The Evening Star, Washington DC, October 16, 1918
trying on a metaphor
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@spokenscience
The Evening Star, Washington DC, October 16, 1918
I love the way the films show us Aragorn being a dad……like he’s so HAPPY and he loves his son so much……..
Another underrated Dad Aragorn™ moment is when Aragorn sees a kid preparing for battle at Helm’s Deep. He asks him his name, and the kid responds “Haleth, son of Hama, my Lord.”
If you were playing Close Attention™, Hama was the name of this guard, who was killed during the warg attack:
The kid’s dad just died!
And I think Aragorn’s clearly aware of that. The way his expression changes when Haleth says his father’s name…. the way he sort of looks away…..like “this kid’s already going through too much and his dad is dead too?”
So he’s instantly like. “LISTEN. For the next five minutes, I’M your dad.”
I also love the Energy™ Aragorn has around the hobbits.
The Hobbits: What about second breakfast????
Aragorn: You’re acting like children.
(hours later. the hobbits are sleeping peacefully as Aragorn watches over them.)
Aragorn: (a little choked up): I’ve always dreamed of having children
PURE, QUALITY CONTENT
My eyes just got HUGE.
😍😍😍😍😍
Stop!!! I can’t take this level of cuteness
Can we please talk about how our history teacher sent a barbie to the smithsonian as proof of the presence of man two million years ago
pleas,e for the love of God read the whole letter, there are tears streamign down my face rn
Can we please talk about how your history teacher has done this sort of thing enough times that he has his own specimen shelf in the Smithsonian
“yours in science” tho
“B. Clams don’t have teeth” is the part where I lost it.
@zozi-writes
The letter says:
“Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled “211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post. Hominid skull.” We have gien this specimen a careful and detailed examination and regret to inform you that we disagree with you theory that it represents ‘conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago.’ Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be the ‘Malibu Barbie’. It is evident that you have given a great deal of thought to the analysis of this specimen, and you may be quite certain that those of us who are familiar with your prior work in the field were loathe to come to contradiction with your findings. However, we do feel that there are a number of physical attributes of the specimen which might have tipped you off to it’s modern origin:
The material is molded plastic. Ancient hominid remains are typically fossilized bone.
The cranial capacity of the specimen is approximately 9 cubic centimeters, well below the threshold of even the earliest identified proto-hominids.
The dentition patters evident on the ‘skull’ is more consistent with the common domesticated dog than it is with the ‘ravenous man-eating Pliocene clams’ you speculate roamed the wetlands during that time.This latter finding is certainly one of the most intriguing hypotheses you have submitted in your history with this institution, but the evidence seems to weigh rather heavily against it. Without going into too much detail, let us say that:
A) The specimen looks like the head of a Barbie doll that a dog has chewed on.
Clams don’t have teeth.
It is with feelings tinged with melancholy that we must deny your request to have the specimen carbon dated. This is partially due to the heavy load our lab must bear in it’s normal operation, and partly due to carbon dating’s notorious inaccuracy in fossils of recent geologic record. To the best of our knowledge, no Barbie dolls were produced prior to 1956 AD, and carbon dating is likely to produce wildly inaccurate results. Sadly , we must also deny your request that we approach the National Science Foundation’s Phylogeny Department with the concept of assigning your specimen the scientific name ‘Australopithecus spiff-arino.’ Speaking personally, I for one, fought tenaciously for the acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted down because the species name you selected was hyphenated, and didn’t really sound like it might be Latin.
However, we gladly accept your generous donation of this fascinating specimen to the museum. While it is undoubtedly not a hominid fossil, it is, nonetheless, yet another riveting example of the great body of work you seem to accumulate here so effortlessly. You should know that our Director has reserved a special shelf in his own office for the display of the specimens you have previously submitted to the Institution, and the entire staff speculates daily on what you will happen upon next in your digs at the site you have discovered in your back yard. We eagerly anticipate your trip to or nation’s capital that you proposed in you last letter, and several of us are pressing the Director to pay for it. We are particularly interested in hearing you expand on your theories surrounding the ‘trans-positating fillifitation of ferrous ions in a structural matrix’ that makes the excellent juvenile Tyrannosaurus rex femur you recently discovered take on the deceptive appearance of a rusty 9-mm Sears Craftsman automotive crescent wrench.
Yours in Science,
Harvey Rowe
Curator, Antiquities”
—————————————————————————————————-
(sorry if there are misspellings or wrong wordings. this was long and i was reading it off my phone)
“I for one, fought tenaciously for the acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted down because the species name you selected was hyphenated, and didn’t really sound like it might be Latin.“
@glumshoe
chilliger Sonntag
@rosswoodpark
currently
I always find it funny when books like Harry Potter and Percy Jackson get crap for being ‘witchcraft’ and ‘anti-christian’ but you know who no one ever talks about? Phillip Pullman and his masterpiece His Dark Materials trilogy. Some of you may recognize the first book’s title, The Golden Compass from the awful movie adaption, but seriously those books are so so good and full of badass witches rebelling against the vadican for mutilating children, gay ass angels who join the rebellion so they can be free to love each other, an ex nun who escapes the oppression of the church to pursue a life of science, a little girl who is so good at manipulating she overthrows an entire empire in one day, and a 12 year old boy who murders god with a knife
Phillip Pullman is legitimately baffled that Christians got all upset about Harry Potter when he was writing HDM at the same time. And typically when authors have those themes, they still say in interviews that it’s just a story and/or their writing about religious corruption than religion itself. But Pullman just goes and says “If God as the Christians imagine him exist, it would be a moral duty to kill him” (paraphrasing)
As a Jew, I second that sentiment of Pullman’s.
Phillip Pullman: I think Narnia is toxic and bad for children and this series is quite literally meant to destroy it
Everyone: Haha okay sounds like wacky good fun
Pullman: everyone’s soul is manifested in a separate entity called quite literally a daemon
Everyone: sounds cute, nice aesthetic
Pullman: these children shall destroy the concept of heaven and hell
Everyone: ah bless
Pullman: they join with rebel angels to create a republic of heaven
Everyone: such cute fantasy
Pullman: “If there is no longer a king, or a kingdom of heaven, it will have to be a republic in which we are free citizens. We ourselves as citizens have to build the republic of heaven.”
Everyone: NEVER understood the elephant wheels thing tho
Philip Pullman never got flak from Christian groups? That’s news to me, it’s still on the ALA’s list of most commonly banned books, almost two decades after the last book was released: http://www.ala.org/advocacy/bbooks/frequentlychallengedbooks/childrensbooks
must. cuddle. with. dog.
🎥 by master1718
I’m really boring if I’m not comfortable with you
The realest thing you will ever need to know about me.
really want to go sit in the middle of nature and not think for a while
I had to pee really bad and o forgot that I had just sliced jalapeño peppers and the chef is looking nice at me weird because I’m pouring milk on a rag and running to the bathroom
My dick has been on fire for over an hour
I told my chef what happened and he was like “you only make that mistake about fourteen times”
He tells me this story about this time he had gotten out of a chili class in which he had been cutting habenjero peppers all class and he goes back to his dorm and starts finger blasting his girlfriend and she stars SCREECHING.
She he fukin SPRINTS to the dorm prep kitchen and gets a gallon of heavy cream and runs back to the room. He starts pouring this shit all over her Cooze right, and she’s like shoveling cream into her hole. And he’s freaking out. Like he’s so sure that this chick is don’t with him forever.
So they deal with this thing and the cream works and he’s like massaging it into her pussy for like a half an hour because you have to constantly soak it to nullify the habenjero oils or whatever. And she gets INTO IT.
She fucking CUMS
And my chef tells me this stupid ass story and looks me in the eye and says to me
“Nothing says I love you like a gallon of heavy cream in her pussy”
And I think that’s the best sentence I’ve ever heard in my entire life.
Yes good story but WHY IS IT IN LIKE 8 DIFFERENT PARTS DO YOU KNOW WHAT PARAGRAPHS ARE.
ITS THIS. YOU COULD HAVE DONE THIS.
SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE AT WORK AND CANT POST EVERYTHING AT ONE TIME FUCK OFF
its serialized. he’s a modern day dickens
Fun fact: the guys at our college’s geology department prop out the doors with their samples. I totally understand why but as someone whose work with samples is necessarily super delicate and sterile it fucks me up so bad
lol idk if you watch nautilus live at all but watching them process bio & geo samples side by side evokes exactly this Thing (the descriptions are gold too… “here are the 30 steps we use to preserve bio samples, and as for rocks, well, we let them dry, bag them, & put them in the Rock Box)
Good to know there’s enough Biologist Salt™ to go around
OK I’M SORRY I HAVE TO STEP IN HERE. becoming a geology major is a fucking ride. geo departments are notorious for all getting sick at the same time because we lick each other’s samples. like… literally as a teaching tool they just pass the same sample around the room for everyone to lick. and what’s worse, if this is an unknown sample, sometimes people are pouring acid on it! yeah! you lick samples that literally have hydrochloric acid on them. everyone does this. you’re expected to eat in lab. yes, that’s a $20k microscope next to a box of chinese. nbd.
“meanwhile geologists are hitting their samples with hammers” i know of at least a dozen people who have been sent to the hospital because of rock fragments hitting them in Bad Places. my own dad (also geologist) drove a hammer through his shin and had to hike the twenty miles out. there’s no safety. it’s literally like sink or swim. i know of three people who have died on geology field trips. we were out last week and a boy cut most of his thumb off. nbd, can someone drive daniel to the hospital? cool.
geology is insane.
when I worked in a geo lab I went down to storage to get some more samples with a prof and at one point he cut his finger open on a very sharp quartz crystal
I watched him scotch tape the wound shut
heh literally the ugliest
Carrie Fisher in the trash with a bottle of wine, 1977
Truth coming out of her well to shame mankind
My aesthetic
luke skywalker wanted to go to Tosche Station to pick up some power converters but instead the entire plot of star wars happened & that’s basically like having your #1 goal being a trip to Home Depot and instead you get harrison ford and religion
I love it when people ask shit like “Which world would you rather live in? Star Trek or Star Wars?” When like, Star Trek takes place in a world where mankind has erradicated diseases and war and explore space to make contact with new civilizations, and in Star Wars everything is old and dusty and every 20 years a new angry white man murders half the galaxy.