Summary: A secret is only as strong as its keeper and in the Night Court few are able to stay shrouded. Elain Archeron is no stranger to conformity but faced with the reality of her new life, she must decide how far she is willing to go to reclaim what has been lost.
A/N: I have unfortunately lost access to my old account @vanseerra so will be posting content here from now on. I wanted to write a fanfic inspired by what I believe could be in store for Elains future. This is just a small snippet so if you’re interested in reading more, don’t hesitate to say. Good to be back! :)
Chapter 1:
Putting pen to paper, more than anything, brought the shame to her door. It was in those evenings, huddled in a dark corner of the River House’s library, notebook clutched close to her skin where the true extent of her desires felt close to form. Perhaps it was the risk of discovery- that someday with an ounce of carelessness, that someone may discover the secrets she had sheltered within her mind for so long. It was one thing, all those summers ago, for her to express resentment at her situation like an angered child in the midst of a tantrum but now that dust had settled into the dull routine of complacency it felt like another beast.
She wasn’t used to living like this. Always passive Elain was no stranger to bearing longings on her shoulders and waiting for their inevitable passing. It was different now. Her sisters, once more, had waning patience for her flights of fancy, that were in reality, far from a fleeting fad.
The ink blotted on the parchment. These days, distraction came to her frequently. It was as if it were pressing her mind with a new urgency, like the moment of time may pass and leave her stuck in a reality even the bones in her body could not conform to accept.
It was no matter, the stain. The writings within her book were not to see the light of day to anyone but herself and the shelved walls encasing her. With a flick of her finger, she smudged the mark outwards, dragging the line until it was dry beneath her tips.
One glance to the arched window above her revealed the fading orange of a day closing. It was late summer and thus the night was bleeding into the day. Ironic, for somewhere seemingly so endlessly dark as the Night Court. Gods. How she hated it.
A lump formed in her throat and she clutched the pen tighter. Yes. This was why she was doing this. There was no use in pushing away the feelings that lit the fire behind her no matter the doubts that also bubbled alongside them.
Her sisters would not understand. At least, not at first. Could she handle that? She was no stranger to the thought now. For once, it had to be okay for them to be at odds with her. What was the alternative? To continue existing as she had been? Her throat tightened, gaze lifting once more to the dimming light as tears threatened to overwhelm her.
The library door creaked. She had company. With urgency she slammed shut the notebook and gripped the leather to her chest, its secrets hidden dutifully inside. Practised steps got her to her feet as she turned in preparation for the unexpected visitor. The flash of red told her who would be speaking before the warm timbre of his voice gave him away.
“Elain?”
Of course, out of all the guests of the River House, the one she was destined to tirelessly encounter was before her once more.
With taut lips she nodded her head, shielding her eyes from his view.
“Lucien.”
A silence dragged between them with a weight that told Elain exactly what was playing out before her. Even with eyes downturned she could see it. The way his mouth would open to engage her and then close, the small frown between his brows. This was a dance they had performed before. She couldn’t say she could blame him exactly. It wasn’t as if her welcome was disarming but then, why did it have to be?
“You’re up late.” He observed as she raised her head. Her thoughts confirmed then- the furrow on his brows remained.
“Is it?” She turned briefly to gaze upon the dimming sun she feigned to be a stranger to.
“I suppose so. I do get carried away in here.”
He smiled then- hesitant yet warm. Her next breath was deeper. It was hard to admit, even in her position, but there was a familiarity to Lucien that made her want to relax in his presence. It was a thought she dared not to engage.
“With so many stories it would be hard not to be.” He added, eyes darting to the clutched parchment at her chest. She shifted it then, holding it loosely to her side as she redirected the conversation.
“What brings you here?”
He blinked and the second dragged.
“Feyre summoned me.” He relented. “It appears I am all the more at her whims these days.” When she said nothing he added.
“Not that I mind. There’s lots here worth visiting for…” At that he faltered, with a gesture lacking confidence, pointed to the shelves surrounding them.
“Such as the books, for example.”
“And the business was successful?” Elain dodged, shifting her weight from one foot to the next.
“Indeed.” He relaxed, his expression dropping as he regarded his words. “I will be returning home shortly.”
The hum of silence was a companion to their conversations and today it seemed was no exception. She couldn’t deny there were questions forming behind pursed lips but the desire to extend them to him was a lost notion.
“I see.” Elain hummed. “Then, safe journeys to you.”
His eyes softened, a looseness to them.
“Until next time, lady.” Lucien tipped his head, eyes shadowed as he paused before turning on his heel to depart, coat trailing behind him.
It was mere seconds before only the shadow of him lingered in the library. His back was a sight she witnessed often. Things were safe like this. And yet…
With small steps, she edged towards the door. Her fingers gripped the frame as she dared herself to peek around its corner, as discreetly as she could manage. The long auburn of his hair trailed into the distance, rounding into the corridor only moments later. Her jaw clenched and she closed her eyes, leaning against the wood and willing the dull thrumming of her heart to contain itself. How her new body betrayed her.
