soffy

"✰And i shouldn't cry, but i love it, starboy✰." kazeki lover

[wndstrrrry]

hi pokoomf 1. so what's the current situation (therapy wise) for everyone?

2. what kind of dates do gilserge go on? or what do they tend to do together

3. does gilserge have a pet in this au?

4. what's the relationship between rosemarine and gilserge like/going to be? since rose helped them escape but they currently dont know

hello user motohagios, this is gonna be a LONG one but it's ok because i like to yap

1. so uh, currently the only people receiving therapy are renault and liliath as it is!

liliath goes to therapy for a bunch of issues he eventually opened up about (specially the beautiful boy club shit and its Consequences on him), he's been in therapy since he was fifteen. why fifteen? because leon had already graduated and the whole gilbert shit kinda got him spiraling for a bit, so he went home and broke down. it was a bad summer. but he's okay now :))

renault only really started therapy after leaving bonnard's house, a co-worker (not serge) was the one who told him he should because he had been struggling a lot at first. he's still struggling, he might struggle forever, but he's coping well. he stopped going for a bit because he got stressed but then serge offered him to move in with him and gilbert for two reasons:

- rent is easier to split between two people!

- gilbert would probably like the idea (he did, because he likes renault very much)

so once that was settled and the financial burden was less intense and he wasn't home alone all day (because THAT was killing him and making him go insane) he went back! yay!

gilbert DID attend therapy while he was hospitalized (over the accident) but it was more of a forced treatment (for his ED, the addiction issues, allat.) so i doubt it did much, because he just wanted to go home. he didn't go back because there's no money for that and he doesn't really want to.

2. before That (drugs+accident) happened, they didn't go out that much, sometimes they went on walks but that was about it. both of them were really fucking tired so nothing really came out of it.

after that ... well (? they still don't go out much (gilbert's petition, he doesn't like going out that much now.) but they do hang out at home. sometimes they watch movies, or documentaries, or anything (it's usually serge choosing the movies, gilbert doesn't care much about those)

when they DO go out it's just to restaurants or to look at stuff in stores (this one they only do it when serge gets paid because he knows gilbert likes to ask for things, lmao) (and when gilbert is in a good mood because he thinks stores are a pain in the ass) (his autism diagnosis still hasn't happened, i'm afraid)

3. yes! serge found it on his way home from work and brought it home because:

- gilbert would like that

- the poor thing was cold.

it wasn't supposed to be a permanent thing, the idea was to give it up for adoption at the end of the week, but gilbert liked the cat a lot so they kept it.

it's been very helpful for his emotional state, however ... serge doesn't get as many hugs at night now ...

4. well, they found out eventually ... rosemarine had to go to the hospital when the accident happened since they needed a relative (gilbert was still a minor at the time, so ...) and the closest (best) option they had was rosemarine, so pascal called him and explained the situation lol

rosemarine didn't really want to do it for gilbert (their relationship is still strained and weird, they don't really like each other but they might, eventually) but he still appreciates serge a lot, so he did it for him and his sake.

he wasn't of much help for gilbert though, because he yelled at him when all that happened. scratches head.

[wndstrrrry]

saturday night in paris

[marikoshinobu-deactivated202503]

i need to reread kazeki so take this analysis frm memory with a grain of salt

BUT from what i remember, keiko aims for a critique against religion as an oppressive institution (which makes more sense when you look into what a lot of her inspirations for kazeki were, which were a lot of "resist oppressive institutions" just like "if...". or works about self-discovery/liberty like "Demian") and carl, as a character, is sort of meant to expand on that... hence all his self-flagellation and refusing to let himself "ascend" or be true to himself the way serge does. major part of serge's character arc, him accepting that he loves gilbert and choosing that love every time even while various antagonists (society 🤡) try to tear them apart. also worth noting that keiko writes abuse as working as a structure/institution itself too but that's a different essay

hence why a lot of the characters in serge's friend group tend to love or long for either gilbert or serge. a lot of them are given the same opportunity: to embrace that love/attraction in the face of 𝔰𝔬𝔠𝔦𝔢𝔱𝔶.

carl loves both serge AND gilbert but doesn't fully devote himself to that, and goes to a seminary in the end. him helping them escape is a last act of love but it's also the only full act of love he ever does before choosing religion in the end.

anyway. just tried to think about carl since i'm always angsting over him and trying to understand why keiko did him so dirty... which led me to pascal's whole character as like this solitary science-obsessed atheist and how the narrative poses him. he's such a useless ass in the paris arc but i think his character is actually meant to be directly opposed to carl which is why keiko focuses on the two of them instead of kurt and nekka who are likely meant to just play the role of "normal friends at school" with kurt being transformed by gilserge's decision to be true to themselves and then nekka becomes the "carl" during the paris escape in that he chooses to stay with the status quo. btw i hate the paris arc ending i've tried to understand it but i think keeping the story confined to the school was a better idea.

i get paris was supposed to be a whole See 𝔰𝔬𝔠𝔦𝔢𝔱𝔶 is Still the Same But Now You Have to Pay Bills but the lacombrade cast was too crucial and paris gave them no good replacements

[marikoshinobu-deactivated202503]

FORGOT THIS DETAIL but to add on, carl literally says that sebastien was never given the same kind of strict treatment carl was. their parents basically gave sebastien more free reign, so he wasn' victimized by the same mentality (Society) carl is

which is why we see that sebastien is so open-minded and authentic about his own feelings/sexuality than carl. sebastien is even the one that points out carl's own feelings for serge and is like "well you won't admit it but i essentially will". so this is furthering the whole thing about oppressive institutions limiting self-actualization kazeki's on about, using actual siblings from the same household with different teachings

[marikoshinobu-deactivated202503]

i need to reread kazeki so take this analysis frm memory with a grain of salt

BUT from what i remember, keiko aims for a critique against religion as an oppressive institution (which makes more sense when you look into what a lot of her inspirations for kazeki were, which were a lot of "resist oppressive institutions" just like "if...". or works about self-discovery/liberty like "Demian") and carl, as a character, is sort of meant to expand on that... hence all his self-flagellation and refusing to let himself "ascend" or be true to himself the way serge does. major part of serge's character arc, him accepting that he loves gilbert and choosing that love every time even while various antagonists (society 🤡) try to tear them apart. also worth noting that keiko writes abuse as working as a structure/institution itself too but that's a different essay

hence why a lot of the characters in serge's friend group tend to love or long for either gilbert or serge. a lot of them are given the same opportunity: to embrace that love/attraction in the face of 𝔰𝔬𝔠𝔦𝔢𝔱𝔶.

carl loves both serge AND gilbert but doesn't fully devote himself to that, and goes to a seminary in the end. him helping them escape is a last act of love but it's also the only full act of love he ever does before choosing religion in the end.

anyway. just tried to think about carl since i'm always angsting over him and trying to understand why keiko did him so dirty... which led me to pascal's whole character as like this solitary science-obsessed atheist and how the narrative poses him. he's such a useless ass in the paris arc but i think his character is actually meant to be directly opposed to carl which is why keiko focuses on the two of them instead of kurt and nekka who are likely meant to just play the role of "normal friends at school" with kurt being transformed by gilserge's decision to be true to themselves and then nekka becomes the "carl" during the paris escape in that he chooses to stay with the status quo. btw i hate the paris arc ending i've tried to understand it but i think keeping the story confined to the school was a better idea.

i get paris was supposed to be a whole See 𝔰𝔬𝔠𝔦𝔢𝔱𝔶 is Still the Same But Now You Have to Pay Bills but the lacombrade cast was too crucial and paris gave them no good replacements

[marikoshinobu-deactivated202503]

FORGOT THIS DETAIL but to add on, carl literally says that sebastien was never given the same kind of strict treatment carl was. their parents basically gave sebastien more free reign, so he wasn' victimized by the same mentality (Society) carl is

which is why we see that sebastien is so open-minded and authentic about his own feelings/sexuality than carl. sebastien is even the one that points out carl's own feelings for serge and is like "well you won't admit it but i essentially will". so this is furthering the whole thing about oppressive institutions limiting self-actualization kazeki's on about, using actual siblings from the same household with different teachings

[every-kurt]

He kinda ate with this

[marikoshinobu-deactivated202503]

Hey, it's ya girl, Keiko.

Take me back, pls 🥺 ily

not after that ending

[aprilc0t]

@windstir I drew them...

[pokophobia]

modern au stuff that you should tooootally ask me about in @windstir btw :P

[pokophobia]

well good evening pokophobia nation! :) how are we feeling! i am here with more designs! hoorayyyy

(the heights are a bit awkward so take them with a grain of salt ... i didn't want to correct them)

[pokophobia]

third and final part ... i never figured out how to draw serge so this isn't exactly a final version for him but. hey. they're here.

now that they're all out you can go ahead and ask whatever you want over in my main blog @windstir bc idk how to share stuff lol

[pokophobia]

modern au stuff that you should tooootally ask me about in @windstir btw :P

[pokophobia]

well good evening pokophobia nation! :) how are we feeling! i am here with more designs! hoorayyyy

(the heights are a bit awkward so take them with a grain of salt ... i didn't want to correct them)

[pokophobia]

third and final part ... i never figured out how to draw serge so this isn't exactly a final version for him but. hey. they're here.

now that they're all out you can go ahead and ask whatever you want over in my main blog @windstir bc idk how to share stuff lol

[hakonohanayome]

Kaze to Ki no Uta - Keiko Takemiya

[aprilc0t]

CW

Soo I never post here but almost all of my post are about kazeki, recently I bought some of the Spanish volumes, it's been a while since I read the the first part of the manga, so I did, but found it so hard to stomach because of how explicit it is.

I first read it when I was like thirteen but now that I'm older I see other sides of the story, and obviously question more things about it. As much I can give the story and what it tries to portray my own personal meaning, in a death of the author type of way, for me it's also important the intention and actual impact the story had, so I went to Wikipedia and found some really interesting and diverse points of view. For example, the portrayal of homosexual romance in shoujo with the intention of girls identifying and projecting onto the male characters, as a way of being mentally liberated of the sexual restrictions imposed onto them, and "protecting" the reader of the sv.

That made me think of kazeki choosing to portray these relationship trough Gilbert (whose fairly androgynous) only with the intention of female readers projecting onto him. When I read kazeki I don't think I felt portrayed in the characters or the relationships.

I like the story and the psychological complexity of the characters, I think it has a overall realistic development and the characters accord to their depictions and the situations of the story, but I also feel sometimes it's too much. I actually don't know if that it's the point, like some scenes being there to shook or make the reader uncomfortable or just for the sake of being there, because when Takemiya has been ask about if the depictions in the story could condone the sexualization of minors she said "such things do happen in real life. Hiding it will not make it go away. And I tried to portray the resilience of these boys, how they managed to survive and regain their lives after experiencing violence." But we know Gilbert didn't exactly survive and regained his life (the complete opposite actually)

I really want to know what other fans of the series think about this, because it's quite and important part of the story

[aprilc0t]

[gilserges]

gilserge except they're not a long distance relationship serge is just at work

[hakonohanayome]

Kaze to Ki no Uta - Keiko Takemiya

[pokophobia]

" gilbert wandered away from the crowd, his head throbbing, his heart racing, his body falling apart.

the few other kids at these parties never really paid much attention to him, and if they did they would point his little fingers at him saying how weird he was for clinging so closely to auguste, for being so close to the adults, for talking to them as an equal rather than a superior.

the hallway was dark, but there he found it anyway: a cherub figurine.

the porcelain was cold to the touch, and its broken edges were rough to the touch, gilbert wondered if it belonged to anyone, if it was loved, would someone who loved something just leave it there, broken?

he held the figurine tighter and stuffed it in his pocket alongside the broken parts.

whoever lost it didn't love it enough anyway, he could love it, he could hold it, carefully glue the broken parts together and keep it safe in a shelf.

unlovable things sure were drawn to each other. "

[gilserges]

i just woke up so forgive me if this sounds weird but i just realized what gilbert's love language is!!!! it's gift giving!!!!

this might seem obvious but there's this one scene in volume 16 where he gets a big tip, and his first thought regarding that money was to buy serge something he loved, however he obviously couldn't afford a whole ass piano so he settled for MANY. MUSIC. BOOKS.

gilbert has never had to do that for anyone before, but he did receive many gifts during his childhood from admirers to show their "love" for him ... now, it's obviously creepy to go around giving gifts to some eight year old just because he's pretty, and we all know the underlying intentions of that whole ordeal, but gilbert saw it as a way of showing love! and eventually developed that into a way of showing actual love, because we do know he loves serge, and he doesn't really feel forced to be "that way" with him anymore

like, gilbert is naturally kinda cocky/sassy and there are certain mannerisms INGRAINED into his whole sense of self, but it doesn't seem like he's trying to be seductive towards serge, that's literally how he was taught to do things ... and i guess part of the gift giving is that, something he claimed for himself.

[pampik-deactivated20250405]