*a few days late, but better late than never*
Caleb Dume looked out upon the Corsucant traffic as it flew past the night sky. To just about any other 13-year-old, the day he had just had would have been the most exciting thing to ever happen to him. After all, it wasn’t just any day you were chosen to be a Padawan apprentice, and to a master of the Jedi Council no less! When Depa Billaba had stepped forward and officially declared the boy to be her chosen student, Caleb had swelled with unbelievable pride. He was about to start the next chapter of his life, one step closer to becoming a fully realized Jedi.
Yet there was also a sense of apprehension behind Caleb’s enthusiasm. While the time he had spent with Master Billaba had assured him of her warmth and kindness, the remarks of other people of her being “damaged” still gnawed at the back of his mind. He had been sparred most of the grisly details of what happened on Haruun Kal, but not all of them. The things she had said and did, the horrors she had been subjected to, enough to drive her mad and fall into a two-year coma. Caleb had been jumping at the chance to go out and get some action before the Clone Wars wrapped up, yet merely four months of it had nearly broken a Jedi Master. It had been enough to pull him out of bed and pace around the Temple for a while, conflicting thoughts buzzing around in his young mind.
Caleb’s musings were interrupted by something tripping his senses. A presence was approaching him, and given how strongly the Force was emitting from it, it had to be one of the masters. He decided now was as good a time as any to slip back to his room. Getting in trouble for being up late would hardly be the way to stary your first day as a Padawan. Besides, he needed to get some sleep anyway. Pulling his cloak around him, Caleb made his way out the door…
and bumped right into someone.
Caleb landed on the floor with a thud. Wincing a bit, he looked back up, ready to apologize to whoever it was, only for his mouth to go dry. Apparently, the presence he had sensed was a lot closer than he had expected. Sure enough, it was one of the masters. Specifically, a very tall, athletically built one with a shaved head and intense brown-eyed gaze.
“Ah- M-Master Windu! I’m sorry, I was just- I mean- I…”
Caleb stammered uselessly trying to come up with an excuse. For a long moment, Mace Windu just starred at the boy. It took a moment for Caleb to realize that the Korun was not looking at him with annoyance or disapproval. Rather, he seemed more curious than anything else.
“Padawan Dume, is it?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow.
“Slow down, son. You’re not in trouble.” Windu’s hands raised slightly to ward off Caleb’s rambling, his mouth curling into a slight smile at the same time. “You’re hardly the first young Jedi to be up past his bedtime.”
“Right,” Caleb said as he pulled himself back to his feet, though he still hesitated to meet the Jedi Master face to face.
“Although,” Windu continued, “I am surprised you of all people are up this late. If I remember correctly, you have a big day tomorrow.”
“Yeah- er, yes, Master,” Caleb corrected himself. Indeed, he and Master Billaba were due to leave for Ilum in the morning. Going to build his first true lightsaber was a landmark event for any Jedi. “I guess I just have some stuff on my mind.”
Windu’s expression softened a little. “Stuff like what?”
“Well…” Caleb paused for a moment, unsure of how to proceed. Ultimately, he decided to just rip the bacta patch off. “It’s about Master Billaba. I mean, I like her, she’s a great Jedi, I’m proud to be her Padawan- “
“But you keep thinking about what happened to her. And what people say about it.”
It was a summation, not a question. Caleb would have normally been embarrassed to be caught like that, but somehow it felt better to just be honest about it. He sighed. “It’s just, she’s a Jedi Master. And she was out there for only a few months. And look what happened to her.” He turned to pace a little around the room. “What if something like that happens to her again? What if…” He didn’t finish, but he guessed that Windu could fill in what was unsaid.
What if that happened to me?
Windu was silent for a moment, then spoke. “It is a sad position that one so young is troubled by this.”
Caleb turned to finally face the Jedi Master. “I don’t suppose you can give any advice.”
Windu thought for a bit. “I’m not exactly the leading expert on life counseling, I’m afraid,” he said with a hint of humor, “but bear with me.” He pressed a button on the wall panel, and a rack emerged from an opened section of the floor. Several metal cylinders were arranged on the rack. Caleb instantly recognized them, and only now recognized that he had been in one of the training halls the entire time.
He blinked in confusion. “Master?”
“I believe more in showing than telling.” Windu explained, removing his cloak and hanging it on a hook. “Lightsaber combat is more than just learning to fight. It can also be an exercise in spirit and a way to reflect upon yourself. And in any event,” he smirked as he drew the electrum-plated weapon from his belt, “a bit of exercise may help you get some sleep tonight.”
Caleb nervously laughed. “I see your point Master, but I don’t think I’m about as good as you are.”
Caleb relaxed a bit at the remark then shed his own robe. A sparring match may be just enough to take his mind off things. Taking a deep breath, he walked over to the rack and selected one of the training sabers.
Standing at opposite ends of the room, the two Jedi bowed before igniting their blades. Caleb tried to relax as he gripped his weapon in the ready position. He was normally good at keeping himself relaxed when training, letting the Force fill his awareness and strengthen his body. Still, squaring off against arguably the greatest swordsman the Order ever produced was daunting no matter how you sliced it. Easy, he told himself. This was about clearing his mind, not adding more baggage. Taking a deep breath, Caleb tightened his grip and advanced. In a flash, the room was filled with flashes of light and the cracking of plasma. Caleb’s blue blade moved through the sequences Master Drallig had drilled into him since he could walk, each slash driven by the currents of the Force. Windu blocked each blow with practiced ease, his amethyst weapon one step ahead of Caleb’s. Light flashed around the chamber as the two blades clashed again and again. Windu’s lightsaber suddenly shot forward, the tip hardly an inch from Caleb’s nose before he managed to leap back out of range. He stumbled a couple steps, then regained his footing and rose his blade in a high guard, waiting for the next move. Master Windu stood at the other end of the room, his lightsaber still extended outwards to where Caleb had once been.
The Korun smiled. “Well done, Padawan.”
“Thanks,” Caleb replied, catching his breath while he could. “Still haven’t gone a lot past the Form I drills though.”
“Not for long, you won’t.” Windu replied as he started to move forward. “A few weeks with Depa, and you’ll be far more expanded than usual.”
Caleb nodded. He had almost forgotten that Master Windu had been Master Billaba’s old teacher. He of all people would know what she fought like.
Caleb’s boost of confidence dwindled a bit as his eyes fell on Windu’s torso. One of the few details about the Haruun Kal debacle he knew about was that Masters Windu and Billaba had fought an altogether vicious lightsaber duel, a duel that had begun with her spearing him through his stomach and being swallowed by the darkness.
“Hopefully not too far,” he whispered under his breath as he moved to intercept a few of Master Windu’s jagged slashes. He had thought he was speaking too quietly for his opponent to hear. He was wrong.
“Don’t worry,” Windu let out a light chuckle as he and Caleb locked blades, “she’s not going to be throwing you into Vaapad right out of the gate. And especially not without my say-so.”
Caleb broke the lock and responded with a few quick stabs to force the Master back. “Not sure I’d want to, anyway.”
Windu cocked an eyebrow and shifted to a low guard. “Why is that?”
“Well…” Caleb hesitated a moment, unsure of what to say. “I mean…isn’t it kinda why she went bad? I mean, Master Drallig said that style brings you close to the Dark Side, right? And Master Billaba, on Haruun Kal, she, you guys fought and-”
“Padawan.” Windu interrupted, snapping Caleb out of what could have turned into a nervous ramble. Windu’s expression was serious, but not hard or cold. Caleb could see the calm exterior that was Mace Windu’s specialty, but at the same time, he sensed a simmering fire behind those fierce brown eyes. Getting himself back into position, Caleb raised his blade as Windu continued. “Do you know why I created Vaapad?”
Caleb thought a moment, then nodded. “You wanted to rework Form VII, right? Make it something that could fight the Sith.”
“Partially,” Mace agreed, “But there was a second point as well.” His purple lightsaber rose into a powerful high guard. “I created it to fight a very specific darkness; my own. Defend yourself.”
Before Caleb could comprehend what that meant, Windu moved. A flash of purple swept into Caleb’s peripheral and he only barely got his own blue beam up in time to block it. No sooner had the blades crackled that another strike came from another angle. And another. And another. Caleb worked to intercept each of the powerful blows. And as he did so, Windu continued to speak.
“Yes, Caleb Dume. I have a darkness within me. Every being does. Mine expresses itself here, in battle. I like to fight. I thrive on the trill of battle. In the wrong hands, I could have been swept up by the Dark Side. Vaapad exists to counter that.” Mace and Caleb were now moving through the chamber with even greater speed, the elder hammering on the younger’s defense as he barely fended him off. Barely, but still able.
“When I fight, I accept the fury, letting it empower me. But it does not control me. Rather, I control it. I also accept the fury of my opponent, turning their power against them.” Blue and purple explosions filled the room as the two kept moving.
“The darkness is around me; I call upon it to strengthen me…but I do not let it touch me.” Finally, the movement stopped, Mace Windu pressing his weapon down on the raised guard of Caleb Dume. The two stoon there for a moment, then Mace disengaged and stepped away.
Caleb’s breath went short and hard. He had been in plenty of intense training sessions before, but this blew them out of the water. Despite how tired he was, he retained every word the Korun master had said.
“Why did Depa fall?” Mace finished for him. “Recall that everything I just said requires the user to maintain strict control of himself, preventing the darkness from getting too strong a hold on him. That may not always be possible. Maybe he is tired or scared. Maybe he has experienced something horrible and it weighs on him. Maybe the weight of his responsibilities is too great for him to brush aside and be begins to crack. All these things can happen. Even to Jedi.” With that, Mace deactivated his lightsaber and returned it to his belt.
Caleb turned off his own weapon, though he still did not entirely understand. “But don’t we train to not let that happen?”
“We do,” said Mace as he walked forward. “But all the training in the universe cannot quell one critical thing, Caleb.” He knelt to the ground to be on eye level with the boy. “Jedi are people. And people can be weak at times, they can face darkness, and sometimes they can fall away.”
Caleb nodded a bit. “But Master Billaba is back?”
“Yes, she is.” Mace put his hands on Caleb’s shoulders. “Because we are here for her. Everyone can fall, but everyone can also rise back up. Sometimes on their own, sometimes with the help of others. No matter how hard one stumbles, one can always get back up again. You will face great trials in your future, even when this war is over. But you needn’t fear that you may be lost to whatever darkness you confront. Know this, Caleb Dume. Wherever you go, whatever you may face, there will always be someone to help you back up.”
Caleb’s nod was a lot stronger this time. “I think I get it.”
Mace smiled. “Good.” He rose to his feet. “Now, I think you should be getting back to your room and get some sleep. You have a busy day tomorrow.”
Caleb smiled his own lopsided grin. “Right!” He placed the training saber back on the rack, grabbed his cloak, and made for the door. Before he departed, he turned around back to Mace, who was setting the room back in order and retrieving his own cloak.
Mace turned to face the boy, whose face was showing the sense of relief he was feeling within. “Thanks for the help.”
Mace returned the smile. “Any time. Sleep well, Padawan Dume. And may the Force be with you.”
