Southern Decay

2008 - 2015 The low life has lost its appeal. Rebecca Rae is an artist, wanderer, waif, and currently located in Brooklyn, New York by way of Birmingham, Alabama. Dedicated to the human condition, Southern Decay was an exercise in confession, an experiment in documentation of one's life, thoughts, and experience. To celebrate the everyday life through music, thought, cuisine, fashion, literature, and art. In hopes to inspire confidence and courage in young women with guidance through my personal achievements and struggles, to find solace in their own mind and individuality, and find the strength to pursue their dreams. Rebecca Rae left Southern Decay in 2015 after managing the blog for 7 years to pursue other projects. You can still follow her adventures on Instagram, @thatrebeccarae

[southerndecay]

And just like that, I realized I was still the tumblr girl, 15 years later, and still had so much more to say. Find me on substack.

[southerndecay]

Little to no importance:

This morning I walked out of my apartment to immediately slip on the icy sidewalk, hidden by six inches of snow. I fell backwards, cracking my head, the seemingly soft snow offering no pillow of protection from the pavement. I laid their for a few seconds, seconds that seemed to stretch time into slow motion. I looked at Brooklyn rooftops and streetlights, in awe of the snow fluttering down to my face before the pain began pulsing from the back of my skull. Rolling myself up, I walked with care back into my building. As soon as I was inside my apartment, I stripped clothing with every step until safely making back to bed. 

I've been laying here since, only getting up to make tea and swallow a small handful of Advil. Laying in this massive bed, watching the snow fall outside my window, my mind wandered off to this coming May, when I and the mister will be flying to Alabama for my older brother's wedding. 

In New York, the month of May is the last month where winter will grasp with its claws. The city will still be cool and gray, the beginnings of spring another month away. We'll be on a plane, and land in the southern state that will have exploded with the warm pastels of summer. Only sun dresses, sandals, and sunglasses will find their way into my suitcase that week. I cannot wait. 

In Auburn we'll see my brother marry the love of his life. In Atlanta I'll sit for a day long session to have my left thigh tattooed. We'll ride bikes, picnic in parks, drink mimosas in the sun, I'll see horses and run barefoot in the grass. I'll see family and friends that I haven't seen in the time I've lived in New York. 

What I look to most of all though, the world slowing down, if only for that week before we come back home. 

This New York winter has left me missing Alabama summer. 

[southerndecay]

No. Just, no.  This is why I don't like Christians, your proselytizing drives me up a wall. If believing in a god helps you in your life,if it makes you feel better about yourself and the world, by all means, believe. Do not, however, throw it in everyone else's life. It's terribly insulting, and makes you look like an ass. 

[southerndecay]

What? I'm sorry, but what would even possess you to say this? You followed me, and hopefully before clicking that little 'follow' button you checked out what is blog was about - the personal ramblings of a wandering young woman. Your comment was painful to read, not because of what you said - because it is all untrue - but due to your lack of grammar, punctuation, and inability to form a coherent thought in text. 

[southerndecay]

Yes! All of the books from this semester are for sale, except for the black leather bound journal... It's a gift for someone.

[southerndecay]

Hah, ok, let's limit it to anyone within a day's drive from New Orleans or Birmingham, AL. I don't think I'll be able to afford to fly anywhere. So NYC is a 16 hour drive from Birmingham. That may be the longest distance I'll be able to take on. 

[southerndecay]

Well, it isn't finished. The image only shows the height of the signatures unbound - being pressed by rubber bands - in relation to my first hardcover. As far as interesting? The plan is to make the a do-za-do coptic, which will be bad as shit hopefully. 

Oh, and your previous comments; nothing I've made has been a folio, only coptics.

[southerndecay]

I don't think it's strange at all. Printmakers already obsess over paper and how to expand the medium, it's only a natural progression. 

[southerndecay]

Visit Original Link

Echo, flutter, and fade. That resonates for some reason. 

Emotionally volatile, anxiety ridden, shaking, angry, and burning. Disenchanted - that's the word. Hours and days blend together and I'm starting to lose the ability to see up from down. The sound of of ice clinking the side of the glass ever so gently as the whiskey soothes my soul, relaxes muscles, is comforting in itself. The seats nearby are vacant, no one wants to sit next to the sad girl in the bar. It's not Christmas, this time of year isn't special, it's just cold and wet. 

Echo, flutter, and fade. Echo, flutter, and fade. Echo, flutter, and fade. 

[southerndecay]

Visit Original Link

This bed is large, with mountains made of goose down and soft pillows, all quilted and patterned. It’s dark and quiet, but not silent by any means. There’s the faint whisper of the ceiling fan, a low clicking as the chain taps the barrel. What’s missing is the ebb and flow of breath against the back of my neck, the weight of an arm thrown across my waist, fingers playing in my hair. It’ not the sex that I miss, but that intimacy that is so rare to come by, it’s as though I haven’t experienced it in years. There’s the easy smiles that come with that comfort. That’s what’s missing. 

[southerndecay]

What was relevant then is relevant now.

[southerndecay]

worst*

I am being real, every man I have ever been with, excluding one, has been dishonest and cheated. So yeah, in my mind, it's more likely a man is lying than he is being honest - and yes, omitting the truth is the same as lying. I'm hurt every time I try to step out from behind my walls. 

[southerndecay]

I haven't responded you the comments you guys leave nor the messages sent for a while, and now there are 336 new in my inbox. I'll get to them as soon as I can, but here are a few I was able to get to this morning. 

distant-signals: Jesus H Christ lady. Don’t bike during the daytime or you’re going to cause car accidents like crazy.

I hope you mean I'll be distracting them with my good looks. 

thatkidfromthatplace: What events do you race? Thats an awesome kit!

Thanks! I've been doing alley cats for the last 3 years or so. I started out on a beater of a Schwinn conversion that I retired and sold after the accident back in 2009. I just bought a track bike, the felt TK3, and would like to break into velodrome racing when/if possible. I am also looking at racing 'cross next season if I can afford the bike and the time off work every Sunday. But in all honesty, I also want to try criterium racing, but again, that would be another bike, ha! If you're still curious, the posts tagged #cycling should get you up to speed. 

greenorblue: Yea, I’m pretty sure I love you a little.

Right back at you :)

votrelouvel: I hope you know that you're ridiculously adorable! :3

You're sweet. You're awfully cute yourself sweet boy. 

jeanlikestea: i just wanted to say that i really enjoy your blog, we have a lot of in common, yet, there are some differences that are still intriguing. i think it is also neat that you are in birmingham, i'm in mobile. i'm not sure about you, but sometimes i feel like the only person in this godforsaken state. anyway, apologies for rambling, but keep up the great work! :)

You're sweet, thanks lady. I know the sentiment though, like you're alone in this place, but it's not so bad when you find ways to cope with it. We'll just have to keep working to get out of Alabama and the southeast as soon as possible. 

hellotomdyer: What is your favourite item of clothing and why?

That's a bot of an odd one, but I guess my favorite item of clothing would be one of my pairs of skinny jeans that I wear he most of any of them. Either them or my yoga pants that I change into as soon as I know I'm staying in the house the remainder of the day. 

olycam: That was your cover of B&W Magazine in August of 2008? Wonderful work. I've been a subscriber for almost five years and keep every issue.  Someday, I hope to get something published there.  Someday...

Yup, it was mine.  Keep trying, you'll get it. 

[southerndecay]

Hey, you can see my macbook's reflection in my glasses... Currently sans makeup in the drawing studio, waiting for ink to dry so I can keep working. I found out on today that I actually didn't need to retake this class as my advisor had told me, as I had dropped the BFA program to go BA, so I can graduate sooner and get out of this god forsaken city (and the south in general). Also, part of the decision  was made after finding out having only a BA would not hender me from graduating on into an MFA program, which is hopefully the next step in my career. 

2010, you've filled me with nothing but pain and frustration. 

p.s. I miss all my followers I lost in the destruction of my blog. Come back.