12:15PM A REAL FAKE STORY: BAE TODAY: What was so bad about doing drugs? I’m not sure why everyone got really worried and offended that I have been using crystal meth. They don’t talk to me about it, ask me about it, worry about it or even notice it. Most the time it’s out of their way unless I’m trying to say hi and make myself laugh.. given nobody has seen me in person for years. Hahah since meth pissed them off. Me smoking it at home. Paying for it (like not before expenses) and still being sober enough to be alive usually. I think it could be that they are worried I am going to die. Or call them. Or stay up late even when I don’t even work yet. Let’s figure out when I worked: first month sober August 2019. Sometimes I’d go a few days after that relapse. Not sleeping was what really gets them. Then I think I got a second job.. didn’t last long. Used a bit more. Moved apartments in Jan 2020. Got sober for maybe 2 weeks? Couple days at least of straight sleep, no couch. Winter was sunny, again. Missed it.. really high and mostly 100% unsafe in my own home from family, police and the guy fucking me. Usually not loving. Brutally. I hadn’t slept so bad dream? No one was there except my Mom. I don’t know what she did at first but it wasn’t mean and I got kinda mad when I went back. Sober for another week. Always using because that’s why I stay awake. They’re worried about my safety. I pick up almost never but nobody asks me that. I got abused, drugs. Everyone’s mad. Chill on the blog. Soooo then got a job for legit 1 day at some bs. Got busy instead, might have stayed sober another week. Punched myself in the fucking face and went to the psych/ started being told to go to treatment. I laughed but went along with it. They were full because COVID but because I smoked meth my parents told me that I hardly even tried to get in. Witnesses. Classmates. Former. Mom hooked me up with CCC. Once. I went. That’s cool. Wanna talk for 15 mins? “You smoke meth?” “Yes” “that is your problem. You want to talk?” “Yes lol I’m high” “That’s cute. Your Mom asked if I could call after?” “This was supposed to work?” That was King St. Notched. Got high all day obviously lol. Slept every week who knows what the fuck that asshole was doing but some days I tripped balls straight up don’t talk about the hospital and my charges are mine, minus the fucking cop straight up punching me in the face then bending me over a bed. Plus the ones I didn’t lay. Whatever. Courthouse. I was high fr some those times. Tried to get help continuously when I was on my phone or had a car. Stolen. Thank God. I drive stick. I can see if they knew this at all why they would want answers from me, but truthfully avoid me in traffic. Sober again for a week after anytime I used pretty much, since my Mom found out. It uh, started coming to my apartment and my neighbours found out. Then fuuuuuuuuuuucking COVID. In March? Ok. Obviously at Cedar St first. Real beef. With drugs? Nobody could talk to me anymore. I was making no sense and who the fuck knows where They went. Jerking off in the kitchen because I was on my phone too much. Truthfully. Why the fuck not, I thought let’s be honest and we could have sex together. Hmu so he gave me straight up chlamydia while I cried in the basement. Disfigured. From staying awake waiting to feel.... safe. No. He raped me. Which to be fair, I had no one else around but an abuser and the police were trying to help him. Didn’t know I needed it. Assumed the people in my life were helping. I was the one on drugs remember? Ugh. Him too. So inconvenient when they’d come by after the gym to say “you’re smoking meth” Thank you. What now? Anyways got evicted from that place after robbed and trashed (me too) stayed sober for whatever, everyone went to jail jk bro code so he was good. I got help moving. Literally stalk me but don’t talk to me? Friendship. Respectfully, I have no friends left after that shit. Smoked meth. Didn’t tell anyone I needed help. They said it’s only a drug problem. 10 toes down for my cat and dog.
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