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this is a really small chapter and yeah yeah iâll just drop this here in celebration of 100, Â 94 followers!! thanks all of u <3
The airport here in Santa Barbara is different, to say the least. Different to what he has been used to in Los Angeles, not that he spent much time at the airports there either. Itâs not as rushed and it feels stiller somehow. He fears that if he breathes the feeling will be broken.
There are people around him that chat with their friends and family, people who walk towards the gates like they have all the time in the world and people who laugh so hard they have to grab their friendsâ shoulders for support. There are people who have a life and a laugh to give and they still stay alive.
And thatâs what they are. Alive. They arenât robots or machines with rusty hearts beating against their metal cages with their thoughts a monotone line of emotionally detached facts. They are real, real as the grip Benjamin has on his bag, real like the pain he feels on the left side of his chest.
They are human beings and Benjamin feels like maybe he needs that too. Being human has always been a burden to him, something to carry on his shoulders until the pain is too strong and he has to fall. But around him he sees people who laugh, who feel the pain but laugh nevertheless, who grab their friends and live.
Benjamin knows that living is a key word, but somehow he has never gotten around to fit that particular key in the hole itâs supposed to go.
The wind blows against his hot skin as he steps outside. Itâs past the end of the summer but the outside is still as warm as at the start, if not warmer. There are huge plants on either side of him and he counts them as he makes his way forward.
He gets to the parking lot and decides to wait. He doesnât know his auntâs car from the others, but heâs sure his aunt recognizes him among the others waiting for their rides. He grabs his pack of cigarettes, takes one out and sticks it between his lips. His lighter he finds from his pocket and he hates the feel of it on his fingertips.
His eyes involuntarily scan the side of it and his mind burns with images of her smiling face layered with her emotionless one; the one he was to see last. They draw a sick picture and he is sick of feeling this way and he lights the cigarette and throws the lighter away and he is safe.
He doesnât hear the lighter landing anywhere and he doesnât bother to look. He doesnât want to see, itâs behind him - itâs in the past.
The first inhale is the only one Benjamin ever needs, but he suffers through the rest of it like he does with life too. It helps him think, rearrange his thoughts and gather the pieces of his mind into places where he thinks they belong to. And he needs to think straight when meeting his aunt for the first time in five years.
Benjamin is just about to take the last drag, when a cloud of dark hair settles in front of him. Itâs aunt Laurel, he realizes a little too late as he has already blown smoke onto her face.
He is just about to say he is âsorryâ, even though itâs more of a reflex than a whole-hearted apology, but Laurel just grabs at him and pulls him into a hug. Itâs not as uncomfortable as his motherâs hug, but itâs over quicker and he barely gets his cigarette out of the way.
âLook at you, Benji! Youâve grown up so much,â She exclaims and doesnât cast one look at the tube of cancer still resting on his fingers. It surprises Benjamin a bit, but he recovers and just drops it on the ground.
âSo have you, I suppose,â he tries to go for a light answer that wouldnât require continuity for the conversation. He knows he has failed when Laurelâs mouth opens up in a laugh and she starts for her car.
âSo I have. We are in a bit of a hurry though, Iâm cooking and I donât want the house to burn down on your first day here.â
Benjamin drags himself behind her and wants to ask something, but he canât. He waits to see his auntâs shoulders tense with the fear of being near him and waits to see how she will turn on him and lock him up and tear him down. Because she knows, she has to know doesnât she? What he has done?
But no, he doesnât wait for it. He wants it, deserves it even. But his heart is a curious creature who betrays him over his mind and he hates himself. âBut isnât the road to El Rio a bit long from here? Iâm pretty sure your food is burnt by the time we get there.â
He hears the doors to the car click open and he stashes his bag on the back, before going around the car and settling on the passenger seat. The car is a little bit newer than Benjamin would have expected, but still a bit too rusty for his taste. Not that any of that mattered anymore.
âOur food. And, donât worry your pretty little head about it. Aurora is home to keep an eye on the food,â she answers and they both put on their seatbelts. Emily didnât. âNot sure about the house, though.â Laurel adds under her breath and Benjamin is thankful for the distraction.
He glances at Laurelâs face on the rearview mirror and there are lines on her face that werenât there five years ago and she has earrings made of real gold. It should make sense but somehow it doesnât.
Those lines arenât from aging, because Benjamin knows how those look like. They are from insomnia and he knows this because he suffers from it too. He likes to say itâs loneliness, but why would Laurel feel lonely? He doesnât know so he thinks he is wrong.
They pull away from the parking lot and start on the road and Benjamin struggles to keep his eyes open against the sun. His skin is burning and the clothing on him smells of sweat and tears and he decides he hates cars now. Itâs a metal shell around him and maybe it should be safer that way, but it isnât.
Cars trap people and kill people and this Benjamin knows for sure.
The rest of the ride goes in silence as the carâs ventilation pushes cold air against Benjaminâs sweaty skin. When Laurel stops the car and looks at his face through her lashes, Benjamin feels tired, but he doesnât feel lonely.
She smiles at him and nods and Benjamin knows that she knows, but isnât leaving. She doesnât look at him with the disgust his father did nor with the disappointment his mother did. Laurelâs hand hovers in the air and Benjamin wants to take it, but he turns away instead and gets out of the car.
He takes a deep breath and hears Laurel get up as well. âAurora is waiting,â he speaks through gritted teeth and Laurel locks the car doors.
âShe missed you.â
Benjamin laughs a little at that. Itâs a mean laugh and he flinches at the sound of it himself. He turns around and looks at Laurel in the light and he wishes he had been here the whole time.
But he thinks Laurel is lying to him and he doesnât like liars.Â
âSure,â he mutters and doesnât like himself either. He takes the first steps towards the house that is nothing like his own castle, but looks better anyway. Itâs his new prison with people who actually know who he is and want him to stay.
âBenjamin,â he hears and stops. Laurelâs voice is strong; and it has always been that way. Benjamin used to admire her when he was a kid. Her voice never wavered against his fatherâs and he imagined Laurel as a superhero made of steel. Fuck Superman.
âItâs okay.â
But it isnât and thatâs what she means. Benjamin feels the hand on his shoulder and knows. Even if it isnât okay, even if it never will be, he isnât alone in this. And if the hand that stays on his shoulder doesnât bother him for the next two minutes â well, he doesnât have to tell anyone.
johnny is definitely the foodie of the gang. he cooks for maricruz 10/10 delicious dinners, but all in secret. he keeps his passion for food between the two of them.
12. which oc has the most extensive vocabulary?
kingston would probably be the one to have this skill? i mean heâs the oldest and wisest (lol cringe) but like you know. he is the oldest. other one who could come close is harlow. (cruz has an extensive vocabulary when swearing. true story)16. describe the phone cases and phone wallpapers of each oc.
oh boy.Â
benjamin: heâd probably have a picture of something lame as his background. like honestly heâd have the fucking picture on that comes with the phone? and maybe later hed have a picture of pokey as his wallpaper (auroraâs cat). he doesnât have a phone case. edgy.
antonio: does he even have a fucking phone?? yes. rarely uses it though. probably has an old picture of the gang as his wallpaper because hes a sappy motherfucker. would have a protective phone case. like you know just black. nothing else.
maricruz: she would def have a fitness pic as her background and then maybe lockscreen would be a pic of johnny.
aurora: shed have the most lovely picture she could find of her and theadora. thats just her. also a pink phone case. its her fave color.
theadora: inspirational quote about âbeing the best you can beâ or âyou can do anything if you put your mind to itâ. also a pic of aurora. her little princess. no phone case to be seen.
johnny: maricruz. thats the only word we need. or then a pic of him and antonio, brotp all the way.
harlow: a picture of all the girls! or a sunset, something light and pretty! shed have a phone case with bunny ears???? those are sooo cute.
kingston: he rarely uses his phone either, but he has a picture of his gf and their little boy!Â
jasper: hed have probably something rly edgy âcool boyâ stuff. or just something really unsettling and fucked up. wouldnt want to go through his google search history either.
okay so this doesnt have ANYTHING to do with somewhere to begin and i apologize in advance if none of you are interested in this. its just a one post after all.Â
before somewhere to begin i was writing a fantasy book. and i just read the entirety of what i had written. and i miss it. and i thought i would share this one part of it with you guys, to see if the rest was salvageable. if i should not leave the book to its on misery with me neglecting it. so as always if you spare the time to read it, i would like to hear your thoughts! (and let me know if i should continue writing it someday)
Langley glanced back at Dexoflynn, who had grown quiet in the minutes Langley had gotten tangled in her memories. He looked impeccably sad, as if the pain inside her had somehow touched him too. As if he had felt it.
For the first time, Langley actually looked at him. Looked at the man who was sent to protect her, put his life on the line for her. To catch her if it ever seemed like she couldnât take the fall. To shield her from the hurt, the suffering. To kill, for her. And it didnât matter to them if this boy made it back after. If he fell, no one would even blink an eye. No one would be there to try and catch him, to nurse him back to life.
Suddenly Langley felt a small pang of hurt in her chest. Dexoflynn was a big man, boy, human. His light hair was short, so short it mustâve been cut recently and the short tufts also told very well the cut wasnât made by a professional. A family member must have cut his hair. Iâve taken him away, just as they did to me. His even lighter, yellow toned eyes stayed on Langleyâs the whole time. As if he could somehow absorb the sorrow from her own.
âI am sorry,â Dexoflynn whispered finally and even though he had no idea what he was sorry about, it soothed and calmed the waves pushing her heart free from its strings.
âNo, not anymore,â he answers. Benjamin thinks it should be the right answer, but for some reason Cruzâs eyes fall from his. Itâs minutes until se finally whispers: âthen, Iâm sorry.â
does anyone know anyone who is or is anyone here blessed with the hands of an artist???? by this i mean does anyone know how to draw. on computer. mostly is anyone charitable or interested enough to draw some of the characters?? id be eternally grateful.
does anyone know anyone who is or is anyone here blessed with the hands of an artist???? by this i mean does anyone know how to draw. on computer. mostly is anyone charitable or interested enough to draw some of the characters?? id be eternally grateful.
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