Play with Dolls

Jessica Drew - Spider Woman - SWORD agent - mother? [][] avatar by ϟ boite-a-idees

[spy-derxqueen]

a bio

[samfalconwilson-avenger]

Sam held out his arms to catch her as she launched at him. The second he could she held her tightly against him so there was no doubt in her mind that this was him right here with her. His arms squeezed her, although he reminded himself not to squeeze too tightly as she was carrying precious cargo. "I don't know, Jess," he muttered into her hair before giving the top of her head a kiss, "I was getting some people out when it went up." Maybe they saw him go in and not come back out? "I'm right here, baby. Right here."

[spy-derxqueen]

Jessica took deep breaths to force herself to calm down. Such intense stress was not good for the little bean. She would not really forgive herself if anything happened to their child. It was already difficult with all the self-doubt and lonliness. The spider stayed glued to her partner, just taking him in, his scent, his warmth, his words.

His embraces were the best but also so rare , that at this second , she just realized she did not have the strength to go through all of this without him, to always wait for him to be able to contact her, to see him in hidden and secure places. Hoping no one had followed her. She had a small reliable support system, but even Carol could not be there 24/7, and Carol , wasn't Sam. "I don't know if I can keep doing this, Sammy." she whispered against him.

[samfalconwilson-avenger]

@spy-derxqueen cont. from here!

It was supposed to be a simple mission. Super easy - in and out with no real problems. All he needed to do was check up on an old contact who said he had some information on a potential Hydra operation in Southern Mexico but when he met up with Joaquin, they were ambushed. Seemed like someone had leaked their meeting. Joaquin and him had gotten out alright but the building and some Hydra goons? Not so much. For the most part he was laying low and after an hour or so he tried calling Jess to let her know that he was okay, but every call of his never went through. Well, shit.

He had Redwing ping Jess's phone and when he saw she was located in a hospital, his gut twisted. Why the hell was she in the hospital? His mind was going a thousand beats per second as he headed to the hospital. Was she okay? Was the baby okay? He asked the front desk if Jess was checked in but there were no patients with that name. So if she wasn't a patient, what was she doing? Sam pulled out his phone and started following it but he didn't need it when he heard Jess's screams. His pace quickened and he came skidding to a halt as he looked down the hall and saw her sobbing outside of a window. "Jess?" he called out, walking towards her with a hurried pace.

[spy-derxqueen]

First, Jess thought she was imagining his voice. That wouldn't be the first time , right ? Hearing the dead. Yet, when she heard someone rushing towards her, she turned to mostly then back away. It took a solid minute for her to realize that those footsteps were belonging to Sam. Her Sam. There were so many emotions on high drive, it took her even longer to comprehend that whoever told her that Sam had died, was wrong.

Still in tears, unable to calm down, she opened her arms and went straight into his arms. "They said you died... "she cried. "They said you died in the explosion" she repeated and completly broke down. Her hands clung on the fabric of his vest, while the sobs shook her very core. "Why would they say that"

[webheadpxrker-deactivated202507]

"Oh uh... is 'its complicated' an okay answer for that question?"

[spy-derxqueen]

"Haha , sure is. Seems like us spiders are subscribed to that status huh. At least you're not dating a fugitive ?"

[webheadpxrker-deactivated202507]

@spy-derxqueen from here

"I tend to have a lot on my plate but...yeah, i mean I'm doing as good as you can I guess."

[spy-derxqueen]

"That's good to hear. Are you still with... what's her name ?... MJ ?"

[spy-derxqueen]

[ loss ] - Sam

She was running - so fast - her ears were ringing - she felt sick - she felt like the air in her lungs had been knocked out and she couldn't breathe - god she couldn't breathe - she couldn't think - she couldn't do anything. The helplessness, the pain , it was gripping her by the throat, paralyzing her. It was just suppose to be a mission , nothing dangerous. He had promised it wasn't dangerous. He had promised to come back. Yet there she was, running until she hit the dead end of a window. On the other side was a burned body. All she had been told , was that there was an explosion with fatality...that it was the man she loved, the father to her unborn child, her rock in the storm was now on the other side of this window, lifeless and she could nothing about it. Her face twisted and as the tears came running she screamed. "OH GOD NO NO NO NO SAM..." she cried. "Sam...don't leave me here Sam...." she continued just staring at that body in front of her.

[webheadpxrker-deactivated202507]

"Sorry, I think I missed that- say again?"

[spy-derxqueen]

"Your head is always somewhere else, isn't it ? I asked if you were doing good"

[stabbyresources]

Make a assumption about my muse and see how they react! Anything goes!

[wxntercap-barnes]

“Then why are you here, Jessica?” he asked, “Are you here to find answers or are you looking for permission to do something?” Bucky sighed as he looked a his beer bottle, “Or….are you here wanting help? Because you know I will and so will Sam. All you have to do is ask.”

[spy-derxqueen]

Jessica licked her lips and looked at her hands. "I want validation for what I'm going through., for what I'm feeling. Not some you're strong, you'll get through it. I want someone to just take it at face value. Then comes the advice and then help ... and I just feel like this line of work is not one to have a kid ...look what happened to Barton ..."

[spy-derxqueen]

Jessica licked her lips and looked at her hands. "I want validation for what I'm going through., for what I'm feeling. Not some you're strong, you'll get through it. I want someone to just take it at face value. Then comes the advice and then help ... and I just feel like this line of work is not one to have a kid ...look what happened to Barton ..."

[barxnzemx]

@spy-derxqueen cont. from here:

Karla had told him of the woman, Jessica, that is alter persona had created and raised to be an assassin. It took some digging and some connections to find the woman and where she may be but it evidently paid off as he found her in front of a statue covered in stone. "You seem distressed," he greeted as he came to stand next to her.

[spy-derxqueen]

Jessica looked at the man next to her. She had learned that some people where just decent people and actually were able to show empathy when seeing another human in pain. It was true that she did not try to hide anything. So while being her cautious self, she gave the benefit of the doubt to this stranger. "I lost my father recently. " It wasn't as recent, but the feelings of loss where still there. "He does not have a tombstone so ...I come here."

[lvdysigyn]

“Not long at all. Not quite two months yet, just around the seven-week mark.” Sigyn tore a page from the notepad, writing a phone number across the page before offering it to the other. “I must warn you that you’ll likely experience stronger feelings once you have left, but if you find yourself with any worries or questions that I may be able to help with you can reach me at this number.”

[spy-derxqueen]

Jessica took the note and looked at the number. She nodded. She had a lot of thinking to do and had a timer right there telling her that time was short to make that decision. "Okay." she replied. "Do you...if I...decide to...not keep it...do you...also do that or...no ?"

[samfalconwilson-avenger]

Sam didn’t want her to leave but he knew why she was going to. “I’m only a phone call away,” he assured her just before they kissed. Once she left he ran the opposite direction and disappeared into the shadows.

[lvdysigyn]

“For the moment I’m using a simple spell that allows me to monitor things such as your vitals, but also will register hormones shifts that are indicative of pregnancy. It won’t give me anything too in depth, but,” she hummed faintly as she paused, the soft teal glow of her magic fading after a moment. “It does conclude that you are with child.”

[spy-derxqueen]

"Well shit" she breathed out. There was no real relief in knowing that. Only more questions, and more doubts. She wasn't even sure it would be a good idea to be a parent, let alone have a new life on this earth. She also wasn't sure what Sam would be thinking about this. "And ...can you like...tell me how long I have been pregnant? "

[lvdysigyn]

spy-derxqueen​:

-

Jessica felt herself relax a bit. She was not questioning why, maybe her instinct to just endure. “No worries Doc. I’m allergic to Flerken, and no, not really. “  she answered. The next question however gave her pause. “I… think I’m …pregnant…I just need…confirmation “

✻

        “Luckily I haven’t seen a Flerken in a number of years.” She kept her tone light as she made her way over to the woman, smile softening just slightly. There were any number of worries that came along with pregnancy, and while Sigyn wasn’t sure what the woman was feeling exactly she did have some understanding. “Here, if you’d be so kind as to give me a name? It can be any name you’d like, just something for my own records.” She passed a small notepad and pen to the other before she shifted her focus to her spell.

[spy-derxqueen]

Jessica tok the pad and after some hesitation did put Jessica Rabbit down as name. She then handed back the pad. "So ...how is this working? " she asked a bit nervous.

[spy-derxqueen]

wxntercap-barnes​:

⍟⍟⍟

Bucky had mostly meant the last part as a half-attempt at humor but he had to admit, it felt somewhat relieving to know that he didn’t have to worry about packing up and leaving rather quickly. He just….wasn’t in the mood. He sat back with his beer in his hand and took a sip as he let her talk. The bottle paused at his lips, his fingers on the glass strengthening their grip. He had managed to put the Winter Soldier behind him, for the most part, but still to recall moments from it was painful and something he rarely, if ever, voluntarily spoke about. He pulled the bottle back from his lips and sat it down on the end table. “I can’t tell you who you are, Jess,” he replied, “but you’re right, I get it. Before Natasha and Tony helped deprogram me, I felt the same way. But for you…the only person that is going to be able to tell you who you are is yourself. And in a way, you’re more fortunate than me because you get to choose who you want to be.”

“That’s not what I’m asking of you ... I know you can’t tell me who I am . And we’re not comparing traumas here. I could say the same of you, because you had a normal life with parents, friends, love  before they captured you...I was born in a lab , and used as a tool until...well until I carefully avoided any Hydra agent ...and Skrulls..” Jessica sighed. “ But that’s the thing tho. I was never deprogrammed. I don’t know if this is me being actif or dormant. I know I was programmed to be this version to fit into SHIELD , be able to infilitrate. To pass any and every test there could be. I might be able to choose who I want to be living on this side of the fence, but if one day someone gets their hand on what triggers me and deactivates me... “ Jessica shrugged. “ There is no book for me, it was never written down how they did it for me. And from what I know, Zemo took it to his grave, Taskmaster and my handler Oskar are not people I even want to approach nor know where they are...but if they find out I’m pregnant...I don’t know what Zemo’s acolytes could do to get their hands on something like that...and that scares me even more...”

[spy-derxqueen]

wxntercap-barnes​:

⍟⍟⍟

“Was he not supposed to? If so, you might want to let him know that,” Bucky replied as he closed the door behind her and made his way into the kitchen to fetch her a drink. He put a pot on for the coffee before stepping into the living room again. “Coffee will be a minute so make yourself comfortable,” he replied as he sat down in his chair. “What do I owe this surprise visit? Don’t tell me that HAMMER is outside ready to bring me in.”

--

“No, no it’s fine...I just ...I am just getting used to the idea, imagine I lose it and then what, have to face all the awkwardness. “ She took a seat, staying on the edge of it. “No, I wouldn’t do that to you.” she admitted.  “At least, not now...” She looked down at her hands who were so tight holding each other. “I ..don’t have many friends , few close but ... “ She sighed.  “They don’t understand.” She licked her lips.  “Finding people who went through the same thing as you is rare ... but finding someone who was created to serve, went through extreme painful training and was at the whim of 10 words ...” she stopped herself. “I came because you’re the only person I know who can ...understand me when I say I don’t know who I am anymore and don’t know how to fix it. I thought you could at least listen and understand ...because everyone just keeps saying no  you’re Jess, you’re you, you’re strong , he’s not there anymore ... like hell..what does that even mean ?”

[spy-derxqueen]

samfalconwilson-avenger​:

*

Sam faintly heard the sounds of sirens and he knew he couldn’t stay much longer. Not without the possibility of getting caught. Then what would happen to Jessica? He couldn’t abandon her. Especially not now. He sighed as he took her hand. “Come with me.”

.

Jessica stood up, sowly and stood there for a short moment. She looked down at their hands and squeezed them. Most of her anger was not done, her sadness either, they were so overwhelming that she couldn’t really feel joy or love or a reason to stay with him right now. She just wanted to be alone, isolate, until she would eventually be okay. “I can’t” she murmured and took a deep breath.  “It’s easier to hide alone...I would only be a loud beacon...so...I think...I’m just head back ...and...text you...”  She kissed him and turned her heels to walk away.