♡♡♡ @sotoxicfairy - Tumblr Blog

#venusangelic #venus angelic #november 2022

Yeah no this experience has confirmed to me that i have a fucked up brain chemistry. I genuinely cannot live a normal life like other people. There's actually something wrong with me and I'ma mess and a social outcast AND reject for a reason.

I thought drugs would make me feel better but they just make me feel worse

The guy im seeing would make it better by giving me a forehead kiss and holding my hand.

#im cooked. this is officially over. i genuinely like him which means he has power of me and can leave me broken like the last guy did.#that is always something im gonna keep at the back of my mind

I love that. That's my favourite thing to happen. Me ignoring the worlds (my messages) and people continuing to bombarded. me with them. Acting like the care, waiting patiently for an answer, being happy when i reply and desperately wanting to see me. Maybe i never actually ghost anyone maybe im just waiting for them to double-text me.

#it's good to feel wanted #but don't forget all feeling are temporary

I really do hate what i have become. What made me end up like this. The worst part is that i feel isolated and alone. I really shouldn't be feeling like this. Isolated and alone. That's me. Forever

I'm gonna ghost the friend who gave me that stuff. I know it's not her fault but i cant bare being with her right now i need a break from her, from everyone else and especially from myself

I wish i could get it out of my system but it's been like 10 hours since taking it. I can't just barf it out.

This experience will have consequences

After sleeping it's back again. I fucked up my brain chemistry and for what. To feel depression and anxiety more intensely than ever. I will never be a fun party girl. I will always be boring, homely and sober.

#doomed to be sober

This might also be the delusion bit ill be fine. Boring but fine.

I'm about to become sooo boring

#no more parties for me

notgreatbob

''i wasted those years'' who cares. you lived the only life you could've lived in those moments

Oh hey. I feel better now. I think this was just a bad come down. Idk i cried it out and now i feel more emotionally stable

Nothing matters but the guy I'm currently seeing

I guess this is meant to happen. Every few months i break down and can't stop crying. My head hurts and i wanna harm myself and destroy everything around me. Is this normal. Why does this experience follow me all throughout my life.

I can feel it coming. The shaving your head while going through deep emotional distress

Coke kills some people i wonder if id be happier if that happened to me. It's great im okay and safe and that i won't get addicted but like the situation I find myself to be in now is less than stellar

Is this what you wanted? Look at you drink and smoke and do drugs aren't you so cool.everythibg that happens is your fault. You're not meant to live you're not meant to have nice things. You're not and never have been a star. You're a nobody and nobody would care if you died.

You're not meant to be carex for or feel positive emotions you were doomed from the beginning. Every decision in your life has lead you to this state. You were so smart and hsd such a promising future look at you now. Still a lonely lonely loser who cries all the. It doesn't matter how you are or how much you earn or to how much you have seen. You will always ALWAYS stay what you are now. Pathetic.

Why why why why why

Why him why not me

Why never me

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