eye of the beholder.

andrea lanzo + photographer amara kalode + server

[southncharm]

andrea — introduction.

amara — introduction.

[alkcline]

DANTE  DREW  IN  A  BREATH.  It  didn’t  use  to  be  this  hard  talking  to  Amara  and  yet,  here  he  was,  pinching  the  bridge  of  his  nose  in  annoyance  because  he  would  much  rather  do  this  some  other  place  at  some  other  time,  but  Dante  didn’t  want  to  feel  like  he  was  (once  again)  holding  her  back  from  living  the  life  that  she  had  always  wanted  and  deserved  to  live.  If  anything,  one  could  say  that  the  professor  would  have  given  Amara  the  world  if  he  could,  but  from  the  looks  of  it,  that  was  yet  another  thing  that  he  had  failed  to  accomplish.  A  sigh  escaped  his  lips  as  he  opened  his  eyes  and  his  gaze  found  hers.  God,  where  had  he  gone  wrong?  Why  couldn’t  he  see  that  even  though  they  were  so  much  alike,  their  biggest  difference  would  be  the  one  to  tear  them  apart? “  What  do  you  want  from  me,  Amara?  ”  He  asked  in  a  breath.  Yes,  Dante  knew  exactly  where  they  were  and  how  much  it  would  cost  him  to  stand  there  and  talk  to  his  ex-wife  in  the  middle  of  the  parking  lot.  “  You  asked  me  to  sign  the  papers,  I  signed  the  papers.  Figured  you  were  in  a  hurry  to  get  the  fuck  out  of  here,  like  you’ve  always  wanted  to.  ”  Leaning  back  against  the  car’s  door,  it  almost  felt  like  the  weight  of  having  that  conversation  was  starting  to  crush  him.  Right  now,  standing  under  the  moonlight,  it  almost  broke  his  heart  all  over  again  to  watch  her  and  see  her  this  beautiful.  Dante  had  to  make  a  mental  note  not  to  ask  any  questions  about  her  life  outside  of  Deer  Valley.  The  less  he  knew,  the  better.  “  I  don’t  know,  something  tells  me  that  if  I’d  asked  some  days  to  read  the  files,  you’d  probably  find  an  excuse  to  belittle  me,  wouldn’t  you?  ”  Hadn’t  she  done  so  when  he  asked  her  to  wait  a  few  days  before  submitting  the  papers?  “  Feels  like  I  can’t  win  when  it  comes  to  this.  Us.  ” Not  that  there  had  been  any  ‘us’  for  the  last  six  years,  but  Dante  wasn’t  going  to  stumble  onto  his  own  words  and  correct  himself.  Whatever  was  said,  he  would  keep  his  words  and  not  change  them.  “  You’re  what?  ”  The  professor  blinked  a  couple  of  times,  then  pushed  himself  away  from  where  he’d  been  leaning  against  after  the  younger  woman  mentioned  staying  in  town  because  she’d  gotten  a  job.

 “  Let  me  see  if  I  get  this  straight…  "  Once  again,  Dante  pinched  the  bridge  of  his  nose.  He  could  feel  a  small  hint  of  a  headache  starting.  "  First,  you  get  all  frustrated  about  me  asking  you  to  wait  to  submit  the  papers,  going  on  about  having  a  life  to  get  back  to  in  New  York,  then  you’re  sticking  around  because  you  got  yourself  a  job?  ”  He  furrowed  his  brows  as  he  watched  her.  Did  she  use  to  be  this  confusing?  Dante  couldn’t  say  that  he  remembered  her  like  that.  “  Seriously,  Amara…  what  do  you  want  from  me?  I  need  you  to  tell  me  because  I  honestly  don’t  understand  you.  Next  thing  I  know  you’ll  want  us  to  pop  a  bottle  of  champagne  and  drink  to  the  good  old  days?  Or  would  it  be  to  our  divorce?  ”

[southncharm]

'what do you want from me?'

Something. She didn't know quite what it was, but Amara knew that she had wanted some sort of reaction from him rather than stoic emptiness when he'd put pen to paper and signed away their marriage. It wasn't fair given the fact that she'd continuously run away from their sacred union and only returned to face it when she was ready to put an end to it. But this wasn't about fair. Emotions and expections weren't always fair or even comprehensible and this certainly wasn't any of that... much less to her.

"I don't know. i mean, I'm not saying that I need anything from you but I just expected that you would take a second." Frustration was creeping up but it was at her own inability to keep her emotions at bay when it came to these things. "I am in a hurry to get this over with but I want to do it right." The last thing they both deserved was to have to go through all of this a year later once they found out that something was missing or not filed correctly.

"Be-little you?" Her hands found her hips in a defensive stance, squaring her shoulders and narrowing her eyes. This sort of interaction had been rare from them as they'd never fought much while they were married so she was slightly taken back on how to even go into an accusation such as this one. "How do you think I would be-little you? I've never done that. At least not intentionally, but it seems like you feel that i've done something intentionally to hurt you. I know that my actions have hurt you, Dante, but you have to know that they were never directed towards you. I needed to make certain decisions for myself and I'm sorry that you were hurt in the process of that but I've never gone out of my way to do something to you out of spite, anger, or anything else."

She was a lot of things. Selfish, rude, conceited at times. But never had she been someone who was cruel. Certainly not to someone that she loved.

As he spoke again, she held back the roll of her eyes because she couldn't understand how they were here now. They'd once been able to communicate without even uttering a word but now it felt like everything she was saying was being twisted or miscomprehended. Perhaps distance away and growing up to be different people would do that. "That's not it."

"I found a job before because I've been here for a few weeks trying to figure out how to approach the situation. My landlord had flagged that i was late on my rent so I found a job as a means to give myself more time before I got into all of this." It was a means to have control over the situation in order to get it done the way that she felt most comfortable but tonight had changed all of that. "I'm fine with being here for longer but I anticipated that since you signed, I'd stay here for the length of it getting processed in case something else was needed. Not an extra time before filing it— but I did tell you that it was okay to wait a week. So, truly, I don't know what you want more from me?"

"God! You must think I'm some cold bi— person who just strides in demanding a divorce and that I'm just doing jumping jacks over it. Like, do you even remember what type of person that I am?" Her gaze met his and searched it for some kind of recognition in there. "I wasn't upset. I merely was exasperated for a second! God forbid! You're acting like I'm some kind of monster. I'm not asking for you to spend time with me. If you want to avoid me then by all means, but no, I wasn't going to ask us to kumbaya about all of this. I thought we could be cordial in the least. But since you're feeling some kind of way, how about you just get it all out since you've already started."

[alkcline]

AERI  DIDN’T  KNOW  MUCH  ABOUT  BEING  IN  THE  SYSTEM.  She  knew  about  moving  while  young,  but  nothing  else  in  between.  Besides,  there  has  always  been  this  strange  desire  of  belonging  in  her  that  often  made  her  adapt  to  different  people  and  different  places  with  ease.  ❝  Believing  in  luck  and  curses  would  mean  that  you  also  believe  in  meritocracy,  which,  I’m  sure  you  don’t…  so…  ❞  Biting  soft  on  her  bottom  lip,  Aeri  then  moved  across  her  own  kitchen  to  fill  a  glass  of  water  for  herself.  Drinking  was  nice  and  all,  but  she’d  learned  the  hard  way  to  always  match  wine  with  water,  especially  if  she  was  planning  on  working  the  following  day  (which  she  was.  Even  if  she  wasn’t  driving  to  Denver  for  it). A  lot  of  things  were  off  about  what  Amara  was  saying,  but,  instead  of  being  an  annoyance,  Aeri  decided  that  it  was  none  of  her  business  and  that  she  wasn’t  going  to  keep  poking  the  other  woman  about  it.  It  was  a  journalist’s  job  to  remain  impartial  anyway.  ❝  I  know  you  didn’t  ask  for  my  opinion,  but  more  than  ‘fitting  to  someone’s  mold’,  you  should  find  your  own  to  fit  into.  ❞  And  maybe  she  wasn’t  talking  about  herself  when  she  mentioned  someone  else  fitting  into  that  mold,  but  as  someone  who  had  done  that  a  lot  when  it  came  to  her  romantic  partners,  Aeri  felt  like  she  needed  to  say  something  about  it.  ❝  Believe  me…  I  would’ve  loved  to  find  someone  who  fell  madly  in  love  with  me  and  I  could  finally  be  myself  with,  but  that  hasn’t  happened  yet.  ❞  Some  days,  she  felt  like  it  never  would.  That  everyone  around  her  would  be  happily  married,  with  kids  on  the  way  and  she  would  only  have  her  work  to  account  for,  which  was  also  an  important  part  of  herself.  It  just  wasn't  all  of  herself.  And  yet,  the  world  kept  on  spinning.  ❝  So,  the  roast  is  because  you’re  anxious  about  giving  him  the  papers?  ❞

[southncharm]

Her mouth parted and her brows knitted together as she mouthed the word back to her friend. Amara wasn't the brightest light in the showroom but she knew that word was also an hard one. "Can you use that in a sentence? No, I'm kidding. Except I'm not. I don't think I know the definition of that word so you're probably right." That she didn't believe in that. Frankly, she hadn't really put much thought in whether or not she was cursed but more that she was someone who attracted something that just didn't appeal to her. No matter how hard she wished for an outcome, it never came true.

The truth was that she hadn't put much thought into any of this. As always, impulsivity took over and given that she wasn't one that worked well under stress— she did everything not to think with the decisions she was making. She'd impulsively decided that she needed to get divorced immediately but dragged her feet rather than actually thinking about the ins and out of asking Dante for a divorce by finding a job here, finding ridiculous recipes to focus on, do anything but hunt him down and serve him the papers. "I think if I had to sit down and really think about it," she chewed on the inside of her cheek. "It had nothing to do with the mold. Well, I don't know. I feel like it could have worked if I wanted to stay here." They'd been so in love that she couldn't fathom not finding ways to make things work but being married required them sharing a life together and that wasn't plausible if she wanted her life to be elsewhere.

"The roast is because I don't want to think about it. I'm kind of panicking about seeing him again and I don't know why." Perhaps it was being in town, or seeing him, or maybe this new big shift in her life. This newfound desire to be with someone longterm and to have something similar to what she'd had in the past.

[alkcline]

IT  ONCE  AGAIN  DAWNED  ON  HIM  THAT  MAYBE,  just  maybe,  they  had  never  been  compatible  to  begin  with.  Both  with  different  dreams,  different  aspirations,  but  the  same  desire  to  love  and  be  loved—and,  just  like  it  had  been  proven  true,  love  wasn’t  enough  to  keep  two  people  together.  ❝  I  don’t  need  your  apologies.  ❞  He  thought  about  how  things  had  ended  more  often  than  not.  He  thought  about  how  he  should  have  let  her  go  much  sooner,  or  maybe  tried  harder  to  make  her  accept  Deer  Valley,  but  it  had  always  been  clear  that…  ❝  You’ve  always  been  crystal  clear  about  how  you  felt  about  this  town.  It’s  on  me  for  not  paying  more  attention.  ❞  He  admitted,  in  defeat.  Because  if  he  had,  then  they  probably  wouldn’t  have  gotten  married  in  the  first  place.  They  would  have  had  their  fling  and  would  have  gone  on  their  way.  No  harm  done,  no  painful  goodbye.  Or  maybe  he  would  have  even  gotten  a  goodbye.  But  Dante  had  been  so  wrapped  around  her  little  finger,  so  blindly  following  her  around  like  an  obedient  puppy  that  he  couldn’t  see  what  was  right  in  front  of  him,  screaming  to  get  away  from  Deer  Valley  the  first  chance  she  got.  He  thought  that  traveling  every  summer  and  for  the  holidays  could  help  quench  her  thirst  for  getting  away,  but  maybe  it  only  fed  into  her  need  to  leave.  After  all,  why  stay  in  a  small  town  when  the  rest  of  the  world  was  waiting  for  you?

Once  everything  was  said  and  done  and  Dante  met  her  outside  to  finally  sign  the  papers  she  had  brought  there  to  serve  him,  the  young  professor  still  tried  to  remain  composed.  She  had  asked  for  civility  and  he  had  no  reason  to  be  angry  at  her  anymore.  Six  years  had  passed.  He  didn’t  even act  married  anymore,  so  why  was  he  angry?  Yet  something  else  for  him  to  discuss  with  his  therapist  and  try  to  understand,  but  he  had  decided  he  wasn’t  going  to  be  angry  at  Amara  anymore.  Relationships  ended  every  day.  More  often  than  they  started.  ❝  Amara,  I  never  told  you  not  to  go  back  to  New  York.  ❞  Dante  explained  as  he  took  the  papers  from  her  hands  and  leaned  them  against  her  car’s  window  to  sign  them.  ❝  I  just  asked  you  to  wait  a  little  to  submit  them  to  your  lawyer,  that’s  all.  Don’t  worry,  I  wasn’t  the  reason  you  stayed  here  six  years  ago,  I  won’t  be  the  reason  you  stay  now.  ❞  Especially  when  their  feelings  had  changed  and  resentment  had  blossomed  between  them.  Or  maybe  it  was  only  in  Dante’s  heart.  Still,  his  words  harbored  no  ill-intentions  or  heaviness  as  he  said  them.  Maybe  it  was  his  way  of  saying  goodbye.  Letting  go  of  what  he  had  started  to  five  years  ago.

He  clicked  his  pen  off  and  handed  her  the  signed  papers.  It  was  official  now.  They  had  absolutely  no  ties  holding  them  to  one  another  and  maybe,  if  things  had  happened  on  a  lighter  note,  they  would  have  celebrated  with  one  last  hurrah  in  bed,  but  now,  his  chest  felt  heavy,  his  brain  was  foggy  and  his  shoulders  hung  weary.  ❝  I  appreciate  the  week  though,  Ames.  ❞  Even  the  nickname  he’d  once  used  so  tenderly  with  her,  now  felt  dry  on  his  tongue.  Everything  in  this  life  ended.  The  things  we  held  dear  just  tended  to  hurt  more  than  the  others.  With  those  last  words,  Dante  stepped  closer,  eyes  searching  for  any  sign  of  denying  his  approach,  even  more  when  his  hand  wrapped  around  the  nape  of  her  neck  and  he  leaned  in,  pressing  a  kiss  on  her  forehead.  ❝  I  hope  you’ve  found  all  that  you  were  looking  for  out  there.  ❞  He  said,  before  stepping  back  and  granting  her  space  once  more.  After  their  heated  argument  in  the  middle  of  the  condiments  aisle,  it  was  indeed  odd  that  Dante  had  stripped  off  of  that  resentment  and  animosity,  but  what  else  could  he  do?  Scream  and  kick  his  feet  like  a  pathetic,  spoiled  child?  ❝  You  take  good  care  of  yourself,  yeah?  ❞ 

One  last  nod  shot  at  her  direction  and  Dante  turned  around,  aiming  to  go  back  to  his  car.

[southncharm]

Her mouth parted to try and argue but she knew that revisiting what could have been done differently, or should have been spoken about, six years later was a waste of time for the both of them. They both should have put more emphasis on what they wanted and where they saw their future rather than so focused on the right now with each other. It was as if nothing else existed except them whenever they found themselves in the same room and though she hadn't been sure what her future looked like with him then, all Amara cared about was that there was one. She assumed they'd figure it out at a latter time. When that time never came, she found herself panicked. "Can we talk about this somewhere else?" Ears were everywhere in this little town and she didn't know why she cared but she was highly aware of the way gossip could spread like wildfire. She was still in town, and despite having no reason to ever come back to this town after they divorced, it still gnawed at her.

She wondered if he believed that she had made it big in new-york city? Perhaps it was the belief that people had to be a big shot to be able to survive in a city that was so expensive— and for a lot of people it was the case— except Amara was working multiple jobs in order to pay her bills. Sure, she would return to new-york and file the papers there and have her lawyers figure out the rest but she didn't know how complex things would get. Whether or not she would need to return because there was an issue or they would need to discuss certain things. When she'd left, whatever belongings still remained had been left behind with the idea that Dante could keep them but she didn't know the logistics and whether she'd forgotten something they may have owned together in the past. "I'll figure it out, don't worry about it." Amara would stay in town and make it work. She was nothing if not resilient. Plus she'd already found a job serving food so she could continue with that for the next few weeks and ensure that her bills were paid. It wasn't like there was much to spend her money on in this town.

When he took the papers and placed them on the hood of the car to sign without so much as glancing at the documents, her gaze fixed on him for any signs of sorrow or sadness. She didn't know why she'd hoped to see a flash of something. Or why she felt gutted when there weren't any sign of anything other than a blank canvas. He'd signed them so easily. As easily as she'd signed them, she supposed. Just when she felt herself coming down from the disappointment, the sudden touch had her reeling in a way she hadn't anticipated. Her heart leapt, stomach dropped, and her heart felt like it would explode in her chest cavity. He smelt the same way and she hated that it was the first thought that came to mind. Despite knowing that she wasn't that girl who was madly in love with him all those years ago, she knew her body still recognized him and memorized the moments they'd shared. Her mouth parted, unsure how to even speak despite the thousands of questions and comments that came to mind. "I...." She cleared her throat, dipped her head in the hopes it would hide the slight flush she could feel rise upon her cheeks.

"That's it?" She heard herself say with mild insult. "I mean, I came all this way to get you to sign these papers and you do it without even glancing at them. I could be asking for half of your income or house." She was certain that wouldn't exactly be allowed but there could be some obscure demand in there. "You're just sending me back on my way." The cringe on her expression was from a slight hint of shame at her own words because she knew what he would say. That she had been the one to leave and how little problem she had doing that. She'd set herself up for it.

"I'm going to stick around town because I found a job and I just want to make sure this gets done right." God, she hated that it could perhaps make it seem like she was staying for other reasons. He'd made it clear that this could have all been done through their respective lawyers but she'd gone out of her way to show up in person.

"So, I'll maybe see you around." He could tell her to take care again then, and she'd do the same.

[ard0rs]

⋆.°    ᝰ.ᐟ     when the door swings open to reveal amara with a bottle of wine in hand,  maxine is quick to step aside and welcome her into her home.  and while she can’t begin to imagine what it feels like to go through a divorce,  the least she could do is lend an ear to the older woman.  what are friends for,  right  ?  five years in this town has seriously made her a far more welcoming than before considering her neighbor has only been in town for about a week.  “  lucky for you,  i’m not  !  ”  max shuts the door behind her and makes a beeline for the kitchen to grab a glass for herself.  setting it down on her coffee table,  she pours some wine for herself.  “  so what’s on your mind  ?  something tells me it’s bad if you’ve already started drinking without me.  ”

[southncharm]

bad wouldn't have been how she described her run in with dante. horrible, traumatic, or the worst thing to ever happen to her. then again, she'd always been a little dramatic. "you have no idea what just happened to me. i'm going to need to finish this before i can get into it." she took her seat and finished the glass, not being graceful in the way she downed it as if it was nothing but room temperature water. "you know i came here to hand my estranged husband some divorce papers. well, i ran into him in the middle of the grocery store." her hand rose to signal there was more, but she halted to allow that information to be digested. "if that wasn't bad enough, i then blurted out that i was in town to divorce him and he just... up and signed them in the actual parking lot like it was nothing." it was what she ultimately wanted, but traumatic no less.

[windflowz]

     jai’s mouth twitches at that, not  quite  a  smile  yet  but  close  enough  to  count  as  he  leans  one  forearm  against  the  counter  and  gives  her  a  knowing  look.  “  doing  your  part  for  the  community.  very  civic-minded  of  you,  andrea.  ”  her  idea  gets  a  quieter  laugh  out  of  him  and  this  time  the  smile  does  show,  crooked  and  brief.  “  that  would  be  nice  but  it  doesn’t  work  like  that, you'd clean me out!  not a bad idea for a business though, i’ll keep it in mind if i ever get into the café game.  ”  his attention drifts to the cabinet then, already sorting through options before he reaches in and pulls something out.  “  mellow  without  turning  into  furniture,  that  i  can  do,  ”  he  adds,  setting  a small tin between them. inside, a neat row of pale, sugar-dusted gummies, a little softer-looking than the usual ones on display.  “  new batch. this  one  takes  the  edge  off  without  knocking  you  flat,  so  you  can  still  function  and  keep  blessing  the  town  with  your...  deeds.  ”  he  teases,  the  corner  of  his  mouth  lifting.  “  that's about as easy as i'd go.  ”

[southncharm]

"that's what i strive to be." she said with a smile as she planted her elbow on the counter and cupped her cheek in the palm of her hand. the truth was that andrea did the bare minimum to get by and was set on just having fun the rest of the time. that usually consisted of a bit of trouble and chaos. "see, not just a pretty face. there's something in here." she tapped her temple before peering down at the items in the clear case. a few new things she hadn't noticed before but nothing that she required this time. "that's exactly what i need." a hand reached out to look over the packet in hand, peering at the description. "i'll get a pack of those and maybe a few rolled joints. i bought a sativa one last time but i can't remember the name."

[perdvre]

"i  think  that  'pends  largely  on  what  you  classify  as  fun.  me  personally,  i  try  to  steer  clear  of  the  kind  that  ends  with  a  shot  of  penicillin,"  colt  replied  as  he  followed  her  gaze  around  the  room,  a  rare  ghost  of  a  smile  working  its  way  across  his  features.  she  actually  seemed  to  think  there  really  was  a  blonde  with  a  bad  choice  in  radio  songs.  probably  made  more  sense  for  him  being  here  if  there  had  been.  at  least  then  he'd  have  someone  else  to  blame  other  than  himself.  "don't  worry.  i'll  give  a  yell  if  she  looks  like  she's  headin'  over  this  way.. least i can do for the guru of the cheeseboard." he  took  a  tentative  bite  from  the  cheese  cube,  his  lips  pursing  into  a  thin  line  as  he  begrudgingly  swallowed  it  a  few  seconds  later,  almost  immediately  looking  for  the  least  offensive  looking  glass  of  red  to  wash  it  down  with.  if  the  back  end  of  a  skunk  had  a  flavour  profile,  he  imagined  it  would  have  been  an  improvement  on  whatever  that  fancy  hell  vieux  pane  purported  to  be.   "you  might  sound  city,"  he  managed  with  a  grimace,  taking  a  sip  of  wine.  even  that  didn't  taste  right.  “but  i  guess  if  you're  walkin'  around  offerin'  folks  white  pills  from  a  ziplock,  you  must  just  be  fittin'  in  around  here  after  all.”

[southncharm]

she can't help but smile because he's got her there. he would definitely be in need of a shot of penicillin after that type of night. "smarter than you look," her pointer finger shot up towards him, "especially for a cowboy who rides on the back of a thousand pound horse that can bend you in half with one wrong kick to the gut." as for her, she avoided being near animals that weighted more than double digits. it wasn't worth the risk. "it's only a matter of time before someone yells so maybe a whistle and preferably with some direction. left, right. give me a few seconds head start so i can figure out which is which." she rose her right hand to make an L with her thumb and index finger only to realize it was wrong. "the right and left never stuck."

her fourth, or maybe it was sixth, foster home had tried to instilled manners into her. reminded her that judging a book by its cover was rude but here she was, judging and stereotyping. she figured he would have left by now if he couldn't take a joke. "i try hard." not to sound like city but to sound like she didn't come from here— which she did. "i guess you can try to shake off deervalley but deervally can't shake you." but she tapped the baggie in hand. "it's lactaid. i was going to offer some up to ensure that we didn't piss off the missus any further by having you think of me later on when you find out that you should have, in fact, taken those little white pills from that one stranger."

[forgtnghost]

Maybe it meant something. Maybe some things aren’t meant to be known. Maybe they are just meant to be accepted. Or at least that had been Caden's logic. He had accepted that somehow back to that night a year ago - it had been a moment. They had gotten caught up. It was new territory and he was adamant then to not even think of the possibilities. The conclusion was to push it to the side and of course distance himself. Because he was fearful things would change, that she wouldn't be his rock anymore. Sex complicates things. He didn't know much but he knew that. But perhaps, that had a deeper meaning. One that Caden seemed to ignore. That he cared and valued her with everything in him and he was scared shitless that it would break their friendship. A bond that he never really wanted to lose. It wasn't meaningless. "I never intended to make you feel less than what you are."

Of course he had a terrible way of showing from basically ghosting her after that night. Caden sighed, slightly turning his head and looked at her. She at least deserved to know he was being sincere with his next words. The truth often can be found in one's eyes. "It wasn't nothing." For now that was all he could voice out. Or wanted to - he wasn't so sure which was the most rational in the present in that moment. However he did nod at her validation - that she knew he cared. Hearing it out loud was a relief but he made him recoil internally knowing that was a common theme. His inability to voice stuff out in the open, even if it didn't need to be said. Sometimes it was a nice change at least on the receiving end. Maybe not the best at words - Caden was far from oblivious. Especially when it came to the other. Time was a teacher and he quickly picked up on certain mannerisms. So, without a second thought - he shrugged off the Levi's Denim jacket he currently had been wearing and motioned it forward for her to take if she saw fit. It probably would drape over her but perhaps it would make her feel more comfortable in the current setting they were in. "If it smells like smoke, I'm sorry in advance." Though, in the back of Caden's mind he probably should have apologized for something else first. "Was it normal for you?" He asked before he could stop the words coming from his own mouth. Almost clearing his throat too. "But yeah, people are always going to assume with how attached we were." Those kind of opinions never phased Caden. It wasn't something he felt he needed to prove otherwise just for the sake of it. He was secure enough in their dynamic that her opinion was the only one that really mattered.

"But I was probably some invisible nudge. I don't know, I just don't want you to look back and have that as a regret or something." Because clearly she ended up coming back to Deer Valley. Like he had. And they both were so set on never returning. They were way bigger than this town. Always had been. There it was again - guilt. It followed him like a shadow. Guilt is a weight that will crush you whether you deserve it or not. "But you're passionate about what you do right?" His tone had subtle signs of concern. Passion kept the spark alive. Most jobs didn't have that. Or people were too afraid to go after their dreams just for the sake of some soft cushion to land. Because it was easy. He wondered what she would have done or what direction she would have taken for something that she thought she might not be good at. "As corny as it sounds - I'm not sure there's anything I really recall that you're bad at if it means anything." The next set of words she uttered made him stop breathing for a second. Her life was better with him. That had been the opposite cognitive approach he held for himself. Even to the distant past - with him making a decision to leave Deer Valley. To the time the news about cancer with his Mother. To the hardships of the ranch being sold. Caden didn't budge and didn't try to do something for those moments of hardships and despair. The common denominator was he couldn't fix things. He probably would have made things worse so he stayed far away. But hearing it from her, that reassurance even if she hadn't meant the severity - it soothed all the doubts, all his issues with self worth that he kept hidden. "I'm not so sure rebuilding is being a bouncer in the town that I quite sprinted from all those ages ago." He wanted to scoff but he didn't. But that was his to bare. "Still think you should just let me take the blame. It's alright, this may have been the most we have talked but my ego isn't that inflated. I know I should have handled it better." Instead of letting his own insecurities take the reigns. "So, what do we do now? Clearly, my track record with ideas and what I think is right are all like a dumpster fire. I'm open to suggestions."

[southncharm]

Andrea wanted to ask what it meant to him, purely because the question had been haunting her ever since it happened. She'd convinced herself that it must have not meant a lot or that it meant too much that it frightened him— and now she was faced with the latter idea but she couldn't wrap her head around that. Around what it could mean if that was the case and where they went from there. Perhaps not knowing was the easier and safer route here. But the fact that they hadn't talked about it was what got them in this predicament in the first place and now she wasn't certain if that was much better. "I didn't know how to handle it and wanted to know what was going on in your head but I think I was also afraid." She chewed on the inside of her cheek. It wasn't all his blame to take because she could have hunted him down and demanded answers but she hadn't. The space had been allowed to grow by both of them.

Still, she was fearful to discuss what happened and whether or not there was a reality where they could return to being friends or whether they were too far gone that they should just go their own ways. It felt tragic either way. More-so because understood that any friendship they had before this wouldn't be the same as it was. How could it be? There would always be something looming over them and the fact that they'd crossed that line would return whenever they got in a situation where they were drunk, or alone together, or if someone brought it up. Nevertheless, there was a brief glimpse of the boy she had grown to love as a friend first and foremost when he shrugged his jacket off and extended it towards her as an offering. She wasn't going to take it but a breeze brought forth goosebumps and it pushed her forward to take the jacket from his hand and slide it on. It smelt like him. The same as he'd always smelt and she couldn't help but tighten it around her body as a means for it to soak into her clothes long after she returned it back to him. "Thank you." Andrea mumbled after she pulled her hair from beneath the jacket and let it fall over her shoulders. "It smells like you." She added with a shrug to indicate that she'd never cared about the smell. Not then, not now. "Normal?" She cleared her throat and thought about it for a second, peering down at the toe of her boot while she kicked at a pebble that was nearby. "I don't think it was ever normal but it become my life as much as it was yours so I just dealt with it." It hadn't bothered her at the time because she ignored it but now that she was out of it, she could realize how fucked up it had been. "I don't think it mattered what people thought because I knew you so well and you were never a question mark— like I know you better than I know myself it feels like. Or felt like."

Even through the ups and downs in his career, he'd always been the same Caden in her eyes. The boy she'd grown up with and the man who she considered to be the closest person to her. Even as he stood there, she felt like she could read his mind apart from the little bit he kept deliberately hidden from her. "I don't regret anything. I was living it up with you and that's exactly where I wanted to be. There was a lot of benefits that came with riding your coattails. I got some job offers, made a lot of money, and a lot of people were able to reach out to me when they saw the pictures I would take of you on stage and off stage." It had been a big bonus for her work and she was eternally grateful for that because not everyone who made it big continued on with the same people they'd grown up with. "I'm passionate about it but I also haven't really tried anything else, you know." It was something she'd thought about more recently and wondered if perhaps it was time to put down the camera and see what else sparked her interest. But she wasn't sure if it was more so boredom or the fact that she was actually reaching some kind of midlife crisis. The mention of his new career choice made her nod, more so in agreement than anything else. "I think that you put too much pressure on yourself. No one hates you as much as you do yourself and I've got half a mind to think that if you wanted to go back to it, you could. It wouldn't be easy but you could do it. That's if, the old bouncer gig gets old." He was made to sing and she hated to think he was wasting it the way he was but it was ultimately his decision. It might take him time but she always had fate that he'd made the right one in the end for himself. She flashed him a smile when he asked that he take the blame and she didn't agree or not. They were both to blame. She'd settle on that but allow him to carry the weight a little while longer. "I don't know where we go from here." It would be easier to walk away and harder to try and rebuild something. "We can start with you giving me a ride because I don't know that I'm going to get anywhere waiting for a ride at this time." It was a start, and then they would have to see. "As for the rest, I guess it depends on what you want."

[alkcline]

WHY THE HELL WOULD AMARA WANT TO PERFECT HER SPEECH WAS BEYOND HIM, but Dante allowed her to speak anyway. Even if she brought up him being snarky, which, in his own pitiful opinion, he was entitled to. He had been the one kicked to the curb and left behind without as much as an explanation, and when he did try to get one, all he was able to earn from his ex-wife was a definite goodbye and that the relationship they had so carefully cultivated for all those years, had ended for her. Now, coming back to Deer Valley and telling him she didn’t serve him the papers any sooner was because she was perfecting her speech truly made him want to laugh. He could’ve said something meaner, he could’ve made great use of the words he would read in those old books and that haunted his evenings with painful goodbyes and several ways to drive the knife into someone’s heart and twist it to the point of agony, but as he opened his mouth to reply to the snarkiness comment, Amara went ahead and said yet another thing that simply made his blood boil. Oh, if only he could scream his agony away.

❝ Yes, Amara. I have definitely been sitting here, waiting and wishing you’d come back so that I could ask you all those questions. I mean, it’s not exactly a conversation if I’m talking to a dead line or a closed door, is it? ❞ Which was what had happened the first times he had tried contacting her after she’d left. A phone that went straight to voicemail until the number had been disconnected and then, finally, a year later, he was able to hear her voice, but it wasn’t as sweet and as loving as before. ❝ Aw, that’s very thoughtful of you to ask. ❞ He said as sarcasm coated his words. His hand rested against his chest as Dante cocked his head to the side, his gaze never leaving his ex-wife. ❝ Maybe I do need six more years. How about I take a page off your book and hide away for those six years so that I can ‘perfect my speech’ too, huh? ❞ His therapist wouldn’t be that much satisfied with his reaction, but then again, who was counting on his ex showing up all of a sudden and making him relive those years of agony and pain? Definitely not him. His fingers itched to reach out and touch her as she didn’t seem real enough. None of this seemed real enough. It felt like a fever dream. Like the ones he used to have, in which he still saw her sharing their bed, he could still smell her next to him and hear her voice at night.

Yet, his fingers remained perfectly attached to the shopping cart he had been pushing around ever since he got there. He wasn’t going to open up about seeing his therapist again. He wasn’t going to tell her about being too busy struggling to keep his head above water not to look for her and hand her the papers. Maybe he should have. Maybe, when he felt more like himself, he should’ve put his big boy pants on and served her the papers, after all, they weren’t married anymore in her book. ❝ You don’t need me to check in on you. You’re perfectly fine, Amara. ❞ He said. His mama had raised him better. She would’ve smacked the back of his head for not checking in on a woman who had fallen, but also, Dante was fairly certain that his mother would excuse his behavior, after all, she’d seen how devastated her boy had gotten with the separation. ❝ I don’t fuck where I eat. ❞ He said it simply. Any other trace of further explanation about her assumption was not brought up. Because no, not only was this any of her business or concern, but also, he was not getting involved with any teachers in this–how had she once called it? Dead-end town? Who knew, maybe his recollection of their arguments weren’t exactly how they had happened. Time and alcohol had taken great care of it.

Dante exhaled sharply. Almost as if it were physically painful for him to be in the same space as her again. If he texted Sebastian for a hook up, would that be a bad thing? They hadn’t spoken in a few weeks, so maybe he shouldn’t… but now, his skin was crawling, like there were ants making him feel restless in Amara’s presence. ❝ I guess I’ll meet you outside, then. ❞ He said, before forcing himself to step into another direction. All of a sudden, the grocery shop seemed extremely small for the two of them. But he did what he had to do and focused on the list his mother had sent him. Sometimes, his gaze would find her in the crowd, either checking prices or reading labels and Dante would sigh. A divorced man. One signature away from officially changing his title in governmental things or polls or–whatever asked him to put his marital status. Fuck, he was going to have to do his taxes all over again, wasn’t he?

By the time Amara met him outside, he had had some time to think this through and had already placed his shopping in his car and hoped this wouldn’t take long. Actually, she was probably going to hate him for what he was about to ask her. ❝ Hey, listen, Amara. ❞ He started, rubbing one hand over his face, before he turned around and opened the door of his car so he could reach into his glove compartment to produce a pen from inside it. ❝ If you could wait a couple of weeks to submit them that would be great? Just so I can talk to my accountant about it because I don’t really have time to re-do all of my taxes. I’m sure you understand. ❞

[southncharm]

She deserved that. Even after she left him high and dry, he'd been the one to come hunt her down for closure that, while he deserved without a doubt, shouldn't have been his burden to seek out. Amara could have left some sort of note explaining her reasoning or that she had no plans on returning back into the town she'd always been so eager to leave behind. At the time, it made sense to the impulsive and selfish woman. But it made sense to her because she hadn't been thinking about anyone else, much less the man she'd married. She would take responsibility for that. He had every right to be angry and throw that back in her face despite the conversation they'd had after he'd found her where they'd both made it clear that they would be leaving with clear slates and no ties to one another.

"You're angry— maybe shocked or surprised." Not that she was trying to tell him how he was feeling but everything tumbled out wrong and she half expected him to decipher it because he'd once been so good at just knowing what was going through her mind. "I get that. I would probably be if you showed up at my door with divorce papers but I don't know where all this resentment is coming from." Maybe she did, or perhaps she was trying to turn the attention onto him and his own wrongdoings instead of how she'd clumsily fumbled this entire speech and ruined the plans she had to gracefully deliver the news. "I don't know how many times you want me to apologize for what I did. It was shitty but I told you that when we saw each other last." She cleared her throat when she heard a cart rolling away, reminder her that they were out in public and the last thing she needed was to leave town with a reputation behind her. "Like, it's been six years. I told you that I wouldn't survive in this town." Her mouth parted because she wanted to remind him that the goal had been to leave with him but he was dead set on this town so she had to do what was best for her.

It was a far cry from the people they were all those years ago. The ones who were passionate and lived in a world that was their own, even when surrounded by a sea of people, they could be found off to the side dancing on their own. He'd been her best friend and confidante but the reality hit her like a freight train now that she was back and could see the full effects of her decision. Frankly, she didn't know what she expected when she'd first see him but it surely wasn't all this hostility and something that felt more like hatred. "I guess I thought I could come here and we'd be nice and cordial about this but maybe this makes it easier." They could get their lawyers involved and only have to interact through them. It wasn't what she wanted given that she had already sought out employment because the money she'd saved up was going out the window what with the multiple places she'd been staying in and the fact that her overpriced apartment in new-york was still there, vacant, waiting for her return.

It was surprisingly nice to hear that he didn't have some relationship that was serious enough that he was considering a proposal or marriage. She didn't know why but it was a weight lifted from her shoulders. Still, she deliberately ensured she didn't react to that confession.

Instead, she silently walked away and finished her grocery with half of what was on the list because her mind was all over the place. By the time she had to circle back three times to get the avocado she kept forgetting, she decided to call it a fail and just wait by her car.

As he approached, she held the papers out to him but her hand dropped at his question before she could hand them over. "A few weeks?!" She gawked at him for a moment. Did she have a few weeks? "I'm still paying rent in New-york." It wasn't his fault and she figured she'd been here for a few weeks while they got everything sorted out but now he was asking that she wait before even getting the ball rolling. "I understand taxes and money but I'm living in airbnb's that are costing me an arm and a leg." With a sigh, she pinched the bridge of her nose and lifted her hand with the paper towards him once more. "Let me know after a week how long you think it's going to be because I'll need to figure something out. I stayed at a motel outside of town for a few nights and that scarred me. I'd consider staying in my car before returning there."

[alkcline]

AERI  PROMPTLY  OBLIGED  TO  AMARA’S  REQUEST  TO  REFILL  HER  GLASS  OF  WINE.  Truly,  the  brunette  wasn’t  going  to  sit  there  and  judge  anyone’s  needs  for  more  alcohol  in  their  lives.  As  long  as  they  remained  functional  humans,  however  they  chose  to  work  through  their  issues  was  their  own.  While  the  other  answered  her  question,  Aeri’s  fingertips  gently  brushed  against  the  glass  she’d  been  holding,  trying  to  imagine  leaving  everything  and  everyone  behind  and  not  keeping  in  touch  with  anyone.  Sure,  she  didn’t  talk  to everyone  she  used  to  back  when  she  lived  in  LA,  but  some  of  her  closest  friends  would  stil  get  an  occasional  text  here  and  there  or  the  funny  Reel  from  time  to  time.  But  in  Amara’s  case,  the  other  woman  didn’t  seem  like  she  wanted  to  keep  ties  to  Deer  Valley.  It  made  Aeri  wonder  what  had  happened  to  grant  that  reaction.  ❝  I  see…  ❞  She  bobbed  her  head  absentmindedly,  biting  softly  on  her  lip  as  lots  of  theories  swarmed  up  her  mind.  ❝  Do  you  mind  if  I  ask  why?  ❞  A  brief  pause  separated  her  previous  question  from  the  one  she  added  next.  ❝  I  mean…  You  didn’t  have  anyone  here  you  wanted  to  keep  in  touch  with?  ❞   Aeri  understood  Amara  not  wanting  to  talk  to  her  husband.  Maybe  he  was  violent,  maybe  he  was  abusive…  but  friends? Shaking  her  head,  the  journalist  let  her  legs  dangle  from  where  she  sat  on  the  kitchen  island  for  an  extra  moment  before  she  hopped  down  and  closed  her  distance  to  the  other  woman.  ❝  C’mon,  you’re  not  cursed.  There’s  no  such  thing  as  curses.  ❞  Her  grandmother  and  mother  would  say  otherwise,  but  Amara  was  nervous  enough.  She  didn’t  need  someone  whose  family  had  an  extensive  background  in  shamanism,  making  her  feel  like  couldn’t  get  over  life’s  adversities.  ❝  Do  you  think  there's  a  chance  he  won’t  sign  them?  ❞  There  could  also  be  it.  Maybe  this  guy  was  a  filthy,  possessive  dog  who  wouldn’t  handle  seeing  Amara  with  someone  other  than  him,  and  that  of  course,  that  raised  a  lot  of  red  flags  in  Aeri’s  mind.  ❝  And   then  what  happens  after  he  signs  the  papers?  You  go  back  to  New  York?  ❞  Which  seemed  to  be  the  most  plausible  idea,  considering  that  there  could  be  more  opportunities  for  her. 

[southncharm]

Teenage Amara was full of dreams and determination that felt much larger than what this little town could sustain. It had been a dream as a little girl to start somewhere fresh and become something that no one would have anticipated as a young girl who bounced from foster home to foster home— often times pushed aside and told she wouldn't succeed at much. She'd already proven them wrong with getting herself through college and finding an husband who was obsessed with her (and vice versa). It should have been enough. It had been for some time but she couldn't shake the idea that it was all she would become. A wife, perhaps some store owner, and a maybe if she was lucky, a mother. "I had friends but by the time I went to college, we all lost touch. I have my college friends that I kept in touch with but most of them moved out of town. It's hard to keep touch and feel grounded when you're bouncing around from one home to another when you're a child. You don't keep much belongings, much less friends." Many of times she'd had to change school.

She'd thought about her reasoning behind how she'd left Dante and most of it had to do with the fact that she doubted she would have been able to face him and break it off. The abrupt departure was more so to ensure she'd do it, and by the time he'd found her, she was still trying to convince herself she'd been right about her move altogether. Even now, she often wondered if she'd made the right decision as her life was far less glamorous as she'd expected it to be as a child. No big career in fashion, no huge house, no picket fence or children.

Her work came from whatever odd job she was doing and most of her money went into rent. The city was everything and more but she wondered if that alone would be enough in the long run. Eventually, she would run out of energy with all the work she was putting in while still living in a shoe box. "Curses have to exist. I'm the opposite of someone who is lucky, so I'm whatever you want to call that."

Then the idea of him not signing made her frown. She wouldn't know why he wouldn't sign. What would bring him to want to remain married to someone who'd run away, after all this time, when their lives had been so separate. Frankly, that thought hadn't even crossed her mind. "I don't see a world in which he wouldn't sign. He isn't a spiteful person and I know he deserves to be free and marry someone who wants to mold themselves into his life."

She hadn't really thought that far after ahead. "Honestly, I think so. I want to meet someone and settle down. I still have my apartment in new-york so I would have to go back regardless but I don't have this sudden urge to stay here. I don't know if there's anything here for me anymore once we're divorced."

[alkcline]

LEAVE   TO   AMARA   TO   SHOW   UP   LIKE   A   STORM   LIKE   THAT.   Unpredictably,   unprecedented,   uninvited.   It   took   everything   in   him   not   to   laugh   right   there   and   then,   because   of   course   she   would   say   something   like   that   in   the   middle   of   a   grocery   shop.   It   would   have   been   ten   times   easier   if   that   hadn’t   been   the   reason   why   Dante   had   fallen   madly   in   love   with   the   woman   standing   across   from   him.   Her   genius   and   free   spirit   had   wrapped   their   hands   around   his   throat   like   a   collar,   and   each   time   Amara   tugged   on   it   with   her   smile,   her   kisses,   her   promises   of   a   lifetime   together,   it   made   Dante   beg   for   love   like   some   sort   of   abandoned   puppy.   But   that   had   been   then,   when   he   was   still   struggling   to   find   his   footing   after   that   loss   of   himself   and   this   was   now.   No   matter   how   much   Amara   had   been   his   North   in   the   past,   things   changed   when   you   were,   in   fact,   left   to   handle   your   own   shit   without   a   hint   of   an   explanation. ❝   Right.   And   you   chose   the   middle   of   the   grocery   shop   to   do   it?   ❞   Dante   kept   his   arms   crossed   like   a   god-damned   armor.   He   let   out   a   sigh,   double   checking   if   the   older   man   was   up   and   running   instead   of   eavesdropping–but   then   again,   for   a   town   as   small   as   Deer   Valley,   eavesdropping   should   be   considered   an   olympic   sport.   ❝   I   have   to   give   it   to   you,   Amara.   Took   you   long   enough.   ❞   There   was   still   a   hint   of   bitterness   in   his   tone,   regardless   of   what   he   might   say…   that   no,   he   no   longer   harbored   feelings   for   his   ex,   that   he   had   chosen   to   live   a   different   life,   that   he   wasn’t   going   to   let   others   hurt   him   like   she   had.   ❝   I   mean…   you   must   be   desperate   if   you   couldn’t   even   wait   to   meet   at   my   place,   or   in   the   presence   of   lawyers.   ❞   Finally,   Dante   shook   his   head,   this   time,   looking   away   as   he   moved   back   to   where   he’d   left   the   shopping   cart   with   his   mother’s   shopping   in   it.   ❝   What   is   it?   You’re   going   to   get   married   again?   ❞   He   chortled.   Dry   and   bitter.   Yes,   maybe   these   words   were   too   little   and   they   were   too   late,   but   how   could   he   have   allowed   her   to   do   something   like   that?   How   could   Dante   let   her   own   his   happiness   the   way   he   had?

❝   I   don’t   see   any   papers   on   you.   ❞   He   said,   glancing   over   his   shoulder.   ❝   But   if   you’re   willing   to   wait,   I’ll   sign   them   for   you   once   I’m   done   doing   the   groceries.   ❞   He   wished   there   was   enough   in   him   that   could   come   up   with   harsher   words   to   tell   her.   Things   that   could   have   hurt   her,   instead   of   just   doing   his   best   to   keep   the   conversation   cordial,   but   maybe   those   wouldn’t   be   enough.   Why   would   they?   Once   the   feelings   were   gone,   what   was   left   there   to   cling   on?   And   pain,   came   from   the   small   threads   of   love   that   had   once   knitted   the   cushion   their   marriage   had   laid   on.   ❝   What’s   another   hour   if   you’ve   waited   six   years,   right?   ❞

[southncharm]

Amara gawked at him as if he'd just asked her the stupidest question. Was the sky blue? Obviously. Did she wait for this very moment to give him the news of the divorce? "Of course, I've been stalking the grocery store waiting for the exact moment you'd arrive. Actually, my camp is set up in the vent." Her hand barely lifted as she let out an exaggerated sigh. She'd need a nap when she got home and something strong to curb the headache she could feel coming on. "Of course not. I've been, actually for your information, avoiding this like the plague because I wanted to perfect my speech." That sounded equally as stupid but it was the truth. But also, she wasn't all too excited to hunt down the man she'd walked away from all those years ago despite the ways in which they'd both moved on. "—Or maybe I was trying to avoid the snakiness."

He had every right to be snarky. Even outright mean. They'd promised each other a future and she'd went ahead and tore the carpet from under him and uprooted their entire life plans because of her own selfish need to be outside of this town. Had New-York been any better? In ways, but certainly not as she'd dreamt. Her brows perked at the word desperate, but all she could do was cross her arms and tap her foot in an act of defiance. It wasn't like she could truly defend herself. It was all true but it didn't mean she would take it with a cherub smile.

"It almost feels like you've been waiting for my return and memorized all these lines." Or questions. It was hard to focus on one exact part of what he'd said beyond the chaotic scene and his presence. Despite the length of time they'd been separated, her head swam with all the memories and feelings she hadn't been prepared to face.

Nevertheless, she tried her best not to fixate on them, certainly not when the accusation of only returning because she was jumping from one husband to the next surfaced. "For your information, I'm not getting married. Not that it's any of your business and that I have to explain anything. Frankly, I thought you'd be jumping from the rooftop at finding your own freedom from me. I wasn't expecting the warmest of welcomes but this is a little shocking." A hand was pressed to her chest, trying her best to shift the focus on his reaction rather than her own horrible delivery. "You could have at least asked if I was doing okay. I almost got trampled."

"They're in my car." More because she suspected there was a chance she would run into him. If the opportunity was right, she could walk up to him and do the delivery, but this was not the place she would have done it. "But sure, I'm not actually done either." Amara reached behind her for the cart she'd long forgotten, clumsily attempting to find it only for her fingers to brush it. She cleared her throat and stepped in the direction she'd been going only to realize they were headed in the same direction. "Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't deliver papers to me. I thought you would have met someone by now. Meet some cute little teacher who wants this perfect little life in your cute little town."

[tcllips]

lacey glances over at the stand, then back at what she’s holding, eyes narrowing just slightly like she’s sizing it up the same way she would a horse. “zucchini.” she says it with enough certainty, even if she gives it a second look just to be sure. “cucumbers are usually a little colder to the touch. and they’ve got that waxy feel.” she reaches out, turning it lightly in her hand before handing it back. “you’d know the second you cut it, though.” a small beat. “smells like disappointment.” there’s the faintest hint of dry humor there before she leans back a fraction, arms folding loosely against her chest. “zucchini banana bread, huh.” a short exhale through her nose, almost amused. “that's a new one, can’t say i’ve tried that.” her gaze flicks toward the rest of the stand, then back. “not a bad way to do it, though. hide it well enough, you won’t notice.” there's a soft shrug of her shoulders. “my day’s been fine.” a slight tilt of her head. “yours doesn’t sound too bad either, all things considered.”

[southncharm]

"you can tell by the coldness of the touch?" she'd considered something a little more substantial such as it being rounder, shorter, more green. but how was she meant to know the difference by touch alone? "i think you overestimate my abilities to tell the difference with those descriptions alone. i have a feeling that stores are going to find a few cucumbers split in half and i can't apologize for it. their signs need to be larger and more presice." some of the vegetables were too close to know which was which. "plus it feels like a trap to put them right near each other." nevertheless, she trusted lacey and placed the right vegetable in her cart before planting her hands on the bar. "it's a recipe i found on pinterest. do you remember that site? i rejoined. basically the zucchini is meant to absorb the taste and it's extra healthy. fancy me, right?" she was eager to taste and wondered how small she'd have to cut the vegetable to mask it. "i mean, this is the highlight of my day. the cucumber and zucchini thing almost took me out. you know sometimes when you're having a rough week and it's the stupidest thing that gets you. crisis averted, you were here. otherwise, i won't bore you with my hell. happy you're living it up, though. let's hope some of that rubs off on me."

[sercndipiitous]

where: square dance competition.

when: april 18th, evening.

who: utp @southncharm

blue eyes traveled to the dance floor to the drink in sebastian's hand, the lightness of the alcohol already making him giddier and lighter than most days while swaying away with the overtly familiar music playing through the speakers. although not a favorite activity of his, growing up in texas meant square dancing had been a part of his upbringing for as long as he could remember, something he had grown to appreciate in the years living in the west and east coast, away from his roots. now here he was, a few miles away from home feeling homesick for a piece of his past he hadn't appreciated enough at the time as some hoedown made it painful to keep his feet glued to the ground.

just as he was about to go get another drink, did the man notice a figure standing by his side. he bowed his head as a cordial greeting. "good day ma'am" he voiced, eyes still on the people dancing in front of him. "having a nice time? are you joining the competition?"

[southncharm]

She needed to get out of the house and stop feeling sorry for herself which meant that she'd head into town and see what was going on. A few road lights short of the main road and she'd quickly checked on the group facebook what was popping in the town, slightly disappointed when it was the square dancing competition rather than some karaoke night.

After a few hours here, she knew she'd been right. Karaoke would have been a lot more entertaining to watch— what with butchered lyrics and drunken dancing. This was serious. More serious than she'd anticipated. "I've been.... watching. I don't know that I'm enjoying it. I keep waiting for someone to slip and for them all to fall like dominos but everyone is good and I've seen a lot of them run off to the bar between songs. It's impressive."

[sercndipiitous]

where: care for you.

when: late afternoon.

who: utp @southncharm

it simply had not been joey's day. in fact, their past twelve hours of life seemed like one of those terrible comedy movies based off of horror flicks their siblings would love when the were young. it had all started as all bad mornings did— stubbing their toe. it all went downhill from there on: from a nearly spoiled lunch that didn't sit right with their stomach, their phone running out of battery an hour into running errands, forgetting their keys in the apartment (in an incredibly busy day for both their roommates— not like it would matter, they couldn't call them or their landlord anyway) and lastly, they had left their apartment with only five dollars of which they had already use half of buying themselves a cup of coffee just to stay inside of care for you to wait for their roomates to return home.

of course, knowing life had a great sense of humor when it came to them they should've known one last punchline had to come, this time by the form of a full café. with limited options at their disposal (and a raging headache and a sore pinky toe) they approached one of the few tables with an open seat and a friendly face sitting on the other. "sorry, is there a chance i can sit here with you for a while?" jo questioned "i don't have much money on me right now to bribe you but, i can give you 2 dollars, promise you my first born or swear to include you in my grammy acceptance speech. maybe i can read your future" could jo read someone's future? absolutely not and a future with kids was not on their plans either but what the other didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

[southncharm]

Being a photographer for a little town meant that she was sat at a cafe, or most times her couch, and playing on her phone until she got a call that they were ready to run a story. The last one involved a cat in a tree which she'd had a field day getting pictures of because the sun was in the way and the cat wouldn't move. As for the two empty cups of caffeine, the only reason she hadn't found a bar was because most of them opened later than eleven. She cursed silently when the voice distracted her from the winning streak on candy crush, closing the phone and placing it face down on the coffee table. "You wanna, what?" She asked with knitted brows, head tilted slightly to avoid the weird glare from the outdoor window. "Oh, no, yeah— sure." It was as if she'd registered the words a few beats too late, crumpling up a muffin wrapper and one of the forementioned cups of coffee that were across from her.

"Well, see, I already told you that you could sit and I should have asked for a blood promise of your first born first." She wasn't even certain she wanted children of her own, let alone one birthed by someone else. There was a lot to consider in terms of temperament, medical conditions, and the likes she probably wasn't even thinking about. "Ah, fuck it. I'm sure there's going to be another opportunity for me to take that baby from you unless you're about to trade them to move up in line at Subway." Not a far stretch given that they were giving it up for an empty seat that didn't even belong to Andrea in the first place. "Is every other spot taken or are you going to flatter me by telling me there's a spcific reason you wanted to sit here?"

[alkcline]

HOW   HARD   COULD   IT   BE   TO   MAKE   YOUR   PARENTS   GROCERIES,   right?   It   would   have   been   easier   if   his   mother   could   just   make   up   her   mind   as   to   what   type   of   meat   she   wanted   him   to   get   for   the   week.   Since   the   world   turned   upside   down   and   older   people   became   more   at   risk   of   contracting   something,   the   Macallister   kids   had   split   among   themselves   the   chore   of   doing   their   parents'   groceries.   This   time,   it   was   Dante’s   turn. He   was   still   on   his   phone   with   his   ma   when   he   heard   a   commotion   not   too   far   from   where   he   stood.   Someone   was   shouting,   which   caught   his   attention   and   made   him   turn   his   head   to   see   what   it   was.   And   there   she   was,   Amara   Kalode,   in   the   flesh,   trying   to   shut   Mr.   Keagan   up.   ❝   I’ll   call   you   right   back,   ma.   ❞   He   said,   before   pocketing   his   phone   and   then   making   his   way   to   the   duo.   ❝   You   alright   there,   Mr.   K?   ❞   He   asked   as   he   helped   the   elderly   man   up.   In   another   world,   he   would’ve   helped   Amara   first,   but   Mac   wondered   if   she   still   wanted   his   help   to   begin   with.   So   much   had   been   left   unsaid   between   them   that   it   almost   felt   wrong   to   offer   a   hand. Yet,   he   did. Dante   stretched   out   his   hand   and   hoped   she   would   take   it,   like   she’d   done   so   many   times   in   the   past.   While   Mr.   Keagan   spoke   about   how   he   was   feeling,   about   how   he   hadn't   gotten   hurt,   about   how   Amara   had   practically   walked   over   him,   Dante   simply   stared   at   her.   He   wanted   to   ask   if   she   was   okay,   if   she’d   gotten   hurt,   too,   but   all   he   managed   to   say   was   a   stupid   ❝   What   are   you   doing   here?   ❞

[southncharm]

Her mouth hung slightly ajar at his approach, allowing her gaze to move over the man she'd married so many years ago. He was different— yet all the same. At least until he spoke and the words were directed towards the elderly man who was still trying to whine over a minuscule collision. "He's fine," Amara spoke before the man could as she knew from his expression that he was set to release more dramatic accusations. "I barely backed into his cart." It was difficult to speak through the lump in her throat but her gaze fixed on the older man for longer than necessary in an attempt to gather her thoughts and refocus her attention.

But all vanished as her hand reached out and she took Dante's. Her gaze was the first to tear from his, followed quickly by a roll of her eyes when she heard the Mr. Keagan began to walk off with a string of accusations in his wake. This wasn't how she'd planned on doing this. Not in the middle of a grocery store, out in public, where everyone could hear.

Her mouth parted to answer but no words came out. Was there an easy way to say this? Should she ask for them to step outside? Maybe steer the conversation towards something else? "I'm here for you, actually." The words fumbled out before she could really string them together coherently. Her head shook, hand shot up to indicate she needed a second. "Not like that. The opposite, I guess. I had this whole speech about big starts and big ends. It was stupid. I'm here to hand you divorce papers. I swear it felt nicer in my head than it does now." Fuck, fuck, fuck.... "—So, yeah."

[alkcline]

AERI   POURED   AMARA   SOME   WINE   AND   HANDED   HER   THE   GLASS.   Of   course   she   wanted   to   ask   so   many   questions,   but   she   needed   to   organize   her   thoughts   first,   and   that   meant   that   she   needed   a   few   more   minutes   to   get   herself   acquainted   with   the   situation.   ❝   Don’t   get   me   wrong,   but…   ❞   She   bit   softly   on   her   bottom   lip.   Soon,   her   glass   had   been   set   aside   and   she   was   popping   herself   onto   the   kitchen   island,   something   Aeri   did   often   whenever   Carrie   was   baking,   because   she   figured   she   occupied   less   space   in   the   kitchen   like   that.   ❝   You   told   me   you   came   here   to   serve   your   ex-husband   the   divorce   papers,   right?   ❞   Yes,   she   remembered   that   conversation   as   clear   as   day.   Once   properly   seated,   the   journalist   picked   her   wine   glass   back   up   and   sipped   on   it.   ❝   Why   couldn’t   you   send   it   through   a   lawyer?   I   mean,   why   put   yourself   through   the   trouble   of   coming   down   here   in   the   first   place?   And   well…   now   that   you   are   here,   couldn't   you   stay   with   your   family?   ❞ Maybe   she   was   running   from   something…   but   it   seemed   counter   productive   to   be   running   away   from   said   thing   and   then   immediately   go   and   do   it   anyways.   It   felt   like   Amara   didn’t   want   to   revisit   her   past   by   coming   back   to   Colorado,   but   then   again,   Aeri   didn’t   know   the   brunette   that   well   enough.   No,   she   shouldn’t   let   her   investigative   brain   take   over,   otherwise,   Aeri   would   start   asking   questions   and   she   would   never   stop   overanalyzing   the   other   woman’s   intentions.   ❝   Something   to   go   right?   You   don’t   need   to   be   Sherlock   Holmes   to   figure   out   that   means   something   else   is   going   wrong.   What’s   up   with   you,   hm?   ❞

[southncharm]

Amara took one last look at her meal before she shut the oven door and turned towards the glass of wine that was poured for her. Well needed, and soon to be, well deserved. She sat down and stopped mid-sip when a string of questions came that she hadn't been prepared to answer in this instant, while in the throes of ensuring that she didn't overcook— or worse yet— undercook the meal she'd slaved over. A pause came in the form of a long sip of wine, multiple gulps even, before she set her glass down and tapped it with her nail. "More please."

The smile fell, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand before she let out a small sigh. "Well, the lawyer thing would have been simpler but, I don't know, maybe it's a bit of guilt." She'd left him without a word and she figured the least he deserved was for her to return and do it in person. And maybe she was curious, to see how his life had turned out. How her life could have been had she chosen not to leave for what she thought would be a bigger and brighter future. "I don't have family here. I grew up in foster care and didn't keep touch with anyone once I left here. I guess the only family I have is my husband and I don't know that he'd be open to the idea of me asking for a board and room in between signing the papers."

She couldn't help the laugh. "What's up with me? That's a bit of a loaded question." Nothing ever seemed to go right as planned in her life and she couldn't exactly answer why despite the fact that it had always been that way. No matter the planning, or lack thereof, it just always went south. Not necessarily bad or good— just different. "I think it's bad karma. I need to see someone to remove this hex I have on me."

[derailmvnts]

‎ "poison almost never guarantees instant death, so people usually end up with dead mice in their walls when the poison catches up to the poor little guys. then you'll have to break your walls down to try and find 'em 'cause the remains will be stinkin' up the place, then you gotta patch up the holes... all 'cause you didn't listen to the nice salesman at the store." jamie grinned smugly. "i tell ya what, though - if you catch some with these bad boys," he shook the glue traps in his hand, "bring 'em over here and i'll get rid of 'em for ya, free of charge." a courtesy rather than a real service that they offer, but jamie was serious about it nonetheless. "oh, yeah, imprinting... there's studies on it and everything." he nodded earnestly. it was a stupid thing to be lying about, and he wasn't exactly sure why he was doing it. boredom, most likely, or the elated feeling he got at the way amara had somehow believed it, which honestly felt pretty good. oh, well, it's too late now. "yeah, i read it in one of 'em... science journals." he squinted at amara, almost trying to discern if she was still gonna buy into it. "those ratatouille guys absolutely weren't playin'. i mean, you just believe that that rat bonded with that chef. it's basically backed by science."

[southncharm]

there hadn't been much thought when it came to poison and the ways in which it worked. dead. that was as complex as she'd gotten. "i'm renting currently. and by the way that the landlord has been avoiding my text messages because of a faulty oven doesn't give me much hope that he'd be any more receptive to dead mice and patching walls." a few seconds and she carefully placed the bottle of poison back where she'd taken it. it was clear that she'd need to favor option b. "maybe i'll pay for your gas to come over and you can handle them while they're in the traps." preferably she'd wait outside and he could go in and hunt them all down and dispose of them without her having to touch or see anything. "for old times sake, i mean we used to go to school together and be friends." it wasn't necessarily the full truth but she was going to play any card she had to keep her hands clean. "well, it's just tragic since i'm not planning on actually staying here and i'm sure it's a crime to have them imprint on me when i can't care for them. they can't travel with me back to new-york. so i need them gone.... like yesterday."