I played your game and it was Okay. You’re the creator so I’ll leave my thoughts here:
Red was a lovely protagonist. I enjoyed her wit, how she thought aloud—because I do too—and overall, she was a relatable character. She shows empathy, remorse, impulsivity under pressure, kindness, etc. Her breakdowns were written well enough. Those were portrayed well. She did feel human. Her design was pretty and fit in well with the colors of the game. But, this can also sabotage things in ways.
The other characters acted more as plot devices than their own people. It creates an unbalanced set. It’s hard to feel immersed with a cast like that/lh. Characters in a story are supposed to have a ROLE, but that doesn’t mean they need to be narrowed down to just that. It wasn’t terrible. but they came off as more tell than show; which isn’t… a way you should go about storytelling in a game. The player should be able to look around, interact with things, and piece it together in a way that provides impact and intent.
The wolf was written alright. It had less depth than Red. I enjoyed how it seems like Red inherited her grandmother’s sharp tongue, and how they can relate as being the black sheep of the town/their family. Grandma seems like someone who has been through stress, guilt, and put up walls. It’s a nice touch. but she felt more like a plot device, than a human. And that is disappointing. Part of that is because the lack of subtle context that could’ve been given, and it would help round out Red’s character more too without it being just talking.
Trauma affects people, especially children. Red is still a child, and she just ran away from her home in hopes of finding solace with a woman she never met, but Red found comfort in her photos. That is desperation. It gives a good motive to why Red was so upset. Besides for the fact that, yk she thought a wolf ate her grandma. Or that a wolf ate someone, that’s traumatic by itself. It’s implied Red had a rough home life, probably more on the emotional end. You can see it in how Red speaks, but not acts.
I would’ve added more to how she reacts to things. which she did, but not in a realistic sense. I understand the shock value of learning about the trauma for impact, but it failed to land for me. Immediately getting upset when someone is calling you a child is more along the lines of immature than someone who has been through things. It is a sign of distress, and can trigger a reaction in people who had to grow up fast. But that is the only time we see her react besides when she scolds herself so harshly about the poison and the meat when she dies. The way she talks to herself negatively is a sign of emotional abuse. People tend to repeat what has been said to them, after all. It doesn’t need to be blatantly obvious, but Red reacting more to things would’ve been a better show of story.
Her only consistent reactions are to being called a child, or even being hinted at like she isn’t capable. It makes her feel immature, which maybe was the point. If it was? I like that. Okay, that works if you pace the story right. If you add more context clues, or subtle foreshadowing. It can lead to a nice character arc. Red was lowkey pretty prejudiced so I can give grace there. It gave her a nice flaw.
But because of her inconsistency, it paints Red more as a child who ran away because she was lonely and wanted to be independent. It doesn’t have as strong of an impact.
it’s not good writing to dump it all at the end. Having Red admit her dad wasn’t good to her so… suddenly without more reactions—even subtle—won’t give the same impact. Grandma’s reaction to it felt very shallow too? It didn’t feel like a mother mourning the fact her son mistreated his own child. It genuinely seems like she didn’t care much. If she didn’t, well then I can see why her son hated her. She doesn’t seem like a very good mother then. Confiding all of the reveals to the end can be considered rushed. You need to have context clues within the game to make it immersive. more stuff about Red’s DAD in grandma’s house that made Red uncomfortable would have been perfect, and it would also show that Grandma misses her son like she said she did. A photo of him making Red’s expression shift, or her out loud thinking coming to a stop. His name makes her cringe, and then she keeps changing the subject no matter how many times you interact with it. CONTEXT CLUES. It would’ve made her feel more HUMAN. Which is the intent here, i’m pretty sure. Red’s father is an important character to both her and Grandma. Make it show. Red tends to be avoidant of her own personal conflict, show it more please.
The Woodsman felt hollow. likeable, you can tell he was a father, he had some quirks, but he didn’t feel like a person. A human. He had some depth that i enjoyed, but it was uneven with Red’s or Grandma’s. A tragic backstory that can hit people, and I actually do like how the killer was caught.
It was probably one of the more impactful scenes in the game, when other ones were supposed to be as well? That was nice. Personally, would’ve made it a cutscene so it would feel more real. I know part of the plot is Red being used to him and going through the loops over and over, which making him feel like a prop WOULD be a good idea then; but if he is an important character—even as a side character— more could’ve been done. Especially near the end. Round him out. He has potential. I did like him, he just felt unfinished. He’s important to Red’s character arc, but let him be strong enough on his own too.
Violet was so rushed that her twist just was unsatisfying to me/lh. It wasn’t bad, it was just very, very rushed. If it was paced? The plot twist and finale would’ve hit a satisfying beat. It’s also… strange that she stands out so much? The entire forest is red. She can be purple, but personally i would’ve put a red overly so at least her tint is red. I understand it’s meant to show she didn’t belong there—her and Grandma BOTH have similar color palettes most likely to show the similarities—but this was Violet’s Forest.
The only foreshadowing we ever got for her was the beginning and some quotes. Nothing else. More could’ve been done until the dreams where she talked to Red. The ending felt very unearned. It didn’t impact me the way it probably was intended to? It was a bit cheesy, which isn’t bad, but it didn’t seem right. It could’ve been done smoother, more efficiently. If anything, i would’ve recommended more dream sequences of Red and Violet. Possibly playing together, building a bond with “Mother Nature”, etc. so the sudden relationship isn’t so, well, sudden. It allows Red to feel genuine empathy, rather than sympathy because a child was going to be killed. That is a HEAVY topic, and a lot for someone Violet’s age to go through. Their dynamic could’ve been done better./lh Once again, Violet did not feel as human as the others.
Violet’s speech and behavior matched that of a child, especially one that had been hurt, but there should’ve been more hints as previously mentioned. It was incredibly rushed with a capital R. She’s cute though. You could’ve used the the old tower. It would’ve been perfect. it’s said that nobody knows why it’s there, maybe Violet stayed there when she was a girl. Have her old things around the room, dusty and decaying. Violet is the main “villain”. give her foreshadowing, clues, more attachment to Red. Because Red is another child, Violet thought she’d be fun. That Red would understand. and Red did, but not the way Violet initially wanted.
As for the gameplay, you can add more storytelling in that. Based on vibes, it should’ve been more of a puzzle game, and then once Red gets more desperate she goes to violence, and the battles start. As the description of the game said, the battles WERE pointless. This way, it can SHOW her spiral. The was technically done when she brought the Woodsman to the house, but it lost its impact with how used we were to it already. It happend so quickly, too, and he just moved on. It would’ve had good narrative impact if the player felt it too. The puzzles were enjoyable. That was immersive. It’s a wonderful way to explore the map and get world building, but this game failed to do that. I wish there were more of those than repetitive battles.
I also would’ve made the wolf seem more like a threat in Red’s eyes. If we’re supposed to initially believe the wolf is since we’re Red’s pov, even after the cycles keep going, seeing the wolf nearby would’ve been simple but affective. A misunderstanding on Grandma’s part, but to Red it can feel like she’s being stalked. Ut might alert the player not to go that way, it creates urgency.
The worst part of the game/lh, was the the final fight. I’ve said this a few times already, but it’s not good to push all of that onto the consumer at once. It’s hard to take in, and leaves little room for impact. For them to care. It explains things, but it’s more tell than show, etc. If you are going to do that, draw it out and show it on screen like a cutscene, so we’re not just staring at the same screen. Plus, immersion points.
If you want to make it have more gameplay, change the actions to try and soothe violet. I LOVED the detail where you couldn’t fight her anymore once realizing she was a child, but adding more control to helping her would’ve been nice and made it more of a game.
So I agree with almost everything you say here-
There is a reason a lot of these aspects are undercooked and that's because of it being my first game. I was unfortunately a little lazy with it. But this is because Red Leaves wasn't made as a huge passion project, Red Leaves is a glorified experiment for me to figure out what I can do in RPGMaker MV.
Often times I do spend more time trying to round out my characters and pace things better, but I didn't here. Because I was under the mindset that this isn't yet what I want to make, this is my test. That's not necessarily an excuse, nor is it justification, but that IS why the game is the way it is
I was also making the majority of the game entirely bedridden recovering from surgery LMAO. So if that explains some things
Point being: I'm always glad to receive critique I just want to make sure you guys know that most of what you notice I'm Very Aware Of. I'm not super happy with Red Leaves! There's a billion things I'd do differently and you bring up some GREAT points! I'm happy I got A game out but I'm very aware of the flaws. Like I said: it was a glorified test to see if I could do something
I agree with so much you said here, these are great ideas that really would have refined things.
-Red's trauma wasn't done for any shock value reasons, I never write my characters with shock value in mind, just giving them more depth for why they might be the way they are. I wanted there to be a reason for Red to be trying so hard at this, why she wouldn't just give up and go home. To her, it isn't an option
-Violet is supposed to stand out like that because she's not meant to be from here, but I completely get what you're saying.
-No not every character was written with the exact intent to sound as human as possible. That's just fiction sometimes. Red was written the way she was however so specifically due to the fact I was very much unintentionally(?) projecting LOL
Anyway! I think I've rambled enough in response.
I really appreciate your feedback. It's extremely helpful. Like I said, I really do agree with it. Red Leaves was an experiment and I can assure you my next project will be handled much differently now that I understand what I'm working with
