spicywmn @spicywmn - Tumblr Blog

soyouthinkyoucansee

vybewitme

It’s just safer being silent these days

tragicallyfuckyou

sick of wanting and yearning and longing and craving and and and and

consecuences

akindplace

jisoupy

cottoncandybb

I can't be a giver anymore. I want to be loved, nourished, taken care of, spoiled, prioritized, and not just by words, by actions too.

cyberxbattalion

This has brought no substance to my life. I’ve regressed rather than grow. Developed mental challenges I didn’t think I had the capacity for. Lost many, many people. Lost my family for a moment, but still lost one.

Things don’t excite me anymore. I do things to pass the time and can’t wait until it ends. I rush through whatever I’m doing, just to make it to that next hour. Why?

I never used to be like this. I used to be whole, confident, personable. I used to like people and creating those relationships. I enjoyed showing people there’s a good side to this world. Giving love from all my capacity and feeling fulfilled by doing so.

I’ve seen a real ugly part of this world now. I’ve turned into the ugly of this world. Why? Isn’t love supposed to be unconditional, romantic, trusting, exciting, feeling like a rush? Isn’t love supposed to change you, for the good? We lost that after the first year. I wouldn’t say we kept trying, but we kept surviving. Bonded by trauma and new feelings.

5 years and I’m drained. I’m drained and crumbled and cold and empty.

I think I need my mom now.