Councillor Incorrect Quotes but it’s stuff my family and friends have said throughout this past week
Zarina: There’s a man on the porch and I think he’s going to molest one of us.
Emery: Do not let him in. It’s a Jehovahs Witness. Tell him we’re Buddhists. Or Witches.
Zarina: I och le le le och le lad him into a frog
Emery: *heavy sigh* you what.
Kenric: Are you even listening to me?
Bronte *in a sarcastic tone*: NOOOOOOO I was staring at you so intensely because I was psychoanalyzing you. OBVIOUSLY.
Bronte: But can you repeat what you said. Just in case.
Darek: You make writing essays look so easy, how the hell did you do that?
Terik: Easy. I lie to myself that I have plenty of time and then I crunch out a masterpiece in a half hour.
Kenric: YOU TOLD ME THEY WERE READY.
Velia: What. . What the actual fuck did you do?
Kenric *sobbing*: YOU PROMISED.
Liora: I gave him like 6 Reese’s cups that still had the brown wrappers on them and told him they were all unwrapped.
Darek: If I walk in here and the first thing I comment on is Noland’s butt, the rest of you can just be quiet. It’s not your problem.
Ramira: And for my would you rather question: Would you rather fight one Emery-sized Bronte or five Bronte-Sized Emery-s?
The other 11 Councillors:
Ramira: See the obvious answer for me would be 5 Bronte-sized Emery-s because you could simply smack them away with your arms-
Clarette: Don’t listen to the haters. There’s a rainbow around every corner.
Bronte: The existence of a rainbow around every corner implies the existence of another more grueling corner around that rainbow.
Terik: I’m not saying that all shoes should be designed with heel tabs so that I can pull them past my heels without having to untie them, but you can assume that my next political stance will be directed towards the fashion industry.
Emery: Alina is a touch-and-go option. Because she’s new. She may help you out if you ask her but she may not be so helpful? I haven’t gotten the chance to talk to her yet.
Emery: . . . Actually because she’s new she’ll probably want to make a good impression on you and can therefore be taken advantage of. And I’m not saying take advantage of that-
Oralie: But take advantage of that.
Velia: If I sit down on the floor one more time and see a booger or a toenail strewn onto the carpet, one of you is getting sacrificed.
Ramira: It is arguably not gay to perform midnight blood rituals with the homies.
Noland: On the contrary it might be the gayest possible thing to be doing at midnight.
Liora: Oh, my boy, how little you know. . .
Emery: I never once tried to dull your glow. I was your number one fan. I held ALL the posters at your baseball games. And this is what I get in return?
Terik: Dude, I love you but I have not eaten anything more than a starburst all day. You are not having a bite of my croissant.
Liora *coming out of the shadows*: QUA-SAUH
Zarina: I think that if nothing else, it will be worth it.
Bronte: Nothing. I didn’t say anything.
Zarina: You didn’t need to. You implied it spiritually.
Bronte: How dare you imply that I implied something.
Zarina: How dare you imply that I implied that you were implying something.
Darek *drunk out of his mind*: Ok ok ok. What color is the sound that a rat makes when you waterboard it out of a tunnel?
Darek: Dude. . . They gotta make you president.
*in a meeting after receiving soul crushing news so everyone is quiet*
Bronte: Ok, but in continuation of a previous altercation: Oralie, just how MUCH poison would one have to drink to become immune.
Bronte: And how quickly can it be done? Like how heavy can I go on cyanide before the dosage is lethal?
Emery: This is not standard work conversation. GET OUT.
Velia: Lightning storm outside is pretty neat, huh?
Emery: Sure, I guess. Always reminds me of when I was at home and Zarina hailed at me to close all my windows because the lightning was gonna strike me through the open window.
Zarina: It did too. I was right.
Darek: You don’t need these guys, Noland. Let’s get outta here.
Clarette: If you two run away to be gay again I’m gonna tell Emery about the speedboat thing.
Darek: THE SPEEDBOAT THING IS IN THE PAST BE QUIET.
Emery: I do not care if you are dead, dying, or taking a shit. I expect you to pick up when I call you.
Bronte: Do not take that to heart, any of you. The sphincter should always be closed when you are on a call. Thank you.
Kenric: Darling. Sweetheart. L-O-M-L, if you will.
Oralie: *looking up from a plate of bagel bites*
Kenric: I already licked all of those so I wouldn’t if I were you.
Ramira *in Liora’s room*: HOW THE ACTUAL FUCK DO YOU NAVIGATE THIS PLACE?
Liora: *maniacal laughing*
Ramira: Already this place was impossible to go through. Now you have your laundry tub right there, your glass Tupperware behind it. Theres package and a pair of heels right in front of me and a bottle of Lemon Pledge. Where the FUCK are you getting Lemon Pledge from?
Emery: You say this whenever you’re losing a game to spiritually boost your team mates.
Terik: OCH LE LE LE OCH LE LA!!!!!!!
Terik: . . . OHHHHHHH “Don’t cry! Your ass is fat!”
Clarette: I had a dream and you crushed it.
Emery: I did not crush your dream.
Clarette: Look at it. There on the floor. You crushed it underfoot like Lucifer.
Bronte: Why would you crush her dream Adam man of all men?
Emery: Bro we can still go I was just pointing out-
Clarette: I’m going to change your name in the group chat to Debra Karen and add 5 straw emojis.
Clarette: Because you suck.
@flyerguardian just gonna tag you I think you should see these