"You must be high-functioning" is NOT a compliment...

Hello! I'm an #ActuallyAutistic young adult who would really like to help others understand what it can be like to be autistic by sharing my own perspective and experiences. Feel free to ask me questions about autism and I'll try my best to answer them for you, but please keep everything respectful as disrespect will NOT be tolerated! (He/him/his)

[spectrumlife99]

My book has finally been published! It's available on Amazon if anyone's interested.

Here's the link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0H6GZ9RQX/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=19SJAV38NIYAV&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.oZH26oM8KdKdKvFZWGg0YA.amSoPau_Q8xc47wv-Ct0NYZ_Ytn46i8JSWkKDMoQBqg&dib_tag=se&keywords=from+kiley+to+kai+and+everything+in+between&nsdOptOutParam=true&qid=1782264127&sprefix=%2Caps%2C175&sr=8-1

I only ask that you don't use my real name when talking or referring to me here on Tumblr, I don't like my real name being out there on the internet but I had to use it for my book, so that's the one exception. 😅

[spectrumlife99]

Fixed the link, this one should actually work. 😅

[spectrumlife99]

My biggest special interests right now are Pokémon, PAW Patrol, and Lego Ninjago. I don't care if you think that's "childish". I don't care if you think I'm "too big for it". I don't care if you think I'm "obsessing over these franchises too much". Life is short, and I'm gonna spend mine doing what I like and what brings me joy, that's just what I'm gonna do. If you have special interests that are considered "childish" by others, just remember, it's important to do what brings you joy, no matter what anyone says. Life is too short to let people police and control what you like and do. It may not be easy, I'm still insecure about my PAW Patrol special interest specifically, but I am trying to get past that insecurity and find the confidence to be more open about it. If I can do that, I'll most likely be much happier than I am now.

[spectrumlife99]

My author copies of my book have just arrived today! It doesn't feel real, I've been looking at it all evening and I'm just so happy it's finally here!

[spectrumlife99]

Having a special interest in PAW Patrol and collecting the toys as a result of that means I still get the autistic joy of lining up the toys just like I did with my trains and trucks when I was a kid, since for each mission briefing the pups all line up in the same order in the Lookout Tower. So I get to line the pup figures up AND create my own rescue missions AND recreate rescue missions from the show/movies on top of that, so I get to be creative as well with the way I play with them! Ultimate autistic joy right there!

[spectrumlife99]

Anxiety, anxiety, anxiety...it's BAD right now because of what day it is. To quote Charlie Brown from the Peanuts comics/cartoons, "My anxieties have anxieties..."

[spectrumlife99]

Oh great, tomorrow is the 4th of July...I HATE that holiday, it's too loud and too bright with all the fireworks going off, and our neighbors don't even light off the safe ones, they light off the rockets that go up in the sky, and those are NOT made for the small yards everyone on my street has! My 4th of July anxiety is already skyrocketing and it's not even the actual day yet, this is ridiculous. I hate fireworks so much. 😑

[spectrumlife99]

Anyone else have to sit as far away from the screen as possible when you go to the movie theater? I use my headphones to block out a good portion of the noise but I get sensory overload EASILY if I sit anywhere but the very top row in the back. It drives my brothers crazy because we sat all the way in the back when we saw the Super Mario Galaxy movie and they like to sit closer to the screen, but I literally CAN'T sit anywhere but the top row in the back because I get too overstimulated. But an advantage of sitting all the way back there is that I can see the entire screen at once, which makes watching the movie easier for me, on top of the lessened sensory overload. Please tell me I'm not the only one who has to do this, it makes people think I'm crazy for sitting in the back.

[spectrumlife99]

Went over to my grandma's house today as part of my Thursday routine, and she bought my book and has been reading it. It feels so surreal seeing an actual physical copy of it and holding it in my hands. I can't believe I actually did this!

[spectrumlife99]

My book has finally been published! It's available on Amazon if anyone's interested.

Here's the link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0H6GZ9RQX/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=19SJAV38NIYAV&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.oZH26oM8KdKdKvFZWGg0YA.amSoPau_Q8xc47wv-Ct0NYZ_Ytn46i8JSWkKDMoQBqg&dib_tag=se&keywords=from+kiley+to+kai+and+everything+in+between&nsdOptOutParam=true&qid=1782264127&sprefix=%2Caps%2C175&sr=8-1

I only ask that you don't use my real name when talking or referring to me here on Tumblr, I don't like my real name being out there on the internet but I had to use it for my book, so that's the one exception. 😅

[spectrumlife99]

Me whenever I'm not with a family member or anyone I'm comfortable with and someone I don't know talks to me or I have to talk to someone:

I get so anxious I lose my ability to speak completely. I literally cannot speak to anyone unless I have a family member or friend I'm super comfortable with there with me. This makes going into stores by myself difficult because I can't speak to employees if I need help finding something, and that's just one of many examples of how this struggle of mine makes life harder. I can order food by myself because I get the same thing every time and I've developed a mental script of what to say, but if it's not scripted in my head I just can't say it, and it makes my life really difficult. I have a few different mental scripts but for the majority of these moments they come out of the blue so I don't have a chance to make a script beforehand and it catches me off-guard. I wish I could just TALK to people but I CAN'T and it's so frustrating.

[spectrumlife99]

Does anyone (in the USA) have any tips or advice for how to apply for SSI...? I'm trying to apply for it but I'm finding the process really difficult and hard to understand. If anyone who's done it before sees this, I would really appreciate some tips and advice.

[spectrumlife99]

I'm so relieved April is over. No more autism month, no more puzzle pieces everywhere. Seriously I have had meltdowns over seeing puzzle pieces before, it's not fun, it makes me genuinely distraught. It really gets me because the people who donate to Autism $peaks most likely think they're donating to a good cause (because they're like, the largest and most well-known autism organization in the country), but they don't know the facts...Autism $peaks is more of a hate group than anything. I hate the puzzle piece as a symbol for autism and I hate the Light It Up Blue campaign as well. I'm tired of actual autistics being ignored and spoken over by that evil organization, it makes me so angry. Whenever I am asked if I want to donate to them, I always refuse. Puzzle piece this, puzzle piece that, puzzle pieces everywhere...the only time I like seeing puzzle pieces is when I'm actually doing a jigsaw puzzle myself. I like doing jigsaw puzzles of my favorite characters from Pokémon and my other special interests, but when it comes to using it as a symbol for autism, keep the puzzle pieces FAR AWAY FROM ME.

April being over now feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, one part of me wishes autism month wasn't even a thing, that way it wouldn't be able to hurt us the way it does. Another part of me DREADS the lead up to April every year. And another part of me likes to use autism month to share my headcanons of fictional characters I see as autistic coded...but that's like the only positive thing about it for me.

Now it's May, April's over and I'm glad. NO MORE PUZZLE PIECES, thank goodness.

[spectrumlife99]

Why do I feel overstimulated all the time these days...and people in the general public like to call me "high-functioning"...please stop calling me that, because I'm NOT. I'm BARELY functioning these days, everything is too much, too stressful, too overwhelming...don't like it. If I don't have my phone and noise-cancelling headphones with me at all times I WILL have a meltdown and that's not good for anyone involved with me. I NEED my headphones to protect my sensitive ears, which are even more sensitive now. I have a backpack with various fidget toys in it that I take with me when I go out to appointments and stuff like that to help ease my anxiety but I still feel overwhelmed all the time. I don't know what to do about it...oh well, I see my psychiatrist tomorrow so I guess I can ask her about what I should do. Hopefully she'll be able to help me out.

[spectrumlife99]

Being constantly hungry when you don't eat 99% of foods is...not great. Lately I've been driving my parents crazy because of this. I've been so hungry lately due to medical circumstances, that I'm almost always eating...but the things that I do eat haven't changed...AT ALL...so it drives my parents crazy because they constantly have to buy more and more of my safe foods every time they go to the store, and buying my safe foods along with their own foods costs them more money, which I feel bad about but if I don't have my safe foods I will not eat anything until I have a safe food again. And that's not good especially with how hungry I am lately.

[spectrumlife99]

I finally finished writing my book! After four years the thing is finally done! Now I just have to figure out an order to put the chapters in and digitize the cover illustration I drew for it back in 2022 when I first started this book!

[spectrumlife99]

I really need to start working on my book about autism again...haven't touched it in over a year now...if I'm ever gonna get it done and published I need to get back to work on it.

Only problem is executive dysfunction is a pain in the butt and I don't know how to overcome it to be able to start working on it again. I know I need to do it but I just can't bring myself to, and that sucks. Hopefully I'll be able to bring myself to start working on it again soon...

[spectrumlife99]

Feeling overstimulated all the time lately...dont know why or what to do about it, it's driving me crazy and I hate it.