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SIMON 'SPEEDY' KIRKLAND twenty-two UBER & LYFT DRIVER. WITH ODD JOBS ON THE SIDE.

[speedykirkland]

catalina-wolfe:

“I miss your dad.” Cat laughed a little. She’d spent a lot of time over at Speedy’s house when they were growing up. Perks of being next door neighbors. “Being an adult sucks so bad.” she sighed. “I actually just talked to them a few days ago.”

Speedy missed him, too, more than he would admit out loud. Raising his eyebrows, he realized how many details of Catalina’s life he’d missed when they were in they’re silent spell. “Oh? How did it go? What did you guys talk about?”

[speedykirkland]

cameronxwood:

Okay if we’re really going there let’s get it right. If you’re going to fight over a processed snack at least let it be something worthy like a King Dong or even a Ho Ho for that matter. But a dry ass sponge cake? Nah son I can’t go down like that.

Well, I have no idea what type of Twinkies you’ve been eating but they’re not the right ones because I respectfully disagree. There’s something special about the way the cream enters your mouth after you bite into the cake. It’s like... it’s like rainbows and fireworks all at once. Have you ever had a Twinkie while high?

[speedykirkland]

gucrrv:

Julian followed closely, nerves rattling through his body in a cold, sweeping chill. He hated clubs for a few reasons. One, because he stood out like a sore thumb and would have every eye on him whenever he’d walk in. Regardless if it was purely out of desire, he still felt uneasy. Like he didn’t belong.

“Sexy and suave? Think you’ve got the wrong guy,” he chuckled, trying to hide the apparent blush tinting his cheeks. “Just a guy— bein’ a dude.”

Speedy held back a laugh because he remembered that one vine about the coach standing on the bleachers in front of the football field saying ‘guys being dudes.’ A lot of what was on Speedy’s mind were vines. Then he remembered he was leading the way to a club and before he got lost, he focused on the present. 

“No, seriously, I mean--I’m sure it must be easy for you considering you look like that. I’m sure it just comes naturally. Since you’re already so sexy and suave.”

[speedykirkland]

catalina-wolfe:

“The days when we were kids? I miss them too.” Cat sighed a little, looking at her hands before looking back at him. “I know how you feel. I mean, I don’t work three jobs, but the daycare doesnt pay too well.”

“I even miss my dad, no matter how much he jokes how excited he was to get me out of the house.” Speedy chuckled at the thought. He was fortunate to have parents that really did care for him even if they did tease about how he needed to do something with his life. It was harder than it sounded. “It sucks that, even just to live is so expensive. Have you talked to your folks recently?”

[speedykirkland]

catalina-wolfe:

Cat turned her full attention over to Speedy when he said that he was homesick. She’d never thought that he’d be the one to be homesick. “You really miss LA that much?”

“I think I miss simplicity more than anything. When there was hardly anything to worry about. I mean, look, I’m working basically three jobs and money is still hard to come by.”

[shawnphunters]

[centralperksource]

[speedykirkland]

junemori:

“Oh, probably some bullshit like that. I didn’t listen to his excuses after I caught him.” June rolled her eyes at Speedy’s story. She’d known a lot of people like that, both dates and ‘friends.’ She scoffed. “That’s so infuriating. I wish people would just be straightforward about stuff like that.”

“Exactly. If you’re going to be an asshole, like tell me you’re gonna be an asshole or be upfront about it. At least I’ll respect you for it, right?” A sigh pulled from his chest. “Anything I could do to make you feel better about your shitty date?”

[speedykirkland]

earthtoskys:

Skylar had already learned in his last short encounter with Scooter that it was best if he just went along with whatever the hell he said. Skylar honestly didn’t know why he was following him around other than the fact that he really needed a friend that wasn’t a mom—not that he didn’t adore Scarlett with every fiber of his being, he just needed more than a parental figure. Speedy, scooter—whatever the fuck his name was, was certainly not a mom to him.

“Alright, alright.” Skylar said holding his hands up, “I’m here with you all the way, Scoots. I just need to have some sort of idea as to what the fuck we are even doing before I dive headfirst into a pet store.” Skylar deemed this a reasonable enough request given the fact he’d asked no other questions up until this point.

Speedy didn’t think anything of the alternative nickname Skylar had given him. All throughout college, because of his already distinctive moniker, he’d heard a plethora of different names called to him. Scoots now was just another one. With Skylar’s recent inquiry, Speedy gave an uncertain look. Should he share his plan, even if it meant that his newfound friend would walk away? “There’s a turtle in here that gets absolutely tortured by this six year old girl that comes in here. Catch--she’s the daughter of the owner and won’t let anyone adopt it. You and I, are gonna take it.”

[speedykirkland]

junemori:

“Just when I think I’ve had the most awkward date of my life, someone else comes along and beats it. I literally caught this guy texting another girl to make date plans for the next day.”

"Oof,” Speedy winced, patting her shoulder as if to console her. “Lemme guess: he’s trying to keep his options open, doesn’t want to be tied down to one person? I’ve dated that type before.” His name was Brian and when Speedy thought they were on the road to a serious relationship, he found out he was dating two other people. “How about I one up you? In high school, when I thought I was taking this girl on dates, it turns out she was just using me for rides and let me tag along.”

[speedykirkland]

gucrrv:

“Then he’s lame,” he deadpanned. At the other’s offer, he sighed softly. He wasn’t one to avoid being helpful. It was practically in his code. “Fine, but I expect copious amounts of alcohol. If you’re getting lucky tonight, I get to fill my perpetual emptiness with beer, got it?”

“Deal,” he accepted excitedly without skipping a beat. Taking the other’s hand, he pressed it into his own as if they were shaking hands. “The club is just down this way,” he directed. Speedy took a glance at Julian, pressing his lips together. “I don’t know how you do that. How you were able to be, you know, sexy and suave without even trying.”

[speedykirkland]

celeste-caron:

Celeste’s jaw unhinged, raising her index finger to argue with his statement, but lowered it when nothing came out. She had, in fact dropped her dancing partner. “Okay well, maybe I’m just not good at dancing with other people.” she replied. “It’s different, when I’m in my apartment I can dance by myself, naked. Here…let’s face it, someone would probably call the police. And I’m not going back to that hell hole that is jail just for an act of self-expression.” She rolled her eyes, her hand resting on her chin. “Oh, of course. See, I don’t think I would like LA, for that reason. Missouri got snow in the winter, so it makes me a little home sick not to see any here.” she fell silent in thought, letting out a small sigh. “Oh well..” she turned to her friend. “I didn’t break your ass did I? Can I make it up to you by buying you some coffee and donuts?” She asked.

“Naked dancing is the best,” he responded quietly, nodding his head firmly in agreement. Though his neutral expression changed at the mention of her previously been in jail. Speedy watched her, intrigued, that he barely registered anything else that she had said. He was no stranger to trouble. Hell, he was a boy in his early twenties who occasionally made stupid decisions based on what he saw on Twitter that particular morning. But he’d never been arrested. As weird as it sounded, it was on his bucket list. “Yeah, LA has a bunch of smog and Missouri has pure white snow, pure and white just like their people. My ass is fine and I love sprinkles on my doughnuts--now, tell me, what is this about jail?” He speeded through the rest of his words just to get to his question so he could finally get to the bottom of what prompted her arrest.

[speedykirkland]

codyxstone:

“You mean like coming up with actual stories or just making up random bullshit? Because I’m pretty good at both.” Cody replied. “But it is me we’re talking about. Saying something inappropriate or making an awkward joke to ruin the moment is another God-given talent of mine.”

His brow knotted at Speedy’s rendition of his own version of ‘winging’, as he put it. “Hey, that wasn’t bad.” he said, giving off a subtle sarcastic tone. “You might want to come up with an alternative in case the other person wasn’t born yesterday. Well…you could leave in the ‘packing’ part. That’s not entirely untrue.” he joked, giving a smile. “You know I don’t remember it ever being this complicated, when I was your age.” he went on. “Of course, that was the 90′s. All you had to do was show off your Nike pumps, and throw down some Backstreet Boys moves and you were almost guaranteed a hand-job, at least.” 

Speedy winced at the mention of the decade, remembering that Cody was most likely double his age. “Okay, I get it. You’re old,” he grumbled, rolling his eyes. Perhaps this wasn’t such a good idea asking him. But he was an awkward guy and Speedy was also an awkward guy so he believed it wouldn’t hurt to ask someone similar to him for advice. “My first handjob was given to me in a movie theater,” he commented, recalling the memory with a smirk.

Sure, this was just a crush, but Speedy always believed that a crush was just the first step in it turning into something more. Something real. He was a hopeless romantic that way. “Was there someone you were liked so much, or just super interested in, that… just the thought of going up to them made your stomach hurt. It made you dizzy?”

[speedykirkland]

catalina-wolfe:

“Well, I’m not going to torture you with BSB just yet.” she smirked, looking over at him as he drove. Cat felt really relaxed now that she was doing this with Speedy, because she had felt bad of what had happened before. “Really? Why don’t you want to stay here?”

Keeping his eyes on the road, he just shrugged. It was hard to call Portland his home, especially since he’d yet to find his place in it yet, despite having attended college here for four years and living here for two more after that. Speedy hated to admit it, but-- “I’m getting a little homesick,” he spoke honestly, nervous for the response.

[cameronxwood-blog]

@cameronxwood

I always thought Amazon one hour  delivery was a bold faced lie. Well I guess we’re gonna find out cause I refuse to go anywhere near a mall after the fight that broke out in the snack isle at Walmart this morning. Who in the hell gets that mad over snack cakes, Twinkies and beef jerky? 

[speedykirkland]

SPEEDYKIRKS ⇨

Who doesn’t get mad over Twinkies and beef jerky? Have you ever had a Twinkie? Have you ever had such a bad day that the only thing that would make you feel better is processed dessert? Sometimes, all you need is snacks. You can put that on a shirt and sell it at Hot Topic.

[speedykirkland]

catalina-wolfe:

Cat smiled softly as she hugged him back, her small smile breaking out into a full blown dimpled grin when he handed her he phone. “Holy shit, no way.” she laughed, looking at all the songs they had listened to. She hummed as she scrolled through the playlist before picking ‘All The small Things’ by Blink-182.

Speedy nodded in approval at her choice, but still gave her a surprised look. “I’m surprised you didn’t choose anything by the Backstreet Boys.” With that, he started down the street, windows rolled down with the heater on the highest setting, waiting to see where the night would take them. 

“I don’t think I’m gonna stick around here for the holidays. Might head home,” he mused.

[speedykirkland]

Who is your favorite singer?

“John O’Callaghan of The Maine. I’m so highkey in love with that guy, it’s not even funny.”