peter pettigrew

the rat in the shadows gryffindor of '78 shop boy at honeydukes

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aalectocarrow:

Peter might be smarter than he looked, he certainly seemed smarter than she had ever given him credit for. Although that really wasn’t saying much. She had expected him to be easier to goad, to provide her more entertainment, she hadn’t expected him to be so capable at holding his tongue. She was buzzing, on edge. She was looking for something to set her off. 

She circled around Peter, as if she were stalking her prey. “It’s a dark, cold night,  our options are endless.” Her voice was low, breathy, as her mind reeled, she wanted to force Peter to be more entertaining, “Tell me Pettigrew, when was the last time you made someone bleed? Made a mudblood pay?” Her voice was no louder than a whisper. There was no one around, but even Alecto knew better than to raise her voice. 

With every step Alecto took around him, Peter felt himself grow smaller. A feeling he’d grown used to over the years - how could one not feel tiny when their best friends stepped all over them, making them feel insignificant in the world? Prodding at the fact that his alternate self was a tiny rat while they were grand animals. He was nothing to them, and the smaller she made him feel, the more those thoughts consumed him. 

He was no one to everyone. “I-- I--” Peter choked out, staring at the ground as his body trembled head to toe. “Y-You know I don’t -- that’s not what I -- I-- I’m not supposed to,” he fumbled to get out, the mild control he’d had on his speech long gone now. Everyone in the Death Eaters knew the Dark Lord only trusted him to gather information. He had done it before though, back when he’d gone through the initiation to be trusted. He’d hated it. Power wasn’t what he wanted, he only sought the safety of their side. 

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the-alicelongbottom:

She grinned, happy that he was here period– Peter deserved all the happiness in the world, and sometimes she worried that he missed out.  She didn’t know if it were insecurities of his own making or if they were perpetuated by his larger than life friends, but either way, she knew that she wished he found more reasons to smile.  “Well I’m just so glad that you decided to come!”

“Baking is how I relax,” she smiled.  “I’m sure you have something like that– something that just makes it easier to be you.  I’m so glad you liked it though.  Anything in there you particularly loved?”  She nodded, glancing over her shoulder.  “He went to go get us something to drink.”

“Couldn’t really miss it, could I?” Peter shrugged off with a somewhat forced smile. He’d missed too many things in the past year, and he knew everyone was starting to get a little suspicious of him at times. Or maybe that was the paranoia speaking, Peter couldn’t really be sure anymore, but he knew he had to start involving himself again, even if it was the last thing in the world he wanted to do. “Everyone’s gonna be here and all.” 

Peter considered the idea of having something to make him relax. Hell, he couldn’t even remember the last time he’d felt relaxed. Maybe while sleeping, but he wasn’t awake so he couldn’t really tell. Nodding about Frank, he paused before answering. “I dunno ‘bout that, but uh,” he thought about it a second before humming. “All of it was good, the blueberry muffins were best though, I reckon.”  

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fromthemeadowes:

“It’s wonderful, really.” Doe had always loved looking up at the stars. It was like simultaneously looking into the past and future. “Yeah a right mess. Some days I wonder if we’ll make it through to the end you know?”

Peter nodded his head, his lips pursed. “We will. Things are, you know, getting better, for the most part, right?” he shrugged. “M-maybe its just gonna keep getting better until its b-back to how it should be.” He had little hope for this, which was why he continued to play both sides, insuring what he hoped would be his safety either way. 

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lilyevanssx:

Lily nodded at his words, a small smile crossing her lips. Despite their differences, and even their separation, she always had liked Peter. She secretly felt bad for him, since James and the others often seemed to drag him along; string him out. She knew James loved him, of course he did, but Peter sometimes let James do things that infuriated her. She wished she could help Peter see that he was as good as she knew he was. She wished to help him not to be afraid. “I’m safe Peter,” she said, nodding. “Really, you don’t need to worry about me. How are you though? You seem incredibly jumpy yourself.” 

Lily couldn’t help but beam when talking about Harry. It was like a smile was built into her lips every time Harry was even mentioned. Someone didn’t even have to say his name and Lily’s lips were already stretched outwards, showing brilliant white teeth as love radiated from every pore. “You know, I think he’s going to say James’ name first, so you’ll want to be around for that as he rubs it all in my face. It’ll be quite funny for you, I’m sure. And if he manages to say mine first, I’ll be rubbing it all in James’ face as well.”

Her shoulders shrugged lightly at Peter’s rebuttal. “Well, she’s welcome, if you’d like her to come along. We’ve got that really comfy chair in the living room, and I’d just hate to think of your mum all alone on Christmas, anyways. Breaks my heart really.” Lily couldn’t help but think of her own mother who, currently, refused to speak to her. Since Petunia had convinced their mum that magic was evil and so her youngest daughter was as well, Lily didn’t see her family very often. She missed her dad, but mostly, she missed having a mum. She hoped that she’d be a good enough mother for her own son, as well.

Peter didn’t know how Lily could stand so proud here, in the open, knowing there were people who would kill her without thinking twice. Shaking his head, his tongue peeked out to lick his lips with a quick swipe. “Maybe a bit, just, the r-recent death kinda stunned me, you know?” he explained lamely. “Didn’t think they’d... go after someone that big and all.” It was pretty well known that the Malfoy’s were practically royalty. If they weren’t safe, Lily should feel that much less safe, shouldn’t she? 

Biting his lip, Peter shook his head, “It’d be good to be around, but hey, your names probably easier to say, right?” he pointed out with a small, nervous chuckle. He probably would laugh either way, though one of which would be far more forced. “Probably won’t be ‘round for it though, they say things at any time, right?” Yet he still hoped he would say Lily’s name first, if only so he didn’t have to hear James brag about it for... well, knowing James - forever. 

“I’ll let her know, I’m sure she’d love to cuddle with Harry if he lets her, she’s been a bit sad since our cat died and all,” Peter noted, wrinkling his nose. It’d been no skin off his back to lose the cat, seeing as they’d never gotten on for very obvious reasons. “She’s thinking about getting another, so maybe some baby time’ll make her not get one, somehow.” The logic didn’t really make sense, but Peter was nervous, and often times when he got nervous, dumb things spilled out before he could stop them.

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the-alicelongbottom:

She smiled happily at Peter– she had always liked the younger boy; and that was what it felt like.  It felt like he was so much younger than she was.  She wanted to hug him and protect him from all of the evil things in the world– as it was, she regularly sent baskets filled to the brim with treats, hoping that, at the very least, he was feeding himself.

“I’m so glad you’re here!  This is fun, and it’s much needed.  Who are you here with?  I’m–” she momentarily hesitated, thinking of the news she had just learned, of the pregnancy she was too afraid to admit to.  “I’m good!”  She looked down at her son, a gentle finger tracing his cheek as she gave him a piece of cotton candy.  “I hope so.  Poor kid is cooped up far too often.”

Alice was easily among his favourite people in the order. How strange that he’d joined because of being friends with the blokes, yet found himself more drawn to anyone but them. These days he even felt closer to Lily than them. As such, he’d noticed her hesitancy, but returned her smile, thinking it was probably about Lucius’ death. They’d all sort of assumed that no purebloods would be killed after all, and having someone on the other side killed by their own kind, well it had to take a toll on everyones sanity. 

“I’m here alone,” he shrugged. “Mum said thanks for the last basket of goods by the way, though neither of us are you know, sure how you manage it with having Neville around,” he added with a smile down at the little kid, squatting down to play with him. Admittedly, the baskets helped more than either of them wanted to admit. With his mum not working, his fathers life insurance running dry, and his work not bringing much money in, the extra food helped so much. “Frank ‘round?” he wondered, looking up from Neville. 

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aalectocarrow:

Peter was a disappointment, it was hard to be reassured by someone who seemed so terrified. Not that she wanted him to be braver, he was more fun when she felt like even her tinniest movements would have him on edge, but right now, while she was so uncertain, she would much rather have someone else with her, perhaps someone she could gang up on him with. Instead she was stuck with a boy, wishing he was able to make her feel better about herself. “Perhaps. It is always a good method, to lull your victim into a false sense of security, makes them even easier to pick off when the time comes.” 

She shook her head, “The worst thing we can do is sit around and speculate. He knows what he’s doing, and we still have the Taboo, incase anyone gets too comfortable.” She cracked her knuckles, nervously, finding it harder and harder to stay still. “We should do something. Something to entertain ourselves. No use standing in the streets getting cold.”

Peter’s blood ran cold - to the point of being near ice. Was Alecto talking about him? He’d been using that method with the Order since joining the Death Eaters, but it didn’t escape him that the same method could be used on him. It was why he was wary of all of them. He hadn’t come this far to be killed by the Death Eaters for no reason. Suddenly, he looked at Alecto with new eyes. Had it been her that killed Lucius? Would she now kill him? “Yes. I g-guess it’d be a good method for just about any situation.”  

Swallowing, he nodded, a small movement. Did she know where he was? Did anyone? Being left on the outside was starting to feel more and more like his own death sentence. “What do you suggest?” he asked, attempting to keep what he had to say short and to the point. Anything to avoid stumbling over his words more. With her, he didn’t want to appear weak. 

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widowcd:

Eyes fell on Peter and Narcissa almost let out a breath of relief —- she wasn’t in an particularly talkative mood ( but then, when was she ever those days? ), but the idea of standing there on her own for very much longer had made her feel restless. “Are they, now?,” she wondered, folding the programme close. She liked Peter, admittedly, valued his spirit and the way he tended to differ from the Death Eaters. “I don’t know much about Quidditch teams, to be quite honest —- I think I know who won. Syria, wasn’t it?” Her words were meant to sound light, perhaps even amused, but she heard how strange they sounded, as if it was someone else talking that didn’t quite know how Narcissa usually sounded.

Peter gave a small shrug, smiling up at her nervously. “Honestly, dunno,” he admitted. He’d just wanted to cheer her up, somehow. A smile would have been nice, but he couldn’t expect that much from her. But, she seemed more distant than ever. Her eyes didn’t even look like they were looking at him. Something that should be a good thing, but Narcissa was one of the few people who didn’t make him uncomfortable when really looking at him. “Uh, no. They were in the finals though. I only even know anything because of...” he trailed off, thinking of the people who were supposed to be his best friends. It was only then that he realized it wasn’t smart to talk to Narcissa in public like this. Swallowing, he shrugged again. “You know.” 

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fromthemeadowes:

“Yeah the quiet is nice.  That’s one of the biggest reasons I like going to visit my dad. Its nearly silent where he lives, and you can see the stars.” She laughed almost humorlessly. “Yeah intense is a good word it lately.  Though personally I prefer chaotic mess, but intense is good.”

Peter looked up as she mentioned the stars. You could maybe see one or two, trying to glimmer through the smog of the city, but it wasn’t anything like what you could see at Hogwarts. “That sounds nice,” he decided in a soft tone. Shaking himself out of those thoughts, he nodded at her description. “Y-yeah, that works pretty good too. Everything’s a bit of a m-mess lately huh?”

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widowcd:

She felt eyes glide over her, she felt them avoiding her own and Narcissa wished she hadn’t come. Still, she’d told herself she needed the distraction, that she needed to get out of the house that was filled with Lucius, Lucius, Lucius, that she needed to put her mind to something else entirely. Even if it was something that barely interested her like Quidditch — she’d never much seen the appeal in freezing to death on a broom. The ground was sticky with sugar and she wrinkled her nose; Narcissa Malfoy did not belong there, and she was painfully aware of it. Glancing at the programme, she let out a long sigh. “I suppose I’m rooting for the Harpies,” she murmured — an all-female Quidditch team sounded, after all, much better than one named after wasps.

 Peter saw her, but.... well, he wasn’t sure if this was the right time. Or the right place. He’d been too terrified to come visit her since the death, but he missed Narcissa. It was selfish, he could admit that much. But he wanted to speak with her, if only for a moment. Walking up hesitantly beside her, he reached with a trembling hand to grab a programme as well. Licking his lips, he nodded at her comment. “Heard the Wasps are a bit wasp-ish, anyway,” Peter attempted the joke lamely, giving her a small smile. She looked so, so sad. And above all the horrible things he’d done, that made him feel the worst. Narcissa didn’t deserve to be hurt. She was such a good person, a brilliant witch, and the best mum he’d ever seen. 

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the-alicelongbottom:

She looked around, excitement on her face.  This was brilliant– there was so much wrong with the world right now that it was absolutely brilliant to spend time at an event so fun and lighthearted.  And furthermore, Neville was always cooped up in the house.  She would take every opportunity to introduce her son to the more beautiful parts of their word.  There was so much good, and that’s what made fighting worth it– it wouldn’t stay bad forever.

She had lost Frank, but she was sure he’d find his way back to them eventually.  She pushed Neville’s stroller over toward a food booth, buying them a bunch of cotton candy for them to share.  He was going to end up on a sugar high, but she didn’t mind.  He could enjoy himself.

“Oh!”  She smiled as someone approached them.  “How are you!  I’m glad you came!”

Peter had been wandering aimlessly. The owners of Honeydukes had him help set up their stall, but insisted he go and be a young lad for once. Not knowing where his mates were, he thusly had no direction. Instead, he just enjoyed the chaos around him, until he noted a stroller not too far off. Furrowing his brow, he wondered why Lily would come with Harry until he realized who it was. “Alice,” he smiled, genuinely glad to see her, if not a bit nervous. 

He’d always liked Frank and Alice. Though they had every reason to act as though they were above him, they always treated him like a friend. Never rude, pushy, or anything of the sort. Just... them. Being friends. “I’m alright, how ‘bout you? Neville looks happy,” he grinned down at the little tyke. 

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lilyevanssx:

Lily’s heart flooded when she heard his words, and she gently reached out, letting a hand fall on his shoulder. “I can take care of myself,” she said, gently. “But, thank you, though. I appreciate the kindness. After everything, it’s nice to be reminded that people still care.” She smiled, a graceful thing that lingered on her lips even after her lips had moved back to their neutral position. Just saying those words wasn’t particularly enough in Lily’s opinion, but she hoped that Peter would understand that she meant it. 

Sometimes she felt like her words were taken as being fake, especially recently. Lily was intelligent, and sometimes her intelligence hid her true feelings. In the best way, that meant she could get away easily with lying to those who didn’t know her quite well enough to know she was hiding something. On the other hand, it also meant that those who didn’t know her quite as well might not understand how she really felt. As a person who was quite connected to people, Lily sometimes hated the way that her own words could get in the way.

“Oh, completely,” Lily said, a grin spreading across her lips. “Harry’s a monster but I love him with all my heart. And I’ll make sure not to tell James. He doesn’t need any bigger of a head than he’s already got, you know?”

She looked down as they walked, feet stepping on broken cobblestones in the moonlight. “Oh, tell your mum I said hello. She’s so lovely. I mean, I’ve only met her a couple of times, but, I just thought she was lovely. Oh, has James invited you and the other lads to Christmas yet? I mean, Remus lives with us, so he’s going to be there, but. If you’d like to bring your mum, I’m happy to cook for one more.”

Peter chewed at the inside of his cheek, not sure if Lily was trying to be patronising or not. He knew she was far more capable than himself of battling someone, but still. If Lucius Malfoy could be taken down... what hope did anyone have? Not even he was safe now, being on both sides. No one was safe. Still, he nodded and offered her a tight smile of his own. “N-no problem. Just... want to make sure you’re safe.” And he did. Lily didn’t deserve to die for being a muggleborn. She was a better witch than some purebloods he knew, if not most of them. Maybe that’s why they wanted her dead though. Peter didn’t know, and frankly didn’t want to.  

Chuckling, he nodded. “Yeah, no, s’pose he doesn’t. I miss the little guy though,” Peter sighed. Kids might not be his favourite thing, but they always looked at everyone with so much love. There was something special about that, that Peter didn’t really understand, but he liked it. Which, was why he’d admittedly avoided little Harry. He hadn’t wanted to be reminded of the times James looked at him with no judgement, only acceptance.  

Stumbling over his own feet, Peter quickly righted himself, face flushing. He couldn’t remember the last time anyone spoke of his mum without trying to push him to move out or hang out more in spite of her wishes. Something about Lily’s offer, while also stunning, made him think maybe she’d been genuine earlier, rather than patronising. “Uh, I’ll see what she thinks. She's, you know, not a big fan o-of going out and stuff.” Peter swallowed. The others had met her a few times, in an attempt for Peter to get her to see that they weren’t bad people, and he’d be well taken care of despite not being under her roof. It hadn’t worked, though she had liked Lily and Remus. “B-but yeah, I’ll tell her you said hi as well.” 

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fromthemeadowes:

Dorcas didn’t really know what answer to give him because she herself could hardly explain why she was walking around alone at night.  “Yeah, definitely safer.” She smiled. “Oh I was just out for a bit of a walk to clear  my head.  What about you? What brings you wondering out here?”

Peter’s heart fell a little in his chest as he realized she didn’t have a reason for being out. Was she here of her own accord, or still working off of the curse? The curse that was entirely his fault. “Same, really,” Peter shrugged, giving her a slight smile. “Been a bit intense lately. Nice to enjoy the quiet and all.” 

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frankielongx:

Frank couldn’t help but smile at Peter’s presence. He always enjoyed the way Peter was able to find the little details in life and make a joke out of them. Peter had a way about him that made Frank feel at ease; like everything could be okay. Maybe that was the naivety that Frank thought Peter possessed. It wasn’t a bad trait, but rather an innocence that Frank wished he still had. He wished he could still feel the same way about the world that Peter Pettigrew and his friends did. “Oh blimey, you’re right. I hope they don’t have a roast butterbeer flavor. That should never pass someone’s lips.” Frank looked over at his friend, taking a sip of his own butterbeer and tilted his head.

“Oh, but maybe gingerbread. That’d be good. I’d love some gingerbread butterbeer. We should patent it Pettigrew. Make sure that no one else steals this brilliant idea from us. We’d be the most popular bar around. I-well, I suppose we’d have to start a bar first, huh?” Frank laughed lightly, looking down at his glass as he thought about all that would go into building a bar, while still doing his duties as Auror.

“Alright, I’m willing to give this idea to you, but as long as I get some of the profits,” Frank said, a grin spreading across his lip. “How’re you doing, by the way? I feel like we haven’t hung out in ages. Probably my fault. This year has been…” He trailed off, knowing he didn’t have to really say anything else. Peter knew. They all knew.

“Reckon it’d be near as bad as the vomit beans,” Peter agreed, wrinkling his nose at the reminder of how many of those blasted things he’d eaten in his life time. Most all of them had been eaten at Hogwarts. Peter had never been good with the word ‘no’, particularly while a teenager, and thus ended up pranked with them more often than he’d like to admit. At the time, he’d forced himself to laugh along with his friends, but now it just left a bitter taste in his mouth that not even  butterbeer could remove. He needed to find a way to get past it though, to undo the way he didn’t like being around his supposed best friends anymore. So many months had gone into purposefully thinking ill of them to justify him betraying them, and now he just couldn’t seem to look past every little thing he’d pulled out of his memory. 

Peter looked at Frank, stunned as the other male went quiet after offering to go into business together. Probably didn’t mean it. The barmaid came over and Peter quickly asked for a normal butterbeer. Frank would never have the time to go into something so outside of reality. There were plenty of pubs around anyway, and Frank had a decent paying job with his wife, along with having Neville to take care of. He tried to think of something to say, but Frank beat him to it. Peter let out a hesitant laugh. “Yeah, I dunno ‘bout that, I’m... a shop boy, not really pub and drink maker type,” Peter shrugged. 

He nodded to the barmaid in thanks as she delivered his drink. “Uh,” Peter shrugged once again. “Dunno, Don’t worry bout it though, mate. Everyone’s sorta been... you know,” he gave him a strained smile. “Hows little Neville doing? Walking yet? Wh-when does that even happen?”

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aalectocarrow:

She shivered slightly, the nights were becoming colder, a chill in the air. She tried not to let it bother her. The wind was just he wind, it didn’t mean anything more. She had once been told that she lived most of her life in denial, but that want true, she simply ignored any information that didn’t suit her. 

 She laughed, pleased that he was scared to have offended her. It was like validation, validation that she was intimidating. Validation that he should fear her. "As long as you don’t make the mistake again, I won’t hold it against you. It’s always easy to spot a mudblood, it’s in the way they hold themselves, no pride. They no they have no worth, even if others don’t,“ she froze at his next words, her jaw tightening. What if he doesn’t, a voice whispered in the back of her head, what I he’s gone for good. "He will be.” She snapped, angry at him for bringing out her insecurities, “were so close. He’ll be back. He wouldn’t dare leave me.”

Peter shivered too - but not due to the wind. It was a welcome excuse, but the truth was simple: Alecto frightened him. Perhaps more than most any other Death Eater, apart from Rodolphus. At least with Lestrange, he knew how to somewhat navigate things and not end up in hot water. Alecto on the other hand... there was something not right with the woman, but Peter didn’t know what. “True,” he nodded, swallowing. Somehow her words felt like a jibe at him, but Peter tried not to let it show more than he had to. “I’ll keep that in mind for next time.” It was a struggle not to continue stuttering, and as such, Peter nearly tripped over the words to get them out faster. 

Nodding, he shoved his hands deeper into his trouser pockets. His shoulders began to curl slightly, as if expecting for her to take her apparent anger out on him. “N-no, of course he wouldn’t. He’s, probably, doing something to help finish them o-off,” Peter nodded, trying to sound confident and entirely failing this time. He pursed his lips together, reminding himself it was easier to just stay quiet in these moments.  

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fromthemeadowes:

“Are you alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” She smiled, teasing slightly. She walked closer to him, so she could properly see him.  She had always been pleasant with Peter, even in school.  Now with being in the Order, she saw him very regularly.

“I’m fine.  Just trying to clear my mind, a lot going on lately. I’m sure you understand.” She smiled at him. “Want to walk with me? I wouldn’t mind the company.”

“Huh? O-oh, no, I’m fine,” Peter lied, hoping his face didn’t look as red as it felt. It felt as though his mouth was near drooling, pushing him to swallow much more frequently than often as he nodded, falling into step with her. “Sure. Safer that way, innit?” Not that Peter was so sure anything was safe these days. “Wh-what are you doing out tonight? Bit late, innit?”

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canismxjor:

It felt odd now that Sirius assumed he might be keeping one of his best mates from doing something. His first reaction was going to be to tell Peter that if he had something more important to be doing he should go off and do it, and surprisingly enough most of the bitterness would be lacking—well, kinda. It’s not that Black didn’t understand the bloke should be keeping his mum happy (to be frank Sirius probably didn’t understand because he never bothered to keep how own mum happy, but he loved Mrs. Potter enough to at least say he once upon a time had a mother figure), but he felt it was kind of an excuse at this point. If Peter wanted to see the other Marauders he could.

“Brilliant,” Sirius answered when Peter said it has been okay. It seemed like it was something a lot of people were saying just because okay was better than admitting the demons which were swirling around everyone who was stuck living in their time. Some had to deal with more than others, but no matter who you were nothing was perfect with the life they were stuck in. With a war. “I’d invite you over for a drink, but part of me assumes you’re going to blow me off and I don’t know if my ego can take it,” he said, allowing a bit more of the usual Sirius sort of tone to slip and break the air around them which was so thick one could have cut it with a knife.

Peter knew the bloke he’d once considered his best friend wouldn’t understand. He didn’t expect him to. Maybe it did make him weak that he still followed his mums rules (to her knowledge), but Peter didn’t have the heart to break hers. She had nothing in her life left but him. She was too terrified of even the bugs that flew outside their homes door. He had to be brave for the both of them, and do what he could to keep her sane. Not to mention, now that he’d betrayed the Order unknowingly, it would be stupid to suddenly decide to move in with any of them, particularly his old best friends. They’d notice too fast if something was up, and Peter had never been the best at lying. He’d gotten better, but there were only so many things you could cover up in a day. 

Chewing at his bottom lip, Peter considered. The Death Eaters were going after each other now - even if he wasn’t Sirius’ biggest fan (honestly, he’d grown to much prefer Regulus since getting to know him), he needed the protection he would provide. Needed to mend the bridges he’d unconsciously begun to burn. “If that non-offers available,” he began, kicking a little pebble as they walked. “I reckon I could have a drink o-or two. M-mum probably won’t wake up ‘till morning.” 

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canismxjor:

He tucked his hands into his leather jacket, visibly watching his best mate drop his guard—or at least enough that he wasn’t on the verge of feeling as if he had to defend himself against whatever was lurking out in the night. “I suppose everyone had been a bit jumpy,” Sirius agreed; that being the reason he didn’t think much of Peter being on the verge of jumping out of his skin. He was a little curious as to why the other Marauder was out wandering Diagon Alley in the middle of the night, and even more so why he’d do it if he seemed so startled by the noises which went b u m p.

“Been well, mate—not that you’ve been around to know as of late.” The last part was perhaps a little bit more harsh than Sirius intended, but he didn’t understand. Black assumed that maybe Peter had just been busy with life as of late, but the Marauders always made time for each other. Maybe he was still stuck back in school, but this seemed like it was something personal. Did…he do something to upset Peter and didn’t realize it? The Marauder wasn’t good with thinking of people leaving him anyway, especially those he was so close to. Peter was currently testing one of the biggest insecurities Sirius Black had. “Everything been good with you?”

Peter chewed at the inside of his lip, looking around the rest of the area, making sure nothing else lurked which could not be heard. He’d always been so skittish, once upon a time, it’d been a seemingly funny joke to make him jump when he was unaware. These days, those jokes would never make him crack so much as an embarrassed smile. “Bit stupid not to be, th-these days, I reckon,” Peter nodded, trying to breathe more evenly. Looking up to the cloudy sky, he saw the smallest sliver of a moon peek through. Merlin what would he have given to run into Remus instead. Or maybe not. These days, it felt like running into anyone was a curse. 

A flinch at Sirius’ tone made Peter leave the sight of the moon behind. Only, the pang of guilt he’d felt since leaving school had almost entirely vanished when it came to how little he’d seen them. None of them understood that he couldn’t just abandon his mum. She had nothing but him left, and now that he’d gotten older and slowly accepted the truths he’d ignored as a child, he understood that she was terrified she’d never see him again every time she left their house. “Sorry mate, b-been busy between work and keeping mum happy,” he shrugged. “It’s been okay though.” Lonely. But Peter wouldn’t admit that. Didn’t want to admit that part of him still ached to feel like he belonged with the Marauders. He never had, and he never would.