invited to the wedding as a guest of honor for this absolute beauty🥹

[somerandomabsurdist]

Who's invited to you and piggys wedding ? What do you think the theme of your wedding should be?

Invite list has already been posted.

Theme?

Uhhhh ask Nicky😅

[somerandomabsurdist]

So who are you inviting to the wedding? (I am gonna guess it's not jack)

All my followers are invited! Along with the rest of the islanders in my tribe.

Im hoping that @uhmguysiatetheconch will be my best man (or woman or them idk their gender)

@wholesome-lotf-confessions is the guest of honor bc I love them 🥹

I’m throwing @f3ntixx behind a dj set and hope they figure something out 😎

Jack is tied to a front row seat and forced to watch.

And whoever else wants to come!

*ahem*

IF we were getting married, which were NOT!

[somerandomabsurdist]

ralph r u excited for ur wedding? i heard piggy wants to wear a dress

I told you lot! We ain’t getting married!

Wait es’ wearin a dress?

BWHAHAHA

*blushing profusely at the thought of piggy in a dress*

[somerandomabsurdist]

ok you're marrying piggy now have fun

Finally…

I…!

N-no!

I am NOT marrying piggy.

Why do you guys keep tryina’ do this…?

Under my breath: What if he wore a sailor uniform to the wedding?

[somerandomabsurdist]

FELLASSSS

I need help with Nicky. I think he knows😞

How do I

Uhm…

You know

Tell em’ I wanna be his

…

Help…

@uhmguysiatetheconch @piggyteheheh

also R.I.P @vlerpvlop, their acc is down :(

You will be missed

[somerandomabsurdist]

Im gonna tell piggy you like him just to see what happens.

He knows I like em’ we’re good mates.

…

Look, it’s silly and foolish and completely stupid to like boys like that.

…

Please don’t tell em, that I like him. He’d think I’ve gone mad.