Dr. Squire, PhD. Decisions are made by those who show up. US folks: Go to Vote.org to get information on voting. Text resist to 50409 to write to your elected officials and make your voice heard. | They/Them pronouns. Agender, Aro, and Ace-spec: you can call me AAA, but I can't help you with your car. Very queer. | **Asks for money from unrecognized blogs will be blocked and reported as spam. If a blog looks like a bot it gets blocked.** | Find me&my fics on ao3 at squireofgeekdom | Good is not a thing you are. It's a thing you do. - Kamala Khan
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ishida uryu was a fav the instant i first encountered him in his very first panel in the bleach manga and he still lives in my head rent free. he was one of the main characters in my first published fanfic, back in 2012. that fic was meant to have a sequel, and a recent commenter (thank you!) got me thinking about it again.
so, under the cut for whoever's may be interested, thoughts on what general points /themes would have been in the sequel (and some bonus context)
as a handful of you might know, my very first published fanfic was a uryu/ichigo fic on ff.net. it was intended to have a sequel that, i finally accepted in 2016, i wasn't going to end up writing. in 2021, when folks were noting that ff.net was hanging by a thread, i didn't want it to get lost, so i copied it over to ao3 (backdated) for archival purposes -- and i'm glad i did, because there are still folks enjoying reading it who leave kudos and nice comments. as i mentioned, I recently got a lovely comment from someone actually coming back and rereading it (!!) who followed up to ask a question about one of the threads i'd been setting up for the sequel that never happened. which got me thinking about it again, which is, of course, a dangerous thing.
so, previously on what turns up in the dark:
the fic itself is a canon divergence au from the hueco mundo arc, where Harribel captures Ichigo, Uryu, and Orihime after the last fight with Ulquiorra on the dome. Aizen's forces take an interest in fully hollow Ichigo after seeing how he tore through Ulquiorra, as a potential soldier, and keep him, Uryu, and Orihime captive, forcing Ichigo and Uryu to fight each other (and ichigo to fight other disposable arrancar) to try and unleash the hollow again, holding Orihime hostage against Ichigo and Uryu (and Ichigo and Uryu hostage against Orihime) - basically all as contrivance to stick them together and force them to work through what happened on the dome and their stuff in the worst possible way and under the worst possible circumstances.
Orihime eventually unlocks a way to use her healing ability offensively and the three of them try to escape. Uryu pulls a self sacrifice move, going back to face Grimmjow to try and give Ichigo and Orihime time to escape. In the fight with Grimmjow, Uryu absorbs one of his gran ceros and in so doing burns through his own Quincy powers, plus some other consequences. Ichigo, realizing Uryu is not actually coming back and is pulling a self sacrifice move, goes back for him, and fortunately they're all rescued by the arrival of their other friends, having won the war against Aizen and made their way on a rescue mission.
back in the living world, the three of them are hella traumatized! Orihime needs to do a lot of processing (and punching) to get herself back to being able to use her abilities at all, and after some teen soap opera gets together with Tatsuki. (in other things that did not get written, there was meant to be the orihime/tatsuki companion fic following orihime in hueco mundo and tatsuki in the war against aizen, and then the two of them working things out in the living world, but the stuff that's happening with them does come up in this fic) Ichigo is working with the surviving vizards to get his full hollow powers under control and having some realizations. Uryu is barely staying afloat, not admitting to anyone he's lost his Quincy abilities, and also having hollow-y nightmares and, when he happens to be alone and gets attacked by a hollow, blacks out and wakes up with blood in his mouth. which is probably fine.
after drama and angst, the fic ends with ichigo and uryu getting together. but that last plot thread with uryu's hollow stuff? blacking out and eating a hollow? yup, that would have been the sequel. (and of course ichigo and uryu being ridiculous teenagers and trying to work out being in a relationship.)
and now. sequel. dealing with uryu's hollow is the biggest plot thing. the original concept as i recall was uryu working with urahara and ichigo etc to get shinigami powers and basically develop the vizards' control over their hollows. which now in hindsight im glad i didn't write because the more i've thought about it the less i like it, especially as a concept for a happy ending. i'd definitely have him regain his quincy powers and develop a way to bring the hollow under control using those
so. uryu's hollow. is really really fun conceptually because holy toledo does this kid have issues. this is a very buttoned up kid with a LOT of anger and trauma and fear and grief, a lot of which is transmuted into self loathing. and did i mention the fear. feral uryu. as a treat. for me, not him, he'll hate it.
you have the trauma within the fic of being held prisoner and his forced combat against ichigo and every horrible thing that happened during that. thinking he was going to die in the grimmjow fight! this hollow comes directly out of really really horrible shit and a situation he put himself to because of a lot of self loathing and self worth issues!
you also have, still, a lot of anger and trauma and fear and grief related to his grandfather's death, how he then reacted to it in a way he feels dishonored his grandfather's legacy - yes, he's talked about it some at the very very end of the fic, but one conversation does not mean he's over it. and there's also still fear associated with being one of the few remaining members of the quincy - being a member of a people who had a genocide committed against them by *checks notes* the shinigami of the gotei 13. [whatever the hell went on with weird retcons about the quincy in the blood war - idgaf about all that, i'd stopped keeping up before that point] he's trying to be very buttoned up in his interactions with the gotei 13 at the end of the fic but like. there's a deeper reason his first reaction is to assume that if the gotei 13 sees ichigo as a problem to them they're going to try and kill him (again). (Also the captain of the gotei 13 who had his grandfather killed for vivisection purposes not only a) did that on the gotei 13's watch but b) also never. actually faced any consequences from the gotei 13 for that or anyone of the other people he vivisected. not that they can do so now that he's dead but uh. there was a time when they a) knew and b) could have done something. and they *didn't*)
and there's not a lot of places for all of that anger and trauma and fear and grief to go. so much of it previously went into smouldering anger directed outwards at the shinigami leading up to him challenging Ichigo, but a lot of it was already self loathing and guilt, and so of course after everything that happens in his first arc, starting to let go of the hatred he feels towards Ichigo and shinigami in general is one thing, but the grief and fear and trauma that that anger came from is still there, the anger is still there, it just doesn't have the same place to go, so it is very much going inward with self loathing and guilt gnawing at his self worth. in the soul society arc he fights the person responsible for his grandfather's death, but he doesn't get catharsis from that because the fucker survives. and when things are supposed to be Fine with the shinigami of the gotei 13 - more of it is transmuted into self loathing. the fear! is not gone! it's very much not gone!
yeah. all of that?
is going into uryu's hollow
this thing Will be fucked up and will try to rip your face off like a terrified feral cat. (there is definitely some residual Cat there from grimmjow's powers being the origin point, but a very different kind of cat than grimmjow) the hollow is SCARED and it is ANGRY and all of that is coming out!! and it's gonna be everybody's problem!!! especially uryu's!! dealing with his hollow is going to require working through so much of this!! and that's gonna be rough as hell!! it's gonna suck so much!! there is a Reason he has not been dealing with this shit!! but boy howdy is he going to get stuck in a weird mindscape and have to deal with it through literal and figurative constructs of his mind!! and it is almost definitely Not going to work first try because like <gestures at all of the above> so MORE!! symbolic internal fights my beloved!!
like. uryu had to deal with ichigo's hollow with the yknow, stabbing on the dome. and also every horrible thing that got shouted at him by the hollow in the arena in the fic. and you know i love a good set of parallel circumstances and experiences so ichigo is Absolutely going to have to deal with uryu's hollow choosing violence, literally and figuratively, and then figure out how to deal with that in the context of uryu. (and now understanding more about what uryu went through with ichigo's hollow as well, and also being able to empathize and support uryu by virtue of having his own and having had some more experience with that weird relationship of self) like! all of that's delicious! little disaster teenager is going to get mauled and be like. well i guess that's fair.
and like. uryu has to acknowledge that this is happening. he's going to have to ask for help from his friends. which i think is going to go hand in hand with the currently 'barely keeping himself afloat' situation in terms of like, he is 16 and has no parental support and lives in an apartment he has to pay for and he was held prisoner for a month and is thus a bit behind on bills! he has a lot of real pride, and he has a lot of pride which is a front for his own self loathing and not feeling good enough and not feeling worthy of help, and good luck disentangling those two from each other. but i think, because parallel structures are fun, getting past some of that pride and realizing that he can ask his friends for help with his financial situation is going to go hand in hand with realizing he can ask his friends for help with his hollow - they're both requiring a lot of vulnerability from him given all his pride, the hollow is a ... dramatic form of that. hey can you help me deal with a manifestation of the most malignant, feral parts of myself that i would never ever want anyone to see. and of course they will.
(going back to things that go into the hollow and what changed for uryu after challenging ichigo - his resultant loyalty to and sense of duty to Ichigo is its own kettle of fish, like, that's tied up in the loss of his grandfather and correcting what he sees as having dishonored his legacy and meeting that legacy, and as with his attempted self sacrifice towards the end of the fic to protect ichigo and orihime, it will get self destructive because of that self loathing. that is absolutely something that needs to be unpacked in their relationship that isn't fully there yet at the end of the fic and would be a big part of the sequel, because uryu still hasn't fully accepted that he really is loved as he is, and deconstructing his idea of duty with seeing how it tangles up a relationship that's meant to be a partnership. which is complicated because ichigo is also still very new to acknowledging how he feels about uryu much less how uryu feels back, we haven't even started on ichigo's trauma and sense of how he's harmed uryu. and also they are both ridiculous teenagers. And I think uryu working through his Quincy heritage and his grandfather's legacy will give him space to meet that on much more independent terms, and working through everything with uryu's hollow will foster a lot of angst but also mutual understanding through shared experience, and some confidence that yes, actually, uryu is loved for who he is, if being faced with the awful angry and terrified manifestation of the darkest bits of his subconscious doesn't change that love nothing will)
in terms of the actual mechanics for dealing with the hollow, it's important to me that uryu gets his quincy powers back and he gets them back on his own terms. i want him to get to tell his shitty dad to comprehensively Fuck Off. maybe there's a heist to get his grandfather's old quincy artifacts and books from his shitty dad. heists are fun. lets leverage this shit.
i want him to really get to connect with and dig into his own heritage!!! and find the pieces of the solution there, put together with the help of his friends and with his own insight and experience. work through his grief and fear and reconcile with the memory of his grandfather and see a bigger picture of what he never got the chance to learn from him and figure out what that legacy means for him now, again, really define it on his own terms
and i want the gotei 13 to, at least in the smallest way, do something to do right by ishida uryu and make some step to acknowledge with what they did to the quincy writ large and what they allowed to continue to be done to the quincy survivors and descendants. not just individual shinigami helping uryu and acknowledging this, but like, as an institution and coming from their leadership. i had ukitake mention towards the end of the fic that there had been research started into quincy arrows that could purify hollows, as at least an option. in as much as he's willing to accept them, the gotei 13 under ukitake is officially going to be putting resources at uryu's disposal to help him - the research, the vizards who are now captains, etc. and some sort of official and public apology and recognition, at absolute fucking minimum. maybe uryu is able to meet and then help some other quincy survivors and descendants
and so it ends up with uryu being the quincy equivalent of a vizard, with quincy powers back and having hollow powers under control through use of his quincy powers. and it's all Very Cool and Very Uryu. he's worked through a shit load of trauma and self loathing. he's got a stable, independent living situation. he's told his dad to fuck off. he's connected to his quincy heritage. he's supported by his friends in continuing to recover from their trauma all together. and of course he's got his boyfriend.
