So this is just me screaming into an empty sky, but I need to just vent right now because holy fuck do I live with an awful roomie.
So to start, shes not doing well mentally or financially, so I've been helping where I can, usually meaning I buy her groceries almost every week and I buy occasional gifts to cheer her up. It's now turned into me basically being a second piggy bank for her, and I know I can say no, but the nerve of her seeming to expect me to say yes all the time is fucking infuriating.
Also I cant talk about healthy eating, weight loss, obesity, or CICO around her because it's basically hate speech apparently, even though I just wanted to share the progress I've been making that's been really hard for me to make. I cant even call smokers addicts cause apparently its rude and disrespectful! 🙄
I'm also expected to basically do most of the chores around here cause shes got back problems from past accidents, so even if I've been working 10+ hours days (plus commute) I have to clean the house myself, clean the outside, and take out the compost recycling and garbage as well.
Shes been on stress leave for like a month now and my god is my sympathy wearing thin. She sits at home 90% of the time either sleeping or playing games (on my tv that I let her use mind you) and seems to not understand just how exhausted I am from working all the time, like I'm sorry I dont have time for much after work I've been up since 4am and i got home at 5pm, forgive me.
And now the latest bullshit, we got our shower re-caulked yesterday at 11am, landlord said itd be fine to use in 12 hours, I waited until 7pm today to use it cause I'm dealing with monthly lady problems and like hell I'm gonna stew in my own stank until tomorrow night. And when I got out of the bathroom my roomie asked if I'd showered so I said yes, and she said "ok I dont want to talk to you anymore, go to bed". Like ??? I feel like I'm living with a bitchy mother again man.
Nothing around here is cheap for rent and honestly I like her cats too much to move, but my fucking gawd do I hate users like this. I feel trapped and hopeless here, I lost my dad to cancer last year so I'm limited on support, and it's taking ann my self restraint to not scream at her. I'm so close to a mental breakdown but it seems like my issues don't matter to her, all I feel from her is disappointment and disgust and like I'm somehow the problem here.
Honestly if it weren't for my dad I'd consider self harm, hes the only thing keeping me from going back to that dark place. (That and my dog, who's curled next to me right now)
I cant even sleep right now cause I'm so mad, she also just cooked the one thing that wakes me up at night so its gonna be a while anyways. She told me when I moved in that she was difficult to live with, I didnt think itd be this bad. I'm trying to rebuild myself after losing my father and it just feels like shes tearing down any progress I make, shit hurts man. I guess misery does love its company.
If anyone actually wasted their time to read this, thanks I suppose, I dont mind nor care if you didnt though, I'm used to being ignored and I've been thrown so many pity parties over the course of my life I'm sick of them. Goodnight <33
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