[spiderboi69]

I was in Portland at the same time as Dance Gavin Dance and didn’t even get to kiss Tillian on the mouth.

[spiderboi69]

I just got a new job and I feel like that comic panel where Tony Stark tells a tired, relieved, Peter Parker, “Don’t worry, we have money.”

[spiderboi69]

Humans can be small, pathetic creatures.

[spiderboi69]

I’ve had this hypothesis since I was like 15 that human evolution will eliminate males, because the y-chromosome is weird, and that women will either be hermaphroditic or reproduce asexually or something and if a female shark kept in captivity for 20 years giving virgin birth doesn’t just fit right in with that theory. Hail Shark Jesus.

[spiderboi69]

when i was a freshmen in high school the “ninjas or pirates” debate was a thing for some reason and in speech class we to do an argumentative speech so i argued ninjas were better than pirates and one of my points was that pirates had scabies because having scabies was also a weird joke at the time and pirates very frequently would have scabies, but then i got in a lot of trouble because a unbeknownst to me this girl named cassie had scabies and then she got pregnant and dropped out of school

[spiderboi69]

ya boi spider boi is on the hook for a killer job and is S T R E S S E D t f O U T

[spiderboi69]

You know life is weird when you think “i could go for denny’s”

[spiderboi69]

“We occupied Afghanistan for 20 years. What was the point of all of that if after a month the Taliban has taken over. In all the that time, we weren’t able to get rid of them?”

“There’s always going to be people like that. You can never completely stamp out the ideology. We still have confederates. We still have nazis.”

“I mean, yeah, sure, but they’re not like, organized, they aren’t trying to... wait I guess they did try to overthrow the government... nevermind.”

[spiderboi69]

Fun new sayings:

touch tit, get hit

bigger the yee-yee, smaller the wee-wee

yarg yarg the garg garg

kill nazis

[spiderboi69]

i can’t believe i’m back in this bitch