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I DON'T UNDERSTAND BUT I LUV U | FOLLOW AGAIN TO INCHEON

soonyoongi

This year, I really want to focus on myself and make my education and possibly career my main priority. So far, everything has turned out okay, I’m turning in all of requirements needed for my upcoming course. But there’s a sense of anxiety that I’m starting to feel about it all. Maybe it’s just nerves?

I still have a few requirements left to turn in but it’s taking a while for them to process and the application deadline is coming up and it’s making me feel insanely nervous cause it’s cutting it really close.

I also have application deadlines for nursing school coming up and I still haven’t completed that yet. I’m now just second guessing myself really. Am I really worthy enough to go to nursing school? Am I even good enough to make it in? my grades really are on the average side, nothing too extraordinary, yet I have this false sense of hope that I am able to make it in.

I think I’m just feeling more anxious and nervous due to the fact that deadlines are approaching and that these are really going to be such life changing decisions for me. I’ve lost my sense of self these past couple of years and now that I am taking control over my life again, it’s making me feel a little nervous.

soonyoongi

it’s been a couple of months since i made this post so i guess i just want to add an update.

i didn’t get into any of the nursing schools i had applied too. it’s honestly really disheartening. i’ve been feeling lost because i now have to readjust and change everything that i had been planning for. all of my plans that were surrounded by me going to nursing school next fall?? completely vanished or pushed even farther. the rejections have kinda reinforced the insecurities i’ve had this whole time while i was applying and waiting. that my grades weren’t enough, that i wasn’t enough to get accepted… it’s just made me really discouraged and unsure of what my next move should be.

i also failed my cna clinical exam. the written one i had passed, but this clinical exam?? i’m not exactly sure what happened. i did all of my skills perfectly, i was so confident going into this exam. but the one skill i failed was taking/recording radial pulse. how did i mess that up?? what happened there?? failing the clinical exam made me feel even more discouraged about my dream. i know have another chance and i’m able to retake it but it’s just… frustrating. frustrating that things aren’t going the way that i was hoping for them to go.

these really have left me feeling discouraged and i’m starting to doubt myself. am i really on the right path?? if i can’t get into nursing school and pass my cna exams, am i even cut out to be a nurse?? im left with nothing but doubts and insecurities now and im just not sure what exactly to do anymore. im so tired of having to change and readjust my plans and my goals. im so tired of things always ending like this.

im tired.

soonyoongi

hello it’s been a couple more months since i have last said something so let’s have a quick update ^^

i thankfully passed my cna clinical exam the second time!! a little while after than i managed to land a job in a big hospital!!

i am so thankful that i’m able to start off my healthcare career in a hospital rather than an independent facility. i’m working in the observation unit in my hospital and it’s been such a blessing being able to meet all these new people who are more than willing to teach me and guide me. everyone that i have worked with have been extremely kind and patient towards me while i try to get adjusted into the rhythm of the hospital. the only downside of this is that it’s night shift and i don’t like the feeling of fighting my body to stay awake in the depths of the night. it’s only been a week since i switched to nights and it’s been putting a rough toll on my body. i’m more tired than i usually am and i feel more cranky and achey cause i’m not sleeping the same as i was before. i know it’s something that i’m gonna have to learn to adjust to but it’s not at all fun rn trying to switch my sleep schedule.

nursing school application deadlines are coming up again and i am once again terrified. the feeling i had when i got my first rejections a couple months ago are still lingering inside me and makes me even more hesitant to apply. i’m still doubting myself and my worth. how am i good enough now to apply?? is it even worth applying again?? what can i do differently this time?? i’m just feeling even more scared than i was the first time. i actually really enjoy working in the hospital, it’s everything that i have every wanted. but i can’t stay in my role forever, i have to move up. but i can’t do that if i’m not able to get into a nursing school. why is it that these insanely rough applications are what’s holding me back??

soonyoongi

hello, it's been well over a year since i have been on here. i just wanted to share an update.

I am in nursing school!! i finally made it into one and i have been in it since the beginning of the year!! i've been so fortunate to meet new people and create new experiences that i have only previously dreamed about. I am handling nursing classes so much easier than i thought I would have and am even doing way better academically than i could have imagined. it's still insanely hard, especially because i am still working full time alongside of classes, but i still feel so lucky. i am doing the best i can and that's all that really matters :)

why are so many porn bots following me :c