To Investigate: My Ass

im nightbeat and [loud beatboxing] crack rp blog (whambaminthevan!)

[swindolla-deactivated20200325]

It’s not the same or as varied as organic’s food, but we could always go on an energon tasting tour, you know, like, an actual, um, date. 

[messes with his shoulder joint with his other hand] I’d much rather spar verbally. 

You don’t have any desire to act on Rewind’s suggestion, do you? At any rate, I should probably make you work for it. You’ve already got so much for free. [chuckles]

[spicynightbeat-blog]

Hmmm.. Thats disappointing. I guess if the humans have one thing going for them its their food, huh. But... Yea! A... A real.. date thing. A date.

Nothing wrong with that tho. I'm the same way, really. Though a dont mind   a little action.

[Coughs] W-what! No, of course not. I mean if I did I would have already right? Pshhh. Rewind was just gettin a liiiiiil ahead of himself. Anyway. I did find your whole 'giving things away' deal a little strange but well... I guess we know why that happened now, heheheh.

[spicynightbeat-blog]

Fucko! Ive been pretty busy, figuring out important mysteries like 'what happens when you fight a bear' and [classified]

but it looks like i havent been the only one away

where is everyone? well im guessing 'dead'

[swindolla-deactivated20200325]

It’s probably better cause then you won’t get bugged by your crew members for pining away for someone cross-faction, right? Right? Wouldn’t want you to get thrown in the brig for appearing distracted! 

I can understand—I don’t like being touched if it’s not on my terms, cause if it’s not, usually it means I’m getting my aft kick—well never mind about that, I’m babbling. Gosh. 

[squeezes his hand and poofs back to robot]

Whoa would you look at that!!! 

[spicynightbeat-blog]

Ehhh. On one hand I'd say yeah but on the other Rewind literally told me to touch your ass so either way I don't think theyll care.. And if they do nows a good time to bring out the 'but the wars over!' spiel.

[smirks] What, not much of a fighter either? Im not surprised buuut

[looks down at his body & then his hand] Oh, well.. That was convenient timing, wasnt it. Shame I didnt get to try out more food before the change tho. 

[swindolla-deactivated20200325]

[blink blink]

O-Oh! Well, you have—we have—time to figure it out, you know? 

Is it okay if… [reaches out and touches his fingertips gently] 

[spicynightbeat-blog]

Yeah... Yeah thats right. I mean I'm warning you now that I'm not really a mushy sort of mech but. If you're ok with that..

[stares at his hand and resists the natural urge to move away] Uh, sure! Go ahead.. Cool..

[swindolla-deactivated20200325]

It’s fine. I mean, I guess I’m happy you at least noticed.

[forced smile]

But really, no need for platitudes or cliches. I understand. 

I wonder when we’ll be back to normal. Maybe I’ll keep the pillows anyway. [hugs one]

[spicynightbeat-blog]

[fiddles with his coat while still looking away] No no I.. Im not saying that I don't appreciate the uh.. attention. Cause I do! Really.. I'm just not quite sure what to do and..

And I'm supposed to be able to figure things out you know? But I...

[turns a little red] I guess what im trying to say is I.. Like the attention. Its flattering and I .. I wouldnt mind if .. yknow

[swindolla-deactivated20200325]

I’m gonna have to flip these pillows over, you’re making such a mess!! Dry cleaning is expensive…

Ah…yes…about earlier. It’s been bothering me awhile and I just need to tell you. I hate gambling, waste of money, but I guess we’ll let the chips fall where they may…ANYWAY. [blushes as bright as the pizza sauce]

I can’t help it, and this may not mean anything to you but [gulp] I find you very attractive.

[looks up at his silly pizza stuffed face]

[spicynightbeat-blog]

Its not like we're gonna say like this forever tho.. right? Once we're back to normal you wont even need these anymore.

[pauses and then swallows] Oh. I'd... uh. Heard as much and you havent been exactly subtle but I uh.. Didn't realize you were serious.

[looks away suddenly] I- I mean its not that I mind its just. A little bizzare I guess. Cause I'm... not the romantic type. And... Yea h...

[spicynightbeat-blog]

[follows after him, only slower this time]

Alright… well.. we should check out this stuff then shouldnt we!

[plops down on a pillow and takes the box out] Tadaa.

[swindolla-deactivated20200325]

Oooooooo ！(◎_◎;) What a strange looking food. Very decorative. Doesn’t glow like energon though hm… [takes a slice] Well, here goes!!

[spicynightbeat-blog]

[picks up a piece and stares at it]

its so... weird. I was hungry before but this just looks so bizzare.

But I cant be picky now can I? Here we go. [shoves a bit in his mouth and drips sauce everywhere]

its messy! but it actually tastes alright? huh! interesting.. [stuffs more in and talks with it]

sho....... er, shwindle. uhm. whats up?

[spicynightbeat-blog]

[skids to a halt]

oh yeah. sorry, short stuff. Uh… I dont know where we’re going to be honest.

You said you had some sort of fort thing right? Why not there?

[swindolla-deactivated20200325]

#guess we know who the mroe active one of us is :^) haha

hahaah quiet you but yeah Swindle’s Temporary Pillow Emporium should work out great. It’s big enough I think.

[nyooms as fast as short legs can take him]

I wanna see this pizza!!

[spicynightbeat-blog]

[follows after him, only slower this time]

Alright... well.. we should check out this stuff then shouldnt we!

[plops down on a pillow and takes the box out] Tadaa.

[swindolla-deactivated20200325]

Tch—maybe I woulda you never know…find anything? [squint]

Hurry up and grab it so we can get outta here before someone sees.

[spicynightbeat-blog]

uhhh… i found like… a container thing? its warm.. im taking it.

ok lets go gogo go [sprints away]

[swindolla-deactivated20200325]

Where are we running to, partner? My legs are not as long as yours wait up!!! [pants]

Why do humans need to breathe so much??

[wheezes]

[spicynightbeat-blog]

[skids to a halt]

oh yeah. sorry, short stuff. Uh... I dont know where we're going to be honest.

You said you had some sort of fort thing right? Why not there?

[spicynightbeat-blog]

Well what would you even do it you had them? Hold up a tiny car? Psh. 

Sneaking however, I can do. Lets juuuust [shuffles over that way] sneak in and out real quiet.

[couches behind the car and gives a thumbs up] ok.. Food Time

[swindolla-deactivated20200325]

Tch—maybe I woulda you never know…find anything? [squint]

Hurry up and grab it so we can get outta here before someone sees.

[spicynightbeat-blog]

uhhh... i found like... a container thing? its warm.. im taking it.

ok lets go gogo go [sprints away]

[spicynightbeat-blog]

[shakes his hand] Good to be workin with you, partner.

Huh?

[looks over to the car]

they have those? well that makes things easy. so… got a plan? 

[swindolla-deactivated20200325]

I’ll just—oh, I don’t have access to my artillery in this body fukkkkk.

It looks like it’s unattended at the moment…but the engine is still running…maybe we can sneak up and get the goods out of it?

Aaaah it smells so good!

[spicynightbeat-blog]

Well what would you even do it you had them? Hold up a tiny car? Psh. 

Sneaking however, I can do. Lets juuuust [shuffles over that way] sneak in and out real quiet.

[couches behind the car and gives a thumbs up] ok.. Food Time

[swindolla-deactivated20200325]

Ok then it’s settled [puts out his hand for a handshake]

Aa!

[sniff]

What is that?

A vehicle that distributes food???

[spicynightbeat-blog]

[shakes his hand] Good to be workin with you, partner.

Huh?

[looks over to the car]

they have those? well that makes things easy. so... got a plan? 

[swindolla-deactivated20200325]

Of course I’m proud! I work hard, you know, and it pays off and people should respect that shit! And I was saying that I can’t believe all you care about is getting food rather than why I keep bothering you to notice that—

[whoa hi hello that’s ur face]

Team up?

I’d…I’d really like that.

Then…maybe we can talk over food?

[spicynightbeat-blog]

I know, I know. Youre like... the only hardworking guy in the galaxy these days congrats. .Ok not the ONLY one bust seriously like everyone lounges around all day theres nothing to do.

And uh- Yeah.. Talk over food. That sounds fine I guess I wouldnt mind that. .. Cool. Nice.

[swindolla-deactivated20200325]

I know I have a reputation, people should know who they’re dealing with—I mean, Who do you think I am? I have plenty of money…though robbing a bank…hmm I wonder who I could con into doing that for me and get a nice cut out of the deal…

But….now it sounds like you’re ok to for me to do whatever if it gets you what you want? PFfft!!! Lazy-aft!!

[mumble mumble] You’re so oblivious. Do I really have to get to your spark through your energon tanks?

I’ll be back with something…now where is that employee of mine?

[spicynightbeat-blog]

You sound pretty proud of that. [shrug] Buuut I guess in a way you should be. I mean ID be pretty proud if i was loaded with cash.

And mmmmmmmmaybe that might be what im saying. but i didnt say i wouldnt help. we cooould team up or something.

[leans forward] what did you say? i didnt catch that last bit.

[spicynightbeat-blog]

While I am resourceful, I dont think I quite have the same appeal as Tailgate. Hes all… Small. and aggressive holy fucko buuuut. Ill figure something out I guess… 

Well I wouldnt say we’re similar i mean youre shady and probably use illicit ways to get what you want and- ………

[swindolla-deactivated20200325]

Ah, I don’t believe i’ve been shady with you—not hardly…

[swallows and tries to remember any “advice” he got yesterday from CD-RW]

Would you prefer me to use illicit tactics to get what I want?

[spicynightbeat-blog]

Not with me, no, but you do have a.. reputation.. ha ha! 

[shrugs] honestly right now? I dont care what you do as long as I get food. Rob a bank, i dont care(just giv me some 2)

[swindolla-deactivated20200325]

[huff] I only have like 20 of them. 

And you’re resourceful, or at least I thought you were…surely you can think of something? Tailgate got a little job in advertising and now he’s set.

And #im not like you swindle wtf? wtf? wtf…. what exactly are you trying to say?

[spicynightbeat-blog]

While I am resourceful, I dont think I quite have the same appeal as Tailgate. Hes all... Small. and aggressive holy fucko buuuut. Ill figure something out I guess... 

Well I wouldnt say we're similar i mean youre shady and probably use illicit ways to get what you want and- .........

[spicynightbeat-blog]

Yea thats true… Wow these human bodies really arent very durable. Bleh.

Tru tho. I’ll have to look around for something squishy to find. Ill add that to my list of things to steal.

[swindolla-deactivated20200325]

But Nightbeat, isn’t stealing illegal?

[throws a pillow at u]

[spicynightbeat-blog]

W- well yeah but what else am I supposed to do? Its not like I have human money. 

[gets a pillow to the face] Hey watch i...[squishes pillow]

...........Youre not getting this back its mine now