falling|in

documentation of thoughts via text and photographs. finding my muse in the dusty specks of life

[poetry-siir]

[amargedom]

“I’m beginning to know myself. I don’t exist. I’m the space between what I’d like to be and what others made of me. Just let me be at ease and all by myself in my room.”

— Fernando Pessoa

[southerntranse]

I grew up wanting to be Emily Dickinson but my name wasn’t Emily.

[southerntranse]

Having the most relaxed vacation of my life. I finished a whole book; I slept however long I wanted; I had a $150+ dinner date...

[southerntranse]

I know I’m doing well when I’m journaling on vacation, tbh

[southerntranse]

The sweetest thing in the world is when your bf gets up from his video game in the middle of a campaign to cheer you up because you didn’t end your week very well at work...

So cute

[bitchesgetriches]

I have a job most would consider great - I'm an exempt employee, with great health insurance, a 401k plan, and make enough to afford my own 1 bedroom for me and my two furry kids. Plus I'm paying down my debt! The only problem...I hate this job. I'm doing three people's work, and I often have to tell people really bad news. I also get regularly screamed at by management. In this environment I don't know if I'll can even afford to quit!

Oh hey! We covered this exact scenario in season 1 of the podcast:

Episode 005: "I Don't Love My Job, but It Pays Well. Should I Quit—or Tough It Out?" 

Buuuuut obviously things have changed since then. While normally we’d advise you to prioritize your health and well-being and USE DAT EMERGENCY FUND to quit before you have another job lined up... COVID-19 kinda blows all that advice out of the water.

If you can tough it out... do so. But definitely start setting aside time for a job search on the side. You need to move on if your job is making you miserable. And we’re here for you when you do!

[southerntranse]

woah - this is exactly how I felt... MBA time.

[southerntranse]

One of my colleagues asked me to translate a client’s employee benefit guide into Spanish this week and I turned that shit around in 3 days and was like yo - “the draft was actually wrong but I couldn’t edit that, soooo I know the version I just sent you is in Spanish but the carriers are wrong and the edits were for 2019-2021.”

I knew this because I went into the file and searched the marketing and realized the draft they sent me to translate wasn’t actually the final one.

So that pissed me off. So when I went to send my (finalized) Spanish translation, I copied my account exec (who I work with) and said that they needed to edit the draft because it was wrong (aka: please don’t ask me to translate your not-even-final draft and expect me to also make your edits for you).

[arzetweets]

[life-and-law-studies]

May 24, 2020 // I love my desk but this is my favorite spot

[southerntranse]

I am going to be able to pay off an entire credit card next month AND put down around $1500 onto another one in July, possibly being able to fully pay it off by August. 

Really just depends on how long this quarantine lasts.

[southerntranse]

I woke up in the middle of the night to horrible shoulder pain (I get frozen shoulder in my R shoulder about every 6-8 months) and it was so bad I was crying.

And Taylor woke up in the middle of the night with me and rubbed my shoulder and got me to stop crying and it was very sweet.

[thegoodvybe]

[southerntranse]

I have never been more in love ever ever ever.

[southerntranse]

My very favorite photo I ever took of my exhusband and his cat showed up on one of my memories on Facebook I think last week.

I deleted the photo (so I wouldn’t have that reminder again) and then I silently cried. It’s not because I miss my ex husband or that day. Or the photo I took. Nope. I miss that cat. I never gave myself time to grieve that I wouldn’t have that cat in my life again. I remember the last time I sat with her - before I absolutely knew everything would change and she sat half on my lap and half on the bed. She watched me while I tried to call her kitty dad and he dodged every one of my calls. Turns out he’d been at a lawyer to determine his options for divorce after I spent the day interviewing and preparing myself professionally, something he basically forced on me.

That cat was so sweet. So talkative. She was such a source of joy for both of us - she helped us be better humans just by caring for her. I miss that cat..

Missing that cat feels forbidden, it feels like a feeling I’m not allowed to have or like a feeling I never should have had. It doesn’t feel very good to feel like that. I hope I give myself the proper space to grieve my own loss of her even tho I know she’s still alive and likely thriving in Ryan’s life away from his with me.

[southerntranse]

Honestly I have no idea why I never talked about money with my ex husband. We were just so secretive and tiptoe-omg around one another about it. It drove me crazy.

Today I showed my boyfriend my accounts and all of my finances and said this is how I do my bill pay, my savings, and this is how I budget the leftover money I have after bills.

Mostly I’ve just been trying to pay down my credit card debt which would be amazing.

[6aint-deactivated20250716]

from “that’s my girl” to “that’s my wife”