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[somnolentserenade]

Hustle and Heart: Tales of a Middle-Class Dreamer

Ever wondered what it's like to live carefree, not sweating over every penny and drowning in responsibilities? Dreaming without the constant shadow of bills and obligations? Welcome to the reality of us everyday hustlers, especially the middle-class working women.

January hits, and the dream of a solo holiday sparkles in my eyes. I hover over those tempting ticket prices, only to be brought back to earth – Dad needs a new phone. Tightening that budget belt already.

February whispers promises of a hotel reservation for that solo escapade. But alas, reality intervenes – aunty needs new glasses. Budget, you sly thing, always tight.

March rolls in, and my birthday calls for a celebration. Solo trip planning resumes, but wait – family needs new clothes, friends deserve treats. Living in society, remember? Tight budget alert.

April sneaks up, and thoughts of reserving a cozy homestay flirt with my desires. Then reality kicks in – sister's aspiring lawyer dreams demand new law books. Another month, another tight budget.

May suggests, "Why not throw caution to the wind and book that trip?" Oh, but Dad's medicines, new glasses, health checkup – he's aging, and responsibilities stack up. Budget? Yep, still tight.

June dawns, and dreams of a getaway vanish. Sister's college semester fees are due. Tight budget, the perpetual companion.

July arrives, but leaves no room for leaves. Work projects loom, and health checkups demand savings. Tight budget, a familiar refrain.

Lonely August slips away like sand. Tight budget echoes in its wake.

September storms in, piling up projects and workload. The budget? You guessed it – tight.

October brings Durga Puja, and the family craves new clothes. Tight budget, the unwavering constant.

November's Diwali dazzles with the need for new gold and a looming move as the rental agreement expires. Budget? As tight as ever.

December rears its head, signaling the time to pay up sister's college fees. Another year, another dance with the tight budget routine.

And the cycle repeats, a relentless carousel of dreams, desires, and the ever-tightening budget. Welcome to the rollercoaster of middle-class reality. 🎢💸

[somnolentserenade]

Delusional Dreamer

I rarely put pen to paper, but when I do, it's like creating a whole new world. Even in my private diary, I can't shake the feeling that someone might stumble upon my thoughts. It's like I'm playing a role rather than being real.

Lately, I've been a bit of a mess—crying like a baby to Mitski tunes, lost in fantasies that reality won't ever match. I used to daydream a lot, but then it hit me—I've become a bit too delusional. I sleep a crazy amount, around 12-13 hours, just to lay in bed, letting my mind wander into an alternate universe.

In this dreamland, I'm not just me. I'm this ideal version, a girl with all the stuff I've always wanted—looks, body, voice, personality. My alter ego is this outgoing goofball, making people laugh, winning hearts with a smile and some eye action. She's carefree, no responsibilities, no money stress. She plans her own adventures, travels the world, and even has a boyfriend who's head over heels.

I spend so much time in this dream that reality feels like a drag. I find comfort in imagining a life where I'm not alone, where friends are there for me, where I don't feel lonely in a crowd. My dream friends are the same as my real friends, but everything just clicks better in this alternate reality.

There are some similarities, sure. We've both lost our moms early on, been burned by first loves, and are stubborn with loving dads. But in my dream, these things don't weigh me down. Instead, I get to enjoy the fantasy of a carefree existence, even if just for a little while.